FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > We've been on here a while now.
We've been on here a while now.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Seems like me and partner have been on here ages now and still haven't met up with anyone. We've specified that all we are looking for is a nice female to join us for some fun, attracting all sorts bar what we are looking for.
Is anybody else having this same problem? Any advice? Thanks x |
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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago
Bedworth |
My response is exactly the same as if a single guy asked.......look at your profile, after reading it would it make you want to meet that person? If the answer is yes then just wait it out, otherwise changes need to be made.
Remember, the elusive single bi female is known as the unicorn for good reason. They are rare so you will need to stand out from all the other couples looking for the same. Oh, and be prepared to wait a loooong time to find her |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
There is nothing wrong with your pics, they look great.
Where there is something wrong is with your profile. It tells a prospective meet absolutely zero about you...other than you don't want to meet men. Well, that isn't much of a selling point if you are hoping to attract a lady to meet you to see how you get along, let alone go to bed with you.
So have a good think about what sort of experience you want, and what sort of experience you can offer, and try to get that across in your profile.
There are so many reasons it's difficult to meet a woman here...once you get past geography, mutual three-way attraction and natural nerves and safety concerns for all involved, the odds are stacked against you.
As has been observed above, three months isn't any time in looking for a woman to join you for FFM, but you are effectively starting from scratch.
Regarding clubs...we only ever went to one, we didn't meet any single women, and we didn't get any veris either!  But it's good advice as a great place to start. You can certainly meet women through Fab, but a club will get your faces out there and you are far more likely to meet a woman when you are verified.
Above all though, always keep in mind that you need to be open, honest and patient. That's the real key. It will work out for you eventually...and when it does, it's amazing! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all your advice guys we aren't in any hurry really, was just wondering if anybody else was having the same kids of trouble. We have a picture on here what we used for our verification picture too of us both but it's hidden. Maybe we need more of those kind of pictures?! We've tqlked about going to these events/parties but not sure if it would be our thing? Suppose it would be a good way to get our faces out there like you say though thanks for taking the time to respond and we will take all on board xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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there are many "newbies" looking for you guys too! yes some will be fakes but do you look? a lot get put off by constant attention off single men so dnt stay very long and as you guys are available i would start looking if your not already  best of luck  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That could be a start too lol, we're just really waiting for people to get in touch if they are interested, but should maybe start actively trying to make this thing happen and get messaging some girls |
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"That could be a start too lol, we're just really waiting for people to get in touch if they are interested, but should maybe start actively trying to make this thing happen and get messaging some girls "
You get out what you put in.
Being passive will get you more of what you already got.... nothing!
Clubs and socials are the way to go.
And forget this "single bi fems are rare" codswallop too, there are tons of them out there... but do yourselves a favour and stop labelling them... we have never played with one... but we have played with loads of our FRIENDS who just so happen to be single, bi, and female!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the sarcasm. Also not we're looking for. Not expecting messages to flood in at all either, just getting messages of older people or couples such as yourselves that are not our type at all. Thanks for the advice all the same |
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
I think the same advice that goes for single guys applies here, go to some clubs and socials. Make friends and get yourself invited to parties.
We have met and few single girls and made friends with them and we still meet up and play occasionally. Most of the initial contact was party based as that is a safe environment and everyone is all happy and flirty anyway
Good luck with your search  |
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By *eithoWoman
over a year ago
Chatham |
Your profile isn't doing you any favours. I know you are new but you need to be more forthcoming about what you have to offer and what you are looking for (though more the former than the latter).
Do you envisage a full swap situation or something else?
Does the fem have any experience with girls?
What kind of things do you like to do?
Why aren't you considering meeting couples?
Whose idea was it to join here?
Admittedly these things can be discussed via message but with single bi fems getting so much mail, it's sometimes more beneficial to put them in your profile.
Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile isn't doing you any favours. I know you are new but you need to be more forthcoming about what you have to offer and what you are looking for (though more the former than the latter).
Do you envisage a full swap situation or something else?
Does the fem have any experience with girls?
