FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > "Proving" we're real
"Proving" we're real
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
We've just been told we're fakes because we're not photo-verified on this site. We're verfified by meets on this site , and extensively verified as real by meeting in person on another site.
We've been on the scene for over 10 years.
We personally aren't into the "proving" thing as we feel there should be some element of trust if you are going to play with people.
We appreciate that some people have a different opinion and prefer to have that proof.
Our question is - if your opinions differ on this matter - is it appropriate to demand people adhere to your "standards ", and if they are reluctant ( such as a well verified cpl having an honest belief that those verifications should carry some weight ) is it appropriate that they be accused of being fakes and it be demanded that they do what the other person wants, or is it not just better to, in an adult way, say " sorry it's very important for me/us that you're photo-verified but respect your stance and perhaps we're just not compatible" and go your respective ways.
Have to admit we find it arrogant and disrespectful to have a person "demand" we prove we're real.
We're sure this will polarise opinions - but whatsrd your thoughts ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Veri's can be faked although 21 is pushing it a bit far lol. Saying that although ginger's solo account is photo verified this one isnt which I guess makes me Cin a fake and means Ginger is a single female pretending to be a couple That would be a first  |
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"We've just been told we're fakes because we're not photo-verified on this site. We're verfified by meets on this site , and extensively verified as real by meeting in person on another site.
We've been on the scene for over 10 years.
We personally aren't into the "proving" thing as we feel there should be some element of trust if you are going to play with people.
We appreciate that some people have a different opinion and prefer to have that proof.
Our question is - if your opinions differ on this matter - is it appropriate to demand people adhere to your "standards ", and if they are reluctant ( such as a well verified cpl having an honest belief that those verifications should carry some weight ) is it appropriate that they be accused of being fakes and it be demanded that they do what the other person wants, or is it not just better to, in an adult way, say " sorry it's very important for me/us that you're photo-verified but respect your stance and perhaps we're just not compatible" and go your respective ways.
Have to admit we find it arrogant and disrespectful to have a person "demand" we prove we're real.
We're sure this will polarise opinions - but whatsrd your thoughts ?"
If someone asks me to do something I don't want to I say no. If they push it I block them. If someone is unwilling to do something I want then I wish them luck and say goodbye. We all have the right to say no, it doesn't make us fake. Anyone demanding anything from me can kiss my arse |
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
I would believe someone who has been verified a bunch of times is more genuine than someone who has held a piece of paper.
I also know that some on here feel the need to try and make you play this game their way. I will not speak to anyone on the phone or Skype them so according to them I would be fake.
My many meets prove I am real to nearly everyone on here. I have never had anyone insist or even ask for a call before hand. To be fair if I read a profile that insists on a call between the females before meeting I move on to another because I do not need the hassle.
Ultimately if someone doesn't think you are real - let them - there are plenty of others who will see the veris and want to meet you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So many more people to see .. ignore the pushy ones ... we wont get photo verified either have more than enough people played with and verified us .if that aint proof enough not our problem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have to admit we find it arrogant and disrespectful to have a person "demand" we prove we're real."
IMHO it's arrogant and disrespectful and also ignorant.
Please continue to run YOUR profile how YOU want to run it.
Deliberately capitalised.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its easier to make a fake profile and verify it,than make a fake profile and photo verify it.
A person who is already verified can easily set up a fake account and verify it by meets themselves,its a bit harder to verify it if say your a male pretending to be a female by a photo verification. In my opinion a photo veri proves more its the person you actualy chatting too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having only ever been fucked about by one person, who was very real he just turned out to be a dick, I don't put much faith in veris or anything like that.
My policy is to not go too far out of my way so that my time isn't wasted by anyone. So I'll arrange to meet for a drink or coffee at lunchtime or on my way home. If they don't turn up then I haven't lost anything. If I'm going further afield, it's only when I'm there visiting friends or away for work anyway.
