FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why Do I Bother?
Why Do I Bother?
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By *eknown OP Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
I don't wish to come across as a moaning mini, though I guess I am but I constantly ask myself why I bother being on this site.
I've been on Fab for 18 months now and browsed hundreds of attractive and interesting MF couples and single females profiles which I have contacted over this period, but with the exception of 7 people I've received no response at all from the rest!! Of those 7 one was a meet in my early days on this site which is my verification. 3 have had the courtesy to say "thanks, but no thanks". The the other 3 a reply has been received which I've then responded but then its gone down dead end. Only 1 couple have initiated a contact but that too has lead no where.
I try to come across as genuine, friendly with a little bit about myself. I always read the profiles thoroughly and when contacting anyone pick up on interests and likes that are similar to mine. I have tried different approaches including longer introductions, though not too lengthy, if only to show I'm interested and keen and I have always been polite and respectful. Also briefer messages but not one liners though generally I have found on the small handful of responses I've received they tend to be one liners themselves.
I note that a lot of profiles complain about "timewasters" and about members who make arrangements to meet, and then don't turn up! It would be lovely just to have some contact with MF and F's let alone the opportunity to meet. Let me assure everyone, I am genuine and if I arrange a meet, even if its a social then I will be there... but I don't seem to stand a chance.
Even on the odd occasion my profile gets looked at, no one follows up with a message of interest. I have looked at my profile and revamped from time to time including changing my photos.
I know people always say that there are far more single males on this site so it isn't straight forward but then I look at verifications that a lot of males have and see they have dozens. How do these guys manage to do it and I can't?
Also there profiles aren't particularly inspiring either but they seem to be having lots of fun.
Perhaps someone can answer this... when is the best time to contact and be in with a chance of a respond... ie do I send a message when they're online to improve my chances of a reply back? Though I've done that too with the same lack of response!
Anyway, sorry to go on and rant now over but I would welcome any constructive advice or tips....
Disillusioned! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I'm sorry to hear your having such a rough time.
Your pictures are not the most amazing (few too many cock shots for me) but you have a nice body and your profile is quite well written.
The only thing I can suggest is that you join in on the forums, make friends and get noticed that way, good luck OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I'm sorry to hear your having such a rough time.
Your pictures are not the most amazing (few too many cock shots for me) but you have a nice body and your profile is quite well written.
The only thing I can suggest is that you join in on the forums, make friends and get noticed that way, good luck OP "
This  and socials maybe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As said above, stick with the forums, when I first started using them the strangest things happened, people began winking, sending me messages and viewing my profile, weird huh?
I feel accepted  And so will you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well you have updated your profile a lot since your last help me post which is a positive . But have you tried to attend any socials ? Can't see any evidence that you have out your name down for any. There are so many that you can go to in your area .
It really isn't hard to get meets if you go the right way about things . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Keep your chin up mate , I had another meet cancelled today an hour before so it's not just you and you won't be the last. Just gotta keep trying in case you message the right person and they respond then it'll all be worth it |
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The simple truth, and this applies to all the "Why can't I get a meet" brigade, is if you are unsuccessful in attracting women when you are not on the internet, then you are highly unlikely to be successful on it.
The usual advice of attending clubs and socials is all well and good but if you have the personality of a squid then you'll strike out at those places too.
Don't always take heed of the people who tell you to just be yourself, for some this can be the worse thing to do.
I hope I've been of use... |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
the thing about the site is that it gives you all the tools to make it work..... use all of those, some of those, or none of those...
thats on you!.....
avenues are there..... if like others have suggested if you care to do so...
again... thats on you!
those same options have been there for the last 18 months, so ask yourself why did you not bother to use any of them?
again.... thats on you!
the site and profiles is one big jigsaw..... and no one part of the site is the be all and end all to peoples swinging experiences..... |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"you have to remember the 1st rule of swinging... The lady is in charge!!."
I don't agree. I've been turned down by guys on here. Everyone has as much right as anyone else to say no.
The only extra power women have on here is that which others give them. |
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By *arlock69Man
over a year ago
Batley... (near Leeds) |
"you have to remember the 1st rule of swinging... The lady is in charge!!.
I don't agree. I've been turned down by guys on here. Everyone has as much right as anyone else to say no.
The only extra power women have on here is that which others give them."
Aren't you in charge of who you meet then?...  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
Aren't you in charge of who you meet then?... "
I am in charge of who i meet as much as anyone...
