FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Married and bored
Married and bored
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here?" Ask a silly question | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here?" hahaha, in most cases i doubt it.  | |||
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"We were very married and very in love and very bored - then one of us was brave enough to talk about our fantasies and needs and the other one was brave enough to say lets give it a try. Now we are very married, very in love and very horny! Not bored at all!!!! "Great story, the way things should be | |||
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"Great thread (For making private notes )" | |||
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"I was married and bored. I got out of it first then played. " You Sir, are my hero. Rather than lie and sneak about you made the hard decision and showed compassion by having enough respect for your partner to call it off ultimately saving them from a potentially devastating discovery. I commend you. | |||
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"I am married to my childhood sweetheart been married a long time, we tried swinging but she didn't like it, sex has become very boring for me but it's not everything so I couldn't leave her but still am very unsatisfied my wife is a good girl and I need someone abit naughty lol" This is like the standard married man response lol | |||
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"Great thread (For making private notes ) "Least you understood it. Lol | |||
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"I was married and bored. I got out of it first then played. You Sir, are my hero. Rather than lie and sneak about you made the hard decision and showed compassion by having enough respect for your partner to call it off ultimately saving them from a potentially devastating discovery. I commend you. " Thanks mate, hardest decision I ever made, telling my children I wouldn't be living there any more. But I now have the best relationship with them, do more with them and see them loads. | |||
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"I am married to my childhood sweetheart been married a long time, we tried swinging but she didn't like it, sex has become very boring for me but it's not everything so I couldn't leave her but still am very unsatisfied my wife is a good girl and I need someone abit naughty lol This is like the standard married man response lol" It clearly is otherwise you'd go with out | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here?" Is it really any of your business? | |||
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"Great thread (For making private notes )" | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business?" | |||
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"If a profile reeks of 'I'm married and I play away' we block. Saves us the hassle and saves them the emailing. Simple! Use the tools that are there and yiu won't be bothered with those playing away" | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business?" Well said Its a sex site. | |||
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"Great thread (For making private notes )
Least you understood it. Lol"You don't just like me for my looks  | |||
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pop it on your profile and people can make an informed choice.
good luck to them, we are hear for different reasons | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business?" It becomes their business once the attached person cheating contacts them regarding a meet, especially if they don't wish to meet them and encourage the behavior | |||
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"I was married and bored. I got out of it first then played. You Sir, are my hero. Rather than lie and sneak about you made the hard decision and showed compassion by having enough respect for your partner to call it off ultimately saving them from a potentially devastating discovery. I commend you. Thanks mate, hardest decision I ever made, telling my children I wouldn't be living there any more. But I now have the best relationship with them, do more with them and see them loads." Again, you have my respect. If only more married people would simply realise when to call it a day and people would stop helping them engage in sneaking about it would be a better site and indeed a better world for all. Ah well cowards gonna cower. | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? It becomes their business once the attached person cheating contacts them regarding a meet, especially if they don't wish to meet them and encourage the behavior " Yeah then and only then. I've seen that couple hound people on the forum. | |||
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"I was married and bored. I got out of it first then played. You Sir, are my hero. Rather than lie and sneak about you made the hard decision and showed compassion by having enough respect for your partner to call it off ultimately saving them from a potentially devastating discovery. I commend you. " As do I. Doffing my cap to you. (theoretically of course) | |||
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"I was married and bored. I got out of it first then played. You Sir, are my hero. Rather than lie and sneak about you made the hard decision and showed compassion by having enough respect for your partner to call it off ultimately saving them from a potentially devastating discovery. I commend you. As do I. Doffing my cap to you. (theoretically of course)" Thank you Gentlemen - Cap doffed in return in a gentlemanly manner to you both | |||
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"I was married and bored. I got out of it first then played. You Sir, are my hero. Rather than lie and sneak about you made the hard decision and showed compassion by having enough respect for your partner to call it off ultimately saving them from a potentially devastating discovery. I commend you. As do I. Doffing my cap to you. (theoretically of course)" and another here, x not 1 to judge, everybody has different circumstances, but having been in the position where it was my other half cheating, I tend to steer clear where possible of causing anybody else the same pain.  | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? It becomes their business once the attached person cheating contacts them regarding a meet, especially if they don't wish to meet them and encourage the behavior " So they just don't meet them. It's not that difficult. | |||
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"If a profile reeks of 'I'm married and I play away' we block. Saves us the hassle and saves them the emailing. Simple! Use the tools that are there and yiu won't be bothered with those playing away" | |||
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"I was married and bored. I got out of it first then played. You Sir, are my hero. Rather than lie and sneak about you made the hard decision and showed compassion by having enough respect for your partner to call it off ultimately saving them from a potentially devastating discovery. I commend you. Thanks mate, hardest decision I ever made, telling my children I wouldn't be living there any more. But I now have the best relationship with them, do more with them and see them loads. Again, you have my respect. If only more married people would simply realise when to call it a day and people would stop helping them engage in sneaking about it would be a better site and indeed a better world for all. Ah well cowards gonna cower. " What a load of crap.  | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business?" Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Well said Its a sex site. " No this is a swinging site. And swinging is not always about sex! | |||
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"I was married and bored. I got out of it first then played. You Sir, are my hero. Rather than lie and sneak about you made the hard decision and showed compassion by having enough respect for your partner to call it off ultimately saving them from a potentially devastating discovery. I commend you. Thanks mate, hardest decision I ever made, telling my children I wouldn't be living there any more. But I now have the best relationship with them, do more with them and see them loads. Again, you have my respect. If only more married people would simply realise when to call it a day and people would stop helping them engage in sneaking about it would be a better site and indeed a better world for all. Ah well cowards gonna cower. What a load of crap. "In what way ? | |||
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"Personally Im not bothered what people do or not If they are married and cheating so! If they are attached and cheating so! Only person i care about is me and my morals and wellbeing " and that says it all | |||
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"I was married and bored. I got out of it first then played. You Sir, are my hero. Rather than lie and sneak about you made the hard decision and showed compassion by having enough respect for your partner to call it off ultimately saving them from a potentially devastating discovery. I commend you. Thanks mate, hardest decision I ever made, telling my children I wouldn't be living there any more. But I now have the best relationship with them, do more with them and see them loads. Again, you have my respect. If only more married people would simply realise when to call it a day and people would stop helping them engage in sneaking about it would be a better site and indeed a better world for all. Ah well cowards gonna cower. What a load of crap. In what way ?"Not you, but saying it will be a better world & a better site is just rubbish. | |||
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"Another one making private notes here. Except in my case it's notes of people who swear they hate those cheating scumbags then message me trying to meet..." Just got rid of the paragraph about hating cheating scumbags on my profile.....fancy a fuck?!?!  | |||
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"I was married and bored. I got out of it first then played. You Sir, are my hero. Rather than lie and sneak about you made the hard decision and showed compassion by having enough respect for your partner to call it off ultimately saving them from a potentially devastating discovery. I commend you. Thanks mate, hardest decision I ever made, telling my children I wouldn't be living there any more. But I now have the best relationship with them, do more with them and see them loads. Again, you have my respect. If only more married people would simply realise when to call it a day and people would stop helping them engage in sneaking about it would be a better site and indeed a better world for all. Ah well cowards gonna cower. What a load of crap. In what way ?
Not you, but saying it will be a better world & a better site is just rubbish."Oh ok | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ..." "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. | |||
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"Where's my damn medal at? "Gold star bro | |||
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" Not you, but saying it will be a better world & a better site is just rubbish." How would it not? How can you say cheating isn't a bad thing and the world and through swinging community wouldn't be a better place without it? And I'm talking about cheating not completely consensual sex. | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. " Are you married? Have you ever been married? | |||
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" Not you, but saying it will be a better world & a better site is just rubbish. How would it not? How can you say cheating isn't a bad thing and the world and through swinging community wouldn't be a better place without it? And I'm talking about cheating not completely consensual sex. " How does what someone else does affect you? Stop taking the moral high ground. It's none of your business how others lead their lives. It's not a bloody crime to cheat. | |||
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"Number04 im also with you brother, us gents need to stick together. Form a gentlemans club, dress in t, grow moustaches, smoke cigars and discuss women. Actually no, a true gent would never kiss and tell. Hats off sir " No we would not Sir but the t and cigars sound appealing . Bugger I stopped smoking 5 months ago | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. " See those words all sound nice and lovely and wonderful, but they're a massive crock of shit. So fulfil your moral responsibility as you see it and judge away, but also perhaps recognise that you know absolutely nothing about people's circumstances, relationships and reasons for their actions other than what they may choose to tell you. Judge away, do whatever you need to do to feel important and righteous and smug and get your dick wet with someone who's been cheated on in the past so has a chip on their shoulder about it. Delete, block, ignore, avoid - but don't presume to tell me what my reasons are or what is the right or wrong thing for my situation. | |||
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"Where's my damn medal at?
