FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Actually, some men are ruining it for other guys on here.
Actually, some men are ruining it for other guys on here.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I asked for advice about replying nicely to people in my inbox, because i wanted to change my tact on here and fancied a change in how i used the site (hoping to improve my general social skills in advance of going to a club maybe).
Got loads of good advice, felt enthusiastic about doing what i wanted to do, trotted off to my inbox feeling good, happy and like 'i can do this'.
So had over 100 messages to deal with, still felt like i could cope and do what i wanted to do.
After about 40 shit messages, no pics sent in them or on the profile, boring hi, hey and nothing else, i actually couldn't even be arsed to reply to any of the decent messages i got. My enthusiasm had gone and i deleted them in a sulk.
So yep, i do agree now that some men are ruining it for the decent guys. Note i said decent guys, if your profile is shit and you send shit messages then you're still probably ruining it for yourself.
So there you go, a realisation. Wonder who else gets like this too?
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Why not delete the ones that are one word, one line, no pics, or otherwise don't fulfil your profile requests and save your efforts for the men who have made an effort with their message to you. That's what I do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pretty disheartened at the moment too. Not blaming the single guys but just not getting the spark from some on here at the moment.
Need an injection of awesomeness to come along.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I asked for advice about replying nicely to people in my inbox, because i wanted to change my tact on here and fancied a change in how i used the site (hoping to improve my general social skills in advance of going to a club maybe).
Got loads of good advice, felt enthusiastic about doing what i wanted to do, trotted off to my inbox feeling good, happy and like 'i can do this'.
So had over 100 messages to deal with, still felt like i could cope and do what i wanted to do.
After about 40 shit messages, no pics sent in them or on the profile, boring hi, hey and nothing else, i actually couldn't even be arsed to reply to any of the decent messages i got. My enthusiasm had gone and i deleted them in a sulk.
So yep, i do agree now that some men are ruining it for the decent guys. Note i said decent guys, if your profile is shit and you send shit messages then you're still probably ruining it for yourself.
So there you go, a realisation. Wonder who else gets like this too?
"
Yup I here you |
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OP makes good points. Maybe others will know but you'd hope there would be ways of filtering messages so that senders without pics are blocked? Perhaps admin might make that a possibility?
Not all guys are shit... but some are very naughty when you meet them..lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty disheartened at the moment too. Not blaming the single guys but just not getting the spark from some on here at the moment.
Need an injection of awesomeness to come along. "
Boom! You called? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not delete the ones that are one word, one line, no pics, or otherwise don't fulfil your profile requests and save your efforts for the men who have made an effort with their message to you. That's what I do."
this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not delete the ones that are one word, one line, no pics, or otherwise don't fulfil your profile requests and save your efforts for the men who have made an effort with their message to you. That's what I do."
That would be too sensible,and as we know good sense and fab rarely go hand in hand  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty disheartened at the moment too. Not blaming the single guys but just not getting the spark from some on here at the moment.
Need an injection of awesomeness to come along. "
I need to get over to MK asap...damn this body of water that needs to be crossed  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty disheartened at the moment too. Not blaming the single guys but just not getting the spark from some on here at the moment.
Need an injection of awesomeness to come along. "
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Why not delete the ones that are one word, one line, no pics, or otherwise don't fulfil your profile requests and save your efforts for the men who have made an effort with their message to you. That's what I do."
This
Or block all single men and go searching yourself, far less hassle and I find much more fun. 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On your profile it says you won't be replying to anybody. I saw your profile the other day and liked the look of you. I read the first line and immediately moved on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I recon its more down to fate than other peeps, it beats having an empty inbox for days, sometimes weeks lol.
I messaged you a few days ago! "
yes u did, forgot about that, cheers  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"I asked for advice about replying nicely to people in my inbox, because i wanted to change my tact on here and fancied a change in how i used the site (hoping to improve my general social skills in advance of going to a club maybe).
Got loads of good advice, felt enthusiastic about doing what i wanted to do, trotted off to my inbox feeling good, happy and like 'i can do this'.
So had over 100 messages to deal with, still felt like i could cope and do what i wanted to do.
After about 40 shit messages, no pics sent in them or on the profile, boring hi, hey and nothing else, i actually couldn't even be arsed to reply to any of the decent messages i got. My enthusiasm had gone and i deleted them in a sulk.
So yep, i do agree now that some men are ruining it for the decent guys. Note i said decent guys, if your profile is shit and you send shit messages then you're still probably ruining it for yourself.
So there you go, a realisation. Wonder who else gets like this too?
