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What have you used to get off while masturbating
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok apart from your hand sex toys what have you used to get your rocks off
One I trird poly bag between pillow and mattress hump away no mess worked ok
Any more out there men women couples ???
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Strangest thing; one of those novelty rubber chickens with a hole where its backside was, I assume so you could display the ridiculous thing in a larger variety of places.
I was entertaining a girl and the silly thing was lying around the flat I had at the time. And no I didn't buy it, someone got it for me as a "joke" present that said 'because everyone needs one.' Okay....
Anyway, said girl picked it up and looked at it curiously and I noticed she had a gleam in her eyes... Then from out of nowhere she said "I know its weird...but would you fuck this for me?" After my immediate reaction of disbelief, followed by hilarity I actually saw that she was serious and that acting out her suggestion would give her pleasure...
So I unbuckled my belt, and pulled down my jeans and boxers and sat down upon my couch, surprised to see despite the comedy of the situation I was already hard? But then the look of anticipation and mischief on her cute face was so enticing...
There was a problem however.The round hole in the chicken was only just over an inch in diameter and though made of rubber it was thicker at the base and needed quite a bit of stretching...however my companion was most insistent and fetched some oil from the bathroom. After anointing my prong with it extremely liberally I held the novelty gift steady by its legs and with only a bit of pain forced my glistening head inside... Her eyes lit up. I gradually pushed harder and my firm shaft began to slide inch by inch inside the tight rubber orifice... fortunately the body of the item was entirely hollow, so once in all the way I began to fuck the ludicrous item in earnest, the oily rubber I squeezed against my prick feeling surprisingly delicious...and making a rapid squelching noise due to the baby oil as I carried on with my strange abuse...
Then my enthralled companion removed her own jeans, slipped her hand into her pink knicks and began to masturbate as she watched which made me enjoy my weird act even more! She only did this for a short while before rushing to the couch, removing her panties and saying "Give me this," pulling the rubber chicken firmly from my proud cock which was red from base to tip with the amount of squeezing it had had.
She then grinned wickedly and spread her legs to reveal she was absolutely drenched. She put the head of the novelty chicken to her pussy and I remembered that the head and neck were made of firm solid rubber a second before she fed it into her....
Then it was her turn to fuck it, and she did so with gusto, her fingers digging into the rubber hsrd as she drove it rapidly in and out, sighing with pleasure to boot! I couldn't keep from returning my hand to my cock, the fact that the object she was using to fuck herself was so off the wall and odd made it strangely more obscene and basely horny?
So I beat off to her wicked game like a man posessed, till I couldn't take any more. I pulled the rubber neck and head from her beautiful slit and pounced, drilling my urgent root inside her to balls and giving her it hard and fast, rutting like animals in heat....
When she came upon me and I in her we both agreed they had been some of the most hard intense orgasms we had experienced...
Funny thing is I can't even remember who bought me the bloody thing now as it was given to me on a birthday piss up. But it turned out not to be such a useless present after all...  |
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"Strangest thing; one of those novelty rubber chickens with a hole where its backside was, I assume so you could display the ridiculous thing in a larger variety of places.
I was entertaining a girl and the silly thing was lying around the flat I had at the time. And no I didn't buy it, someone got it for me as a "joke" present that said 'because everyone needs one.' Okay....
Anyway, said girl picked it up and looked at it curiously and I noticed she had a gleam in her eyes... Then from out of nowhere she said "I know its weird...but would you fuck this for me?" After my immediate reaction of disbelief, followed by hilarity I actually saw that she was serious and that acting out her suggestion would give her pleasure...
So I unbuckled my belt, and pulled down my jeans and boxers and sat down upon my couch, surprised to see despite the comedy of the situation I was already hard? But then the look of anticipation and mischief on her cute face was so enticing...
There was a problem however.The round hole in the chicken was only just over an inch in diameter and though made of rubber it was thicker at the base and needed quite a bit of stretching...however my companion was most insistent and fetched some oil from the bathroom. After anointing my prong with it extremely liberally I held the novelty gift steady by its legs and with only a bit of pain forced my glistening head inside... Her eyes lit up. I gradually pushed harder and my firm shaft began to slide inch by inch inside the tight rubber orifice... fortunately the body of the item was entirely hollow, so once in all the way I began to fuck the ludicrous item in earnest, the oily rubber I squeezed against my prick feeling surprisingly delicious...and making a rapid squelching noise due to the baby oil as I carried on with my strange abuse...
