FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > How rude some full swap couples are..
How rude some full swap couples are..
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"Don't let them get to you op there is a lot of people who can't take rejection very well so blow steam and say horrible things . We wouldn't dream of being nasty just coz we couldn't go all the way " Thanks guys, as we said its not all couples but a fair few so far.. Sometimes it's the assumption that even if we was a full swap couple that we'd have sex with them anyway is bad enough.. It's a real dated keys in a bowl attitude to have x | |||
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"We've noticed (not exclusively) that most full swap couples will lavish us with messages, pictures and swan around in clubs buying drinks, talking, laughing and being super nice etc etc... Until they find out we are not a full swap couple, we actually had one guy say these exact words when he found out "oh really, well I'm off to find someone worth talking too"... Followed by a comment saying "he's got the hump because he wanted to put his cock in you"... Firstly, why do some people on the scene insist on being so crass, where are the classy folk gone, secondly why because you can't fuck or be fucked by us do we get set aside like trash? We love being around people, having sex in group situations and indulging in amazing parties, is that not enough to be accepted!! "Just enjoy yourselves as you like to do. State what you like and if they don't like it then move on. | |||
"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. "  | |||
"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. " | |||
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"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. " Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! | |||
"Sorry to hear that, you could try and take it as a back handed complement but it might take a bit of mental gymnastics! As you say, even if you were a full swap couple, it doesn't mean you will full swap with anyone and everyone. Just keep on doing what you guys are comfortable with and ignore the people who aren't happy to accept you the way you are. You're a great looking couple so I'm sure your find plenty of people who would be more than happy to soft swap with you "Thank you,  | |||
"We've noticed (not exclusively) that most full swap couples will lavish us with messages, pictures and swan around in clubs buying drinks, talking, laughing and being super nice etc etc... Until they find out we are not a full swap couple, we actually had one guy say these exact words when he found out "oh really, well I'm off to find someone worth talking too"... Followed by a comment saying "he's got the hump because he wanted to put his cock in you"... Firstly, why do some people on the scene insist on being so crass, where are the classy folk gone, secondly why because you can't fuck or be fucked by us do we get set aside like trash? We love being around people, having sex in group situations and indulging in amazing parties, is that not enough to be accepted!! "Is that not discussed before you meet? Or is just at clubs/parties where you get to know them? | |||
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"We've noticed (not exclusively) that most full swap couples will lavish us with messages, pictures and swan around in clubs buying drinks, talking, laughing and being super nice etc etc... Until they find out we are not a full swap couple, we actually had one guy say these exact words when he found out "oh really, well I'm off to find someone worth talking too"... Followed by a comment saying "he's got the hump because he wanted to put his cock in you"... Firstly, why do some people on the scene insist on being so crass, where are the classy folk gone, secondly why because you can't fuck or be fucked by us do we get set aside like trash? We love being around people, having sex in group situations and indulging in amazing parties, is that not enough to be accepted!!
Is that not discussed before you meet? Or is just at clubs/parties where you get to know them?"It varies, the incident mentioned was at a club where unfortunately you don't walk around with you bio attached to your forehead lol.., And on here, couples will send a message being really complementary, let's meet up and so on.. A few messages later with the "soft swap" comment and bang ... Not even a reply | |||
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"Sorry to hear that, you could try and take it as a back handed complement but it might take a bit of mental gymnastics! As you say, even if you were a full swap couple, it doesn't mean you will full swap with anyone and everyone. Just keep on doing what you guys are comfortable with and ignore the people who aren't happy to accept you the way you are. You're a great looking couple so I'm sure your find plenty of people who would be more than happy to soft swap with you "This!! | |||
" The OP has soft swing in the Interests section, is that not enough? Should it be in bold flashing font?" And the winner is | |||
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"We've noticed (not exclusively) that most full swap couples will lavish us with messages, pictures and swan around in clubs buying drinks, talking, laughing and being super nice etc etc... Until they find out we are not a full swap couple, we actually had one guy say these exact words when he found out "oh really, well I'm off to find someone worth talking too"... Followed by a comment saying "he's got the hump because he wanted to put his cock in you"... Firstly, why do some people on the scene insist on being so crass, where are the classy folk gone, secondly why because you can't fuck or be fucked by us do we get set aside like trash? We love being around people, having sex in group situations and indulging in amazing parties, is that not enough to be accepted!! "On the positive side, don't you feel better that you found out what an idiot the guy was without having sex with him. I mean wouldn't it have been a lot worse if you were chatting to him after and realised what an ass he is... Whenever someone is rude I just think "well thanks for confirming we made the right decision / dodged a bullet there" | |||
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"Welcome to the hierarchy of the swinging world. Always someone who will dislike others for one thing or another."  | |||
"why is having full sex ever something that people think will happen. We have had loads of swaps with couples at clubs where that just hasn't happened... And those that Don't normally make it clear and tthere is still So much fun to be had x " | |||
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" The OP has soft swing in the Interests section, is that not enough? Should it be in bold flashing font?" it also states group sex in their intrests which is why some may get confused,and some cples have full swap and soft swing in their intrests, we state on our profile soft swing and we do not swap. but I do understand where op is cumming from as we are soft swing only, its ok on site as others read your profile and decide to contact or not, but when your at a club we don't walk around with signs on us stating what we like so its trial and error by chat ect to find out others intrests, but no need to be rude when you find out you are not offering what others want | |||
"We like full swap but if someone we liked wanted soft then that's cool with us " That's our take on it too | |||
"There's no excuse for the rudeness you've described, op. I must say, though, I can see why some people on Fab might assume you're a full swap couple. The only clue that you're not is the absence of the full swap options in the interests section. You do have soft swap there, but so do many full swappers (like us). You also have DP listed, which I think most would assume is a full swap activity." Good point , DP is pretty damn difficult on a soft swap session ! | |||
"Welcome to the hierarchy of the swinging world. Always someone who will dislike others for one thing or another."  | |||
"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! " Am I misreading this? You dont tell people that you are soft swap as you don;t want to be bookmarked but are then surprised some people take exception when they find oit? Not justifying their behaviour but equally they may feel led on. WE have encountered very few rude people in the time we've been swinging and when anyone says it's a frequent occurrence, the cynic in me wonders of they are somehow provoking it | |||
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"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! " Some excellent posts pretty4kitty We see it in very much the same way. This isn't the shopping channel... Swinging should be all about real people, exploring their sexual fantasies with others in a no pressure environment where whatever happens is seen as a bonus... even if its just showing yer ankles
oh and btw... you guys look super sexy so even sharing a bowl of porridge with you would be a treat | |||
"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! Am I misreading this? You dont tell people that you are soft swap as you don;t want to be bookmarked but are then surprised some people take exception when they find oit? Not justifying their behaviour but equally they may feel led on. WE have encountered very few rude people in the time we've been swinging and when anyone says it's a frequent occurrence, the cynic in me wonders of they are somehow provoking it" Well the cynic in you should maybe read our veris of the people who enjoyed spending time with us despite our preference.. The only thing we provoke is fun, stop me if I'm wrong but I thought that was key!! As for leading people on..maybe it's the cynic in me but That argument is as just as saying women deserve to be attacked by sexual predators because they wear short skirts and Low cut tops, thus leading them on. Just a thought | |||
"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! Some excellent posts pretty4kitty We see it in very much the same way. This isn't the shopping channel... Swinging should be all about real people, exploring their sexual fantasies with others in a no pressure environment where whatever happens is seen as a bonus... even if its just showing yer ankles
oh and btw... you guys look super sexy so even sharing a bowl of porridge with you would be a treat "Thanks guys, real positive feedback xxx | |||
specially the ladies | |||
"There's no excuse for the rudeness you've described, op. I must say, though, I can see why some people on Fab might assume you're a full swap couple. The only clue that you're not is the absence of the full swap options in the interests section. You do have soft swap there, but so do many full swappers (like us). You also have DP listed, which I think most would assume is a full swap activity. Good point , DP is pretty damn difficult on a soft swap session ! " Unless there is a girl with a strap on!! Sorry We didn't realise it was all about specifics.. | |||
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"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! Some excellent posts pretty4kitty We see it in very much the same way. This isn't the shopping channel... Swinging should be all about real people, exploring their sexual fantasies with others in a no pressure environment where whatever happens is seen as a bonus... even if its just showing yer ankles
oh and btw... you guys look super sexy so even sharing a bowl of porridge with you would be a treat
Thanks guys, real positive feedback xxx "Positive feedback , or words which make you feel good ? There have been some very valid points made which may explain why you guys are getting the unwanted attention . These can help , but if it's attention from those who wish to big you up , carry on as you are | |||
"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! Am I misreading this? You dont tell people that you are soft swap as you don;t want to be bookmarked but are then surprised some people take exception when they find oit? Not justifying their behaviour but equally they may feel led on. WE have encountered very few rude people in the time we've been swinging and when anyone says it's a frequent occurrence, the cynic in me wonders of they are somehow provoking it Well the cynic in you should maybe read our veris of the people who enjoyed spending time with us despite our preference.. The only thing we provoke is fun, stop me if I'm wrong but I thought that was key!! As for leading people on..maybe it's the cynic in me but That argument is as just as saying women deserve to be attacked by sexual predators because they wear short skirts and Low cut tops, thus leading them on. Just a thought " I'm not sure how suggestiung people may feel led on when (as several others have highlighted) you have a misleading profile and when by your own admission you don't tell people your preferences in order that they continue talking to you can be in anyway compared to victim blaming of women that are victims of sex crimes 
If you aren't straight with people it may well piss them off. Some may even call it timewasting. I repeat this doesn;t justify rudeness but may explain their annoyance | |||
"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! Some excellent posts pretty4kitty We see it in very much the same way. This isn't the shopping channel... Swinging should be all about real people, exploring their sexual fantasies with others in a no pressure environment where whatever happens is seen as a bonus... even if its just showing yer ankles
oh and btw... you guys look super sexy so even sharing a bowl of porridge with you would be a treat
Thanks guys, real positive feedback xxx
Positive feedback , or words which make you feel good ?
