FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > What sort of couple? and does it matter

What sort of couple? and does it matter

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Something that gets my goat from time to time is the "your not a real couple" comments..

I have a very simplistic _iew about couples on here... and that is that if they are a couple on here with a couples profile.. then I treat them as one.

for me that means I treat a couple that have been married all their life with the same consideration I would a couple that just meet on fab..

Now I am not saying that couples should meet "play couples " Im just saying that I would treat them the same with regards to if we would meet them alone, would we want to talk to both halves etc etc. Would we respect that they are a couple etc.

TO be honest we have come across many "not real " couples that are more into each other than some "real couples"

So do you think that regardless of what sort of couple they are.... They should be seen as a couple if they are on here..

This question has come about when it was said that if it was a FWB couple that it wouldnt be expected for them to share.

We are a none conventional couple with something that suits us..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Clearly if you're a long term / married couple then the dynamics would be different from fuck buddies where it's built upon lust and sex?

Our preference would be to meet similar couples to us but we wouldn't disregard meeting a fwb type couple. Chemistry has to be right with anyone regardless of status though.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

I am surprised that you care about it, you have never struck me to be a person who overly thinks about what others do, what you do that is different from them and anything in-between.

Play partners may be less discrete, MAY and I have witnessed too many play mates spew it all out on the forums if they break up.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *alandNitaCouple  over a year ago

Scunthorpe

There is most certainly a difference between a couple who are totally in love with each other and two people who just get together to have sex.

I personally think that the whole sharing/swapping experience is intensified by the desire to see my missus having as much pleasure as possible.

Cal.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We would only want to know what we're getting ourselves into... and in that regard we would treat them differently. Meeting a FB couple is definitely an option for us... but we would look at it as similar to meeting two singles... so we would need to be in the mindset to try that out. Meeting long term couples is obviously more suitable to us. However, as I've said elsewhere, we believe that the first years of a marriage should be exclusive, so as to build good loving foundations. So we wouldn't knowingly swing with a couple who had only been together for a year or two... it just wouldn't feel right to us. That's how we see it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Different people see things in different ways. How other couples see other couples has no impact on us at all. Nobody can force other people to want to shag them no matter how much they huff and puff.

We don't want to play with fwb's (although never say never) but good luck to those that do.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I know that the couples themselves maybe different. I meant do you respect them differently.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"There is most certainly a difference between a couple who are totally in love with each other and two people who just get together to have sex.

I personally think that the whole sharing/swapping experience is intensified by the desire to see my missus having as much pleasure as possible.

Cal."

It is much better if the couple are into each other. Its like I love to see a couple that have that connection... And it's great to watch the person you care about with someone else x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I know that the couples themselves maybe different. I meant do you respect them differently. "

Honest answer is yes

Real couples are more intriguing to us as you get a window into their affections and care and not just lust. It's not why we swing but nice to see.

We wouldn't devalue a fwb couple or make them feel inferior but wouldn't believe the depth of feelings are as great.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *estmidscoupleCouple  over a year ago

West Midlands

we're a couple many would justify as FB's but it's so much more complicated and deeper than that (for us, at least). We've been judged on here for not being a "proper couple" in the past but we have a very strong bond as friends AND sex partners and I love seeing K overcome barriers and get a great deal of pleasure from our life together and vice versa

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I am more talking about respect. Not really getting my question across... It came from my other thread... Where someone said they wouldn't expect a fwb couple to share details of singles meets...

For me I will always ask to speak to the lady and would never ask to meet alone no matter what the make up of the couple...

We certainly aren't just a fwb couple now even though we did start of as that 2 and a half years ago.

I wouldn't think it okay to start messaging one half of any couple in a way that both wouldn't see... No matter what the make up.

As to the make up of a couple... We have had good times with both and don't tend to ask what the make up is .. And only twice have we had a guy from a couple try to meet without his partner knowing... And both were "real" couples x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am more talking about respect. Not really getting my question across... It came from my other thread... Where someone said they wouldn't expect a fwb couple to share details of singles meets...

For me I will always ask to speak to the lady and would never ask to meet alone no matter what the make up of the couple...

We certainly aren't just a fwb couple now even though we did start of as that 2 and a half years ago.

I wouldn't think it okay to start messaging one half of any couple in a way that both wouldn't see... No matter what the make up.

As to the make up of a couple... We have had good times with both and don't tend to ask what the make up is .. And only twice have we had a guy from a couple try to meet without his partner knowing... And both were "real" couples x

"

Maybe we are being naive but if a couple is a 'fwb' couple then why is it disrespectful to meet one of the fwb couple separately?

