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Women's advice (not sexual)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok so today I got a call from an ex from like 8 years ago! We spoke for about an hour (like we used to) I still care for her! Her relationship is falling apart (she claims) she wants to meet up! Do I go and see what happens! Although I don't want to get my hopes up. I also don't want to get hurt!
Anybody got any suggestions or advice? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't do it...wait to see what happens to her relationship first. You have no evidence that her relationship is under strain.
You'll only end up being 'the other man'. |
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...Hello darkness my old friend... as the song goes.
Been there, done it. In my experience, it doesn't turn out well. I suspect there might be the temptation of a little fun in the short term, but I suspect you may end up paying in teh long term.
On the other hand, could all work out perfectly! (I am, however, a pessimist) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so today I got a call from an ex from like 8 years ago! We spoke for about an hour (like we used to) I still care for her! Her relationship is falling apart (she claims) she wants to meet up! Do I go and see what happens! Although I don't want to get my hopes up. I also don't want to get hurt!
Anybody got any suggestions or
advice?"
Hell no! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm going to say that it may be worth a shot. Adam and I have been together almost 2 years...we dated when we were younger, broke up, went our separate ways...and 17 years later...got back together. We had never forgotten each other and are better now that we ever were. It can happen. Good luck to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mate key is in what your wrote her relationship is "falling" apart. Not fell apart, not over but falling.
In other words she's still with the bloke that means you are one of two things
1)a weapon to hurt him/make him jealous either to try and win him back or just to be spiteful, either way you're not a long term prospect and you're gonna have to deal with the guy (you happy with@ potentially big angry man coming for you?)
2) you're the next branch, like monkeys she ain't letting go of the existing branch till she has a firm grip on the other, you'll be there to make sure she has a place to stay, someone to loom after her and be some emotional support, but again you're not a long term prospect just a janitor to clean up the mess and keep her till she moves onto the next man.
So choices are bang and run or just run.
Since you're already getting emotionally involved after one phone chat you aren't going to be able to do the first choice without getting hurt, so lad head down pump those arms and imagine that prehistoric tiger snapping at your heels. |
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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago
so near and yet so far.... |
"Mate key is in what your wrote her relationship is "falling" apart. Not fell apart, not over but falling.
In other words she's still with the bloke that means you are one of two things
1)a weapon to hurt him/make him jealous either to try and win him back or just to be spiteful, either way you're not a long term prospect and you're gonna have to deal with the guy (you happy with@ potentially big angry man coming for you?)
2) you're the next branch, like monkeys she ain't letting go of the existing branch till she has a firm grip on the other, you'll be there to make sure she has a place to stay, someone to loom after her and be some emotional support, but again you're not a long term prospect just a janitor to clean up the mess and keep her till she moves onto the next man.
So choices are bang and run or just run.
Since you're already getting emotionally involved after one phone chat you aren't going to be able to do the first choice without getting hurt, so lad head down pump those arms and imagine that prehistoric tiger snapping at your heels."
This sounds like good advice....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mate key is in what your wrote her relationship is "falling" apart. Not fell apart, not over but falling.
In other words she's still with the bloke that means you are one of two things
1)a weapon to hurt him/make him jealous either to try and win him back or just to be spiteful, either way you're not a long term prospect and you're gonna have to deal with the guy (you happy with@ potentially big angry man coming for you?)
2) you're the next branch, like monkeys she ain't letting go of the existing branch till she has a firm grip on the other, you'll be there to make sure she has a place to stay, someone to loom after her and be some emotional support, but again you're not a long term prospect just a janitor to clean up the mess and keep her till she moves onto the next man.
So choices are bang and run or just run.
Since you're already getting emotionally involved after one phone chat you aren't going to be able to do the first choice without getting hurt, so lad head down pump those arms and imagine that prehistoric tiger snapping at your heels."
I was thinking of number 2. She needs apace to sort this relationship out first. |
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"To those who said she's an ex for a reason the reason was we were too young I was paying more attention to my Xbox than her! "
Ok, as someone who had an ex like this, let me ask you this:
1) Why did you pay more attention to the xbox?
2) Had she tried to talk to you about it? (I ask this as I raised the issue MANY times with my ex, and although he never said it, the clear answer was that he didn't care for or respect me enough to change something that was hurting me).
Just think back, were there arguments? Did she bore you?
- Amy. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say, stay in touch, it's been a while, things will have changed a bit. See what she is up to now, see how you both get along on the phone and mainly, wait for her relationship to finish before you meet up.
Sounds like you split up last time for a valid reason, so why shouldn't it work a 2nd time around. Even if you only stay mates it could be a good thing.
All the best to you and I hope it works out for the best.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To those who said she's an ex for a reason the reason was we were too young I was paying more attention to my Xbox than her!
Ok, as someone who had an ex like this, let me ask you this:
1) Why did you pay more attention to the xbox?
2) Had she tried to talk to you about it? (I ask this as I raised the issue MANY times with my ex, and although he never said it, the clear answer was that he didn't care for or respect me enough to change something that was hurting me).
Just think back, were there arguments? Did she bore you?
- Amy. x"
No she never mentioned anything about the Xbox until the phone call last night the way she put it when we split was its like we're just friends not boyfriend and girlfriend and no only argument ever had was with me and her mum! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To those who said she's an ex for a reason the reason was we were too young I was paying more attention to my Xbox than her! "
This is why a family member of mine and her split up, coz he was more interested in video games than her.
I've also experienced this in the past, video games just destroys relationship's |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think about why the relationship broke up. Do you really want to go there again?
An ex is usually an ex for a reason."
This!
& She could be using you to make Her man jealous because she knows you still care. Or maybe just wanting to feel better coz she knows you care.
Don't do anything until she is single and can prove it.
As the quote about said, she's an ex for a reason xxx
I've been through this...PM if you need |
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