"
..... and here would be my answer to you.... if you know what you want and what you are after.... why are you waiting on people to come to you.....
go out there.... and be the hunter!
its all well and good complaining about all the mail you get, you have the oppotunity to use your filters and get the one to contact them... as opposed to them contacting you
i know my post isn't going to be popular...... the site gives people the tools
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Why not delete the ones that are one word, one line, no pics, or otherwise don't fulfil your profile requests and save your efforts for the men who have made an effort with their message to you. That's what I do.
That would be too sensible,and as we know good sense and fab rarely go hand in hand "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's so hard to maintain politeness on here. There are so many messages. Some rubbish. Some great. But I've come to realise its not humanly possible to reply to any but a few. The inefficiency of it galls me though! |
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"I recon its more down to fate than other peeps, it beats having an empty inbox for days, sometimes weeks lol.
I messaged you a few days ago! yes u did, forgot about that, cheers "
WTF?!?!?! For-fucking-got?!?!? That's the last one you get from me, you 6-packing 4-getful git!!!! |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"I asked for advice about replying nicely to people in my inbox, because i wanted to change my tact on here and fancied a change in how i used the site (hoping to improve my general social skills in advance of going to a club maybe).
Got loads of good advice, felt enthusiastic about doing what i wanted to do, trotted off to my inbox feeling good, happy and like 'i can do this'.
So had over 100 messages to deal with, still felt like i could cope and do what i wanted to do.
After about 40 shit messages, no pics sent in them or on the profile, boring hi, hey and nothing else, i actually couldn't even be arsed to reply to any of the decent messages i got. My enthusiasm had gone and i deleted them in a sulk.
So yep, i do agree now that some men are ruining it for the decent guys. Note i said decent guys, if your profile is shit and you send shit messages then you're still probably ruining it for yourself.
So there you go, a realisation. Wonder who else gets like this too?
..... and here would be my answer to you.... if you know what you want and what you are after.... why are you waiting on people to come to you.....
go out there.... and be the hunter!
its all well and good complaining about all the mail you get, you have the oppotunity to use your filters and get the one to contact them... as opposed to them contacting you
i know my post isn't going to be popular...... the site gives people the tools
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not delete the ones that are one word, one line, no pics, or otherwise don't fulfil your profile requests and save your efforts for the men who have made an effort with their message to you. That's what I do.this "
i tried to reply first but these guys are fast when i saw the post i thought not another moaner!
Shock horror its a woman!
Those guys who upset you have no respect for you the site couples or themselves and they do spoil the site. The guys who put the effort in get a bad deal and thats why some have been here a while but still not met anyone. Theres thousands of guys who never look at forums and get meets in spite of their obnoctious behaviour and lack of effort. Im starting to wonder if it wasnt for single women who have no intention of embrassing "swing" are hijacking the site by stealth! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've actually changed my mind on this recently. Since I changed my profile to say I'm not looking to meet anyone new, the number of messages has gone down massively. Maybe men do pay a little bit of attention to it after all.
And there's something to be said for the argument that a barrage of shit messages makes the one good one stand out more.
What the number of men does mean is that other men probably have to become a bit more thick skinned and not fear rejection, because I am more blunt and inclined to delete than I was when I first started on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why not delete the ones that are one word, one line, no pics, or otherwise don't fulfil your profile requests and save your efforts for the men who have made an effort with their message to you. That's what I do.
This
Or block all single men and go searching yourself, far less hassle and I find much more fun.
"
Would seem the sensible thing to do |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I asked for advice about replying nicely to people in my inbox, because i wanted to change my tact on here and fancied a change in how i used the site (hoping to improve my general social skills in advance of going to a club maybe).
Got loads of good advice, felt enthusiastic about doing what i wanted to do, trotted off to my inbox feeling good, happy and like 'i can do this'.
So had over 100 messages to deal with, still felt like i could cope and do what i wanted to do.
After about 40 shit messages, no pics sent in them or on the profile, boring hi, hey and nothing else, i actually couldn't even be arsed to reply to any of the decent messages i got. My enthusiasm had gone and i deleted them in a sulk.
So yep, i do agree now that some men are ruining it for the decent guys. Note i said decent guys, if your profile is shit and you send shit messages then you're still probably ruining it for yourself.
So there you go, a realisation. Wonder who else gets like this too?
..... and here would be my answer to you.... if you know what you want and what you are after.... why are you waiting on people to come to you.....
go out there.... and be the hunter!
its all well and good complaining about all the mail you get, you have the oppotunity to use your filters and get the one to contact them... as opposed to them contacting you
i know my post isn't going to be popular...... the site gives people the tools
"
If i go to a club people will approach me there so i just wanna figure out how to reject people. And i'm gonna go clubbing by myself so won't have mates to help me out. Am getting braver that's all, but it's new to me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why not delete the ones that are one word, one line, no pics, or otherwise don't fulfil your profile requests and save your efforts for the men who have made an effort with their message to you. That's what I do."
