FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > The "Hi, how are you?" Message
The "Hi, how are you?" Message
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We've noticed a few profiles getting a bit arsey regarding the above message... "Before you ask, I'm fine" etcetera. Just wondering about the general opinion of this.
Personally we don't mind a quick message of greeting. If we wish to chat then we will respond, if not they haven't wasted ten minutes writing an essay which was ignored. As long as they don't continue the conversation with one cliched sentence per message  |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"A lot of the time, we've found that the initial 'hi, how are you?' Is the highlight of the conversation.
It very rarely improves after that."
This 
Which is why we just delete them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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While I would say that there's nothing inherently wrong with 'Hi, how are you?' as an opener to a message, I do tend to agree with comments regarding the use of this as the entirety of the message.
Consider this. In a social situation, environment, etc, 'Hi, How are you?' is a conversation starter.
When sending someone a message, you need to get in most of what you want to say, talk about in your message, and I'm pretty sure that this is why many of these messages get deleted.
I've had one or two myself - some even shorter.
It's all very well being polite, but how about getting to the point of why you are contacting someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"While I would say that there's nothing inherently wrong with 'Hi, how are you?' as an opener to a message, I do tend to agree with comments regarding the use of this as the entirety of the message.
Consider this. In a social situation, environment, etc, 'Hi, How are you?' is a conversation starter.
When sending someone a message, you need to get in most of what you want to say, talk about in your message, and I'm pretty sure that this is why many of these messages get deleted.
I've had one or two myself - some even shorter.
It's all very well being polite, but how about getting to the point of why you are contacting someone."
So, Hi, how are you? Fancy a fuck? would work?!  |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
No problems with one line messages we will reply, if the one liners continue then we lose interest and stop replying. The "fancy a fuck" emails do get a reply although not necessarily very polite but they will be very sarcastic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A thought out message can still be 2 paragraphs and easy to read,
Doesn't need to be an essay but a bit of thought goes a long way
Hi how are you, is just that, there is no request no intro or info, the only retort really is "fine thanks, you" and then its going to go on and on like that,
A bit irritating and not something constructive like you want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of the time, we've found that the initial 'hi, how are you?' Is the highlight of the conversation.
It very rarely improves after that."
That is my experience, too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love profiles that say that because it let's me know who NEVER to message, i know men do get tarred with a similar brush on here, but some of us are just as selective in meets, the reason I think men get tarred with the same brush is a lot of men think 'fuck it' and message EVERYONE with a 'fancy a fuck' like fishing with a big net hoping to catch a straggler or two, but a lot of men on here choose wisely who we message and I see nothing wrong with a simple hello to start with..I think the people that want more are the same kind that expect someone to jump through hoops to fuck them...
The pleasure should be always be mutual, I'm flattered you 'want' me to fuck you.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love profiles that say that because it let's me know who NEVER to message, i know men do get tarred with a similar brush on here, but some of us are just as selective in meets, the reason I think men get tarred with the same brush is a lot of men think 'fuck it' and message EVERYONE with a 'fancy a fuck' like fishing with a big net hoping to catch a straggler or two, but a lot of men on here choose wisely who we message and I see nothing wrong with a simple hello to start with..I think the people that want more are the same kind that expect someone to jump through hoops to fuck them...
The pleasure should be always be mutual, I'm flattered you 'want' me to fuck you...."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love profiles that say that because it let's me know who NEVER to message, i know men do get tarred with a similar brush on here, but some of us are just as selective in meets, the reason I think men get tarred with the same brush is a lot of men think 'fuck it' and message EVERYONE with a 'fancy a fuck' like fishing with a big net hoping to catch a straggler or two, but a lot of men on here choose wisely who we message and I see nothing wrong with a simple hello to start with..I think the people that want more are the same kind that expect someone to jump through hoops to fuck them...