If the disrespect feeling is there then surely you are a couple, just not in a tradition declaration of love sense and the jealousy or disrespect eveidences this?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *estmidscoupleCouple  over a year ago

West Midlands

I get the "respect" angle, I guess I can only comment that we had a couple contact us who said they'd read profile (clearly they hadn't) and were ultra-keen to arrange something, when I explained our time constraints they asked why and I explained due to other partners etc, at which point they dropped it like a hot potato and talked at us as if we had leprosy. We're upfront about our relationship, that's all we can do - meet or don't meet us on that basis. We have some lovely friends on here in same boat as us too. Does this help?!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I am more talking about respect. Not really getting my question across... It came from my other thread... Where someone said they wouldn't expect a fwb couple to share details of singles meets...

For me I will always ask to speak to the lady and would never ask to meet alone no matter what the make up of the couple...

We certainly aren't just a fwb couple now even though we did start of as that 2 and a half years ago.

I wouldn't think it okay to start messaging one half of any couple in a way that both wouldn't see... No matter what the make up.

As to the make up of a couple... We have had good times with both and don't tend to ask what the make up is .. And only twice have we had a guy from a couple try to meet without his partner knowing... And both were "real" couples x

Maybe we are being naive but if a couple is a 'fwb' couple then why is it disrespectful to meet one of the fwb couple separately?

If the disrespect feeling is there then surely you are a couple, just not in a tradition declaration of love sense and the jealousy or disrespect eveidences this?"

so if a couple were on fab but only a fwb couple you would think it okay to message one of them to meet behind the others back..?

That's what I'm trying to say... For me if they are a couple... Then they get the same respect from me whether they are maerried. If they meet separately then I'd still want to speak to the one that wasn't meeting to make sure it was okay.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *estmidscoupleCouple  over a year ago

West Midlands

We never meet separately and we are party to all correspondence, put it that way

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We would respect anyone and everyone who wanted to play with us. But couples who aren't couples but FB's are likely to be extremely varied... with some willing to play away without needing to talk to each other and others in more of a relationship. I think we would assume, as default, that they were two singles and wouldn't care if they were playing together or playing apart. It would be up to them to assert that their FB relationship was deeper than that. That's just my initial thoughts on the matter

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am more talking about respect. Not really getting my question across... It came from my other thread... Where someone said they wouldn't expect a fwb couple to share details of singles meets...

For me I will always ask to speak to the lady and would never ask to meet alone no matter what the make up of the couple...

We certainly aren't just a fwb couple now even though we did start of as that 2 and a half years ago.

I wouldn't think it okay to start messaging one half of any couple in a way that both wouldn't see... No matter what the make up.

As to the make up of a couple... We have had good times with both and don't tend to ask what the make up is .. And only twice have we had a guy from a couple try to meet without his partner knowing... And both were "real" couples x

Maybe we are being naive but if a couple is a 'fwb' couple then why is it disrespectful to meet one of the fwb couple separately?

If the disrespect feeling is there then surely you are a couple, just not in a tradition declaration of love sense and the jealousy or disrespect eveidences this? so if a couple were on fab but only a fwb couple you would think it okay to message one of them to meet behind the others back..?

That's what I'm trying to say... For me if they are a couple... Then they get the same respect from me whether they are maerried. If they meet separately then I'd still want to speak to the one that wasn't meeting to make sure it was okay. "

If we initially saw the fwb couples profile then we would message them both as they are a couple. It is disrespectful asking to meet alone from the off particularly as there are singles on this site too. But...

If we have met for a social, play or randomly in a club and only got on with one of them then we may ask if one wants to meet alone. It's up to the fwb if they share it with their other half but we wouldn't do it if it was a traditional couple. I'm not sure if it's us being disrespectful or seeing it as a couple who should have no jealousy or attachment issues otherwise they'd be a mainstream couple.

The l

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We respect everyone on here and certainly don't judge anyone on preference, beliefs, enjoyments etc etc. However we do make a decision on whether to play with them based on those.

For us that's based on common interests, enjoyments and sharing a similar experience.

Based on that, whilst we respect FB couples, we don't play with them because in our opinion they are operating on different dynamics which means they are not sharing the same equally as we are.

Sounds autocratic, we know, but it's what we are comfortable with

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

If we have met for a social, play or randomly in a club and only got on with one of them then we may ask if one wants to meet alone. It's up to the fwb if they share it with their other half but we wouldn't do it if it was a traditional couple. I'm not sure if it's us being disrespectful or seeing it as a couple who should have no jealousy or attachment issues otherwise they'd be a mainstream couple.