Gold star bro"Gold Star with honours | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. See those words all sound nice and lovely and wonderful, but they're a massive crock of shit. So fulfil your moral responsibility as you see it and judge away, but also perhaps recognise that you know absolutely nothing about people's circumstances, relationships and reasons for their actions other than what they may choose to tell you. Judge away, do whatever you need to do to feel important and righteous and smug and get your dick wet with someone who's been cheated on in the past so has a chip on their shoulder about it. Delete, block, ignore, avoid - but don't presume to tell me what my reasons are or what is the right or wrong thing for my situation. " I don't feel important, righteous or smug. I'm expressing an opinion on an online forum as part of a discussion. I never said anybody has to agree with it. I really don't understand your getting my dick wet part, I'm not playing a white knight for hopes of a shag, this is what I believe in. | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here?" Don't be silly! | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. See those words all sound nice and lovely and wonderful, but they're a massive crock of shit. So fulfil your moral responsibility as you see it and judge away, but also perhaps recognise that you know absolutely nothing about people's circumstances, relationships and reasons for their actions other than what they may choose to tell you. Judge away, do whatever you need to do to feel important and righteous and smug and get your dick wet with someone who's been cheated on in the past so has a chip on their shoulder about it. Delete, block, ignore, avoid - but don't presume to tell me what my reasons are or what is the right or wrong thing for my situation. " This | |||
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"Not that it matters but no because I'm not ready to be married. I've been in long term relationships and called them off because it wasn't working. I have never in my life cheated on or lied to any of my partners. I don't think so lowly of other people. " You have never lied to any of your partners? About anything? Wow .... yes honey, I've been working on my reports all day, not sleeping and/or watching Jeremy Kyle, honestly .... the kids wanted the extra chocolate, not me .... oh no, I am going to hellllllll | |||
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" Not you, but saying it will be a better world & a better site is just rubbish. How would it not? How can you say cheating isn't a bad thing and the world and through swinging community wouldn't be a better place without it? And I'm talking about cheating not completely consensual sex. How does what someone else does affect you? Stop taking the moral high ground. It's none of your business how others lead their lives. It's not a bloody crime to cheat. " Of course it's my business because I don't want to be an unknowing accomplice to destroying some poor persons life, you ever think about that? It's easy to think about some faceless evil woman holding back sex as a weapon against our noble crusader, it's hard to accept that a lying cheating person just wants to fuck other people behind their partners back and you're helping them to do it. Accountability. | |||
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"Not that it matters but no because I'm not ready to be married. I've been in long term relationships and called them off because it wasn't working. I have never in my life cheated on or lied to any of my partners. I don't think so lowly of other people. You have never lied to any of your partners? About anything? Wow .... yes honey, I've been working on my reports all day, not sleeping and/or watching Jeremy Kyle, honestly .... the kids wanted the extra chocolate, not me .... oh no, I am going to hellllllll" Honestly not that I can think of, I've never had a reason to. I'm not saying little white lies are any harm, just the ones where you know someone can get hurt. | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. See those words all sound nice and lovely and wonderful, but they're a massive crock of shit. So fulfil your moral responsibility as you see it and judge away, but also perhaps recognise that you know absolutely nothing about people's circumstances, relationships and reasons for their actions other than what they may choose to tell you. Judge away, do whatever you need to do to feel important and righteous and smug and get your dick wet with someone who's been cheated on in the past so has a chip on their shoulder about it. Delete, block, ignore, avoid - but don't presume to tell me what my reasons are or what is the right or wrong thing for my situation. I don't feel important, righteous or smug. I'm expressing an opinion on an online forum as part of a discussion. I never said anybody has to agree with it. I really don't understand your getting my dick wet part, I'm not playing a white knight for hopes of a shag, this is what I believe in. " And nobody has to agree with my side of the discussion (except some of them will, because I'm right), I'm just exercising my right of reply to being called evil, immoral, cowardly, lacking respect for my partner, lying about my marital vows, taking the easy route (did I miss anything else? Causing cancer perhaps? Genocide? Killing puppies?) Forgive me for becoming cynical with the dick wet comment, perhaps I've just had too many messages from people who doth protest too much against cheating who change their mind if the person is attractive enough. | |||
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"That's a very high horse your on there, careful you don't fall off " I'm stuck on it with duct tape and epoxy resin, safe as houses | |||
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"That's a very high horse your on there, careful you don't fall off I'm stuck on it with duct tape and epoxy resin, safe as houses " fair enough, carry on then | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. See those words all sound nice and lovely and wonderful, but they're a massive crock of shit. So fulfil your moral responsibility as you see it and judge away, but also perhaps recognise that you know absolutely nothing about people's circumstances, relationships and reasons for their actions other than what they may choose to tell you. Judge away, do whatever you need to do to feel important and righteous and smug and get your dick wet with someone who's been cheated on in the past so has a chip on their shoulder about it. Delete, block, ignore, avoid - but don't presume to tell me what my reasons are or what is the right or wrong thing for my situation. I don't feel important, righteous or smug. I'm expressing an opinion on an online forum as part of a discussion. I never said anybody has to agree with it. I really don't understand your getting my dick wet part, I'm not playing a white knight for hopes of a shag, this is what I believe in. And nobody has to agree with my side of the discussion (except some of them will, because I'm right), I'm just exercising my right of reply to being called evil, immoral, cowardly, lacking respect for my partner, lying about my marital vows, taking the easy route (did I miss anything else? Causing cancer perhaps? Genocide? Killing puppies?) Forgive me for becoming cynical with the dick wet comment, perhaps I've just had too many messages from people who doth protest too much against cheating who change their mind if the person is attractive enough. " Anna, did you instigate the demise of Alan the fluffy bunny, hmmmm?! | |||
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"Thing is. You do what you want Conquenses are only an after thought Just like feelings I decided leave em be, they arent hurting me I still know who i will meet and wont. " | |||
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" Not you, but saying it will be a better world & a better site is just rubbish. How would it not? How can you say cheating isn't a bad thing and the world and through swinging community wouldn't be a better place without it? And I'm talking about cheating not completely consensual sex. How does what someone else does affect you? Stop taking the moral high ground. It's none of your business how others lead their lives. It's not a bloody crime to cheat. Of course it's my business because I don't want to be an unknowing accomplice to destroying some poor persons life, you ever think about that? It's easy to think about some faceless evil woman holding back sex as a weapon against our noble crusader, it's hard to accept that a lying cheating person just wants to fuck other people behind their partners back and you're helping them to do it. Accountability. " I would not give yourself that much credit. I am sure those who meet married people on here won't necessarily destroy someone's life. Better to have a quick duck with a stringer on here than develop a long term affair, surely? That is my opinion, based on my experiences. I don't intentionally meet anyone who is married, but I am sure I have, without knowing it. Have also been on the other end of it. That's the truth too | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. See those words all sound nice and lovely and wonderful, but they're a massive crock of shit. So fulfil your moral responsibility as you see it and judge away, but also perhaps recognise that you know absolutely nothing about people's circumstances, relationships and reasons for their actions other than what they may choose to tell you. Judge away, do whatever you need to do to feel important and righteous and smug and get your dick wet with someone who's been cheated on in the past so has a chip on their shoulder about it. Delete, block, ignore, avoid - but don't presume to tell me what my reasons are or what is the right or wrong thing for my situation. I don't feel important, righteous or smug. I'm expressing an opinion on an online forum as part of a discussion. I never said anybody has to agree with it. I really don't understand your getting my dick wet part, I'm not playing a white knight for hopes of a shag, this is what I believe in. And nobody has to agree with my side of the discussion (except some of them will, because I'm right), I'm just exercising my right of reply to being called evil, immoral, cowardly, lacking respect for my partner, lying about my marital vows, taking the easy route (did I miss anything else? Causing cancer perhaps? Genocide? Killing puppies?) Forgive me for becoming cynical with the dick wet comment, perhaps I've just had too many messages from people who doth protest too much against cheating who change their mind if the person is attractive enough. " I can't comment on the top part as it's personal and I don't want to attack you. The bottom three lines are taking it to an extreme though, the lesser of two evils isn't a good thing. Comparing cheating to genocide to make it look less harsh does nothing as the crime is relevant to the person. I'm not surprised by that last part it's funny how many people's constitution fails when they're horny. Actually, no that's kind of been my whole point. | |||
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" Anna, did you instigate the demise of Alan the fluffy bunny, hmmmm?! "Yeah. Might as well pin some more stuff on me too. I stole Shergar. | |||
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" Not you, but saying it will be a better world & a better site is just rubbish. How would it not? How can you say cheating isn't a bad thing and the world and through swinging community wouldn't be a better place without it? And I'm talking about cheating not completely consensual sex. How does what someone else does affect you? Stop taking the moral high ground. It's none of your business how others lead their lives. It's not a bloody crime to cheat. Of course it's my business because I don't want to be an unknowing accomplice to destroying some poor persons life, you ever think about that? It's easy to think about some faceless evil woman holding back sex as a weapon against our noble crusader, it's hard to accept that a lying cheating person just wants to fuck other people behind their partners back and you're helping them to do it. Accountability. I would not give yourself that much credit. I am sure those who meet married people on here won't necessarily destroy someone's life. Better to have a quick duck with a stringer on here than develop a long term affair, surely? That is my opinion, based on my experiences. I don't intentionally meet anyone who is married, but I am sure I have, without knowing it. Have also been on the other end of it. That's the truth too" If anyone then I would have thought you'd understand what I'm saying, a roll in the hay or several is no better than long term affair | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. See those words all sound nice and lovely and wonderful, but they're a massive crock of shit. So fulfil your moral responsibility as you see it and judge away, but also perhaps recognise that you know absolutely nothing about people's circumstances, relationships and reasons for their actions other than what they may choose to tell you. Judge away, do whatever you need to do to feel important and righteous and smug and get your dick wet with someone who's been cheated on in the past so has a chip on their shoulder about it. Delete, block, ignore, avoid - but don't presume to tell me what my reasons are or what is the right or wrong thing for my situation. I don't feel important, righteous or smug. I'm expressing an opinion on an online forum as part of a discussion. I never said anybody has to agree with it. I really don't understand your getting my dick wet part, I'm not playing a white knight for hopes of a shag, this is what I believe in. And nobody has to agree with my side of the discussion (except some of them will, because I'm right), I'm just exercising my right of reply to being called evil, immoral, cowardly, lacking respect for my partner, lying about my marital vows, taking the easy route (did I miss anything else? Causing cancer perhaps? Genocide? Killing puppies?) Forgive me for becoming cynical with the dick wet comment, perhaps I've just had too many messages from people who doth protest too much against cheating who change their mind if the person is attractive enough. I can't comment on the top part as it's personal and I don't want to attack you. The bottom three lines are taking it to an extreme though, the lesser of two evils isn't a good thing. Comparing cheating to genocide to make it look less harsh does nothing as the crime is relevant to the person. I'm not surprised by that last part it's funny how many people's constitution fails when they're horny. Actually, no that's kind of been my whole point. " And that's my whole point - by making a general blanket statement the way you have done, it IS a personal attack, because every single person you've condemned up there as all those things you said (which you then don't want to address when someone has challenged you on them) is a person with reasons and situations you know nothing about. Are there people who cheat who I think are scumbags? Sure! Does that make every person a scumbag? No. And you've missed the point of the genocide quip quite spectacularly. | |||
