FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > coffee
coffee
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" if we all feel comfortable playing we play, if one person doesn't feel comfortable we don't play" Same here We turn up hoping, but not expecting, that fun will occur but even if 1 of 4 not in agreement then it shouldn't and won't happen | |||
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"Are we talking coffee meet on. A swinging site or coffee meet on a vanilla dating site If i were a single bloke my expectation between the two may be different" Coffee meet on a swing site ie here. I always say if there is a chance that a coffee meet could turn into more,so making it clear. But if arranging to meet just for a coffee as that is all I am wanting to do that day then I say it is meeting for coffee. I know the difference but guess unless it is "just for coffee" and make it clear at that point then guess thats better. I have met people for just a coffee and then arranged another time to meet for fun,but have always said its coffee,really now wondering if guys listen to that word coffee and assume/expect more,even tho I havent hinted at any more. | |||
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"Ok when you have arranged to meet for a coffee before arranging a meet with a person do they actually think if the coffee goes ok then maybe we will take it back to hers for sex? Or do the guys think it is a coffee and unless she says well maybe after..... or see how coffee goes and then after... Just curious how men read it. I know I read it coffee equals coffee/or tea of course lol. Guys....honestly, what do you read it as. If I am meeting someone for a drink/coffee or whatever and indicate(by verbalising) that see what happens after the coffee then maybe we can go back to mine..... then fair enough. The offer is clearly a possibility. But do men see it very different?" I thought the old "Coffee" line was blatantly obvious...its code for.. "You fa-koff-ee" lol | |||
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"we all know that coffee now meens actually coffee. the new code is "would you like to come and see my snow globe collection"" water globes....and there's nothing wrong with them, except they are harder than gold dust to collect! | |||
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 and sex not all that)
So when we meet, are we going back to yours? (lunchtime during work  )
Loads of compliments given making me puff me chest out but i know why they are saying it
Can you accommodate????
Think i need to get myself a tad stronger  | |||
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"Unfortunately from what I can gather, the average male on here selects key words and reads what he wants to read. Like not reading a profile fully. Coffee is coffee. Coffee and maybe... is exactly that (including the possibility of biscuits to dunk as well if it all goes well)! " Exactly that, coffee isnt coffee for some of those ive arranged to meet | |||
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"That would depend on what kind of text I send! "  | |||
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"Are we talking coffee meet on a swinging site or coffee meet on a vanilla dating site If i were a single bloke my expectation between the two may be different" "Meet for coffee" is "meet for coffee", regardless of what kind of site people meet through. Anybody who thinks that "meet for coffee" really means "meet for sex" is hindering the whole lifestyle of swinging. If we ever get to a stage when adults cannot arrange to meet strangers for coffee, without one or more of them feeling pressured into sex, then we will have come to a very sorry state of the world. | |||
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"Turn up for coffee, with no expectations but a slight background hope. I've had plenty of social meets that went no further, and have never been disappointed. " and I am sure that none of them were disappointed either | |||
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" Does anyone "take Tea" or is that a different thread?" tea 2 sugars and milk pls | |||
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"Ok when you have arranged to meet for a coffee before arranging a meet with a person do they actually think if the coffee goes ok then maybe we will take it back to hers for sex? Or do the guys think it is a coffee and unless she says well maybe after..... or see how coffee goes and then after... Just curious how men read it. I know I read it coffee equals coffee/or tea of course lol. Guys....honestly, what do you read it as. If I am meeting someone for a drink/coffee or whatever and indicate(by verbalising) that see what happens after the coffee then maybe we can go back to mine..... then fair enough. The offer is clearly a possibility. But do men see it very different?" Here is my thoughts, If offered a meet for coffee / drink then I NEVER EXPECT any more however if we click and hit it off famously then I would have no objection to doing more BUT I wouldn't push a tiny thing it would have to be a mutual agreement. This might read as very corny and sorry but it's the only way I look at it. I treat a first meet exactly the same as I would treat a "first date" polite respectful and easy going every time. | |||
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"Rex marry me lol xx" Book the registry office I have the first and second week in november off work lol lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxx | |||
"Turn up for coffee, with no expectations but a slight background hope. I've had plenty of social meets that went no further, and have never been disappointed. " Phew!! | |||
"Turn up for coffee, with no expectations but a slight background hope. I've had plenty of social meets that went no further, and have never been disappointed. Phew!! "Which part gets the "phew"? | |||
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"If I arrange to meet for coffee I most always arrange it for during my lunch hour. That way it's a dead cert that after 50 mins I've d*unk my Costa & I'm out of there! If its a hit he'll get a text as I head back to work telling him, if it's a miss the text usually says 'Thanks for a lovely time, take care & have fun' Clear enough?!!" Same here: no ambiguity about what to expect and never had a problem! | |||
"Are we talking coffee meet on a swinging site or coffee meet on a vanilla dating site If i were a single bloke my expectation between the two may be different "Meet for coffee" is "meet for coffee", regardless of what kind of site people meet through. Anybody who thinks that "meet for coffee" really means "meet for sex" is hindering the whole lifestyle of swinging. If we ever get to a stage when adults cannot arrange to meet strangers for coffee, without one or more of them feeling pressured into sex, then we will have come to a very sorry state of the world." I agree with you, but reading this thread it appears both sexes are ambiguous at times when they say "meet for coffee". | |||
