FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is it just

Is it just

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Me?.

Or does anyone else find that the forums are an unfriendly place. To me there is most definitely a clique. They behave like a pack and have each others back.

If you're not in this clique you are simply ignored, rubbished or assassinated.

Really is little more than playground bullying in my opinion.

For such a small minority of society.

Should we not be more together?!

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple over a year ago

near cardiff

Definitely noticed this....plenty of sycophantic behaviour,but that's the same on loads of forums..

Saying that though the Fab forums are highly amusing,and there are some funny fuckers on here..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well said tbh, there is definitely a clique between some that class themselves as the regs on here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It goes in cycles, ignore it , join in when you want, stick to the fun threads and don't take everything seriously

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are a lot of people who know each other very well. This could be construed as cliquey when looking from the outside.

I tend not to worry about it, it happens on any Internet forum and I'm not here to conform or try to get in a gang.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree with all of the above

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are groups who have been chatting for a long time on and off the forums, who have met in real life etc who connect, so yeah I guess friend groups exist....as in all walks of life I suppose...

I don't think it's 'unfriendly' but at times folk do need a slightly thicker skin as certain subjects do evoke an emotive response from some...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It goes in cycles, ignore it , join in when you want, stick to the fun threads and don't take everything seriously"

This

I'm only here for the entertainment side so don't take much notice of forum politics.

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By *issmorganWoman over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"It goes in cycles, ignore it , join in when you want, stick to the fun threads and don't take everything seriously

This

I'm only here for the entertainment side so don't take much notice of forum politics. "

I agree and choose the threads i want to post in and ignore others.

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By *dwalu2Couple over a year ago

Bristol

Fab is one of the gentler forums we've come across, really!

Haven't noticed the cliquey stuff so much, but most forums develop cliques, it's natural for people who agree and like each other to band together. If they are attacking people or it makes others feel unwelcome though, then moderators should be on the lookout for this as it's unhealthy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As far as forums go this is pretty terrible. Would be so much better if they had an alert function when someone replied to your posts.

That way you can keep on top of things whereas now you've got to trawl through everything...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yep but that's fab for you! Much like many of the groups of people tbh!

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By *orethancurvesWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"Me?.

Or does anyone else find that the forums are an unfriendly place. To me there is most definitely a clique. They behave like a pack and have each others back.

If you're not in this clique you are simply ignored, rubbished or assassinated.

Really is little more than playground bullying in my opinion.

For such a small minority of society.

Should we not be more together?!"

Oh there defo is a clique on the forums.

It put me off joining in for a while but now i just do regaurdless.

I know people will say that it seems that way cause alot have met at socials and stuff but that doesnt make it ok, were all adults here.... i was reading but not contributing to the forums for a good few months and saw some very wicked things go on.

And the amount of times a newbie would post a question and the flood of replies would be "here we go again". Just cause people had seen the question a few times before cause theyve been here for years doesnt mean no one else can ever ask the question again. If u dont want to contribute.....dont open the thread. If i have a question im not gonna want to read thru god know how many pages to see if its already been posted 2 yrs ago.

Sorry.....rant over. But in answer to post..... yes i agree with u.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The forums can be a great filter. They're a good way of spotting the needy and insecure, the two pump and a squirt men and the people who know how to play the game and have a good time.

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By *dwalu2Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"As far as forums go this is pretty terrible. "

Yes, the forum software here is awful. It's like something from 1995. Don't expect it to change any time soon, though!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Me?.

Or does anyone else find that the forums are an unfriendly place. To me there is most definitely a clique. They behave like a pack and have each others back.

If you're not in this clique you are simply ignored, rubbished or assassinated.

Really is little more than playground bullying in my opinion.

For such a small minority of society.

Should we not be more together?!

Oh there defo is a clique on the forums.

It put me off joining in for a while but now i just do regaurdless.

Sorry.....rant over. But in answer to post..... yes i agree with u. "

I suffered at the hands of several members of the clique just last week. I did feel ignored and thought it both mean and unnecessary!!