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" Not you, but saying it will be a better world & a better site is just rubbish. How would it not? How can you say cheating isn't a bad thing and the world and through swinging community wouldn't be a better place without it? And I'm talking about cheating not completely consensual sex. How does what someone else does affect you? Stop taking the moral high ground. It's none of your business how others lead their lives. It's not a bloody crime to cheat. Of course it's my business because I don't want to be an unknowing accomplice to destroying some poor persons life, you ever think about that? It's easy to think about some faceless evil woman holding back sex as a weapon against our noble crusader, it's hard to accept that a lying cheating person just wants to fuck other people behind their partners back and you're helping them to do it. Accountability. I would not give yourself that much credit. I am sure those who meet married people on here won't necessarily destroy someone's life. Better to have a quick duck with a stringer on here than develop a long term affair, surely? That is my opinion, based on my experiences. I don't intentionally meet anyone who is married, but I am sure I have, without knowing it. Have also been on the other end of it. That's the truth too If anyone then I would have thought you'd understand what I'm saying, a roll in the hay or several is no better than long term affair " Of course it's different. A long term affair usually means emotions are involved. A roll in the hay is just sex. | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. See those words all sound nice and lovely and wonderful, but they're a massive crock of shit. So fulfil your moral responsibility as you see it and judge away, but also perhaps recognise that you know absolutely nothing about people's circumstances, relationships and reasons for their actions other than what they may choose to tell you. Judge away, do whatever you need to do to feel important and righteous and smug and get your dick wet with someone who's been cheated on in the past so has a chip on their shoulder about it. Delete, block, ignore, avoid - but don't presume to tell me what my reasons are or what is the right or wrong thing for my situation. I don't feel important, righteous or smug. I'm expressing an opinion on an online forum as part of a discussion. I never said anybody has to agree with it. I really don't understand your getting my dick wet part, I'm not playing a white knight for hopes of a shag, this is what I believe in. And nobody has to agree with my side of the discussion (except some of them will, because I'm right), I'm just exercising my right of reply to being called evil, immoral, cowardly, lacking respect for my partner, lying about my marital vows, taking the easy route (did I miss anything else? Causing cancer perhaps? Genocide? Killing puppies?) Forgive me for becoming cynical with the dick wet comment, perhaps I've just had too many messages from people who doth protest too much against cheating who change their mind if the person is attractive enough. I can't comment on the top part as it's personal and I don't want to attack you. The bottom three lines are taking it to an extreme though, the lesser of two evils isn't a good thing. Comparing cheating to genocide to make it look less harsh does nothing as the crime is relevant to the person. I'm not surprised by that last part it's funny how many people's constitution fails when they're horny. Actually, no that's kind of been my whole point. And that's my whole point - by making a general blanket statement the way you have done, it IS a personal attack, because every single person you've condemned up there as all those things you said (which you then don't want to address when someone has challenged you on them) is a person with reasons and situations you know nothing about. Are there people who cheat who I think are scumbags? Sure! Does that make every person a scumbag? No. And you've missed the point of the genocide quip quite spectacularly. " Fair enough but I personally can't see any scenario where the person being cheated on deserves it and if they do surely they don't deserve to be in a relationship at all? We'll put my missing the quip down to white knight exhaustion, this armour is heavy, the shield hard to hold and the sword blunting from all the fighting. | |||
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" Not you, but saying it will be a better world & a better site is just rubbish. How would it not? How can you say cheating isn't a bad thing and the world and through swinging community wouldn't be a better place without it? And I'm talking about cheating not completely consensual sex. How does what someone else does affect you? Stop taking the moral high ground. It's none of your business how others lead their lives. It's not a bloody crime to cheat. Of course it's my business because I don't want to be an unknowing accomplice to destroying some poor persons life, you ever think about that? It's easy to think about some faceless evil woman holding back sex as a weapon against our noble crusader, it's hard to accept that a lying cheating person just wants to fuck other people behind their partners back and you're helping them to do it. Accountability. I would not give yourself that much credit. I am sure those who meet married people on here won't necessarily destroy someone's life. Better to have a quick duck with a stringer on here than develop a long term affair, surely? That is my opinion, based on my experiences. I don't intentionally meet anyone who is married, but I am sure I have, without knowing it. Have also been on the other end of it. That's the truth too If anyone then I would have thought you'd understand what I'm saying, a roll in the hay or several is no better than long term affair Of course it's different. A long term affair usually means emotions are involved. A roll in the hay is just sex. " No, just...... no. | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. " Lmao...what a load of cheesy bollocks | |||
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" Not you, but saying it will be a better world & a better site is just rubbish. How would it not? How can you say cheating isn't a bad thing and the world and through swinging community wouldn't be a better place without it? And I'm talking about cheating not completely consensual sex. How does what someone else does affect you? Stop taking the moral high ground. It's none of your business how others lead their lives. It's not a bloody crime to cheat. Of course it's my business because I don't want to be an unknowing accomplice to destroying some poor persons life, you ever think about that? It's easy to think about some faceless evil woman holding back sex as a weapon against our noble crusader, it's hard to accept that a lying cheating person just wants to fuck other people behind their partners back and you're helping them to do it. Accountability. I would not give yourself that much credit. I am sure those who meet married people on here won't necessarily destroy someone's life. Better to have a quick duck with a stringer on here than develop a long term affair, surely? That is my opinion, based on my experiences. I don't intentionally meet anyone who is married, but I am sure I have, without knowing it. Have also been on the other end of it. That's the truth too If anyone then I would have thought you'd understand what I'm saying, a roll in the hay or several is no better than long term affair Of course it's different. A long term affair usually means emotions are involved. A roll in the hay is just sex. " Well said. It's a swingers site and people meet for all kinds of reasons and because of all manner of situations. Generalisations about morals and the sanctity of marriage is just incredibly inappropriate on Fab. Get over yourselves. | |||
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"We were very married and very in love and very bored - then one of us was brave enough to talk about our fantasies and needs and the other one was brave enough to say lets give it a try. Now we are very married, very in love and very horny! Not bored at all!!!! "Brilliant - great to hear this | |||
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okay I'll get my coat..... | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Well said Its a sex site. " Its a swinging site not a sex site. Swinging comes in many forms and although sex is involved in some way its not all about shagging the first person that comes along. Swinging has elvolved from wife swapping and the clue lies in the name. Some couples took it to a new level and wished to involve single men. Again the clue is in the name, no couple with morals would ever dream of shagging someones partner without their permission. Unfortunately because the _iew is it a sex site we have thousands of single men and married men playing away trying to get a easy shag. Thats why the forums are full of I am having no luck threads. The first rules of swinging is trust, and truth, so try being truthful and let people make a honest decision of whether they will play with you or not. | |||
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" Fair enough but I personally can't see any scenario where the person being cheated on deserves it and if they do surely they don't deserve to be in a relationship at all? We'll put my missing the quip down to white knight exhaustion, this armour is heavy, the shield hard to hold and the sword blunting from all the fighting. " Who said anything about the person being cheated on "deserving" it? I didn't. But then perhaps it's understandable you think I must believe that, since we're all evil and all. | |||
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" Unfortunately because the _iew is it a sex site we have thousands of single men and married men playing away trying to get a easy shag. " and females
just for balance | |||
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"Look what I've made ~ a DIY white horse emoji, neigh
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okay I'll get my coat....."No wait, that's Shergar!  It wasn't me after all! | |||
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" Unfortunately because the _iew is it a sex site we have thousands of single men and married men playing away trying to get a easy shag. and females
just for balance "
Although I don't believe it's a sex site. But I don't think I'm spoiling any "real swingers'" enjoyment of the place by being here either. | |||
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" Fair enough but I personally can't see any scenario where the person being cheated on deserves it and if they do surely they don't deserve to be in a relationship at all? We'll put my missing the quip down to white knight exhaustion, this armour is heavy, the shield hard to hold and the sword blunting from all the fighting. Who said anything about the person being cheated on "deserving" it? I didn't. But then perhaps it's understandable you think I must believe that, since we're all evil and all." I did, I said, I, me, personally can't see any situation where the person being cheated on deserves it and if they don't then how can you say it's not wrong? | |||
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" Unfortunately because the _iew is it a sex site we have thousands of single men and married men playing away trying to get a easy shag. and females
just for balance