"

See we used to get this a lot when people saw us as not a real couple and I'd in the end rant at someone for asking just one of us to attend something .. but we had been playing together for over a year at that point ...

But thank you for your honest answer...

I am curious as to why you would feel it okay to message a play couple but not a real couple for a solo meet... That is really the actions I was meaning as you have explained it better.

I have found more fwb couples that only play as a couple than play seperately as well.

Thank you

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

As a single person I'll only meet a FB type couple, rather than a relationship couple. Basically because I'm not a real swinger and if I'm having a threesome what I want is it to be a meeting of three individuals, not to be the add-on. To be honest from how you've described your situation I'd consider you in the same bracket as relationship couples.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

If we have met for a social, play or randomly in a club and only got on with one of them then we may ask if one wants to meet alone. It's up to the fwb if they share it with their other half but we wouldn't do it if it was a traditional couple. I'm not sure if it's us being disrespectful or seeing it as a couple who should have no jealousy or attachment issues otherwise they'd be a mainstream couple.

See we used to get this a lot when people saw us as not a real couple and I'd in the end rant at someone for asking just one of us to attend something .. but we had been playing together for over a year at that point ...

But thank you for your honest answer...

I am curious as to why you would feel it okay to message a play couple but not a real couple for a solo meet... That is really the actions I was meaning as you have explained it better.

I have found more fwb couples that only play as a couple than play seperately as well.

Thank you "

We'd never message or speak to a fwb couple from the beginning and ask for a solo meet. As I said in my earlier post, there are single people on this site you can message for that.

Although we haven't asked any fwb couples to meet alone, I guess we'd find it acceptable as we wouldn't be infringing on a romantic relationship? I appreciate that fwb couples all have their own dynamics and definitions but this is currently as we see it and we have not met many fwb couples before to understudy this species

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As a single person I'll only meet a FB type couple, rather than a relationship couple. Basically because I'm not a real swinger and if I'm having a threesome what I want is it to be a meeting of three individuals, not to be the add-on. To be honest from how you've described your situation I'd consider you in the same bracket as relationship couples. "

I would agree. FB couples are basically not in a relationship so no feet to tread on if either want to play separately or run off with someone else etc. If that isn't how you think of yourselves then you're really more of a couple. You needn't be married or anything... but you are in a relationship and that means you have sensibilities which need respecting between the two of you which we wouldn't expect to be there for a FB couple. Are you basically a couple? Or do you not see each other as marriage material and are seeking others? I'm intrigued now

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"As a single person I'll only meet a FB type couple, rather than a relationship couple. Basically because I'm not a real swinger and if I'm having a threesome what I want is it to be a meeting of three individuals, not to be the add-on. To be honest from how you've described your situation I'd consider you in the same bracket as relationship couples. "

We work as a pair if that's what you mean but both like to Give.. So if we meet a single lady its more about her than us..but there will be looks between us and touches that are just ours... If we meet as a 4sum we are different to a 3sum and again that differs from guys to girls. We just like to have fun and enjoy the other x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I wouldnt class either as any better or worse .

some FB couples are better suited to the scene than some long term/married couples and vice versa.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

If we have met for a social, play or randomly in a club and only got on with one of them then we may ask if one wants to meet alone. It's up to the fwb if they share it with their other half but we wouldn't do it if it was a traditional couple. I'm not sure if it's us being disrespectful or seeing it as a couple who should have no jealousy or attachment issues otherwise they'd be a mainstream couple.

See we used to get this a lot when people saw us as not a real couple and I'd in the end rant at someone for asking just one of us to attend something .. but we had been playing together for over a year at that point ...

But thank you for your honest answer...

I am curious as to why you would feel it okay to message a play couple but not a real couple for a solo meet... That is really the actions I was meaning as you have explained it better.

I have found more fwb couples that only play as a couple than play seperately as well.

Thank you

We'd never message or speak to a fwb couple from the beginning and ask for a solo meet. As I said in my earlier post, there are single people on this site you can message for that.

Although we haven't asked any fwb couples to meet alone, I guess we'd find it acceptable as we wouldn't be infringing on a romantic relationship? I appreciate that fwb couples all have their own dynamics and definitions but this is currently as we see it and we have not met many fwb couples before to understudy this species "

Laughed at the species ... Maybe someone could study hahaha..

I have a few friends and they are in fb relationships but yet seem more fixed on only meeting .. interestingly I realised that I felt without being a couple in the traditional sense that only meeting together helped to show that we had commitment... Yet recently realised that we know what we share so bigger what others think.

We wouldn't meet without telling the other. And we wouldn't ask any couple on fab to meet separate unless it said they did that. But perhaps that's my past bias from when people would do it to us.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have issues when people on here tell me I'm not in a 'proper' relationship because I choose to have more than one person that I refer to as my partner.