Apart from the one time I was stood up, this has always served me well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If we were struggling to find meets then we might be prepared to jump through some extra hoops.
The reality is we are not. We are not photo verified but have plenty of meeting verifications. If that is not enough for someone then to be honest we are not much bothered. That's their problem not ours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We've just been told we're fakes because we're not photo-verified on this site. We're verfified by meets on this site , and extensively verified as real by meeting in person on another site.
We've been on the scene for over 10 years.
We personally aren't into the "proving" thing as we feel there should be some element of trust if you are going to play with people.
We appreciate that some people have a different opinion and prefer to have that proof.
Our question is - if your opinions differ on this matter - is it appropriate to demand people adhere to your "standards ", and if they are reluctant ( such as a well verified cpl having an honest belief that those verifications should carry some weight ) is it appropriate that they be accused of being fakes and it be demanded that they do what the other person wants, or is it not just better to, in an adult way, say " sorry it's very important for me/us that you're photo-verified but respect your stance and perhaps we're just not compatible" and go your respective ways.
Have to admit we find it arrogant and disrespectful to have a person "demand" we prove we're real.
We're sure this will polarise opinions - but whatsrd your thoughts ?"
If someone won't do what I ask in order to put my mind at rest I won't accuse them of being fake, but I won't meet them either. |
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We have never actually met anyone .we send our clones instead its easier .
it doesn't really matter what you do there will always be someone that will try to bring you down in some way , probably because they have nothing better to do with their time just block and move on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We've just been told we're fakes because we're not photo-verified on this site. We're verfified by meets on this site , and extensively verified as real by meeting in person on another site.
We've been on the scene for over 10 years.
We personally aren't into the "proving" thing as we feel there should be some element of trust if you are going to play with people.
We appreciate that some people have a different opinion and prefer to have that proof.
Our question is - if your opinions differ on this matter - is it appropriate to demand people adhere to your "standards ", and if they are reluctant ( such as a well verified cpl having an honest belief that those verifications should carry some weight ) is it appropriate that they be accused of being fakes and it be demanded that they do what the other person wants, or is it not just better to, in an adult way, say " sorry it's very important for me/us that you're photo-verified but respect your stance and perhaps we're just not compatible" and go your respective ways.
Have to admit we find it arrogant and disrespectful to have a person "demand" we prove we're real.
We're sure this will polarise opinions - but whatsrd your thoughts ?
If someone won't do what I ask in order to put my mind at rest I won't accuse them of being fake, but I won't meet them either."
Equally if they are not prepared to do as you ask then they might not be that interested in meeting you.
It doesn't necessarily mean they are fake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its easier to make a fake profile and verify it,than make a fake profile and photo verify it.
A person who is already verified can easily set up a fake account and verify it by meets themselves,its a bit harder to verify it if say your a male pretending to be a female by a photo verification. In my opinion a photo veri proves more its the person you actualy chatting too."
We never even look to see if someone is photo verified...it's just not on our radar at all because it doesn't really prove anything. And If our varied and numerous meet veris aren't enough for them, so be it...*shrug* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its easier to make a fake profile and verify it,than make a fake profile and photo verify it.
A person who is already verified can easily set up a fake account and verify it by meets themselves,its a bit harder to verify it if say your a male pretending to be a female by a photo verification. In my opinion a photo veri proves more its the person you actualy chatting too.
We never even look to see if someone is photo verified...it's just not on our radar at all because it doesn't really prove anything. And If our varied and numerous meet veris aren't enough for them, so be it...*shrug*"
I think it does prove something.
It proves the person your talking too is actualy that person. Many many fake profiles on here with verifications.most are from single verifications,and of course i wouldnt doubt multiple veris from many different people. |
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We too are meet verified and not photo ... I just don't see the point.
I'm a photographer and graphics designer by trade and could seriously have any photo verified after 3 minutes of photoshop work ... guarantee it would pass and admin woukd have no idea it's not genuine.