Although I don't believe it's a sex site. But I don't think I'm spoiling any "real swingers'" enjoyment of the place by being here either. "you certainly aren't. Freedom of choice for all married whether they are happy or bored.  | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. See those words all sound nice and lovely and wonderful, but they're a massive crock of shit. So fulfil your moral responsibility as you see it and judge away, but also perhaps recognise that you know absolutely nothing about people's circumstances, relationships and reasons for their actions other than what they may choose to tell you. Judge away, do whatever you need to do to feel important and righteous and smug and get your dick wet with someone who's been cheated on in the past so has a chip on their shoulder about it. Delete, block, ignore, avoid - but don't presume to tell me what my reasons are or what is the right or wrong thing for my situation. " Anna,I alway's respect what you say on here,but not the part about someone who has a chip on their shoulder. I am probably that person,once you've had the experience of seeing your two little girls in complete devastation (we had only adopted them two years earlier)after their dad had an affair,you can end up with a chip on your shoulder. The effects eight years on are still present in one way or another. I will never forgive him for what he did to them. All I want from people here is to be honest,honestly is incredibly important to me. I don't play with married men,if others do then that's their choice and has no effect on me. | |||
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" Fair enough but I personally can't see any scenario where the person being cheated on deserves it and if they do surely they don't deserve to be in a relationship at all? We'll put my missing the quip down to white knight exhaustion, this armour is heavy, the shield hard to hold and the sword blunting from all the fighting. Who said anything about the person being cheated on "deserving" it? I didn't. But then perhaps it's understandable you think I must believe that, since we're all evil and all. I did, I said, I, me, personally can't see any situation where the person being cheated on deserves it and if they don't then how can you say it's not wrong? " I can't say for sure it's not wrong. Because I don't know. Hence I also can't say for sure it IS wrong. | |||
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"Not every married couple is happy or lucky enough to have a great sex life So Fab can solve problems for them And I for one don't judge them And I'm not entirely sure why others feel they have the right to either "You've must have never held your broken crying mum in your arms as a child trying to find a way to fix her after she discovered her boyfriend of five years was meeting women for sex behind her back. You want to know what right I have? I have the right of being caught in the devastating aftermath of unfaithfulness, I've seen what it does to families and wouldn't wish that on anyone. | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. See those words all sound nice and lovely and wonderful, but they're a massive crock of shit. So fulfil your moral responsibility as you see it and judge away, but also perhaps recognise that you know absolutely nothing about people's circumstances, relationships and reasons for their actions other than what they may choose to tell you. Judge away, do whatever you need to do to feel important and righteous and smug and get your dick wet with someone who's been cheated on in the past so has a chip on their shoulder about it. Delete, block, ignore, avoid - but don't presume to tell me what my reasons are or what is the right or wrong thing for my situation. Anna,I alway's respect what you say on here,but not the part about someone who has a chip on their shoulder. I am probably that person,once you've had the experience of seeing your two little girls in complete devastation (we had only adopted them two years earlier)after their dad had an affair,you can end up with a chip on your shoulder. The effects eight years on are still present in one way or another. I will never forgive him for what he did to them. All I want from people here is to be honest,honestly is incredibly important to me. I don't play with married men,if others do then that's their choice and has no effect on me. " You refer to not forgiving HIM, and the choice of others having no affect on you. That doesn't sound like a chip on your shoulder, that isn't what I'm talking about. That's about you and your personal situation. I haven't seen you trying to condemn every single other person who is married or attached on the basis of your own experience. But I've seen others on this site do that many a time. Believe me, I have no intention of imposing myself on anyone on here who doesn't want to get involved with married people. I usually block them to save them from the contamination even of looking at a photo. But I don't agree with a blanket condemnation of everyone and I'll always argue against that (as I'm sure you're all sick of me doing ) | |||
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"Not every married couple is happy or lucky enough to have a great sex life So Fab can solve problems for them And I for one don't judge them And I'm not entirely sure why others feel they have the right to either
You've must have never held your broken crying mum in your arms as a child trying to find a way to fix her after she discovered her boyfriend of five years was meeting women for sex behind her back.
You want to know what right I have?
I have the right of being caught in the devastating aftermath of unfaithfulness, I've seen what it does to families and wouldn't wish that on anyone. "Au contrair my lovely My ex husband and I spilt up when I was 38, because he had an affair and worse than that, he was having a child with her And I was actually married, with 3 children to comfort and bring up alone So I've seen unfaithfulness at first hand actually But do I judge those in unhappy situations, no! Why not? Because I'm a grown up And moaning about the past never ever ever ever changes it frankly So my philosophy is live your life today because the past is the past | |||
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"Not every married couple is happy or lucky enough to have a great sex life So Fab can solve problems for them And I for one don't judge them And I'm not entirely sure why others feel they have the right to either
You've must have never held your broken crying mum in your arms as a child trying to find a way to fix her after she discovered her boyfriend of five years was meeting women for sex behind her back.
You want to know what right I have?
I have the right of being caught in the devastating aftermath of unfaithfulness, I've seen what it does to families and wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Au contrair my lovely
My ex husband and I spilt up when I was 38, because he had an affair and worse than that, he was having a child with her
And I was actually married, with 3 children to comfort and bring up alone
So I've seen unfaithfulness at first hand actually
But do I judge those in unhappy situations, no!
Why not?
Because I'm a grown up
And moaning about the past never ever ever ever changes it frankly
So my philosophy is live your life today because the past is the past
"I'm not moaning about the past I'm saying cheating can potentially hurt people and destroy lives so I don't agree with anybody helping somebody to do it claiming it's not their problem. | |||
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"Not every married couple is happy or lucky enough to have a great sex life So Fab can solve problems for them And I for one don't judge them And I'm not entirely sure why others feel they have the right to either
You've must have never held your broken crying mum in your arms as a child trying to find a way to fix her after she discovered her boyfriend of five years was meeting women for sex behind her back.
You want to know what right I have?
I have the right of being caught in the devastating aftermath of unfaithfulness, I've seen what it does to families and wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Au contrair my lovely
My ex husband and I spilt up when I was 38, because he had an affair and worse than that, he was having a child with her
And I was actually married, with 3 children to comfort and bring up alone
So I've seen unfaithfulness at first hand actually
But do I judge those in unhappy situations, no!
Why not?
Because I'm a grown up
And moaning about the past never ever ever ever changes it frankly
So my philosophy is live your life today because the past is the past
I'm not moaning about the past I'm saying cheating can potentially hurt people and destroy lives so I don't agree with anybody helping somebody to do it claiming it's not their problem. "But it isn't my problem And it only hurts them IF they're found out | |||
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"I may be naiive but I have been in a 8 year relationship, it went wrong, I left. Hence looking for fun on here NSA. I'm single though. If you are in a marriage that you need to look for sex elsewhere why stay in it? Not on moral high horse just genuinely interested. Not talking about genuine swingers who have fun together either." Marriage is a lot more than sex. | |||
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"I may be naiive but I have been in a 8 year relationship, it went wrong, I left. Hence looking for fun on here NSA. I'm single though. If you are in a marriage that you need to look for sex elsewhere why stay in it? Not on moral high horse just genuinely interested. Not talking about genuine swingers who have fun together either. Marriage is a lot more than sex. " Indeed it is. | |||
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"Not every married couple is happy or lucky enough to have a great sex life So Fab can solve problems for them And I for one don't judge them And I'm not entirely sure why others feel they have the right to either
You've must have never held your broken crying mum in your arms as a child trying to find a way to fix her after she discovered her boyfriend of five years was meeting women for sex behind her back.
You want to know what right I have?
I have the right of being caught in the devastating aftermath of unfaithfulness, I've seen what it does to families and wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Au contrair my lovely
My ex husband and I spilt up when I was 38, because he had an affair and worse than that, he was having a child with her
And I was actually married, with 3 children to comfort and bring up alone
So I've seen unfaithfulness at first hand actually
But do I judge those in unhappy situations, no!
Why not?
Because I'm a grown up
And moaning about the past never ever ever ever changes it frankly
So my philosophy is live your life today because the past is the past
I'm not moaning about the past I'm saying cheating can potentially hurt people and destroy lives so I don't agree with anybody helping somebody to do it claiming it's not their problem.
But it isn't my problem
And it only hurts them IF they're found out "Apathy is a disease on mankind I can't honestly think of a polite way to reply to such a naive closed minded comment other than this. | |||
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"Not every married couple is happy or lucky enough to have a great sex life So Fab can solve problems for them And I for one don't judge them And I'm not entirely sure why others feel they have the right to either
You've must have never held your broken crying mum in your arms as a child trying to find a way to fix her after she discovered her boyfriend of five years was meeting women for sex behind her back.
You want to know what right I have?
I have the right of being caught in the devastating aftermath of unfaithfulness, I've seen what it does to families and wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Au contrair my lovely
My ex husband and I spilt up when I was 38, because he had an affair and worse than that, he was having a child with her
And I was actually married, with 3 children to comfort and bring up alone
So I've seen unfaithfulness at first hand actually
But do I judge those in unhappy situations, no!
Why not?
Because I'm a grown up
And moaning about the past never ever ever ever changes it frankly
So my philosophy is live your life today because the past is the past
I'm not moaning about the past I'm saying cheating can potentially hurt people and destroy lives so I don't agree with anybody helping somebody to do it claiming it's not their problem.
But it isn't my problem
And it only hurts them IF they're found out
Apathy is a disease on mankind I can't honestly think of a polite way to reply to such a naive closed minded comment other than this. "Yea yea whatever I'd remove those rose tinted glasses if I were you and try and live in the real world as it really is | |||
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"Not every married couple is happy or lucky enough to have a great sex life So Fab can solve problems for them And I for one don't judge them And I'm not entirely sure why others feel they have the right to either
You've must have never held your broken crying mum in your arms as a child trying to find a way to fix her after she discovered her boyfriend of five years was meeting women for sex behind her back.