They say 'you're not in a serious relationship'

So I point out 'you're right, I'm in two'.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As a single person I'll only meet a FB type couple, rather than a relationship couple. Basically because I'm not a real swinger and if I'm having a threesome what I want is it to be a meeting of three individuals, not to be the add-on. To be honest from how you've described your situation I'd consider you in the same bracket as relationship couples.

We work as a pair if that's what you mean but both like to Give.. So if we meet a single lady its more about her than us..but there will be looks between us and touches that are just ours... If we meet as a 4sum we are different to a 3sum and again that differs from guys to girls. We just like to have fun and enjoy the other x "

But if you are not committed to each other (our definition of a non mainstream relationship) then why would it be disrespectful if one is asked to meet alone?

It appears that defining a fwb couple is causing the actual confusion here?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *estmidscoupleCouple  over a year ago

West Midlands


"I have issues when people on here tell me I'm not in a 'proper' relationship because I choose to have more than one person that I refer to as my partner.

They say 'you're not in a serious relationship'

So I point out 'you're right, I'm in two'."

I could not actually have put it better than you just did, thank you!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I have issues when people on here tell me I'm not in a 'proper' relationship because I choose to have more than one person that I refer to as my partner.

They say 'you're not in a serious relationship'

So I point out 'you're right, I'm in two'."

I think I see you're point? If you're in two or more committed relationships then each one should be treated as mainstream one? If I've got it right then I agree.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"As a single person I'll only meet a FB type couple, rather than a relationship couple. Basically because I'm not a real swinger and if I'm having a threesome what I want is it to be a meeting of three individuals, not to be the add-on. To be honest from how you've described your situation I'd consider you in the same bracket as relationship couples.

We work as a pair if that's what you mean but both like to Give.. So if we meet a single lady its more about her than us..but there will be looks between us and touches that are just ours... If we meet as a 4sum we are different to a 3sum and again that differs from guys to girls. We just like to have fun and enjoy the other x

But if you are not committed to each other (our definition of a non mainstream relationship) then why would it be disrespectful if one is asked to meet alone?

It appears that defining a fwb couple is causing the actual confusion here?"

Perhaps it is the definition but I take it if they stated that they only met together you wouldn't test that?

I guess my way of treating all couples as the same is in the minority. I just wouldn't feel right as a couple is a couple to me regardless of dynamic

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As a single person I'll only meet a FB type couple, rather than a relationship couple. Basically because I'm not a real swinger and if I'm having a threesome what I want is it to be a meeting of three individuals, not to be the add-on. To be honest from how you've described your situation I'd consider you in the same bracket as relationship couples.

We work as a pair if that's what you mean but both like to Give.. So if we meet a single lady its more about her than us..but there will be looks between us and touches that are just ours... If we meet as a 4sum we are different to a 3sum and again that differs from guys to girls. We just like to have fun and enjoy the other x

But if you are not committed to each other (our definition of a non mainstream relationship) then why would it be disrespectful if one is asked to meet alone?

It appears that defining a fwb couple is causing the actual confusion here?

Perhaps it is the definition but I take it if they stated that they only met together you wouldn't test that?

I guess my way of treating all couples as the same is in the minority. I just wouldn't feel right as a couple is a couple to me regardless of dynamic "

As much as I genuinely see your point, I would find it unusual if the two people from the fwb couples account would not have a singles account too. Surely by not having one then they are a couple, albeit in the non mainstream sense?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I have issues when people on here tell me I'm not in a 'proper' relationship because I choose to have more than one person that I refer to as my partner.

They say 'you're not in a serious relationship'

So I point out 'you're right, I'm in two'.

I think I see you're point? If you're in two or more committed relationships then each one should be treated as mainstream one? If I've got it right then I agree."

My point was really that it doesn't exactly matter what peoples relationship is.

If you are meeting two people who identify as a couple, then treat them with the same respect that you would treat any other couple on the planet.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I have issues when people on here tell me I'm not in a 'proper' relationship because I choose to have more than one person that I refer to as my partner.

They say 'you're not in a serious relationship'

So I point out 'you're right, I'm in two'.

I think I see you're point? If you're in two or more committed relationships then each one should be treated as mainstream one? If I've got it right then I agree.

My point was really that it doesn't exactly matter what peoples relationship is.

If you are meeting two people who identify as a couple, then treat them with the same respect that you would treat any other couple on the planet."

it's not often we agree but that's exactly how I think.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I have issues when people on here tell me I'm not in a 'proper' relationship because I choose to have more than one person that I refer to as my partner.