The only way they know is to reverse search the image to see if it's online anywhere and disallow it based on that. |
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By *4nc3rCouple
over a year ago
Clacton-On-Sea, Essex |
I think it's your right to choose how to run your profile, but being photo verified hardly takes more than 10 seconds of your time so it seems a little on the stubborn side to refuse to do it in general. - personally I probably wouldn't opt to meet someone who actively chose not to be photo verified because it seems arrogant and stubborn to me to assume that I should immediately be comfortable with only the information that I have...
Although I would just say no thankyou lol I wouldnt meet someone who demanded anything from me either lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The only way they know is to reverse search the image to see if it's online anywhere and disallow it based on that. "
I've had a couple of images disallowed based on that. Some portrait shots that are on my personal blog mostly. |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
To answer the OP's question, it's entirely appropriate for anyone to ask you to do anything to satisfy themselves that you are someone they want to meet with.
And it's also entirely appropriate for you to turn someone down for any reason you choose, including objecting to whatever they have asked you to do to satisfy themselves that you are someone they would want to meet with.
There are no rules here, other than those you make for yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To honest I'm the same.because I don't have any varies yet on here I don't hardly get a look in,the thing is how do you get various by others when they don't give you a chance. I get it there is a lot of fakes but for us genuine people it's not really fair. |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"To honest I'm the same.because I don't have any varies yet on here I don't hardly get a look in,the thing is how do you get various by others when they don't give you a chance. I get it there is a lot of fakes but for us genuine people it's not really fair."
You've been here three weeks. That is no time at all for Fab. If you are feeling that things are unfair at this early stage, then the site is probably going to disappoint you. |
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I don't think anyone has the right to demand anything - they can politely ask and receive a response, but that response is up to you. If someone made a demand of me, I would immediately know I wasn't compatible with them, so things would go no further. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"To answer the OP's question, it's entirely appropriate for anyone to ask you to do anything to satisfy themselves that you are someone they want to meet with.
And it's also entirely appropriate for you to turn someone down for any reason you choose, including objecting to whatever they have asked you to do to satisfy themselves that you are someone they would want to meet with.
There are no rules here, other than those you make for yourself."
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
If someone asks you something you think is unnecessary... then its a filter that you likely wouldn't get on.
I refuse to do phone calls or skype - I don't see the point in them. I meet socially first, and usually close to home or somewhere I would be anyway, so nothing lost for a no show (never had one yet in about 3 years on here)
Also, I chat for a long time on line before getting near to the stage of meeting, so generally get a good feel for real or fake that way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone asks you something you think is unnecessary... then its a filter that you likely wouldn't get on.
..."
This!
Lots of thumbs up, a hi 5 and a bum bump.  |
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Couldn't give a flying Nunns left tit what or how others think we should/shouldn't conduct ourselves on here! We have never been photo verified .... Just got out there, met people ... Plenty of fun , easy & simple.
There is a limit to just how many hoops people need jump thro ... Some just love to feel important!
Just carry on doing ya thing OP and bollox to em all!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the time ever comes that I start allowing the behaviour of other site members too effect me in such a way that I feel compelled I react by creating a thread moaning about it.......
I'll hang up my frock for good...
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"If someone asks you something you think is unnecessary... then its a filter that you likely wouldn't get on.
...
This!
Lots of thumbs up, a hi 5 and a bum bump. "
Oooh I likes a good bum bump.  |
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"Its easier to make a fake profile and verify it,than make a fake profile and photo verify it.
A person who is already verified can easily set up a fake account and verify it by meets themselves,its a bit harder to verify it if say your a male pretending to be a female by a photo verification. In my opinion a photo veri proves more its the person you actualy chatting too."
Wrong, even someone with limited tech skills like me could fake a photo veri fairly easily, but setting up 20 plus accounts (with veries) and verifying them, just to have a profile that looks real is a lot of work for extremely little reward.
Photo vetoes are a waste of server space.  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
People can ask you to jump through whatever hoops they like.
