FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Ashamed for being on here
Ashamed for being on here
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
 |
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"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
"
Neither are we, still not making our face pictures public though.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
Neither are we, still not making our face pictures public though.
"
Im
Not asking lol and u scare me   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We don't have face pics on public, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we are ashamed to be on here,
Different strokes for different folks  "
No but when U read profiles i read it |
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"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
Neither are we, still not making our face pictures public though.
Im
Not asking lol and u scare me "
You'd be even more scared if you saw our faces .
Seriously though.....do I? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As much as unashamed some may be, some families are very old fashioned and if found out they wouldn't be very supporting, friends may think ew they go with anything with a pulse and because of it could be diseased to the skies. As much as we wanna be open its difficult to explain to people how open minded someone actually is Without being judged - not being ashamed it's keeping Family from judging us further more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
Neither are we, still not making our face pictures public though.
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
Neither are we, still not making our face pictures public though.
Im
Not asking lol and u scare me
You'd be even more scared if you saw our faces .
Seriously though.....do I?"
Your fiesty and yes. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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many professions have employment clauses mentioning penalties for employees bringing their profession into disrepute...i'm sure that influences a lot of people...mainly though its plain discretion....i dont want the world knowing my business,nothing to do with feeling ashamed, just think its no-one elses business |
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"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
Neither are we, still not making our face pictures public though.
Im
Not asking lol and u scare me
You'd be even more scared if you saw our faces .
Seriously though.....do I?
Your fiesty and yes. X"
Oh! Well I'm not scary honestly.  |
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"As much as unashamed some may be, some families are very old fashioned and if found out they wouldn't be very supporting, friends may think ew they go with anything with a pulse and because of it could be diseased to the skies. As much as we wanna be open its difficult to explain to people how open minded someone actually is Without being judged - not being ashamed it's keeping Family from judging us further more. "
Of course, you'll be spotted by other people who use this site but about trusting them to respect your privacy. Some do, some don't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't believe it's because people are ashamed..."
There's no shame attached to this for me, I am however, a fairly private person and seriously can't be bothered to explain what this is all about to those that would ask - and ask they would! |
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"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
"
Not ashamed, just careful!
Jayne would lose her job straight away if it was known we swing... and yes, we are aware that her boss couldn't use that as a reason, but they would get rid of her on some trumped up reason.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not ashamed I just do have to be careful due to my job, there are a lot of people who wouldn't want me to go into their homes if they knew I was on a site like this and my job is important to me |
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Isn't there something about 'so you've seen me on here so what were you doing on there then?' and something about the joy that is not hiding one's true self from the world?
That's not to say I don't understand why some want or need to be more discrete. |
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"Isn't there something about 'so you've seen me on here so what were you doing on there then?' and something about the joy that is not hiding one's true self from the world?
That's not to say I don't understand why some want or need to be more discrete."
I don't really see how not publishing your face on the internet is hiding your true self  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Isn't there something about 'so you've seen me on here so what were you doing on there then?' and something about the joy that is not hiding one's true self from the world?
That's not to say I don't understand why some want or need to be more discrete."
Had that.
Im
On about why is being a swinger sobad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Isn't there something about 'so you've seen me on here so what were you doing on there then?' and something about the joy that is not hiding one's true self from the world?
That's not to say I don't understand why some want or need to be more discrete.
Had that.
Im
On about why is being a swinger sobad. "
to us it's not
to some is it
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
There are many reasons to maintain. A level of privacy.
Work is one. But just because someone is happy to acknowledge their lifestyle on here don't forget few people live in isolation.
There is a potential impact on others - kids, family, friends, work colleagues, neighbours - the list is endless.
Maintaining discretion is as much about protecting the privacy and lives of these others as much as your own.