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"If its a hit he'll get a text as I head back to work telling him, if it's a miss the text usually says 'Thanks for a lovely time, take care & have fun' Clear enough?!!" So that's what that means! What's wrong saying it face to face or in a phone call? I thought it was only men who could be impersonal! Hehe note to self - turn off phone after a coffee bury head in sand change number | |||
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"Are we talking coffee meet on a swinging site or coffee meet on a vanilla dating site If i were a single bloke my expectation between the two may be different "Meet for coffee" is "meet for coffee", regardless of what kind of site people meet through. Anybody who thinks that "meet for coffee" really means "meet for sex" is hindering the whole lifestyle of swinging. If we ever get to a stage when adults cannot arrange to meet strangers for coffee, without one or more of them feeling pressured into sex, then we will have come to a very sorry state of the world. I agree with you, but reading this thread it appears both sexes are ambiguous at times when they say "meet for coffee". "It definitely is ambiguous, if for example, i meet a guy for an evening drink and neither of us can accommodate, it is only a social drink, if i meet someone that has a hotel booked and both of us fancy it, we will go back to his. Its the guy that books a hotel in advance with the "well ive got a meeting in Tewkesbury so its easier this way" and you know he's booked it because he thinks and hopes the social drink will be more, thats the ones that really wont get another meet. It makes me feel obligated as theyve spent a lot of money (even £20 is a lot to me at this moment in time)and the last one wasnt all that
On the otherhand if one meets someone at lunchtime, there is no chance of playing at all so i think, they are probably the best to go for.
Incidentally i did meet 2 guys this week that were quite happy for it just to be a social drink and i got no questions like "so do you fancy it?" or "shall we book a room" or "i want to make love to you"  what a bloody refreshing change | |||
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"Are we talking coffee meet on a swinging site or coffee meet on a vanilla dating site If i were a single bloke my expectation between the two may be different "Meet for coffee" is "meet for coffee", regardless of what kind of site people meet through. Anybody who thinks that "meet for coffee" really means "meet for sex" is hindering the whole lifestyle of swinging. If we ever get to a stage when adults cannot arrange to meet strangers for coffee, without one or more of them feeling pressured into sex, then we will have come to a very sorry state of the world. I agree with you, but reading this thread it appears both sexes are ambiguous at times when they say "meet for coffee".
It definitely is ambiguous, if for example, i meet a guy for an evening drink and neither of us can accommodate, it is only a social drink, if i meet someone that has a hotel booked and both of us fancy it, we will go back to his. Its the guy that books a hotel in advance with the "well ive got a meeting in Tewkesbury so its easier this way" and you know he's booked it because he thinks and hopes the social drink will be more, thats the ones that really wont get another meet. It makes me feel obligated as theyve spent a lot of money (even £20 is a lot to me at this moment in time)and the last one wasnt all that
On the otherhand if one meets someone at lunchtime, there is no chance of playing at all so i think, they are probably the best to go for.
Incidentally i did meet 2 guys this week that were quite happy for it just to be a social drink and i got no questions like "so do you fancy it?" or "shall we book a room" or "i want to make love to you" what a bloody refreshing change "I can honestly say I've never felt obligated to sleep with someone because they've bought me a vodka and slimline, and they've had to top up their Oyster card to travel to meet me!!
I set the ground rules prior to meeting - there is absolutely no ambiguiouty on my or potential meets part that it will be anything more than a social meet.
No one has ever tried to pursuade me back to a hotel or a car park, but they wouldn't as they know from the get go - (a) I don't do hotels...ever, and (b) no playing on the first meet...ever!!! Many have asked if I could stay longer and sometimes I have, but not once has anyone tried to pursuade me to play with them there and then.
I understand that not everyone will do things the way I do, but I do find it rather alarming that grown women on a sex site feel intimidated to sleep with someone just because they've booked a room in the local Travel Lodge..wow!!! | |||
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"A coffee should be nothing more unless it's a skinny latte lol For my 2p if I ask someone for coffee or lunch then that's all it should be. I want to see them. I want to see if we click. If we don't then at least we've had a nice coffee/chat or meal & a chat. If we click & we click well sure we can have a 'play' but I don't have any expectations & hopefully the person I'm meeting doesn't either that way we can't let each other down Take me as you find me! Have me if I like you Keep me if you trap me hehehe! "i think thats why i like a social meet 1st | |||
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" Coffee and chocolate muffin means bum sex Fizzy Lemonade means water sports. " *Noted!* | |||
"when we were younger "would you like to come back to my place for coffee" usually meant "let's fuck!" we have many happy memories of "going back for coffee" but not having any coffee! "when i was young and pulled someone that what it meant that coffee at mine ( sex) | |||
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"We don't arrange to "meet for coffee" but every meet we arrange is clearly stated as being on a "no strings" basis, if we all feel comfortable playing we play, if one person doesn't feel comfortable we don't play, sometimes we meet up at a later date and play then. " I agree here. I don't meet people for social drinks or coffees as that's not what I'm here for. I can prove I'm genuine and am happy to see if I click by talking to people on the phone etc. but I'm not here to build a social network of friends - just friends within this niche interest that obviously have other benefits lol. | |||
