FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Check-ups
Check-ups
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  We need more responsible people like yourself | |||
"I think your question was very reasonable and if they have a problem.. let them move on! I have asked the same question to women I have met in the past... Well done and keep asking away We need more responsible people like yourself "Well said We see it as a massive positive if someone asks the question. | |||
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"They could have said yes we been tested,was tested 4 wks ago and everything fine,but how would you know they were telling the truth? Would you want to see proof that they were clean? Just for the record too we are tested regulary x" When I get tested I always ask for a text message to be sent to my mobile phone and then I keep that text which is dated and also time stamped. If anyone ask can show them when last checked up... However this does still does not mean someone is 100% clean as they could have had unprotected sex since then! Life is like 'Russian Roulette'.. scarey | |||
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"Anyone can send themselves a text though "Very True | |||
"OOOOOH Bl... H.... !!!! I always ask the question; "When did you last have a check-up?" of everyone I speak to with a _iew to meet. This is the third guy in as many days who has responded with the utmost huff and bluster and told me off for even SUGGESTing that they might be in need of such a service. And in all three cases the guys said that they had NEVER had a check-up. They were all three in their mid and late twenties and they are on a SWINGERS site !! Is it THAT unreasonable for me to ask the question, for my own peace of mind's sake ?? The most interesting thing that came out of all three conversations were that they " had not been near any swingers yet" or they" don't have sex with girls found in the gutters or " they have only ever been in long term relationships" . . . I think a serious attitude shift is needed, both regarding what is safe and sensible and also regarding the way some people think of swingers. I am offended on behalf of most of us !! Phew ! Rant over. Sorry folks, I just had to get this off my chest. Jane x" the main issue is... regardless if someone has been tested within the last month how do you know if they havent had sex with some one last night who was not clean? Condoms are the only way to be safe. | |||
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"Personally, it's not a question I ask, because I ALWAYS assume people don't tell the truth, so all I can do is take care of myself!! I visit the clinic about three times a year, there's no need for me to go more frequently as I don't go to clubs, socials, meets every other day, go dogging, indulge in gang bangs etc. I play with a small group of men I've known for years, and penetrative sex doesn't always take place. I would never put my health and well being in the hands of another person, so asking and them telling me "oh, last week" wouldn't put my mind at rest at all, practising safe sex and looking after myself does!! We all know the risk involved in this lifestyle - if I was goin going to be paranoid about it to that extent - I'd just spend the evening with my magic wand! "My main reason for asking the question is to gauge that person's reaction, and to strike up a conversation about sexual health and their attitude towards it. I don't feel that it is paranoid. If I didn't ask, I would not know, and I do ask for proof too. I, too, look after myself, but as we all know, it is still possible to catch STI's from oral either way if it is done without condoms, as seems to be the accepted way with most of the swingers I have read/spoken to. That is why I get a check-up between new partners as far as practicable. I worry a little about the "I only take care of myself" attitude, as I believe that swingers, indeed all sexually active adults, should look out for their health to safeguard everyone. I rest my case. Jane x | |||
"Personally, it's not a question I ask, because I ALWAYS assume people don't tell the truth, so all I can do is take care of myself!! I visit the clinic about three times a year, there's no need for me to go more frequently as I don't go to clubs, socials, meets every other day, go dogging, indulge in gang bangs etc. I play with a small group of men I've known for years, and penetrative sex doesn't always take place. I would never put my health and well being in the hands of another person, so asking and them telling me "oh, last week" wouldn't put my mind at rest at all, practising safe sex and looking after myself does!! We all know the risk involved in this lifestyle - if I was goin going to be paranoid about it to that extent - I'd just spend the evening with my magic wand! "You obviously are paranoid about it because you dont beleive a word someone tells you if they are checked lol YOu have contradicted yourself here a bit. llol | |||
"Personally, it's not a question I ask, because I ALWAYS assume people don't tell the truth, so all I can do is take care of myself!! I visit the clinic about three times a year, there's no need for me to go more frequently as I don't go to clubs, socials, meets every other day, go dogging, indulge in gang bangs etc. I play with a small group of men I've known for years, and penetrative sex doesn't always take place. I would never put my health and well being in the hands of another person, so asking and them telling me "oh, last week" wouldn't put my mind at rest at all, practising safe sex and looking after myself does!! We all know the risk involved in this lifestyle - if I was goin going to be paranoid about it to that extent - I'd just spend the evening with my magic wand!
