FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Whats the best way to say "no thanks"
Whats the best way to say "no thanks"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I always have a dilemma on how to say, "not for me thanks" or "no, not interested" etc.
I don't do the block and move on, I feel every message or contact or conversation deserves basic pleasantries. There's no need to be rude or offensive.
I would prefer someone to say they weren't interested in me than just block me or ignore me.
Does a "no thanks" open the floodgates to a bit of backlash?
what's your best way of declining to take things further? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It really doesn't matter. Most people would take no reply as not interested. If you send a no thanks out you will get some knob getting arsey. You'll get some thanking you. So just pick a response and get on with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry."
I wish there were more adults on this site.  No reply is just childish. "
Well you obviously have more time on your hands then most. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We got a message earlier today from a guy & it seemed interesting so after checking his profile I responded.
He sent a face photo which I didn't actually connect with the photos he is showing on his profile. Clearly they were too wildly dissimilar people.
Not realising it was the same guy who had written earlier I gave him a pretty blunt "thanks but no thanks" message which he (probably correctly) interpreted as rude. Ooops. |
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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago
hertfordshire |
"It really doesn't matter. Most people would take no reply as not interested. If you send a no thanks out you will get some knob getting arsey. You'll get some thanking you. So just pick a response and get on with it. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry."
I wish there were more adults on this site. No reply is just childish.
Well you obviously have more time on your hands then most. "
I use common sense and filters..... it's not difficult... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry."
I wish there were more adults on this site. No reply is just childish.
Well you obviously have more time on your hands then most. "
Exactly this. Answering gives most guys kind of amammunition to reply back in a pestering manner. Some people even get off on negative attention. I used to reply to every message but due to nasty come backs (even threats) I now just delete and block. Its not my fault some people can't take polite rejection. I knowI would and do just move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry."
I wish there were more adults on this site. No reply is just childish.
Well you obviously have more time on your hands then most.
Exactly this. Answering gives most guys kind of amammunition to reply back in a pestering manner. Some people even get off on negative attention. I used to reply to every message but due to nasty come backs (even threats) I now just delete and block. Its not my fault some people can't take polite rejection. I knowI would and do just move on"
Reply to the first mail in a polite way. Most will say thank you for the reply. If my first reply was no thanks I never reply again. Simple. Why keep chatting to someone you said no to?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry."
I wish there were more adults on this site. No reply is just childish.
Well you obviously have more time on your hands then most.
I use common sense and filters..... it's not difficult... "
No it shouldn't be difficult but lots of people still tell lies on their profile. Like they're single, nearby to your requirements or can accommodate but clearly they don't. It's not easy to spot liars you know |
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"Most think its beneath them to reply
They get 1000's of messages....   "
Surely typing no thanks is quicker than reading the message. All the read my war and peace profile or get blocked and they don't even read the message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry."
I wish there were more adults on this site. No reply is just childish.
Well you obviously have more time on your hands then most.
I use common sense and filters..... it's not difficult... "
You mean you don't get many if any messages? No common sense needed for that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most think its beneath them to reply
They get 1000's of messages....
Surely typing no thanks is quicker than reading the message. All the read my war and peace profile or get blocked and they don't even read the message"
you seem like a lovely guy but after lots of negative guys on here and lack of profile readers, if I see a message from a guy which shows he isn't in my location interests then I just delete his message unanswered. It's also lack of manners to not read a profile before messaging. If a person did so then that would save a lot of time and needless messages. I hope you have a lot of fun on here though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry."
I wish there were more adults on this site. No reply is just childish.
Well you obviously have more time on your hands then most.
I use common sense and filters..... it's not difficult...
You mean you don't get many if any messages? No common sense needed for that. "
Then why don't you reply to your mail? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry."
I wish there were more adults on this site. No reply is just childish.
Well you obviously have more time on your hands then most.
