FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Singles Swinging - Vanilla Sex on the 'normal' bar and club scene
Singles Swinging - Vanilla Sex on the 'normal' bar and club scene
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say that club/bar scene sex is more risky.
You have no chance of really knowing the person and sex through drink is prob more likely to end in unprotected sex"
Snap- would never try to pull in a pub these days- at least with the swinger scene I have some reassurance that the person doesn't need to look at me through beer goggles to find me attractive- or to find safe sex the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't go to vanilla bars or pubs with the intention to pull.
I would go to a pub with the intention to have a couple of pints and a bite to eat.
I go to swingers clubs with the intention to play with like-minded people!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I live right in the centre of a city, so do pop down to the wine bars now and then. It's not representative of the majority to suggest those over 25 just get d*unk or under the influence. Most drink responsibly, the scene is very promiscuous though. The safe sex message seems to be followed just as much as on here. Women are more and more forward.
The lines between the vanilla scene and single swinging seem to be blurring. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being a happily single father, currently not wanting 24/7. I do manage to enjoy vanilla and "scene" fun and one noticeable difference is you don't get so much of the "can I see you again" pressure with "scene" meets.
Repeat meets are great, we all have our regulars here, but with vanilla meets there is much more hassle explaining your not looking for a relationship. |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"I don't go to vanilla bars or pubs with the intention to pull.
I would go to a pub with the intention to have a couple of pints and a bite to eat.
I go to swingers clubs with the intention to play with like-minded people! "
Spot on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The main difference for me is I have no trouble pulling in the swinging world, but in the vanilla world, no success at all. I don't understand it, but its a fact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The main difference for me is I have no trouble pulling in the swinging world, but in the vanilla world, no success at all. I don't understand it, but its a fact. "
Likewise! The face pic I have in my private gallery I have on full view on vanilla sites with a toned down version of my profile here. The men that contact me only want pen pals, are carrying more baggage than the carousel at Terminal 5, social misfits and basically not for me!
On sites like this I meet confident, intelligent uber sexy men eager to do anything to please me. I also socialise with them have loads of fun without the hassle of a relationship and can have several playmates without jealousy!
A fantastic way to have your cake and eat it!  |
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"Are there many differences?"
Nope.
Both are just adults enjoying casual recreational sex.
The only difference I can think of is the need some people on here have to seperate themselves from the bar scene as if they are somehow 'better' than those people. |
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"I live right in the centre of a city, so do pop down to the wine bars now and then. It's not representative of the majority to suggest those over 25 just get d*unk or under the influence. Most drink responsibly, the scene is very promiscuous though. The safe sex message seems to be followed just as much as on here. Women are more and more forward.
The lines between the vanilla scene and single swinging seem to be blurring. "
The blurring is down to the drink.... people seem to forget that plenty of people at swinging parties, clubs and meets also neck few. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find (carole) when im out with my friends i hate being chatted up. Almost to the point of wanting to run. 
Yet when in a swingers club i more relaxed and enjoy the attention. We know what we'r there for. And are all happy to play by the rules of no means no!. Im a bar and you say no thanks. Your lucky if your left standing.....  |
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ok heres a question how many fights do you get at a swingers venue? fuelled by drink or not, far less than in a so called vanilla environment.
also people are usually of a more mature age group than in a pub full of under age kids
so everyone will be more relaxed at the swingers venue
not sure if that fits in with the topic,
but maybe food for thought |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are there many differences?
Nope.
Both are just adults enjoying casual recreational sex.
The only difference I can think of is the need some people on here have to seperate themselves from the bar scene as if they are somehow 'better' than those people."
I'm inclined to agree with you |
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"ok heres a question how many fights do you get at a swingers venue? fuelled by drink or not, far less than in a so called vanilla environment.
also people are usually of a more mature age group than in a pub full of under age kids
so everyone will be more relaxed at the swingers venue
not sure if that fits in with the topic,
but maybe food for thought"
May be that's because they don't (I would hope) have under age kids at swingers parties.... but then again there are plenty of pubs which don't allow under age kids in.
But still you are just talking about the surroundings... the outcome is still the same.... two singles bumping bones. |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
It's easier to have a conversation in a swinging situation - without music blaring there's a better chance of such personality as I have overcoming the looks that I don't and getting me laid.
Plus "get your coat, you've pulled, and can you bring your mate as well" is too longwinded... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The main difference for me is I have no trouble pulling in the swinging world, but in the vanilla world, no success at all. I don't understand it, but its a fact. "
Probably because women are in the minority on this scene. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The main difference for me is I have no trouble pulling in the swinging world, but in the vanilla world, no success at all. I don't understand it, but its a fact.