They say 'you're not in a serious relationship'

So I point out 'you're right, I'm in two'.

I think I see you're point? If you're in two or more committed relationships then each one should be treated as mainstream one? If I've got it right then I agree.

My point was really that it doesn't exactly matter what peoples relationship is.

If you are meeting two people who identify as a couple, then treat them with the same respect that you would treat any other couple on the planet."

But then that would make 'fwb' or 'fb' obsolete as everybody are a couple who are committed to each other? Otherwise requesting to meet alone shouldn't be considered disrespectful?

We haven't done this by the way (asking to meet a one half of a FWB couple alone) but participating on this thread nevertheless.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"As a single person I'll only meet a FB type couple, rather than a relationship couple. Basically because I'm not a real swinger and if I'm having a threesome what I want is it to be a meeting of three individuals, not to be the add-on. To be honest from how you've described your situation I'd consider you in the same bracket as relationship couples.

We work as a pair if that's what you mean but both like to Give.. So if we meet a single lady its more about her than us..but there will be looks between us and touches that are just ours... If we meet as a 4sum we are different to a 3sum and again that differs from guys to girls. We just like to have fun and enjoy the other x

But if you are not committed to each other (our definition of a non mainstream relationship) then why would it be disrespectful if one is asked to meet alone?

It appears that defining a fwb couple is causing the actual confusion here?

Perhaps it is the definition but I take it if they stated that they only met together you wouldn't test that?

I guess my way of treating all couples as the same is in the minority. I just wouldn't feel right as a couple is a couple to me regardless of dynamic

As much as I genuinely see your point, I would find it unusual if the two people from the fwb couples account would not have a singles account too. Surely by not having one then they are a couple, albeit in the non mainstream sense?"

but there are plenty of married couples that have singles accounts too but yes I guess I do mean the couples that state only meet together and guess that is a commitment in its on way x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *adybee77Woman  over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

I don't meet FWB/FB couples - but will meet mainstream couples.

The times I have had problems meeting have been with FWB/FB couples. One meet (not via fab) she got jealous seeing me with her fella that she bit me hard enough to draw blood on my breast, met a bi-curious fem couple and she freaked out when I went to touch her, had the bi-selfish lady, and been treated like a toy and another couple it ended up in a raging argument whilst i tried to unobtrusively get dressed and get the hell outta dodge. I've found the more mainstream experienced couples much more reliable and settled into the scene. It was either change my selection criteria, or quit swinging.

I am comfortable meeting experienced people in an open relationship - but would treat that meeting as meeting a single, and offer people that same respect from my side, as my lover knows I am on fab, and knows whether I am meeting a man or a woman, but thats as far as the info I share with him goes.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

is it also not the mistrust that comes from FB couples that the guy is just using the female to get himself meets?

with some of my female pals..we go to the occasional party or club..I'm a couple with THEM for the night..and we act no different from the other 'proper' couples.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't meet FWB/FB couples - but will meet mainstream couples.

The times I have had problems meeting have been with FWB/FB couples. One meet (not via fab) she got jealous seeing me with her fella that she bit me hard enough to draw blood on my breast, met a bi-curious fem couple and she freaked out when I went to touch her, had the bi-selfish lady, and been treated like a toy and another couple it ended up in a raging argument whilst i tried to unobtrusively get dressed and get the hell outta dodge. I've found the more mainstream experienced couples much more reliable and settled into the scene. It was either change my selection criteria, or quit swinging.

I am comfortable meeting experienced people in an open relationship - but would treat that meeting as meeting a single, and offer people that same respect from my side, as my lover knows I am on fab, and knows whether I am meeting a man or a woman, but thats as far as the info I share with him goes."

Well that's thrown a spanner in the works

Seriously though, it's amazing how the end product is sex yet we all get there a different way.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

But then that would make 'fwb' or 'fb' obsolete as everybody are a couple who are committed to each other? Otherwise requesting to meet alone shouldn't be considered disrespectful?

"

Could you examine what you mean by 'committed'?

I don't really see what your point is to be honest. If someone presents themselves to you as a couple, treat them as you would any other couple. Their living arrangements, marriage arrangements, childcare arrangements, hobby arrangements - why do they matter to you?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"with some of my female pals..we go to the occasional party or club..I'm a couple with THEM for the night..and we act no different from the other 'proper' couples."

Whereas I often go to clubs that involve sex with one of my 'serious' partners (is three years of dating serious? I don't know.) and we often play alone. Or together. Whatever. Doesn't matter to us.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *estmidscoupleCouple  over a year ago

West Midlands

3 years of dating is more than serious, yes

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I don't meet FWB/FB couples - but will meet mainstream couples.

