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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Delete, there is your no thanks because if you type no thanks then press send you either get uncalled for abuse back or the Spanish inquisition as to why its a no thanks often followed by constant pestering trying to change your mind! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Delete, there is your no thanks because if you type no thanks then press send you either get uncalled for abuse back or the Spanish inquisition as to why its a no thanks often followed by constant pestering trying to change your mind!"
No thanks then block |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Delete, there is your no thanks because if you type no thanks then press send you either get uncalled for abuse back or the Spanish inquisition as to why its a no thanks often followed by constant pestering trying to change your mind!
No thanks then block"
I do now  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP picture the scene, you log on to 30 to 50 new messages, all the time getting a few more because you're online and have gone to the top of the page. You start reading the messages that mostly consist of "fancy a fuck" or similar crude uninspiring one liners from faceless profiles with little or no info or pics on them. Out of these messages, only a handful will be worth replying to. How long do you think it would take to send 40 or so no thanks messages?? Quicker to delete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"i personally say thanks for the reply"
I try to do that but despite having filters in place and only looking for men aged 98_99 I still can't always keep up with messages,but I do try |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i personally say thanks for the reply
Oh how naïve.... the difference between, men, women and couple  "
i dont think its naive at all....i usually reply saying no thank you...takes a second...any subsequent reply i get other thanks for the reply gets deleted ..and if they look as if they are saying anything else, i usually dont open them, gets a block as well.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i personally say thanks for the reply
Oh how naïve.... the difference between, men, women and couple
i dont think its naive at all....i usually reply saying no thank you...takes a second...any subsequent reply i get other thanks for the reply gets deleted ..and if they look as if they are saying anything else, i usually dont open them, gets a block as well.."
 I always reply to the first mail too. Can't remember the last time I had any abuse. Mostly people say thank you for having the courtesy to reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok I have a profile that states I will only reply to messages from forums and I'm not meeting. I get a message that just says hi and not from forums. Why should I be polite and reply when they have gone against everything I have said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on the message really...I can only speak for myself but effortless messages only bring about less effort in my next course of action. On the flip side, a polite no for a nice message is nothing for us guys considering most our unread mail is in our sent folder! Lol
Oh and you know the above can be completely discounted if the sender is really hot!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would feel offended if a woman said no thanks. It's like I did something wrong opposed to not being her type. When you do something wrong, it's supposed to be naughty Then again I've sent women messages and they've deleted it, not because they weren't interested, but because they get so many messages that they do a mass delete. Is there a third option? |
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I appreciate receiving a "no thanks" to be honest. But I am aware that some guys will then ask why and try to get the lady into chatting anyway so I understand why a lot of women delete and move on.
as a guy, on the rare occasion that I receive a message and am not interested, I will politely say so. Manners cost nothing in my case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i personally say thanks for the reply
Oh how naïve.... the difference between, men, women and couple "
Not even remotely naive, it's good manners. If I get declined with a message then I'll thank them for the reply and wish them luck. Likewise, I'll always send a message to say no thanks.
I do both as its the polite, right thing to do for me and my message volume...naivety has nothing to do with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll always try to reply, i think its a bit ignorant not to, but its irritating when my profile notes have clearly been ignored. Most acknowledge the reply which is nice too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is it quicker to delete or say no thanks"
Delete, often a no thanks is returned with another message, but why, well didn't want meet slag like you etc.
FAQs say a no reply is a polite no thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i personally say thanks for the reply
Oh how naïve.... the difference between, men, women and couple
i dont think its naive at all....i usually reply saying no thank you...takes a second...any subsequent reply i get other thanks for the reply gets deleted ..and if they look as if they are saying anything else, i usually dont open them, gets a block as well..
I always reply to the first mail too. Can't remember the last time I had any abuse. Mostly people say thank you for having the courtesy to reply. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't mind if I get a delete or no thanks, just as long as it hasn't been read then not deleted and no reply...
that proper winds me up, so if I notice my sent message has been read, not deleted and no reply = block
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We tend to reply to messages and limit numbers received with filters. We have never received a rude reply or been harrassed to say why.