You can't tell if somethings one line until you open it and read it, they might have used paragraphs to make their message look better.
And sorry, by pics i means they had nothing other than a cock pic. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"On your profile it says you won't be replying to anybody. I saw your profile the other day and liked the look of you. I read the first line and immediately moved on.
"
Thanks for respecting that. I don't actually reply to many messages you're right, mostly because i get too many. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I asked for advice about replying nicely to people in my inbox, because i wanted to change my tact on here and fancied a change in how i used the site (hoping to improve my general social skills in advance of going to a club maybe).
Got loads of good advice, felt enthusiastic about doing what i wanted to do, trotted off to my inbox feeling good, happy and like 'i can do this'.
So had over 100 messages to deal with, still felt like i could cope and do what i wanted to do.
After about 40 shit messages, no pics sent in them or on the profile, boring hi, hey and nothing else, i actually couldn't even be arsed to reply to any of the decent messages i got. My enthusiasm had gone and i deleted them in a sulk.
So yep, i do agree now that some men are ruining it for the decent guys. Note i said decent guys, if your profile is shit and you send shit messages then you're still probably ruining it for yourself.
So there you go, a realisation. Wonder who else gets like this too?
..... and here would be my answer to you.... if you know what you want and what you are after.... why are you waiting on people to come to you.....
go out there.... and be the hunter!
its all well and good complaining about all the mail you get, you have the oppotunity to use your filters and get the one to contact them... as opposed to them contacting you
i know my post isn't going to be popular...... the site gives people the tools
If i go to a club people will approach me there so i just wanna figure out how to reject people. And i'm gonna go clubbing by myself so won't have mates to help me out. Am getting braver that's all, but it's new to me."
As zammo said In Grange hill.
Just say no!
Best of luck Anyways. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I recon its more down to fate than other peeps, it beats having an empty inbox for days, sometimes weeks lol.
I messaged you a few days ago! yes u did, forgot about that, cheers
WTF?!?!?! For-fucking-got?!?!? That's the last one you get from me, you 6-packing 4-getful git!!!! "
lol yes, will send you one as well |
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"Why not delete the ones that are one word, one line, no pics, or otherwise don't fulfil your profile requests and save your efforts for the men who have made an effort with their message to you. That's what I do.
This
Or block all single men and go searching yourself, far less hassle and I find much more fun.
Would seem the sensible thing to do "
I so agree with this and that is why I do not subscribe to the argument that some guys make it worse for others. In this case hunting for
the guys you want makes so much more sense and you don't have to deal with all the bullshit and pathetic pleadings of inappropriate guys.
It works. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the support. Seen a few replies with this.
Am gonna just do what i usually do when i feel disheartened and ignore my inbox completely, am sure i'll feel better soon and can cope with the horniness i'm dealing with right now.
Just wanted to confirm what some guys have suspected for a while, and can see other women seem to feel the same. I've even moaned about it before but only today did i realise that it is actually true (from my view anyway) that some guys are ruining it for others on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's easy to just click delete. Why is it bothering you so much and getting you down? You know what you're looking for and you know what you want - anything else just get shot of without a second thought.
Those that can't be bothered to put some effort in are filtering themselves out and so doing you a favour |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Goes both ways though - I'm often surprised by the level of messages from couples and females that aren't forum regulars.
Because they have a pussy they think that the rules go out the window.
However the difference is night and day when a message is sent via here   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's easy to just click delete. Why is it bothering you so much and getting you down? You know what you're looking for and you know what you want - anything else just get shot of without a second thought.
Those that can't be bothered to put some effort in are filtering themselves out and so doing you a favour "
Probably because i had better expectations that the reality?
Honestly have no idea what i'm looking for, do think i'm fucking too many people at once though and like too many people and feel stressed when they all wanna meet up at the same time.
Have changed my profile to i'm not meeting for now, and gonna have a think about what is actually best for me to do, rather than just do what i want. Got an idea where i want to head with my sex life and i don't think it's on the internet. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Why not delete the ones that are one word, one line, no pics, or otherwise don't fulfil your profile requests and save your efforts for the men who have made an effort with their message to you. That's what I do.
You can't tell if somethings one line until you open it and read it, they might have used paragraphs to make their message look better.
And sorry, by pics i means they had nothing other than a cock pic."
