FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is everyone a swinger in secret?
Is everyone a swinger in secret?
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"I bet most couples secretly do have threesomes and foursomes.."
I don't. Swinging is still a minority sport, there wouldn't be so many "I'm in a sexless/unadventurous/mismatched sex drive marriage" posts if most couples were swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I bet most couples secretly do have threesomes and foursomes..
I don't. Swinging is still a minority sport, there wouldn't be so many "I'm in a sexless/unadventurous/mismatched sex drive marriage" posts if most couples were swinging."
Very true. |
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"I bet most couples secretly do have threesomes and foursomes..
I don't. Swinging is still a minority sport, there wouldn't be so many "I'm in a sexless/unadventurous/mismatched sex drive marriage" posts if most couples were swinging.
Very true."
ironically swinging has made us so much more adventurous as a couple that we don't swing as much as we used to....if that makes sense. |
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"I bet most couples secretly do have threesomes and foursomes.."
No, most couples only have sex with eachother.... Some, not very often. Threesomes and group sex are fairly rare outside the swinging world. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"I bet most couples secretly do have threesomes and foursomes..
No, most couples only have sex with eachother.... Some, not very often. Threesomes and group sex are fairly rare outside the swinging world."
Threesome and group sex would suggest that they are at least partially in the swinging world wouldn't it?
It seems like nearly all tv shows coming out of America at the moment feature ethical non monogamy at the moment. The Following, Black Sails, House of Cards, (not seen it but I'm guessing Orange is the new black) etc. So it is becoming a lot more mainstream. Then there is also through increase of female sexual empowerment and a willingness to talk about sex, aka the 50 shades affect. So I think people are more interested at looking wider than default monogamy these days. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"I don't think that many couples swing. I think most people are still hard wired for monogamy. I know how many guys I've dated who've said they could never handle swinging."
I think most couples are monogamous by default, they haven't considered other options and chosen monogamy, they are monogamous because they think everyone else is. That was certainly the case for us. As it appears more in through media, and they know more friends or even family that do it I think that will begin to change.
If you also think what a low base of people swing, it won't take much to double it and grow it quickly  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I bet most couples secretly do have threesomes and foursomes..
No, most couples only have sex with eachother.... Some, not very often. Threesomes and group sex are fairly rare outside the swinging world."
I think being a swinger slants the perception. Swingers have swingers as friends... hence it seems popular. It's really not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think that many couples swing. I think most people are still hard wired for monogamy. I know how many guys I've dated who've said they could never handle swinging."
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"I bet most couples secretly do have threesomes and foursomes..
No, most couples only have sex with eachother.... Some, not very often. Threesomes and group sex are fairly rare outside the swinging world.
I think being a swinger slants the perception. Swingers have swingers as friends... hence it seems popular. It's really not. "
what % of people who you say do it? |
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"I dont agree !
There's usually too much insecurity in cpls to venture into this world ."
I d*unkenly tried a MFF with my then-girlfriend but she stormed out in jealousy when it started getting interesting. Pretty certain she won't be swinging with her now boyfriend.
I think it takes a lot of trust to allow someone you love to be with someone else. Not many couples have that, or want to share. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I bet most couples secretly do have threesomes and foursomes..
No, most couples only have sex with eachother.... Some, not very often. Threesomes and group sex are fairly rare outside the swinging world.
I think being a swinger slants the perception. Swingers have swingers as friends... hence it seems popular. It's really not.
what % of people who you say do it?"
I wouldn't like to guess really. As most people are discreet you wouldn't know if people at work were at it. And they wouldn't admit it if they were.
Clubs are often quiet. The site is busy but that's 20,000 over the whole UK.
People have home meets or use other sites.
Still a low %. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I wouldn't like to guess really. As most people are discreet you wouldn't know if people at work were at it. And they wouldn't admit it if they were."
So far at my work I know of 4 people on here that work at the same place as me 2 of which have approached me at work the other two don't know we know they swing and it will stay that way until they find us on here or in a club. I have been told there is a few more where I work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"or as opposed to being on here
i reckon it's becoming normal/common"
Nope I dont think so at all. You only have to sit in a mothers morning when the couple had been on Jeremy Kyle and hear the disgust most people show at those that have multiple partners .
