FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > social first before fun
social first before fun
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What are peoples thoughts on meeting socially before playing. Not ruling out playing straight after the social. Is this something you would do or do you think its a bad idea for some reason. We dont think it is, quite the opposite To turn up at a strangers house with the obligation of playing on the basis of a few pictures ( the best ones you have usually ) seems mechanical as you have already committed to playing regardless. What if they are fuckwits? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never met a fuckwit yet and I never have a social. It depends on how you approach a meet I guess. My time is limited. I only meet when I'm sure about someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always social so can see if there's a connection but ok to play if all goes well. Best to make sure who you are meeting know this then avoids misunderstanding |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always meet publicly first, I'm a single women and I do not turn up at men's homes or hotel rooms for a first meet
I dont do purely social meets though
My preferred way to meet is in a public place like a bar, have a drink and chat and find a hotel room if we get home, go home if not
If I meet someone and we dont play first meet chances are we will never meet again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never met a fuckwit yet and I never have a social. It depends on how you approach a meet I guess. My time is limited. I only meet when I'm sure about someone."
  |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I don't have masses of free time. Normally if I meet someone it's pretty certain I know them well enough by that point to not need the social only meet. I have always spent time with someone in a public place before locking myself away with them in a hotel room or bedroom, but that has always been a logistical rather than conscious decision. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm beginning to think I'm a better judge of people than most on here...."
I dont give out my number, I never talk on the phone before a meet, I dont think you can get a real feel for someone by font, so I prefer to meet for a drink first
I would have thought if you have had several phone chats you can get a better feel of someone but I prefer to do it my way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm beginning to think I'm a better judge of people than most on here....
Why do you think that Scarlet?"
Because of the amount of people who say they have met people who were nothing like they thought, how they have had lucky escapes after meeting for a social etc etc I can honestly say I've never felt the need to meet someone socially first. I haven't been wrong yet in 4 years. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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with regards to people being prssed for time and hance not wanting to social. How does the time spent on a social compare to the time spent messaging for long enough to get to know somebody. We have very little free time and hence dont like to sit in front of a computer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm beginning to think I'm a better judge of people than most on here....
I dont give out my number, I never talk on the phone before a meet, I dont think you can get a real feel for someone by font, so I prefer to meet for a drink first
I would have thought if you have had several phone chats you can get a better feel of someone but I prefer to do it my way "
Im not knocking the way others do it...it was just an observation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We prefer to arrange a 'social' meet to begin with. We never rule out playing on that meet, but we also never guarantee it!! Even when we've looked for a meet short notice because we suddenly have a free night, and we invite people to ours, we always make it clear there is no guarantee of play but if we all click then we'd be happy to.
Its not just the fact that we might not get on with or fancy the person, but we would feel under alot of pressure if we had guaranteed play and that might ruin the atmosphere - we like things to happen a little more spontaneously and organically.
Its really down to what makes you feel comfortable xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't make arrangements to play. I have a social first and if it moves on from there either at the end of the social, or another time, then great.
I normally chat to people on kik or something similar first. Works for me and that's what fab is about, it's for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"with regards to people being prssed for time and hance not wanting to social. How does the time spent on a social compare to the time spent messaging for long enough to get to know somebody. We have very little free time and hence dont like to sit in front of a computer."
I use my phone...messaging here and there is much easier than me taking an evening out to meet someone...most of the guys I meet are in london...about 2 hours away. Logistically that doesn't work just for a quick chat and a coffee |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A wise choice would be to meet socially and in a safe environment. However. The lifestyle we all seek has an element of thrill to it, the not knowing is part of the build up. Two sides to every discussion. Just a little food for thought. |
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"I'm beginning to think I'm a better judge of people than most on here....
Why do you think that Scarlet?
Because of the amount of people who say they have met people who were nothing like they thought, how they have had lucky escapes after meeting for a social etc etc I can honestly say I've never felt the need to meet someone socially first. I haven't been wrong yet in 4 years."
