FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > I know we are soft swingers but..
I know we are soft swingers but..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Jools and I have talked this over and like to dirty talk when having sex.
But the idea of watching a guy take her from behind and slide his cock deep inside her is such a turn on.
The fear is reality rarely lives upto fantasy, also we have always been happy to keep sex out of meets, feel that maybe it will add more.
Have discussed this before.
Maybe it's a case of going with the flow and if it feels right at the time go with it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jools and I have talked this over and like to dirty talk when having sex.
But the idea of watching a guy take her from behind and slide his cock deep inside her is such a turn on.
The fear is reality rarely lives upto fantasy, also we have always been happy to keep sex out of meets, feel that maybe it will add more.
Have discussed this before.
Maybe it's a case of going with the flow and if it feels right at the time go with it.
"
What fear do you have?
If it doesn't go well, surely you just chat about it afterwards and then decide if you want to do it again? |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
It can be really difficult moving from soft to hard play - it cannot be undone, so be really sure before you take that step.
Its maybe more about finding the right person to take it further with?
I wish you both well, I always find your posts reasoned and well thought through, so take it at your own pace x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It can be really difficult moving from soft to hard play - it cannot be undone, so be really sure before you take that step.
Its maybe more about finding the right person to take it further with?
I wish you both well, I always find your posts reasoned and well thought through, so take it at your own pace x"
Thank you.
And thanks for all other comments.
Food for thought definitely.
As for what is the fear. That's a good point we will discuss this and see what we come up with.
Cheers. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
Each to their own and I wouldn't want you to do anything you are uncomfortable, but look at it this way. The majority of swinging couples start off with soft swap, then move on the full swap, but very few of them decided to go back to soft swap because full swap is so much fun.
Although you can't take it back of you don't like it, you don't have to do it again if it's not for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It can be really difficult moving from soft to hard play - it cannot be undone, so be really sure before you take that step.
Its maybe more about finding the right person to take it further with?
I wish you both well, I always find your posts reasoned and well thought through, so take it at your own pace x"
 Especially about the OP's posts. 
If it was me I'd pick someone that was a stranger and who lived some distance away. My reasoning being- that if it didn't go as well as we'd hoped, I would find it difficult if I ever saw that person again as it would remind me of it. |
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"Jools and I have talked this over and like to dirty talk when having sex.
But the idea of watching a guy take her from behind and slide his cock deep inside her is such a turn on.
The fear is reality rarely lives upto fantasy, also we have always been happy to keep sex out of meets, feel that maybe it will add more.
Have discussed this before.
Maybe it's a case of going with the flow and if it feels right at the time go with it.
"
The big fear for me when we started out was that it would somehow change things between us, change the way A thought of me and vice versa. My fears were allayed by talking and gentle experimentation and as you say going with the flow and the feeling that its right.
If you're strong in your relationship and nothing I've read leads me to believe otherwise you'll be ok.
Hope whatever you do turns out to be best for all concerned |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Such a turn on for who, you or Jules?
If I were a couple in your situ I'd stick with soft swing.
You say yourself you are happy to keep sex out of it, so I would! |
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"Jools and I have talked this over and like to dirty talk when having sex.
But the idea of watching a guy take her from behind and slide his cock deep inside her is such a turn on.
The fear is reality rarely lives upto fantasy, also we have always been happy to keep sex out of meets, feel that maybe it will add more.
Have discussed this before.
Maybe it's a case of going with the flow and if it feels right at the time go with it.
"
The first time we tried it we were both worried about so many things. We set up a coded conversation to ensure things could stop at any point if either of us got cold feet. (We were worried about offending the other chap too if we just said something like "sorry, Mrs ddc doesn't find you attractive enough"). I had also laid it on very thick to him that probably nothing would happen, so his expectations were low.
As it was, Mrs ddc forgot the codeword, but I felt her wrapping her lips around his cock probably sufficed, and all was good.
Take it slow, and enjoy yourselves.
Best of luck
Mr ddc |
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"Jools and I have talked this over and like to dirty talk when having sex.
But the idea of watching a guy take her from behind and slide his cock deep inside her is such a turn on.
The fear is reality rarely lives upto fantasy, also we have always been happy to keep sex out of meets, feel that maybe it will add more.
Have discussed this before.
Maybe it's a case of going with the flow and if it feels right at the time go with it.
"
Believe me having your lady look at you just as another man enters her is amazing. Even better to see his cum inside her after he pulls out |
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By *onesal20Couple
over a year ago
North East England |
Not as much as a turn on as seeing her sit on his cock, leaning forward then you slipping your cock in too
Plenty of lube for the first in and the second will just glide in (well with a bit of manoeuvring) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The big fear for me when we started out was that it would somehow change things between us, change the way A thought of me and vice versa."
But all relationships change. Everyone changes how they feel about people. Change is natural and should be embraced.
