FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Whose Responsibility?
Whose Responsibility?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is off the back of another thread and I know it's been covered before, but I'm stunned at the advice the OP was given.
They'd agreed on safe sex, but he didn't use a condom and she didn't stop him. The advice given was that she should always carry them. Really!!
If you're going to have sex with a relative stranger and don't take condoms with you, what does that say about you? It tells me you're a tosser who couldn't give a fuck about yourself and the person you're playing with, that you have no sense of responsibility for yourself or others and that you're a total fuckwit. I'm not having a pop at single men here. I've met enough couples who use the excuse 'we don't play with others much and obviously don't use them ourselves…' Bollox! You want to play with other, then get off your arse and get yourselves sorted.
No condoms. No excuses. No play.
If people can't be arsed to be responsible for themselves why does the onus fall on the other person? |
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"This is off the back of another thread and I know it's been covered before, but I'm stunned at the advice the OP was given.
They'd agreed on safe sex, but he didn't use a condom and she didn't stop him. The advice given was that she should always carry them. Really!!
If you're going to have sex with a relative stranger and don't take condoms with you, what does that say about you? It tells me you're a tosser who couldn't give a fuck about yourself and the person you're playing with, that you have no sense of responsibility for yourself or others and that you're a total fuckwit. I'm not having a pop at single men here. I've met enough couples who use the excuse 'we don't play with others much and obviously don't use them ourselves…' Bollox! You want to play with other, then get off your arse and get yourselves sorted.
No condoms. No excuses. No play.
If people can't be arsed to be responsible for themselves why does the onus fall on the other person?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do agree with your point op.
But sadly lots here are irresponsible and will try it on.
I don't often play with fellas. But I have condoms scattered throughout my bags which I take on meets with me.
If I insist On no barebacking then I'm responsible to myself to enforce this rule.
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
That wasn't my reading of the advice.
Most thought they were both in the wrong.
The man should have respected her choice and she should have told him no.
He chanced his arm and she said ok but don't cum up me.
The advice varied from take your own condoms through you should have kicked him out/left to you should not have let his cock near you.
What elese could have been said? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"responsible for themselves why does the onus fall on the other person? "
Because the average British person always thinks it's someone else's responsibility probably because they are idiots
Look at the thread tonight over getting kids to school |
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"This is off the back of another thread and I know it's been covered before, but I'm stunned at the advice the OP was given.
They'd agreed on safe sex, but he didn't use a condom and she didn't stop him. The advice given was that she should always carry them. Really!!
If you're going to have sex with a relative stranger and don't take condoms with you, what does that say about you? It tells me you're a tosser who couldn't give a fuck about yourself and the person you're playing with, that you have no sense of responsibility for yourself or others and that you're a total fuckwit. I'm not having a pop at single men here. I've met enough couples who use the excuse 'we don't play with others much and obviously don't use them ourselves…' Bollox! You want to play with other, then get off your arse and get yourselves sorted.
No condoms. No excuses. No play.
If people can't be arsed to be responsible for themselves why does the onus fall on the other person?"
Lol....you have to be a right idiot to turn up at a meet if you have no condoms when you insist on playing safe...that goes for both people involved..she should have said stop,put one of these on if he didn't bring any,which he should have...and she should have checked seeing as its her body that she's putting at risk.if he already has something then it doesn't matter about his physical integrity cause that's already fucked.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As long as someone has condoms I don't get what the issue is?
both should have them"
Yes. Both should. But I've been guilty of forgetting to take some before. It doesn't make me irresponsible. If neither have them and play was still expected that isn't on, but what does it matter who supplies them? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As long as someone has condoms I don't get what the issue is?"
The issue is people expecting others to be responsible for them. It's not as if condoms are expensive or hard to get. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm confused if she didn't stop him then I would assume she was okay with the scenario. If not tell him no or carry your own condoms to use.
Looking out for yourself is your responsibility no one else's. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That wasn't my reading of the advice.
Most thought they were both in the wrong.
The man should have respected her choice and she should have told him no.
He chanced his arm and she said ok but don't cum up me.
The advice varied from take your own condoms through you should have kicked him out/left to you should not have let his cock near you.
What elese could have been said?"
