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Vanilla sex life ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Vanilla sex (or conventional sex) is a description of what a culture regards as standard or conventional sexual behaviour ie: Missionary, or as your grandparents used to do it lol |
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"Yet a lot of people heavilly into BDSM call swingers vanilla!
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very true
they see people that simply swop partners as those that have more diverse and varied vanilla sex
but its silly to be bogged down in terminology
and in fact i have found many involved with the bdsm sceene are obssesed with who does what , and what you can and cant do in certain roles etc
god help you if you dont type correctly
D/s etc *smiles*
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swingers" practice the same things as "Vanilla" people, it's just that we do it with other couples and singles.
Just a thought though, if we didn't live in a monogamous society, would we still swing, given that we would have access to a different partner every night, lol?
Now I know that it's usually the male that can have multiple partners but what if it were acceptable for ladies to have multiple husbands? |
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Funny thing is, in respect of animalist natural human behaviour swinging is a more ‘natural’ behaviour than monogamous relationships. And under the heading of ‘natural behaviour’ its more natural for the human female to be promiscuous… the fittest strongest mate wins and produces the best quality offspring. For us, relatively speaking swinging is more vanilla than our private sex life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
""Swingers" practice the same things as "Vanilla" people, it's just that we do it with other couples and singles.
Just a thought though, if we didn't live in a monogamous society, would we still swing, given that we would have access to a different partner every night, lol?
Now I know that it's usually the male that can have multiple partners but what if it were acceptable for ladies to have multiple husbands?"
More than one husband? ooooooh no thanks 
Lots of playmates suits me much better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The funny thing is that many people who enjoy BDSM don't actually have sex with thier Partners/Masters/Slaves/Mistress they get thier fun from the various acts ie CBT, Tie and Tease, Spanking, Humiliation, Bondage, Whipping, Mummification, Depravation, Choking and much more |
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"Yet a lot of people heavilly into BDSM call swingers vanilla!
very true
they see people that simply swop partners as those that have more diverse and varied vanilla sex
but its silly to be bogged down in terminology
and in fact i have found many involved with the bdsm sceene are obssesed with who does what , and what you can and cant do in certain roles etc
god help you if you dont type correctly
D/s etc *smiles*
"
Agree 100% put us off going to any more of their events as it was way way too serious for us!! |
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By *onyMad123Couple
over a year ago
nottingham/ derby |
i thin vanilla is more you average standard shagging
suppose you can get mint choc chip which is a bit stronger, a mild spanking maybe a bit of rope typing
Tutti fruity which is a bit more naughty, maybe a bit of bum fun and soft swinging
then bsdm is your full hard core rum n rasin  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many people in BDSM have , discipline, respect for their partners/slaves and can also lead perfectly normal sex lives and.......wait for it ......... turn up to meets, something a lot of "Vanillas" seem to be lacking. Funnily enough I have never heard the term "vanilla" used in any of the BDSM places I frequent but hey we are just a bunch of fetishists |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally i dont think BDSM is a fetish and Wikipedia describes a sexual fetish as:
sexual attraction to objects, body parts or situations not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature needed to satisfy (I guess like toilet stuff).
Nothing wrong with vanilla sex, its nice now again just to do that rather than spanking or toys (or be adventurous) as i do sometimes, therefore those only into convential sex or possibly those that are not adventurous, will only ever do vanilla sex  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As I understand this 'vanilla sex' is the no frills sex without all the added extras .
Nothing wrong with that is there ? That can be enjoyable too if done with the right people . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I understand this 'vanilla sex' is the no frills sex without all the added extras .
Nothing wrong with that is there ? That can be enjoyable too if done with the right people . "
Absolutely |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As I understand this 'vanilla sex' is the no frills sex without all the added extras .
Nothing wrong with that is there ? That can be enjoyable too if done with the right people .
Absolutely"
So I am completely right ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As I understand this 'vanilla sex' is the no frills sex without all the added extras .
Nothing wrong with that is there ? That can be enjoyable too if done with the right people .
Absolutely
So I am completely right ?"
Thank you fabbers.
Now I have discovered what this term means , it will be getting more airtime lol
Anyone for vanilla sex ? |
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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago
stoke on trent |
"Many people in BDSM have , discipline, respect for their partners/slaves and can also lead perfectly normal sex lives and.......wait for it ......... turn up to meets, something a lot of "Vanillas" seem to be lacking."
We're not into the BDSM scene - but from the above we assume they not have timewasters like swingers do? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive always thought of vanilla sex as being non swinging sex, I guess what society deems as mainstream. I dont know why its called vanilla, but as someone suggested its a term deemed to describe bland missionary style, what your grandparents did sex (though whose to say that or grandparents werent swinging from the chandeliers).
I personally dont think that swinging sex is better than the sex between me and him. Its an added extra, a bit of taboo brought into our relationship, gorgeous by the fact that its those extra pair of hands that can get places where two people just cant, but the sex between the two of us has always been far better than any swinging sex ive had. Thats just my opinion and experience though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Many people in BDSM have , discipline, respect for their partners/slaves and can also lead perfectly normal sex lives and.......wait for it ......... turn up to meets, something a lot of "Vanillas" seem to be lacking.
We're not into the BDSM scene - but from the above we assume they not have timewasters like swingers do?"
It isn't quite the same. You don't arrange meets so to speak. However it would be very bad form to not turn up to something you had give your word to attend. Yes okay sometimes it can not be helped.
We use swinging scene as well because to be fair if you asked for a facial in bdsm world it would be to boring to generate enough interest. However it is something both Master and I enjoy.
Yes a lot of what we do together is heavily BDSM, and we do live the lifestyle pretty much 24/7 but... we like the swinging life too. Its fun, its something we have fun with. We do not really go for other couples as swapping partners is not for us but in any of this its all about diversity.
Katie. ( As master is busy planning my demise.) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmmm, I only play with single gents, meet via FAB or via clubs for swingers like Chams, so am I having swingers sex or vanilla ones?
Answer on a postcard please, thanks!  |
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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago
London |
"Its called vanilla as its meant to be bland,flavourless sex  "
Got to disagree..
Vanilla was the single flavour back in the day.
as others have mentioned the tern is used in any situation where you are talking about the norm
In swinging I see vanilla as non swinging
In sex positions.. Vanilla is missionary although to be quite honest we probably have had missionary sex about twice this year, so it sort of is not vanilla
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We have been referred to as vanillas a few times on here..the annoying thing is when people call us 'boring vanillas'
Not at all fair in our opinion...and normally gets met with a 'broadside' from us.. |
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