There have been some very valid points made which may explain why you guys are getting the unwanted attention . These can help , but if it's attention from those who wish to big you up , carry on as you are " | |||
"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! Am I misreading this? You dont tell people that you are soft swap as you don;t want to be bookmarked but are then surprised some people take exception when they find oit? Not justifying their behaviour but equally they may feel led on. WE have encountered very few rude people in the time we've been swinging and when anyone says it's a frequent occurrence, the cynic in me wonders of they are somehow provoking it Well the cynic in you should maybe read our veris of the people who enjoyed spending time with us despite our preference.. The only thing we provoke is fun, stop me if I'm wrong but I thought that was key!! As for leading people on..maybe it's the cynic in me but That argument is as just as saying women deserve to be attacked by sexual predators because they wear short skirts and Low cut tops, thus leading them on. Just a thought " Given the example happened in a club and those people presumably weren't reading your fab profile whilst talking to you in a club, then it doesn't make a bit of difference what was on your profile! | |||
"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! Am I misreading this? You dont tell people that you are soft swap as you don;t want to be bookmarked but are then surprised some people take exception when they find oit? Not justifying their behaviour but equally they may feel led on. WE have encountered very few rude people in the time we've been swinging and when anyone says it's a frequent occurrence, the cynic in me wonders of they are somehow provoking it Well the cynic in you should maybe read our veris of the people who enjoyed spending time with us despite our preference.. The only thing we provoke is fun, stop me if I'm wrong but I thought that was key!! As for leading people on..maybe it's the cynic in me but That argument is as just as saying women deserve to be attacked by sexual predators because they wear short skirts and Low cut tops, thus leading them on. Just a thought Given the example happened in a club and those people presumably weren't reading your fab profile whilst talking to you in a club, then it doesn't make a bit of difference what was on your profile! " Precisely!! | |||
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"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! Some excellent posts pretty4kitty We see it in very much the same way. This isn't the shopping channel... Swinging should be all about real people, exploring their sexual fantasies with others in a no pressure environment where whatever happens is seen as a bonus... even if its just showing yer ankles
oh and btw... you guys look super sexy so even sharing a bowl of porridge with you would be a treat
Thanks guys, real positive feedback xxx
Positive feedback , or words which make you feel good ?
There have been some very valid points made which may explain why you guys are getting the unwanted attention . These can help , but if it's attention from those who wish to big you up , carry on as you are "It's ok, we don't feel the need to be "bigged up" we are pretty confident thanks.. It's a genuine concern of ours and despite your assumptions of our need to discuss in the forum we do like to hear positive things from accepting couples.. Feel free to continue to try and score points with unwitty digs, I'm sure the attention is very much required. | |||
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"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! Some excellent posts pretty4kitty We see it in very much the same way. This isn't the shopping channel... Swinging should be all about real people, exploring their sexual fantasies with others in a no pressure environment where whatever happens is seen as a bonus... even if its just showing yer ankles
oh and btw... you guys look super sexy so even sharing a bowl of porridge with you would be a treat
Thanks guys, real positive feedback xxx
Positive feedback , or words which make you feel good ?
There have been some very valid points made which may explain why you guys are getting the unwanted attention . These can help , but if it's attention from those who wish to big you up , carry on as you are
It's ok, we don't feel the need to be "bigged up" we are pretty confident thanks.. It's a genuine concern of ours and despite your assumptions of our need to discuss in the forum we do like to hear positive things from accepting couples.. Feel free to continue to try and score points with unwitty digs, I'm sure the attention is very much required. "Far from it , we are very happy as we are , and feel no need to try and score points . It makes absolutely no difference to us whether you court unwanted attention or not , enjoy | |||
"I believe in any club I have been to that at no point was I told that I must have sex while there with other people... So for someone to expect full swap then jump down at someone and dismiss them as a waste of time just Because they wouldn't have full sex to me screams someone with an attitude that how dare people at a club not have sex... " That seem to be the general regime that most seem to follow, maybe we need to set up a new, non pressure scene.. Or just update the 1980 keys in a bowl attitude that still lingers.. | |||
"we dont like the rudeness off anybody - we used to chat to a couple - messages all lovely and close to arranging a meet - chatting in the chatroom one weekend - their fem couldnt get away for whatever reason and he replied with a shame i could have just shagged sue then - - plus a few other choice phrases - W replied with a nobody just shags me and we blocked - " That's just shocking.. | |||
"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! Some excellent posts pretty4kitty We see it in very much the same way. This isn't the shopping channel... Swinging should be all about real people, exploring their sexual fantasies with others in a no pressure environment where whatever happens is seen as a bonus... even if its just showing yer ankles
oh and btw... you guys look super sexy so even sharing a bowl of porridge with you would be a treat
Thanks guys, real positive feedback xxx
Positive feedback , or words which make you feel good ?
There have been some very valid points made which may explain why you guys are getting the unwanted attention . These can help , but if it's attention from those who wish to big you up , carry on as you are
It's ok, we don't feel the need to be "bigged up" we are pretty confident thanks.. It's a genuine concern of ours and despite your assumptions of our need to discuss in the forum we do like to hear positive things from accepting couples.. Feel free to continue to try and score points with unwitty digs, I'm sure the attention is very much required.
Far from it , we are very happy as we are , and feel no need to try and score points . It makes absolutely no difference to us whether you court unwanted attention or not , enjoy "It's not unwanted attention, it's unnecessary rudeness and ignorance.. Maybe re-read the thread properly!! | |||
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"I don't want to get caught in the cross fire here... but basically I think that the swinging community should be a no pressure community... if most people's experience is that it is no pressure then obviously something's going wrong for this couple. On top of that I agree that there is no need to categorise where you're at with the whole no swap/soft swap/full swap thing. Obviously you need to give people some idea of where you're at when you talk with them.. and to see where they're at too... but you don't need to wear it as a badge... after all... you never know... you might be a full swap but not really in the mood for it with a certain couple... or you might be a soft swap and decide what the heck and let things go further with another couple. I just wonder if people are reading too much into these assertions from this couple. They seem to be reasonable points to me. Of course, not knowing the couple, there may be more to the story, they may be polluting their own waters... but I'm happy to give them the benefit of the doubt at this point "I agree with you. It's an interesting question. Surely people should talk about what they do and don't want. Some people are inferring it's the OP that should say they soft swap. But actually people shouldn't just assume that they full swap. It's like when some expect every woman in a swinging couple to be bi. | |||
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"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! Some excellent posts pretty4kitty We see it in very much the same way. This isn't the shopping channel... Swinging should be all about real people, exploring their sexual fantasies with others in a no pressure environment where whatever happens is seen as a bonus... even if its just showing yer ankles
oh and btw... you guys look super sexy so even sharing a bowl of porridge with you would be a treat
Thanks guys, real positive feedback xxx
Positive feedback , or words which make you feel good ?
There have been some very valid points made which may explain why you guys are getting the unwanted attention . These can help , but if it's attention from those who wish to big you up , carry on as you are
It's ok, we don't feel the need to be "bigged up" we are pretty confident thanks.. It's a genuine concern of ours and despite your assumptions of our need to discuss in the forum we do like to hear positive things from accepting couples.. Feel free to continue to try and score points with unwitty digs, I'm sure the attention is very much required.