My point is not about the circumstances of that thread, but about the advice that she should've provided the condoms when he didn't. Why should she?? |
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"As long as someone has condoms I don't get what the issue is?
The issue is people expecting others to be responsible for them. It's not as if condoms are expensive or hard to get."
Never rely on others for your physical well being..especially when it comes to something as easy as exchanging bodily fluids..both should have had condoms.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As long as someone has condoms I don't get what the issue is?
The issue is people expecting others to be responsible for them. It's not as if condoms are expensive or hard to get.
Never rely on others for your physical well being..especially when it comes to something as easy as exchanging bodily fluids..both should have had condoms.."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
My point is not about the circumstances of that thread, but about the advice that she should've provided the condoms when he didn't. Why should she?? "
Because it's obvious that some people are idiots and the only person responsible for your sexual health is you
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"That wasn't my reading of the advice.
Most thought they were both in the wrong.
The man should have respected her choice and she should have told him no.
He chanced his arm and she said ok but don't cum up me.
The advice varied from take your own condoms through you should have kicked him out/left to you should not have let his cock near you.
What elese could have been said?
My point is not about the circumstances of that thread, but about the advice that she should've provided the condoms when he didn't. Why should she?? "
Well why shouldn't she?especially seeing as he didn't bring any! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't deliberately rely on anyone else, but have accidentally forgotten them once. I would have nipped out when I realised, but the other person had some.
Does that sound like a problem, because it didn't seem like it at the time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As long as someone has condoms I don't get what the issue is?
The issue is people expecting others to be responsible for them. It's not as if condoms are expensive or hard to get.
Never rely on others for your physical well being..especially when it comes to something as easy as exchanging bodily fluids..both should have had condoms.. "
I always have condoms but for someone to turn up to play without any tells me all I need to know about them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As long as someone has condoms I don't get what the issue is?
The issue is people expecting others to be responsible for them. It's not as if condoms are expensive or hard to get.
Never rely on others for your physical well being..especially when it comes to something as easy as exchanging bodily fluids..both should have had condoms..
I always have condoms but for someone to turn up to play without any tells me all I need to know about them. "
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"That wasn't my reading of the advice.
Most thought they were both in the wrong.
The man should have respected her choice and she should have told him no.
He chanced his arm and she said ok but don't cum up me.
The advice varied from take your own condoms through you should have kicked him out/left to you should not have let his cock near you.
What elese could have been said?
My point is not about the circumstances of that thread, but about the advice that she should've provided the condoms when he didn't. Why should she?? "
Why not?
She wanted sex he wanted sex, they both agreed that condoms would be used.
It is only sensible in those circumstance for both to bring some so they could enjoy what they were meeting for.
This is the 21st century eaqual rights also means equal responsibility |
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"As long as someone has condoms I don't get what the issue is?
The issue is people expecting others to be responsible for them. It's not as if condoms are expensive or hard to get.
Never rely on others for your physical well being..especially when it comes to something as easy as exchanging bodily fluids..both should have had condoms..
I always have condoms but for someone to turn up to play without any tells me all I need to know about them. "
I pulled a girl many years ago...i bought the condoms knowing she was coming over..however I misplaced the bloody things!they fell down the side of the bloody sofa.obviously she didn't believe me so nothing happened ever again..i found the box three days later!lol,its a funny old judgmental world we live in  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't deliberately rely on anyone else, but have accidentally forgotten them once. I would have nipped out when I realised, but the other person had some.
Does that sound like a problem, because it didn't seem like it at the time. "
Honestly, not good enough in my opinion. You're going to have sex with someone and you forget condoms?? I'm not having a personal pop at you Mr TT, but I just don't get it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is off the back of another thread and I know it's been covered before, but I'm stunned at the advice the OP was given.
They'd agreed on safe sex, but he didn't use a condom and she didn't stop him. The advice given was that she should always carry them. Really!!
If you're going to have sex with a relative stranger and don't take condoms with you, what does that say about you? It tells me you're a tosser who couldn't give a fuck about yourself and the person you're playing with, that you have no sense of responsibility for yourself or others and that you're a total fuckwit. I'm not having a pop at single men here. I've met enough couples who use the excuse 'we don't play with others much and obviously don't use them ourselves…' Bollox! You want to play with other, then get off your arse and get yourselves sorted.
No condoms. No excuses. No play.