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"The forums can be a great filter. They're a good way of spotting the needy and insecure, the two pump and a squirt men and the people who know how to play the game and have a good time. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It goes in cycles, ignore it , join in when you want, stick to the fun threads and don't take everything seriously"

You get cliques in work clubs and even between family members, I try not to worry about it and talk to the people who want to talk to me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So we've met before have we?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's the Teletext equivalent of forums

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

there is a clique without doubt. i am not part of it and have no interest in it.

also you see a lot of people who say things just to appeal to others.

forums on other sites are far more real world.for one you are allowed an opinion with out getting banned and the people on there havent an underlying want to fuck everyone on there,so they speak the truth.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its fair enough to say only talk to people who want to talk to you, but when you're new here and just wanting to feel welcome and chat then having hostile forums seems nonsensical.

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By *t3_jalapenoMan over a year ago

darlo

I am the lone ranger...dont think i belong to a clique

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"there is a clique without doubt. i am not part of it and have no interest in it.

also you see a lot of people who say things just to appeal to others.

I'm not a minion. Nor will I ever be. I don't personally feel the need to conform to satisfy my own insecurities. Nor do I wish for anyone to massage my ego.

If to be in the clique you need to make others feel inferior. Then I hope never to be part of it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its fair enough to say only talk to people who want to talk to you, but when you're new here and just wanting to feel welcome and chat then having hostile forums seems nonsensical. "

It took me months before people started replying to some of my posts or threads I started and I can still go days without people chatting to me on here,

Like people have said you just have to pick your threads you post in and I usually ignore hostile threads as I don't like arguing with people,

People being nasty and trolling goes hand in hand with social sites and it will never change

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By *anDare70Man over a year ago

kirkby

I don't think it is a clique just a crowd. If something prompts you to post then put it out there and then let it go.

Sometimes you'll get a reply, sometimes you won't. I think often a reply or post gets lost in the timeline as other messages are posted.

It can be irritating when a thread fragments after a witty or negative comment and is then not about the subject. People are more likely to reply to who they know.

There can also be a crowd mentality where opinion quickly shifts to a loud voice, particularly men aligning with women. Can be uncomfortable to suddenly feel the board against you and may not even be based on the intent of a message.

I tend to leave threads I disagree with and treat others as interactive gossip pages.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It goes in cycles, ignore it , join in when you want, stick to the fun threads and don't take everything seriously

This

I'm only here for the entertainment side so don't take much notice of forum politics.

I agree and choose the threads i want to post in and ignore others."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No its a friendly place and very fun with all the various subjects, its about getting yourself into the discussions to get get known and post stuff

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By *L RogueMan over a year ago

London

"It goes in cycles, ignore it , join in when you want, stick to the fun threads and don't take everything seriously

This

I'm only here for the entertainment side so don't take much notice of forum politics.

I agree and choose the threads i want to post in and ignore others."

This. Besides, face to face, I doubt much of the comments or conduct of some would ever happen.

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By *icky-discoMan over a year ago

oxford

"Me?.

Or does anyone else find that the forums are an unfriendly place. To me there is most definitely a clique. They behave like a pack and have each others back.

If you're not in this clique you are simply ignored, rubbished or assassinated.

Really is little more than playground bullying in my opinion.

For such a small minority of society.

Should we not be more together?!"

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

I think it would be better if more people contributed to the forums, as we tend to see the same people again and again.

More people contributing different view points, topics and threads would only benefit the forum.

So if you are a long time reader, but never posted anything, jump on in and start a thread

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think it would be better if more people contributed to the forums, as we tend to see the same people again and again.

More people contributing different view points, topics and threads would only benefit the forum.

So if you are a long time reader, but never posted anything, jump on in and start a thread

As time goes by you get to know people a bit better, That's one of the reasons I come on the forums, It a lot easier then sending pm's out to people you might want to meet one day

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are regular posters who know each other, they'll respond accordingly as you would expect. However, just post away, if it's picked up on....fine, if it's not...don't fret about it. Some people are fierce in their responses, but again, don't worry about it. They don't know where you park your car, so you should be ok

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By *ickawitchCouple over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

"It goes in cycles, ignore it , join in when you want, stick to the fun threads and don't take everything seriously

This

I agree and choose the threads i want to post in and ignore others."

I try to avoid the ones I know are going to get really heated and bad tempered and hang around on the fluffy, funny ones - if they start to go a bit off I move on to another one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Me?.

Or does anyone else find that the forums are an unfriendly place. To me there is most definitely a clique. They behave like a pack and have each others back.

If you're not in this clique you are simply ignored, rubbished or assassinated.

Really is little more than playground bullying in my opinion.

For such a small minority of society.

Should we not be more together?!"