A |
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well your lucky ! some people have to keep stuff private for a number of reasons ..i have 3 kids and a mother that i woudnt want to know what a slut i like to be .not to mention all the people i meet during the course of my work nothing wrong with having a few secrets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't see it as something to be ashamed of but i also don't see my private life as public domain. If i were single and not in a profession where what i do would be a problem and i didn't live where i do then I might see things differently but to suggest that all those that do need to be more discrete do so because they are ashamed and not to protect their family and or career is a little bit narrow minded. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't see it as something to be ashamed of but i also don't see my private life as public domain. If i were single and not in a profession where what i do would be a problem and i didn't live where i do then I might see things differently but to suggest that all those that do need to be more discrete do so because they are ashamed and not to protect their family and or career is a little bit narrow minded. "
And yes I'm aware the punctuation fairy forgot to visit my post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im not ashamed either. But I did get contacted on my last excursion on the site with a request to help them out getting laid or else they would be having words with my boss.
I told them both to go fuck themselves and deleted my profile, rejoining a while later under a different username.
Truth be told though Id be more worried about someone who knew my daughter recognising me and giving her stick over it when she gets older.
But every now and again I move my face pic from friends gallery to public for ten minutes or so. I know, Im so daring... |
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"many professions have employment clauses mentioning penalties for employees bringing their profession into disrepute...i'm sure that influences a lot of people...mainly though its plain discretion....i dont want the world knowing my business,nothing to do with feeling ashamed, just think its no-one elses business"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
"
Nor are we |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your fiesty and yes. X
Oh! Well I'm not scary honestly. "
Oh yes you are
I only get 2 messages a decade, if I showed my face pic that would be quartered |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"its amazing how many high profile people there are on here, the work excuse is the worse of the lot."
You don't have to be 'high profile' to require discretion or be at risk of losing your job.
Is it really that hard to understand?
A |
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I suspect people are not ashamed, but afraid for their jobs!
I do have face pics on my profile but to be honest I suspect my job would be in serious jeopardy if my employers found out.
That doesn't make me ashamed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right
This is not about face photos
Its about for example "tell them we met at a party"
Or im not a swinger or desprate for sex
Etc"
You didn't say any of that in your OP?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Right
This is not about face photos
Its about for example "tell them we met at a party"
Or im not a swinger or desprate for sex
Etc
You didn't say any of that in your OP?? "
I thought it was obvious. The quotes was examples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right
This is not about face photos
Its about for example "tell them we met at a party"
Or im not a swinger or desprate for sex
Etc
You didn't say any of that in your OP??
I thought it was obvious. The quotes was examples "
No your Op implied that those that hide their pics are ashamed. That is why we have all picked up on that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Right
This is not about face photos
Its about for example "tell them we met at a party"
Or im not a swinger or desprate for sex
Etc
You didn't say any of that in your OP??
I thought it was obvious. The quotes was examples
No your Op implied that those that hide their pics are ashamed. That is why we have all picked up on that. "
Sorry I should have worded it better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am not ashamed.
I am now comfortable expressing who i am and what i am but i am still not comfortable in everyone in the world knowing that yet.
Plus i would be sacked if it was known LOL |
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"Do people talk about swinging with friends and work colleagues? What reaction do you get?"
No. I only discuss my sex life with people that are possibly going to be involved in it or medical people apart from on fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would be sacked if my employer found out,also would make my job difficult if my clients found out. Nothing to do with being ashamed, just have to consider practicalities! |
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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago
A seaside town near you! |
"I would be sacked if my employer found out,also would make my job difficult if my clients found out. Nothing to do with being ashamed, just have to consider practicalities! "
This for me too I'm not ashamed to be on here but I'm not going to publicise it and risk my hard earned career! |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Right
This is not about face photos
Its about for example "tell them we met at a party"
Or im not a swinger or desprate for sex
Etc
You didn't say any of that in your OP??
I thought it was obvious. The quotes was examples
No your Op implied that those that hide their pics are ashamed. That is why we have all picked up on that. "
That's what I thought you meant too Jaqs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do people talk about swinging with friends and work colleagues? What reaction do you get?"
is it normal in your social or work environment to discuss yOur sex life? |
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At work I work. I talk about work and think about work. I don't have time to text or take calls as it is full on. Why would any of my colleagues need to know what I do in the little spare time I have? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Right
This is not about face photos
Its about for example "tell them we met at a party"
Or im not a swinger or desprate for sex
Etc
You didn't say any of that in your OP??