Exactly this. Answering gives most guys kind of amammunition to reply back in a pestering manner. Some people even get off on negative attention. I used to reply to every message but due to nasty come backs (even threats) I now just delete and block. Its not my fault some people can't take polite rejection. I knowI would and do just move on
Reply to the first mail in a polite way. Most will say thank you for the reply. If my first reply was no thanks I never reply again. Simple. Why keep chatting to someone you said no to? "
Why should she? She doesn't have to. When people have bad experience with negative replys I dont blame them. Plus as I have stated not everyone had free time like you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry."
I wish there were more adults on this site. No reply is just childish.
Well you obviously have more time on your hands then most.
Exactly this. Answering gives most guys kind of amammunition to reply back in a pestering manner. Some people even get off on negative attention. I used to reply to every message but due to nasty come backs (even threats) I now just delete and block. Its not my fault some people can't take polite rejection. I knowI would and do just move on
Reply to the first mail in a polite way. Most will say thank you for the reply. If my first reply was no thanks I never reply again. Simple. Why keep chatting to someone you said no to?
Why should she? She doesn't have to. When people have bad experience with negative replys I dont blame them. Plus as I have stated not everyone had free time like you. "
Apologies,I wasn't saying she should do that, it was just a suggeston.
I agree that if people have had nasty replies it would make them not want to reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry."
I wish there were more adults on this site. No reply is just childish.
Well you obviously have more time on your hands then most.
I use common sense and filters..... it's not difficult...
You mean you don't get many if any messages? No common sense needed for that.
Then why don't you reply to your mail?"
Because I have more mail, less time and ive very clearly stated on my profile if I don't reply it means its a thanks but no thanks.
Seem you want a martyrdom for your replys. Well go ahead but really looking down on people who don't do it just shows your true stuck-up-ness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry."
I wish there were more adults on this site. No reply is just childish.
Well you obviously have more time on your hands then most.
I use common sense and filters..... it's not difficult...
You mean you don't get many if any messages? No common sense needed for that.
Then why don't you reply to your mail?
Because I have more mail, less time and ive very clearly stated on my profile if I don't reply it means its a thanks but no thanks.
Seem you want a martyrdom for your replys. Well go ahead but really looking down on people who don't do it just shows your true stuck-up-ness. "
Not looking down on anyone. I am at the bottom of the pile, nothing to see down here. Just saying how I do it. I respect other people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry."
I wish there were more adults on this site. No reply is just childish.
Well you obviously have more time on your hands then most.
I use common sense and filters..... it's not difficult...
You mean you don't get many if any messages? No common sense needed for that.
Then why don't you reply to your mail?
Because I have more mail, less time and ive very clearly stated on my profile if I don't reply it means its a thanks but no thanks.
Seem you want a martyrdom for your replys. Well go ahead but really looking down on people who don't do it just shows your true stuck-up-ness.
Not looking down on anyone. I am at the bottom of the pile, nothing to see down here. Just saying how I do it. I respect other people. "
Sending sarcastic replies isn't showing other people respect.
I've had horrible treatment from guys who can't accept no thanks. On a different site a guy threatened to find me, rape me and throw acid in my face. All because he wouldn't stop pestering me and accept my first no thank you. On this site I've had replies such as "you c*nt" . Simply because I said no to him. Some people just can't accept the word no. Therefore due to the negative guys I just delete unwanted messages. After my bad experiences that works best for me. |
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"I always have a dilemma on how to say, "not for me thanks" or "no, not interested" etc.
I don't do the block and move on, I feel every message or contact or conversation deserves basic pleasantries. There's no need to be rude or offensive.
I would prefer someone to say they weren't interested in me than just block me or ignore me.
Does a "no thanks" open the floodgates to a bit of backlash?
what's your best way of declining to take things further?"
We don't allow single guys to message us.did it for a week,and its just impossible to say no thanks to everyone seeing as I have a job,and a life,and cant be arsed spending days at a time not wanting to appear rude to messages of guys with cock for faces,and saying no thank you.