Far from it , we are very happy as we are , and feel no need to try and score points . It makes absolutely no difference to us whether you court unwanted attention or not , enjoy
It's not unwanted attention, it's unnecessary rudeness and ignorance.. Maybe re-read the thread properly!! "Just re read your op . You see the attention you get as being fine until they find out you aren't full swap . And then the attention becomes unwanted , and you describe their behaviour as rude , crass and ignorant as they cant enjoy full swap with you . Perhaps if you make your intentions clear from the start , this won't be a reoccurring theme . Have you considered that each and every one of us has preferences ? You have yours , others have theirs , and if you are angry at full swap couples who diss you , be more forward from the off with what you are after . We attended clubs for over three years and never once encountered the behaviour you speak of . We enjoyed soft play , full swap , voyeurism , Infact pretty much everything you could think of , and never once had anyone badmouthing us ., or behaving in the way you speak of . | |||
"I don't want to get caught in the cross fire here... but basically I think that the swinging community should be a no pressure community... if most people's experience is that it is no pressure then obviously something's going wrong for this couple. On top of that I agree that there is no need to categorise where you're at with the whole no swap/soft swap/full swap thing. Obviously you need to give people some idea of where you're at when you talk with them.. and to see where they're at too... but you don't need to wear it as a badge... after all... you never know... you might be a full swap but not really in the mood for it with a certain couple... or you might be a soft swap and decide what the heck and let things go further with another couple. I just wonder if people are reading too much into these assertions from this couple. They seem to be reasonable points to me. Of course, not knowing the couple, there may be more to the story, they may be polluting their own waters... but I'm happy to give them the benefit of the doubt at this point "A fair point , but it totally depends on the scenario . If you hook up with a couple early on , enjoy drinks together and while away a few hours chatting and getting on , then find out the other couple aren't full swap it's a wasted evening . You could blame the full swap couple for not asking earlier , or the soft swap couple for not mentioning their preference . Personally we are happy with either if it's a couple we are attracted to | |||
"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! Some excellent posts pretty4kitty We see it in very much the same way. This isn't the shopping channel... Swinging should be all about real people, exploring their sexual fantasies with others in a no pressure environment where whatever happens is seen as a bonus... even if its just showing yer ankles
oh and btw... you guys look super sexy so even sharing a bowl of porridge with you would be a treat
Thanks guys, real positive feedback xxx
Positive feedback , or words which make you feel good ?
There have been some very valid points made which may explain why you guys are getting the unwanted attention . These can help , but if it's attention from those who wish to big you up , carry on as you are
It's ok, we don't feel the need to be "bigged up" we are pretty confident thanks.. It's a genuine concern of ours and despite your assumptions of our need to discuss in the forum we do like to hear positive things from accepting couples.. Feel free to continue to try and score points with unwitty digs, I'm sure the attention is very much required.
Far from it , we are very happy as we are , and feel no need to try and score points . It makes absolutely no difference to us whether you court unwanted attention or not , enjoy
It's not unwanted attention, it's unnecessary rudeness and ignorance.. Maybe re-read the thread properly!!
Just re read your op .
You see the attention you get as being fine until they find out you aren't full swap . And then the attention becomes unwanted , and you describe their behaviour as rude , crass and ignorant as they cant enjoy full swap with you .
Perhaps if you make your intentions clear from the start , this won't be a reoccurring theme .
Have you considered that each and every one of us has preferences ?
You have yours , others have theirs , and if you are angry at full swap couples who diss you , be more forward from the off with what you are after .
We attended clubs for over three years and never once encountered the behaviour you speak of . We enjoyed soft play , full swap , voyeurism , Infact pretty much everything you could think of , and never once had anyone badmouthing us ., or behaving in the way you speak of .
"Understood.. And with that in mind our future conversation starter will be.. "Hi...We L&J we are soft swap only by label, however on occasion we have pushed boundaries with the right people but at this juncture in the conversation we have no idea who you are but following standard swinging protocol we must stress that you will not fuck/be fucked by us, thus rendering this conversation irrelevant, feel free to just set us aside and not even try to get to know us.. " Can we add we have met some off the nicest people we've ever met on the scene.. And we always endeavour to make everyone feel good wether we have sexual interest in them or not..We just find it distressing to be treated like cattle, but what we've come to realise from this thread is we aren't "swingers" | |||
"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! " Without wanting to sound crass. We are soft swingers, if people don't like it then they can go fuck themselves. Literally.
Joking aside, we as a couple have had very little success in meeting couples in fact a big fat zero on the play side, weather that's the soft swing or Mr fun we don't know?
Jools gets lots of attention and has had plenty of fun.
We don't mind if people don't want to talk to us coz we are soft swingers,but there is no excuse for being rude to us.
We don't make judgment on full swap couples and happily play with them or chat. | |||
"Well on reading the profile it reads like full on. Nothing said about soft swing. Possibly you are sending out a confused message? Just our take. Unfortunately that bookmarks us far too much.. And as a result we'd probably never meet anyone, we like being around a mixture of people no swap/soft swap/full swap and we don't generalise them or make the assumption that we can just bed hop with both of either one of them because of their preferences.. And we only ask the same! Without wanting to sound crass. We are soft swingers, if people don't like it then they can go fuck themselves. Literally.
Joking aside, we as a couple have had very little success in meeting couples in fact a big fat zero on the play side, weather that's the soft swing or Mr fun we don't know?
Jools gets lots of attention and has had plenty of fun.
We don't mind if people don't want to talk to us coz we are soft swingers,but there is no excuse for being rude to us.
We don't make judgment on full swap couples and happily play with them or chat. " | |||
"A fair point , but it totally depends on the scenario . If you hook up with a couple early on , enjoy drinks together and while away a few hours chatting and getting on , then find out the other couple aren't full swap it's a wasted evening . You could blame the full swap couple for not asking earlier , or the soft swap couple for not mentioning their preference . Personally we are happy with either if it's a couple we are attracted to "To be honest Glos I'd say that any couple looking for something quite particular from a meet should lead with their needs. If that's a full swap then they need to be the ones making sure that's on the cards. If its for everyone to wear Noel Edmonds masks then that'd be needed upfront too If no one has such needs then I think the definition of "no pressure" basically means people will be happy with whatever happens... even if it only ends up being a little frolic in the back passage | |||
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"Thanks guys for the comment in the forum, it appears that stressing a concern puts you in the firing line for negative comments which is not what we are about.. And you are right, if you read some of our veris we have indeed pushed boundaries with couples and single girls.. that was never something we "planned" to happen. " Well thats what boundaries are for! Although prefer the blowing them apart rather than pushing a little!
We are a go with the flow couple, play soft, full, and all bits in-between. Thats often down to the situation, environment, and people, and time of the night! We would never take the huff(nor want someone to with us) if full swap, didn't occur, it may be actually more fun what we were doing at that time, and next time or even later full might be equally desirable. We've been on single guy nights, and only soft swapped(or only allowed watching) and then played fully with a couple.
My only observation - is your profile is misleading, most people tend to specify in their description what they are looking for and what their boundaries may be, even your verifications talk about kissing, wild nights etc (kissing is something some full swap couples don't do!)
You were in a club at the time, but people often have seen the profile and then match the people when they see them out, so may expect you are full swap, if thats what they enjoy(and saying they 80s attitude is as derogatory as them not respecting your limitations) If we saw you out having seen your profile, to be fair we'd expect you were full swap, wed still enjoy chatting with you, and some naughty soft play and it may be the location, i.e jacuzzi etc that what be suitable at the time, but we'd probably move on at some point for some more adventure.
The hardest question ever is what is soft swap? infers you kiss on profile? both sexes? both of you? Oral? touching? Some couples who are soft may take offence at you if next thing you were trying to snog their bloke, would that disappoint you? | |||
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"We are a go with the flow couple, play soft, full, and all bits in-between." You're also absolutely stunning | |||
"We are a go with the flow couple, play soft, full, and all bits in-between. You're also absolutely stunning "Thank you! We would say the same but you picture-less! But we shall just use our imaginations instead! | |||
"There are profiles on here that say they enjoy kissing, and if you don't then you not for them, yet there profiles that say full swap apart from kissing! The key is those profiles very clear what they mean and want." But to answer your question... I think full swap has to be about penetration. No swap has to be about no kind of sexual activity between couples.... and soft swap is everything in between. Strictly speaking then kissing would be for anyone from soft swap upwards... and even some no swappers might allow it if it doesn't get too steamy. That'd be our take on it | |||
"We are a go with the flow couple, play soft, full, and all bits in-between. You're also absolutely stunning
Thank you! We would say the same but you picture-less! But we shall just use our imaginations instead!"Damn! Now we've gotta match your imaginations There really is no hope for us lol | |||
"Thanks guys for the comment in the forum, it appears that stressing a concern puts you in the firing line for negative comments which is not what we are about.. And you are right, if you read some of our veris we have indeed pushed boundaries with couples and single girls.. that was never something we "planned" to happen. Well thats what boundaries are for! Although prefer the blowing them apart rather than pushing a little!
