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By *uzzbuzz OP Couple
over a year ago
guildford |
All work and no play makes some women have an irritated cunt. Sadly the only cure for that is to spread the legs at an obtuse angle (this is to open the irritated area) then there is a three step procedure to complete the 'temporary' alleviation. This condition can build up, sometimes to dangerous levels.
Step 1 ensuring legs are secured (you don't want a kick in the eye) inspect the area for irritation. Apply a generous amount of strawberry lubrication, using fingers work into any nook and cranies where irritation can settle.
Step 2 is to insert the 1st and 2nd fingers into well oiled orifice, curl both fingers and vigorously pump the fingers in and out of the orifice until the natural anti-iritation irrigation system completely saturates the whole area.
Step 3 ensuring the clitorous is suitable swollen, the whole area from top to bottom needs a wet tongue massage, suck the clitorous gently at first to maximum engorgement. At this stage we might think the final cure would be impalement on a blunt object don't give in to our pleas until we have had at least three orgasms, then and only then fuck us as hard as possible ( you may have to release legs for optimum depth positions)
This cure may possibly only last 2-3 days before repeating steps 1-2. Never risk leaving an irritated cunt untreated as the consequences could be dire. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been attempting to offer my assistance to ladies that may be afflicted with this condition, but it would seem that a number of them prefer to endure the irritation  |
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"All work and no play makes some women have an irritated cunt. Sadly the only cure for that is to spread the legs at an obtuse angle (this is to open the irritated area) then there is a three step procedure to complete the 'temporary' alleviation. This condition can build up, sometimes to dangerous levels.
Step 1 ensuring legs are secured (you don't want a kick in the eye) inspect the area for irritation. Apply a generous amount of strawberry lubrication, using fingers work into any nook and cranies where irritation can settle.
Step 2 is to insert the 1st and 2nd fingers into well oiled orifice, curl both fingers and vigorously pump the fingers in and out of the orifice until the natural anti-iritation irrigation system completely saturates the whole area.
Step 3 ensuring the clitorous is suitable swollen, the whole area from top to bottom needs a wet tongue massage, suck the clitorous gently at first to maximum engorgement. At this stage we might think the final cure would be impalement on a blunt object don't give in to our pleas until we have had at least three orgasms, then and only then fuck us as hard as possible ( you may have to release legs for optimum depth positions)
This cure may possibly only last 2-3 days before repeating steps 1-2. Never risk leaving an irritated cunt untreated as the consequences could be dire."
Sounds much too brutal for me. "vigorously pump" no thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All work and no play makes some women have an irritated cunt. Sadly the only cure for that is to spread the legs at an obtuse angle (this is to open the irritated area) then there is a three step procedure to complete the 'temporary' alleviation. This condition can build up, sometimes to dangerous levels.
Step 1 ensuring legs are secured (you don't want a kick in the eye) inspect the area for irritation. Apply a generous amount of strawberry lubrication, using fingers work into any nook and cranies where irritation can settle.
Step 2 is to insert the 1st and 2nd fingers into well oiled orifice, curl both fingers and vigorously pump the fingers in and out of the orifice until the natural anti-iritation irrigation system completely saturates the whole area.
Step 3 ensuring the clitorous is suitable swollen, the whole area from top to bottom needs a wet tongue massage, suck the clitorous gently at first to maximum engorgement. At this stage we might think the final cure would be impalement on a blunt object don't give in to our pleas until we have had at least three orgasms, then and only then fuck us as hard as possible ( you may have to release legs for optimum depth positions)
This cure may possibly only last 2-3 days before repeating steps 1-2. Never risk leaving an irritated cunt untreated as the consequences could be dire.
Sounds much too brutal for me. "vigorously pump" no thank you."
Sounds like a UTI waiting to happen...I'll pass too... |
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In Victorian times a doctor might manually manipulate a woman's clitoris to cure a nervous affliction or hysteria . The number suffering this affliction soared and led to the invention of the first mechanical vibrator. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All work and no play makes some women have an irritated cunt. Sadly the only cure for that is to spread the legs at an obtuse angle (this is to open the irritated area) then there is a three step procedure to complete the 'temporary' alleviation. This condition can build up, sometimes to dangerous levels.
Step 1 ensuring legs are secured (you don't want a kick in the eye) inspect the area for irritation. Apply a generous amount of strawberry lubrication, using fingers work into any nook and cranies where irritation can settle.
Step 2 is to insert the 1st and 2nd fingers into well oiled orifice, curl both fingers and vigorously pump the fingers in and out of the orifice until the natural anti-iritation irrigation system completely saturates the whole area.
Step 3 ensuring the clitorous is suitable swollen, the whole area from top to bottom needs a wet tongue massage, suck the clitorous gently at first to maximum engorgement. At this stage we might think the final cure would be impalement on a blunt object don't give in to our pleas until we have had at least three orgasms, then and only then fuck us as hard as possible ( you may have to release legs for optimum depth positions)
This cure may possibly only last 2-3 days before repeating steps 1-2. Never risk leaving an irritated cunt untreated as the consequences could be dire."
Not for me. I'd prefer to be under sexed compared to what you have on offer. UTI anyone  |
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By *uzzbuzz OP Couple
over a year ago
guildford |
Well thanks for your kind comments. Not sure why you would get a uti from being fingered!
I thought it was quite an amusing piece of writing being as I was sleep deprived, hung over and shagged out, oh and still very much in shock after popping my gushing cherry 5 times!!!
Hey ho you can't please everybody - only the willing.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well thanks for your kind comments. Not sure why you would get a uti from being fingered!
I thought it was quite an amusing piece of writing being as I was sleep deprived, hung over and shagged out, oh and still very much in shock after popping my gushing cherry 5 times!!!
Hey ho you can't please everybody - only the willing.
"
The thing iv found on here is their is always someone want to pull you down. As the old saying goes, if you have nothing good or positive to say.....shut the fuck up.
I enjoyed it and so will a few others. Let the haters hate.... |
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"Well thanks for your kind comments. Not sure why you would get a uti from being fingered!
I thought it was quite an amusing piece of writing being as I was sleep deprived, hung over and shagged out, oh and still very much in shock after popping my gushing cherry 5 times!!!
Hey ho you can't please everybody - only the willing.
"
I think it's all a bit tongue in cheek.
Just not sure which tongue in which cheek. LOL |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All work and no play makes some women have an irritated cunt. Sadly the only cure for that is to spread the legs at an obtuse angle (this is to open the irritated area) then there is a three step procedure to complete the 'temporary' alleviation. This condition can build up, sometimes to dangerous levels.
Step 1 ensuring legs are secured (you don't want a kick in the eye) inspect the area for irritation. Apply a generous amount of strawberry lubrication, using fingers work into any nook and cranies where irritation can settle.
Step 2 is to insert the 1st and 2nd fingers into well oiled orifice, curl both fingers and vigorously pump the fingers in and out of the orifice until the natural anti-iritation irrigation system completely saturates the whole area.
Step 3 ensuring the clitorous is suitable swollen, the whole area from top to bottom needs a wet tongue massage, suck the clitorous gently at first to maximum engorgement. At this stage we might think the final cure would be impalement on a blunt object don't give in to our pleas until we have had at least three orgasms, then and only then fuck us as hard as possible ( you may have to release legs for optimum depth positions)
This cure may possibly only last 2-3 days before repeating steps 1-2. Never risk leaving an irritated cunt untreated as the consequences could be dire."
Brilliant!
Made me chuckle |
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