You can still delete it when you've opened it. There's no rules about mandatory replies once messages have been opened. I do, and that way you don't get the constant 'but whyyyyy' whinges. Bonus! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why not delete the ones that are one word, one line, no pics, or otherwise don't fulfil your profile requests and save your efforts for the men who have made an effort with their message to you. That's what I do.
You can't tell if somethings one line until you open it and read it, they might have used paragraphs to make their message look better.
And sorry, by pics i means they had nothing other than a cock pic.
You can still delete it when you've opened it. There's no rules about mandatory replies once messages have been opened. I do, and that way you don't get the constant 'but whyyyyy' whinges. Bonus!"
Hehe yeah the whingy messages are annoying. Thanks for making me laugh.
Yeah i did delete those messages, was intending to reply to the good ones though but after sifting through loads of poop messages i just lost enthusiasm. Really i should have just left them to reply to another time when i was feeling happier to engage with others via my inbox.
Think this topic is more half realisation and half apology for just deleting peoples efforts and not acknowledging them. But i do often ignore my inbox lately because i can't be bothered with it, will figure something out eventually- i always do.
Plus had people making new profiles and contacting me again after i block them (i met them both but told them not interested in meeting again, they're not accepting it). One guy i actually made the mistake of chatting to him, not realising i'd blocked him 3 times already, almost had a heart attack when he sent me his face pic and i saw who he was. Stuff like this makes me not wanna go in my inbox as well. Might make a new profile with no public pics? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Might make a new profile with no public pics?
That won't stop the messages at all.  . Filter men out and go looking for what you want."
I don't want anything right now but if i filter out everyone that is what i'll get.
I just turn off all the who i'm looking for? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mmmm..I'm not in the mood to have a go but what the hell...
OP...the number of people that use this site is incredible, so finding a match is quite hard, one advantage us single men have is we do indeed 'hunt' I've seen the rudiculou amount if mail women get and the amount of trash fro funny to obscene.. But most if the guys that message you will most likely cast a very wide net in hope of catching something so the message is probably never aimed at you more generic...
I rarely message...if I do it's because I've seen something I lime in a picture or in the profile which I will reference..
So..if there's nothing on TV...get up...get the remote and find a channel YOU want to watch, or sit back a see what rolls in.... |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Might make a new profile with no public pics?
That won't stop the messages at all. . Filter men out and go looking for what you want.
I don't want anything right now but if i filter out everyone that is what i'll get.
I just turn off all the who i'm looking for?"
That's what I do. I get very few messages anyway, but they reduce by miles when I unclick all the looking for options. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, I've sat down many a time with the intention of clearing my inbox properly. I've always said I will delete shadow avatars, one liners messages that kind of thing.
I get halfway through the list before I realise whilst being logged on i have received more.
The most effective way I have found is to hide profile for a few days and sort the messages out in bulk. Feels like another job at times! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Might make a new profile with no public pics?
That won't stop the messages at all. . Filter men out and go looking for what you want.
I don't want anything right now but if i filter out everyone that is what i'll get.
I just turn off all the who i'm looking for?
That's what I do. I get very few messages anyway, but they reduce by miles when I unclick all the looking for options."
Done. Also put on my profile that no-one can message me and i'm not meeting anyway.
Wish i drank, i'd be sitting back with a nice glass of wine now, chilling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP, I've sat down many a time with the intention of clearing my inbox properly. I've always said I will delete shadow avatars, one liners messages that kind of thing.
I get halfway through the list before I realise whilst being logged on i have received more.
The most effective way I have found is to hide profile for a few days and sort the messages out in bulk. Feels like another job at times! "
Shall I come round and help you prioritize...x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP, I've sat down many a time with the intention of clearing my inbox properly. I've always said I will delete shadow avatars, one liners messages that kind of thing.
I get halfway through the list before I realise whilst being logged on i have received more.
The most effective way I have found is to hide profile for a few days and sort the messages out in bulk. Feels like another job at times! "
I'm usually good at keeping on top of my inbox, can delete really fast as i'm chatting. Think it's just been a combination of a lot of things lately. It's getting sorted. Thanks.
Anyone advising me to look myself, i'm not bothering looking. |
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"Pretty disheartened at the moment too. Not blaming the single guys but just not getting the spark from some on here at the moment.
Need an injection of awesomeness to come along. "
Change your age range o r the more discerning 40 something  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty disheartened at the moment too. Not blaming the single guys but just not getting the spark from some on here at the moment.
Need an injection of awesomeness to come along.
Change your age range o r the more discerning 40 something "
Good idea 44 should do it? |
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"Pretty disheartened at the moment too. Not blaming the single guys but just not getting the spark from some on here at the moment.
Need an injection of awesomeness to come along.