If people can't be arsed to be responsible for themselves why does the onus fall on the other person?"
well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always carry condoms just in case the person I'm having sex with doesn't have them for *any* reason - like in the wrong washkit, etc.
If someone doesn't bring them to a meet twice, we'd have to talk about it. If they prefer bareback and are hoping for it, then they're out.
But I always have condoms. Because I like to keep myself safe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always carry condoms just in case the person I'm having sex with doesn't have them for *any* reason - like in the wrong washkit, etc.
If someone doesn't bring them to a meet twice, we'd have to talk about it. If they prefer bareback and are hoping for it, then they're out.
But I always have condoms. Because I like to keep myself safe."
Oh, and I always have female condoms too. So that if they don't want to wear a male condom for comfort, they don't have to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always carry condoms just in case the person I'm having sex with doesn't have them for *any* reason - like in the wrong washkit, etc.
If someone doesn't bring them to a meet twice, we'd have to talk about it. If they prefer bareback and are hoping for it, then they're out.
But I always have condoms. Because I like to keep myself safe."
As I've said, I also have them and perhaps I'm being a little harsh, but I just don't get the mindset of not taking any and expecting to play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I happens way to often tho, the woman say they use condoms and safe sex and all that on the profile but then when the moment comes to fuck her she want to go bareback  |
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"
As I've said, I also have them and perhaps I'm being a little harsh, but I just don't get the mindset of not taking any and expecting to play."
Some men don't like wearing them, so will always try it on. "No worries, here's one" deals with it simply. However she can't have been that fussed to have gone ahead without, and he will have thought "result!"
Maybe if he'd have been shown the door he would remember them the next time.
Mr ddc |
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"As long as someone has condoms I don't get what the issue is?
both should have them"
I don't think being in possession of condoms is the issue. I think not using them is the issue.
In the particular scenario the OP is referring to the man continued regardless of the woman challenging him. She could have been more assertive, and he could have been less of a cunt.
Sadly, she's not the first or the last person this will happen to.
If it were me i'd have fought tooth and nail to get the scumbag off me. If NO hadn't worked i'd have taken it to the police. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As long as someone has condoms I don't get what the issue is?
The issue is people expecting others to be responsible for them. It's not as if condoms are expensive or hard to get.
Never rely on others for your physical well being..especially when it comes to something as easy as exchanging bodily fluids..both should have had condoms..
I always have condoms but for someone to turn up to play without any tells me all I need to know about them.
I pulled a girl many years ago...i bought the condoms knowing she was coming over..however I misplaced the bloody things!they fell down the side of the bloody sofa.obviously she didn't believe me so nothing happened ever again..i found the box three days later!lol,its a funny old judgmental world we live in "
When you've heard all the excuses under the sun, it's hard not to be! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always carry condoms just in case the person I'm having sex with doesn't have them for *any* reason - like in the wrong washkit, etc.
If someone doesn't bring them to a meet twice, we'd have to talk about it. If they prefer bareback and are hoping for it, then they're out.
But I always have condoms. Because I like to keep myself safe.
As I've said, I also have them and perhaps I'm being a little harsh, but I just don't get the mindset of not taking any and expecting to play."
Who knows the mindset but he didn't take any and he still got to play ~ so maybe that answers your question. |
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"That wasn't my reading of the advice.
Most thought they were both in the wrong.
The man should have respected her choice and she should have told him no.
He chanced his arm and she said ok but don't cum up me.
The advice varied from take your own condoms through you should have kicked him out/left to you should not have let his cock near you.
What elese could have been said?
My point is not about the circumstances of that thread, but about the advice that she should've provided the condoms when he didn't. Why should she?? "
She did continue to say she had her own condoms with her so it wasn't the fact they didn't have any. If she really wanted him to wear one I think she would have made him. It's too late regretting the event after it has happened and as for posting it on the forum.. We all know the responses you'd get.  it is our own responsibility to carry condoms but no point carrying them if no one puts one on!  |
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"
In the particular scenario the OP is referring to the man continued regardless of the woman challenging him. She could have been more assertive, and he could have been less of a cunt.
Sadly, she's not the first or the last person this will happen to.
