FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Age as an issue...
Age as an issue...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So recently had a couple of discussions with some gorgeous ladies and the stumbling block has been age. Usually me being to young by one or two years. 
Now i appreciate everyone has their preferences (which is reassuring that not going with anything and everything). However what is it about age that puts people off? Especially if there is a very small difference between what is 'acceptable' and what is 'being offered'?
To clarify... Not complaining at all, every one has to have a reason to say yes or no. Reason for asking is that its just opposite to my mind set. I dont really have an age range per se and would judge it on the person (personality, attraction and looks) rather than age. So wanted to hear some _iews to consider the other side of the coin...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So recently had a couple of discussions with some gorgeous ladies and the stumbling block has been age. Usually me being to young by one or two years.
Now i appreciate everyone has their preferences (which is reassuring that not going with anything and everything). However what is it about age that puts people off? Especially if there is a very small difference between what is 'acceptable' and what is 'being offered'?
To clarify... Not complaining at all, every one has to have a reason to say yes or no. Reason for asking is that its just opposite to my mind set. I dont really have an age range per se and would judge it on the person (personality, attraction and looks) rather than age. So wanted to hear some _iews to consider the other side of the coin... "
if its not age it will be something else. people have no end of reasons not to meet  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So recently had a couple of discussions with some gorgeous ladies and the stumbling block has been age. Usually me being to young by one or two years.
Now i appreciate everyone has their preferences (which is reassuring that not going with anything and everything). However what is it about age that puts people off? Especially if there is a very small difference between what is 'acceptable' and what is 'being offered'?
To clarify... Not complaining at all, every one has to have a reason to say yes or no. Reason for asking is that its just opposite to my mind set. I dont really have an age range per se and would judge it on the person (personality, attraction and looks) rather than age. So wanted to hear some _iews to consider the other side of the coin...
if its not age it will be something else. people have no end of reasons not to meet "
I understand and actually acknowledged that in the original post. As i said it was a complaint just wondering why people put an age limit (sometimes very specific)... |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"So recently had a couple of discussions with some gorgeous ladies and the stumbling block has been age. Usually me being to young by one or two years.
Now i appreciate everyone has their preferences (which is reassuring that not going with anything and everything). However what is it about age that puts people off? Especially if there is a very small difference between what is 'acceptable' and what is 'being offered'?
To clarify... Not complaining at all, every one has to have a reason to say yes or no. Reason for asking is that its just opposite to my mind set. I dont really have an age range per se and would judge it on the person (personality, attraction and looks) rather than age. So wanted to hear some _iews to consider the other side of the coin...
if its not age it will be something else. people have no end of reasons not to meet
I understand and actually acknowledged that in the original post. As i said it was a complaint just wondering why people put an age limit (sometimes very specific)... "
Because by putting specific criteria it eliminates those they feel they're never going to be interested in. It's way easier than putting 18-99 and then having to say no to far more people and deal with increased message volumes.
People have preferences. Age is one of them.
If you've been chatting to them you're obviously not filtered out - so maybe the age excuse is just that?
One thing I'll say. I've yet to go to a club or social where anyone is wearing an 'age badge' and it's not usually a question that is asked either. Face to face it's often hard to accurately assess age. Online? It's an essential tool that helps people make decisions.
A |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
Yet your own profile has 18 - 40?
I have found through experience that I prefer older men, so would only really consider a couple of years younger, but over 20 years older - just what appeals to me...
I find a few years can make a lot of difference - and as we ladies are in the fortunate position of having quite a range of choice on here, I go for what works for me, rather than suiting anyone else. This is my additional fun. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So recently had a couple of discussions with some gorgeous ladies and the stumbling block has been age. Usually me being to young by one or two years.
Now i appreciate everyone has their preferences (which is reassuring that not going with anything and everything). However what is it about age that puts people off? Especially if there is a very small difference between what is 'acceptable' and what is 'being offered'?
To clarify... Not complaining at all, every one has to have a reason to say yes or no. Reason for asking is that its just opposite to my mind set. I dont really have an age range per se and would judge it on the person (personality, attraction and looks) rather than age. So wanted to hear some _iews to consider the other side of the coin...
if its not age it will be something else. people have no end of reasons not to meet
I understand and actually acknowledged that in the original post. As i said it was a complaint just wondering why people put an age limit (sometimes very specific)...
Because by putting specific criteria it eliminates those they feel they're never going to be interested in. It's way easier than putting 18-99 and then having to say no to far more people and deal with increased message volumes.
People have preferences. Age is one of them.