What kind of things do you like to do?
Why aren't you considering meeting couples?
Whose idea was it to join here?
Admittedly these things can be discussed via message but with single bi fems getting so much mail, it's sometimes more beneficial to put them in your profile.
Good luck!"
This was exactly what I was going to write! Why just a female on her own? Couples u will get on with well are much easier to meet and I personally have had some great girl on girl in that situation. You dont know what that may lead too. Just this week I met a very sexy lady for some ff in the afternoon yet we first played together with our hubbies 3 years ago maybe.
I think a 3some with a bi fem is most peoples fantasy and top of the to do list when venturing out. If ure lucky it can happen very soon but mostly u will have a long wait. I would suggest to meet a couple for a social and a chat. Lots of people go through this. No ones expecting u to jump in bed with them straight away but meeting others in the lifestyle can really open your eyes ??
What's up with not having your cake and eating it? 2 men and a lady to play with. I for one love it!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like the guy wrote the profile. Doesn't say anything about you, or what you like.
If you want to be successful on here you need to take notice of the negative criticism.
What kind of messages do you send to people? If they are as scant as your profile it will be an uphill struggle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's nothing wrong with your pics, they show the pair of you in a good light and you look like a cheerful pair.
I'd have to agree with previous posters though regarding profile text, you need to expand more upon what you have to offer a single bifem, as they are the ones in demand. Plus some bifems will only meet either single guys or single fems so it really is a niche market.
Above all be more proactive in searching for your type using the search parameters and making first contact.
Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks guys we will take all your advice on board. Think that's part of the problem really, we are lovely people and get on with everyone but this internet way of meeting/talking to new people is still new to us and it's tricky starting the ball rolling. We've both done this kind of thing before just not together and not using the Internet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Single ladies are perhaps the most messaged members on fab - receiving, in some cases, around 100 messages per day. I even saw a status the other day of a lady who had received around 400 in just one hour.
How they can possibly find time to go through all their messages AND go looking for prospective meets and still have a life outside fab escapes me and so my advice to you, as for single guys, is be pro-active and get in touch with those you'd like to meet rather than waiting for them to come to you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's so frustrating also as a couple because Betty is such a fussy girl. She has the ultimate and final decision though really (being a lady and all) only time will tell and we're greatful for all your advice. Also this meeting couples and so on, we probably won't be on here full on swinging indefinet, we just wanted to share an experience together and cross it off our naughty list x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're in a similar position, looking for guys and maybe other couples so not short of offers lol. We're finding the 'connection' element hard, most people just want to meet at the drop of a hat, which i guess is fine if youre experienced and confident. But we want to be sure about what we're doing and who we do it with, people go cold quickly when you explain that. Ah well, we're in no rush either, rather it be incredible when it happens than do anything for the sake of it. |
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I'd agree with some of the advice that you have to get yourselves out there and be seen. In almost 2 years on Fab we've chatted to but never played with single ladies. In clubs we've played with loads. It's a lot easier to connect with somebody in person rather than via a keyboard.
Don't do anything you don't want to do though. We strictly meet single ladies for one reason only, K does not wish to play with other guys. She has tried it, T is happy for her to try, but she didn't feel comfortable doing it. If that limits our fun, so be it but we are here to enjoy ourselves and hopefully give enjoyment to those who play with us.
Have fun x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's so frustrating also as a couple because Betty is such a fussy girl. She has the ultimate and final decision though really (being a lady and all) only time will tell and we're greatful for all your advice. Also this meeting couples and so on, we probably won't be on here full on swinging indefinet, we just wanted to share an experience together and cross it off our naughty list x"
Not many women want to be used by a couple to 'tick something off their list.'
Read profiles. Note women who are looking for couples. Mail, chat, go from there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Try getting involved with the forum a little more, it definitely helped break the ice for us also you could maybe look at the soft swap option with couple, you still get to fulfil the girl on girl fantasy without having to fully swap and it broadens your chances. |
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Love your pics, I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for but maybe try being more specific on your profile. I tend to get slightly worried with the bi-curious label as it can cover so many things.