The times I have had problems meeting have been with FWB/FB couples. One meet (not via fab) she got jealous seeing me with her fella that she bit me hard enough to draw blood on my breast, met a bi-curious fem couple and she freaked out when I went to touch her, had the bi-selfish lady, and been treated like a toy and another couple it ended up in a raging argument whilst i tried to unobtrusively get dressed and get the hell outta dodge. I've found the more mainstream experienced couples much more reliable and settled into the scene. It was either change my selection criteria, or quit swinging.

I am comfortable meeting experienced people in an open relationship - but would treat that meeting as meeting a single, and offer people that same respect from my side, as my lover knows I am on fab, and knows whether I am meeting a man or a woman, but thats as far as the info I share with him goes."

the funny thing here is we have had more problems with mainstream couples than those that aren't.... But we just looked at how we were talking to them .. but understand totally how previous experience can affect choices x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

But then that would make 'fwb' or 'fb' obsolete as everybody are a couple who are committed to each other? Otherwise requesting to meet alone shouldn't be considered disrespectful?

Could you examine what you mean by 'committed'?

I don't really see what your point is to be honest. If someone presents themselves to you as a couple, treat them as you would any other couple. Their living arrangements, marriage arrangements, childcare arrangements, hobby arrangements - why do they matter to you?"

When did I say that things like child care and living arrangements matter to me?

To me I'm a bit black and white about this fwb term. If one or both of the fwb couple has an issue about being asked to meet alone then you are a couple and not just fuck buddies. Then simply state you are a couple and keep it simple. We don't need to see a joint council tax account before meeting

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

But then that would make 'fwb' or 'fb' obsolete as everybody are a couple who are committed to each other? Otherwise requesting to meet alone shouldn't be considered disrespectful?

Could you examine what you mean by 'committed'?

I don't really see what your point is to be honest. If someone presents themselves to you as a couple, treat them as you would any other couple. Their living arrangements, marriage arrangements, childcare arrangements, hobby arrangements - why do they matter to you?

When did I say that things like child care and living arrangements matter to me?

To me I'm a bit black and white about this fwb term. If one or both of the fwb couple has an issue about being asked to meet alone then you are a couple and not just fuck buddies. Then simply state you are a couple and keep it simple. We don't need to see a joint council tax account before meeting "

Does that mean that I am just fuckbuddies with my long term partners (including one I am financially entangled with) because none of us have any problems with being asked to meet alone?

Does your theory work in reverse?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I have issues when people on here tell me I'm not in a 'proper' relationship because I choose to have more than one person that I refer to as my partner.

They say 'you're not in a serious relationship'

So I point out 'you're right, I'm in two'.

I think I see you're point? If you're in two or more committed relationships then each one should be treated as mainstream one? If I've got it right then I agree.

My point was really that it doesn't exactly matter what peoples relationship is.

If you are meeting two people who identify as a couple, then treat them with the same respect that you would treat any other couple on the planet."

The trouble with this is that there are clearly many fuck buddy couples on here who are just that... fuck buddies who have joined forces purely to open up their options. The website might give them a couple's account... and they might call themselves an FB couple... but they have no actual relationship between them... and for a good reason... they don't want to be in a relatuionship with each other. Why should you treat them as a couple... they really are just two single people.

It sounds good on paper to treat all couples the same... but I just wonder whether the majority of FB couplings would actually want to be treated like a couple... especially as that seems to be precisely what they're avoiding getting involved in.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

But then that would make 'fwb' or 'fb' obsolete as everybody are a couple who are committed to each other? Otherwise requesting to meet alone shouldn't be considered disrespectful?

Could you examine what you mean by 'committed'?

I don't really see what your point is to be honest. If someone presents themselves to you as a couple, treat them as you would any other couple. Their living arrangements, marriage arrangements, childcare arrangements, hobby arrangements - why do they matter to you?

When did I say that things like child care and living arrangements matter to me?

To me I'm a bit black and white about this fwb term. If one or both of the fwb couple has an issue about being asked to meet alone then you are a couple and not just fuck buddies. Then simply state you are a couple and keep it simple. We don't need to see a joint council tax account before meeting

Does that mean that I am just fuckbuddies with my long term partners (including one I am financially entangled with) because none of us have any problems with being asked to meet alone?

Does your theory work in reverse?"

No you in that case like us - we are happy to meet alone if that's what we want. Only trust can make this truly work

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I have issues when people on here tell me I'm not in a 'proper' relationship because I choose to have more than one person that I refer to as my partner.

They say 'you're not in a serious relationship'

So I point out 'you're right, I'm in two'.