I thought it was obvious. The quotes was examples
No your Op implied that those that hide their pics are ashamed. That is why we have all picked up on that.
That's what I thought you meant too Jaqs"
Sorry lack of sleep. Ill walk away from the keyboard x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people, like me for example have jobs in the public light, where day in day out your dealing with numerous different people in different areas. Therefore as a representation of that company/firm it's important for me to stay discreet, A to keep my job and B to allow my career to hopefully flourish unhindered |
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"Right
This is not about face photos
Its about for example "tell them we met at a party"
Or im not a swinger or desprate for sex
Etc
You didn't say any of that in your OP??
I thought it was obvious. The quotes was examples
No your Op implied that those that hide their pics are ashamed. That is why we have all picked up on that.
That's what I thought you meant too Jaqs
Sorry lack of sleep. Ill walk away from the keyboard x"
Glad that's cleared up!
I don't think it's being ashamed, it's just that certain information is on a need-to-know basis.
I'm happy for people want to sing from the rooftops that they're members of this site and part in their lifestyle but the fact remains that it would do more harm than good for some people if this information was made public.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its amazing how many high profile people there are on here, the work excuse is the worse of the lot.
You don't have to be 'high profile' to require discretion or be at risk of losing your job.
Is it really that hard to understand?
A"
I think you've missed the point a bit. |
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Given the recent events of AFF being hacked and all of it's membership details being gathered I think it's important that folks are a bit careful. It probably also explains how my debit card got hacked recently, even though I haven't been active on there for over a year.
I'm more than happy to share private pics that have my face on display. But I also feel that my sex life is my own business. If I want to tell someone on here about it, I will, but generally I won't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Given the recent events of AFF being hacked and all of it's membership details being gathered I think it's important that folks are a bit careful. It probably also explains how my debit card got hacked recently, even though I haven't been active on there for over a year.
I'm more than happy to share private pics that have my face on display. But I also feel that my sex life is my own business. If I want to tell someone on here about it, I will, but generally I won't."
If you share these "private" pictures they aren't private any more they'll be off on the tumblr style blogs if the wrong person gets them (or the right person with a dodgy app or program on thier phone/pc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
"
But you have no face pics and your profile says you are no longer 'in the scene' just here for the chat... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
"
....its called discretion dear..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What about this scenario as many people have mentioned bosses and work etc. ' you arrive at chams walk through to the bar where you see your boss dressed in a towel '? Do you ignore him??? Similar thing happened to us with a colleague. |
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"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
"
Nor am I, however I don't want random strangers coming up to me in tesco!  |
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"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
But you have no face pics and your profile says you are no longer 'in the scene' just here for the chat..."
If you're forum regulars you will know that she regularly uses a face pic as an avatar.
|
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"its amazing how many high profile people there are on here, the work excuse is the worse of the lot.
You don't have to be 'high profile' to require discretion or be at risk of losing your job.
Is it really that hard to understand?
A"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
But you have no face pics and your profile says you are no longer 'in the scene' just here for the chat...
If you're forum regulars you will know that she regularly uses a face pic as an avatar.
"
Well we are, but never seen her before.
Just feels like the OP is making a somewhat ironic point when you then go view her current profile.
Not hating, just making an honest observation. |
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"its amazing how many high profile people there are on here, the work excuse is the worse of the lot.
You don't have to be 'high profile' to require discretion or be at risk of losing your job.
Is it really that hard to understand?
A
I think you've missed the point a bit."
Don't think they did. You said that the 'work' excuse was the worse one of the lot, when actually it's a perfectly valid excuse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
People in monogamous sexual relationships don't advertise what they do,why should anyone else. Keeping your face private is a sensible thing to do on a site like this for people who could find themselves victims of other peoples' nastiness. I'm not ashamed of what I do but I don't fancy being the talk of the playground when I go to pick my grandchildren up. |
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I just don't see what my sex life here has anything to do with anyone but me and my hubby. It's my private life and choose to keep it as such . I've no idea why others off the site would need to know what I do or even want to know ,unless to gossip . |
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"Not into blind dates so a face pic is essential,pretty silly being on any type of dating site scared to show your face,dont be ashamed, get laid xx"
Erm this isn't a dating site dear...