Couples/ Single women have to impress me just as much as I have to impress then....
if you want to defer to the "women in charge" schtick.... you do that...
I am as much an equal as anyone |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"you have to remember the 1st rule of swinging... The lady is in charge!!.
I don't agree. I've been turned down by guys on here. Everyone has as much right as anyone else to say no.
The only extra power women have on here is that which others give them.
Aren't you in charge of who you meet then?... "
Aren't you? That's more the question. Or do you let the women on here decide everything for you? |
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By *eknown OP Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Well you have updated your profile a lot since your last help me post which is a positive . But have you tried to attend any socials ? Can't see any evidence that you have out your name down for any. There are so many that you can go to in your area .
It really isn't hard to get meets if you go the right way about things . "
Thanks for the socials tip... which ones would you recommend? I do go to a few clubs and again I mostly fail to trouble the scorers. Couple of occasions the evening wasn't well supported by any ladies! |
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By *arlock69Man
over a year ago
Batley... (near Leeds) |
"you have to remember the 1st rule of swinging... The lady is in charge!!.
I don't agree. I've been turned down by guys on here. Everyone has as much right as anyone else to say no.
The only extra power women have on here is that which others give them.
Aren't you in charge of who you meet then?...
Aren't you? That's more the question. Or do you let the women on here decide everything for you?"
I respect the women I do meet but at the end of the day it doesn't matter how charming and witty and amazing in bed I am it is up to the woman if she wants to meet me |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"you have to remember the 1st rule of swinging... The lady is in charge!!.
I don't agree. I've been turned down by guys on here. Everyone has as much right as anyone else to say no.
The only extra power women have on here is that which others give them.
Aren't you in charge of who you meet then?...
Aren't you? That's more the question. Or do you let the women on here decide everything for you?
I respect the women I do meet but at the end of the day it doesn't matter how charming and witty and amazing in bed I am it is up to the woman if she wants to meet me"
And equally it's up to you if you want to meet her.
You have as much control over whether a meet happens as the woman does.
Even if you'd be willing to meet absolutely any woman who expressed an interest, (and I doubt you would), you still have the power to say no.
This "women are in charge" thing is nonsense.
Guys have said 'no thanks' to me so clearly I don't have all the control when it comes to whom I meet. |
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By *eknown OP Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Well I'm sorry to hear your having such a rough time.
Your pictures are not the most amazing (few too many cock shots for me) but you have a nice body and your profile is quite well written.
The only thing I can suggest is that you join in on the forums, make friends and get noticed that way, good luck OP
This and socials maybe"
Thanks for socials tip... any you would recommend? |
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By *arlock69Man
over a year ago
Batley... (near Leeds) |
"you have to remember the 1st rule of swinging... The lady is in charge!!.
I don't agree. I've been turned down by guys on here. Everyone has as much right as anyone else to say no.
The only extra power women have on here is that which others give them.
Aren't you in charge of who you meet then?...
Aren't you? That's more the question. Or do you let the women on here decide everything for you?
I respect the women I do meet but at the end of the day it doesn't matter how charming and witty and amazing in bed I am it is up to the woman if she wants to meet me
And equally it's up to you if you want to meet her.
You have as much control over whether a meet happens as the woman does.
Even if you'd be willing to meet absolutely any woman who expressed an interest, (and I doubt you would), you still have the power to say no.
This "women are in charge" thing is nonsense.
Guys have said 'no thanks' to me so clearly I don't have all the control when it comes to whom I meet."
So you would meet me then? |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"you have to remember the 1st rule of swinging... The lady is in charge!!.
I don't agree. I've been turned down by guys on here. Everyone has as much right as anyone else to say no.
The only extra power women have on here is that which others give them.
Aren't you in charge of who you meet then?...
Aren't you? That's more the question. Or do you let the women on here decide everything for you?
I respect the women I do meet but at the end of the day it doesn't matter how charming and witty and amazing in bed I am it is up to the woman if she wants to meet me
And equally it's up to you if you want to meet her.
You have as much control over whether a meet happens as the woman does.
Even if you'd be willing to meet absolutely any woman who expressed an interest, (and I doubt you would), you still have the power to say no.
This "women are in charge" thing is nonsense.
Guys have said 'no thanks' to me so clearly I don't have all the control when it comes to whom I meet.
So you would meet me then?"