Likewise! The face pic I have in my private gallery I have on full view on vanilla sites with a toned down version of my profile here. The men that contact me only want pen pals, are carrying more baggage than the carousel at Terminal 5, social misfits and basically not for me!
On sites like this I meet confident, intelligent uber sexy men eager to do anything to please me. I also socialise with them have loads of fun without the hassle of a relationship and can have several playmates without jealousy!
A fantastic way to have your cake and eat it! "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there many differences?"
not really no, im single and i only meet single men, i dont see any difference in me meeting a guy off here for sex or pulling a guy in a pub, its both one on one sex between a man and a woman and i dont see that as swinging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The main difference for me is I have no trouble pulling in the swinging world, but in the vanilla world, no success at all. I don't understand it, but its a fact.
Probably because women are in the minority on this scene. "
Yup, I guess you poor guys have to just take whats available. Good job we all look the same in the dark hey?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The main difference for me is I have no trouble pulling in the swinging world, but in the vanilla world, no success at all. I don't understand it, but its a fact. "
Kate's a proper flirt and could pull at a wake I'm a bit more reserved, lol, but feel at ease at a swingers club.
I couldn't, wouldn't try to pull at a pub, my marriage aside, mainly for fear of rejection  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The main difference for me is I have no trouble pulling in the swinging world, but in the vanilla world, no success at all. I don't understand it, but its a fact.
Probably because women are in the minority on this scene. Yup, I guess you poor guys have to just take whats available. Good job we all look the same in the dark hey? "
i dont think its the amount of women that makes the difference, tho some guys will shag anything not all will
i think its because you have more confidance on here
Im the same i find it easier on here than in the 'real world' mainly because everyone in swinging is after the same thing, sex, ok people go about it different some want friendship some dont etc but the main goal of us all is sex we wouldnt be on a swingers site other wise, where as people of the opposit sex could just be being friendly and chatting in a pub so im not so forwards in fear of offending lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ok heres a question how many fights do you get at a swingers venue? fuelled by drink or not, far less than in a so called vanilla environment.
also people are usually of a more mature age group than in a pub full of under age kids
so everyone will be more relaxed at the swingers venue
not sure if that fits in with the topic,
but maybe food for thought"
you drink in pubs that serve underage kids?
the bars we use in newcastle are very cosmopolitan and you dont find underage kids as you say in them.
cant say the same for the fighting and underage kids in benidorm tho ..but then again we would never go on the basis you have to be over 60 or under 19 to enjoy the place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The main difference for me is I have no trouble pulling in the swinging world, but in the vanilla world, no success at all. I don't understand it, but its a fact.
Probably because women are in the minority on this scene. Yup, I guess you poor guys have to just take whats available. Good job we all look the same in the dark hey? "
If I simply wanted to have plain old sex I'd previously just go out to a "normal" bar or club, you get dozens of offers in my experience. It's not just the ratio, it's also the fact that more women are looking subconsciously for potential long term partners than men. A lot view sex as part of a compatibility test as well as a fun time to be had. I'd make sure I stated that I wasn't after a relationship though from the start to avoid potential awkwardness later on.
However, I do tend to prefer swinging clubs for the fact that everyone is more open and relaxed with each other from the start, there's less nobheads kicking about and it's more likely you'll encounter someone who likes their fun a little kinky... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The main difference for me is I have no trouble pulling in the swinging world, but in the vanilla world, no success at all. I don't understand it, but its a fact.
Probably because women are in the minority on this scene. Yup, I guess you poor guys have to just take whats available. Good job we all look the same in the dark hey? "
I'm not sure what you mean, it sounds a little condescending but I'm not certain that's your intention. I certainly would never 'just take what's available' and I'm confident most fit into that bracket (male or female). I assure you I did not mean any disrespect by stating that women are in the minority on this scene.
Both scenes have slight advantages and disadvantages but I'm struggling to find significant differences. People drink on both scenes but the overwhelming majority drink responsibly. If you practice safe sex then you practice safe sex wherever you are, I've seen no difference here. Most city centre wine bars that attract a mature crowd are not drowned out by loud music and can be very 'classy' places. The attitude is certainly not 'prudish' out there.
I think a fair number of people intermingle between the two scenes and this will only increase as the facebook generation ventures into swinging.
The key differences for me centre around 'couples'. Maybe as other threads have suggested in the past the term 'swinging' can only refer to couples, maybe?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love to flirt and can pull anywhere even more since swinging its all about confidence. But saying that am fed up of vanilla pubs and clubs its a very expensive night drinks entrace taxis a bunch of foreign twats learring at you and pawing over you that dont speak the language do my head in. And as a single girl I can get in to chams for a fiver so bargain and great nights to boot. Intelligent conversations great atmosphere I feel safe and secure and I feel in control what more could a girl ask for. |
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No we dont drink in pubs that serves underaged kids , the laws here in Spain are way more strict than the U.K. laws.