And people can have private pics or friends only pics to show to potential meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not into blind dates so a face pic is essential,pretty silly being on any type of dating site scared to show your face,dont be ashamed, get laid xx
Erm this isn't a dating site dear...
And people can have private pics or friends only pics to show to potential meets. "
There is a lot of people who say "won't send face pics" though.
I wonder how desperate you have to bee to meet someone you've not seen though |
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By *1968Man
over a year ago
Wokingham |
I hear so many comments on here about the number of messages women get and on occasion how many times that get abuse for saying 'no thanks' or not responding. I surprised that no one has mentioned the how this kind of 'abuse' could become out of control if work colleagues or neighbours knew a woman was on this site. Its much easier to block an anonymous dickhead on here than have to 'block' them everyday at work.. yes the law protects people but why have the hassle and shit that comes with it.. for the record i dont have a face pic for just those very reasons - i just wouldnt want the hassle of having women chasing me down the street everyday thinking im easy |
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"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
"
. I don't think it is anything to do with shame . A lot of members will not want their families or friends to see that they are on here . If you have a responsible job, your employer may not take a favourable view of your pictures . Members are here to enjoy themselves . There is no need to unnecessary publicise your activities . |
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For us, shame really doesn't come into it. We are happy to send face pics to people who we're interested in. We don't have public face pics because we are both in public facing jobs. I work at a school for example, and really wouldn't want any of the kids finding my pictures... it's not shame, just sensible |
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"Not into blind dates so a face pic is essential,pretty silly being on any type of dating site scared to show your face,dont be ashamed, get laid xx
Erm this isn't a dating site dear...
And people can have private pics or friends only pics to show to potential meets. "
|
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By *d871Man
over a year ago
nowhere |
As you can see from my own profile, I believe that we should all have face pics. After all, my response to anyone who questions me about being on here is, "So what were YOU doing on there? " |
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"For us, shame really doesn't come into it. We are happy to send face pics to people who we're interested in. We don't have public face pics because we are both in public facing jobs. I work at a school for example, and really wouldn't want any of the kids finding my pictures... it's not shame, just sensible"
Can see how this could be a problem. There must be loads of kids on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The fact is for us we have a 17 and 14 year old, and he it came out what we got up to it would embarrass them no end, and course them more trouble than its worth,
So its not anything totem with being ashamed its to do with protecting our family |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People in monogamous sexual relationships don't advertise what they do,why should anyone else. Keeping your face private is a sensible thing to do on a site like this for people who could find themselves victims of other peoples' nastiness. I'm not ashamed of what I do but I don't fancy being the talk of the playground when I go to pick my grandchildren up. "
You would only be the talk of other people on here......so actually you wouldn't be the subject of talk...or your cone back would be "oh I hadn't realised you were on a swinging site too" surely? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
Neither are we, still not making our face pictures public though.
"
I think the OP was referring to the ones that don't have face pics at all, including in private galleries |
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"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
"
Some professions would terminate your employment if you were found to be on a site such as this, i'm not saying thats right as i feel its ridiculous, but an ex, who was a teacher, had to attend a course on how to use Facebook, so her pupils couldn't get hold of or see anything about her, imagining turning up to work at a school with a 1000 pupils and pictures from here where doing the rounds. |
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"
Can see how this could be a problem. There must be loads of kids on here."
It is very easy to make an account and have a look around.... With no proof of age, just a box to tick.
There is also the possibility of a parent saying to their child "guess what...". This is the type of reason why WE decide who sees our faces. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do people talk about swinging with friends and work colleagues? What reaction do you get?
is it normal in your social or work environment to discuss yOur sex life?"
I talk about swinging to my boss, he is fully aware I swing out of work, he knows I don't bring the company into disrepute, or swing on contracted works hours |
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"its amazing how many high profile people there are on here, the work excuse is the worse of the lot.