We are a go with the flow couple, play soft, full, and all bits in-between. Thats often down to the situation, environment, and people, and time of the night! We would never take the huff(nor want someone to with us) if full swap, didn't occur, it may be actually more fun what we were doing at that time, and next time or even later full might be equally desirable. We've been on single guy nights, and only soft swapped(or only allowed watching) and then played fully with a couple.
My only observation - is your profile is misleading, most people tend to specify in their description what they are looking for and what their boundaries may be, even your verifications talk about kissing, wild nights etc (kissing is something some full swap couples don't do!)
You were in a club at the time, but people often have seen the profile and then match the people when they see them out, so may expect you are full swap, if thats what they enjoy(and saying they 80s attitude is as derogatory as them not respecting your limitations) If we saw you out having seen your profile, to be fair we'd expect you were full swap, wed still enjoy chatting with you, and some naughty soft play and it may be the location, i.e jacuzzi etc that what be suitable at the time, but we'd probably move on at some point for some more adventure.
The hardest question ever is what is soft swap? infers you kiss on profile? both sexes? both of you? Oral? touching? Some couples who are soft may take offence at you if next thing you were trying to snog their bloke, would that disappoint you? "Very good points and maybe we should address them as not to disappoint, but your comment sums it up perfectly..who knows how an evening will pan out! We've be out to amazing parties and not played but had a perfect evening, we've been to parties to some hard full swingers who named us the hardest softies they know, it seems like the label soft swing implies that you're a newbie and not a genuine swinger.. And no idea what soft swing implies truly, not a label we like to carry but as mentioned before its protocol... With sounding pedantic does full swap mean you can just take what you want when you want without boundaries or even time spent discussing it, ie you're full swap, in we walk, cock in your arse, thanks very much and move on to the next victim! When fab introduces a full in specification of each label only then will we have a reference to refer too.. Until then we just would like to be treated equally. X | |||
"We are a go with the flow couple, play soft, full, and all bits in-between. You're also absolutely stunning
Thank you! We would say the same but you picture-less! But we shall just use our imaginations instead!
Damn! Now we've gotta match your imaginations There really is no hope for us lol "Yes there is no hope - our imaginations are warped, perverted and naughty - so right now you'd not imagine what we imagining about you and think we created a new category called down right bloody naughty swap! | |||
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"We're a soft swing cpl and we make it very clear on our profile and also when messaging i make it clear we keep final penetration for each other but anything else goes lol,not everyones cup of tea maybe but we do ok,theres always some that think they can change us lol,but it works for us ,would hate to go on a meet and disapoint someone by not saying upront what we do" I doubt you would ever disappoint! | |||
"We've noticed (not exclusively) that most full swap couples will lavish us with messages, pictures and swan around in clubs buying drinks, talking, laughing and being super nice etc etc... Until they find out we are not a full swap couple, we actually had one guy say these exact words when he found out "oh really, well I'm off to find someone worth talking too"... Followed by a comment saying "he's got the hump because he wanted to put his cock in you"... Firstly, why do some people on the scene insist on being so crass, where are the classy folk gone, secondly why because you can't fuck or be fucked by us do we get set aside like trash? We love being around people, having sex in group situations and indulging in amazing parties, is that not enough to be accepted!! "As with many other things, there are those who go beyond recreation into obsessive behaviour and lose sight of any manners or etiquette. Sic semper erat, et sic semper erit. | |||
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"We're a soft swing cpl and we make it very clear on our profile and also when messaging i make it clear we keep final penetration for each other but anything else goes lol,not everyones cup of tea maybe but we do ok,theres always some that think they can change us lol,but it works for us ,would hate to go on a meet and disapoint someone by not saying upront what we do" . I must stress we never arrange or would arrange a meet without discussing our preferences, as we said once it's mentioned in a message then it normally a stops dead in its tracks anyway.. But how do you deal with parties/clubs.. Should we not be allowed to go and enjoy ourselves or be welcomed because of this, could you imagine going to a club and being refused entry because you aren't full swap. | |||
"Are soft swingers the vegans of the swinging community? " Are men the vultures of the swinging community? | |||
"Are soft swingers the vegans of the swinging community? " Not strictly so , unless sometimes they may just have a nibble of cheese or if feeling really naughty an egg which has been rubbed in bacon | |||
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"Thanks guys for the comment in the forum, it appears that stressing a concern puts you in the firing line for negative comments which is not what we are about.. And you are right, if you read some of our veris we have indeed pushed boundaries with couples and single girls.. that was never something we "planned" to happen. Well thats what boundaries are for! Although prefer the blowing them apart rather than pushing a little!
We are a go with the flow couple, play soft, full, and all bits in-between. Thats often down to the situation, environment, and people, and time of the night! We would never take the huff(nor want someone to with us) if full swap, didn't occur, it may be actually more fun what we were doing at that time, and next time or even later full might be equally desirable. We've been on single guy nights, and only soft swapped(or only allowed watching) and then played fully with a couple.
My only observation - is your profile is misleading, most people tend to specify in their description what they are looking for and what their boundaries may be, even your verifications talk about kissing, wild nights etc (kissing is something some full swap couples don't do!)
You were in a club at the time, but people often have seen the profile and then match the people when they see them out, so may expect you are full swap, if thats what they enjoy(and saying they 80s attitude is as derogatory as them not respecting your limitations) If we saw you out having seen your profile, to be fair we'd expect you were full swap, wed still enjoy chatting with you, and some naughty soft play and it may be the location, i.e jacuzzi etc that what be suitable at the time, but we'd probably move on at some point for some more adventure.
The hardest question ever is what is soft swap? infers you kiss on profile? both sexes? both of you? Oral? touching? Some couples who are soft may take offence at you if next thing you were trying to snog their bloke, would that disappoint you?
Very good points and maybe we should address them as not to disappoint, but your comment sums it up perfectly..who knows how an evening will pan out! We've be out to amazing parties and not played but had a perfect evening, we've been to parties to some hard full swingers who named us the hardest softies they know, it seems like the label soft swing implies that you're a newbie and not a genuine swinger.. And no idea what soft swing implies truly, not a label we like to carry but as mentioned before its protocol... With sounding pedantic does full swap mean you can just take what you want when you want without boundaries or even time spent discussing it, ie you're full swap, in we walk, cock in your arse, thanks very much and move on to the next victim! When fab introduces a full in specification of each label only then will we have a reference to refer too.. Until then we just would like to be treated equally. X "I wouldnt say being soft swing labels you a newbie - its a preference, but as I say its just a case of being fairly clear at some point, don't think that has to be taken literrally as you post that the minute you say Hi to someone i a club you have to spell out your preferences, but if you have sat chatting, a simple "so what you both enjoy doing when you go clubbing ?" gives chance for you to say we only do full with each other but we never say never to pretty much anything else, which is how I understand you now. As say the kissing thing, is often a limitation of many couples even those that swap, they consider that intimate and personal, more so than cock in their ass as you say! Full swap doesn't mean someone can take what they want, its still down to who they are what they maybe even want that night, etc etc. We played in a room once and had a whole group of men come into the room, they watched and wanked, i then told a couple of them they could touch, but told others they couldn't and they were fine about it. Simply because it was clear. If we just stumbled across a couple in a room, rather than talking before, id never just stick my cock in someone - it be something you'd ask as the play went on, if it felt right. Bit like going on a date with a new partner for first times, you read the situation, you progress slowly and read the feedback, and finally still ask if it ok if it goes first...anything else would likely be called rape! | |||
"Are soft swingers the vegans of the swinging community? Are men the vultures of the swinging community? " You'd have to ask a single man how he feels... | |||
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"I'll say it again... for the different categories to be of any use whatsoever they need to be defined around these basic fundamental differences... Full Swap = Penetrative sex with each other's partners No Swap = No sexual interaction between partners Soft Swap = Anything in between What you want to add to that is up to you, whether you are willing to kiss or not, do it in the same room or not, make it a quickie and run or stay and take your time, etc etc... although obviously no swappers who aren't willing to do it in the same room would be a tad ridiculous lol "You've missed our category out! | |||
"I'll say it again... for the different categories to be of any use whatsoever they need to be defined around these basic fundamental differences... Full Swap = Penetrative sex with each other's partners No Swap = No sexual interaction between partners Soft Swap = Anything in between What you want to add to that is up to you, whether you are willing to kiss or not, do it in the same room or not, make it a quickie and run or stay and take your time, etc etc... although obviously no swappers who aren't willing to do it in the same room would be a tad ridiculous lol "Problem is you then have couples who will allow female to full swap with men, but male can only soft. Add to the mix Bi women/couples men etc There are straight full swap - but they swap with opposite sex only, with no female/female either. Think thats the point to the OP, its about being clear - they could find themselves equally soft swapping but she moves in to kiss the other female(as she says she enjoys that on her profile) only to find the female isn't bi, and doesn't kiss! Personally life for living - enjoy it while you can, try something, understand it, experience it - then decide what is worth repeating! | |||
"I'll say it again... for the different categories to be of any use whatsoever they need to be defined around these basic fundamental differences... Full Swap = Penetrative sex with each other's partners No Swap = No sexual interaction between partners Soft Swap = Anything in between What you want to add to that is up to you, whether you are willing to kiss or not, do it in the same room or not, make it a quickie and run or stay and take your time, etc etc... although obviously no swappers who aren't willing to do it in the same room would be a tad ridiculous lol
Problem is you then have couples who will allow female to full swap with men, but male can only soft. Add to the mix Bi women/couples men etc There are straight full swap - but they swap with opposite sex only, with no female/female either.