Every forum I have ever posted on, be it swinging, sport, music has had allegations of cliques. It is thee nature of the beast and will never change.

And I don't think that we should all be 'more together' - it's an absurd suggestion to be honest. Ignoring the fact that if everyone agreed on everything it would be incredibly dull people are on here from all manner of backgrounds, the site represents an incredibly diverse section of society and the views expressedn the forum reflects that diversity.

I guess that makes me unfriendly for not agreeing?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fab is just a bit of fun.

My real life is where my friends are, I don't need to or want to be in a clique on here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have my own clique that only includes me.

But yeah some people on here seem to not be very good at getting their point across or post knee jerk reactions, i do the same sometimes. I suppose some things hit a nerve with them and maybe brings up some of their own insecurities.

I believe you cannot control anyone but yourself, you can't change the world to revolve around you and everyone has to fit your agenda for you to feel secure. But there's no need for some of the comments on here and they show that some have very little knowledge of anything other than themselves.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Me?.

Or does anyone else find that the forums are an unfriendly place. To me there is most definitely a clique. They behave like a pack and have each others back.

If you're not in this clique you are simply ignored, rubbished or assassinated.

Really is little more than playground bullying in my opinion.

For such a small minority of society.

Should we not be more together?!"

The fab forums have some great people on but also some right obnoxious twats, you see certain people time and time again just out for the attack and always there putting people down

The patheticness can be amusing though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is very unfriendly and nasty at times. And there are a fair few people who just jump on anything they can. I love the challenge of taking them on. In my opinion it's what makes forums entertaining. I've had two occasions where people have taken to personal attacks against me. And my personal favourite is when people think they can put words in my mouth. I just crack my knuckles and think game on lol.

Overall though it's more positive than negative I feel.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The squirting threads are the best

See how bitchy some women can be towards other women when squirting is being talked about

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By *inkyminky69Man over a year ago

Glasgow-ish

"Me?.

Or does anyone else find that the forums are an unfriendly place. To me there is most definitely a clique. They behave like a pack and have each others back.

If you're not in this clique you are simply ignored, rubbished or assassinated.

Really is little more than playground bullying in my opinion.

For such a small minority of society.

Should we not be more together?!"

Never really noticed it but, now that you mention it, yes.

I though the lack of replies to my posts was just me posting shite posts! Lol

Make your own clique haha!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It is very unfriendly and nasty at times. And there are a fair few people who just jump on anything they can. I love the challenge of taking them on. In my opinion it's what makes forums entertaining. I've had two occasions where people have taken to personal attacks against me. And my personal favourite is when people think they can put words in my mouth. I just crack my knuckles and think game on lol.

Overall though it's more positive than negative I feel.

So glad i just read this, i almost replied to someone exactly like this then what you said popped into my head and i thought i'm not giving him the satisfaction of a reply.

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By *ilberryMan over a year ago

Scarborough

Oh my god? Being criticized for using the forums? I feel its a place to have fun,rant and possibly ask serious questions? I hope its nothing more or nothing less-lead me to the ducking stool!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Overall though it's more positive than negative I feel.

So glad i just read this, i almost replied to someone exactly like this then what you said popped into my head and i thought i'm not giving him the satisfaction of a reply."

Yeah sometimes it isn't worth it. You have to try and gauge the person and whether it's worth it. I lose interest when I see some people are just too narrow minded. And I have just thought you know what that just makes you look a dick. You don't need me to prove the point more haha.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Threads on cheating & bareback meets definitely bring out the worse in some people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Threads on cheating & bareback meets definitely bring out the worse in some people."

Yeah I avoid both. I think both subjects are too polarised and it definitely gets nasty.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I read them but never post on them!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Overall though it's more positive than negative I feel.

So glad i just read this, i almost replied to someone exactly like this then what you said popped into my head and i thought i'm not giving him the satisfaction of a reply.

Agreed.

I have a pretty poor memory tbh so if i recognised him for what he's like then i'm sure others do as well. So yeah, no need to reply.

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By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

One persons clique is another's group of like minded individuals.

I doubt there's really a conspiracy going on with secret meetings, coded messages and some kind of warped induction ceremony where the first rule of clique club is..............and so on.

Just post what you want, when you want - and most importantly because you want (within the rules as the naughty step gets cold!) rather than to kiss ass, gain approval or provoke a reaction - and your time in the forums will generally be a happy one.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I read them but never post on them!!"

O absolutely!!!