If it were me i'd have fought tooth and nail to get the scumbag off me. If NO hadn't worked i'd have taken it to the police. "
I may have the wrong thread, but as I recall, once they realised neither had them, she said they could go ahead regardless. |
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"
In the particular scenario the OP is referring to the man continued regardless of the woman challenging him. She could have been more assertive, and he could have been less of a cunt.
Sadly, she's not the first or the last person this will happen to.
If it were me i'd have fought tooth and nail to get the scumbag off me. If NO hadn't worked i'd have taken it to the police.
I may have the wrong thread, but as I recall, once they realised neither had them, she said they could go ahead regardless."
Her OP did not state that. |
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"As long as someone has condoms I don't get what the issue is?
The issue is people expecting others to be responsible for them. It's not as if condoms are expensive or hard to get.
Never rely on others for your physical well being..especially when it comes to something as easy as exchanging bodily fluids..both should have had condoms..
I always have condoms but for someone to turn up to play without any tells me all I need to know about them.
I pulled a girl many years ago...i bought the condoms knowing she was coming over..however I misplaced the bloody things!they fell down the side of the bloody sofa.obviously she didn't believe me so nothing happened ever again..i found the box three days later!lol,its a funny old judgmental world we live in
When you've heard all the excuses under the sun, it's hard not to be!"
Shit does happen..but there are also shit loads of chancers out there
Ultimately though I really don't care about what two strangers who I will never meet do or don't do with each other... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The GUM clinics give out condoms to both men and women. So obviously, they feel the responsibility is on both sides. It's not just pointing the finger at who should take responsibility or not, but both should be prepared if any play is on the cards, as its both their responsibility to protect themselves. Personally though I wouldn't expect the chat to bring his own, rather than supplying them, as I would expect him to supply me with a vag condom.
However, if a male turned up to a meet without any condoms, then my attitude towards him would change, unless he genuinely forgot them and then popped out to get some. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always carry condoms just in case the person I'm having sex with doesn't have them for *any* reason - like in the wrong washkit, etc.
If someone doesn't bring them to a meet twice, we'd have to talk about it. If they prefer bareback and are hoping for it, then they're out.
But I always have condoms. Because I like to keep myself safe.
As I've said, I also have them and perhaps I'm being a little harsh, but I just don't get the mindset of not taking any and expecting to play.
Who knows the mindset but he didn't take any and he still got to play ~ so maybe that answers your question."
Perhaps it does. The longer we keep making excuses for the irresponsible ones, the longer they will hang around.
This isn't a question about the in's and out's of the other thread, it's a question about responsibility. |
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"
In the particular scenario the OP is referring to the man continued regardless of the woman challenging him. She could have been more assertive, and he could have been less of a cunt.
Sadly, she's not the first or the last person this will happen to.
If it were me i'd have fought tooth and nail to get the scumbag off me. If NO hadn't worked i'd have taken it to the police.
I may have the wrong thread, but as I recall, once they realised neither had them, she said they could go ahead regardless.
Her OP did not state that. "
She also later went on to say that she carries condoms.
I think in this case it was a matter of the man being a total wankstain. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As long as someone has condoms I don't get what the issue is?
The issue is people expecting others to be responsible for them. It's not as if condoms are expensive or hard to get.
Never rely on others for your physical well being..especially when it comes to something as easy as exchanging bodily fluids..both should have had condoms..
I always have condoms but for someone to turn up to play without any tells me all I need to know about them.
I pulled a girl many years ago...i bought the condoms knowing she was coming over..however I misplaced the bloody things!they fell down the side of the bloody sofa.obviously she didn't believe me so nothing happened ever again..i found the box three days later!lol,its a funny old judgmental world we live in
When you've heard all the excuses under the sun, it's hard not to be!"
crikey I've never met anyone that didn't have any.....I've forgotten them though on more than one occasion....luckily it wasn't a big deal we just used theirs. There's a lot to be said for feeling comfortable with the person you're meeting and getting to know them first. |
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I always take my own as I have a latex allergy. However, I would be seriously pissed off if a guy didn't bring any with him as I do feel it shows a lack of responsibility and respect if he is going to try and bare back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The GUM clinics give out condoms to both men and women. So obviously, they feel the responsibility is on both sides. It's not just pointing the finger at who should take responsibility or not, but both should be prepared if any play is on the cards, as its both their responsibility to protect themselves. Personally though I wouldn't expect the chat to bring his own, rather than supplying them, as I would expect him to supply me with a vag condom.