For a lot of single women blocking and ignoring is a polite way of saying no thank you. ..the single lady experience of fab is not like single guys who may get the odd message for every decade they are on here,the ladies get thousands of wannabes desperados messaging them every week..hundreds a day of people like you. |
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""You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry."
I wish there were more adults on this site. No reply is just childish.
Well you obviously have more time on your hands then most.
Exactly this. Answering gives most guys kind of amammunition to reply back in a pestering manner. Some people even get off on negative attention. I used to reply to every message but due to nasty come backs (even threats) I now just delete and block. Its not my fault some people can't take polite rejection. I knowI would and do just move on"
One girl we know has had rape,and death threats from being polite..why waste your time with it.no one is entitled to a reply from anyone..if people want to ignore then its their business,and no one else's |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well 'sorry but no thanks' has led to absolutely no drama for us.
If you want to ignore single men, the filter blocks do all the hard work for you and you're free to make contact with whoever you like. |
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I simply say thanks for your interest but no thanks and wish them well.
If I then get a whiney or snipey response I feel free to be sarcastic and slap them down - after all I was courteous when I declined.
I also make use of the private notes function and just add no to people I've turned down. Then if they message me again I can remind them and if they keep doing it I can block them or even offer to block them! Some say yes please as they didn't realise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always have a dilemma on how to say, "not for me thanks" or "no, not interested" etc.
I don't do the block and move on, I feel every message or contact or conversation deserves basic pleasantries. There's no need to be rude or offensive.
I would prefer someone to say they weren't interested in me than just block me or ignore me.
Does a "no thanks" open the floodgates to a bit of backlash?
what's your best way of declining to take things further?
We don't allow single guys to message us.did it for a week,and its just impossible to say no thanks to everyone seeing as I have a job,and a life,and cant be arsed spending days at a time not wanting to appear rude to messages of guys with cock for faces,and saying no thank you.
For a lot of single women blocking and ignoring is a polite way of saying no thank you. ..the single lady experience of fab is not like single guys who may get the odd message for every decade they are on here,the ladies get thousands of wannabes desperados messaging them every week..hundreds a day of people like you. "
Exactly. Also why should I show any respect to someone who clearly has not read my profile? There's a blatant lack of respect there that doesn't even warrant my time of day and I just delete and move on. Why some would think this was rude is just bizarre.
As is so often the case on here - some people on this thread included - there's a significant number of people too preoccupied with those that reject them in some way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well 'sorry but no thanks' has led to absolutely no drama for us.
If you want to ignore single men, the filter blocks do all the hard work for you and you're free to make contact with whoever you like."
It really is that simple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most think its beneath them to reply"
I know a member who opened her profile with no main photo, no gallery, no biog and only filled in the mandatory fields.
She also set up her filters.
She then left the account and didn't log in for 4 days.
In that time she received in excess of 600 messages.
Do you suggest that she should have replied to them all with a polite thanks but no thanks message?
600 messages to an almost blank profile? God only knows how many messages a fully completed and descriptive profile gets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thankyou ..Name .. very much for your polite message but affraid your not out type of swinger but we wish you all the best with your search xx ......usually works for us . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry should have added that thats our reply to people who seam to have read our profile , others that havnt just get deleted ! We do try to reply to respectful messages . |
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Depends on my mood and what else is happening but I usually reply thanks but no thanks, often get a message saying thanks for the polite reply but that then opens the door. I use block for people I will not be meeting. Of course, now admin have made my single profile a couple one, I dont get so many messages from single guys .... or fems.  |
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By *ton TwinkleWoman
over a year ago
Slough Heathrow Windsor ish! |
I reply to all... even though my profile says very clearly im not here to messsage.
Im always very straight up and polite, im not here to waste others time or my own.
Its rare anyone gives any trouble when ive said "no thanks"... occassionally I may get a "why not?" and again I will always reply politely why im not interested..... often that will be as simple as their profile put me off with the Sydney unI legal hoax or pics of others... but I will always say way
cc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
""You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry."
