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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am sure some will have pleasure in "shooting me down" after reading this post;
I have been on the swinging scene with my ex wife for many years off and on and afterwards with my lovely female FB partner and I am Bisexual man with an insatiable appetite for sex and attached
All of which is pretty much contained in my profile
I know I am not the only attached or married person playing on here without their partner/husband//wife knowing
So why do we in same situation, get lots of abuse ?
Jon steps back and look for fall out ............... |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"I am sure some will have pleasure in "shooting me down" after reading this post;
I have been on the swinging scene with my ex wife for many years off and on and afterwards with my lovely female FB partner and I am Bisexual man with an insatiable appetite for sex and attached
All of which is pretty much contained in my profile
I know I am not the only attached or married person playing on here without their partner/husband//wife knowing
So why do we in same situation, get lots of abuse ?
Jon steps back and look for fall out ..............."
There are a number of things on your profile that would stop us contacting you.
It seems however that rather than moving to a more suitable potential meet some here take pleasure from "attacking" those who do not meet their requirements.
Why not simply block them and move on, we doubt if you would really want to meet them anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most swingers don't want be part of someone's cheating activities. Not hard to understand, really. Should they give you abuse for it? Probably not, except maybe when you ask for it by starting a thread on the subject. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Both comments post s far are correct and both have their own merits - but in all seriousness, for everyone like me brave enough to admit their circumstances, there must 1000's n here who just lie - or am I being cynical or should I just lie as well ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Most swingers don't want be part of someone's cheating activities. Not hard to understand, really. Should they give you abuse for it? Probably not, except maybe when you ask for it by starting a thread on the subject."
pmsl  but I am an ex moderator off another well known site, so quiet thick skinned lol |
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"Both comments post s far are correct and both have their own merits - but in all seriousness, for everyone like me brave enough to admit their circumstances, there must 1000's n here who just lie - or am I being cynical or should I just lie as well ? "
There are loads of men and women who lie about their personal circumstances and loads who just go about their business without announcing it. There's no need to lie just keep your own counsel.
I'm not sure admitting your circumstances is brave really though. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Both comments post s far are correct and both have their own merits - but in all seriousness, for everyone like me brave enough to admit their circumstances, there must 1000's n here who just lie - or am I being cynical or should I just lie as well ? "
What's brave about what you're doing? Go and tell your partner the truth. That would be brave. |
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"Both comments post s far are correct and both have their own merits - but in all seriousness, for everyone like me brave enough to admit their circumstances, there must 1000's n here who just lie - or am I being cynical or should I just lie as well ?
What's brave about what you're doing? Go and tell your partner the truth. That would be brave."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To answer your question...
Because some have been cheated on themselves and know how much it hurts like hell for a long time?
Because more than one Fabber has been on the wrong end of a very angry wife or husband when they found out?
Because they don't want to be a party to a deception when they could just as easily meet a couple or a genuinely single person?
Lots of reasons probably. |
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It alway's makes me laugh when someone has 'attached' and 'honest' in the same sentence on their profile.
What worries me is that you seem to be proud of what you are doing by starting this thread. Just get on with it,you don't need to advertise the fact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not condoning cheating... but there is a weird reverse psychology on Fab that accounts for some of the problems the OP is talking about. For example... single women posters often state that they never play with married men on here because they don't want the drama. Amusingly, however, they're on the one website where playing with married men, with the blessings of their partner, is almost certain to result in less drama than risking playing with men who claim they're "single" when there's a rather high probability that they're not.
This same psychology applies a bit to the OP as it is clear that someone who confesses to cheating is a better option than a cheat who keeps it a secret. At least the OP, and others like him, give us all the information we need to know whether its something we want to do or not. It seems that some women and men get a kick out of having sex with people they shouldn't and so, Fab being a wonderful mix of all sorts of sexual mayhem, those who confess their adultering ways can seek out those types. Personally, we'd rather not engage in any activities which could result in emotional harm to others so we'd always prefer a partner's presence or at least proof of their consent.
I used to think that the cheating/not cheating thing was black and white. Now I'm a little more humble and realise that there are some instances in which people have extremely different needs from their partners, perhaps due to disabilities, age gap, or just simply huge differences in libido due to medical conditions or other biological reasons. To cut a long story short. I now understand that there are instances in which partners respect their other partner's needs but would rather not know the nitty gritty detail about it all. It seems a shame that there isn't a way to deal with this in a more enlightened way here on Fab. But I can't think of a solution at the mo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not condoning cheating... but there is a weird reverse psychology on Fab that accounts for some of the problems the OP is talking about. For example... single women posters often state that they never play with married men on here because they don't want the drama. Amusingly, however, they're on the one website where playing with married men, with the blessings of their partner, is almost certain to result in less drama than risking playing with men who claim they're "single" when there's a rather high probability that they're not.
This same psychology applies a bit to the OP as it is clear that someone who confesses to cheating is a better option than a cheat who keeps it a secret. At least the OP, and others like him, give us all the information we need to know whether its something we want to do or not. It seems that some women and men get a kick out of having sex with people they shouldn't and so, Fab being a wonderful mix of all sorts of sexual mayhem, those who confess their adultering ways can seek out those types. Personally, we'd rather not engage in any activities which could result in emotional harm to others so we'd always prefer a partner's presence or at least proof of their consent.
I used to think that the cheating/not cheating thing was black and white. Now I'm a little more humble and realise that there are some instances in which people have extremely different needs from their partners, perhaps due to disabilities, age gap, or just simply huge differences in libido due to medical conditions or other biological reasons. To cut a long story short. I now understand that there are instances in which partners respect their other partner's needs but would rather not know the nitty gritty detail about it all. It seems a shame that there isn't a way to deal with this in a more enlightened way here on Fab. But I can't think of a solution at the mo "
A well thought out comment... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there is an element of protecting the perception,
Swinging is a personal thing to each couple, it is something which is shared between loving partners and for an attached male to be using it to look for sex outside of his relationship is going against the individuals perception and therefore discredited openly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you really need to ask why cheating on your partner is wrong and why you'd get abuse for it?  "
Don't see why people who cheat should get abuse for it
Yes its maybe wrong but what gives others the rights to be abusive? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am sure some will have pleasure in "shooting me down" after reading this post;
I have been on the swinging scene with my ex wife for many years off and on and afterwards with my lovely female FB partner and I am Bisexual man with an insatiable appetite for sex and attached
All of which is pretty much contained in my profile
I know I am not the only attached or married person playing on here without their partner/husband//wife knowing
So why do we in same situation, get lots of abuse ?
Jon steps back and look for fall out ..............."
A friend and I got on the subject
Of swinging. And she seemed to
Think that if a couple were swinging, it is a form of cheating and not to be confused with a loving couple who are monogamous and committed to each other!
 |
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what would a psychologist make of that I wonder 