The pleasure should be always be mutual, I'm flattered you 'want' me to fuck you...."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love profiles that say that because it let's me know who NEVER to message, i know men do get tarred with a similar brush on here, but some of us are just as selective in meets, the reason I think men get tarred with the same brush is a lot of men think 'fuck it' and message EVERYONE with a 'fancy a fuck' like fishing with a big net hoping to catch a straggler or two, but a lot of men on here choose wisely who we message and I see nothing wrong with a simple hello to start with..I think the people that want more are the same kind that expect someone to jump through hoops to fuck them...
The pleasure should be always be mutual, I'm flattered you 'want' me to fuck you...."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do these people go on booking into a hotel...
Receptionist: "Hi there, how are you"
A'hole: "Really is that all you can fucking offer me!!!""
Indeed, isn't context wonderful  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I were to be cynical, I would argue that most of the time, from my experience, the contents of a message are pretty much irrelevant, as they seldom get read anyway.
Rather frustrating when you've put time and effort into crafting a message for someone, only for it to sit ignored.
Mind you, all those 'offending' recipients would be gutted if i'd been offering them a 'Cash Prize' for simply replying to a message, lol
The point I think i'm trying to make is one of not denying oneself opportunities. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have had such messages over the times some have got little better others have led to great times with a meet so never dis any message but that's how we roll lol |
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Whilst I get that people don't always like the short 'hi how are you' type messages but surely a polite message like that is better than a long winded torrent of information about who they are, what they like and what they would like to do in a meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I were to be cynical, I would argue that most of the time, from my experience, the contents of a message are pretty much irrelevant, as they seldom get read anyway.
Rather frustrating when you've put time and effort into crafting a message for someone, only for it to sit ignored.
Mind you, all those 'offending' recipients would be gutted if i'd been offering them a 'Cash Prize' for simply replying to a message, lol
The point I think i'm trying to make is one of not denying oneself opportunities."
How do you know a message isnt read?
The site makes it possible to read a message,then mark as unread.all these guys bleating their messages aren't read,what they really mean is,they aren't getting the response they wanted or feel they deserve. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i'm curious as to what sort of first message people would like, the "fancy a fuck" one is generally frowned upon here, but other than a general greeting what else is there really? the only conversation starters you have are what the person has in their profile, which is usually about what they want to get from a meet, so a message from anyone would just read like a list of how they would give you those things. or am i missing something? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'm curious as to what sort of first message people would like, the "fancy a fuck" one is generally frowned upon here, but other than a general greeting what else is there really? the only conversation starters you have are what the person has in their profile, which is usually about what they want to get from a meet, so a message from anyone would just read like a list of how they would give you those things. or am i missing something? "
Its how you are with a message.
If it sounds copy and pasted i dont reply |
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I think hi how are you is polite but a bit short. A couple of sentences to let the recipient know that you have read their profile and are literate doesn't do any harm in my book. Although I don't remember a time when I was messaged by a lady first. It can be quite frustrating as a decent polite male, to see your message left unread or just deleted with no response. Very bad manners in my book. Even a thanks but no thanks would be better than that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is normally followed up in the next message with a literary masterpiece such as 'horny', better go and lie down you must be exhausted after all that concentration. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think hi how are you is polite but a bit short. A couple of sentences to let the recipient know that you have read their profile and are literate doesn't do any harm in my book. Although I don't remember a time when I was messaged by a lady first. It can be quite frustrating as a decent polite male, to see your message left unread or just deleted with no response. Very bad manners in my book. Even a thanks but no thanks would be better than that. "
Bad manners or they've better things to do than respond to every unsuitable person?
Read the FAQ. No reply means not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't mind it so much. Agreed, it never inspires much confidence but it's not as dull as:
"Wuu2"
We've had that before. A Herculean effort to arouse our curiosity..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perhaps they are shy and just want to make initial contact?
Had a fit woman contact us a few weeks back like this (we both fancied her)..... But......almost every post of hers afterwards was a one liner. It was like getting blood out of a stone tbh....in the end we gave up and blocked her...... One liner is ok as an opening, but vacuous replies grate after a while... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think hi how are you is polite but a bit short. A couple of sentences to let the recipient know that you have read their profile and are literate doesn't do any harm in my book. Although I don't remember a time when I was messaged by a lady first. It can be quite frustrating as a decent polite male, to see your message left unread or just deleted with no response. Very bad manners in my book. Even a thanks but no thanks would be better than that.