I wish there were more adults on this site. No reply is just childish.
Well you obviously have more time on your hands then most.
Exactly this. Answering gives most guys kind of amammunition to reply back in a pestering manner. Some people even get off on negative attention. I used to reply to every message but due to nasty come backs (even threats) I now just delete and block. Its not my fault some people can't take polite rejection. I knowI would and do just move on
One girl we know has had rape,and death threats from being polite..why waste your time with it.no one is entitled to a reply from anyone..if people want to ignore then its their business,and no one else's"
sounds like the same guy who messaged me as I too had that kind of threat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most think its beneath them to reply
I know a member who opened her profile with no main photo, no gallery, no biog and only filled in the mandatory fields.
She also set up her filters.
She then left the account and didn't log in for 4 days.
In that time she received in excess of 600 messages.
Do you suggest that she should have replied to them all with a polite thanks but no thanks message?
600 messages to an almost blank profile? God only knows how many messages a fully completed and descriptive profile gets."
"She" could put up some top tips on how to attract interest for us mere mortals that manage just a few messages a week.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Does a "no thanks" open the floodgates to a bit of backlash?
"
Yeah Thats what we've found.
We've had some lovely messages and do feel guilty not replying but after replying with a courteous no thank you message explaining why, ( not out particular type) to one particular arsewipe we got a tirade of paranoid abuse back! We've also had guys and couples replying with insullts and abuse after saying thanks but no thanks.
The Gobshites do spoil it for everyone and people have to accept not getting a reply means nothing personal.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Imagine if folks completely ignored u in the real world pub or club say. Start chatting to them and they just stare straight ahead saying nothing. Its easier to be rude online"
lol you need to get out more. People in pubs and clubs on a night out are worse. I favour Internet dating over meeting in a bar or club. I hate the thought of a d*unken, beer dribbling or slurred speech acting guy approaching me. I've seen guys and girls verbally slap another person down after they approached them in a bar/club. My own brother tried talking to a girl in a bar and she swiftly replied "f*ck off". It doesn't matter how you choose to find someone, rude people are everywhere
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"Imagine if folks completely ignored u in the real world pub or club say. Start chatting to them and they just stare straight ahead saying nothing. Its easier to be rude online"
You also wont get hundreds of people coming up to you endlessly either...asking the same boring shit over and over...but then again moat of the guys on here wouldn't have the nuttage to approach even a single woman throughout the entire night |
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By *ton TwinkleWoman
over a year ago
Slough Heathrow Windsor ish! |
"Most think its beneath them to reply
I know a member who opened her profile with no main photo, no gallery, no biog and only filled in the mandatory fields.
She also set up her filters.
She then left the account and didn't log in for 4 days.
In that time she received in excess of 600 messages.
Do you suggest that she should have replied to them all with a polite thanks but no thanks message?
600 messages to an almost blank profile? God only knows how many messages a fully completed and descriptive profile gets."
I can tell you exactly how many messages my fully complete, descriptive and verified profile gets.... and the numbers have not changed too much since opening it and my previous profile and my couples profile... and yes.... I still reply to all and have no need to use filters or block anyone beside the very rare weirdo.
I get around 10 messages across the course of the day. Many of those will be from existing friends, ongoing conversations.
I guess being nice isn't popular here?!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'Thanks but not for me. Have fun' That's my reply to ones I'm not interested in who I think have read my profile. I do use filters but sometimes take them off when I have a meet request up. It clearly states on my profile the messages I won't reply to - cock pic avatars, one liners etc. It also states if you are too sensitive to be bothered by not gettibg a reply don't message me as we will not get on.
