FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > marriage better or worse since fab
marriage better or worse since fab
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Joined another swap site in September then this one.Met about 15 guys altogether.Neither one of us has had any jealousy issues,but we are coming off soon due to our house being up for sale,and I think my marriage is not as good as it was before we came on here.For me it's made me very confident,not so much Mr.Think I've had too much if a good thing.What do you think ? |
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Interesting post and an honest one. You are talking about couples who swing together, Unlikely many will admit it has not been good for the relationship. for fear of the anti-cheat brigade. I am neither married, nor doing without my partner's knowledge, but we are on the road to buying a house together and .... all that goes with that. No sure I personally need to continue here for the foreseeable future (her). |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
I think we are stronger since we started swinging in January. We have seen family and friends ripped apart by infidelity, so we thought let's not let that happen to us. Every country, culture, religion, period in history etc. has had infidelity so we assume monogamy isn't what humans are designed for. This way we can have fun and give into those urges without it being a threat to our marriage. It also means that if we can talk about this, then we can really talk about anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Monogamy just isn't for us. We have a richer, more adventerous sex life since joining fab. The opportunity to explore each others fantasies in real life is bringing us closer together - although we have been very considerate towards each other throughout and we only meet when we are both totally happy with the arrangements and partners and mood etc. This has meant sometimes I have turned down swinging opportunities I really really wanted simply because it wasn't right for Mr. We have to go at a pace that is comfortable for both of us.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This sort of thing (swinging, swapping)
can test your relationship, we were both very worried about each other and what we would do but we stuck at it and chat other couple separately.
We still have worries but talk to each other about our worries, as we are still new to this, we don't know what we many or may not like in a year or 10 years but we will still be together, we hope lol |
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Swinging hasn't made us stronger, we were strong to start with,, we do communicate better,, and our sex life is definately more exciting,,
We are still new to swinging so we are not experts by far,, but I do hope things never change between us because of this  |
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We got married very young i was 17 Paul 19 Paul was my first. I just wanted to see what another cock felt like. Our first time was a 3some on holiday with a young German lad 20 I was 24 Paul 26 that was 36 years ago.It put us on the road to swinging had a great life made our marriage very happy and strong.
Happier than any of our friends who most have gone behind each other or been married before. We have never cheated on each no needed to which we both have admitted to each other we would have done.
Swinging as saved our marriage none of our friends have a clue about this side of our life |
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"Monogamy just isn't for us. We have a richer, more adventerous sex life since joining fab. The opportunity to explore each others fantasies in real life is bringing us closer together - although we have been very considerate towards each other throughout and we only meet when we are both totally happy with the arrangements and partners and mood etc. This has meant sometimes I have turned down swinging opportunities I really really wanted simply because it wasn't right for Mr. We have to go at a pace that is comfortable for both of us. "
Monogamy isn't that some sort of tropical hardwood?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's brought us a lot more bumps in the road than we would have otherwise had but I feel it's made us know each other in a way that wouldn't have been possible before. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Monogamy is basically unnatural however indoctrination during our formative years elevates sex to the pinacle of importance and consequently greatly prizes monogamy.
If people identified sex as a pleasant bodily function, like many experienced swingers do, there would be far less hurt and divorce in this world. Relationships could focus on the more destructive areas of relationships like, violence, lack of support, belittling of spouse, financial irrisponsibility, unreasonable behaviour and lack of affection.
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Has made no difference to our relationship.
Swinging is just some extra fun.
Sex is sex and I'm sorry to hear that it has made the relationship less stable. But I would hazard a guess that if swinging has highlighted difficulties, then not swinging may have just delayed those same difficulties.
I would quit swinging tomorrow if my wife asked me to, I'd also swing every weekend if she asked me to. In the end it's my wife who I enjoy having fun with, everything else is just icing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has made no difference to our relationship.
Swinging is just some extra fun.
Sex is sex and I'm sorry to hear that it has made the relationship less stable. But I would hazard a guess that if swinging has highlighted difficulties, then not swinging may have just delayed those same difficulties.
I would quit swinging tomorrow if my wife asked me to, I'd also swing every weekend if she asked me to. In the end it's my wife who I enjoy having fun with, everything else is just icing."
What lovely sentiments....heres to more icing and all the other tempting 'cake decorations' that are available....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has made no difference to our relationship.
Swinging is just some extra fun.
Sex is sex and I'm sorry to hear that it has made the relationship less stable. But I would hazard a guess that if swinging has highlighted difficulties, then not swinging may have just delayed those same difficulties.
I would quit swinging tomorrow if my wife asked me to, I'd also swing every weekend if she asked me to. In the end it's my wife who I enjoy having fun with, everything else is just icing."
Couldnt say it any better . Its just extra fun ! Its just sex ....( a few folk take this swinging stuff much to serioulsy ) |
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"Has made no difference to our relationship.
Swinging is just some extra fun.
Sex is sex and I'm sorry to hear that it has made the relationship less stable. But I would hazard a guess that if swinging has highlighted difficulties, then not swinging may have just delayed those same difficulties.
I would quit swinging tomorrow if my wife asked me to, I'd also swing every weekend if she asked me to. In the end it's my wife who I enjoy having fun with, everything else is just icing.
What lovely sentiments....heres to more icing and all the other tempting 'cake decorations' that are available.... "
Thanks. It's always tricky being honest because it would put off some future meets as they may read it and feel it some how devalues the people we have fun with.
We do respect others but it is about our fun.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has made no difference to our relationship.
Swinging is just some extra fun.
Sex is sex and I'm sorry to hear that it has made the relationship less stable. But I would hazard a guess that if swinging has highlighted difficulties, then not swinging may have just delayed those same difficulties.