When I meet with a couple I want to know I wont be just putting on a show for the guy. Equally I want to know whether the woman is going to shy away from reciprocating (bi-selfish I've seen it called!) |
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"We have met a few but to be honest it's been at clubs and parties but we weren't actively searching it more just happened organically "
Exactly the same for us. We've met one sexy lady on her own from here. All the others have been meeting in person first.
There really is no substitute for getting out in the real world and talking to people. We have a suspicion that if you did and were pro-active about it you guys wouldn't have a problem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's so frustrating also as a couple because Betty is such a fussy girl. She has the ultimate and final decision though really (being a lady and all) only time will tell and we're greatful for all your advice. Also this meeting couples and so on, we probably won't be on here full on swinging indefinet, we just wanted to share an experience together and cross it off our naughty list x"
And this is, I'm afraid, what comes across in your profile. It feels as of you're looking for someone to serve a purpose, help fill in a fantasy for you instead of with you. I get this all too often from couples and it's off putting. It's got to be a three way thing where everyone is in it for everyone for me. Good luck. |
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You know what...? I'm almost 100% sure that the unicorn is not that rare...
I meet and chat to a lot of girls on tinder and sex comes up pretty quick...
Most would love to do this, be part of it, join couples, but the old image and the prohibitive nature of the scene put them off. You would be surprised at the types too!
Admittedly most want a guy to take them for their first time, but now I nearly always bring up group sex/clubs if the conversation is about sex and 9 out of 10 are interested and at least half will bring it up unprompted in a few weeks time.
There is just something not quite right for them to make the leap and I have no idea what it is. |
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We found going to a social really helped us. We were really nervous at first but it's just a private pub with like minded people, we met some great people that we could chat too in a relaxed environment with alcohol which also helps. No playing is allowed, so no one feels pressured to 'perform' lol. It's a great way to meet swingers, whatever ever you are looking for and then maybe then arrange a play meet for a later date |
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"It's so frustrating also as a couple because Betty is such a fussy girl. She has the ultimate and final decision though really (being a lady and all) only time will tell and we're greatful for all your advice. Also this meeting couples and so on, we probably won't be on here full on swinging indefinet, we just wanted to share an experience together and cross it off our naughty list x"
I don't want to be a tick on anyone's list...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Think it's more for us both to pleasure the woman in our minds, we both aren't selfish lovers and seeing the other person so turned on would really get us going. Betty used to be an exotic dancer so is really confident. I'm sorry for putting it across as "a tick on the list" also, didn't mean for it to be offensive. Not really a wizard with words x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it's any consolation guys we have only had the pleasure of 1 MFF in 13 years of meeting and that was a result of the ladies partner getting all huffy on us because he couldn't keep his pecker up. He stormed out on us and left poor old me to satisfy the ladies. What a chore
Good luck.
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hey you're both so good looking fit and sexy,better profile needed,better pics,more specs as to what you want.Perfect couple I would say.Wish iWe were closet and youngerxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your photos look great, your profile looks great. Attractive single ladies looking to play with couples are few and far between on here so don't take it personally.
Get to a club/party is the best advice. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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These clubs/parties are they going on regular? I think we would probably prefer that to be honest, not necessarily to have a massive orgy, just will probably find it more easy to approach people in person rather than messaging on here. Xx |
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"Your photos look great, your profile looks great. Attractive single ladies looking to play with couples are few and far between on here so don't take it personally.
Get to a club/party is the best advice."
Then either I'm unattractive or the couples I've met aren't attracted to me... Don't worry - I've not taken it personally either... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's so frustrating also as a couple because Betty is such a fussy girl. She has the ultimate and final decision though really (being a lady and all) only time will tell and we're greatful for all your advice. Also this meeting couples and so on, we probably won't be on here full on swinging indefinet, we just wanted to share an experience together and cross it off our naughty list x
And this is, I'm afraid, what comes across in your profile. It feels as of you're looking for someone to serve a purpose, help fill in a fantasy for you instead of with you. I get this all too often from couples and it's off putting. It's got to be a three way thing where everyone is in it for everyone for me. Good luck. "
Totally agree. I'm not here to serve your fantasy, it has to be an all way thing. It's really frustrating to be honest, not the best attitude and definitely wouldn't interest me. Best of luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your photos look great, your profile looks great. Attractive single ladies looking to play with couples are few and far between on here so don't take it personally.
