FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > affair or not?
affair or not?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Ok so I'm intrigued to hear people's opinions on members joining as singles but are actually married and on here without the spouse knowing...is it an affair? or is it different because it's a swingers site and not a dating site?. The topic of ' I've been chatting to a married member' seems to come up fairly often. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
I should add that the fallout would be just as devastating
I don't know if I'd be more pissed off that my marriage was compromised due to a random fuck that meant nothing or an affair that did |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Without consent of your partner is cheating, an ongoing relationship is an affair, but what do I know, I'm a cheat by all accounts xx"
Oh dear lol..so your married? Darcy x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There are different reasons for, and different types of cheating.
I see an affair as a long-term emotional relationship acting as a surrogate or replacement for a relationship missing that emotional bond, love, closeness, etc.
Sex may be the same or different to some people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I should add that the fallout would be just as devastating
I don't know if I'd be more pissed off that my marriage was compromised due to a random fuck that meant nothing or an affair that did"
Its an odd one isn't it..I'm a massive thinker and I can't get my head around this one lol. Are we hypocrites saying it's cheating?, when in theory people could also say that we are cheating..but our argument could be, but we both consent to it. It's such a tricky debate :/ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There are different reasons for, and different types of cheating.
I see an affair as a long-term emotional relationship acting as a surrogate or replacement for a relationship missing that emotional bond, love, closeness, etc.
Sex may be the same or different to some people. "
Yes I guess you are right..maybe I should of said affair and or cheating..kinda the same thing to me but I get the difference now lol. Darcy x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
Don't tear your hair out about it
If you believe what you're doing is cheating then call it consensual cheating
I don't agree that it's cheating of any sort though  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it is cheating if it's just sex. Like you say OP surely every couple consenting or none consenting who have sexual relations with others is cheating also.
Difference being you may have either a partner with similar sexual interests or a very understanding partner. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Without consent of your partner is cheating, an ongoing relationship is an affair, but what do I know, I'm a cheat by all accounts xx
Oh dear lol..so your married? Darcy x"
Nope, divorced, she cheated on me but hey that's life I suppose, I have a girlfriend x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Without consent of your partner is cheating, an ongoing relationship is an affair, but what do I know, I'm a cheat by all accounts xx
Oh dear lol..so your married? Darcy x
Nope, divorced, she cheated on me but hey that's life I suppose, I have a girlfriend x"
Happens to the best of us . Years,down the line you think..cheers mate, you done me a favour lol.
And does your girlfriend know you are swinging? See affairs to me used to mean if you was married..cheating was if your in a relationship..I've now learn the real meaning lol. Darcy x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Is it an affair? I'd say no as that to me indicates a more emotional bond than just a physical fling.
I do think playing without your significant others knowledge or permission is cheating though...
But each to their own I guess. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We often think we probably keep many a marriage going as we meet so many men on our digging adventures .
As has been said , it's cheating by those who are married , but it's just sex without emotion .
Far better that than an affair I would think .
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I believe a famous Irish philosopher said it best: "Life is a roller coaster, just gotta ride it"
As Steel Panther said "my heart belongs to you, but my cock is community property" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Without consent of your partner is cheating, an ongoing relationship is an affair, but what do I know, I'm a cheat by all accounts xx
Oh dear lol..so your married? Darcy x
Nope, divorced, she cheated on me but hey that's life I suppose, I have a girlfriend x
Happens to the best of us. Years,down the line you think..cheers mate, you done me a favour lol.
And does your girlfriend know you are swinging? See affairs to me used to mean if you was married..cheating was if your in a relationship..I've now learn the real meaning lol. Darcy x"
She does not I'm afraid x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why can everyone just do their thing and respect others choices?  "
It's nobody's business who does what at the end of the day..I'm just intrigued about what people's _iews are...of course if I was the person sitting at home oblivious as too what my partner was doing..then I may think differently. Darcy x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think it is cheating if it's just sex. Like you say OP surely every couple consenting or none consenting who have sexual relations with others is cheating also.
Difference being you may have either a partner with similar sexual interests or a very understanding partner. "
Exactly..that's why I feel it's harsh for anyone in this 'scene' to judge another. Darcy x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"say,s on your profile a very much in love couple but if it,s behind his back not much love there "
If you read my op then you will realise this question is not about myself and Ted lol. We are a strong couple who is in love...you've mis-understood my post. I'm asking peoples opinions as I'm seeing posts saying that they are chatting to married people. It's a debate shall I say! Darcy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Don't tear your hair out about it
If you believe what you're doing is cheating then call it consensual cheating
I don't agree that it's cheating of any sort though "
No I think you maybe right. In my eyes cheating means behind someone's back..so guess we are ok if we lay on our backs lol. Darcy x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It really annoys me when people say "it's just sex, not emotional, it isn't cheating". I'd be very pissed off and hurt if I had a partner and he was just texting another woman in "that way".
