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What makes you who you are?
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By *omCoyote OP Man
over a year ago
Northern England |
During a conversation the other day, I was asked how long I'd been a Dominant. My usual standard answer is "For as long as I can remember" - but something prompted me to think back to the catalyst / event that actually sparked it.
Well, it was the early 70's and I was 15 or so; I had a part time Saturday job at a butchers shop in the Halifax Borough Market. In my lunch break, I usually popped out for a sandwich.
One particular Saturday, a gorgeous girl walked slowly but purposely towards, and then right past me on the street, wearing nothing on top but a see through plastic raincoat. Her magnificent breasts were on display to everyone - and for want of a better expression, I remember that she looked SO in the zone.
That brief experience hit me like a sledgehammer. I just stood there on the pavement transfixed, dumbstruck, slack jawed and time seemed to stand still.
I was VERY aroused and my first thoughts were to go to the staff toilets and have a wank over her (I did later - and enjoyed MANY more subsequent ones too), but then I began to wonder to myself why on earth she was doing this - and obviously enjoying it too; All despite (or possibly because of) the fact that she was being gawped at. She looked PROUD (and a little haughty / defiant too); She held her head high and didn't scurry along with her head bowed.
My initial thought was that she was doing it for a "dare", but her demeanor (with no signs of coercion, reluctance or shame) scotched that theory, and I concluded that she must've done it to please someone; Possibly her boyfriend / Master (obviously I didn't know anything then) and she was obviously taking great pride in pleasing him - and it looked like it was pleasing her too!
The next thought I had was the clincher: "If only I could find a girl who loved me so much that she would do that for ME"...
I'd welcome other people to share their formative moments. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a bastard my dad told me often and i'm a dom and i found out at 15 too. But i was bullwhipped my a mistress,, i knew then i'd enjoy doin it to her more  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My personality is such a frothing mixture of complications, confusions, mysteries and contradictions that I don't seem to fit into any category other than 'weird' - which in itself is no category at all, as its the place you put people you can't categorise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You'll never know and used her actions to write your own narrative based on your own agenda...interesting how it didn't occur to you that she could have been doing it entirely for herself because she enjoyed it... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm more sub than Dom. The reason for this is that I started to have my first experiences with being tied at a time when I was very busy with work and under a lot of stress.
So, being tied up and teased was an amazing release.
Now I don't need that stress relief, so can play both ways.
I still see being sub as more natural to me and it's still an antidote to me always being in control at work. But because I've been there, if my partner needs to switch off from work I seem to have some good ideas  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am passive and don't seem to have a defying reason why. I am very assertive in my job lead a team of guys and get results.
I think life makes you what you are though cant see what made me who I am. I like people to be happy have fun, don't like confrontation yet will fight tooth and nail for anyone who has been wronged so a mix bag I suppose, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I became a Domme because I had very little choice other then live below the poverty line or become an escort. I was a sub before and was without a Dom for a while. I was talking to a male sub randomly and he told be to become a paid domme. I had no idea I had it in me. Turns out im a natural and I enjoy it a lot. I would still love to be a sub but I can't see that happening. (No I'm not looking for work on here!) |
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I don't know what makes me what I am sexually. I guess it's a whole mix of things I did and saw when I was younger. Many many things. Most I've probably consciously forgot. I guess it's like that for most people.
I'd need a whole team of shrinks and hypnotists to get to the bottom of it all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm naturally strict/bossy, and really good at training dogs by the way. 
I was never really into anything BDSM that much, liked dressing up in pvc and that but could take or leave anything else. My first relationship where i lived with someone was with a foot fetishist, and i've always liked most fetishes and fulfilling those for a partner.
I ended up in an abusive relationship, think that was what first started me onto becoming more controlling in a relationship, i just didn't really like not feeling in control in case i ended up abused again. I stopped being attracted to 'manly' men, or anyone giving off any hint of being misogynistic.
The men i went for (and went for me) tended to be submissive and they made me fell really safe, i really like how that makes me feel. Took me ages to enjoy giving humiliation but i love that more than anything now, don't think i could ever be submissive in a relationship now, not financially, not sexually or in any other way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You'll never know and used her actions to write your own narrative based on your own agenda...interesting how it didn't occur to you that she could have been doing it entirely for herself because she enjoyed it..."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am passive and don't seem to have a defying reason why. I am very assertive in my job lead a team of guys and get results.
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same here - I am sub in my sex life as in my professional life I am the one leading and in charge....I am like two different sides of a coin xx |
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By *omCoyote OP Man
over a year ago
Northern England |
"You'll never know and used her actions to write your own narrative based on your own agenda...interesting how it didn't occur to you that she could have been doing it entirely for herself because she enjoyed it..."
Well I did, sort of say that she looked like she was pleasing herself, but bear in mind that I was 15 at the time and overloaded on testosterone.
Some great responses so far by the way. Thanks for your candour everyone.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What I am has changed with time. I'm more dom these days. Much more so than when I was younger. I think that side of me probably stemmed from cuckolding. |
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