However, if a male turned up to a meet without any condoms, then my attitude towards him would change, unless he genuinely forgot them and then popped out to get some."
Would bring his own and wouldn't supply vag condoms I mean lol. 'Daily sex strikes again!!  |
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"
In the particular scenario the OP is referring to the man continued regardless of the woman challenging him. She could have been more assertive, and he could have been less of a cunt.
Sadly, she's not the first or the last person this will happen to.
If it were me i'd have fought tooth and nail to get the scumbag off me. If NO hadn't worked i'd have taken it to the police.
I may have the wrong thread, but as I recall, once they realised neither had them, she said they could go ahead regardless.
Her OP did not state that.
She also later went on to say that she carries condoms."
Yes, that's where I got confused!
"I think in this case it was a matters of the man being a total wankstain. "
Or worse. Since Assange, our courts have accepted the concept of 'conditional consent' now. |
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In the 3 plus years I have been on here I have never ever had a guy bring condoms to a meet.
There's even been the occasion where I have asked for them to bring a few more just incase and he still turned up empty handed.
It's sort of worked out for me in a way though. I tend to have the occasional allergic reaction to latex so I try to avoid certain brands and perhaps most importantly I also don't know what's happened if this person has had them hanging around in their pockets if it's not a new box.
If it came to neither of us having any on a meet though, it's just tough luck. I won't risk my health. |
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"In the 3 plus years I have been on here I have never ever had a guy bring condoms to a meet.
There's even been the occasion where I have asked for them to bring a few more just incase and he still turned up empty handed.
It's sort of worked out for me in a way though. I tend to have the occasional allergic reaction to latex so I try to avoid certain brands and perhaps most importantly I also don't know what's happened if this person has had them hanging around in their pockets if it's not a new box.
If it came to neither of us having any on a meet though, it's just tough luck. I won't risk my health. "
Wow...those men clearly have a shedload of respect for people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't deliberately rely on anyone else, but have accidentally forgotten them once. I would have nipped out when I realised, but the other person had some.
Does that sound like a problem, because it didn't seem like it at the time.
Honestly, not good enough in my opinion. You're going to have sex with someone and you forget condoms?? I'm not having a personal pop at you Mr TT, but I just don't get it?"
My point to this is that once, sorry, twice in over 20 years I've not had them for whatever stupid reason, but on both occasions, because neither party assumed it was the sole responsibility, the other person had them.
Both parties should carry them, so should one forget, they still have them.
For those saying they've never forgotten them, have they also never forgotten keys, purse, glasses, etc etc? Because I occasionally forget these things too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In the 3 plus years I have been on here I have never ever had a guy bring condoms to a meet.
There's even been the occasion where I have asked for them to bring a few more just incase and he still turned up empty handed.
It's sort of worked out for me in a way though. I tend to have the occasional allergic reaction to latex so I try to avoid certain brands and perhaps most importantly I also don't know what's happened if this person has had them hanging around in their pockets if it's not a new box.
If it came to neither of us having any on a meet though, it's just tough luck. I won't risk my health. "
Have you ever been tempted to say that you don't have any either so we'll have to call the meet off just to see their reaction?
I understand about the latex issues and not knowing how long the condoms have been rattling around in their pockets, but for them not even to bother?? Lost for words. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That wasn't my reading of the advice.
Most thought they were both in the wrong.
The man should have respected her choice and she should have told him no.
He chanced his arm and she said ok but don't cum up me.
The advice varied from take your own condoms through you should have kicked him out/left to you should not have let his cock near you.
What elese could have been said?
My point is not about the circumstances of that thread, but about the advice that she should've provided the condoms when he didn't. Why should she?? "
I think more she should have provided the condoms as he hadn't or told him no play. I read the original thread. |
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"
Have you ever been tempted to say that you don't have any either so we'll have to call the meet off just to see their reaction?
I understand about the latex issues and not knowing how long the condoms have been rattling around in their pockets, but for them not even to bother?? Lost for words. "
Lol I am not that mean  , especially if they have travelled (Which most often they have).
I am dead serious, I am actually quite suprised that this is just me too. I don't know whether they have just assumed I have some (I'm part of a couple so most often I buy them in bulk).