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It really annoys me when people say "it's just sex, not emotional, it isn't cheating". I'd be very pissed off and hurt if I had a partner and he was just texting another woman in "that way".
"
I wouldn't like it if I was the person at home non the wiser..I've had someone cheat on me and it was soul destroying at the time..everyone has different _iews I guess don't they. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I agree with above.
Cheating = one offs, just sex.
Affair = more regular, care about each other.
Mutually consensual cheating = who cares as long as its fun!
I see some married guys and I don't care what it's called. It's up to them and their conscience. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
An affair is a romantic relationship with another person who isn't your partner.
"Just sex" could be literally just that, a one-off, but there's a middle area of friends having sex, without emotional relationship type attachment.
As with all kinds of sexual relationships, there's a myriad of circumstances and possibilities for those who are here without their partner too. To boil it down to one thing or another is naive. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why do people in here have to label everything...
2 adults agree to have sex
End of story "
Not labelling..just asking for opinions..why do people have to argue about everything on here lol. Darcy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do people in here have to label everything...
2 adults agree to have sex
End of story
Not labelling..just asking for opinions..why do people have to argue about everything on here lol. Darcy"
This isn't an argument it's a discussion
Gah now I've gone and labelled something! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *helbeeCouple
over a year ago
Nuneaton |
im seperated but still legally married my ex husband is on dateing sites.An its a lot different when you are seperated as im not with my husband any more. We lead seperate lifes, An we are ex s an live apart from one another an getting divorced, I just dont want a relationship an Nsa suits me at the mo an convienant
An i dont want a bf/ an enter into another relationship |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you have a partner and they know nothing about what you are doing, whether its a one-off, long term fling or whatever, it is cheating, simple as that."
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm pretty sure the question wasn't 'is it cheating'. Everyone would agree that it is. "
Cheating/affair..pretty much the same thing really. I was just intrigued as to what people thought as I've seen so many people in the past post that it's only sex or its just swinging..kinda wondered if that was the general way of thinking. Darcy x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"im seperated but still legally married my ex husband is on dateing sites.An its a lot different when you are seperated as im not with my husband any more. We lead seperate lifes, An we are ex s an live apart from one another an getting divorced, I just dont want a relationship an Nsa suits me at the mo an convienant
An i dont want a bf/ an enter into another relationship "
Absolutely..but that's different..your both going your own separate ways and I wouldn't call that cheating or having an affair..that's just called moving on in my eyes. Darcy.x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm pretty sure the question wasn't 'is it cheating'. Everyone would agree that it is.
Cheating/affair..pretty much the same thing really. I was just intrigued as to what people thought as I've seen so many people in the past post that it's only sex or its just swinging..kinda wondered if that was the general way of thinking. Darcy x"
Ah ok. Well I think most would agree it's all cheating, of which an affair is just one type of cheating. I think they are actually different things, because there can be cheating without being an affair. 'Affair' isn't actually a term I'd use for most arrangements on here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Cheating but none of my business what others do..."
Absolutely..but everyone can have an opinion, and as this isn't directed at anybody in particular then your not poking your nose in :D. Darcy x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *helbeeCouple
over a year ago
Nuneaton |
"im seperated but still legally married my ex husband is on dateing sites.An its a lot different when you are seperated as im not with my husband any more. We lead seperate lifes, An we are ex s an live apart from one another an getting divorced, I just dont want a relationship an Nsa suits me at the mo an convienant
An i dont want a bf/ an enter into another relationship
Absolutely..but that's different..your both going your own separate ways and I wouldn't call that cheating or having an affair..that's just called moving on in my eyes. Darcy.x"
Iam moving on an having a lot of fun an find im getting confidence since ive been on here, An i find it suits me an my situ, an ive moved on from my ex husband an loving single life im having a lot more fun |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm pretty sure the question wasn't 'is it cheating'. Everyone would agree that it is.