Bad manners or they've better things to do than respond to every unsuitable person?
Read the FAQ. No reply means not interested."
that FAQ about no reply meaning not interested?..
really weird...some of my meets have been from contacting them at a later date..
Some get a huge volume of mails..and miss the mail that I sent
dont even fucking get me started on the women and couples who befriend you then dont talk.... |
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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago
Staffordshire Moorlands |
Sometimes they can't even be bothered to spell the three small words involved in 'how are you?' And it is often shortened to 'hw r u?'....if someone cant even manage three whole words totalling 9 letters then it's a non-starter as far as I am concerned. Hence my profile....and my profile isn't meant to be rude or abrupt, it was written very tongue in cheek after a couple of years of 'hw r u' and 'wuu2' messages! |
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"I just ignore them, there is plenty of info on my profile that with just a little intelligence they could come up with something a bit better  "
Now that is a nice write up. Something to get my teeth into and allow me shine.
I do get a little fed up of the "just ask" profiles and just can't be bothered. It's like life, you get out what you out in.
*sorry for the thread hijack*
Jase xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This sounds like a dammed if you do and dammed if you don't thread.
If your opening line is fancy a fuck your wrong. If your opening line is hi how are you? Your wrong.
For those that don't like being asked either please help us non literacy geniuses out by suggesting a better opening |
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I concur with a previous post which says that a message, whatever the content, triggers me to look at the profile and I go from there. That being said, if someone says something obviously nuts, like nice pics (I have one) or nice body (you can my knee only in it) I will be more likely to write them off - as I know they have not read my profile - also I hate those wine and dine messages, they imply I am lonely and needy, but really belong on another site - I prefer a bit of banter, but not everyone can take it |
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"While I would say that there's nothing inherently wrong with 'Hi, how are you?' as an opener to a message, I do tend to agree with comments regarding the use of this as the entirety of the message.
Consider this. In a social situation, environment, etc, 'Hi, How are you?' is a conversation starter.
When sending someone a message, you need to get in most of what you want to say, talk about in your message, and I'm pretty sure that this is why many of these messages get deleted.
I've had one or two myself - some even shorter.
It's all very well being polite, but how about getting to the point of why you are contacting someone."
What, like,
Hi, how are you? Fancy a bum? |
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"
For those that don't like being asked either please help us non literacy geniuses out by suggesting a better opening"
As we are probably some of the arsey ones it would be quite refreshing to receive someting like:
--------------------------------------------------------
Hi my name is A I live near B I'm C years old and have been a member of Fab for X year. I live on my own and can accommodate. I'm looking for Y. I love your profile and wondered if we might be compatible. If you are at all interested please let me know I'm more than happy to send a face photo or chat on the phone, should you wish, to prove that I am genuine. If I'm not for you; no problem. Kind regards Z |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wonder how many are cutting and pasting it right now lol.
My favourite opening message is 'omg are you real'....um no, of course not, I'm just a part of your delusion... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
For those that don't like being asked either please help us non literacy geniuses out by suggesting a better opening
As we are probably some of the arsey ones it would be quite refreshing to receive someting like:
--------------------------------------------------------
Hi my name is A I live near B I'm C years old and have been a member of Fab for X year. I live on my own and can accommodate. I'm looking for Y. I love your profile and wondered if we might be compatible. If you are at all interested please let me know I'm more than happy to send a face photo or chat on the phone, should you wish, to prove that I am genuine. If I'm not for you; no problem. Kind regards Z"
Then you present us with a red book and the this is your life theme tune kicks in.