According to my vanilla friends women that have had more than 10men their life are disgusting disease ridden sluts... I nearly choked trying to stiffle my giggles x |
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I think it's unwise to assume that its insecurity or lack of imagination that stops people from swinging. It quite often is because people simply dont want to and are happy with monogamy.
Thinking that because people are different they are wrong doesn't fit very well with my idea of sexual freedom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I wouldn't like to guess really. As most people are discreet you wouldn't know if people at work were at it. And they wouldn't admit it if they were.
So far at my work I know of 4 people on here that work at the same place as me 2 of which have approached me at work the other two don't know we know they swing and it will stay that way until they find us on here or in a club. I have been told there is a few more where I work"
But you haven't mentioned the size of the company you work for...how many employees? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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there is those that do and those they wish and when they lie in their box they all say I wish I had of ....
lol
such is life
live it or lose it cos when it is gone it is gone
xx happy swinging xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"there is those that do and those they wish and when they lie in their box they all say I wish I had of ....
lol
such is life
live it or lose it cos when it is gone it is gone
xx happy swinging xx"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's unwise to assume that its insecurity or lack of imagination that stops people from swinging. It quite often is because people simply dont want to and are happy with monogamy.
Thinking that because people are different they are wrong doesn't fit very well with my idea of sexual freedom."
Very true... Its like those on here that think that If you don't play separate its insecurity etc... Well yes I am sure there is a bit of that.. I know for me it is but mostly lack of buzz.. however there are plenty that through around that it's wrong to do it this way it that way.. Its not wrong, just different x |
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I think most couples are monogamous by default, they haven't considered other options and chosen monogamy, they are monogamous because they think everyone else is. "
Or they are genuinely happy with each other in a monogamous relationship and haven't looked into other options because they're don't feel they need to. |
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"I think it's unwise to assume that its insecurity or lack of imagination that stops people from swinging. It quite often is because people simply dont want to and are happy with monogamy.
Thinking that because people are different they are wrong doesn't fit very well with my idea of sexual freedom."
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Well we tell most of our friends what we do, a good percentage have asked us to take them to a club, people having threesomes and moresomes is probably low in number, however couples who are open to the idea is probably above 50% |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"
I think most couples are monogamous by default, they haven't considered other options and chosen monogamy, they are monogamous because they think everyone else is.
Or they are genuinely happy with each other in a monogamous relationship and haven't looked into other options because they're don't feel they need to."
So you think most relationships have conversations discussing monogamy, swinging, poly, open etc. And then between them they choose monogamy? I have never had that conversation at the start of a relationship. Have you? Or anyone else on here who didn't meet through swinging?
My wife and I only discussed other relationship styles after being together for 7-8 years. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I wouldn't like to guess really. As most people are discreet you wouldn't know if people at work were at it. And they wouldn't admit it if they were.
So far at my work I know of 4 people on here that work at the same place as me 2 of which have approached me at work the other two don't know we know they swing and it will stay that way until they find us on here or in a club. I have been told there is a few more where I work"
Do you work in a swinger's club?  
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"I bet most couples secretly do have threesomes and foursomes..
No, most couples only have sex with eachother.... Some, not very often. Threesomes and group sex are fairly rare outside the swinging world.
Between 2 -5% of the population i should imagine.
I think being a swinger slants the perception. Swingers have swingers as friends... hence it seems popular. It's really not.
what % of people who you say do it?"
|
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"
I think most couples are monogamous by default, they haven't considered other options and chosen monogamy, they are monogamous because they think everyone else is.
Or they are genuinely happy with each other in a monogamous relationship and haven't looked into other options because they're don't feel they need to."
Or life is simply in the way....
For most of the population, sex is way down the list of thigs to do. |
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"Well we tell most of our friends what we do, a good percentage have asked us to take them to a club, people having threesomes and moresomes is probably low in number, however couples who are open to the idea is probably above 50%"
I think most are open to it, but it is such a small subculture, that is so protective of its lifestyle, not particularly open or inclusive.
