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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND among people suffering from depression, many felt much better after sucking a Dick. This is because Dick juice contains a protein that the body converts into serotonin which is known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
PMS: Forget the pills -- suck a Dick. The semen regulates blood
glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia: Dick semen can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure: Dick semen is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. So Much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has approved whereas physicians can make official claims for the Dick juice's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by sucking at least ten Dicks at breakfast, break and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the protein packed Dick juice can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation: A huge amount of Dick juice strategically placed high in the lower intestinal tract can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is suck at least six very large Dicks smothered with honey and milk. The Dick juice, with the help of the honey, calms the stomach and builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heart burn: Dick juice has a natural antacid effect in the body. So, if you suffer from heart burn, suck a couple of Dicks for soothing relief.
Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try
rubbing Dick juice from the inside of a condom on the affected area. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
Nerves: Dick juice sucked rapidly from six well-hung, full-of-cum studs help calm the nervous system.
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in
Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by sucking on quite a large number of Dicks every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers: Dick juice can be used as a dietary approach against
intestinal disorders because of its creamy texture and smoothness. Dick juice is the only know protein that can be ingested without distress in over chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control: Research findings in Australia reveal that sucking Dicks is a way that can lower a higher level of anxiety as well as physical temperature spikes. For example, eighty-percent of the research subjects who sucked at least ten Dicks in a twenty-four period maintained a very stable emotional status and cooler temperatures.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Regularly sucking Dicks can help SAD sufferers because Dick juice contains a natural mood enhancer, sperm.
Smoking: Sucking Dicks can also help people trying to give up
smoking. Dick juice aids the body recover from the effects of
nicotine withdrawal.
Stress: Dick juice is vital to help normalize the heartbeat, sends
oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, there by reducing our level of Dick juice. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high amount of Dick juice.
Strokes: According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine sucking Dicks as part of a regular, daily routine can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!
Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that, if you want to kill off a wart, take a freshly used condom full of Dick juice, roll it up toward the reservoir and then apply the sperm still in the condom directly on the wars. Carefully hold the condom in place with a plaster of surgical tape!
Dick juice is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to other fluids, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best methods to obtain satisfying "foods!"So maybe its time to change that well known phrase so that we say, "A Dick a day keeps the doctor away.
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cock is an anagram of cock 