You want to know what right I have?
I have the right of being caught in the devastating aftermath of unfaithfulness, I've seen what it does to families and wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Au contrair my lovely
My ex husband and I spilt up when I was 38, because he had an affair and worse than that, he was having a child with her
And I was actually married, with 3 children to comfort and bring up alone
So I've seen unfaithfulness at first hand actually
But do I judge those in unhappy situations, no!
Why not?
Because I'm a grown up
And moaning about the past never ever ever ever changes it frankly
So my philosophy is live your life today because the past is the past
I'm not moaning about the past I'm saying cheating can potentially hurt people and destroy lives so I don't agree with anybody helping somebody to do it claiming it's not their problem.
But it isn't my problem
And it only hurts them IF they're found out
Apathy is a disease on mankind I can't honestly think of a polite way to reply to such a naive closed minded comment other than this. "But you're being just as closed minded. | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Don't be silly! "Say hi sometime sexy | |||
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"Marriage is a great institution, but I am not ready for an institution yet! " | |||
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"Not every married couple is happy or lucky enough to have a great sex life So Fab can solve problems for them And I for one don't judge them And I'm not entirely sure why others feel they have the right to either
You've must have never held your broken crying mum in your arms as a child trying to find a way to fix her after she discovered her boyfriend of five years was meeting women for sex behind her back.
You want to know what right I have?
I have the right of being caught in the devastating aftermath of unfaithfulness, I've seen what it does to families and wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Au contrair my lovely
My ex husband and I spilt up when I was 38, because he had an affair and worse than that, he was having a child with her
And I was actually married, with 3 children to comfort and bring up alone
So I've seen unfaithfulness at first hand actually
But do I judge those in unhappy situations, no!
Why not?
Because I'm a grown up
And moaning about the past never ever ever ever changes it frankly
So my philosophy is live your life today because the past is the past
I'm not moaning about the past I'm saying cheating can potentially hurt people and destroy lives so I don't agree with anybody helping somebody to do it claiming it's not their problem.
But it isn't my problem
And it only hurts them IF they're found out
Apathy is a disease on mankind I can't honestly think of a polite way to reply to such a naive closed minded comment other than this.
Yea yea whatever
I'd remove those rose tinted glasses if I were you and try and live in the real world as it really is
"I do live in the real world, I just have principles. | |||
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" I do live in the real world, I just have principles. " And others have theirs, they might just not the what you subscibe to or vice versa........ | |||
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"Not every married couple is happy or lucky enough to have a great sex life So Fab can solve problems for them And I for one don't judge them And I'm not entirely sure why others feel they have the right to either
You've must have never held your broken crying mum in your arms as a child trying to find a way to fix her after she discovered her boyfriend of five years was meeting women for sex behind her back.
You want to know what right I have?
I have the right of being caught in the devastating aftermath of unfaithfulness, I've seen what it does to families and wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Au contrair my lovely
My ex husband and I spilt up when I was 38, because he had an affair and worse than that, he was having a child with her
And I was actually married, with 3 children to comfort and bring up alone
So I've seen unfaithfulness at first hand actually
But do I judge those in unhappy situations, no!
Why not?
Because I'm a grown up
And moaning about the past never ever ever ever changes it frankly
So my philosophy is live your life today because the past is the past
I'm not moaning about the past I'm saying cheating can potentially hurt people and destroy lives so I don't agree with anybody helping somebody to do it claiming it's not their problem.
But it isn't my problem
And it only hurts them IF they're found out
Apathy is a disease on mankind I can't honestly think of a polite way to reply to such a naive closed minded comment other than this.
Yea yea whatever
I'd remove those rose tinted glasses if I were you and try and live in the real world as it really is
I do live in the real world, I just have principles. "So do I honey So do I Don't assume that I don't because I'm a self confessed slut Because assuming you know me and also assuming that your decisions in life are morally superior to mine would be very foolish indeed honey | |||
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"assuming you know me and also assuming that your decisions in life are morally superior to mine would be very foolish indeed honey " | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? It becomes their business once the attached person cheating contacts them regarding a meet, especially if they don't wish to meet them and encourage the behavior So they just don't meet them. It's not that difficult." Of course I did mean for that to be implied. | |||
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"We were very married and very in love and very bored - then one of us was brave enough to talk about our fantasies and needs and the other one was brave enough to say lets give it a try. Now we are very married, very in love and very horny! Not bored at all!!!! "Congratulations!! The benefits of open communication. | |||
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"Wow this thread turned really quick. Now let's get back to judging people. I noticed no one is speaking out about the women that cheat. I have never read on a male profile NO CHEATING WOMEN CONTACT ME. OR I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOUR HUSBAND BEFORE WE MEET. The swinging world is a funny place. "There are women that have/are cheating, that have clearly commented and put their opinions on the subject! I don't understand your post, I read it as two different things though! | |||
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"I was married and bored. I got out of it first then played. " This is the way I did it too. A very restricted marriage and ending it gave the best chance for both to enjoy something else | |||
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"I may be naiive but I have been in a 8 year relationship, it went wrong, I left. Hence looking for fun on here NSA. I'm single though. If you are in a marriage that you need to look for sex elsewhere why stay in it? Not on moral high horse just genuinely interested. Not talking about genuine swingers who have fun together either. Marriage is a lot more than sex. " | |||
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" You've must have never held your broken crying mum in your arms as a child trying to find a way to fix her after she discovered her boyfriend of five years was meeting women for sex behind her back. You want to know what right I have? I have the right of being caught in the devastating aftermath of unfaithfulness, I've seen what it does to families and wouldn't wish that on anyone. " I did the same to my father. He'd been with my mother for 18 years. He cried and cried and cried when he found out she'd been sleeping with other men. I was just 15, I didn't know what to do. So I got d*unk a lot and found myself a drug habit. And failed all my exams at school (I finally got to university at 28). I'd known for two years she had been sleeping with other people. I hadn't been able to tell anyone because I thought she might stop loving me and it was all I had. I didn't want to lose her. So yeah. I will judge people who cheat on their partners just because they like to fuck and their partner doesn't. Because I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of that as a child. And my Dad is still a little broken, 15 years later. | |||
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" You've must have never held your broken crying mum in your arms as a child trying to find a way to fix her after she discovered her boyfriend of five years was meeting women for sex behind her back. You want to know what right I have? I have the right of being caught in the devastating aftermath of unfaithfulness, I've seen what it does to families and wouldn't wish that on anyone. I did the same to my father. He'd been with my mother for 18 years. He cried and cried and cried when he found out she'd been sleeping with other men. I was just 15, I didn't know what to do. So I got d*unk a lot and found myself a drug habit. And failed all my exams at school (I finally got to university at 28). I'd known for two years she had been sleeping with other people. I hadn't been able to tell anyone because I thought she might stop loving me and it was all I had. I didn't want to lose her. So yeah. I will judge people who cheat on their partners just because they like to fuck and their partner doesn't. Because I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of that as a child. And my Dad is still a little broken, 15 years later." As you've shared personal reasons I wonder as an adult have you ever asked your mother why she chose to fuck others and not your father, ever told her how hurt you were by her actions. Or is she 'lost' to you now? | |||
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"Hi am married and very bored. We have not had sex for months. Can anyone help me please !" Councillor/marriage guidance. Seriously. Cheating on here won't help. Either sort your relationship or end it....then you are free to do as you wish. | |||
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" I will judge people who cheat on their partners just because they like to fuck and their partner doesn't. Because I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of that as a child" Nobody ever seems to want to blame the spouse who withholds sex, despite the explanations, conversations and arguments. The physical, emotional and psychological damage of not feeling fully wanted by the person that you love is equally damaging. I'm not casting blame here; just dealing with my life the best way I can. | |||
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"Hi am married and very bored. We have not had sex for months. Can anyone help me please ! Councillor/marriage guidance. Seriously. Cheating on here won't help. Either sort your relationship or end it....then you are free to do as you wish." Unfortunately back in the real world with the real people, "one size fits all" solutions as simple as this fail to pick up on the nuances of individuals' situations. | |||
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"We were very married and very in love and very bored - then one of us was brave enough to talk about our fantasies and needs and the other one was brave enough to say lets give it a try. Now we are very married, very in love and very horny! Not bored at all!!!! "Same for us - I would say we are the lucky ones but we both worked to keep it going during the rough times. We never stopped loving each other but about two years ago when our sex life got better again we sort of fell back in love as well. I should add that what we think of as our second honeymoon was nearly a year before we started swinging. The quote above about one person being brave enough to talk about swinging and one person (or both) being brave enough to act on it is perfect. | |||
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"Everyone has different reasons for being on here & nobody knows anyone else's individual life stories which is why I don't judge anyone on this site, married or not."
But I also think that some people read and use other people's reasons to why they do it to justify their own reasons, When they just want to shag other people behind their wife/husband gf/bf | |||
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"Everyone has different reasons for being on here & nobody knows anyone else's individual life stories which is why I don't judge anyone on this site, married or not.