I think I see you're point? If you're in two or more committed relationships then each one should be treated as mainstream one? If I've got it right then I agree.

My point was really that it doesn't exactly matter what peoples relationship is.

If you are meeting two people who identify as a couple, then treat them with the same respect that you would treat any other couple on the planet.

The trouble with this is that there are clearly many fuck buddy couples on here who are just that... fuck buddies who have joined forces purely to open up their options. The website might give them a couple's account... and they might call themselves an FB couple... but they have no actual relationship between them... and for a good reason... they don't want to be in a relatuionship with each other. Why should you treat them as a couple... they really are just two single people.

It sounds good on paper to treat all couples the same... but I just wonder whether the majority of FB couplings would actually want to be treated like a couple... especially as that seems to be precisely what they're avoiding getting involved in."

That's the thing though I think many fb couples do want the same respect.

There are many on here that dont even say they are not together and you wouldn't know if they didn't tell you.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

But then that would make 'fwb' or 'fb' obsolete as everybody are a couple who are committed to each other? Otherwise requesting to meet alone shouldn't be considered disrespectful?

Could you examine what you mean by 'committed'?

I don't really see what your point is to be honest. If someone presents themselves to you as a couple, treat them as you would any other couple. Their living arrangements, marriage arrangements, childcare arrangements, hobby arrangements - why do they matter to you?

When did I say that things like child care and living arrangements matter to me?

To me I'm a bit black and white about this fwb term. If one or both of the fwb couple has an issue about being asked to meet alone then you are a couple and not just fuck buddies. Then simply state you are a couple and keep it simple. We don't need to see a joint council tax account before meeting

Does that mean that I am just fuckbuddies with my long term partners (including one I am financially entangled with) because none of us have any problems with being asked to meet alone?

Does your theory work in reverse?

No you in that case like us - we are happy to meet alone if that's what we want. Only trust can make this truly work "

So couples want to meet together.

Fuckbuddies want to meet apart.

Unless it's you or I, in which case we're couples who meet like fuckbuddies.

I'm confused.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The trouble with this is that there are clearly many fuck buddy couples on here who are just that... fuck buddies who have joined forces purely to open up their options. The website might give them a couple's account... and they might call themselves an FB couple... but they have no actual relationship between them... and for a good reason... they don't want to be in a relatuionship with each other. Why should you treat them as a couple... they really are just two single people.

It sounds good on paper to treat all couples the same... but I just wonder whether the majority of FB couplings would actually want to be treated like a couple... especially as that seems to be precisely what they're avoiding getting involved in."

So you treat them like any other couple unless they *ask* you to treat them differently.

I'm wondering what you do with couples though, that you perceive might be so offensive to fuckbuddies?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Does that mean that I am just fuckbuddies with my long term partners (including one I am financially entangled with) because none of us have any problems with being asked to meet alone?

Does your theory work in reverse?"

I think you've described yourself as polyamorous elsewhere... I'd say something like that would best describe your setup. It reminds me of the Ethical Slut. Some long term couples are also comfortable meeting alone... so that wouldn't be my measure of a FB status. FB, for me, means there are no feelings between you... no relationship to mess up. That doesn't sound like what you or others on the thread are doing.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *estmidscoupleCouple  over a year ago

West Midlands


"

No you in that case like us - we are happy to meet alone if that's what we want. Only trust can make this truly work

So couples want to meet together.

Fuckbuddies want to meet apart.

Unless it's you or I, in which case we're couples who meet like fuckbuddies.

I'm confused."

Well we are what you could call an FB couple (though we're way more than just that)and we only meet as a "couple". This is a very interesting thread on perceptions

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

But then that would make 'fwb' or 'fb' obsolete as everybody are a couple who are committed to each other? Otherwise requesting to meet alone shouldn't be considered disrespectful?

Could you examine what you mean by 'committed'?

I don't really see what your point is to be honest. If someone presents themselves to you as a couple, treat them as you would any other couple. Their living arrangements, marriage arrangements, childcare arrangements, hobby arrangements - why do they matter to you?

When did I say that things like child care and living arrangements matter to me?

To me I'm a bit black and white about this fwb term. If one or both of the fwb couple has an issue about being asked to meet alone then you are a couple and not just fuck buddies. Then simply state you are a couple and keep it simple. We don't need to see a joint council tax account before meeting

Does that mean that I am just fuckbuddies with my long term partners (including one I am financially entangled with) because none of us have any problems with being asked to meet alone?

Does your theory work in reverse?

No you in that case like us - we are happy to meet alone if that's what we want. Only trust can make this truly work

So couples want to meet together.