I would quit swinging tomorrow if my wife asked me to, I'd also swing every weekend if she asked me to. In the end it's my wife who I enjoy having fun with, everything else is just icing."
Exactly!!!!  |
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I find your post really interesting.
Marriage isn't about sex at all. Or maybe I should say marriage isn't just about sex.
It's great that your confidence has increased but that is a very telling phrase.
What do you mean by 'more confident'? You are confident because men give you sexual attention ?
I'd be wary of your confusion. Men will always give you sexual attention BUT surely your husband, your marriage gives you so much more ??
Are you saying you stayed with him because he was all you had and now you know your shaggable he can be dropped ?
I don't know what you mean by 'increased confidence' or what you mean by 'your marriage isn't better for swinging' ...
I wouldn't use male attention as a sound gauge for a good or not good marriage.
List what you think a marriage should provided. If your not getting it work on making it happen. If it still doesn't happen then it's time to split but it doesn't mean that swinging broke it.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No I was confident before,I got male attention before.I joined the site cos Mr wanted to,I wasnt bothered either way.But he has not got anything from it.Ive really enjoyed it.Now he`s just a bit sulky and sarcy,snide comments about me dressing up for other men,and about how much I like cock.Its caused friction between us,but were not gonna fall out over it.I just think it wasnt what my husband thought it would be. |
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
It hasn't made any difference to us, we were good before and are the same now. This was an experiment at first and we decided we liked it so we stay, if either of us wanted to stop then we would - with no reservations. We have always had a very fulfilling and adventurous sex life and we would continue to do so without this. This is fun for us but we always have the best sex with just each other, meets are fun but they will never be better than just us  |
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"It hasn't made any difference to us, we were good before and are the same now. This was an experiment at first and we decided we liked it so we stay, if either of us wanted to stop then we would - with no reservations. We have always had a very fulfilling and adventurous sex life and we would continue to do so without this. This is fun for us but we always have the best sex with just each other, meets are fun but they will never be better than just us "
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By *m158Couple
over a year ago
Cork |
We have a great sex life always have had. Fab has given us more fun in the bedroom. It's easy for a lady to get the attention of a man on here she could have a meet any time but men don't have fun so easily we are all on here for the same fun ok we like to play seperate every now and then but it's so much harder for men .......  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No I was confident before,I got male attention before.I joined the site cos Mr wanted to,I wasnt bothered either way.But he has not got anything from it.Ive really enjoyed it.Now he`s just a bit sulky and sarcy,snide comments about me dressing up for other men,and about how much I like cock.Its caused friction between us,but were not gonna fall out over it.I just think it wasnt what my husband thought it would be. "
OP, It would appear hubby expected to get a procession of new women to have sex with and is disappointed it did not pan out that way. That is not the way Fab works.
Finding couples or the elusive single bi woman is hard. I (m) get a massive amount if pleasure from seeing my lady fully satisfied. For a very sexy woman that is best acheived by 3 or 4 experienced men working together to pleasure her.
Fab is predominately a site for the girls. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No your wrong,my husband joined to try out his bi side,he didnt want to really meet any women.But on,y 1 guy out of 15 has really been bi,so I guess Ive been getting all the fun.Cant believe how many men just blatantly lied to us. |
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"I think we are stronger since we started swinging in January. We have seen family and friends ripped apart by infidelity, so we thought let's not let that happen to us. Every country, culture, religion, period in history etc. has had infidelity so we assume monogamy isn't what humans are designed for. This way we can have fun and give into those urges without it being a threat to our marriage. It also means that if we can talk about this, then we can really talk about anything. "
We agree with you, sex with just one person isn't natural; it's certainly not for us! We decided to swing before we married for exactly that reason, and years after getting married we're still doing it regularly. It has certainly made our relationship stronger; we talk about our feelings the day after every play session session, and we have no jealousy, guilt or frustration. Hopefully society will one day accept swinging as normal, but yesterday the radio mentioned three footballers having "a sordid romp with three girls" - what's sordid about a 6-some? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has made no difference to our relationship.
Swinging is just some extra fun.
Sex is sex and I'm sorry to hear that it has made the relationship less stable. But I would hazard a guess that if swinging has highlighted difficulties, then not swinging may have just delayed those same difficulties.
I would quit swinging tomorrow if my wife asked me to, I'd also swing every weekend if she asked me to. In the end it's my wife who I enjoy having fun with, everything else is just icing."
Hit nail on the head there me thinks.
We swing coz it's fun.
Jools likes cock and I am a pervert.
We always been strong, always communicated and had a fantastic sex life long before we discovered swinging.
Think jealousy is natural everyone gets it now and again,it's part of being human. Even happens to animals.
Like you jools confidence has blossomed and I have never seen her so glowing and strong.
I have some self confidence issues with the size of my willy but it doesn't bother me that much as I have lot's more to offer than just my cock.
As a couple we are as strong if not stronger than ever before. Sex is awsome, we both indulge our kinks. Win win situation.
It's not for everyone and as stated maybe it's just highlighted for you issues that where already there.good luck for the future. |
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I think the marriage has to be strong in the first place or there is bound to be problems.
Although Its myself who has been the driving force behind swinging, my wife makes the rules, and its her rules we play by.
I think after 25 years of marriage its added some extra fun and excitement,but for us its important its occasion fun, maybe 3 or 5 times a year, no more. I don't want it to take over out lives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seems to me that maybe hubby's jealous of the attention your getting OP . Ive met cpls in here and on other sites and there always seems to be an undercurrent going on ! One always happier in the situation than the other . And there's always little looks between the two as if to ask if what's happening is ok !
Plus one lady messaged me asing to meet alone which i thought was out of order |
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