Think thats the point to the OP, its about being clear - they could find themselves equally soft swapping but she moves in to kiss the other female(as she says she enjoys that on her profile) only to find the female isn't bi, and doesn't kiss!
Personally life for living - enjoy it while you can, try something, understand it, experience it - then decide what is worth repeating!"You validate our point perfectly.. You cannot label people so specifically.. Life is for living agreed, but also its about respecting each other and our boundaries, not dismissing people because it's fruitless to you.. We are after all people too.. Not just hot property | |||
"Problem is you then have couples who will allow female to full swap with men, but male can only soft. Add to the mix Bi women/couples men etc There are straight full swap - but they swap with opposite sex only, with no female/female either. Think thats the point to the OP, its about being clear - they could find themselves equally soft swapping but she moves in to kiss the other female(as she says she enjoys that on her profile) only to find the female isn't bi, and doesn't kiss! " lol well that confused the heck out of my brain I'd just say that, as well as no pressure, swinging should be equal. If one partner is full swap... so should the other. Anything outside this is really asking for problems imo. You both go as far as the least willing person is willing to go. That'd be our golden rule.
As for the whole bi/straight thing. I'd say that's information I'd want to present up front... lest I get an unwelcome friend up my back passage | |||
"If id gone to a club to hopefully have sex. Met someone, got on well, spent time with them as the party went on around us, then was offered the chance to only watch them have sex etc. I'm not going to lie to you id be miffed! Maybe clubs should have soft swing nights? Or the legendary traffic light system! It's like going train spotting, then turning your back as the train pulls in." Maybe, or you should just be less presumptuous, we have no interest in single guys (that is clear) but spent an evening at a party with a pure gentleman..the guys got on like a house in fire and he assumed nothing, nothing happened with us but we kept in contact, we threw a party invited him and well let's just say he was very much indulged in by some hot unicorn friends of ours.. He wasn't miffed at all! | |||
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"We've noticed (not exclusively) that most full swap couples will lavish us with messages, pictures and swan around in clubs buying drinks, talking, laughing and being super nice etc etc... Until they find out we are not a full swap couple, we actually had one guy say these exact words when he found out "oh really, well I'm off to find someone worth talking too"... Followed by a comment saying "he's got the hump because he wanted to put his cock in you"... Firstly, why do some people on the scene insist on being so crass, where are the classy folk gone, secondly why because you can't fuck or be fucked by us do we get set aside like trash? We love being around people, having sex in group situations and indulging in amazing parties, is that not enough to be accepted!! "To people who've been around for a while (like us), all this 'soft swap' malarky is just a lot of bollocks because we've been there already. It was two years before we did the dirty deed with another couple and as you will see from our veris we no longer restrict our activities. However, we sometimes still do soft but not because we have a line but we maybe just can't be bothered and would rather shag each other fsroa. Be assured that if you continue in the 'lifestyle' you will look back and think "what was all that silliness about?" Most people do. | |||
"We've noticed (not exclusively) that most full swap couples will lavish us with messages, pictures and swan around in clubs buying drinks, talking, laughing and being super nice etc etc... Until they find out we are not a full swap couple, we actually had one guy say these exact words when he found out "oh really, well I'm off to find someone worth talking too"... Followed by a comment saying "he's got the hump because he wanted to put his cock in you"... Firstly, why do some people on the scene insist on being so crass, where are the classy folk gone, secondly why because you can't fuck or be fucked by us do we get set aside like trash? We love being around people, having sex in group situations and indulging in amazing parties, is that not enough to be accepted!!
To people who've been around for a while (like us), all this 'soft swap' malarky is just a lot of bollocks because we've been there already. It was two years before we did the dirty deed with another couple and as you will see from our veris we no longer restrict our activities. However, we sometimes still do soft but not because we have a line but we maybe just can't be bothered and would rather shag each other fsroa. Be assured that if you continue in the 'lifestyle' you will look back and think "what was all that silliness about?" Most people do."Which I suppose leads to the question why is someone soft swap only? Trust issues? insecurity? Health fears? I don't really get the keeping it special thing - you got some other mans cock in your mouth, think keeping it special just flown out the window. The most secure in love, together trusting couples we know, full swap, because they get that swinging is just that, a night out. they go home after and carry on their lives, and pretty much don't have to worry that their other half going to have an affair for sex reasons, why would they, when they can always have that together! | |||
"We've noticed (not exclusively) that most full swap couples will lavish us with messages, pictures and swan around in clubs buying drinks, talking, laughing and being super nice etc etc... Until they find out we are not a full swap couple, we actually had one guy say these exact words when he found out "oh really, well I'm off to find someone worth talking too"... Followed by a comment saying "he's got the hump because he wanted to put his cock in you"... Firstly, why do some people on the scene insist on being so crass, where are the classy folk gone, secondly why because you can't fuck or be fucked by us do we get set aside like trash? We love being around people, having sex in group situations and indulging in amazing parties, is that not enough to be accepted!!
To people who've been around for a while (like us), all this 'soft swap' malarky is just a lot of bollocks because we've been there already. It was two years before we did the dirty deed with another couple and as you will see from our veris we no longer restrict our activities. However, we sometimes still do soft but not because we have a line but we maybe just can't be bothered and would rather shag each other fsroa. Be assured that if you continue in the 'lifestyle' you will look back and think "what was all that silliness about?" Most people do.
Which I suppose leads to the question why is someone soft swap only? Trust issues? insecurity? Health fears? I don't really get the keeping it special thing - you got some other mans cock in your mouth, think keeping it special just flown out the window.
The most secure in love, together trusting couples we know, full swap, because they get that swinging is just that, a night out. they go home after and carry on their lives, and pretty much don't have to worry that their other half going to have an affair for sex reasons, why would they, when they can always have that together!"We full swap but not with complete strangers because we don't know their sexual habits and have health concerns. So we tend to soft swap at clubs and arrange a follow up full swap with couples we like. | |||
"If id gone to a club to hopefully have sex. Met someone, got on well, spent time with them as the party went on around us, then was offered the chance to only watch them have sex etc. I'm not going to lie to you id be miffed! Maybe clubs should have soft swing nights? Or the legendary traffic light system! It's like going train spotting, then turning your back as the train pulls in. Maybe, or you should just be less presumptuous, we have no interest in single guys (that is clear) but spent an evening at a party with a pure gentleman..the guys got on like a house in fire and he assumed nothing, nothing happened with us but we kept in contact, we threw a party invited him and well let's just say he was very much indulged in by some hot unicorn friends of ours.. He wasn't miffed at all! " The alternative is that we could treat all single males as second class citizens for fear of giving them false hope. We could be rude and nasty just so we don't lead them on. Would that make for a better club atmosphere than having conversations that don't presume a sexual ending!? | |||
"If id gone to a club to hopefully have sex. Met someone, got on well, spent time with them as the party went on around us, then was offered the chance to only watch them have sex etc. I'm not going to lie to you id be miffed! Maybe clubs should have soft swing nights? Or the legendary traffic light system! It's like going train spotting, then turning your back as the train pulls in. Maybe, or you should just be less presumptuous, we have no interest in single guys (that is clear) but spent an evening at a party with a pure gentleman..the guys got on like a house in fire and he assumed nothing, nothing happened with us but we kept in contact, we threw a party invited him and well let's just say he was very much indulged in by some hot unicorn friends of ours.. He wasn't miffed at all! The alternative is that we could treat all single males as second class citizens for fear of giving them false hope. We could be rude and nasty just so we don't lead them on. Would that make for a better club atmosphere than having conversations that don't presume a sexual ending!? " Lock them in cages! | |||
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"There's often an assumption on here, which may be in the clubs too dunno, that everything short of fucking a stranger is like eating bacon flavoured quorn and that, sooner or later, you'll just cave in, fuck a stranger, eat the bacon, and not want that stupid quorn stuff again. This so phenomally misses the point of the whole eroticism of being with strangers in a sexual way that it feels to me more like seeing a wine tasting as a pointless waste of time and just downing a bottle of white spirit to bypass it all and get where you recon everyone else wants to get.. which is totally hammered. It isn't. Swinging, for me, opens the doorway to a whole chocolate box of delights... from candlelit mixed up double dates, to erotic life drawing sessions, to meetings in mixed showers at the swimming pool, to sexy camp outs under the stars. Fucking is probably the least interesting part of the whole thing TBH. For me, and I'd say for my wife too, the journey is so much more fun and importrant than the destination. That's why people soft swing, no swing, full swing, role play, have sex in public, give quick bj's behind the bushes, etc etc etc. It's the spice of life... variety and adventure " | |||
"Are soft swingers the vegans of the swinging community? Are men the vultures of the swinging community? ." Why be so offensive about a jokey comment?