Very entertaining lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One persons clique is another's group of like minded individuals.

I doubt there's really a conspiracy going on with secret meetings, coded messages and some kind of warped induction ceremony where the first rule of clique club is..............and so on.

Pretty spot on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I tend to try and avoid emotive threads but as im one of the needy and insecure ones I can't help but post n provok a reaction

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By *ola.Woman over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

I don't think there is a clique. There are people that kiss so many ass that shit starts coming out of their mouth.

I just post on what I want, not here for anyone elses amusement, only my own. I get that from reading the threads wondering when so and so will pop up and add their usual slant on everything.

I receive and send pms from threads not everything is played out on the forum.

I just put my big girl knickers on and join in. Well if I actually wore them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It goes in cycles, ignore it , join in when you want, stick to the fun threads and don't take everything seriously

This

I'm only here for the entertainment side so don't take much notice of forum politics. "

Same here , and we take no notice at all of the forum politics .

Just remember that less that 1% of fab members ever come on the forums .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just throw my tuppence worth in if it appeals to me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"there is a clique without doubt. i am not part of it and have no interest in it.

also you see a lot of people who say things just to appeal to others.

I'm not a minion. Nor will I ever be. I don't personally feel the need to conform to satisfy my own insecurities. Nor do I wish for anyone to massage my ego.

If to be in the clique you need to make others feel inferior. Then I hope never to be part of it.

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By *epper123Woman over a year ago

London

"I think it would be better if more people contributed to the forums, as we tend to see the same people again and again.

More people contributing different view points, topics and threads would only benefit the forum.

So if you are a long time reader, but never posted anything, jump on in and start a thread

I started posting on threads about a week or so ago, more regularly, but I totally agree, some people are rude, dismissive and disrespectful. People like that usually have a reason to put other people down, so I just see them for what they are. It can be like bullying though, as I am sure some people find it life-affirming to put others down. This morning I decided to post a new thread, okay well its a non controversial topic, but I did breathe a sigh of relief when. No one posted, oh, here we go again! After all, I might find things these people do everyday boring and mundane, but I dont feel the need to broadcast it.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"It goes in cycles, ignore it , join in when you want, stick to the fun threads and don't take everything seriously"

This

In the 4 years I've been reading the forums seen many 'groups' and people come and go.

I just do my own thing and use them for entertainment.

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan over a year ago

London

Yes there is a clique and i'm still trying to work out how i join or gain membership

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Shame that I agree as much as i do, I came into here not looking to meet, but to have open friendly conversation with like minded tolerant people,

Which as swingers you would think it would be, but as you say its very short sighted, 'make you gay' I read earlier, on here, 'make you gay' I mean your supposed to be swingers, where's the tolerance and understanding gone,

Its not everyone obviously but each person will have their own interpretation of what swinging is to them, seems some on here will attack anyone who differs from their own views,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just say what I feel and if that isn't acceptable to some then I couldn't care less!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

the forums can be a lot of things at times, when they start to annoy me I back off and have a break.

is clique the right word, I'm not so sure.

there are a lot of different groups of people that interact together on a daily basis so if it is a clique there's more than just the one.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'm just me, I'm in no clique, I step away when they annoy me and only post if something interests me or I can contribute something.

I have some friends on here I have met through the forums, but we are not in regular contact or anything, plus I go to socials (Not so many as late) so the forum socials are a great way of meeting people.

I've met a fair few forum users but I am not in any clique or know of any that are though I do know some are more friends due to demographics.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/05/15 18:41:55]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Does this clique of ppl meet up for group sex.....if so where do I sign

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"...

Sorry.....rant over. But in answer to post..... yes i agree with u. "

I agree that a lot of people can be bloody rude to new people. Everyone was new at some point.

I don't think there's a clique as such though. Lots of people know each other from posting on here or from meeting at socials. Yes some are a bit up each other's arses like a human caterpillar but just ignore them. Can't be arsed with sour grapes, it's just the internet who cares.

There have been some fantastic threads where people have been caring a lovely, a real community.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No its a friendly place and very fun with all the various subjects, its about getting yourself into the discussions to get get known and post stuff

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I'm just me, I'm in no clique, I step away when they annoy me and only post if something interests me or I can contribute something.