You're not getting this, are you?
I can say no. You can say no. Equal power. |
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By *arlock69Man
over a year ago
Batley... (near Leeds) |
"you have to remember the 1st rule of swinging... The lady is in charge!!.
I don't agree. I've been turned down by guys on here. Everyone has as much right as anyone else to say no.
The only extra power women have on here is that which others give them.
Aren't you in charge of who you meet then?...
Aren't you? That's more the question. Or do you let the women on here decide everything for you?
I respect the women I do meet but at the end of the day it doesn't matter how charming and witty and amazing in bed I am it is up to the woman if she wants to meet me
And equally it's up to you if you want to meet her.
You have as much control over whether a meet happens as the woman does.
Even if you'd be willing to meet absolutely any woman who expressed an interest, (and I doubt you would), you still have the power to say no.
This "women are in charge" thing is nonsense.
Guys have said 'no thanks' to me so clearly I don't have all the control when it comes to whom I meet.
So you would meet me then?
You're not getting this, are you?
I can say no. You can say no. Equal power."
Oh I know I can say no... But you look pretty sexy from your pics so I'd rather say yes  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"you have to remember the 1st rule of swinging... The lady is in charge!!.
I don't agree. I've been turned down by guys on here. Everyone has as much right as anyone else to say no.
The only extra power women have on here is that which others give them.
Aren't you in charge of who you meet then?...
Aren't you? That's more the question. Or do you let the women on here decide everything for you?
I respect the women I do meet but at the end of the day it doesn't matter how charming and witty and amazing in bed I am it is up to the woman if she wants to meet me
And equally it's up to you if you want to meet her.
You have as much control over whether a meet happens as the woman does.
Even if you'd be willing to meet absolutely any woman who expressed an interest, (and I doubt you would), you still have the power to say no.
This "women are in charge" thing is nonsense.
Guys have said 'no thanks' to me so clearly I don't have all the control when it comes to whom I meet.
So you would meet me then?
You're not getting this, are you?
I can say no. You can say no. Equal power.
Oh I know I can say no... But you look pretty sexy from your pics so I'd rather say yes "
I'd rather the guys who turned me down had said yes. They didn't, which proves that the woman does not have all the power in swinging, as you claim. |
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By *eknown OP Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Thank you everyone that tried to offer positive advise to my earlier post. So this afternoon I tried to get involved in the various chat rooms and forums. However, on the forums no one who was previously adding their thoughts to the subject matter, commented on any of my posts and no one new joined in either.
Almost felt that people seem to sense I'm lurking so they disappear completely... uncannily similar to people who when online, I have tried to make a connection and hopefully garner a response, but guess what... in the time that I've taken to carefully compose my message they've then logged off and gone. Fed up!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sometimes swinging isnt fun a bit like waiting for a bus u wait and sometimes 3 come along at once
personally you have had some great advice here OP
get to some club socials get in chat and have some fun
i know adventures in stoke is a big social on friday for an example |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you everyone that tried to offer positive advise to my earlier post. So this afternoon I tried to get involved in the various chat rooms and forums. However, on the forums no one who was previously adding their thoughts to the subject matter, commented on any of my posts and no one new joined in either.
Almost felt that people seem to sense I'm lurking so they disappear completely... uncannily similar to people who when online, I have tried to make a connection and hopefully garner a response, but guess what... in the time that I've taken to carefully compose my message they've then logged off and gone. Fed up!"
Don't make Fab your whole existence! People aren't looking at the threads and saying "OMG he's posted, I'm off". Sometimes threads just dry up, and it depends on the time of day. People have lives other than fab!
Just be patient! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of people become disillusioned and more become just plain delusional on fab, it can have strange effects on the way you think and actually see people, I think the main thing to remember is people all have lives, tiny little full featured lives that they and their loved ones feature heavily in and fab is just a little spin off, it's easy to see people as characters on here that will fuck at the drop of a hat and a lot of men can get really nasty if they're spurned because they're talking to a photo, an image they've created in their head and they take the rejection totally to heart... it's like a sexual allotment..you have to plant the seed...and let it grow, if it doesn't come to fruition you can either give up or plant another, eventually something as you know comes along and shines for a bit..,
I can see why some people might get frustrated but just see it as a drop in centre for the sexually greedy, make some friends, swap some stories, have a giggle and have some filthy hot fun now again.
Enjoy |
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