Ahh the penny drops regarding the OP... | |||
"We've noticed (not exclusively) that most full swap couples will lavish us with messages, pictures and swan around in clubs buying drinks, talking, laughing and being super nice etc etc... Until they find out we are not a full swap couple, we actually had one guy say these exact words when he found out "oh really, well I'm off to find someone worth talking too"... Followed by a comment saying "he's got the hump because he wanted to put his cock in you"... Firstly, why do some people on the scene insist on being so crass, where are the classy folk gone, secondly why because you can't fuck or be fucked by us do we get set aside like trash? We love being around people, having sex in group situations and indulging in amazing parties, is that not enough to be accepted!!
To people who've been around for a while (like us), all this 'soft swap' malarky is just a lot of bollocks because we've been there already. It was two years before we did the dirty deed with another couple and as you will see from our veris we no longer restrict our activities. However, we sometimes still do soft but not because we have a line but we maybe just can't be bothered and would rather shag each other fsroa. Be assured that if you continue in the 'lifestyle' you will look back and think "what was all that silliness about?" Most people do."Tripe. | |||
"We've noticed (not exclusively) that most full swap couples will lavish us with messages, pictures and swan around in clubs buying drinks, talking, laughing and being super nice etc etc... Until they find out we are not a full swap couple, we actually had one guy say these exact words when he found out "oh really, well I'm off to find someone worth talking too"... Followed by a comment saying "he's got the hump because he wanted to put his cock in you"... Firstly, why do some people on the scene insist on being so crass, where are the classy folk gone, secondly why because you can't fuck or be fucked by us do we get set aside like trash? We love being around people, having sex in group situations and indulging in amazing parties, is that not enough to be accepted!! "We find the same. I Fi don't fully swap, which is completely my choice. Many couples insist that we fully swap otherwise we are not for them - their loss. We prefer to just have fun without any pressure and have met some amazing people as a result. Stick to your guns xxxx | |||
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"Are soft swingers the vegans of the swinging community? Are men the vultures of the swinging community? . Why be so offensive about a jokey comment?
Ahh the penny drops regarding the OP..."Oh I'm sorry, didn't realise we was supposed the bend over to vindictive comments, and don't try and judge us for defending ourselves.. People who actually spend time with us make it quite clear how positive we are.. X | |||
"Are soft swingers the vegans of the swinging community? Are men the vultures of the swinging community? . Why be so offensive about a jokey comment?
Ahh the penny drops regarding the OP...
Oh I'm sorry, didn't realise we was supposed the bend over to vindictive comments, and don't try and judge us for defending ourselves.. People who actually spend time with us make it quite clear how positive we are.. X "Who was being vindictive? He made a joke. I'll judge whoever I like thanks. Perhaps your defensive attitude (when none is needed) is the true issue. And not your swinging preferences after all. | |||
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"That,s why we don,t do clubs it,s not just the case of look,s size and color we want more than a fuck there as got to be a bit of something there more than a cock or a open pussy" We like this reply | |||
"Are soft swingers the vegans of the swinging community? Are men the vultures of the swinging community? . Why be so offensive about a jokey comment?
Ahh the penny drops regarding the OP...
Oh I'm sorry, didn't realise we was supposed the bend over to vindictive comments, and don't try and judge us for defending ourselves.. People who actually spend time with us make it quite clear how positive we are.. X
Who was being vindictive? He made a joke.
I'll judge whoever I like thanks.
Perhaps your defensive attitude (when none is needed) is the true issue. And not your swinging preferences after all."You reserve the right to judge when it is not needed.. We reserve the right to be defensive and will continue to do so in the light of disprespectful people, feel free to continue with your assumption of us | |||
"That,s why we don,t do clubs it,s not just the case of look,s size and color we want more than a fuck there as got to be a bit of something there more than a cock or a open pussy We like this reply "We like this too.. It's spot on | |||
"Are soft swingers the vegans of the swinging community? " Lmao oh no Watched as my Mrs has eaten plenty of meat!!!  | |||
"Are soft swingers the vegans of the swinging community? Are men the vultures of the swinging community? . Why be so offensive about a jokey comment?
Ahh the penny drops regarding the OP...
Oh I'm sorry, didn't realise we was supposed the bend over to vindictive comments, and don't try and judge us for defending ourselves.. People who actually spend time with us make it quite clear how positive we are.. X
Who was being vindictive? He made a joke.
I'll judge whoever I like thanks.
Perhaps your defensive attitude (when none is needed) is the true issue. And not your swinging preferences after all."My initial post on this thread questioned that if this rudeness was so common waa the OP somehow provoking it. And while I suspect they will again reference their verifications as validation of how 'nice' they are, the undeniable truth is that the tone of some of their responses to some posts on this thread are pretty unpleasant. OP, people are entitled to disagree with you. And equally while you are entitled to choose to only soft swap people are also entitled to choose not to play with you if that doesn't match their preferences. To me it seems that you need to show people the same respect you expect from them | |||
"Are soft swingers the vegans of the swinging community? Are men the vultures of the swinging community? . Why be so offensive about a jokey comment?
Ahh the penny drops regarding the OP...
Oh I'm sorry, didn't realise we was supposed the bend over to vindictive comments, and don't try and judge us for defending ourselves.. People who actually spend time with us make it quite clear how positive we are.. X
Who was being vindictive? He made a joke.
I'll judge whoever I like thanks.
Perhaps your defensive attitude (when none is needed) is the true issue. And not your swinging preferences after all.
My initial post on this thread questioned that if this rudeness was so common waa the OP somehow provoking it. And while I suspect they will again reference their verifications as validation of how 'nice' they are, the undeniable truth is that the tone of some of their responses to some posts on this thread are pretty unpleasant.