I see. Then by that reasoning you are a better judge of character than most the rest of us have to use the strategies available to us  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always meet socially first unless distance is involved & then I'll combine the two but would have spent time building up a rapport off here.
Even then, I always make it clear if I don't fancy you when we meet in the real world it ain't going to happen.
So far so good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm beginning to think I'm a better judge of people than most on here....
Why do you think that Scarlet?
Because of the amount of people who say they have met people who were nothing like they thought, how they have had lucky escapes after meeting for a social etc etc I can honestly say I've never felt the need to meet someone socially first. I haven't been wrong yet in 4 years.
I see. Then by that reasoning you are a better judge of character than most the rest of us have to use the strategies available to us "
Hence my comment |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"with regards to people being prssed for time and hance not wanting to social. How does the time spent on a social compare to the time spent messaging for long enough to get to know somebody. We have very little free time and hence dont like to sit in front of a computer."
Because messaging takes place in small increments of time and can be done anywhere. I don't always meet people who live near me and travelling to meet them for a purely social meet when I already know if I want to meet them then I want to 'meet' seems a waste of a free evening to me. I like to keep my Fab and other life separate and socials seem like a blurring of the lines for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A wise choice would be to meet socially and in a safe environment. However. The lifestyle we all seek has an element of thrill to it, the not knowing is part of the build up. Two sides to every discussion. Just a little food for thought."
I never comprises my safety for a thrill two things I never do is turn up to a strangers home\hotel room or have a guy pick me up, I wouldn't get into the car of a guy who pulled up at the side of me and offered me a lift, I'm not getting in the car of a stranger I have just met off here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A wise choice would be to meet socially and in a safe environment. However. The lifestyle we all seek has an element of thrill to it, the not knowing is part of the build up. Two sides to every discussion. Just a little food for thought."
So you are prepared to make your excuses and leave or ask the other party/ies to leave if its in your house. |
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"A wise choice would be to meet socially and in a safe environment. However. The lifestyle we all seek has an element of thrill to it, the not knowing is part of the build up. Two sides to every discussion. Just a little food for thought.
So you are prepared to make your excuses and leave or ask the other party/ies to leave if its in your house."
I think it stands to reason that at some point you are going to have to tell someone you don't want to take things any further whether you meet socially first or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm beginning to think I'm a better judge of people than most on here...."
I've met couples socially where one was driving the whole thing and the other was only along for the ride. Such a dynamic is difficult to pick up via messages only, but so obvious when face to face. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"with regards to people being prssed for time and hance not wanting to social. How does the time spent on a social compare to the time spent messaging for long enough to get to know somebody. We have very little free time and hence dont like to sit in front of a computer.
Because messaging takes place in small increments of time and can be done anywhere. I don't always meet people who live near me and travelling to meet them for a purely social meet when I already know if I want to meet them then I want to 'meet' seems a waste of a free evening to me. I like to keep my Fab and other life separate and socials seem like a blurring of the lines for me."
Some folks don't always check their phone frequently. I think the distinction i can see is. Singles message frequently and perhaps have busier social lives ruling out socials. Couples have busy lives and dont use their phones as much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never met a fuckwit yet and I never have a social. It depends on how you approach a meet I guess. My time is limited. I only meet when I'm sure about someone."
Same here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me its straight down to the shagging at my place or hers, even some outdoor fun, if its warm weather "
or not as indicated by you lack of verifications |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've never met a fuckwit yet and I never have a social. It depends on how you approach a meet I guess. My time is limited. I only meet when I'm sure about someone.
Same here "
Did they all play with you, or did some have to leave urgently because of unexpected emergencies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"with regards to people being prssed for time and hance not wanting to social. How does the time spent on a social compare to the time spent messaging for long enough to get to know somebody. We have very little free time and hence dont like to sit in front of a computer."