But I also think that some people read and use other people's reasons to why they do it to justify their own reasons, When they just want to shag other people behind their wife/husband gf/bf"Exactly. "some people". When a person makes sweeping generalisations based on a personal experience or a specific example it's going to result in that person being very wrong in many cases. When this is explained to that very wrong person, the depth of feeling, maybe caused by their personal individual experience, can seemingly make them deaf and blind to the possibility that their opinion may not be universally applicable. | |||
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"Personally I think there is a massive difference between an affair & NSA sex." I see the point in that statement but still both could have really bad conquenses | |||
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" Not you, but saying it will be a better world & a better site is just rubbish. How would it not? How can you say cheating isn't a bad thing and the world and through swinging community wouldn't be a better place without it? And I'm talking about cheating not completely consensual sex. How does what someone else does affect you? Stop taking the moral high ground. It's none of your business how others lead their lives. It's not a bloody crime to cheat. Of course it's my business because I don't want to be an unknowing accomplice to destroying some poor persons life, you ever think about that? It's easy to think about some faceless evil woman holding back sex as a weapon against our noble crusader, it's hard to accept that a lying cheating person just wants to fuck other people behind their partners back and you're helping them to do it. Accountability. I would not give yourself that much credit. I am sure those who meet married people on here won't necessarily destroy someone's life. Better to have a quick duck with a stringer on here than develop a long term affair, surely? That is my opinion, based on my experiences. I don't intentionally meet anyone who is married, but I am sure I have, without knowing it. Have also been on the other end of it. That's the truth too If anyone then I would have thought you'd understand what I'm saying, a roll in the hay or several is no better than long term affair " Sorry, just catching up and on my way out, so may not, but have to add .... have you been in either of these situations? I have, so perhaps it is for me to say to you, if anyone could understand what I am saying, it should be you - you did say you have not been married, so I think it is a little presumptuous to walk in those shoes ... | |||
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"Personally I think there is a massive difference between an affair & NSA sex. I see the point in that statement but still both could have really bad conquenses " True, but I think it's the emotional aspect of an affair that can cause more damage. | |||
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"Sorry, just catching up and on my way out, so may not, but have to add .... have you been in either of these situations? I have, so perhaps it is for me to say to you, if anyone could understand what I am saying, it should be you - you did say you have not been married, so I think it is a little presumptuous to walk in those shoes ... " Even if you've been in a similar situation, sweeping generalised comments or assertions can be massively wrong for many people. | |||
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"Personally I think there is a massive difference between an affair & NSA sex. I see the point in that statement but still both could have really bad conquenses True, but I think it's the emotional aspect of an affair that can cause more damage." It would be to me. If I found out my husband had sex with a random person who was in no way connected to our life together, and it was just about the sex, I could deal with that. It may well have happened and I just don't know. Fine. If he had a proper affair with a friend or colleague or developed feelings for someone else, he'd be out the door. Emotional betrayal means infinitely more to me than a physical act. | |||
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" You've must have never held your broken crying mum in your arms as a child trying to find a way to fix her after she discovered her boyfriend of five years was meeting women for sex behind her back. You want to know what right I have? I have the right of being caught in the devastating aftermath of unfaithfulness, I've seen what it does to families and wouldn't wish that on anyone. I did the same to my father. He'd been with my mother for 18 years. He cried and cried and cried when he found out she'd been sleeping with other men. I was just 15, I didn't know what to do. So I got d*unk a lot and found myself a drug habit. And failed all my exams at school (I finally got to university at 28). I'd known for two years she had been sleeping with other people. I hadn't been able to tell anyone because I thought she might stop loving me and it was all I had. I didn't want to lose her. So yeah. I will judge people who cheat on their partners just because they like to fuck and their partner doesn't. Because I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of that as a child. And my Dad is still a little broken, 15 years later." Tough one but have to comment. Both my parents were alcoholics and, as a result, I could not make a commitment, ran away from relationships or lost myself in them. I don't and can't blame them, although it took me a good few years more to forgive my mother, when I became a mother I could not understand how she could have neglected me throughout my childhood to this extent .... time passes though, and we live with the choices we make and move on from our childhood experiences. My own children have said I am supportive, financially but have difficulties with intimacy and opening up to them emotionally, why? Because my emotions have been battered by the alcoholism of my parents, but there is a life beyond our childhood, no matter how devastating it was. | |||
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" Also remember that sex and the intimacy associated is so important it's grounds for divorce if withheld. " Which is wrong. Society puts too much pressure on people to have sex with each other just because they enjoy spending time with each other. I have an asexual partner and it's utterly wonderful. "So given the heart-felt stories above talking about the fallout of a marriage, should a person leave a sexless marriage and guarantee the damage? Or should they do what they can to fill that small but oh-so important hole in their lives, and try to make everything the best for themselves and their family? " The problem is, that people always know. I always knew when various partners had cheated on me. I knew my mother was cheating for two years before she told us. All my friends with divorced parents due to cheating knew as well. You think that children don't know, but they do. | |||
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"Personally I think there is a massive difference between an affair & NSA sex. I see the point in that statement but still both could have really bad conquenses True, but I think it's the emotional aspect of an affair that can cause more damage. It would be to me. If I found out my husband had sex with a random person who was in no way connected to our life together, and it was just about the sex, I could deal with that. It may well have happened and I just don't know. Fine. If he had a proper affair with a friend or colleague or developed feelings for someone else, he'd be out the door. Emotional betrayal means infinitely more to me than a physical act." Completely agree Anna | |||
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"This is an interesting read. I would have thought were I a parent my first concern after being cheated on would be to ensure I kept that away from my children, not somehow expect them to comfort me or pick up the pieces for me. " The problem is, that society says that when you are a 'family' you have two people that you are supposed to be emotionally intimate with - your spouse and your children. When your spouse betrays you, you are only emotionally intimate with one other person if you have done marriage and families as our society dictates - your child. And society says that families are supposed to stick together and be there for each other through thick and thin. That's the point of it. On a personal note - I am a much happier and healthier person now that I am emotionally intimate with multiple adults. When I broke up with a long term partner two years ago, I had another emotionally intimate partner there to support me through it. Someone who I could really talk to about it properly - not just a 'friend' who had some idea of my personal life. If society allowed people to open up and be more emotionally (and physically) intimate with more people then I doubt we'd see as much hurt and heartache as we currently do. We slowly seem to be heading in that direction, and hopefully one day we'll get there. | |||
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" Also remember that sex and the intimacy associated is so important it's grounds for divorce if withheld. Which is wrong. Society puts too much pressure on people to have sex with each other just because they enjoy spending time with each other. I have an asexual partner and it's utterly wonderful. So given the heart-felt stories above talking about the fallout of a marriage, should a person leave a sexless marriage and guarantee the damage? Or should they do what they can to fill that small but oh-so important hole in their lives, and try to make everything the best for themselves and their family? The problem is, that people always know. I always knew when various partners had cheated on me. I knew my mother was cheating for two years before she told us. All my friends with divorced parents due to cheating knew as well. You think that children don't know, but they do." All my friends with divorced parents due to cheating didn't know until it was revealed later. Children don't always know. Partners don't always know. Some parents do a much better job of keeping their private relationship issues away from their children than others do. If you look at the sheer numbers, the statistics of people who have admitted to infidelity, then no - people do not always know. | |||
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"This is an interesting read. I would have thought were I a parent my first concern after being cheated on would be to ensure I kept that away from my children, not somehow expect them to comfort me or pick up the pieces for me. The problem is, that society says that when you are a 'family' you have two people that you are supposed to be emotionally intimate with - your spouse and your children. When your spouse betrays you, you are only emotionally intimate with one other person if you have done marriage and families as our society dictates - your child. And society says that families are supposed to stick together and be there for each other through thick and thin. That's the point of it. On a personal note - I am a much happier and healthier person now that I am emotionally intimate with multiple adults. When I broke up with a long term partner two years ago, I had another emotionally intimate partner there to support me through it. Someone who I could really talk to about it properly - not just a 'friend' who had some idea of my personal life. If society allowed people to open up and be more emotionally (and physically) intimate with more people then I doubt we'd see as much hurt and heartache as we currently do. We slowly seem to be heading in that direction, and hopefully one day we'll get there." As I've said above, I don't see a physical act as a betrayal of my husband nor he of me, should he do that. If I had children, it wouldn't be a betrayal of them. Physical and emotional intimacy are two vastly different things to me. I would much, much rather be in a relationship with a man who loved me to the ends of the earth so chose do what he needed to do to fix an element of him or of our relationship which wasn't working; discreetly and privately and without causing embarrassment or upsetting our life together; than with a man who would chuck it all in and destroy our life together by "being honest with me", "doing the decent thing" or "divorcing me first". But apparently society would applaud him for breaking up his life and mine, rather than helping those lives continue to get better together. Because at least he'd been "honest". | |||
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"Another one making private notes here. Except in my case it's notes of people who swear they hate those cheating scumbags then message me trying to meet... Just got rid of the paragraph about hating cheating scumbags on my profile.....fancy a fuck?!?! "im up for it if you are , fuk all the agro | |||
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"As I've said above, I don't see a physical act as a betrayal of my husband nor he of me, should he do that. If I had children, it wouldn't be a betrayal of them. Physical and emotional intimacy are two vastly different things to me. I would much, much rather be in a relationship with a man who loved me to the ends of the earth so chose do what he needed to do to fix an element of him or of our relationship which wasn't working; discreetly and privately and without causing embarrassment or upsetting our life together; than with a man who would chuck it all in and destroy our life together by "being honest with me", "doing the decent thing" or "divorcing me first". But apparently society would applaud him for breaking up his life and mine, rather than helping those lives continue to get better together. Because at least he'd been "honest". " If you and your husband are ok with each other seeking sex elsewhere, then I'm not sure that this kind of thread is aimed at you. I have had sex and relationships in the past with married people where all are aware - that's a very different situation to cheating on someone. | |||
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"As I've said above, I don't see a physical act as a betrayal of my husband nor he of me, should he do that. If I had children, it wouldn't be a betrayal of them. Physical and emotional intimacy are two vastly different things to me. I would much, much rather be in a relationship with a man who loved me to the ends of the earth so chose do what he needed to do to fix an element of him or of our relationship which wasn't working; discreetly and privately and without causing embarrassment or upsetting our life together; than with a man who would chuck it all in and destroy our life together by "being honest with me", "doing the decent thing" or "divorcing me first". But apparently society would applaud him for breaking up his life and mine, rather than helping those lives continue to get better together. Because at least he'd been "honest". If you and your husband are ok with each other seeking sex elsewhere, then I'm not sure that this kind of thread is aimed at you. I have had sex and relationships in the past with married people where all are aware - that's a very different situation to cheating on someone." No it's not been discussed. And will not be discussed. He may be aware of what I do, he may not be. He may be seeking sex elsewhere, he may not be. I would rather not know I know him well enough to know he would rather not know either. So it is cheating and I don't make any pretence otherwise, people can choose whether or not they want to meet me on that basis. | |||