OP, people are entitled to disagree with you. And equally while you are entitled to choose to only soft swap people are also entitled to choose not to play with you if that doesn't match their preferences. To me it seems that you need to show people the same respect you expect from them"I agree and I have gone off a tangent with some responses as a defensive, not an intention.. We've not suggested that at any point anyone should play with us, never!! ... The initial point was just being downtrodden for not being full swap and expected to put out to everyone who wants it.. | |||
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"That,s why we don,t do clubs it,s not just the case of look,s size and color we want more than a fuck there as got to be a bit of something there more than a cock or a open pussy" That's really interesting because it's precisely why we do clubs. All our other needs are satisfied by our real life - our swinging life in clubs is simply for fulfilling our sexual fantasies, and it does. And when we leave a club we can leave it all behind us. | |||
"That,s why we don,t do clubs it,s not just the case of look,s size and color we want more than a fuck there as got to be a bit of something there more than a cock or a open pussy That's really interesting because it's precisely why we do clubs. All our other needs are satisfied by our real life - our swinging life in clubs is simply for fulfilling our sexual fantasies, and it does. And when we leave a club we can leave it all behind us." Very well put | |||
"We have never seen the point of so called soft swap nonsense. To each their own of course, but I think many cpls will have a problem with cpls who are not actually looking for sex." Though in fairness to the OP I guess if people dismissl your preference as 'nonsense' that is pretty rude | |||
"We have never seen the point of so called soft swap nonsense. To each their own of course, but I think many cpls will have a problem with cpls who are not actually looking for sex. Though in fairness to the OP I guess if people dismissl your preference as 'nonsense' that is pretty rude" Besides which soft swapping can be very satisfying - watching and being watched from close quarters, together with touching and stroking is sometimes a nice change from full on swaps.Than goodness for variety! | |||
"We have never seen the point of so called soft swap nonsense. To each their own of course, but I think many cpls will have a problem with cpls who are not actually looking for sex. Though in fairness to the OP I guess if people dismissl your preference as 'nonsense' that is pretty rude Besides which soft swapping can be very satisfying - watching and being watched from close quarters, together with touching and stroking is sometimes a nice change from full on swaps.Than goodness for variety!" But the don't be annoyed and oh so offended when people view your very vanilla approach to swinging as boring as fuck. | |||
"We have never seen the point of so called soft swap nonsense. To each their own of course, but I think many cpls will have a problem with cpls who are not actually looking for sex. Though in fairness to the OP I guess if people dismissl your preference as 'nonsense' that is pretty rude Besides which soft swapping can be very satisfying - watching and being watched from close quarters, together with touching and stroking is sometimes a nice change from full on swaps.Than goodness for variety! But the don't be annoyed and oh so offended when people view your very vanilla approach to swinging as boring as fuck." Wow | |||
"We have never seen the point of so called soft swap nonsense. To each their own of course, but I think many cpls will have a problem with cpls who are not actually looking for sex. Though in fairness to the OP I guess if people dismissl your preference as 'nonsense' that is pretty rude Besides which soft swapping can be very satisfying - watching and being watched from close quarters, together with touching and stroking is sometimes a nice change from full on swaps.Than goodness for variety! But the don't be annoyed and oh so offended when people view your very vanilla approach to swinging as boring as fuck." Sorry - have I missed something. Neither is our approach to swinging vanilla nor am I annoyed or offended about anything. And I certainly wouldn't call the MMMFF I had last weekend as boring as fuck. If attitudes like yours are common then no wonder the OP is upset! | |||
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"this whole conversation reminds me of the of those very "in vouge" sayings at the moment..... Red lines.... If something is a "red line" where it is something that is non-negotiable so to speak..... then yes, I think that should go in the profile... so if not being into full swing is a red line.. it should go in if not playing with single guys is a red line... it should go in... its that thing about preferences and how they are expressed... because i find the one thing most people aren't... are mindreaders!!! it doesnt have to be all sound negative... "we don't do this and that" it could be "we are only interested in this or that" in a club situation... if it is a biggie... then yes, when you talk about yourselves I would mention it early! some people have there dos and donts and you wouldn't go into a situation completely blind" . Very well put and totally agree.. | |||
"Inserts generic blowing smoke up ass comment in vain hope of shag... " | |||
"Inserts generic blowing smoke up ass comment in vain hope of shag... " | |||
"Inserts generic blowing smoke up ass comment in vain hope of shag... "A hope is all it will ever be | |||
"Inserts generic blowing smoke up ass comment in vain hope of shag...
A hope is all it will ever be "Lol, who wants a meet not involving sex anayway | |||
"Inserts generic blowing smoke up ass comment in vain hope of shag...
A hope is all it will ever be
Lol, who wants a meet not involving sex anayway"Great attitude, you'll go far.. | |||
"Inserts generic blowing smoke up ass comment in vain hope of shag...
A hope is all it will ever be
Lol, who wants a meet not involving sex anayway
Great attitude, you'll go far..
"Hey, you asked for opinions | |||
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"Inserts generic blowing smoke up ass comment in vain hope of shag...
A hope is all it will ever be
Lol, who wants a meet not involving sex anayway
Great attitude, you'll go far..
Hey, you asked for opinions "Opinions are really good - they expose your character for the world to see and judge you by. | |||
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"Every one is unique and are looking for different forms of pleasure. There are quite a few coarse rude people on here but many really nice open minded people too. You are a very attractive couple and strangely that can give problems with some people too. You just have to ignore these people and enjoy the company of kindred spirits. Tc. Jim" Thank you guys, lovely words, be careful you'll be accused smoke blowing lol.. We love being around kindred spirits, despite their preferences x | |||
"We've noticed (not exclusively) that most full swap couples will lavish us with messages, pictures and swan around in clubs buying drinks, talking, laughing and being super nice etc etc... I'd find this attention pretty creepy and it would put me off completely! Until they find out we are not a full swap couple, we actually had one guy say these exact words when he found out "oh really, well I'm off to find someone worth talking too"... Followed by a comment saying "he's got the hump because he wanted to put his cock in you"... Firstly, why do some people on the scene insist on being so crass, where are the classy folk gone, secondly why because you can't fuck or be fucked by us do we get set aside like trash? Did you allow the free drinks and compliments he lavished on you to blind you to his true character I.e. complete Dick? We love being around people, having sex in group situations and indulging in amazing parties, is that not enough to be accepted If something is happening a lot and you're the common factor, it's probably time to change your attitude, expectations or behavior. " | |||
"That,s why we don,t do clubs it,s not just the case of look,s size and color we want more than a fuck there as got to be a bit of something there more than a cock or a open pussy That's really interesting because it's precisely why we do clubs. All our other needs are satisfied by our real life - our swinging life in clubs is simply for fulfilling our sexual fantasies, and it does. And when we leave a club we can leave it all behind us. Very well put "Agree. Ultimately, we all do this to have sex of some sort or the other with strangers whether it involve contact or not. WE don't do this to fall in love but unfortunately there are people who (maybe secretly?) seem to be looking for someone to replace a partner they no longer love or desire. We have all seen or heard of couples where one appears to have been dragged in to it against their will and it is uncomfortable to watch. Swinging should be dynamic, stimulating, fun, safe and spontaneous (contradictory?). Planning it like a military exercise with strict rules and guidelines? not for us thankyou but we know when to bail out when necessary. As alluded previously, it comes with experience and trust. | |||
" The OP has soft swing in the Interests section, is that not enough? Should it be in bold flashing font?" They also have dp in the interests section but as soft swap how do they do that? | |||
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"Some people take swinging very seriously and are only out to notch as many conquests as they can,and they think anything that isn't there version of swinging is wrong, and you shouldn't even darken there life with your version of swinging, Some people think 3Somes isn't swinging single people shouldn't be involved in swinging, just do what is working for you, doesn't matter if thats soft swap or even just having sex with each other in front of people, For every bad couple you meet you Will meet a nice one " Well said xxx | |||
" The OP has soft swing in the Interests section, is that not enough? Should it be in bold flashing font? They also have dp in the interests section but as soft swap how do they do that?" We did clarify this as a toy, strap on possibility as Mrs would like to try new things.. Again no specifics, we also like group sex, our version being part of a group having sex, experiencing the chemistry and voyueristic pleasures it involves, not a gangbang scenario.. | |||
"Some people take swinging very seriously and are only out to notch as many conquests as they can,and they think anything that isn't there version of swinging is wrong, and you shouldn't even darken there life with your version of swinging, Some people think 3Somes isn't swinging single people shouldn't be involved in swinging, just do what is working for you, doesn't matter if thats soft swap or even just having sex with each other in front of people, For every bad couple you meet you Will meet a nice one Well said xxx " | |||
" The OP has soft swing in the Interests section, is that not enough? Should it be in bold flashing font? They also have dp in the interests section but as soft swap how do they do that? We did clarify this as a toy, strap on possibility as Mrs would like to try new things.. Again no specifics, we also like group sex, our version being part of a group having sex, experiencing the chemistry and voyueristic pleasures it involves, not a gangbang scenario.." As I have said above what suits you suits you, just because you have it in your interests doesn't mean that that is set in stone was the point I was trying to make, | |||
"Some people take swinging very seriously and are only out to notch as many conquests as they can,and they think anything that isn't there version of swinging is wrong, and you shouldn't even darken there life with your version of swinging, Some people think 3Somes isn't swinging single people shouldn't be involved in swinging, just do what is working for you, doesn't matter if thats soft swap or even just having sex with each other in front of people, For every bad couple you meet you Will meet a nice one Well said xxx " This is spot on. | |||
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"As with everything in life peoples opinions, feelings and views will differ regardless of the topic. Some people are very set in their ways. Black is black, white is white and there is no room for grey areas. Some people will look at the bigger picture and take other peoples opinions, views and feelings into account. They may even learn something new or change their outlook entirely. Swinging is no different. You will (as we have) encounter those who only want full sex swaps, those who absolutely will never full swap and those who are in the middle and take a more relaxed go with the flow approach. Fair enough if somebody has a preference to full swap and finds soft play too tame but for us personally this is enough for us and what we want out of swinging atm. The operative word here is respect. I can sit at a dinner table with a group of people and order a meal. I might be a veggi and would never eat the steak that the person next to me is devouring. That doesn't mean I cant enjoy my meal in their company and share my wine and conversation with them.I might even be tempted to pinch one of their chips. "What if the chips were cooked in beef fat? | |||
"I've also got to say I'm disappointed by many of the comments on this thread. Everyone should have the right and courage to soft swing rather than full swing if they wish. No one should be ostracised or marginalised because they choose not to do a full swap. Where is the open mindedness in that. " Negativity breeds negativity. If you start a post by questioning other people's attitudes and behaviors you should expect some people not to share your point of view. I'm afraid to say that that's how life works. I've been to many clubs I've never played at any and i have explained to those who i converse with that that is the case usually within the first minute of chatting. It's really not difficult. | |||
"As with everything in life peoples opinions, feelings and views will differ regardless of the topic. Some people are very set in their ways. Black is black, white is white and there is no room for grey areas. Some people will look at the bigger picture and take other peoples opinions, views and feelings into account. They may even learn something new or change their outlook entirely. Swinging is no different. You will (as we have) encounter those who only want full sex swaps, those who absolutely will never full swap and those who are in the middle and take a more relaxed go with the flow approach. Fair enough if somebody has a preference to full swap and finds soft play too tame but for us personally this is enough for us and what we want out of swinging atm. The operative word here is respect. I can sit at a dinner table with a group of people and order a meal. I might be a veggi and would never eat the steak that the person next to me is devouring. That doesn't mean I cant enjoy my meal in their company and share my wine and conversation with them.I might even be tempted to pinch one of their chips.