There has actually been an occasion where I have had to pop out 5 mins before someone arrived too as they've told me they can't get to anywhere.
Maybe it's an age thing? or just pure ignorance ? I'd like to think (atleast) some of the people that I've met have made an honest mistake and genuinely forgot. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is off the back of another thread and I know it's been covered before, but I'm stunned at the advice the OP was given.
They'd agreed on safe sex, but he didn't use a condom and she didn't stop him. The advice given was that she should always carry them. Really!!
If you're going to have sex with a relative stranger and don't take condoms with you, what does that say about you? It tells me you're a tosser who couldn't give a fuck about yourself and the person you're playing with, that you have no sense of responsibility for yourself or others and that you're a total fuckwit. I'm not having a pop at single men here. I've met enough couples who use the excuse 'we don't play with others much and obviously don't use them ourselves…' Bollox! You want to play with other, then get off your arse and get yourselves sorted.
No condoms. No excuses. No play.
If people can't be arsed to be responsible for themselves why does the onus fall on the other person?"
Can't see why your shocked at people saying she should carry them when she didn't but because he didn't he's a tosser
Neither of them had condoms so surely your comment above applies to both?
She didn't take a condom so she couldn't be arsed to take responsibility for herself so why's the onus fall on him |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
Its our own responsibility to look after our health.
Just as much on the female to ensure there is protection as it is to the male.
Its my body, so I will take steps to protect it - and that includes providing condoms - that I know are a decent brand, in date and not tampered with, and also in ensuring they are worn - by putting them on, and checking.
I do not expect anyone else to care about my health - I hope they care about their own enough to take steps to protect it.
With one guy I used to meet regularly it became a standing joke to play condom "snap" by seeing who found them in their play bag quickest! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had guys supply condoms and yet still try it on bareback. Idiots.
A great many men moan about condoms and on that basis should bring those they can get on with. Otherwise it's pot luck to what I have |
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For us it's very simple, if a guy turns up without one he's expecting it to be a possibility he doesn't need one.
While we are vigilant, others may not be and so presume he's got lucky elsewhere in the past.
We understand it's down to us to manage our own risks associated with swinging, and part of that management is avoiding those who prefer not to use condoms.
D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't seen the other thread so not commenting on the specifics of that. But honestly? I've forgotten them before and I've met people who've forgotten. It's never been an issue because one or other of us has got them. I'm not appalled at the irresponsibility and presumptuousness of the one or two who forgot, because it wasn't some deliberate ploy to get me to bareback, they just forgot. Exactly the same as when I've forgotten; I just forgot, nothing more sinister than that!
But, I try to ensure I actually like the person I'm having sex with, so that's perhaps why it doesn't bother me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is off the back of another thread and I know it's been covered before, but I'm stunned at the advice the OP was given.
They'd agreed on safe sex, but he didn't use a condom and she didn't stop him. The advice given was that she should always carry them. Really!!
If you're going to have sex with a relative stranger and don't take condoms with you, what does that say about you? It tells me you're a tosser who couldn't give a fuck about yourself and the person you're playing with, that you have no sense of responsibility for yourself or others and that you're a total fuckwit. I'm not having a pop at single men here. I've met enough couples who use the excuse 'we don't play with others much and obviously don't use them ourselves…' Bollox! You want to play with other, then get off your arse and get yourselves sorted.
No condoms. No excuses. No play.
If people can't be arsed to be responsible for themselves why does the onus fall on the other person?
Can't see why your shocked at people saying she should carry them when she didn't but because he didn't he's a tosser
Neither of them had condoms so surely your comment above applies to both?
She didn't take a condom so she couldn't be arsed to take responsibility for herself so why's the onus fall on him "
Absolutely agree that both people should take condoms. My issue was that she seemed to be getting slated/advised that if he didn't have any, she should provide them.
Forgetting them once, okay, I accept that too. None of us are infallible. But there does seem to be an acceptance that turning up for a play meet without a condom is somehow ok. That is what I don't get. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm confused if she didn't stop him then I would assume she was okay with the scenario. If not tell him no or carry your own condoms to use.
Looking out for yourself is your responsibility no one else's."