Cheating/affair..pretty much the same thing really. I was just intrigued as to what people thought as I've seen so many people in the past post that it's only sex or its just swinging..kinda wondered if that was the general way of thinking. Darcy x
Ah ok. Well I think most would agree it's all cheating, of which an affair is just one type of cheating. I think they are actually different things, because there can be cheating without being an affair. 'Affair' isn't actually a term I'd use for most arrangements on here. "
Yes it seems I used the wrong choice of word lol..but affair and cheating means the same thing to me. However I personally think It's the person who is in the relationship that needs to worry about the 'partner' not the other 'swinger'..I mean for all we know loads could be secretly married lol. Darcy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"im seperated but still legally married my ex husband is on dateing sites.An its a lot different when you are seperated as im not with my husband any more. We lead seperate lifes, An we are ex s an live apart from one another an getting divorced, I just dont want a relationship an Nsa suits me at the mo an convienant
An i dont want a bf/ an enter into another relationship
Absolutely..but that's different..your both going your own separate ways and I wouldn't call that cheating or having an affair..that's just called moving on in my eyes. Darcy.x
Iam moving on an having a lot of fun an find im getting confidence since ive been on here, An i find it suits me an my situ, an ive moved on from my ex husband an loving single life im having a lot more fun "
Brilliant..and that's how it should be..swinging seems to becoming alot more complicated than it needs to be..its almost like a lot of people are looking at it like a dating site lol. Darcy x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm pretty sure the question wasn't 'is it cheating'. Everyone would agree that it is.
Cheating/affair..pretty much the same thing really. I was just intrigued as to what people thought as I've seen so many people in the past post that it's only sex or its just swinging..kinda wondered if that was the general way of thinking. Darcy x
Ah ok. Well I think most would agree it's all cheating, of which an affair is just one type of cheating. I think they are actually different things, because there can be cheating without being an affair. 'Affair' isn't actually a term I'd use for most arrangements on here.
Yes it seems I used the wrong choice of word lol..but affair and cheating means the same thing to me. However I personally think It's the person who is in the relationship that needs to worry about the 'partner' not the other 'swinger'..I mean for all we know loads could be secretly married lol. Darcy"
I'd agree with that. There are other people who aren't comfortable with it though which is totally up to them, but for me it's the person in the relationship's decision to make and their responsibility. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *helbeeCouple
over a year ago
Nuneaton |
"im seperated but still legally married my ex husband is on dateing sites.An its a lot different when you are seperated as im not with my husband any more. We lead seperate lifes, An we are ex s an live apart from one another an getting divorced, I just dont want a relationship an Nsa suits me at the mo an convienant
An i dont want a bf/ an enter into another relationship
Absolutely..but that's different..your both going your own separate ways and I wouldn't call that cheating or having an affair..that's just called moving on in my eyes. Darcy.x
Iam moving on an having a lot of fun an find im getting confidence since ive been on here, An i find it suits me an my situ, an ive moved on from my ex husband an loving single life im having a lot more fun
Brilliant..and that's how it should be..swinging seems to becoming alot more complicated than it needs to be..its almost like a lot of people are looking at it like a dating site lol. Darcy x"
i dont see it as a dateing site i dont want the trappings of another relationship so nsa for me is the way to go.
An ive had some good social meets an some fun too an i get to feel confident wear nice lingerie an still keep my life as a singleton. Happy days
An now feel more confident an happy
esp talking to a nice sexy guy an chatting |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"An affair is a romantic relationship with another person who isn't your partner.
"Just sex" could be literally just that, a one-off, but there's a middle area of friends having sex, without emotional relationship type attachment.
As with all kinds of sexual relationships, there's a myriad of circumstances and possibilities for those who are here without their partner too. To boil it down to one thing or another is naive. "
Totally this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"im seperated but still legally married my ex husband is on dateing sites.An its a lot different when you are seperated as im not with my husband any more. We lead seperate lifes, An we are ex s an live apart from one another an getting divorced, I just dont want a relationship an Nsa suits me at the mo an convienant
An i dont want a bf/ an enter into another relationship
Absolutely..but that's different..your both going your own separate ways and I wouldn't call that cheating or having an affair..that's just called moving on in my eyes. Darcy.x
Iam moving on an having a lot of fun an find im getting confidence since ive been on here, An i find it suits me an my situ, an ive moved on from my ex husband an loving single life im having a lot more fun
Brilliant..and that's how it should be..swinging seems to becoming alot more complicated than it needs to be..its almost like a lot of people are looking at it like a dating site lol. Darcy x
i dont see it as a dateing site i dont want the trappings of another relationship so nsa for me is the way to go.
An ive had some good social meets an some fun too an i get to feel confident wear nice lingerie an still keep my life as a singleton. Happy days
An now feel more confident an happy
esp talking to a nice sexy guy an chatting "
And that's how it should be . Darcy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm pretty sure the question wasn't 'is it cheating'. Everyone would agree that it is.
Cheating/affair..pretty much the same thing really. I was just intrigued as to what people thought as I've seen so many people in the past post that it's only sex or its just swinging..kinda wondered if that was the general way of thinking. Darcy x
Ah ok. Well I think most would agree it's all cheating, of which an affair is just one type of cheating. I think they are actually different things, because there can be cheating without being an affair. 'Affair' isn't actually a term I'd use for most arrangements on here.
