FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Yes for sex no to oral?
Yes for sex no to oral?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I just wonder why alot of people insist on safe sex yet they dont use a condom for oral sex? which is defeating the object of safe sex really? I dont know how a BJ would feel with a condom on(not good i assume) haha as i am the lady, but When we do play we are insisting on condoms and play safe! Being swingers you guys have been with alot of people!  what do people think about this? |
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It's an oft repeated statement and question in the forums.
There is risk from anything other than living in solitary confinement, but most people estimate degrees of risk, before they find partners. Just like leaving your home in the day carries some risk. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have had both with condoms and off on a bj, you don't feel anything when its on as she performs, without is the best feeling  "
i guess without is the best feeling but STDs can still be caught by having oral sex and as we are new and other people have been swinging a long time we just think the use of condoms would be best until we know people a bit better  |
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Jonas - sucking with a condom on isn't that great for the sucker either. I've done it and I can't really appreciate the full sensations of a cock's tone, its surface as well as its sensations.
Cock sucking is a science and an art form. There is a zen of cock sucking, where I can be so immersed in the experience of connecting with a guy, perceiving his every bodily reaction, via both seeing him as well as feeling how his cock is responding. That is largely lost if a cock is covered, so I don't seek to do it that way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's an oft repeated statement and question in the forums.
There is risk from anything other than living in solitary confinement, but most people estimate degrees of risk, before they find partners. Just like leaving your home in the day carries some risk. "
I would rather my sofa be stolen than catch a STD hahah!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Jonas - sucking with a condom on isn't that great for the sucker either. I've done it and I can't really appreciate the full sensations of a cock's tone, its surface as well as its sensations.
Cock sucking is a science and an art form. There is a zen of cock sucking, where I can be so immersed in the experience of connecting with a guy, perceiving his every bodily reaction, via both seeing him as well as feeling how his cock is responding. That is largely lost if a cock is covered, so I don't seek to do it that way."
I enjoy sucking T's cock and love how it feels and know he is enjoying it to, but i know we are both clean, whereas at a club there are people there who have slept with hundreds of people i assume and as we dont know them properly i would use a condom. i just see that as sensible. |
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"I have had both with condoms and off on a bj, you don't feel anything when its on as she performs, without is the best feeling
i guess without is the best feeling but STDs can still be caught by having oral sex and as we are new and other people have been swinging a long time we just think the use of condoms would be best until we know people a bit better "
I can understand your perspective. Even if you know someone, such as one's long term partner, wife, husband etc, then you may know what they've told you, but only an hiv test would show their status, up to date for the previous 3 months or so, depending on the type of test.
Oral sex and hiv seems to be much lower potentially for infection. Some experts have argued that infection is unlikely this way, and the more sensible thing is to not have oral sex if there are bleeding gums or cuts etc on the sex organs as well as to choose partners wisely and to test regularly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jonas - sucking with a condom on isn't that great for the sucker either. I've done it and I can't really appreciate the full sensations of a cock's tone, its surface as well as its sensations.
Cock sucking is a science and an art form. There is a zen of cock sucking, where I can be so immersed in the experience of connecting with a guy, perceiving his every bodily reaction, via both seeing him as well as feeling how his cock is responding. That is largely lost if a cock is covered, so I don't seek to do it that way."
That's right a you miss all the sensations of the cock a you suck it and plus hving it in the mouth from soft to erect and plus feeling the cock veins getting bigger as well, not srue if you can feel the orgasm come either with a condom on. |
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It's right that we each determine our own rules, and not be intimidated by anyone else. For some a 0.000000000000000001% chance would be too much, whereas for others, if there's a much higher risk they'll have a lottery win and a road accident the same week than catch something, they'd perhaps go for the latter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had both with condoms and off on a bj, you don't feel anything when its on as she performs, without is the best feeling
i guess without is the best feeling but STDs can still be caught by having oral sex and as we are new and other people have been swinging a long time we just think the use of condoms would be best until we know people a bit better YEs that's right, mind you no one ever thinks you can get STd's from licking a pussey, its the same risk both ways 
Yess we do! we have discussed this also as i would like to go with a woman but its the same risk as sucking a cock without protection "
It's technically less risky I believe, however you can use dental dams. Or condoms cut in half. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's right that we each determine our own rules, and not be intimidated by anyone else. For some a 0.000000000000000001% chance would be too much, whereas for others, if there's a much higher risk they'll have a lottery win and a road accident the same week than catch something, they'd perhaps go for the latter."
Clearly we have different veiws and thats great as we just wanted to know what people thought but for now we will be using condoms unless we know the people are 100% clean. and also reguarding the wife/husband comment, me and T both know we are 100% clean as we were both tested before we slept together. And since then neither have been with anyone else so the last time we checked we were both clean! |
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Btw youngandsexy888, the husband/wife scenario I talked about wasn't directed at yourselves. There are some people who cheat and there partners aren't aware that they're meeting others, which adds an extra level of issues.