A long time ago we asked people in a forum post how many messages they actually received per day. The 50 to 100 story was shown then to be apocraphyl but it lives on.
Some complain they receive messages even though they are not meeting at all. Why not just hide profile and you won't be bothered? Or do you like the attention?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We tend to reply to messages and limit numbers received with filters. We have never received a rude reply or been harrassed to say why.
A long time ago we asked people in a forum post how many messages they actually received per day. The 50 to 100 story was shown then to be apocraphyl but it lives on.
Some complain they receive messages even though they are not meeting at all. Why not just hide profile and you won't be bothered? Or do you like the attention? "
Makes me laugh when some complain about too many messages, that's what filters are for but when you suggest this it gets ignored as then they wouldn't get much attention
If I took all my filters off then I would get around 30 plus messages a day, at present I get around 10 and that's more than enough for me. As for moaning people get messages when their profile says they're not meeting, then I agree, hide it but again, when suggested they often say they don't want to hide it. Well then don't moan you're getting messages, change your age filters to 98-99 or block everyone in your filters, pretty simple but for some, they just love the attention. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok let's change the original message, let's say your out shopping and some random person holds open a door for you even though you didn't really want them too. Is it quicker to blank them or say thank you? |
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"Ok let's change the original message, let's say your out shopping and some random person holds open a door for you even though you didn't really want them too. Is it quicker to blank them or say thank you?"
It's not the same thing at all. Holding a door open is an act of kindness and charity whereas sending a message is a quest for contact.
A better analogy is the frequently cited one of not answering junk mail that lands on your doormat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I average around 130 people messaging a day when looking, nothing to do with seeking attention. Not being funny but most of the people on here aren't that good looking, if you're half decent looking you are gonna be popular and the better looking you are the more popular you'll be. Having a good variety of pics up and an approachable profile helps too. If you look like an easy fuck and less hassle to get with then this will aslo make you more popular, which on a site like this most people are gonna be presumed to be easy anyway - which explains half the shitty messages that get sent like 'fancy a fuck'.
100 messages a day is nothing, i bet those in the top fabbed pics get way more than that, could even be getting into the 1000s a day probably.
Things i've noticed put people off on female profiles are Marilyn Manson lyrics to the Lala song- although i did get one funny message because of it, but my inbox pretty much remained empty for the whole of the time i had that up.
And the massive cock i have on it now has ensured my inbox is fairly empty, my page probably looks like a troll page right now.
So, the weirder your profile looks is one good way of cutting down messages without changing filters.
Think im averaging about 30 messages a day now my profile looks stupid and most of these are poeple i already chat to or have met before.
People can complain if they want to, this site changes all the time and so do the users. Sometimes it can take a while to figure out how to get your inbox manageable without also blocking people you want to contact you. You'll have to keep tweaking stuff here and there to keep on top of it too.
At least this site has features you can use to keep your inbox manageable, other sites don't even have any filters or an option to hide their page.
Even if they are doing it for attention then people are giving them that attention by slagging them off, or just mentioning them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok let's change the original message, let's say your out shopping and some random person holds open a door for you even though you didn't really want them too. Is it quicker to blank them or say thank you?
It's not the same thing at all. Holding a door open is an act of kindness and charity whereas sending a message is a quest for contact.
A better analogy is the frequently cited one of not answering junk mail that lands on your doormat"
The original post is titled manners so I think replying thank you to an open door equates to manners or am I wrong there too? |
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"Ok let's change the original message, let's say your out shopping and some random person holds open a door for you even though you didn't really want them too. Is it quicker to blank them or say thank you?
It's not the same thing at all. Holding a door open is an act of kindness and charity whereas sending a message is a quest for contact.
A better analogy is the frequently cited one of not answering junk mail that lands on your doormat
The original post is titled manners so I think replying thank you to an open door equates to manners or am I wrong there too?"
Of course not saying thank you to a door held open would be bad manners because, as I said, it's an act of kindness.