If you don't want to? Don't jump.
If someone doesn't believe you're real then the issue is more theirs than yours. It's a simple choice as to respond or not and whether you're willing to adhere to any requests.
The more demands people place on their own profiles the more they are likely to find similar demands placed on them by others.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its easier to make a fake profile and verify it,than make a fake profile and photo verify it.
A person who is already verified can easily set up a fake account and verify it by meets themselves,its a bit harder to verify it if say your a male pretending to be a female by a photo verification. In my opinion a photo veri proves more its the person you actualy chatting too."
Yes it is but a quick cross check of a few veris usually links most profiles to someone I've met. If somebody wants to make 20 fake accounts they are just a sad fucker who has too much time on their hands.Holding a piece of paper means fuck all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not photo verified!! My verifications must all be fake then!!! What a load of rubbish!! It's just a tool used if you want to or not, been on here 5 years and never bothered with it! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If the time ever comes that I start allowing the behaviour of other site members too effect me in such a way that I feel compelled I react by creating a thread moaning about it.......
I'll hang up my frock for good...
Think you might have misread or misunderstood our reason - we weren't moaning - as said before - thought it would make an interesting discussion point
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being verified in person is surely better than photo verified?
The photo verification is easy to get and that photo does not get shown so there is nothing stopping someone putting a load of fake photos up afterwards.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't adhere to anyone's demands. If people start asking things of me, then I simply ignore the messages.
When considering a potential meet we will send clear face pics of the two of us. I will not take 360 degree pictures of my naked body or his, I do not do action pics, I will not tell you my dress measurements. I don't do requests.
I couldn't give a monkeys if someone calls us fakes, stop reading my profile and annoy someone else. I simply cannot understand why the word fake annoys people.
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You have verifications from meeting in person. Surely that is worth more than being photo verified.
We too were accused of being fake because we didn't want to meet with another couple who had sent us a message just saying "fancy meeting up tonight" |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
Got a series of messages the other day basically saying I was a fake and a Timewaster because I hadn't responded to an initial "Fancy an MMF" message from an unverified profile a few days previously...I was slightly irked that he'd blocked me before I could tell him that his latter messages were the reason he'd stay unverified whilst I carried on adding to my 200+ meets and having the time of my life  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't adhere to anyone's demands. If people start asking things of me, then I simply ignore the messages.
When considering a potential meet we will send clear face pics of the two of us. I will not take 360 degree pictures of my naked body or his, I do not do action pics, I will not tell you my dress measurements. I don't do requests.
I couldn't give a monkeys if someone calls us fakes, stop reading my profile and annoy someone else. I simply cannot understand why the word fake annoys people.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've just been told we're fakes because we're not photo-verified on this site. We're verfified by meets on this site , and extensively verified as real by meeting in person on another site.
We've been on the scene for over 10 years.
We personally aren't into the "proving" thing as we feel there should be some element of trust if you are going to play with people.
We appreciate that some people have a different opinion and prefer to have that proof.
Our question is - if your opinions differ on this matter - is it appropriate to demand people adhere to your "standards ", and if they are reluctant ( such as a well verified cpl having an honest belief that those verifications should carry some weight ) is it appropriate that they be accused of being fakes and it be demanded that they do what the other person wants, or is it not just better to, in an adult way, say " sorry it's very important for me/us that you're photo-verified but respect your stance and perhaps we're just not compatible" and go your respective ways.
Have to admit we find it arrogant and disrespectful to have a person "demand" we prove we're real.
We're sure this will polarise opinions - but whatsrd your thoughts ?" 21 published veris from.members. NUFF SAID! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being verified in person is surely better than photo verified?
The photo verification is easy to get and that photo does not get shown so there is nothing stopping someone putting a load of fake photos up afterwards.
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I've had the exact same issue on my single profile and our couples profile.
On both occasions the person was photo verified and webcam verified but not verified by meet.
Both people joined the long list of people in our Block Lists... |
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