I've gone from being really tight about what I did and now prefer to have longer term partners, rather than more of them, and you obviously get to know people better and manage risks differently to just random hook ups in the clubs. |
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There is also advice about not performing oral shortly after teeth brushing or flossing. Those may be abrasive to your mouth, so increase potential. Stomach acid etc should kill anything when it enters your stomach, but better to spit rather than swallow, from that perspective. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you want to get pedantic about it, getting it in your eyes is more dangerous than bb in anyway x"
who is this comment aimed at? i dont understand what you are saying? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I choose to risk having unprotected oral sex with my sexual partners and get tested every three months instead. Not caught anything yet!  "
That is great you get tested regularly and you haven't caught anything either
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you want to get pedantic about it, getting it in your eyes is more dangerous than bb in anyway x
who is this comment aimed at? i dont understand what you are saying?"
At anyone that didn't already know that the eyes is the quickest way for anything to enter the body .
We have to make our own risk assessments in this and every aspect of our daily lives.
If using a condom for oral is for you then just make it clear to people and don't let anyone make you feel bad for your choices
For us it wouldn't be something we would do... But we are not you x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Oh when we start playing with other people we will be regularly tested. This post was just for a discussion to see what people thought. Thanks for your input |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I choose to risk having unprotected oral sex with my sexual partners and get tested every three months instead. Not caught anything yet! "
Same here 
I get tested like clockwork whether I have played or not, it's for my peace of mind |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well some people have gave a reply that is adding to the discussion others I feel are just being arsey about it. We are not going to get into an argument but some people comment on forums for a reaction and we see it on different forums all the time. That's all x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well some people have gave a reply that is adding to the discussion others I feel are just being arsey about it. We are not going to get into an argument but some people comment on forums for a reaction and we see it on different forums all the time. That's all x"
Not seen anyone being arsey.....till I looked at your profile. You also see a lot of people on forums who spit the dummy if someone doesn't agree with them. That's all. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If by that u are suggesting we are spitting our dummy out. We are not. Have you commented on the actual post? I don't think you have so there is nothing more to say really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wondered about this too prior to a threesome.... But a quick google showed the statistics regarding various practices...
Big big statistical difference in risk between oral and penetrative sex. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wondered about this too prior to a threesome.... But a quick google showed the statistics regarding various practices...
Big big statistical difference in risk between oral and penetrative sex."
Great that we are not the only people who wondered about it! We have also read there is less risk.. i guess you just have to choose who u play with carefully  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had both with condoms and off on a bj, you don't feel anything when its on as she performs, without is the best feeling
i guess without is the best feeling but STDs can still be caught by having oral sex and as we are new and other people have been swinging a long time we just think the use of condoms would be best until we know people a bit better "
Your safety is up to you. If you feel safer using condoms for oral, then just insist that they are used or no fun.
Skyn condoms are pretty good for oral. Latex free so they don't taste too bad and they are thin enough to allow the sensation through.
As for 'getting to know people better' that's as effective as trying to judge who's likely to have an sti from the way someone looks. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"I just wonder why alot of people insist on safe sex yet they dont use a condom for oral sex? which is defeating the object of safe sex really? I dont know how a BJ would feel with a condom on(not good i assume) haha as i am the lady, but When we do play we are insisting on condoms and play safe! Being swingers you guys have been with alot of people! what do people think about this?"
You are absolutely correct (and no, this is not a tongue in cheek remark; and no pun is intended)
A virus does not much care whether it can enter the bloodstream through a tear in the vagina or through a tear in ones' mouth
Infact, it doesn't much care if it travels through bleeding cuticles from a man's (or woman's) fingers into a cut in the vagina |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had both with condoms and off on a bj, you don't feel anything when its on as she performs, without is the best feeling
i guess without is the best feeling but STDs can still be caught by having oral sex and as we are new and other people have been swinging a long time we just think the use of condoms would be best until we know people a bit better YEs that's right, mind you no one ever thinks you can get STd's from licking a pussey, its the same risk both ways
Yess we do! we have discussed this also as i would like to go with a woman but its the same risk as sucking a cock without protection
It's technically less risky I believe, however you can use dental dams. Or condoms cut in half."
YEs good point |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have had both with condoms and off on a bj, you don't feel anything when its on as she performs, without is the best feeling
i guess without is the best feeling but STDs can still be caught by having oral sex and as we are new and other people have been swinging a long time we just think the use of condoms would be best until we know people a bit better
Your safety is up to you. If you feel safer using condoms for oral, then just insist that they are used or no fun.
Skyn condoms are pretty good for oral. Latex free so they don't taste too bad and they are thin enough to allow the sensation through.
As for 'getting to know people better' that's as effective as trying to judge who's likely to have an sti from the way someone looks. "
Thanks for your advice maybe we will get some of them condoms and also we agree with the comment about getting to know people better, maybe if we have regular playmates then we can all be tested and know that we are all clean x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Thanks for your advice maybe we will get some of them condoms and also we agree with the comment about getting to know people better, maybe if we have regular playmates then we can all be tested and know that we are all clean x"
This sounds great in theory but in reality are you really going to know someone is actually clean.
They could be tested in the Monday but have had a bb session on the Sunday so would still show up clear and a few weeks, months later have a positive test...