In seriousness a majority of messages where I do put effort in get deleted which then cheeses me off for bothering and I go back to hi how are you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
For those that don't like being asked either please help us non literacy geniuses out by suggesting a better opening
As we are probably some of the arsey ones it would be quite refreshing to receive someting like:
--------------------------------------------------------
Hi my name is A I live near B I'm C years old and have been a member of Fab for X year. I live on my own and can accommodate. I'm looking for Y. I love your profile and wondered if we might be compatible. If you are at all interested please let me know I'm more than happy to send a face photo or chat on the phone, should you wish, to prove that I am genuine. If I'm not for you; no problem. Kind regards Z
Then you present us with a red book and the this is your life theme tune kicks in.
In seriousness a majority of messages where I do put effort in get deleted which then cheeses me off for bothering and I go back to hi how are you. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'm curious as to what sort of first message people would like, the "fancy a fuck" one is generally frowned upon here, but other than a general greeting what else is there really? the only conversation starters you have are what the person has in their profile, which is usually about what they want to get from a meet, so a message from anyone would just read like a list of how they would give you those things. or am i missing something? "
Be creative - surely there's a reason you wanted to message someone in the first place. If they have nothing on their profile that gives you a clue about the kind of person they are, why on earth would you want to message that person. Or are you saying you'll message anyone, irrespective of the content of their profile and "how are you" is the best you've got. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'm curious as to what sort of first message people would like, the "fancy a fuck" one is generally frowned upon here, but other than a general greeting what else is there really? the only conversation starters you have are what the person has in their profile, which is usually about what they want to get from a meet, so a message from anyone would just read like a list of how they would give you those things. or am i missing something?
Be creative - surely there's a reason you wanted to message someone in the first place. If they have nothing on their profile that gives you a clue about the kind of person they are, why on earth would you want to message that person. Or are you saying you'll message anyone, irrespective of the content of their profile and "how are you" is the best you've got."
They wanted a fuck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In normal conversation, 'Hi, how are you?', is a standard ritual greeting, but online people appear to be jaded by such mundane pastimes as ritualistic greetings. So in a world where supply significantly outstrips demand, it seems entertainment with a certain degree of originality is becoming more the order of the day. For many single males I imagine it feels like BGT, with a continual claxon of red Xs as each audition fails to impress the judges.
But with a raging hard on they persist playing "Hello, how are you?" on a comb. Then in a blinding flash of inspiration, when the hard on has subsided for once, they think the judges are looking for a full blown rendition of "Let me entertain you". Only to be greeted by a red X again as it's 'too karaoke'
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Saying hello is fine, but half a line is a bit shit tbh."
Agree but what if the subject line is hi how are you? The way some people are saying on here they would delete it straight away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Saying hello is fine, but half a line is a bit shit tbh.
Agree but what if the subject line is hi how are you? The way some people are saying on here they would delete it straight away. "
Depends how they follow it up, attach pics etc. As a couple we go to some length to compose good messages to singles and cpls, and so single men should not get a free pass in just sending crap. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love profiles that say that because it let's me know who NEVER to message, i know men do get tarred with a similar brush on here, but some of us are just as selective in meets, the reason I think men get tarred with the same brush is a lot of men think 'fuck it' and message EVERYONE with a 'fancy a fuck' like fishing with a big net hoping to catch a straggler or two, but a lot of men on here choose wisely who we message and I see nothing wrong with a simple hello to start with..I think the people that want more are the same kind that expect someone to jump through hoops to fuck them...
The pleasure should be always be mutual, I'm flattered you 'want' me to fuck you...."
Perfect |
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By *huramMan
over a year ago
London |
Picture the scene.
Someone (who fits your special criteria) sends you a message which reads,
"Hi how are you? "
Because you're interested in them, you reply,
"I'm fine thanks, how are things with you? "
....
Do you know what has happened?
It's the beginning of an actual conversation! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing wrong with that as an opening line. People who make a point of saying they don't want that just have a superiority complex who would moan just as much if you opened up with 'fancy a fuck' |
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By *eithoWoman
over a year ago
Chatham |
If they've read my profile and are my type, they could send a solitary smiley or a simple 'hello'. That's what happens in real life.
I'd sooner that than eight sentences of copy and paste bullshit they've sent to 300 other people, 'fancy a fuck/meet' or my personal favourite 'are you free?'.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being a male on here I must admit I've never received an initial message from a women or a couple so wouldn't know what context it would take.