We don't spend ages on a computer or our phones . We answer messages from folk who look good and have a nice personality , meet them , play and go . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never met a fuckwit yet and I never have a social. It depends on how you approach a meet I guess. My time is limited. I only meet when I'm sure about someone.
Same here
Did they all play with you, or did some have to leave urgently because of unexpected emergencies"
Never had anyone leave for an emergency yet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"with regards to people being prssed for time and hance not wanting to social. How does the time spent on a social compare to the time spent messaging for long enough to get to know somebody. We have very little free time and hence dont like to sit in front of a computer.
Because messaging takes place in small increments of time and can be done anywhere. I don't always meet people who live near me and travelling to meet them for a purely social meet when I already know if I want to meet them then I want to 'meet' seems a waste of a free evening to me. I like to keep my Fab and other life separate and socials seem like a blurring of the lines for me.
Some folks don't always check their phone frequently. I think the distinction i can see is. Singles message frequently and perhaps have busier social lives ruling out socials. Couples have busy lives and dont use their phones as much."
I'm a happily married woman so there goes that theory! |
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
We chat with people we like the look of on here and then if we are all happy we arrange a meet. We might just be lucky but every one has been successful and we have had lots of fun. If I wasn't sure I liked someone I wouldn't arrange anything......  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me its straight down to the shagging at my place or hers, even some outdoor fun, if its warm weather
or not as indicated by you lack of verifications"
How do you know? Many and me do meet and don't do veris, just saying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Some folks don't always check their phone frequently. I think the distinction i can see is. Singles message frequently and perhaps have busier social lives ruling out socials. Couples have busy lives and dont use their phones as much."
Oh yes..because couples are soooo much more busier than us singletons who have no lives. ..
Aye makes sense  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"with regards to people being prssed for time and hance not wanting to social. How does the time spent on a social compare to the time spent messaging for long enough to get to know somebody. We have very little free time and hence dont like to sit in front of a computer.
Because messaging takes place in small increments of time and can be done anywhere. I don't always meet people who live near me and travelling to meet them for a purely social meet when I already know if I want to meet them then I want to 'meet' seems a waste of a free evening to me. I like to keep my Fab and other life separate and socials seem like a blurring of the lines for me.
Some folks don't always check their phone frequently. I think the distinction i can see is. Singles message frequently and perhaps have busier social lives ruling out socials. Couples have busy lives and dont use their phones as much. I'm a happily married woman so there goes that theory!"
Irs a theory, one case does not disprove it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think its a problem at all. There's something very exciting about meeting someone for a social and assuming the spark is there the planning and anticipation of the next tryst! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Some folks don't always check their phone frequently. I think the distinction i can see is. Singles message frequently and perhaps have busier social lives ruling out socials. Couples have busy lives and dont use their phones as much.
Oh yes..because couples are soooo much more busier than us singletons who have no lives. ..
Aye makes sense "
Couples generally have family commitments. Sinlges have social lives. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me its straight down to the shagging at my place or hers, even some outdoor fun, if its warm weather
or not as indicated by you lack of verificationsHow do you know? Many and me do meet and don't do veris, just saying "
Thay rules out meeting people who like verified peopl of course. Obviously the living dangerously crowd |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Some folks don't always check their phone frequently. I think the distinction i can see is. Singles message frequently and perhaps have busier social lives ruling out socials. Couples have busy lives and dont use their phones as much.
Oh yes..because couples are soooo much more busier than us singletons who have no lives. ..
Aye makes sense
Couples generally have family commitments. Sinlges have social lives."
all of which mean that you can't check your phone now and then, I guess? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" or not as indicated by you lack of verifications. How do you know? Many and me do meet and don't do veris, just saying "
Can smell the desperation from here....
Find it hard to believe as a single bloke you haven't had one single verification from your 'many' meets LOL!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" or not as indicated by you lack of verifications. How do you know? Many and me do meet and don't do veris, just saying
Can smell the desperation from here....