This is what people mean when saying never trust others with your sexual health x
Whatever you do, do what your happy with.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If by that u are suggesting we are spitting our dummy out. We are not. Have you commented on the actual post? I don't think you have so there is nothing more to say really. "
Yes, I was. Why post a status like that otherwise.
I think it's very wise to protect yourself and applaud you for doing so but did you really have to make it sound like other swingers were the great unwashed? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If by that u are suggesting we are spitting our dummy out. We are not. Have you commented on the actual post? I don't think you have so there is nothing more to say really.
Yes, I was. Why post a status like that otherwise.
I think it's very wise to protect yourself and applaud you for doing so but did you really have to make it sound like other swingers were the great unwashed? "
I did not make it sound like that at all. I have nothing more to say to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If by that u are suggesting we are spitting our dummy out. We are not. Have you commented on the actual post? I don't think you have so there is nothing more to say really.
Yes, I was. Why post a status like that otherwise.
I think it's very wise to protect yourself and applaud you for doing so but did you really have to make it sound like other swingers were the great unwashed?
I did not make it sound like that at all. I have nothing more to say to you."
I could quote your comments but frankly can't be bothered.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that you have to implement whatever boundaries and safety precautions that you and your partner feel comfortable with. Otherwise you will not feel comfortable and probably won't enjoy the experience. What others do is up to them, that's none of my business. But I always play by my own rules. |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"I wondered about this too prior to a threesome.... But a quick google showed the statistics regarding various practices...
Big big statistical difference in risk between oral and penetrative sex."
Yes but remember that one chance of catching any STI may be the only time you have sex either with or without a condom.
Statistical analysis is not real life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I almost choke on that thing at the end of the condom if giving bjs with one on. 
Main reason i use them for intercourse sex and not oral is because i am using them as contraception. Condoms don't really protect you from diseases, apart from those passed on in cum, and even then they can split or leak. I'm also informed on sexually transmitted infections, and keep up to date with medical healthcare issues.
Better off to just look out for obvious signs of disease and refuse to fuck those guys. And get checked up for your own sake, most diseases are treatable or manageable, even AIDS has a better life prognosis than diabetes. That's how good medical care is now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I almost choke on that thing at the end of the condom if giving bjs with one on.
Main reason i use them for intercourse sex and not oral is because i am using them as contraception. Condoms don't really protect you from diseases, apart from those passed on in cum, and even then they can split or leak. I'm also informed on sexually transmitted infections, and keep up to date with medical healthcare issues.
Better off to just look out for obvious signs of disease and refuse to fuck those guys. And get checked up for your own sake, most diseases are treatable or manageable, even AIDS has a better life prognosis than diabetes. That's how good medical care is now."
Certain diabetes can be controlled by diet alone, with no need for medication and with few adverse effects, if any. Not so sure AIDS can be avoided by reducing carbs in your diet, but could be wrong... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I almost choke on that thing at the end of the condom if giving bjs with one on.
Main reason i use them for intercourse sex and not oral is because i am using them as contraception. Condoms don't really protect you from diseases, apart from those passed on in cum, and even then they can split or leak. I'm also informed on sexually transmitted infections, and keep up to date with medical healthcare issues.
Better off to just look out for obvious signs of disease and refuse to fuck those guys. And get checked up for your own sake, most diseases are treatable or manageable, even AIDS has a better life prognosis than diabetes. That's how good medical care is now.
Certain diabetes can be controlled by diet alone, with no need for medication and with few adverse effects, if any. Not so sure AIDS can be avoided by reducing carbs in your diet, but could be wrong... "
Just saying it's not the end of the world if you did get it. Although i'd prefer not to obviously.
And the medical world says diabetes is more likely to cause adverse effects than AIDS does. Including premature death. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wondered about this too prior to a threesome.... But a quick google showed the statistics regarding various practices...
Big big statistical difference in risk between oral and penetrative sex.
Yes but remember that one chance of catching any STI may be the only time you have sex either with or without a condom.
Statistical analysis is not real life."
Veryyyy wise words!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I almost choke on that thing at the end of the condom if giving bjs with one on.
Main reason i use them for intercourse sex and not oral is because i am using them as contraception. Condoms don't really protect you from diseases, apart from those passed on in cum, and even then they can split or leak. I'm also informed on sexually transmitted infections, and keep up to date with medical healthcare issues.
Better off to just look out for obvious signs of disease and refuse to fuck those guys. And get checked up for your own sake, most diseases are treatable or manageable, even AIDS has a better life prognosis than diabetes. That's how good medical care is now.
Certain diabetes can be controlled by diet alone, with no need for medication and with few adverse effects, if any. Not so sure AIDS can be avoided by reducing carbs in your diet, but could be wrong...
Just saying it's not the end of the world if you did get it. Although i'd prefer not to obviously.
And the medical world says diabetes is more likely to cause adverse effects than AIDS does. Including premature death."
No it doesn't, type 2 diabetes is in the main very controllable if you follow the appropriate regime, whether through diet or diet and medication.
I am pretty sure Aids will have a larger more negative effect on a sufferers life in general. |
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