It's no different to any other activity... The older kids hog the ball. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Well we tell most of our friends what we do, a good percentage have asked us to take them to a club, people having threesomes and moresomes is probably low in number, however couples who are open to the idea is probably above 50%
I think most are open to it, but it is such a small subculture, that is so protective of its lifestyle, not particularly open or inclusive.
It's no different to any other activity... The older kids hog the ball."
I think swinging is quite easy to get into, clubs, websites etc. The more the merrier. I don't think it's closed or exclusive. |
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I think most couples are monogamous by default, they haven't considered other options and chosen monogamy, they are monogamous because they think everyone else is.
Or they are genuinely happy with each other in a monogamous relationship and haven't looked into other options because they're don't feel they need to.
So you think most relationships have conversations discussing monogamy, swinging, poly, open etc. And then between them they choose monogamy? I have never had that conversation at the start of a relationship. Have you? Or anyone else on here who didn't meet through swinging?
My wife and I only discussed other relationship styles after being together for 7-8 years. "
Of course I don't think that, you had that conversation and got into swinging, good for you.
Don't assume everyone else should have that conversation and make a conscience decision either way.
Most people are perfectly happy being monogamous, why should they talk about something they have no need to? |
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"Well we tell most of our friends what we do, a good percentage have asked us to take them to a club, people having threesomes and moresomes is probably low in number, however couples who are open to the idea is probably above 50%
I think most are open to it, but it is such a small subculture, that is so protective of its lifestyle, not particularly open or inclusive.
It's no different to any other activity... The older kids hog the ball.
I think swinging is quite easy to get into, clubs, websites etc. The more the merrier. I don't think it's closed or exclusive. "
agreed...we've been welcomed |
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I think most couples are monogamous by default, they haven't considered other options and chosen monogamy, they are monogamous because they think everyone else is.
Or they are genuinely happy with each other in a monogamous relationship and haven't looked into other options because they're don't feel they need to.
So you think most relationships have conversations discussing monogamy, swinging, poly, open etc. And then between them they choose monogamy? I have never had that conversation at the start of a relationship. Have you? Or anyone else on here who didn't meet through swinging?
My wife and I only discussed other relationship styles after being together for 7-8 years. "
I don't think that the majority of people ever discuss alternatives to monogamy whether this is due to nature or nurture I have no idea but I doubt it crosses many people's mind to follow anything other than serial monogamy.
We only discussed other relationship styles after being together for nearly thirty years  .
I think lots of people spend their entire relationship living with their hopes, dreams and deepest desires unspoken between them. |
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"
I think most couples are monogamous by default, they haven't considered other options and chosen monogamy, they are monogamous because they think everyone else is.
Or they are genuinely happy with each other in a monogamous relationship and haven't looked into other options because they're don't feel they need to.
So you think most relationships have conversations discussing monogamy, swinging, poly, open etc. And then between them they choose monogamy? I have never had that conversation at the start of a relationship. Have you? Or anyone else on here who didn't meet through swinging?
My wife and I only discussed other relationship styles after being together for 7-8 years.
I don't think that the majority of people ever discuss alternatives to monogamy whether this is due to nature or nurture I have no idea but I doubt it crosses many people's mind to follow anything other than serial monogamy.
We only discussed other relationship styles after being together for nearly thirty years .
I think lots of people spend their entire relationship living with their hopes, dreams and deepest desires unspoken between them."
Totally agree.... Then they go off and try to fulfil those desires, hopes and dreams totally separately...
And some of us are jus simply solitary creatures, who have been encouraged to live the pair bonding lifestyle that should never be part of our lives. |
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"Well we tell most of our friends what we do, a good percentage have asked us to take them to a club, people having threesomes and moresomes is probably low in number, however couples who are open to the idea is probably above 50%
I think most are open to it, but it is such a small subculture, that is so protective of its lifestyle, not particularly open or inclusive.
It's no different to any other activity... The older kids hog the ball.
I think swinging is quite easy to get into, clubs, websites etc. The more the merrier. I don't think it's closed or exclusive. "
Someone invited me into NASA once, my view of that is similar. |
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"Well we tell most of our friends what we do, a good percentage have asked us to take them to a club, people having threesomes and moresomes is probably low in number, however couples who are open to the idea is probably above 50%
I think most are open to it, but it is such a small subculture, that is so protective of its lifestyle, not particularly open or inclusive.