Well. .. sort of this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I bring my own, they are the ones I like, I know they are in date, and undamaged. I will wear the other persons brand if they insist. I'm not paranoid they have put pinpricks in them or anything. If required, I'd put two on.
Every little helps.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As long as someone has condoms I don't get what the issue is?
both should have them
I don't think being in possession of condoms is the issue. I think not using them is the issue.
In the particular scenario the OP is referring to the man continued regardless of the woman challenging him. She could have been more assertive, and he could have been less of a cunt.
Sadly, she's not the first or the last person this will happen to.
If it were me i'd have fought tooth and nail to get the scumbag off me. If NO hadn't worked i'd have taken it to the police. "
What was the other thread? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is off the back of another thread and I know it's been covered before, but I'm stunned at the advice the OP was given.
They'd agreed on safe sex, but he didn't use a condom and she didn't stop him. The advice given was that she should always carry them. Really!!
If you're going to have sex with a relative stranger and don't take condoms with you, what does that say about you? It tells me you're a tosser who couldn't give a fuck about yourself and the person you're playing with, that you have no sense of responsibility for yourself or others and that you're a total fuckwit. I'm not having a pop at single men here. I've met enough couples who use the excuse 'we don't play with others much and obviously don't use them ourselves…' Bollox! You want to play with other, then get off your arse and get yourselves sorted.
No condoms. No excuses. No play.
If people can't be arsed to be responsible for themselves why does the onus fall on the other person?"
Blondie normally carries the condoms in her handbag, but we NEVER play separately so not a problem for us.
If we ever played apart (never gonna happen btw) then we would both have them on us.
And YES they are used with others, but we never use when it's just us; After 27 years we don't see the point.  |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"I didn't read it all.... was the answer "bareback is ok if the guy forgets condoms because it's not women's responsibility to carry them"? "
No in that thread the answer was bareback was ok because the woman said ok as long as you don't cum in me.
That is why most said she should have taken some condoms to the meet at his house.
Anyone who mwants to use protection should be prepared to supply the protection no matter what sex. |
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"I always carry condoms just in case the person I'm having sex with doesn't have them for *any* reason - like in the wrong washkit, etc.
If someone doesn't bring them to a meet twice, we'd have to talk about it. If they prefer bareback and are hoping for it, then they're out.
But I always have condoms. Because I like to keep myself safe."
^^^^ this |
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"This is off the back of another thread and I know it's been covered before, but I'm stunned at the advice the OP was given.
They'd agreed on safe sex, but he didn't use a condom and she didn't stop him. The advice given was that she should always carry them. Really!!
If you're going to have sex with a relative stranger and don't take condoms with you, what does that say about you? It tells me you're a tosser who couldn't give a fuck about yourself and the person you're playing with, that you have no sense of responsibility for yourself or others and that you're a total fuckwit. I'm not having a pop at single men here. I've met enough couples who use the excuse 'we don't play with others much and obviously don't use them ourselves…' Bollox! You want to play with other, then get off your arse and get yourselves sorted.
No condoms. No excuses. No play.
If people can't be arsed to be responsible for themselves why does the onus fall on the other person?"
That wasn't the only advice she was given. Yes, he was out of order. Yes, he should have brought condoms and yes, she should have checked beforehand. But there are two people involved, and she has as much responsibility to ensure safe sex as he does.
I always carry them because I care about my health. I usually hand over the condom instead of asking if they've brought any as I get loads from the clinic.
His behaviour was disgusting, but she was not blameless. |
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"As long as someone has condoms I don't get what the issue is?
The issue is people expecting others to be responsible for them. It's not as if condoms are expensive or hard to get."
So by that argument, why did she expect him to be responsible for them? Because he's the guy?
(This is the female, by the way) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As long as someone has condoms I don't get what the issue is?
The issue is people expecting others to be responsible for them. It's not as if condoms are expensive or hard to get.
So by that argument, why did she expect him to be responsible for them? Because he's the guy?
(This is the female, by the way) "
Every one has to take responsibility. |
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"As long as someone has condoms I don't get what the issue is?
The issue is people expecting others to be responsible for them. It's not as if condoms are expensive or hard to get.
So by that argument, why did she expect him to be responsible for them? Because he's the guy?
(This is the female, by the way)
Every one has to take responsibility. "
Exactly. |
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