I'm not here to stoke anyone's ego, including my own. If that offends people or I appear up my own arse then I won't lose any sleep over it. My profile. My choice whether I reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Imagine if folks completely ignored u in the real world pub or club say. Start chatting to them and they just stare straight ahead saying nothing. Its easier to be rude online lol you need to get out more. People in pubs and clubs on a night out are worse. I favour Internet dating over meeting in a bar or club. I hate the thought of a d*unken, beer dribbling or slurred speech acting guy approaching me. I've seen guys and girls verbally slap another person down after they approached them in a bar/club. My own brother tried talking to a girl in a bar and she swiftly replied "f*ck off". It doesn't matter how you choose to find someone, rude people are everywhere"
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"Imagine if folks completely ignored u in the real world pub or club say. Start chatting to them and they just stare straight ahead saying nothing. Its easier to be rude online lol you need to get out more. People in pubs and clubs on a night out are worse. I favour Internet dating over meeting in a bar or club. I hate the thought of a d*unken, beer dribbling or slurred speech acting guy approaching me. I've seen guys and girls verbally slap another person down after they approached them in a bar/club. My own brother tried talking to a girl in a bar and she swiftly replied "f*ck off". It doesn't matter how you choose to find someone, rude people are everywhere
"
I respond the same way I would in a pub or club. But remember, not all the opening comments are hi has are you. If they kick off with something polite I'm polite, if it's rude or obscene then I'm liable to be sarcastic or harsh or just ignore them.
As for the ones who send a one word or even one letter message then they get the same effort in return. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""You look lovely but not what I'm looking for sorry."
I wish there were more adults on this site. No reply is just childish. "
I agree. I would rather have a reply explaining that they aren't interested than be ignored. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Imagine if folks completely ignored u in the real world pub or club say. Start chatting to them and they just stare straight ahead saying nothing. Its easier to be rude online"
It easier to be rude online but that works both ways
I've never had a guy in real life call me a fat cunt etc because I've not wanted to go out with him, had many on here
Some people can't take a polite no thanks without getting insultive
But like you said its easier to be rude online |
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Would people rather get a "no thanks" then a block or just receive no reply?
If I'm not interested I don't reply. If I did then in a weeks time I chose to filter messages from single men, they could still get through my filters so I would end up having to block them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what's your best way of declining to take things further?
We don't allow single guys to message us.did it for a week,and its just impossible to say no thanks to everyone seeing as I have a job,and a life,and cant be arsed spending days at a time not wanting to appear rude to messages of guys with cock for faces,and saying no thank you.
For a lot of single women blocking and ignoring is a polite way of saying no thank you. ..the single lady experience of fab is not like single guys who may get the odd message for every decade they are on here,the ladies get thousands of wannabes desperados messaging them every week..hundreds a day of people like you. "
If anyone does get arsey with me about not replying or deleting their message then i DO tell them them why i'm not interested. I think just deleting or blocking is more polite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would people rather get a "no thanks" then a block or just receive no reply?
If I'm not interested I don't reply. If I did then in a weeks time I chose to filter messages from single men, they could still get through my filters so I would end up having to block them!"
Validation that they exist. That someone noticed them, even if they noticed how boring, ugly or crap they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would people rather get a "no thanks" then a block or just receive no reply?
If I'm not interested I don't reply. If I did then in a weeks time I chose to filter messages from single men, they could still get through my filters so I would end up having to block them!"
I wouldn't mind my first message being ignored but if we had exchanged a few then I got I ignored I'd find them ignorant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always reply to polite messages and face pics with a no thanks and have only ever had one horrible reply.
Must say though we never have all these hundreds of messages that that single females and alot of couples say they get. Only takes about 2 minutes out of our day!! |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"I always have a dilemma on how to say, "not for me thanks" or "no, not interested" etc.
I don't do the block and move on, I feel every message or contact or conversation deserves basic pleasantries. There's no need to be rude or offensive.
I would prefer someone to say they weren't interested in me than just block me or ignore me.
Does a "no thanks" open the floodgates to a bit of backlash?
what's your best way of declining to take things further?"
"Damn, you're ugly". Should work |
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