Sometimes you change and you become closer with someone, sometimes you change and become less close with someone. That's ok too, it's just the way the world works. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The big fear for me when we started out was that it would somehow change things between us, change the way A thought of me and vice versa.
But all relationships change. Everyone changes how they feel about people. Change is natural and should be embraced.
Sometimes you change and you become closer with someone, sometimes you change and become less close with someone. That's ok too, it's just the way the world works."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no partner, but i think talking about this between yourselves is the best option first.
Then you need to find a guy that will not take advantage or throw a hissy fit if either of you decided not to take it further.
Its all about respect at the end of the day, your body, your rules even if they change halfway through. |
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"The big fear for me when we started out was that it would somehow change things between us, change the way A thought of me and vice versa.
But all relationships change. Everyone changes how they feel about people. Change is natural and should be embraced.
Sometimes you change and you become closer with someone, sometimes you change and become less close with someone. That's ok too, it's just the way the world works."
Yes I know they do, you can't be with the same person for 34 years and not have the nature of your relationship change and evolve. Just as change is inevitable and to be embraced often so is concern about the nature of that change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We were really nervous about going from soft to full swap as well. We just didn't know if it was a step we wanted or needed to take. But we did, and we love it. We did, however, talk it to death before we did make the change. We talked about ever aspect of it. We also started out slow, with all the restrictions we wanted, and then loosened them as we tried things and saw how we felt about everything. We still prefer to play soft on a first meet so we can all get a feel for each other before going to full swap.
I don't know if that will help you, but I thought I would throw our experience out there for you. I would say talk it over until there is nothing left to talk about. We moved to full, and have never looked back  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We were really nervous about going from soft to full swap as well. We just didn't know if it was a step we wanted or needed to take. But we did, and we love it. We did, however, talk it to death before we did make the change. We talked about ever aspect of it. We also started out slow, with all the restrictions we wanted, and then loosened them as we tried things and saw how we felt about everything. We still prefer to play soft on a first meet so we can all get a feel for each other before going to full swap.
I don't know if that will help you, but I thought I would throw our experience out there for you. I would say talk it over until there is nothing left to talk about. We moved to full, and have never looked back "
Thanks xx
All opinions and advice very welcome. |
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"We were really nervous about going from soft to full swap as well. We just didn't know if it was a step we wanted or needed to take. But we did, and we love it. We did, however, talk it to death before we did make the change. We talked about ever aspect of it. We also started out slow, with all the restrictions we wanted, and then loosened them as we tried things and saw how we felt about everything. We still prefer to play soft on a first meet so we can all get a feel for each other before going to full swap.
I don't know if that will help you, but I thought I would throw our experience out there for you. I would say talk it over until there is nothing left to talk about. We moved to full, and have never looked back
Thanks xx
All opinions and advice very welcome. "
I'm not sure how much other peoples opinions and advice are to be honest. Other peoples experiences might give you some food for thought but ultimately there are only two opinions that really count in this instance. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""How much use" that should say"
True, but it's always wise to seek council from people who have experience in the subject you are asking about.
Weather that advice is good or bad is another thing.
But if people have taken the time and effort to offer said advice we are certainly not going to ignore it.
As you say, food for thought definitely.
Whatever we decide to do it will be right for us and discussed carefully beforehand.
Thanks for your input, it's always welcome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We actually posted a thread when we were trying to decide whether we should go to full swap. We didn't get many replies, and most just said "do what is right for you." Now, don't get me wrong, we appreciate the reality that our opinions matter above those of others in these issues. But at the same time we really wish we had heard more of other people experiences, just to give us an idea of what to expect or what could happen.
Having said that, I offer our experience as an anecdote, not as a manual. Hope it is helpful even if just to get you thinking. |
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""How much use" that should say
True, but it's always wise to seek council from people who have experience in the subject you are asking about.
Weather that advice is good or bad is another thing.
But if people have taken the time and effort to offer said advice we are certainly not going to ignore it.
As you say, food for thought definitely.
Whatever we decide to do it will be right for us and discussed carefully beforehand.
Thanks for your input, it's always welcome "
Oh yes. I was giving advice earlier on lol. I'm just thinking aloud really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have always been a jealous person but am quite open to ideas so when we first tried swinging I made the rules, I was quite strict and said no kissing the opposite sex, no full sex - the list went on...each time we went to a club our boundaries stretched and last month we went full swap - 6 months ago if someone told me I would enjoy watching him have sex with another woman I'd have said they were mad! Truth is now I not only have enjoyed watching him have sex with them, I've enjoyed the sex I've had and enjoyed the sex we get at home afterwards, it's like being on a real high. We agreed beforehand if we didn't enjoy it then we would put it behind us like it never happened and move on but we loved it and I can't see us stopping just yet! |
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