Yes it seems I used the wrong choice of word lol..but affair and cheating means the same thing to me. However I personally think It's the person who is in the relationship that needs to worry about the 'partner' not the other 'swinger'..I mean for all we know loads could be secretly married lol. Darcy
I'd agree with that. There are other people who aren't comfortable with it though which is totally up to them, but for me it's the person in the relationship's decision to make and their responsibility. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Cheating and even worse than an affair. At least an affair usually comes from shared experiences and liking someone, to cheat in this way would be like saying that your spouse isn't good enough to even fuck. Affairs often happen by chance whereas he or she didn't join this site by chance. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Cheating fucking scumbags after all there only on here to empty there bunkers !!!! Not right have a wank instead !!!! I feel better now I've got that off my chest |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so I'm intrigued to hear people's opinions on members joining as singles but are actually married and on here without the spouse knowing...is it an affair? or is it different because it's a swingers site and not a dating site?. The topic of ' I've been chatting to a married member' seems to come up fairly often."
Other people's marriages are other people's marriages. My simplistic _iew is that I do not worry about it and consider that they are just here for a good fuck.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Personally i think there is a difference between cheating and an affair. Cheating is a physical act and an affair is emotional as well in my opinion.
A few months ago I found out that a 15 month relationship i had been in was an affair when his partner rang me up after finding my phone number.
I wouldn't wish that on anyone, so I avoid meeting married men as much as possible. xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Cheating fucking scumbags after all there only on here to empty there bunkers !!!! Not right have a wank instead !!!! I feel better now I've got that off my chest "
Hahaha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Personally i think there is a difference between cheating and an affair. Cheating is a physical act and an affair is emotional as well in my opinion.
A few months ago I found out that a 15 month relationship i had been in was an affair when his partner rang me up after finding my phone number.
I wouldn't wish that on anyone, so I avoid meeting married men as much as possible. xx"
Definitely a horrible feeling and that was awful for you and her..what a snake he was.
Personally it would be too much of a spider's web for me. It may only be a 'fuck' to the 'swingers', but to the partner they would quite possibly see it completely differently. Definitely each to their own, but we steer clear of single profiles that are attached. Darcy x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If my ex had enjoyed sex a bit more often I would never needed to have an affair ? But she did say it would have been easier to take if it wasn't emotional ? But it does seem a bit naive to come on a swingers site and not believe a lot of guys are playing about ? ( and some women ? ) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ok so I'm intrigued to hear people's opinions on members joining as singles but are actually married and on here without the spouse knowing...is it an affair? or is it different because it's a swingers site and not a dating site?. The topic of ' I've been chatting to a married member' seems to come up fairly often."
cheating/affair, wide birth no way x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"An affair carrys emotion
I believe that the majority of married people on here treat it as just a fuck and nothing more"
There is love. And there is sex. The two aren't the same. I can separate the two because of my circumstances.
BUT that does not mean I have no 'feelings' (double negative) for the people I meet - I wouldn't meet them if I didn't like them as people.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cheating. Full stop. Selfish . Do not give a jot about the hurt they cause. I've been there and it hurts . Trust me "
This cos deceit hurts someone cracks me when a married guy claims to be honest and genuine when he's playing away swinging is open cheating is not |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"An affair carrys emotion
I believe that the majority of married people on here treat it as just a fuck and nothing more
There is love. And there is sex. The two aren't the same. I can separate the two because of my circumstances.
BUT that does not mean I have no 'feelings' (double negative) for the people I meet - I wouldn't meet them if I didn't like them as people.
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I should add that the fallout would be just as devastating
I don't know if I'd be more pissed off that my marriage was compromised due to a random fuck that meant nothing or an affair that did
Its an odd one isn't it..I'm a massive thinker and I can't get my head around this one lol. Are we hypocrites saying it's cheating?, when in theory people could also say that we are cheating..but our argument could be, but we both consent to it. It's such a tricky debate :/"
But surely you both make/made the decision to have extra marital/relationship fun together so you both had the choice to say yes or no. By having an affair or Cheating on someone you take away that choice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
To me -
cheating is sex or intimacy without your partners knowledge.
An affair is intimacy, emotions and a deeper connection over a longer period of time.
I'm with someone but here as a single lady as I meet as a single - with his understand and knowledge. He also has my full blessing to meet others. Its very open. So I see that as open relationship
To me swinging is about doing it together, so at the moment, I am not really a swinger as I meet as a single for NSA... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"As above really.
Cheating = pure sex
affair = sex and emotions"
I have both and am married. It's a lifestyle that I wish I'd been living for the last 10 years.
I don't consider it cheating. My husband has broken our vows by failing on so many counts, me failing on one is nothing in comparison. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
