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By *oxes OP Man
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
I am Just wondering How I cold improve my first message to people on here.
I usually say but not Always
[title] Hay
Hey I just saw your profile and did no know weather I was your thing So I decided to message you. [insert line from their profile][say something else like distance or the time you visited that area]. If I am what you are looking for then I shall look forward to your reply.
regards JJ
Ok I admit I do not have a template but this is roughly hat I send to people I would like to meet. Can anyone give me some advice how I could improve it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well, a good start would be to pay attention go your spelling. A lot of people are really put off by poor spelling and grammar. Always good to refer to their profile, again that's a big irritant to some people, not taking any notice of it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You might want to proofread things before you send them. Capital letters in the wrong place, and words that mean other things.
Hay - Hey
No - Know
Weather - Whether |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's no such thing as the perfect first message. Us telling you how to write one would make the message a collection of our opinions and not your own.
Simply introduce yourself, tell them a bit about you. Tell them what caught your eye about their profile, show your personality and avoid overtly sexual undertones to your message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Send what ever you like as long as its not abusive lol and its a swinging site not a english grammer degree ffs no 1 cares abwt speling aslong as it can be understud |
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By *oxes OP Man
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
I always have a problem with spelling and grammar. So it is helpful when people spot my mistakes because I cannot see them myself regardless of the number of times I proofread. |
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"Send what ever you like as long as its not abusive lol and its a swinging site not a english grammer degree ffs no 1 cares abwt speling aslong as it can be understud"
Having seen many forum posts on the subject that is untrue. A lot of people do care about spelling on here x |
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"Well, a good start would be to pay attention go your spelling. A lot of people are really put off by poor spelling and grammar. Always good to refer to their profile, again that's a big irritant to some people, not taking any notice of it.
Hmm you made a spelling mistake ?  
Have I?"
"attention go your spelling" instead of "attention to your spelling" but it was clearly a keyboard slip rather than ignorance of correct spelling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mmmm...try a direct polite approach
Yo bitchlips...
To say you are hot would bore the fine tits off you, so how about we scrap the chit chat and just meet up so I can throw that ass of yours in air and watch it turn into sunshine...
P.s. if I'm not for you its fine I was told to never challenge poor judgement..x
Worth a pop...)))
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always have a problem with spelling and grammar. So it is helpful when people spot my mistakes because I cannot see them myself regardless of the number of times I proofread. "
Your profile reads well. I appreciate your spelling problem, spellchecker is helpful. Don't send cock shots with your message and I'm sure you will do fine here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I totally agree about spelling and grammar. A message apparently penned by Nigel Molesworth is unlikely to get you far. On the other hand, I'd look at least twice if any I received appeared to come from his counterparts at St Trinians. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does matter about grammar but keep it short as most tend to delete before reading, when you get a reply the stage is yours to impress .. only my opinion |
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By *oxes OP Man
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"Send what ever you like as long as its not abusive lol and its a swinging site not a english grammer degree ffs no 1 cares abwt speling aslong as it can be understud
Having seen many forum posts on the subject that is untrue. A lot of people do care about spelling on here x"
There was a recent Debate about online spelling on BBC Breakfast two journalists debating the issue One stated that of course you will be read, it's just that you might not be listened to. |
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I always read a profile first, if I don't like what I see in that, then I don't read the message. So ultimately, your first message can be a fantastic piece of literary genius, but if the profile says nothing, or the wrong _oxes are ticked, then it isn't going to get you anywhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tbh i think even if you spelt everything correct and used the finest of grammer it all depends on if that person wants to talk to you if they like what they see then they will reply.
Heres what to do social experiment use office for spell check write something up copy and paste use that same but put spelling mistakes in and see which one gets a reply |
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I don't have a general thing as a first message. If I'm sending a first message it's always unique to that person. I've contacted them because something has caught my attention. I talk about that and aske then a bit about themselves that they might not have put in their profile. It's about showing you are interested.
Women know when you're using the same message to lots of people and just swapping out specific details to suit them.
I'd also suggest reading what you write before sending it. Check spelling and grammar. Women want to feel like they are talking to someone that can hold a conversation and they know how to spell. Kids use text talk but this is an adult site. Be yourself.
I'm by no way always successful with a message as I'm not everyone's cup of tea but I always know I took time to be respectful and put a little effort into my messages so even if I never hear from them back I know it wasn't because I was disrespectful.
Good luck in the future with the messages and keep having fun. |
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Recently on another thread where the OP had asked for comments and advice on his first message, I was rebuked by another contributor to the thread for having commented on his profile, claiming that it is against site rules to comment on anybody's profile unless they have specifically requested such comment.
However, as you say, it is usually the profile that matters as much if not more than the first message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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your message is too formal. it reads a bit like a chat application rather than an invitation to chat.
not sure what you should put but make it a bit more chilled and fun, with something to start a conversation. there's no rush to message people, have a good look at their profile and think about them and what you think you'd like to chat about with them.
Hey is a bit immature (to me) but some people might like that? depends on what you're looking for i guess. |
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By *oxes OP Man
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"your message is too formal. it reads a bit like a chat application rather than an invitation to chat.
not sure what you should put but make it a bit more chilled and fun, with something to start a conversation. there's no rush to message people, have a good look at their profile and think about them and what you think you'd like to chat about with them.
Hey is a bit immature (to me) but some people might like that? depends on what you're looking for i guess. "
Cool thats good advice what would you put as the theme then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"your message is too formal. it reads a bit like a chat application rather than an invitation to chat.
not sure what you should put but make it a bit more chilled and fun, with something to start a conversation. there's no rush to message people, have a good look at their profile and think about them and what you think you'd like to chat about with them.
Hey is a bit immature (to me) but some people might like that? depends on what you're looking for i guess.
Cool thats good advice what would you put as the theme then? "
theme? as in hey?
younger people probably will be ok with that, a hi or hello will likely cover everyone, depends on what the person looks like and how their profile is? someone who comes across as mature on their profile will prefer a formal greeting like hello, someone fun will probably prefer a hi, someone immature will be ok with hey.
you gotta approach people like you would in real life really. people prefer different ways of communicating.
the ones you're gonna click with you'll click with naturally and because of this i wouldn't say you have to change anything really and should be yourself.
but i doubt people will like your first message to look like you're applying to chat with them, it's a bit unusual and doesn't come across as fun, relaxed or interesting. although it does come across as very polite and non-threatening. |
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