Change your age range o r the more discerning 40 something
Good idea 44 should do it? "
Ahaha..
Think I just lost another leg x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty disheartened at the moment too. Not blaming the single guys but just not getting the spark from some on here at the moment.
Need an injection of awesomeness to come along.
Change your age range o r the more discerning 40 something
Good idea 44 should do it?
Ahaha..
Think I just lost another leg x "
Ha ha |
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"Pretty disheartened at the moment too. Not blaming the single guys but just not getting the spark from some on here at the moment.
Need an injection of awesomeness to come along.
Change your age range o r the more discerning 40 something
Good idea 44 should do it?
Ahaha..
Think I just lost another leg x
Ha ha "
Think i may point out the facility whereby the couple can message dirty filth to a si gle man of referred to age whilst keeping filters in place. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"I've actually changed my mind on this recently. Since I changed my profile to say I'm not looking to meet anyone new, the number of messages has gone down massively. Maybe men do pay a little bit of attention to it after all.
"
Hi,
Fancy a shag? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Pretty disheartened at the moment too. Not blaming the single guys but just not getting the spark from some on here at the moment.
Need an injection of awesomeness to come along.
Change your age range o r the more discerning 40 something
Good idea 44 should do it?
Ahaha..
Think I just lost another leg x
Ha ha
Think i may point out the facility whereby the couple can message dirty filth to a si gle man of referred to age whilst keeping filters in place. "
Cheers we use it quite often |
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"Pretty disheartened at the moment too. Not blaming the single guys but just not getting the spark from some on here at the moment.
Need an injection of awesomeness to come along.
Change your age range o r the more discerning 40 something
Good idea 44 should do it?
Ahaha..
Think I just lost another leg x
Ha ha
Think i may point out the facility whereby the couple can message dirty filth to a si gle man of referred to age whilst keeping filters in place.
Cheers we use it quite often "
Very good, and I might add the riding boots and whip do you great justice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Might make a new profile with no public pics?
That won't stop the messages at all. . Filter men out and go looking for what you want.
I don't want anything right now but if i filter out everyone that is what i'll get.
I just turn off all the who i'm looking for?
That's what I do. I get very few messages anyway, but they reduce by miles when I unclick all the looking for options.
Done. Also put on my profile that no-one can message me and i'm not meeting anyway.
Wish i drank, i'd be sitting back with a nice glass of wine now, chilling. "
We will have a drink for you.... Burp.... Oppsss sorry |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you know what?
100% of No fucker ruins it for me as I do my own shit on this site and make my own luck. Are you having any luck "
Nope!..
I'm a single male and "woe is me"..ain't ya heard?... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Might make a new profile with no public pics?
That won't stop the messages at all. . Filter men out and go looking for what you want.
I don't want anything right now but if i filter out everyone that is what i'll get.
I just turn off all the who i'm looking for?
That's what I do. I get very few messages anyway, but they reduce by miles when I unclick all the looking for options.
Done. Also put on my profile that no-one can message me and i'm not meeting anyway.
Wish i drank, i'd be sitting back with a nice glass of wine now, chilling.
We will have a drink for you.... Burp.... Oppsss sorry "
Haha thanks. Hope you enjoyed, i'm chill enough now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh gawd! Hope i don't fall in to that category. My messages always get deleted.
"
This. Messages become deleted due to not knowing what to say. Because the woman is neither whisked off her feet nor tied to the ceiling by the first message then she bins it. When it's hard to build rapport with the opening message. People need to change their expectations. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
""I've actually changed my mind on this recently. Since I changed my profile to say I'm not looking to meet anyone new, the number of messages has gone down massively. Maybe men do pay a little bit of attention to it after all.""
I agree most guys do. Have had some guys say they never know when to message me because i change my profile that often. And a lot of messages are pretty good and seem tailored to me specifically. Only had 15 message since i put i'm not meeting instead of the usual lots more.
It was just bad luck i got the idea to change my tact when i had so many rubbish ones that day.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh gawd! Hope i don't fall in to that category. My messages always get deleted.
This. Messages become deleted due to not knowing what to say. Because the woman is neither whisked off her feet nor tied to the ceiling by the first message then she bins it. When it's hard to build rapport with the opening message. People need to change their expectations. "
True that sometimes you don't know what to say. All you can say is hi back to a message like hi or hey.