I do make my messages longer than one line and try to put something relevant from their profile so they know I've paid some interest at least.
I'm on a couple of other mainstream dating sites though and receive regular mesages on there, most of which consist of just one line with no thought, so everyone is guilty of it at some point.
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I always read a profile I like a few times and try to send something that I hope will appeal, and I never cut and paste. But whether or not I ever get a reply seems to be totally random.
A one line joke about a status update is more likely to get a positive response than an essay about how I can fulfill all their desires. |
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By *te tMan
over a year ago
Merseyside |
"I used to get
Boo
Well if thats as much effort that a person uses to message, think how much effort they put into sex.
Needless to say the messages get ignored
"
Not always the case. Never judge a book by its cover.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've noticed a few profiles getting a bit arsey regarding the above message... "Before you ask, I'm fine" etcetera. Just wondering about the general opinion of this.
Personally we don't mind a quick message of greeting. If we wish to chat then we will respond, if not they haven't wasted ten minutes writing an essay which was ignored. As long as they don't continue the conversation with one cliched sentence per message "
The thing I find is many women and couples whole profile is a list of don'ts and so there's nothing you csn use to actually write a message to them so your basically stuck with "Hi how are you" as there's nothing else you can say as you know nothing about them
Seems most women and couples forget the "effort in =reward out" advice that'd always given to blokes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've created masterpieces that Shakespeare Would be proud of. All deleted. I've managed to get one response in over a year of being on this site. Have had more response off the back of forum contributions. And from couples messaging me. Very rarely bother messaging directly now other than friends I've made. Enjoying the site far more as a result |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This sounds like a dammed if you do and dammed if you don't thread.
If your opening line is fancy a fuck your wrong. If your opening line is hi how are you? Your wrong.
For those that don't like being asked either please help us non literacy geniuses out by suggesting a better opening"
Well you could try something like:
"Hi, just found your profile and see that we have similar interests and we live close enough to travel.
Would you be interested in a possible meet or exchanging more messages to get to know each other? "
A bit generic I know, but you get the idea.
(Wonder how many will think it amusing to C&P that into a message for us now?) |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"We've noticed a few profiles getting a bit arsey regarding the above message... "Before you ask, I'm fine" etcetera. Just wondering about the general opinion of this.
Personally we don't mind a quick message of greeting. If we wish to chat then we will respond, if not they haven't wasted ten minutes writing an essay which was ignored. As long as they don't continue the conversation with one cliched sentence per message
The thing I find is many women and couples whole profile is a list of don'ts and so there's nothing you csn use to actually write a message to them so your basically stuck with "Hi how are you" as there's nothing else you can say as you know nothing about them
Seems most women and couples forget the "effort in =reward out" advice that'd always given to blokes"
I suppose I am one of the one's you speak about, as I have covered off at least 5 questions on my profile.
You don't have to write an essay to get my attention just something different, I don't believe I am asking for the world  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This sounds like a dammed if you do and dammed if you don't thread.
If your opening line is fancy a fuck your wrong. If your opening line is hi how are you? Your wrong.
For those that don't like being asked either please help us non literacy geniuses out by suggesting a better opening
Well you could try something like:
"Hi, just found your profile and see that we have similar interests and we live close enough to travel.
Would you be interested in a possible meet or exchanging more messages to get to know each other? "
A bit generic I know, but you get the idea.
(Wonder how many will think it amusing to C&P that into a message for us now?)"
Cue the "fuck off with your copy paste message did you even read our profile" reaponse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This sounds like a dammed if you do and dammed if you don't thread.
If your opening line is fancy a fuck your wrong. If your opening line is hi how are you? Your wrong.
For those that don't like being asked either please help us non literacy geniuses out by suggesting a better opening
Well you could try something like:
"Hi, just found your profile and see that we have similar interests and we live close enough to travel.
Would you be interested in a possible meet or exchanging more messages to get to know each other? "
A bit generic I know, but you get the idea.
(Wonder how many will think it amusing to C&P that into a message for us now?)"