Not replying to a message on this site does not constitute bad manners. That's the point.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok let's change the original message, let's say your out shopping and some random person holds open a door for you even though you didn't really want them too. Is it quicker to blank them or say thank you?
It's not the same thing at all. Holding a door open is an act of kindness and charity whereas sending a message is a quest for contact.
A better analogy is the frequently cited one of not answering junk mail that lands on your doormat
The original post is titled manners so I think replying thank you to an open door equates to manners or am I wrong there too?
Of course not saying thank you to a door held open would be bad manners because, as I said, it's an act of kindness.
Not replying to a message on this site does not constitute bad manners. That's the point.
"
That's where I differ in opinion, but that's what forums are for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We never get the talked about 50 to 100 messages a day! lol If the message is "hi" or "want a fuck" we just ignore. If they have taken the time to write a message and sent pics we will always send a message back, only takes a few seconds. Only once had a nasty reply and to be honest it just made me laugh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is my second time on this website and I'm beginning to regret it already. I seem to have attracted every bigoted a**hole that's ever registered.
Some ( not all ) people just don't understand manners, refuse to read profiles( or can't ), and are just generally unpleasant. and then there's the false profiles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We tend to reply to messages and limit numbers received with filters. We have never received a rude reply or been harrassed to say why.
A long time ago we asked people in a forum post how many messages they actually received per day. The 50 to 100 story was shown then to be apocraphyl but it lives on.
Some complain they receive messages even though they are not meeting at all. Why not just hide profile and you won't be bothered? Or do you like the attention?
Makes me laugh when some complain about too many messages, that's what filters are for but when you suggest this it gets ignored as then they wouldn't get much attention
If I took all my filters off then I would get around 30 plus messages a day, at present I get around 10 and that's more than enough for me. As for moaning people get messages when their profile says they're not meeting, then I agree, hide it but again, when suggested they often say they don't want to hide it. Well then don't moan you're getting messages, change your age filters to 98-99 or block everyone in your filters, pretty simple but for some, they just love the attention."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it is quicker to delete and we sometimes do - if its an out of the blue invite that isnt anything like anything on our want list - but if the profile has been read and some effort been made we will reply with a no thanks not for us message |
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"It's quicker to set mail filters and go looking.
People don't get their ego boosting bulging mailbox fix that way though.... "
Spot on!
When visible my profile has loads of filters and written to allow wannabes to exclude themselves, thereby reducing the numbers who can contact me.
I also add if they're outwith what I'm looking for I won't reply: and I don't!
Anyone who meets what I'm looking for but I don't want to meet will always get a polite no thanks and wishing them well on site.
Never had a nasty reply.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When i joined a few weeks ago i thought a delete was quite rude given time i spent to write the message, Reading profiles etc. However as time has passed and read more on forums i actually prefer a simple delete. Its simple and leaves no one with misunderstanding (even if i am gutted).
The thing that confuses me is when people read but dont delete... Does that mean interested or not? Are they planning to respond later? Have they simply forgotten...
Given that I've only received about 4 unsolicited messages I'm proud to say I've responded to every single one of those
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I know the 50+ messages per day can be real. My wife usually gets a few but we have friends with more daring profiles who definitely do receive lots. One evening comparing inboxes a friend who had just logged on after a work shift showed me the 53 new messages in her inbox.
I am confused too when someone reads a message then doesn't delete it but they probably just forgot about it in their swamped inbox. My personal policy is never to write more than twice to someone if they don't respond. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When i joined a few weeks ago i thought a delete was quite rude given time i spent to write the message, Reading profiles etc. However as time has passed and read more on forums i actually prefer a simple delete. Its simple and leaves no one with misunderstanding (even if i am gutted).
The thing that confuses me is when people read but dont delete... Does that mean interested or not? Are they planning to respond later? Have they simply forgotten...
Given that I've only received about 4 unsolicited messages I'm proud to say I've responded to every single one of those "
Don't worry about your sent mail, delete it as soon as its sent so you don't know what the recipient has done to it. You'll either get a reply or you won't. No point worrying about things that are out of your control. |
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