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"This is an interesting read. I would have thought were I a parent my first concern after being cheated on would be to ensure I kept that away from my children, not somehow expect them to comfort me or pick up the pieces for me. The problem is, that society says that when you are a 'family' you have two people that you are supposed to be emotionally intimate with - your spouse and your children. When your spouse betrays you, you are only emotionally intimate with one other person if you have done marriage and families as our society dictates - your child. And society says that families are supposed to stick together and be there for each other through thick and thin. That's the point of it. On a personal note - I am a much happier and healthier person now that I am emotionally intimate with multiple adults. When I broke up with a long term partner two years ago, I had another emotionally intimate partner there to support me through it. Someone who I could really talk to about it properly - not just a 'friend' who had some idea of my personal life. If society allowed people to open up and be more emotionally (and physically) intimate with more people then I doubt we'd see as much hurt and heartache as we currently do. We slowly seem to be heading in that direction, and hopefully one day we'll get there. As I've said above, I don't see a physical act as a betrayal of my husband nor he of me, should he do that. If I had children, it wouldn't be a betrayal of them. Physical and emotional intimacy are two vastly different things to me. I would much, much rather be in a relationship with a man who loved me to the ends of the earth so chose do what he needed to do to fix an element of him or of our relationship which wasn't working; discreetly and privately and without causing embarrassment or upsetting our life together; than with a man who would chuck it all in and destroy our life together by "being honest with me", "doing the decent thing" or "divorcing me first". But apparently society would applaud him for breaking up his life and mine, rather than helping those lives continue to get better together. Because at least he'd been "honest". " So basically if he needed to fulfil his physical desires elsewhere you wouldn't care as long as there was no emotion? Would you say if he talked to you and admitted he wasn't sexually fulfilled you would be good with him shagging other people or you prefer they say nothing and lie to you? Which they would be doing by the way, if they don't know it's Ok to be sleeping with other people they would be lying to you but you wouldn't care? | |||
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"This is an interesting read. I would have thought were I a parent my first concern after being cheated on would be to ensure I kept that away from my children, not somehow expect them to comfort me or pick up the pieces for me. The problem is, that society says that when you are a 'family' you have two people that you are supposed to be emotionally intimate with - your spouse and your children. When your spouse betrays you, you are only emotionally intimate with one other person if you have done marriage and families as our society dictates - your child. And society says that families are supposed to stick together and be there for each other through thick and thin. That's the point of it. On a personal note - I am a much happier and healthier person now that I am emotionally intimate with multiple adults. When I broke up with a long term partner two years ago, I had another emotionally intimate partner there to support me through it. Someone who I could really talk to about it properly - not just a 'friend' who had some idea of my personal life. If society allowed people to open up and be more emotionally (and physically) intimate with more people then I doubt we'd see as much hurt and heartache as we currently do. We slowly seem to be heading in that direction, and hopefully one day we'll get there. As I've said above, I don't see a physical act as a betrayal of my husband nor he of me, should he do that. If I had children, it wouldn't be a betrayal of them. Physical and emotional intimacy are two vastly different things to me. I would much, much rather be in a relationship with a man who loved me to the ends of the earth so chose do what he needed to do to fix an element of him or of our relationship which wasn't working; discreetly and privately and without causing embarrassment or upsetting our life together; than with a man who would chuck it all in and destroy our life together by "being honest with me", "doing the decent thing" or "divorcing me first". But apparently society would applaud him for breaking up his life and mine, rather than helping those lives continue to get better together. Because at least he'd been "honest". So basically if he needed to fulfil his physical desires elsewhere you wouldn't care as long as there was no emotion? Would you say if he talked to you and admitted he wasn't sexually fulfilled you would be good with him shagging other people or you prefer they say nothing and lie to you? Which they would be doing by the way, if they don't know it's Ok to be sleeping with other people they would be lying to you but you wouldn't care?" I'd prefer the lie. Provided it is kept away from my 'real' life and the people in it. I would rather not know. | |||
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As to married: seperated nearly 6 years but never bothered to divorce. My ex is my best mate and is one of the few who knows I'm on here.
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"So basically if he needed to fulfil his physical desires elsewhere you wouldn't care as long as there was no emotion? Would you say if he talked to you and admitted he wasn't sexually fulfilled you would be good with him shagging other people or you prefer they say nothing and lie to you? Which they would be doing by the way, if they don't know it's Ok to be sleeping with other people they would be lying to you but you wouldn't care?" Wouldn't care is the wrong thing. Would I prefer if I had the perfect marriage? Yes. On the basis that it's not ideal, if my wife could do something to make her happier and more content and our marriage more stable and fulfilled; I would prefer she did it. If that thing was based on a major flaw on my part, I would rather not know, and would prefer she just did got on with it. Thing is, I don't expect anybody to understand unless they've been in a similar position. | |||
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"We were very married and very in love and very bored - then one of us was brave enough to talk about our fantasies and needs and the other one was brave enough to say lets give it a try. Now we are very married, very in love and very horny! Not bored at all!!!! " | |||
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"This is an interesting read. I would have thought were I a parent my first concern after being cheated on would be to ensure I kept that away from my children, not somehow expect them to comfort me or pick up the pieces for me. The problem is, that society says that when you are a 'family' you have two people that you are supposed to be emotionally intimate with - your spouse and your children. When your spouse betrays you, you are only emotionally intimate with one other person if you have done marriage and families as our society dictates - your child. And society says that families are supposed to stick together and be there for each other through thick and thin. That's the point of it. On a personal note - I am a much happier and healthier person now that I am emotionally intimate with multiple adults. When I broke up with a long term partner two years ago, I had another emotionally intimate partner there to support me through it. Someone who I could really talk to about it properly - not just a 'friend' who had some idea of my personal life. If society allowed people to open up and be more emotionally (and physically) intimate with more people then I doubt we'd see as much hurt and heartache as we currently do. We slowly seem to be heading in that direction, and hopefully one day we'll get there. As I've said above, I don't see a physical act as a betrayal of my husband nor he of me, should he do that. If I had children, it wouldn't be a betrayal of them. Physical and emotional intimacy are two vastly different things to me. I would much, much rather be in a relationship with a man who loved me to the ends of the earth so chose do what he needed to do to fix an element of him or of our relationship which wasn't working; discreetly and privately and without causing embarrassment or upsetting our life together; than with a man who would chuck it all in and destroy our life together by "being honest with me", "doing the decent thing" or "divorcing me first". But apparently society would applaud him for breaking up his life and mine, rather than helping those lives continue to get better together. Because at least he'd been "honest". So basically if he needed to fulfil his physical desires elsewhere you wouldn't care as long as there was no emotion? Would you say if he talked to you and admitted he wasn't sexually fulfilled you would be good with him shagging other people or you prefer they say nothing and lie to you? Which they would be doing by the way, if they don't know it's Ok to be sleeping with other people they would be lying to you but you wouldn't care? I'd prefer the lie. Provided it is kept away from my 'real' life and the people in it. I would rather not know. " Same here. I'd rather be kept in the dark over certain things because then they can't hurt me. | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business?" This | |||
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"So basically if he needed to fulfil his physical desires elsewhere you wouldn't care as long as there was no emotion? Would you say if he talked to you and admitted he wasn't sexually fulfilled you would be good with him shagging other people or you prefer they say nothing and lie to you? Which they would be doing by the way, if they don't know it's Ok to be sleeping with other people they would be lying to you but you wouldn't care? Wouldn't care is the wrong thing. Would I prefer if I had the perfect marriage? Yes. On the basis that it's not ideal, if my wife could do something to make her happier and more content and our marriage more stable and fulfilled; I would prefer she did it. If that thing was based on a major flaw on my part, I would rather not know, and would prefer she just did got on with it. Thing is, I don't expect anybody to understand unless they've been in a similar position. " You said it much better than me. Obviously I'd prefer the perfect marriage too. But I'm flawed, he's flawed, people are flawed. Two flawed people can still have a wonderful life together. | |||
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"Another one making private notes here. Except in my case it's notes of people who swear they hate those cheating scumbags then message me trying to meet... Just got rid of the paragraph about hating cheating scumbags on my profile.....fancy a fuck?!?! "I'm just a scumbag, not a cheat. Any chance?. LOL | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. " All very true except you conveniently left out the bit about the ring being a sign of fidelity and forsaking all others. That is also part of what signing on the dotted line normally means. Judge not lest you be judged. | |||
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"My point was though that a lot of people would question swinging, not on here, obviously, but it is always easy to get on the moral high horse about other people's behaviour. And, to be honest I think there are worse things to do that cheating in this world .... spoken as someone who was cheated on by ex husband, left with three kids, etc, and someone who only does soft swing. As if it matters .... I don't think this is the place for any moral high ground, I dont actually think anywhere is, to be honest" Well said | |||
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"tit for tat tat for tit if the haters don't like it, don't fuck them if the promoters like them, fuck them it is that easy "I'd give any woman a whole loaf of tat if she'll give me a nice bit of tit. LOL | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. All very true except you conveniently left out the bit about the ring being a sign of fidelity and forsaking all others. That is also part of what signing on the dotted line normally means. Judge not lest you be judged." Judge away, my intentions are pure. I couldn't be in a relationship without trust, if my partner wasn't happy I'd prefer to know about it so we can work through it together. Yes it would initially hurt knowing that I wasn't satisfying them but I wouldn't blame them. You can't control your body but you can control how you dear with a problem. | |||
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"Thing is. You do what you want Conquenses are only an after thought Just like feelings I decided leave em be, they arent hurting me I still know who i will meet and wont. " | |||
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"Remember, marriage and a relationship, especially one with kids, is more than sex. Also remember that sex and the intimacy associated is so important it's grounds for divorce if withheld. So given the heart-felt stories above talking about the fallout of a marriage, should a person leave a sexless marriage and guarantee the damage? Or should they do what they can to fill that small but oh-so important hole in their lives, and try to make everything the best for themselves and their family? Won't get any answers here because every person and every situation is unique. All i know about this for certain is: I know my situation and my family better than anyone else. Do not presume otherwise. " Power to you mate. Hope it works out for you. | |||
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"Not every married couple is happy or lucky enough to have a great sex life So Fab can solve problems for them And I for one don't judge them And I'm not entirely sure why others feel they have the right to either
You've must have never held your broken crying mum in your arms as a child trying to find a way to fix her after she discovered her boyfriend of five years was meeting women for sex behind her back.