It's not hard to chat with someone who sends a good message though. I like to chat to at least 3 guys at once, and can chat to up to 8 at once. Have plenty of guys i chat to regular on here, bet i deleted some of their messages as well by accident. |
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"..... and here would be my answer to you.... if you know what you want and what you are after.... why are you waiting on people to come to you.....
go out there.... and be the hunter!
its all well and good complaining about all the mail you get, you have the oppotunity to use your filters and get the one to contact them... as opposed to them contacting you
i know my post isn't going to be popular...... the site gives people the tools"
Yeah would have to agree not going to light but just as men argue it is hard for single men to meet, single women and couples complain that all the men are not what they want and are idiots.
Hey I admit I struggle with communicating with other on this site one because I not always the best socially (my personality defect I guess) and rubbish with a good first message and possible my profile but rather than complain it easier to just realise it will happen.
I think in no shape or format insult to the Op's point this ties into whole debate in a different way of single are an issue on fab which will probably be a topic long dicussed.
Ps. If any find grammar and spelling mistakes in this then there's another issue I have with messages. Rubbish at literacy haha.
Deem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I delete messages that are lazy like "fancy a fook" or "hi"
Any that its clear haven't got same interests like (swinging clubs) or read my profile
I don't apologise for it, if they are too lazy to take time to read profiles then a deleted message won't mean anything to them.
Yes I use filters and are a god send |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!
60% of the time it works everytime.
Like taking candy From a baby, giggity giggity.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!
60% of the time it works everytime.
Like taking candy From a baby, giggity giggity...."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Untick the 'looking for men' option and you'll be amazed how wonderfully quiet your inbox becomes.
Not much good if you're someone who craves the attention though.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Untick the 'looking for men' option and you'll be amazed how wonderfully quiet your inbox becomes.
Not much good if you're someone who craves the attention though.
"
It's all sorted, no-one has been able to message me for ages. This topic has moved onto other things.
I actually feel like going to sleep early and gonna leave the rest of my washing for the morning. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Does ANYBODY find a muppet show element here? ie: the two old guys? "
People calmed me down and gave me help, i also got stuff off my chest that was bothering me, but yeah it probably is a bit like that. 
At least i'm enjoying the site again and looking forward to my inbox tomorrow. |
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Completely disagree that any one type of member can ruin it for others. Its you who decided not reply to the decent messages, which is your choice of course, but harsh to pass that blame to others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I asked for advice about replying nicely to people in my inbox, because i wanted to change my tact on here and fancied a change in how i used the site (hoping to improve my general social skills in advance of going to a club maybe).
Got loads of good advice, felt enthusiastic about doing what i wanted to do, trotted off to my inbox feeling good, happy and like 'i can do this'.
So had over 100 messages to deal with, still felt like i could cope and do what i wanted to do.
After about 40 shit messages, no pics sent in them or on the profile, boring hi, hey and nothing else, i actually couldn't even be arsed to reply to any of the decent messages i got. My enthusiasm had gone and i deleted them in a sulk.
So yep, i do agree now that some men are ruining it for the decent guys. Note i said decent guys, if your profile is shit and you send shit messages then you're still probably ruining it for yourself.
So there you go, a realisation. Wonder who else gets like this too?
..... and here would be my answer to you.... if you know what you want and what you are after.... why are you waiting on people to come to you.....
go out there.... and be the hunter!
its all well and good complaining about all the mail you get, you have the oppotunity to use your filters and get the one to contact them... as opposed to them contacting you
i know my post isn't going to be popular...... the site gives people the tools
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does ANYBODY find a muppet show element here? ie: the two old guys?
People calmed me down and gave me help, i also got stuff off my chest that was bothering me, but yeah it probably is a bit like that.
At least i'm enjoying the site again and looking forward to my inbox tomorrow."
good to hear it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
They haven't ruined it for me. Just for themselves lol...... But you do realise that all the guys with shit profiles, who send shit messages with no pics or just cock shots......will now blame getting messages deleted on "the other guys" and will, therefore, not change or bugger off......? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I recently changed the first line of my profile to be extremely explicit.
So now when I get messages from guys that clearly have not even bothered to read the first line of my profile I politely suggest that they go back and have a read of the first line of my profile.
You should see the abusive messages that I get back. I mean, it's just crazy when they were the ones that weren't even considerate enough to read the *first line* of my profile. It's not like I buried that shit deep down at the bottom of my profile, I stuck it right up there at the top.
Unfortunately probably around 98% of the messages that I receive from men and couples don't bother to read my profile. It's hard not to get disheartened when that happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I recently changed the first line of my profile to be extremely explicit.
So now when I get messages from guys that clearly have not even bothered to read the first line of my profile I politely suggest that they go back and have a read of the first line of my profile.
You should see the abusive messages that I get back. I mean, it's just crazy when they were the ones that weren't even considerate enough to read the *first line* of my profile. It's not like I buried that shit deep down at the bottom of my profile, I stuck it right up there at the top.