I've met a fair few forum users but I am not in any clique or know of any that are though I do know some are more friends due to demographics. "

And I will say I probably have been guilty of answering a thread with God here we go again, mainly because they are BBW versus Slim (or should that really be skinny) which always end up slagging off one or the other or the profile critique types as if some people really can't think for themselves and apply common sense, but I am trying to back away, but at the end of the day we are just human and have normal flaws

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

you`ll find cliques on all forums. dont let it stop you having your say

i dont

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Me?.

Or does anyone else find that the forums are an unfriendly place. To me there is most definitely a clique. They behave like a pack and have each others back.

If you're not in this clique you are simply ignored, rubbished or assassinated.

Really is little more than playground bullying in my opinion.

For such a small minority of society.

Should we not be more together?!

Oh there defo is a clique on the forums.

It put me off joining in for a while but now i just do regaurdless.

Sorry.....rant over. But in answer to post..... yes i agree with u. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

fab is a bit like the john cleese/two ronnies sketch about class, that very much applies to the forum as well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I believe anybody who takes forums too seriously can feel left out and ignored.

I'm not on here to be part of any clique, I've never been a team player and speak my own mind.

I'm not on here to promote myself or for any other ulterior motives. I'm on here for some banter and to listen to other peoples views, regardless if I agree with them or not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Who are the clique ?

Is it just another name for forum regulars or people who have met at socials, Like someone has already said people come and go, Some have big/loud personalities some don't, Some are white knights and some just like to argue but I think most just sit on the fence and watch the show

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I don't get this clique business. There are some lovely people in this forum. There are some who I disagree with, but they are still very nice people. However, there is no in crowd, just people who perhaps know each other well.

I think we've all posted threads that have been ignored. I know I have.

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By *icked kittyCouple over a year ago

Uttoxeter

"There are a lot of people who know each other very well. This could be construed as cliquey when looking from the outside.

I tend not to worry about it, it happens on any Internet forum and I'm not here to conform or try to get in a gang."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think theres a clique as such but a lot of people know one another from socials etc, many of those socials have been organised through the forums. I suppose you could consider it a clique if you wanted to but you have an open invite to join, all you need do is turn up!

As for unfriendly. I disagree, there's some strong opinions but generally the forums are a nice place to hang out and the mods do a good job of keeping everyone in line.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe there's so many of us not in The Clique, perhaps we are in a different one by default!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It can sometimes feel like there's a clique when a lot of members all agree on something and it's in opposition to your own views. Wouldn't let it put you off posting. Everyone's views are valid and if expressed without condescension I always take them on board. Some people are better at this than others. I posted a thread yesterday and it got over 80 replies, it was a kind of innocuous thread though. Just try and have fun

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By *epper123Woman over a year ago

London

I think the 'you know the drill' posts are the worst, I mean, why would you? It seems like there is an established way of doing things on here that you can stumble upon ... I find that too weird, but, well, you know the drill.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree there are a few regulars who can be very cutting to new folk and some downright ignorant and plain nasty too.

I've been here around three years, ive met a handful of people who post regularly, but still post and get ignored sometimes. I don't consider myself a regular, but I would say my OH is, and I can see a huge difference when I post to when he posts from his own profile.

You just have to be thick skinned and not let it get to you. You might end up meeting them some day at a social or a club and they might be really nice...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nah, I just come in here for a laugh and a banter with like-minded individuals. Sometimes it's a little prosaic but hey ho, we're all sat behind a keyboard and there's only so many bash this, suck that threads you can tolerate. It's a small world, many of us have met and so it's obvious that lots of people will have similar views. I definitely don't think there's any cliques. Maybe it's just the platinum members!?!?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its fair enough to say only talk to people who want to talk to you, but when you're new here and just wanting to feel welcome and chat then having hostile forums seems nonsensical. "

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Me?.

Or does anyone else find that the forums are an unfriendly place. To me there is most definitely a clique. They behave like a pack and have each others back.

If you're not in this clique you are simply ignored, rubbished or assassinated.

Really is little more than playground bullying in my opinion.

For such a small minority of society.

Should we not be more together?!"

No.

I recognise that there are regulars, that there are people who are close and have met, that there is a history to many relationships on here and a dynamic that is often over my head. I also recognise that there is sometimes a select few who make more noise than they merit. The threads are also sometimes so fast-moving that many individual posts get buried.

But on balance we have found the forums welcoming and inclusive. I just think you need to persevere, not take stuff too much to heart, and take a break every now and then.

Good luck and enjoy

Mr ddc

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