This is I see nothing wrong with that at all. But it's the fact that someone will have seen similar hundreds of times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This sounds like a dammed if you do and dammed if you don't thread.
If your opening line is fancy a fuck your wrong. If your opening line is hi how are you? Your wrong.
For those that don't like being asked either please help us non literacy geniuses out by suggesting a better opening
Well you could try something like:
"Hi, just found your profile and see that we have similar interests and we live close enough to travel.
Would you be interested in a possible meet or exchanging more messages to get to know each other? "
A bit generic I know, but you get the idea.
(Wonder how many will think it amusing to C&P that into a message for us now?)
Cue the "fuck off with your copy paste message did you even read our profile" reaponse"
That isn't a copy and pa_te thank you. As I said, that's a pretty generic example of the type of message we would send, but we aren't serial messengers and any time we do send a message it is written from scratch with the profile of the recipient in mind...
Sadly we find ourselves in a minority...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This sounds like a dammed if you do and dammed if you don't thread.
If your opening line is fancy a fuck your wrong. If your opening line is hi how are you? Your wrong.
For those that don't like being asked either please help us non literacy geniuses out by suggesting a better opening
Well you could try something like:
"Hi, just found your profile and see that we have similar interests and we live close enough to travel.
Would you be interested in a possible meet or exchanging more messages to get to know each other? "
A bit generic I know, but you get the idea.
(Wonder how many will think it amusing to C&P that into a message for us now?)
Cue the "fuck off with your copy paste message did you even read our profile" reaponse
That isn't a copy and pa_te thank you. As I said, that's a pretty generic example of the type of message we would send, but we aren't serial messengers and any time we do send a message it is written from scratch with the profile of the recipient in mind...
Sadly we find ourselves in a minority... "
No I'm saying that's the response any single man would get for sending that message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This sounds like a dammed if you do and dammed if you don't thread.
If your opening line is fancy a fuck your wrong. If your opening line is hi how are you? Your wrong.
For those that don't like being asked either please help us non literacy geniuses out by suggesting a better opening
Well you could try something like:
"Hi, just found your profile and see that we have similar interests and we live close enough to travel.
Would you be interested in a possible meet or exchanging more messages to get to know each other? "
A bit generic I know, but you get the idea.
(Wonder how many will think it amusing to C&P that into a message for us now?)
This is I see nothing wrong with that at all. But it's the fact that someone will have seen similar hundreds of times."
It was a generic example and nothing like the messages that we would send...
Simple answering the question someone asked. |
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By *huramMan
over a year ago
London |
Do some people on this site actually believe that if an opening message lacks, what they construe to be, effort.
This automatically means that the sender of that message would also lack effort during sex?
What a bloody asinine assumption. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This sounds like a dammed if you do and dammed if you don't thread.
If your opening line is fancy a fuck your wrong. If your opening line is hi how are you? Your wrong.
For those that don't like being asked either please help us non literacy geniuses out by suggesting a better opening
Well you could try something like:
"Hi, just found your profile and see that we have similar interests and we live close enough to travel.
Would you be interested in a possible meet or exchanging more messages to get to know each other? "
A bit generic I know, but you get the idea.
(Wonder how many will think it amusing to C&P that into a message for us now?)
Cue the "fuck off with your copy paste message did you even read our profile" reaponse
That isn't a copy and pa_te thank you. As I said, that's a pretty generic example of the type of message we would send, but we aren't serial messengers and any time we do send a message it is written from scratch with the profile of the recipient in mind...
Sadly we find ourselves in a minority...
No I'm saying that's the response any single man would get for sending that message"
I disagree. When we receive a thought out message that shows that they have looked at our profile and made some effort then we will generally reply.
In fact, the example I gave was based, in part, on a message we received on Friday morning from a single gent, whom we subsequently met at Eureka in the evening and spent a very enjoyable time with.
Effort, even a relatively small amount, does reap rewards.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do some people on this site actually believe that if an opening message lacks, what they construe to be, effort.
This automatically means that the sender of that message would also lack effort during sex?