It's no different to any other activity... The older kids hog the ball.
I think swinging is quite easy to get into, clubs, websites etc. The more the merrier. I don't think it's closed or exclusive. "
Not meaning that to sound sarcastic, just illustrating the point. |
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I think most couples are monogamous by default, they haven't considered other options and chosen monogamy, they are monogamous because they think everyone else is.
Or they are genuinely happy with each other in a monogamous relationship and haven't looked into other options because they're don't feel they need to.
So you think most relationships have conversations discussing monogamy, swinging, poly, open etc. And then between them they choose monogamy? I have never had that conversation at the start of a relationship. Have you? Or anyone else on here who didn't meet through swinging?
My wife and I only discussed other relationship styles after being together for 7-8 years.
I don't think that the majority of people ever discuss alternatives to monogamy whether this is due to nature or nurture I have no idea but I doubt it crosses many people's mind to follow anything other than serial monogamy.
We only discussed other relationship styles after being together for nearly thirty years .
I think lots of people spend their entire relationship living with their hopes, dreams and deepest desires unspoken between them.
Totally agree.... Then they go off and try to fulfil those desires, hopes and dreams totally separately...
And some of us are jus simply solitary creatures, who have been encouraged to live the pair bonding lifestyle that should never be part of our lives."
I think if we all felt able to follow the relationship style we felt suited us most a lot of problems wouldn't even occur. |
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I think most couples are monogamous by default, they haven't considered other options and chosen monogamy, they are monogamous because they think everyone else is.
Or they are genuinely happy with each other in a monogamous relationship and haven't looked into other options because they're don't feel they need to.
So you think most relationships have conversations discussing monogamy, swinging, poly, open etc. And then between them they choose monogamy? I have never had that conversation at the start of a relationship. Have you? Or anyone else on here who didn't meet through swinging?
My wife and I only discussed other relationship styles after being together for 7-8 years.
I don't think that the majority of people ever discuss alternatives to monogamy whether this is due to nature or nurture I have no idea but I doubt it crosses many people's mind to follow anything other than serial monogamy.
We only discussed other relationship styles after being together for nearly thirty years .
I think lots of people spend their entire relationship living with their hopes, dreams and deepest desires unspoken between them.
Totally agree.... Then they go off and try to fulfil those desires, hopes and dreams totally separately...
And some of us are jus simply solitary creatures, who have been encouraged to live the pair bonding lifestyle that should never be part of our lives.
I think if we all felt able to follow the relationship style we felt suited us most a lot of problems wouldn't even occur."
I think we do as we get older.... It's just the bloody stupid shit we go through as kids that shapes our lives. |
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I think most couples are monogamous by default, they haven't considered other options and chosen monogamy, they are monogamous because they think everyone else is.
Or they are genuinely happy with each other in a monogamous relationship and haven't looked into other options because they're don't feel they need to.
So you think most relationships have conversations discussing monogamy, swinging, poly, open etc. And then between them they choose monogamy? I have never had that conversation at the start of a relationship. Have you? Or anyone else on here who didn't meet through swinging?
My wife and I only discussed other relationship styles after being together for 7-8 years.
I don't think that the majority of people ever discuss alternatives to monogamy whether this is due to nature or nurture I have no idea but I doubt it crosses many people's mind to follow anything other than serial monogamy.
We only discussed other relationship styles after being together for nearly thirty years .
I think lots of people spend their entire relationship living with their hopes, dreams and deepest desires unspoken between them.
Totally agree.... Then they go off and try to fulfil those desires, hopes and dreams totally separately...
And some of us are jus simply solitary creatures, who have been encouraged to live the pair bonding lifestyle that should never be part of our lives.
I think if we all felt able to follow the relationship style we felt suited us most a lot of problems wouldn't even occur.
I think we do as we get older.... It's just the bloody stupid shit we go through as kids that shapes our lives."
I think you're probably right. When we discussed all this we said more or less the same. |
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