If you've been chatting to them you're obviously not filtered out - so maybe the age excuse is just that?
One thing I'll say. I've yet to go to a club or social where anyone is wearing an 'age badge' and it's not usually a question that is asked either. Face to face it's often hard to accurately assess age. Online? It's an essential tool that helps people make decisions.
A"
Fair point something to take into consideration. Hope the time off is going well |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yet your own profile has 18 - 40?
I have found through experience that I prefer older men, so would only really consider a couple of years younger, but over 20 years older - just what appeals to me...
I find a few years can make a lot of difference - and as we ladies are in the fortunate position of having quite a range of choice on here, I go for what works for me, rather than suiting anyone else. This is my additional fun."
You're right it does but ladies outside that age range aren't prevented from contacting me.
For a single bloke you feel like are 'pushing water up hill' on here and constantly fighting the preconceptions. I feel we are more heavily judged than any other group on here (sometimes rightly so given the arseholes you hear about) and by having a 18-99 age range can add to those misformed preconceptions... |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I would not contact someone if I was outwith their age range, whether the site prevents it or not.
I find it rude to ignore peoples wishes and preferences. |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"I would not contact someone if I was outwith their age range, whether the site prevents it or not.
I find it rude to ignore peoples wishes and preferences."
That's probably right - but sometimes it would be nice to tell someone that you find them beautiful, or they have a lovely body, or that their photographs are great, without any ulterior motives - even if you are outside their age group. But then I love compliments and so it may be too easy for me to assume others do too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would not contact someone if I was outwith their age range, whether the site prevents it or not.
I find it rude to ignore peoples wishes and preferences.
That's probably right - but sometimes it would be nice to tell someone that you find them beautiful, or they have a lovely body, or that their photographs are great, without any ulterior motives - even if you are outside their age group. But then I love compliments and so it may be too easy for me to assume others do too "
And actually thats exactly what started the discussions with the ladies. It was a response from a forum thread paying them a compliment nothing more...
Instead of asking them directly (which is rude and again adds to preconceptions of blokes not taking no for an answer) i thought I'd raise my head in here and get it shot off instead |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We both prefer younger, though not averse to older, we've found though that under 30s tend to be difficult to pin down for an actual meet. Whatever the reason it seems to always end with a meet that gets cancelled for one reason or another. May be that they don't like the face pics and don't want to hurt our feelings by saying so (they won't be hurt, we'll live, seriously we don't pin all our dreams on someone saying they like us) or what.
So we tend to switch our age range about, going down to 18 and then when we get another difficult to pin down, we up it to 30 again. On the whole though we take each as a new thing, recently seen a very beautiful 51 year old and our age limit at the time was 50 so we upped it to 51 haha. |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"We both prefer younger, though not averse to older, we've found though that under 30s tend to be difficult to pin down for an actual meet. Whatever the reason it seems to always end with a meet that gets cancelled for one reason or another. May be that they don't like the face pics and don't want to hurt our feelings by saying so (they won't be hurt, we'll live, seriously we don't pin all our dreams on someone saying they like us) or what.
So we tend to switch our age range about, going down to 18 and then when we get another difficult to pin down, we up it to 30 again. On the whole though we take each as a new thing, recently seen a very beautiful 51 year old and our age limit at the time was 50 so we upped it to 51 haha."
We generally only play in clubs and so have access to, and enjoy, the full age range. It's always better than arranging meets (for us) because we can see what we are getting and there is never the disappointment of a no show or the embarrassment of having to make excuses because your meet doesn't match expectations in the flesh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have age preferences on my profile and the reason is cus i don't want to meet people close in age or younger than my children nor do i was to meet people close to my parents age or older.
However i do allow some leeway if everything eles is good  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's interesting to see how some people think it rude to message someone outside their age range despite not having it set to only.
Personally I think what has anyone got to lose? They don't have to respond.
Other people have shown why it's perfectly acceptable to do this, stating they change their age range if they spot someone they fancy.
Lesson in life here, live by your own rules just don't expect others to follow the same rules. |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
I've age limits on my profile they're not prohibitive , having said that I get a small amount of mail so anyone outside the preferences would make little difference to the volume of mail I receive. For some ladies it might make a massive difference.
You say one or two years ... If you raise or lower by a couple where do you stop... Just another couple ..??
it's one of the reasons I think folk should have interesting informative profiles so if anyone is searching and they come across (my) or another profile that might be outside their age preferences they might be interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't judge anybody on their age I do however judge me on peoples age, if they are of an age that would make me feel uncomfortable I won't meet even if they tell me they like older women that's not going to make me feel more comfortable about it |
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