What a bloody asinine assumption. "
We expect far more from a meet than sex.
We want to stimulate our minds and our bodies. If someone is unable to string together a coherent introduction then they simply aren't worth our effort.
It's worked out for us pretty well so far, so we have no intention of changing our approach. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This sounds like a dammed if you do and dammed if you don't thread.
If your opening line is fancy a fuck your wrong. If your opening line is hi how are you? Your wrong.
For those that don't like being asked either please help us non literacy geniuses out by suggesting a better opening
Well you could try something like:
"Hi, just found your profile and see that we have similar interests and we live close enough to travel.
Would you be interested in a possible meet or exchanging more messages to get to know each other? "
A bit generic I know, but you get the idea.
(Wonder how many will think it amusing to C&P that into a message for us now?)
Cue the "fuck off with your copy paste message did you even read our profile" reaponse
That isn't a copy and pa_te thank you. As I said, that's a pretty generic example of the type of message we would send, but we aren't serial messengers and any time we do send a message it is written from scratch with the profile of the recipient in mind...
Sadly we find ourselves in a minority...
No I'm saying that's the response any single man would get for sending that message
I disagree. When we receive a thought out message that shows that they have looked at our profile and made some effort then we will generally reply.
In fact, the example I gave was based, in part, on a message we received on Friday morning from a single gent, whom we subsequently met at Eureka in the evening and spent a very enjoyable time with.
Effort, even a relatively small amount, does reap rewards.
"
Except that message showed non of that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This sounds like a dammed if you do and dammed if you don't thread.
If your opening line is fancy a fuck your wrong. If your opening line is hi how are you? Your wrong.
For those that don't like being asked either please help us non literacy geniuses out by suggesting a better opening
Well you could try something like:
"Hi, just found your profile and see that we have similar interests and we live close enough to travel.
Would you be interested in a possible meet or exchanging more messages to get to know each other? "
A bit generic I know, but you get the idea.
(Wonder how many will think it amusing to C&P that into a message for us now?)
Cue the "fuck off with your copy paste message did you even read our profile" reaponse
That isn't a copy and pa_te thank you. As I said, that's a pretty generic example of the type of message we would send, but we aren't serial messengers and any time we do send a message it is written from scratch with the profile of the recipient in mind...
Sadly we find ourselves in a minority...
No I'm saying that's the response any single man would get for sending that message
I disagree. When we receive a thought out message that shows that they have looked at our profile and made some effort then we will generally reply.
In fact, the example I gave was based, in part, on a message we received on Friday morning from a single gent, whom we subsequently met at Eureka in the evening and spent a very enjoyable time with.
Effort, even a relatively small amount, does reap rewards.
Except that message showed non of that."
As I said, several times, it was a very generic example. I'm not about to post a copy of either a message we received or one we sent.
Can't help but feel you are messing the, very general, point I was attempting to make.
But what do I care; as I already pointed out, thoughtful messages due yield results whereas one liners and copy/pasters do not when it comes to us.
We're happy with our results; if you're happy with yours then why even worry about it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lets be fair, as long as the message isnt rude and you find the person messaging attractive who gives a shit, its a compliment, of course there are idiots you text type and are a waste of time... alri wana fuc .... etc ...
for me as long as someone is polite and im attracted i message back... some of these posts are harsh ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I say 'hi' back its only polite "
I used to do that. Then it's "what you up to" then it's what do you like to do on here and other pointless crappy messages. So I don't bother replying now as ten messages can turn into fifty quite easily. It's a shame because I used to be proud that I always replied. But I've been worn down. Worn down I tell you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I approach a woman in a bar who I've never met I would probably say hello and ask how she is, so when I message a woman or couple on here I do the same, yes you probably get loads starting like that....because it's a polite opening line.
I apologise for all the genuin single men on here, we are so sorry, next time we will just message you saying "me, you, fuck?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I approach a woman in a bar who I've never met I would probably say hello and ask how she is, so when I message a woman or couple on here I do the same, yes you probably get loads starting like that....because it's a polite opening line.