Find it hard to believe as a single bloke you haven't had one single verification from your 'many' meets LOL!! "
yawn zzzzzzzz |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Some folks don't always check their phone frequently. I think the distinction i can see is. Singles message frequently and perhaps have busier social lives ruling out socials. Couples have busy lives and dont use their phones as much.
Oh yes..because couples are soooo much more busier than us singletons who have no lives. ..
Aye makes sense
Couples generally have family commitments. Sinlges have social lives. all of which mean that you can't check your phone now and then, I guess?"
Social lives are fast moving, familiy life is steadier. The likely hood of unexpected meesages is more likely in the more social group, hence they are likely to check/use their phone more often. Our phones are usualy in a different room, left in the car, in the locker, have no charge etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Couples generally have family commitments. Sinlges have social lives."
I do not believe for 1 second that impedes your ability to check a fucking phone.
Seriously? .... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Couples generally have family commitments. Sinlges have social lives.
I do not believe for 1 second that impedes your ability to check a fucking phone.
Seriously? ...."
Ben, I grew up without a mobile phone, its not an appendage, its a device for calling people on. Your presuming we have smart phones also, one of us doesn't as we dont see the need. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Couples generally have family commitments. Sinlges have social lives.
I do not believe for 1 second that impedes your ability to check a fucking phone.
Seriously? ...."
Agree with you Sir.
I'm single, have kids, work and still have time to meet... oh and check my phone!. Jeeze some people. State your personal opinion but don't speak for others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Couples generally have family commitments. Sinlges have social lives."
What a load of tosh, I'm a single mum working two jobs, I have family commitment and very little social life |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Couples generally have family commitments. Sinlges have social lives.
I do not believe for 1 second that impedes your ability to check a fucking phone.
Seriously? ....
Agree with you Sir.
I'm single, have kids, work and still have time to meet... oh and check my phone!. Jeeze some people. State your personal opinion but don't speak for others. "
Its just a theory, somepeople dont evene have mobiles. I check my phone when I get a text / get called.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Couples generally have family commitments. Sinlges have social lives.
What a load of tosh, I'm a single mum working two jobs, I have family commitment and very little social life"
YEs and I wasn't supriced it came from a couple who said it to singles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Couples generally have family commitments. Sinlges have social lives.
I do not believe for 1 second that impedes your ability to check a fucking phone.
Seriously? ....
Agree with you Sir.
I'm single, have kids, work and still have time to meet... oh and check my phone!. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Socials it is then.."
Not really sure if or what the problem is on this thread .
Some like a social first , others don't .
Some spend hours arranging on their phones , others don't .
But surely if everyone is happy it doesn't really matter ?
We sometimes put a meet up for a couple of hours , answer the ones we like and meet them to play .
Other times we just put on our status we are out and about now , and again meet the ones we like for fun and games of a sexual nature .
The only thing we don't do is socials .
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Couples generally have family commitments. Sinlges have social lives.
What a load of tosh, I'm a single mum working two jobs, I have family commitment and very little social life"
SOrry meant singles as in Singles without children. Generalising hugely.Again its a theory. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't do many socials as we find if we click when messaging then should be fine when we meet plus we would already see what they look like with the pictures . But that's just us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" or not as indicated by you lack of verifications. How do you know? Many and me do meet and don't do veris, just saying
Can smell the desperation from here....
Find it hard to believe as a single bloke you haven't had one single verification from your 'many' meets LOL!! yawn zzzzzzzz"
Have I hit a nerve??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" or not as indicated by you lack of verifications. How do you know? Many and me do meet and don't do veris, just saying
Can smell the desperation from here....
Find it hard to believe as a single bloke you haven't had one single verification from your 'many' meets LOL!! yawn zzzzzzzz
Have I hit a nerve?? "
No but if you read the rules before your post looooooool. |
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