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50 shades new opportunities or brought out in the open
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Neither - it's not representative of the actual subject matter.
So whilst there has been an influx of "Mr Grey's" here and elsewhere how many actually have any idea of what it really entails? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd already done more than what she agreed to way before the book was written. She said no to all the best stuff. I had a dungeon room in mind for when my children left home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Neither - it's not representative of the actual subject matter.
So whilst there has been an influx of "Mr Grey's" here and elsewhere how many actually have any idea of what it really entails?"
Do you not think it's personal to every couple? We all do things how we want to rather than follow rules set out by people who have their own way of doing it? The Dominant/Submissive relationship is complex and can't follow rules,I believe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Neither - it's not representative of the actual subject matter.
So whilst there has been an influx of "Mr Grey's" here and elsewhere how many actually have any idea of what it really entails?
Do you not think it's personal to every couple? We all do things how we want to rather than follow rules set out by people who have their own way of doing it? The Dominant/Submissive relationship is complex and can't follow rules,I believe. "
It's not so much about that but the 50 Shades side is closer to a control/abusive relationship rather than Dom/Sub.
The Sub holds the true control and power |
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By *ands12 OP Couple
over a year ago
north walsham |
totally agree that it is in no way representative of the subject matter. But i do feel it has given a lot of people the opportunity to be more open about what they want and what they are willing to try. the influx of MR Grey wannabes does worry me most of them are totally unprepared for what they are saying they can deliver. It would be an absolute shame that people are put of experimenting because of a bad meet with somebody boasting capabilities beyond their skills |
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"do you think that those books have caused an influx of newbies into all kinds of kinks or do you think these people have always been out there just keeping hidden"
I think lots of people kept it hidden. I see no problem with people feeling able to try things they previously felt they couldn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"totally agree that it is in no way representative of the subject matter. But i do feel it has given a lot of people the opportunity to be more open about what they want and what they are willing to try. the influx of MR Grey wannabes does worry me most of them are totally unprepared for what they are saying they can deliver. It would be an absolute shame that people are put of experimenting because of a bad meet with somebody boasting capabilities beyond their skills "
This. I had a bad experience with someone who called herself a "Domme", and I met her believing she knew that being a Dom/me means my limits are accepted. Nope. It's made me exceptionally wary.
I think it may well have made it a bit more socially acceptable to talk about, I have spoken about those books and similar novels with my own mother, but I don't think they are particularly accurate. Though as someone else said, each D/s relationship is different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Isn't it strange the peoplebwith the least fo boast about boast the most but the peoplebwith the most to boast about are modest.
One of those inverse relationships.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The Sub holds the true control and power "
Could we stop perpetuating this myth? As I've said before - not all subs/bottoms hold the control or the power. Some don't. It's not abuse either, it's just a different way of doing BDSM. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Neither - it's not representative of the actual subject matter.
So whilst there has been an influx of "Mr Grey's" here and elsewhere how many actually have any idea of what it really entails?
Do you not think it's personal to every couple? We all do things how we want to rather than follow rules set out by people who have their own way of doing it? The Dominant/Submissive relationship is complex and can't follow rules,I believe.
It's not so much about that but the 50 Shades side is closer to a control/abusive relationship rather than Dom/Sub.
The Sub holds the true control and power "
Who says the sub holds the power? For me there is no power to hold over anyone. I need him as much as he needs me. There is a level of trust but I have no more power over him than he has me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Isn't it strange the peoplebwith the least fo boast about boast the most but the peoplebwith the most to boast about are modest.
One of those inverse relationships. "
Could you elaborate? |
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By *ands12 OP Couple
over a year ago
north walsham |
"I'd already done more than what she agreed to way before the book was written. She said no to all the best stuff. I had a dungeon room in mind for when my children left home. "
thinking of building a dungeon room also |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm totally indifferent to it. We are both into BDSM scene and feel that 50 Shades is sadly not what BDSM is.
The premise between the two main characters relationship borders on abuse and control - very different from an actual D/s relationship. There are so many wrong and inconsistent things in the book (I couldn't bare to watch the film) that it's hugely embarrassing and really annoying that someone EL. James) has made judgements without knowing much about that type of relationship.
Fair play to her, she's made a lot of money from it but as for factual research, it's lazy.
I guess more people who are actually into it and have been prior to 50 Shades distance themselves from it.
Mrs  |
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By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago
Germany / Manchester |
Many people have always been kinky and it's an undeniable fact that the marketing of 50 Shades has had people being more open about their kinky desires.
Unfortunately and I agree with the above post, the 50 Shades film and books, poorly represents the reality of B/D -Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Many people have always been kinky and it's an undeniable fact that the marketing of 50 Shades has had people being more open about their kinky desires.
Unfortunately and I agree with the above post, the 50 Shades film and books, poorly represents the reality of B/D -Mr"
And lots of us identify with some of the aspects of control the book portrays. Not all BDSM is the same. |
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