I apologise for all the genuin single men on here, we are so sorry, next time we will just message you saying "me, you, fuck?" "
That's nice. But it's different on here. I would prefer something like. Hi. i fancy you. Here's a face pic. If you fancy me then let's play. But that's just me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I delete hey how are you messages. If they cant be bothered to put some effort in why should I. If this makes me a bitch, so be it!"
Should probably delete the line in your profile where you prefer messages saying hi then.
As you're probably deleting the poor guys who read your profile. |
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I always start with an ice breaker of hey how is you, or how's your weekend, great pics/profile, diving straight in with 'fancy a fuck/shag' is more likely to get a block n deleted message, although 99% of people I've messaged doesn't reply/deletes it or hasn't even read it, I've changed my profile numerous occasions!! |
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By *onyneMan
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Well I guess these are not the ideal messages to receive, though I only get them from other men - and only then now and again - 'what r u into' and stuff like that.
If people are friendly I will respond and have a little chat if I am online anyway, though the difference is that some women and couples on here would be replying forever if they chatted with everyone who messaged them.
The 'wot r u into' message is akin to asking what music you like though...Surely that is a wide and varied palette! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's the laziest thing. You know about me from my profile, but you haven't even acknowledged it.
I just sort of think 'is that seriosly the most interesting first impression you can make?'.
In my opinion, this sorta message is generally symptomatic of people with no imagination. And they better be damn hot if they expect to play with me without that. |
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This thread has me thinking:
1, You're damned if you do and damned if you don't as a single male.
2, You're actually better off asking a "site successful" single male on tips for messaging instead of a single female or couple. Why? Because most of them will spend more time reading messages than writing them. The phrase "practice makes perfect" springs to mind. 
3, Most single men will be happy for a dull message because it might their first in a week/month/year. The select few won't.
It's the ups and downs of Fabs! |
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"Sometimes they can't even be bothered to spell the three small words involved in 'how are you?' And it is often shortened to 'hw r u?'....if someone cant even manage three whole words totalling 9 letters then it's a non-starter as far as I am concerned. Hence my profile....and my profile isn't meant to be rude or abrupt, it was written very tongue in cheek after a couple of years of 'hw r u' and 'wuu2' messages! "
After reading this I just had to be nosy and I think your profile is great, it's to the point, not rude but just says it exactly how it is! I think I need to re-write mine!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We personally feel that there is nothing wrong with starting contact this way, if there's a connection, then things will develop, we do take the time to read profiles who contact us, but if they're not for us, we won't reply. |
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By *azLilyCouple
over a year ago
Liverpool |
It's the messages that say nothing more than 'Hi' which annoy us. On her own profile Lily often just says 'hi' in return. There's plenty of information on her profile and if they can't think of anything constructive to say why should she make the effort? Also, Lily proactively messages other people first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't really see the problem In it tbh it's just being polite isn't it? Or are people really that much of a snob for people to be polite?"
It's hardly the end of the world. Conversation starter. |
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By *huramMan
over a year ago
London |
I suggest there ought to be a minimum number of characters typed in your messages before it can be sent.
Let's say no less than 1000 letters per message.
And that rule will apply to everyone on the website, couples, males and females. |
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By *olarfoxMan
over a year ago
North Cambs |
If I'm not interested it just gets a 'I'm fine thanks' by return.
If I like the look of the profile then I would probably send a reply which would open the door to more communication. I don't think its ever a sign of good things to come though.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a natural structure to any conversation whether it be in real life or online. The part that seems to cause irritation to a lot of people is the 'opener'. But what seems to be expected is to launch straight into the main body of conversation or risk getting ignored. 'Hi, how are you' might as well be translated into; 'I find you attractive, please look at my profile and see it the feeling is mutual'. Obviously if you wrote that you'd sound like a butter! If it escalates from there then I would personally make a lot more effort in my next messages knowing that they were hopefully not going straight in the bin! I get that the ladies are inundated, so there's a need to try and stand out, but please give us the opportunity! Maybe fab should build in a single click button in the style of the Family Fortunes 'inah inah'. |
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