What if the chips were cooked in beef fat? "Exactly lol | |||
"We've noticed (not exclusively) that most full swap couples will lavish us with messages, pictures and swan around in clubs buying drinks, talking, laughing and being super nice etc etc... Until they find out we are not a full swap couple, we actually had one guy say these exact words when he found out "oh really, well I'm off to find someone worth talking too"... Followed by a comment saying "he's got the hump because he wanted to put his cock in you"... Firstly, why do some people on the scene insist on being so crass, where are the classy folk gone, secondly why because you can't fuck or be fucked by us do we get set aside like trash? We love being around people, having sex in group situations and indulging in amazing parties, is that not enough to be accepted!! "We get that on here ,wev been called time wasters amongst others and have been told we shouldn't be on here,wev even been told recently that we shouldn't update our profile ontill we want a meet hahaha a big FUCK YOU to that, we play with who we want when we want | |||
"this whole conversation reminds me of the of those very "in vouge" sayings at the moment..... Red lines.... If something is a "red line" where it is something that is non-negotiable so to speak..... then yes, I think that should go in the profile... so if not being into full swing is a red line.. it should go in if not playing with single guys is a red line... it should go in... its that thing about preferences and how they are expressed... because i find the one thing most people aren't... are mindreaders!!! it doesnt have to be all sound negative... "we don't do this and that" it could be "we are only interested in this or that" in a club situation... if it is a biggie... then yes, when you talk about yourselves I would mention it early! some people have there dos and donts and you wouldn't go into a situation completely blind" Hi Fabio. Like most of your posts... this makes sense... but I feel it's alarmingly one sided. People talk about swinging being a no pressure environment. There should be no pressure for this or no pressure for that. Your red line philosophy seems to suggest that the norm should be complete full swap in private and in every orifice and anything short of that should be stipulated. I'd say the opposite... the assumption should be that nothing is going to happen at all.. that's what I take "no pressure" to mean... and that anything more than nothing is a bonus. The attitude that if we're not gonna get to shag you then you're wasting our time just comes across as having an air of entitlement about it. So... yes certain red lines need to be drawn... such as whether you're 100% straight, bi-curious, bi-happy, or 100% gay. Yes it is also wise to tell people where your boundaries are... not into kissing, haven't full swapped yet and don't feel comfortable with it, etc. But beyond that the assumption should be that if you're swinging then you're soft swap, and possibly even just no swap... unless you state you're full swap. Or in other words... If someone has stated their boundaries they should be respected. however... If they have not... it should be assumed that they are either no swap or soft swap. People like Glos should go into every meet expecting it to be a no swap or just a bit of fun and giggles and be pleasantly surprised if/when it turns out to be more. That'd be my definition of "no pressure" | |||
) and 90% have been soft swap technically , but we are totally ' go with the flow ' when it comes to the play | |||
"We never expect anything . And indeed we never put any pressure on anyone either . We've had a few meets on here ( ) and 90% have been soft swap technically , but we are totally ' go with the flow ' when it comes to the play "Sorry.. it just sounded from an ealier post that you had a bit of a huffy if people didn't want to shag you. Apologies  | |||
"We never expect anything . And indeed we never put any pressure on anyone either . We've had a few meets on here ( ) and 90% have been soft swap technically , but we are totally ' go with the flow ' when it comes to the play
Sorry.. it just sounded from an ealier post that you had a bit of a huffy if people didn't want to shag you. Apologies "Apology accepted , we are the last people in the world to have a huffy about who does what or not on a meet | |||
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"this whole conversation reminds me of the of those very "in vouge" sayings at the moment..... Red lines.... If something is a "red line" where it is something that is non-negotiable so to speak..... then yes, I think that should go in the profile... so if not being into full swing is a red line.. it should go in if not playing with single guys is a red line... it should go in... its that thing about preferences and how they are expressed... because i find the one thing most people aren't... are mindreaders!!! it doesnt have to be all sound negative... "we don't do this and that" it could be "we are only interested in this or that" in a club situation... if it is a biggie... then yes, when you talk about yourselves I would mention it early! some people have there dos and donts and you wouldn't go into a situation completely blind" | |||
"We've noticed (not exclusively) that most full swap couples will lavish us with messages, pictures and swan around in clubs buying drinks, talking, laughing and being super nice etc etc... Until they find out we are not a full swap couple, we actually had one guy say these exact words when he found out "oh really, well I'm off to find someone worth talking too"... Followed by a comment saying "he's got the hump because he wanted to put his cock in you"... Firstly, why do some people on the scene insist on being so crass, where are the classy folk gone, secondly why because you can't fuck or be fucked by us do we get set aside like trash? We love being around people, having sex in group situations and indulging in amazing parties, is that not enough to be accepted!! "as a single bloke on here the few couples I have spoke to are so far up there own arses it's untrue so i guess it's the same sort of scenario don,t let them get to you if you be yourself the true people who's company you will enjoy will eventually find you you just have to put up with the dickheads in the meantime hope this helps in some way | |||
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"We've noticed (not exclusively) that most full swap couples will lavish us with messages, pictures and swan around in clubs buying drinks, talking, laughing and being super nice etc etc... Until they find out we are not a full swap couple, we actually had one guy say these exact words when he found out "oh really, well I'm off to find someone worth talking too"... Followed by a comment saying "he's got the hump because he wanted to put his cock in you"... Firstly, why do some people on the scene insist on being so crass, where are the classy folk gone, secondly why because you can't fuck or be fucked by us do we get set aside like trash? We love being around people, having sex in group situations and indulging in amazing parties, is that not enough to be accepted!! as a single bloke on here the few couples I have spoke to are so far up there own arses it's untrue so i guess it's the same sort of scenario don,t let them get to you if you be yourself the true people who's company you will enjoy will eventually find you you just have to put up with the dickheads in the meantime hope this helps in some way"Thank you, positive thoughts x | |||
"We've noticed (not exclusively) that most full swap couples will lavish us with messages, pictures and swan around in clubs buying drinks, talking, laughing and being super nice etc etc... Until they find out we are not a full swap couple, we actually had one guy say these exact words when he found out "oh really, well I'm off to find someone worth talking too"... Followed by a comment saying "he's got the hump because he wanted to put his cock in you"... Firstly, why do some people on the scene insist on being so crass, where are the classy folk gone, secondly why because you can't fuck or be fucked by us do we get set aside like trash? We love being around people, having sex in group situations and indulging in amazing parties, is that not enough to be accepted!! "We have met a couple before that wouldn't stop going on about us eventually full swapping and that they would love to full swap with us. Just spoilt the night and we ended up cutting the meet short because they didn't seem to grasp the fact that it isn't what we want or wanted in the past 4 year we have been doing this. That is only 1 out of all the meets we have had though. | |||
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"Best to tell people upfront, within the first few minutes of the conversation, that you don't swap That way, if they do want to swap, they will say "ta ta" to you and will go find someone else who does You won't feel pestered and they won't feel as if they have wasted their precious time on you"
If people had common sense.... | |||