You don't have to be 'high profile' to require discretion or be at risk of losing your job.
Is it really that hard to understand?
A
I think you've missed the point a bit.
Don't think they did. You said that the 'work' excuse was the worse one of the lot, when actually it's a perfectly valid excuse. "
Why don't people get this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Can see how this could be a problem. There must be loads of kids on here.
It is very easy to make an account and have a look around.... With no proof of age, just a box to tick.
There is also the possibility of a parent saying to their child "guess what...". This is the type of reason why WE decide who sees our faces."
I knew someone who's daughter was given a tip off about her dad and she came on and well it didn't end well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Can see how this could be a problem. There must be loads of kids on here.
It is very easy to make an account and have a look around.... With no proof of age, just a box to tick.
There is also the possibility of a parent saying to their child "guess what...". This is the type of reason why WE decide who sees our faces.
I knew someone who's daughter was given a tip off about her dad and she came on and well it didn't end well. "
ha ha ha shouldnt laught but what wanker would grass someone to their daughter |
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"i see many profiles saying
Cant show face pics as work
Or
I don't want mates to find out
Thing is im not ashamed that in in the swing scene or fet scene
"
Might cost some people the Job if pics get shown at work!,not all bosses will have same opinion as yours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As much as unashamed some may be, some families are very old fashioned and if found out they wouldn't be very supporting, friends may think ew they go with anything with a pulse and because of it could be diseased to the skies. As much as we wanna be open its difficult to explain to people how open minded someone actually is Without being judged - not being ashamed it's keeping Family from judging us further more.
Of course, you'll be spotted by other people who use this site but about trusting them to respect your privacy. Some do, some don't"
I've learned not to trust anybody on here without knowing them! |
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"As you can see from my own profile, I believe that we should all have face pics. After all, my response to anyone who questions me about being on here is, "So what were YOU doing on there? ""
. The only problem with this is that your employer or friends might not take the same attitude . Members in high profile or public service jobs cannot afford to take this type of risk..
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"Do people talk about swinging with friends and work colleagues? What reaction do you get?
is it normal in your social or work environment to discuss yOur sex life?
I talk about swinging to my boss, he is fully aware I swing out of work, he knows I don't bring the company into disrepute, or swing on contracted works hours"
. I assume you work in the private and not public sector . |
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By *onyneMan
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"many professions have employment clauses mentioning penalties for employees bringing their profession into disrepute...i'm sure that influences a lot of people...mainly though its plain discretion....i dont want the world knowing my business,nothing to do with feeling ashamed, just think its no-one elses business"
This is completely how I feel about things...We are all different and shame doesn't come into it...but privacy, personal choice, and discretion all do
Have a great bank holiday weekend all |
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"Do people talk about swinging with friends and work colleagues? What reaction do you get?
is it normal in your social or work environment to discuss yOur sex life?"
. I would say no. Why would anyone want to talk about swinging or their meets at work. I would think it is rather foolish to do so, especially if you have a responsible job. |
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"Do people talk about swinging with friends and work colleagues? What reaction do you get?"
with friends, yes if it's brought into the conversation. Indeed most of our friends know. However work colleagues do not know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not ashamed of my sex life, but I've no plans to discuss any of the details of it with friends, family and work colleagues...I wouldn't if I was in a monogamous relationship so I don't see what the difference is. My sex life is my own.
And as for all those saying that if anyone sees your profile they'll be discrete for fear of being outed themselves, trust me it isn't an issue to some...and there's the whole 'look what a friend showed me' defence too for them. Plus a single guy with multiple partners gets a pat on the back...a single woman however is still deemed to be a slag with no self respect, and couples no doubt will have people questioning the sexual ability of one/both partners. I've mentioned before that I was outed in a previous workplace, and whilst it didn't affect my job I could silence most rooms just by walking through the door, and was told of some of the less than complimentary things said about me...of course some people I'm also told were cool with it and simply said it was none of their business. I got a bit bored of being talked about though and people either making sly comments about what I was up to at the weekend or being too afraid to ask in case I told them anything about my swinging fun! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I choose to be private enough for me. If people don't like that then tough! One of the first rule of any sexual relationship is `no means no'. No face pic means no face pic. If someone cannot get that - I don't want to meet them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am not ashamed to be on here. I will show what I want to show though.