Unfortunately probably around 98% of the messages that I receive from men and couples don't bother to read my profile. It's hard not to get disheartened when that happens."
Its the same here. |
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"Do you know what?
100% of No fucker ruins it for me as I do my own shit on this site and make my own luck. Are you having any luck
Nope!..
I'm a single male and "woe is me"..ain't ya heard?..."
Jesus... Another single male 
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Are women any better at sending an opening message? I'm quite verbose but I don't know the best way to approach every man on here. I've chatted to men who have said hello,fancy a chat. That'll do me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are women any better at sending an opening message? I'm quite verbose but I don't know the best way to approach every man on here. I've chatted to men who have said hello,fancy a chat. That'll do me."
I try to talk about something they've said on their profile. Anything other than 'have you had much sex recently?' I reckon is a winner. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"They haven't ruined it for me. Just for themselves lol...... But you do realise that all the guys with shit profiles, who send shit messages with no pics or just cock shots......will now blame getting messages deleted on "the other guys" and will, therefore, not change or bugger off......?"
They shouldn't. I did mention that i couldn't be bothered to reply to the decent messages and that guys sending crap messages it probably is still there own fault. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Are women any better at sending an opening message? I'm quite verbose but I don't know the best way to approach every man on here. I've chatted to men who have said hello,fancy a chat. That'll do me.
I try to talk about something they've said on their profile. Anything other than 'have you had much sex recently?' I reckon is a winner."
Same here. If there's anything there to start a conversation then it's easy to do. I'm very chatty and find conversation easy enough- once there's something to start one off.
I don't talk to everyone who i could start a conversation with but i know i did used to reply to them for their message coz it was a good one, think i used to say i was already chatting or something like that (has been ages since i bothered with my inbox proper now).
Had a look at your profile, coz of your other message, yeah it's pretty clear what you want on here, especially the first line. Too many not single guys on here, as well as bullshitters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Anything other than 'have you had much sex recently?' I reckon is a winner.
Trust me i have had msgs like this"
They always seem so disappointed when I say I have sex several times a day, most days. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Does ANYBODY find a muppet show element here? ie: the two old guys?
People calmed me down and gave me help, i also got stuff off my chest that was bothering me, but yeah it probably is a bit like that.
At least i'm enjoying the site again and looking forward to my inbox tomorrow.good to hear it "
Thanks. Already replied to one.
Just 15 more to go, and then start talking to my mates again. I'm lucky they're pretty patient (and let me whinge at them, but sometimes i gotta not rely on them for whinging and that's when the forum comes in handy). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Totally agree with this. I've been reasonably successful here because I'll write pertinent messages that relate specifically to the woman's profile but don't use the scatter-gun, cut and paste approach.
Having said that, the number of "what the fuck are you talking about" replies never ceases to amaze me and if there's no humour in early communication, I have to move on. this is supposed to be fun! |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"I recently changed the first line of my profile to be extremely explicit.
So now when I get messages from guys that clearly have not even bothered to read the first line of my profile I politely suggest that they go back and have a read of the first line of my profile.
You should see the abusive messages that I get back. I mean, it's just crazy when they were the ones that weren't even considerate enough to read the *first line* of my profile. It's not like I buried that shit deep down at the bottom of my profile, I stuck it right up there at the top.
Unfortunately probably around 98% of the messages that I receive from men and couples don't bother to read my profile. It's hard not to get disheartened when that happens."
Why would someone send you an abusive message for, this site is supposed to be empowering and fun. |
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"I recently changed the first line of my profile to be extremely explicit.
So now when I get messages from guys that clearly have not even bothered to read the first line of my profile I politely suggest that they go back and have a read of the first line of my profile.
You should see the abusive messages that I get back. I mean, it's just crazy when they were the ones that weren't even considerate enough to read the *first line* of my profile. It's not like I buried that shit deep down at the bottom of my profile, I stuck it right up there at the top.
Unfortunately probably around 98% of the messages that I receive from men and couples don't bother to read my profile. It's hard not to get disheartened when that happens.
Why would someone send you an abusive message for, this site is supposed to be empowering and fun. "
Largely because many men cannot take rejection and feel far from empowered...and don't really have much of a sense of fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I totally think there are a lot of fantasists on here such a shame but I seem to have a rather good detection but some males must get off on trying to empower them self's by putting women down if they don't get a reply. Frankly I don't care hit delete smile and move down the list |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"..... and here would be my answer to you.... if you know what you want and what you are after.... why are you waiting on people to come to you.....
go out there.... and be the hunter!
its all well and good complaining about all the mail you get, you have the oppotunity to use your filters and get the one to contact them... as opposed to them contacting you
i know my post isn't going to be popular...... the site gives people the tools
"
True I agree you should be using the site to make contact not wait for them to contact you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I recently changed the first line of my profile to be extremely explicit.
