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Swinging Vs Sexual Orientation

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By *LCC OP   Couple  over a year ago

Cambridge

How similar, or dissimilar do you think swinging (or any other form of ethical non-monogamy) is to sexual orientation?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't think it's similar at all.

In fact, I can't see how it could be considered similar.

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By *LCC OP   Couple  over a year ago

Cambridge


"I don't think it's similar at all.

In fact, I can't see how it could be considered similar."

Well for example imagine a bisexual person in a long term relationship. How can they fully explore their bisexuality and remain monogamous? Or should they be serial monogamists alternating the gender of their partners?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think it's similar at all.

In fact, I can't see how it could be considered similar.

Well for example imagine a bisexual person in a long term relationship. How can they fully explore their bisexuality and remain monogamous? Or should they be serial monogamists alternating the gender of their partners? "

Being bisexual means that you find two genders attractive. It does not mean that you have to sleep with everyone you find attractive.

Being heterosexual means that you find one gender attractive. It does not mean that you have to sleep with everyone you find attractive.

Your logic suggests that only non-heterosexual people should be non-monogamous.

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By *LCC OP   Couple  over a year ago

Cambridge

I've got some incoherent thoughts going around my head at the moment around the topic and was just wondering what others thought.

Something along the lines of attractions and acting upon them.

I am not trying to say that only bi people can be non-monogamous.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've got some incoherent thoughts going around my head at the moment around the topic and was just wondering what others thought.

Something along the lines of attractions and acting upon them.

I am not trying to say that only bi people can be non-monogamous. "

I think that people can be any sexuality and can be any form of monogamous - the two aren't in a causation and effect relationship.

However in some circles non-monogamy is encouraged. The gay community for example are quite liberal towards non-monogamy while the lesbian community generally encourages monogamy.

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By *orthwest_cplCouple  over a year ago

Stretford

I think similar is probably the wrong word but I think I know what you mean.

A heterosexual or gay person can fulfill their sexuality physically within a traditional monogamous relationship. Clearly a bisexual person can't, so swinging or some other form of non-monogamous relationship is essential for bisexual people, unless part of their sexuality is not going to be physical.

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By *LCC OP   Couple  over a year ago

Cambridge


"

I think that people can be any sexuality and can be any form of monogamous - the two aren't in a causation and effect relationship.

However in some circles non-monogamy is encouraged. The gay community for example are quite liberal towards non-monogamy while the lesbian community generally encourages monogamy."

I was listening to a podcast the other day that was discussing the idea that in the gay community as they have gained more rights, such as gay marriage, more gay people are moving towards heteronormative relationship models of 2 people being monogamous, and closing down some of the freedoms they've had in the past, which I found interesting.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think similar is probably the wrong word but I think I know what you mean.

A heterosexual or gay person can fulfill their sexuality physically within a traditional monogamous relationship. Clearly a bisexual person can't, so swinging or some other form of non-monogamous relationship is essential for bisexual people, unless part of their sexuality is not going to be physical."

But again, that assumes that you *must* sleep regularly with all people that you find attractive.

If I am straight and find redheads, brunettes and blondes attractive, should I make sure that I sleep with all three types of person on a regular basis? Of course, not, the idea of preposterous! So why is this idea suggested for bisexual people?

I am pansexual, which means that I find ALL types of sex and gender. If I don't regularly sleep with cismen, ciswomen, transmen, transwomen, genderqueer, and intersex people, am I not fulfilling my sexuality? Because I feel pretty fulfilled even if I don't sleep with all those kinds of people regularly.

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By *epper123Woman  over a year ago

London

Just because you are bi does not mean you have to play same sex. You can be monogamous.

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By *orthwest_cplCouple  over a year ago

Stretford


"But again, that assumes that you *must* sleep regularly with all people that you find attractive.

If I am straight and find redheads, brunettes and blondes attractive, should I make sure that I sleep with all three types of person on a regular basis? Of course, not, the idea of preposterous! So why is this idea suggested for bisexual people?

I am pansexual, which means that I find ALL types of sex and gender. If I don't regularly sleep with cismen, ciswomen, transmen, transwomen, genderqueer, and intersex people, am I not fulfilling my sexuality? Because I feel pretty fulfilled even if I don't sleep with all those kinds of people regularly."

I didn't say you had to sleep with anyone. I did say that a bisexual who wanted to fulfill his or her sexuality physically could not do that in a monogamous relationship. If that person did not want the physical side of a part of their sexuality then clearly monogamy would work.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just because you are bisexual doesn't mean you have to be fucking both genders. I knew I was bi from about 20 yrs old. Had a relationship with a man for 16 years before I started fucking women again. Simple reason I didnt need anyone else , male or female. I was still attracted to both tho. Just like if you are straight you can still be attracted to other men. The sexuality thing is always there for me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't think it's similar at all.

In fact, I can't see how it could be considered similar.

Well for example imagine a bisexual person in a long term relationship. How can they fully explore their bisexuality and remain monogamous? Or should they be serial monogamists alternating the gender of their partners?

Being bisexual means that you find two genders attractive. It does not mean that you have to sleep with everyone you find attractive.

Being heterosexual means that you find one gender attractive. It does not mean that you have to sleep with everyone you find attractive.

Your logic suggests that only non-heterosexual people should be non-monogamous."

This.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think similar is probably the wrong word but I think I know what you mean.

A heterosexual or gay person can fulfill their sexuality physically within a traditional monogamous relationship. Clearly a bisexual person can't, so swinging or some other form of non-monogamous relationship is essential for bisexual people, unless part of their sexuality is not going to be physical.

But again, that assumes that you *must* sleep regularly with all people that you find attractive.

If I am straight and find redheads, brunettes and blondes attractive, should I make sure that I sleep with all three types of person on a regular basis? Of course, not, the idea of preposterous! So why is this idea suggested for bisexual people?

I am pansexual, which means that I find ALL types of sex and gender. If I don't regularly sleep with cismen, ciswomen, transmen, transwomen, genderqueer, and intersex people, am I not fulfilling my sexuality? Because I feel pretty fulfilled even if I don't sleep with all those kinds of people regularly."

And this.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Totally dissimilar, orientation has nothing to do with swinging which surely is about promiscuity. If your straight your straight, if your bi or gay, your bi or gay, all can swing

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