You want to know what right I have?
I have the right of being caught in the devastating aftermath of unfaithfulness, I've seen what it does to families and wouldn't wish that on anyone. "So now we know. Sympathies to you but that still does not give you the right to judge others whose situations you know nothing about. | |||
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"We guess you married people looking have your partner's permission and they know all about you being on here? Is it really any of your business? Totally agree - not married, not a cheat, but still, is it our place to judge and ask, all the time? After all, some people who question what we do ... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" It is our moral responsibility to each other to question and judge our actions. Cheating is cowardice plain and simple because it's easy. Evil is easy, Doing what is right is hard. It's easy to sneak about and lie, It's hard to have a conversation admitting you're not happy. It's easy to make excuses like it's not fair on the kids to split up, it's hard to accept the fact they can adjustable and lead happy lives regardless. It's easy to hide on a swingers site behind the veil of liberal sex, it's hard to accept that when you signed that dotted line and promised to love and cherish you didn't mean it. You can't love a person and have so little respect for them you can't keep your hormones in check. It's easy to take what you want, It's hard to work for what you want. See those words all sound nice and lovely and wonderful, but they're a massive crock of shit. So fulfil your moral responsibility as you see it and judge away, but also perhaps recognise that you know absolutely nothing about people's circumstances, relationships and reasons for their actions other than what they may choose to tell you. Judge away, do whatever you need to do to feel important and righteous and smug and get your dick wet with someone who's been cheated on in the past so has a chip on their shoulder about it. Delete, block, ignore, avoid - but don't presume to tell me what my reasons are or what is the right or wrong thing for my situation. Anna,I alway's respect what you say on here,but not the part about someone who has a chip on their shoulder. I am probably that person,once you've had the experience of seeing your two little girls in complete devastation (we had only adopted them two years earlier)after their dad had an affair,you can end up with a chip on your shoulder. The effects eight years on are still present in one way or another. I will never forgive him for what he did to them. All I want from people here is to be honest,honestly is incredibly important to me. I don't play with married men,if others do then that's their choice and has no effect on me. You refer to not forgiving HIM, and the choice of others having no affect on you. That doesn't sound like a chip on your shoulder, that isn't what I'm talking about. That's about you and your personal situation. I haven't seen you trying to condemn every single other person who is married or attached on the basis of your own experience. But I've seen others on this site do that many a time. Believe me, I have no intention of imposing myself on anyone on here who doesn't want to get involved with married people. I usually block them to save them from the contamination even of looking at a photo. But I don't agree with a blanket condemnation of everyone and I'll always argue against that (as I'm sure you're all sick of me doing ) "Never! I love reading your posts and admire the cool, often sensitive and always analytical & logical way you frame your arguments. | |||
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"Not every married couple is happy or lucky enough to have a great sex life So Fab can solve problems for them And I for one don't judge them And I'm not entirely sure why others feel they have the right to either
You've must have never held your broken crying mum in your arms as a child trying to find a way to fix her after she discovered her boyfriend of five years was meeting women for sex behind her back.
You want to know what right I have?
I have the right of being caught in the devastating aftermath of unfaithfulness, I've seen what it does to families and wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Au contrair my lovely
My ex husband and I spilt up when I was 38, because he had an affair and worse than that, he was having a child with her
And I was actually married, with 3 children to comfort and bring up alone
So I've seen unfaithfulness at first hand actually
But do I judge those in unhappy situations, no!
Why not?
Because I'm a grown up
And moaning about the past never ever ever ever changes it frankly
So my philosophy is live your life today because the past is the past
I'm not moaning about the past I'm saying cheating can potentially hurt people and destroy lives so I don't agree with anybody helping somebody to do it claiming it's not their problem.
But it isn't my problem
And it only hurts them IF they're found out
Apathy is a disease on mankind I can't honestly think of a polite way to reply to such a naive closed minded comment other than this.
Yea yea whatever
I'd remove those rose tinted glasses if I were you and try and live in the real world as it really is
I do live in the real world, I just have principles. "It's easy to have principles that you use to judge others but have no affect on you. Some would call that being judgmental. | |||
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"This is an interesting read. I would have thought were I a parent my first concern after being cheated on would be to ensure I kept that away from my children, not somehow expect them to comfort me or pick up the pieces for me. The problem is, that society says that when you are a 'family' you have two people that you are supposed to be emotionally intimate with - your spouse and your children. When your spouse betrays you, you are only emotionally intimate with one other person if you have done marriage and families as our society dictates - your child. And society says that families are supposed to stick together and be there for each other through thick and thin. That's the point of it. On a personal note - I am a much happier and healthier person now that I am emotionally intimate with multiple adults. When I broke up with a long term partner two years ago, I had another emotionally intimate partner there to support me through it. Someone who I could really talk to about it properly - not just a 'friend' who had some idea of my personal life. If society allowed people to open up and be more emotionally (and physically) intimate with more people then I doubt we'd see as much hurt and heartache as we currently do. We slowly seem to be heading in that direction, and hopefully one day we'll get there. As I've said above, I don't see a physical act as a betrayal of my husband nor he of me, should he do that. If I had children, it wouldn't be a betrayal of them. Physical and emotional intimacy are two vastly different things to me. I would much, much rather be in a relationship with a man who loved me to the ends of the earth so chose do what he needed to do to fix an element of him or of our relationship which wasn't working; discreetly and privately and without causing embarrassment or upsetting our life together; than with a man who would chuck it all in and destroy our life together by "being honest with me", "doing the decent thing" or "divorcing me first". But apparently society would applaud him for breaking up his life and mine, rather than helping those lives continue to get better together. Because at least he'd been "honest". " Good point well made. | |||
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"This is an interesting read. I would have thought were I a parent my first concern after being cheated on would be to ensure I kept that away from my children, not somehow expect them to comfort me or pick up the pieces for me. The problem is, that society says that when you are a 'family' you have two people that you are supposed to be emotionally intimate with - your spouse and your children. When your spouse betrays you, you are only emotionally intimate with one other person if you have done marriage and families as our society dictates - your child. And society says that families are supposed to stick together and be there for each other through thick and thin. That's the point of it. On a personal note - I am a much happier and healthier person now that I am emotionally intimate with multiple adults. When I broke up with a long term partner two years ago, I had another emotionally intimate partner there to support me through it. Someone who I could really talk to about it properly - not just a 'friend' who had some idea of my personal life. If society allowed people to open up and be more emotionally (and physically) intimate with more people then I doubt we'd see as much hurt and heartache as we currently do. We slowly seem to be heading in that direction, and hopefully one day we'll get there. As I've said above, I don't see a physical act as a betrayal of my husband nor he of me, should he do that. If I had children, it wouldn't be a betrayal of them. Physical and emotional intimacy are two vastly different things to me. I would much, much rather be in a relationship with a man who loved me to the ends of the earth so chose do what he needed to do to fix an element of him or of our relationship which wasn't working; discreetly and privately and without causing embarrassment or upsetting our life together; than with a man who would chuck it all in and destroy our life together by "being honest with me", "doing the decent thing" or "divorcing me first". But apparently society would applaud him for breaking up his life and mine, rather than helping those lives continue to get better together. Because at least he'd been "honest". So basically if he needed to fulfil his physical desires elsewhere you wouldn't care as long as there was no emotion? Would you say if he talked to you and admitted he wasn't sexually fulfilled you would be good with him shagging other people or you prefer they say nothing and lie to you? Which they would be doing by the way, if they don't know it's Ok to be sleeping with other people they would be lying to you but you wouldn't care?" That's pretty much what she said. Why do you seem so shocked that other people in different situations to the ones you've been in, have a different attitude towards this than yours? | |||
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