So now when I get messages from guys that clearly have not even bothered to read the first line of my profile I politely suggest that they go back and have a read of the first line of my profile.
You should see the abusive messages that I get back. I mean, it's just crazy when they were the ones that weren't even considerate enough to read the *first line* of my profile. It's not like I buried that shit deep down at the bottom of my profile, I stuck it right up there at the top.
Unfortunately probably around 98% of the messages that I receive from men and couples don't bother to read my profile. It's hard not to get disheartened when that happens.
Why would someone send you an abusive message for, this site is supposed to be empowering and fun.
Largely because many men cannot take rejection and feel far from empowered...and don't really have much of a sense of fun."
I also think some guys see us as prostitutes that don't charge any money, ad that we shouldn't have our own needs or wants, we should only be on here to satisfy them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are women any better at sending an opening message? I'm quite verbose but I don't know the best way to approach every man on here. I've chatted to men who have said hello,fancy a chat. That'll do me.
I try to talk about something they've said on their profile. Anything other than 'have you had much sex recently?' I reckon is a winner."
I usually write something,scrub it,write something else,scrub that and give up. I'm a flake |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I recently changed the first line of my profile to be extremely explicit.
So now when I get messages from guys that clearly have not even bothered to read the first line of my profile I politely suggest that they go back and have a read of the first line of my profile.
You should see the abusive messages that I get back. I mean, it's just crazy when they were the ones that weren't even considerate enough to read the *first line* of my profile. It's not like I buried that shit deep down at the bottom of my profile, I stuck it right up there at the top.
Unfortunately probably around 98% of the messages that I receive from men and couples don't bother to read my profile. It's hard not to get disheartened when that happens.
Why would someone send you an abusive message for, this site is supposed to be empowering and fun.
Largely because many men cannot take rejection and feel far from empowered...and don't really have much of a sense of fun.
I also think some guys see us as prostitutes that don't charge any money, ad that we shouldn't have our own needs or wants, we should only be on here to satisfy them."
thats sad sorry you feel that way but theres lots of guys who are willing to please ladies first some without wanting anything in return. So its down to choice again we cant all pick a winner all the time! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I totally think there are a lot of fantasists on here such a shame but I seem to have a rather good detection but some males must get off on trying to empower them self's by putting women down if they don't get a reply. Frankly I don't care hit delete smile and move down the list "
thats right loads of women are fantasists as well. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I recently changed the first line of my profile to be extremely explicit.
So now when I get messages from guys that clearly have not even bothered to read the first line of my profile I politely suggest that they go back and have a read of the first line of my profile.
You should see the abusive messages that I get back. I mean, it's just crazy when they were the ones that weren't even considerate enough to read the *first line* of my profile. It's not like I buried that shit deep down at the bottom of my profile, I stuck it right up there at the top.
Unfortunately probably around 98% of the messages that I receive from men and couples don't bother to read my profile. It's hard not to get disheartened when that happens.
Why would someone send you an abusive message for, this site is supposed to be empowering and fun.
Largely because many men cannot take rejection and feel far from empowered...and don't really have much of a sense of fun.
I also think some guys see us as prostitutes that don't charge any money, ad that we shouldn't have our own needs or wants, we should only be on here to satisfy them. thats sad
sorry you feel that way but theres lots of guys who are willing to please ladies first some without wanting anything in return. So its down to choice again we cant all pick a winner all the time!"
You can tell from their messages so i've never actually met anyone like that. But yeah they expect you to be available for sex or bjs when they want one.
And some people are into servicing them so it's ok to for them to think like this (if approaching them), but if someone has a profile that has specifications or requirements then i think they should respect that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Agree but then its back to who actually reads your profile "
Mine did kind of give off that vibe tbf.
I put when i was available, like i was some kind of service i suppose. But really i meant that's when i was up for meeting for mutual pleasure lol.
This is why i don't have any requirements on my page though, so that people can approach me as they want to and if i don't like their approach i can ignore them and won't meet them. I really wouldn't want anyone to approach me in a specific way with requirements because they'll just be fake and i think meeting someone fake will not give me the results i want from a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I recon its more down to fate than other peeps, it beats having an empty inbox for days, sometimes weeks lol.
I messaged you a few days ago! yes u did, forgot about that, cheers
WTF?!?!?! For-fucking-got?!?!? That's the last one you get from me, you 6-packing 4-getful git!!!! "
Theres gratitude for you! |
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