My main reason for asking the question is to gauge that person's reaction, and to strike up a conversation about sexual health and their attitude towards it. I don't feel that it is paranoid. If I didn't ask, I would not know, and I do ask for proof too.
I, too, look after myself, but as we all know, it is still possible to catch STI's from oral either way if it is done without condoms, as seems to be the accepted way with most of the swingers I have read/spoken to. That is why I get a check-up between new partners as far as practicable.
I worry a little about the "I only take care of myself" attitude, as I believe that swingers, indeed all sexually active adults, should look out for their health to safeguard everyone.
I rest my case.
Jane x "My post is very clear, it's about how I deal with matters, not about how others conduct their business. I think it's naive to assume playmates will tell you the truth, and that holding in depth conversations about sexual health some how makes the play safer. How many thread do we read about married men claiming to be single, bi men pretending to be straight - people lie to get what they want. My _iew is all I can control is myself. I don't attend clubs etc and I don't for one single moment believe all those that attend ask the people they're about to shag when they last went to a GUM clinic...they go prepared to protect themselves and have fun otherwise as I said we'd all stay home with our bits of plastic!! | |||
"Personally, it's not a question I ask, because I ALWAYS assume people don't tell the truth, so all I can do is take care of myself!! I visit the clinic about three times a year, there's no need for me to go more frequently as I don't go to clubs, socials, meets every other day, go dogging, indulge in gang bangs etc. I play with a small group of men I've known for years, and penetrative sex doesn't always take place. I would never put my health and well being in the hands of another person, so asking and them telling me "oh, last week" wouldn't put my mind at rest at all, practising safe sex and looking after myself does!! We all know the risk involved in this lifestyle - if I was goin going to be paranoid about it to that extent - I'd just spend the evening with my magic wand!
You obviously are paranoid about it because you dont beleive a word someone tells you if they are checked lol
YOu have contradicted yourself here a bit. llol"I don't see how you come to that conclusion - and I wont be wasting time worrying about it either. As I've said, I can't control what others do or say - you'll find me cynical which is rather different from contradictory - but hey ho! | |||
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you really can only be comfortable with your sexual health... risks in everything you do. | |||
" you really can only be comfortable with your sexual health... " THAT'S the point I'm making! | |||
" you really can only be comfortable with your sexual health... THAT'S the point I'm making! "I know... I is agreeing  | |||
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" you really can only be comfortable with your sexual health... THAT'S the point I'm making!
I know... I is agreeing "I know... highlighting it for those who misinterpreted my point! | |||
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"plus i never see the point in asking because as its been pointed out people do lie and even if they honest they could have easily picked something up since they was last tested and come back clear" As someone once told me "you're only ever clear upto your last check up" | |||
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" If I find out that a lady has played bare back I simply don’t play with the lady " That sounds all well and good, but as I've said, people lie and there is no way on God's green earth will you know for sure if someone has played bareback or not!  | |||
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"Personally, it's not a question I ask, because I ALWAYS assume people don't tell the truth, so all I can do is take care of myself!!" . I totally agree, asking someone when they were last tested is only useful if they give a negative response-you know then not to play with them. Someone saying they're tested regularly is meaningless and potentially dangerous if you relax your sexual health regime because of it. The best we can do is to either abstain or to take all the precautions we're comfortable with to protect ourselves. | |||
"I met a guy on here a few times - always insisted on safe sex so no problem there. I saw on the friends update that he'd uploaded some new pics so being a nosey parker I had a look only to find to my complete horror that they were pics of him going bareback. I asked him about it and his reply was that he never goes bareback with anyone from Fab but the girl in his pics was someone from his local pub so that's different!!!!" lol and who was taking the pics? all women from your local pub go home with you, have sex while someone takes pics of you then lets you upload them to a sex site dont they?
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"I met a guy on here a few times - always insisted on safe sex so no problem there. I saw on the friends update that he'd uploaded some new pics so being a nosey parker I had a look only to find to my complete horror that they were pics of him going bareback. I asked him about it and his reply was that he never goes bareback with anyone from Fab but the girl in his pics was someone from his local pub so that's different!!!! lol and who was taking the pics? all women from your local pub go home with you, have sex while someone takes pics of you then lets you upload them to a sex site dont they?
"Lol | |||