(another one of the many reasons to live here )
Shame you have never been on the say-so of others, you would then be able to make up your own minds , why for eg a good few x-pats chooseing to live out here, if its so bad for the fighting ???
anyway back to the topic, guess theres not a lot of difference in the over all picture but we certainly find chatting to like minded people easier as we have a common interest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love to flirt and can pull anywhere even more since swinging its all about confidence. But saying that am fed up of vanilla pubs and clubs its a very expensive night drinks entrace taxis a bunch of foreign twats learring at you and pawing over you that dont speak the language do my head in. And as a single girl I can get in to chams for a fiver so bargain and great nights to boot. Intelligent conversations great atmosphere I feel safe and secure and I feel in control what more could a girl ask for."
A couple of years back I got myself into soapy on another place for suggesting that some folks see swinging as a cheap night out.
A few bottles of whatever and a taxi ride home as opposed to dinner for two or a two cinema tickets (+ popcorn etc) with the a virtual guarantee of a shag or two during the evening? Plus a much more adult attitude to such matters as safe sex? Who could resist? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But it is a cheap night out for a single girl plus I am bored with town and its very expensive been clubbing (vanilla) since I was 14/15. And Peterborough is shit. |
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"But it is a cheap night out for a single girl plus I am bored with town and its very expensive been clubbing (vanilla) since I was 14/15. And Peterborough is shit."
You say about how much it costs for a night out in town and mention taxi fares.... how much does it cost to get to and from Chams from Peterborough? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Normally there is 3 or four of us in the car and we split petrol costs get a case of beer and split cost of entrance when I go as a couple and for me its still cheaper to go chams then go clubbing in town |
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"Normally there is 3 or four of us in the car and we split petrol costs get a case of beer and split cost of entrance when I go as a couple and for me its still cheaper to go chams then go clubbing in town"
Ahhhh so the statement of "And as a single girl I can get in to chams for a fiver so bargain" really means if you don't go as a single gal and split the cost with other people. |
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Very interesting thread this..
Speaking as the male half of the couple, and being a few years out the game of 'pulling' in the vanilla world, I would still have to agree that women seem to be more forward and open these days, and that in turn makes them more amenable to the idea of just meeting someone for sex.
I would say the difference is if a single guy were looking for a female partner in the swinging scene he may appear more confident, as he knows that the female is generally there for the same reason. In the vanilla world he still may still have to sidestep the issue for a while until he is sure he is not misreading the signals. Confidence is attractive right?
As for most people drinking in moderation, this is mainly true.. though maybe it's because you do frequent the classier establishments! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Very interesting thread this..
Speaking as the male half of the couple, and being a few years out the game of 'pulling' in the vanilla world, I would still have to agree that women seem to be more forward and open these days, and that in turn makes them more amenable to the idea of just meeting someone for sex.
I would say the difference is if a single guy were looking for a female partner in the swinging scene he may appear more confident, as he knows that the female is generally there for the same reason. In the vanilla world he still may still have to sidestep the issue for a while until he is sure he is not misreading the signals. Confidence is attractive right?
As for most people drinking in moderation, this is mainly true.. though maybe it's because you do frequent the classier establishments!"
That just about sums it up. Women are more confident and forward whatever the scene. That's a good thing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when i was younger pulling was a nightmare as my 1st sexual exprience was shit and i was scared to know what it was like and to ask more questions.
speaking a few years on i now know what i like and how i like it and i am confident and im not afraid of saying " not this way but try this"
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"Very interesting thread this..
Speaking as the male half of the couple, and being a few years out the game of 'pulling' in the vanilla world, I would still have to agree that women seem to be more forward and open these days, and that in turn makes them more amenable to the idea of just meeting someone for sex.
I would say the difference is if a single guy were looking for a female partner in the swinging scene he may appear more confident, as he knows that the female is generally there for the same reason. In the vanilla world he still may still have to sidestep the issue for a while until he is sure he is not misreading the signals. Confidence is attractive right?
As for most people drinking in moderation, this is mainly true.. though maybe it's because you do frequent the classier establishments!
That just about sums it up. Women are more confident and forward whatever the scene. That's a good thing!"
Of course they are, they always have the upper hand. |
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If i go to the pub here i go with friends, male and female. Its a very small town and if i was to leave with someone id pulled everyone would know about it before i even did the business. Plus they all know i have a boyfriend and I just couldnt be bothered to explain. |
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