Fuckbuddies want to meet apart.

Unless it's you or I, in which case we're couples who meet like fuckbuddies.

I'm confused."

I can't see the confusion - some couples like us don't feel disrespected or mind meeting alone. Not every other bloody day though as we are married and that's taking the piss (our _iewpoint)

If there is commitment, jealousy or affection towards then each other then keep it simple and say you are a couple regardless of whether it is mainstream or not.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The trouble with this is that there are clearly many fuck buddy couples on here who are just that... fuck buddies who have joined forces purely to open up their options. The website might give them a couple's account... and they might call themselves an FB couple... but they have no actual relationship between them... and for a good reason... they don't want to be in a relatuionship with each other. Why should you treat them as a couple... they really are just two single people.

It sounds good on paper to treat all couples the same... but I just wonder whether the majority of FB couplings would actually want to be treated like a couple... especially as that seems to be precisely what they're avoiding getting involved in.

So you treat them like any other couple unless they *ask* you to treat them differently.

I'm wondering what you do with couples though, that you perceive might be so offensive to fuckbuddies?"

I'd assume that fuck buddies have no relationship and would expect them to say different. I would also assume that fuck buddies may or may not feel that they need their "buddy's" approval for whatever they did as they weren't really in a relationship. Given that, one half of a fuck buddy might be upset that you weren't willing to do anything with them without the other half's consent, as you would with a normal couple, as their coupling is effectively a sham, just to help them open up options. That really is my definition of a FB couple.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The trouble with this is that there are clearly many fuck buddy couples on here who are just that... fuck buddies who have joined forces purely to open up their options. The website might give them a couple's account... and they might call themselves an FB couple... but they have no actual relationship between them... and for a good reason... they don't want to be in a relatuionship with each other. Why should you treat them as a couple... they really are just two single people.

It sounds good on paper to treat all couples the same... but I just wonder whether the majority of FB couplings would actually want to be treated like a couple... especially as that seems to be precisely what they're avoiding getting involved in.

So you treat them like any other couple unless they *ask* you to treat them differently.

I'm wondering what you do with couples though, that you perceive might be so offensive to fuckbuddies?

I'd assume that fuck buddies have no relationship and would expect them to say different. I would also assume that fuck buddies may or may not feel that they need their "buddy's" approval for whatever they did as they weren't really in a relationship. Given that, one half of a fuck buddy might be upset that you weren't willing to do anything with them without the other half's consent, as you would with a normal couple, as their coupling is effectively a sham, just to help them open up options. That really is my definition of a FB couple."

I'm still unsure how you would act differently around them.

I just assume everyone is a couple. I still ask politely 'do you play separately' or 'do you have singles profiles too?' if they contact me and I'm not interested in one person within the couple.

If they need approval or anything else is up to them. It doesn't matter if it doesn't impinge on what we do together. I genuinely can't see how it would make a difference to me having sex with someone if they were a 'proper' couple or not. The way they define and look after their relationship is up to them.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *imandher2playCouple  over a year ago

cheshire

We have had this a few times as well,even though our verifications clearl prove otherwise..oh well their loss!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm still unsure how you would act differently around them.

I just assume everyone is a couple. I still ask politely 'do you play separately' or 'do you have singles profiles too?' if they contact me and I'm not interested in one person within the couple.

If they need approval or anything else is up to them. It doesn't matter if it doesn't impinge on what we do together. I genuinely can't see how it would make a difference to me having sex with someone if they were a 'proper' couple or not. The way they define and look after their relationship is up to them."

I guess we haven't crossed that bridge yet... but I can't imagine us asking if a normal couple played separately... whereas we might ask a FB. Having said that, however, I think I agree with you... and I can't really see why we would even ask a FB couple to play separately. The only difference would be if one partner in a FB couple wanted to play we would ask "do you need permission?" and if they said no we'd just roll with that... whereas we would never go with a normal couple without permission. That's the only difference I can imagine us maybe getting tangled in.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

  

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I guess we haven't crossed that bridge yet... but I can't imagine us asking if a normal couple played separately... whereas we might ask a FB. Having said that, however, I think I agree with you... and I can't really see why we would even ask a FB couple to play separately. The only difference would be if one partner in a FB couple wanted to play we would ask "do you need permission?" and if they said no we'd just roll with that... whereas we would never go with a normal couple without permission. That's the only difference I can imagine us maybe getting tangled in."

You see if I am approached by a singles profile I always check if they are in other relationships and if their partner(s) is comfortable with us talking. I just assumed everyone did that.

I basically treat everyone as if they are potential singles. But it seems to go just fine as long as I'm polite about it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic

0.0624

0