Get to a club/party is the best advice.
Then either I'm unattractive or the couples I've met aren't attracted to me... Don't worry - I've not taken it personally either... "
Not following your point?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"These clubs/parties are they going on regular? I think we would probably prefer that to be honest, not necessarily to have a massive orgy, just will probably find it more easy to approach people in person rather than messaging on here. Xx"
Yep plenty. Put that you're interested in party invites on your profile. You'll soon get invites.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Surely there are people on here that want that same thing?! We don't mind being used either to serve a purpose. Obviously there would still have to be a spark or something special, but why beat about the bush? We're not looking for love just to have an awesome time and if it goes well then maybe make it a regular thing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Probably could have 10 pics of my penis and close ups of Heidi's beaver but that's not our style?! We're photo verified and could think of better looking people than us if we were going to create a fake account. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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same here been on here now what seems an eternity  we either get men,couples message us or just get messed about and let down all the time...we are looking for the unicorn aswel :/
just use this site now realy just to have a laugh and gawp at the piccys lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's nothing wrong with your pics (unless you've changed them since the start of this thread). I would look at them a think you were a happy and attractive couple. You do need to flesh out the wording a little more and don't be afraid in being specific. Your age range goes to 50, but you mention not wishing to meet older couples (and I assume older single ladies?). You will need to be pro-active though and look for profiles yourself. I hope that's helpful. |
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"That could be a start too lol, we're just really waiting for people to get in touch if they are interested, but should maybe start actively trying to make this thing happen and get messaging some girls "
Yes it does help to contact the ladies lol, it will happen guys but get you will have to get yourself out there e.g. parties/clubs etc.
Also look for local single ladies in your area as i find most single ladies don't want to travel too far, contact them as a friend first & work from there but remember they are individuals with their own sexual agendas who have the best choice of who they met here on Fab. |
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"Your photos look great, your profile looks great. Attractive single ladies looking to play with couples are few and far between on here so don't take it personally.
Get to a club/party is the best advice.
Then either I'm unattractive or the couples I've met aren't attracted to me... Don't worry - I've not taken it personally either...
Not following your point?
You suggested attractive single ladies looking to play with couples are few and far between. Attraction is always subjective and decided between those meeting. I consider myself attractive (self confident rather than arrogant and based on a state of mind not a photo before you ask!) and meet couples without much difficulty. Maybe it's because we choose well before sending messages and yes, I'm known to make the first move rather than sitting around waiting for someone to message me. You get out of this site what you put into it.
"
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By *unkysoulWoman
over a year ago
Mitcham, Surrey |
As a playful unicorn, I thought I'd add some perspective.
I love to meet couples, but when I do I'm looking for a happy and secure couple who already have an amazing sex life...and are looking to share that with a lucky lady. That the experience is going to be amazing for everyone involved.
When I read your profile it does sound like a 'tick box'...which is fine for some, but for myself and some lovely naughty unicorns I know that would be pretty tacky. We're not in this to get laid, we love the intimacy of sharing and having 3 naughty minds to push the boundaries!
You're both very attractive...so I wish you luck.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
You suggested attractive single ladies looking to play with couples are few and far between. Attraction is always subjective and decided between those meeting. I consider myself attractive (self confident rather than arrogant and based on a state of mind not a photo before you ask!) and meet couples without much difficulty. Maybe it's because we choose well before sending messages and yes, I'm known to make the first move rather than sitting around waiting for someone to message me. You get out of this site what you put into it.
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Good for you.
I think many will understand my point perfectly well.
Elle has had single profiles on here too.
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