I don't believe that people are ashamed as such, they just don't feel the need to display everything.
As for giving the reason of work for their privacy then that is a valid reason. Work and home life are more important than a profile and swinging. |
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"many professions have employment clauses mentioning penalties for employees bringing their profession into disrepute...i'm sure that influences a lot of people...mainly though its plain discretion....i dont want the world knowing my business,nothing to do with feeling ashamed, just think its no-one elses business"
Simply this!
We live in a time where some people feel the need to share the minutiae of their lives with all and sundry. Discretion is a word some are unfamiliar with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"many professions have employment clauses mentioning penalties for employees bringing their profession into disrepute...i'm sure that influences a lot of people...mainly though its plain discretion....i dont want the world knowing my business,nothing to do with feeling ashamed, just think its no-one elses business
Simply this!
We live in a time where some people feel the need to share the minutiae of their lives with all and sundry. Discretion is a word some are unfamiliar with. "
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"
Same, whats so shameful about admitting you like sex?
"
Absolutely nothing , but do the public need to know this . The site is a tool which helps members to arrange meets , it is not necessary to publish details of your sex life on it if you can be identified . Discretion is important to many members and I am certain that they do not want their children , friends , family or work colleagues seeing what they get up to in private . In any event , who needs to know your private life . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People in monogamous sexual relationships don't advertise what they do,why should anyone else. Keeping your face private is a sensible thing to do on a site like this for people who could find themselves victims of other peoples' nastiness. I'm not ashamed of what I do but I don't fancy being the talk of the playground when I go to pick my grandchildren up.
You would only be the talk of other people on here......so actually you wouldn't be the subject of talk...or your cone back would be "oh I hadn't realised you were on a swinging site too" surely?"
You obviously don't know how the playground network works. Rumours/stories go around and no one will know who started them. It takes one mouth to tell two others,who tell two others,who tell a dinner lady,who tells a TA,who tells a teacher etc. It wouldn't bother me as such,but with the stigma attached to sexually liberated women it might not be nice for my daughter and grandchildren. Personally,I don't give a fuck who knows but I have family to consider. In fact,some adults in my family know I have more than one man in my life,I wouldn't take it upon myself to thrust my phone in their faces and say I'm on this site meeting men for NSA sex too. Isn't that grand! |
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By *onyneMan
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"People in monogamous sexual relationships don't advertise what they do,why should anyone else. Keeping your face private is a sensible thing to do on a site like this for people who could find themselves victims of other peoples' nastiness. I'm not ashamed of what I do but I don't fancy being the talk of the playground when I go to pick my grandchildren up.
You would only be the talk of other people on here......so actually you wouldn't be the subject of talk...or your cone back would be "oh I hadn't realised you were on a swinging site too" surely?
You obviously don't know how the playground network works. Rumours/stories go around and no one will know who started them. It takes one mouth to tell two others,who tell two others,who tell a dinner lady,who tells a TA,who tells a teacher etc. It wouldn't bother me as such,but with the stigma attached to sexually liberated women it might not be nice for my daughter and grandchildren. Personally,I don't give a fuck who knows but I have family to consider. In fact,some adults in my family know I have more than one man in my life,I wouldn't take it upon myself to thrust my phone in their faces and say I'm on this site meeting men for NSA sex too. Isn't that grand! "
Completely agree... we show and say what we want to those we wish to, for a number of reasons.
The site is regularly stated to be 'full of fakes', sometimes because of people [like mI guess...] who are careful with things] but some of us are careful of things in response to liking to be more certain who it is things get shared with...It is one of those damned if you do things.
It is a great site, and I am never sure why we can't all use it the way we wish, and communicate and meet in whichever way feels right to the individual.
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