Then my enthralled companion removed her own jeans, slipped her hand into her pink knicks and began to masturbate as she watched which made me enjoy my weird act even more! She only did this for a short while before rushing to the couch, removing her panties and saying "Give me this," pulling the rubber chicken firmly from my proud cock which was red from base to tip with the amount of squeezing it had had.
She then grinned wickedly and spread her legs to reveal she was absolutely drenched. She put the head of the novelty chicken to her pussy and I remembered that the head and neck were made of firm solid rubber a second before she fed it into her....
Then it was her turn to fuck it, and she did so with gusto, her fingers digging into the rubber hsrd as she drove it rapidly in and out, sighing with pleasure to boot! I couldn't keep from returning my hand to my cock, the fact that the object she was using to fuck herself was so off the wall and odd made it strangely more obscene and basely horny?
So I beat off to her wicked game like a man posessed, till I couldn't take any more. I pulled the rubber neck and head from her beautiful slit and pounced, drilling my urgent root inside her to balls and giving her it hard and fast, rutting like animals in heat....
When she came upon me and I in her we both agreed they had been some of the most hard intense orgasms we had experienced...
Funny thing is I can't even remember who bought me the bloody thing now as it was given to me on a birthday piss up. But it turned out not to be such a useless present after all... "
Now THAT'S a story!!
Imagine if she'd had the head end inside her while you fucked the bottom end? Rubber chicken threeway! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Strangest thing; one of those novelty rubber chickens with a hole where its backside was, I assume so you could display the ridiculous thing in a larger variety of places.
I was entertaining a girl and the silly thing was lying around the flat I had at the time. And no I didn't buy it, someone got it for me as a "joke" present that said 'because everyone needs one.' Okay....
Anyway, said girl picked it up and looked at it curiously and I noticed she had a gleam in her eyes... Then from out of nowhere she said "I know its weird...but would you fuck this for me?" After my immediate reaction of disbelief, followed by hilarity I actually saw that she was serious and that acting out her suggestion would give her pleasure...
So I unbuckled my belt, and pulled down my jeans and boxers and sat down upon my couch, surprised to see despite the comedy of the situation I was already hard? But then the look of anticipation and mischief on her cute face was so enticing...
There was a problem however.The round hole in the chicken was only just over an inch in diameter and though made of rubber it was thicker at the base and needed quite a bit of stretching...however my companion was most insistent and fetched some oil from the bathroom. After anointing my prong with it extremely liberally I held the novelty gift steady by its legs and with only a bit of pain forced my glistening head inside... Her eyes lit up. I gradually pushed harder and my firm shaft began to slide inch by inch inside the tight rubber orifice... fortunately the body of the item was entirely hollow, so once in all the way I began to fuck the ludicrous item in earnest, the oily rubber I squeezed against my prick feeling surprisingly delicious...and making a rapid squelching noise due to the baby oil as I carried on with my strange abuse...
Then my enthralled companion removed her own jeans, slipped her hand into her pink knicks and began to masturbate as she watched which made me enjoy my weird act even more! She only did this for a short while before rushing to the couch, removing her panties and saying "Give me this," pulling the rubber chicken firmly from my proud cock which was red from base to tip with the amount of squeezing it had had.
She then grinned wickedly and spread her legs to reveal she was absolutely drenched. She put the head of the novelty chicken to her pussy and I remembered that the head and neck were made of firm solid rubber a second before she fed it into her....
Then it was her turn to fuck it, and she did so with gusto, her fingers digging into the rubber hsrd as she drove it rapidly in and out, sighing with pleasure to boot! I couldn't keep from returning my hand to my cock, the fact that the object she was using to fuck herself was so off the wall and odd made it strangely more obscene and basely horny?
So I beat off to her wicked game like a man posessed, till I couldn't take any more. I pulled the rubber neck and head from her beautiful slit and pounced, drilling my urgent root inside her to balls and giving her it hard and fast, rutting like animals in heat....
When she came upon me and I in her we both agreed they had been some of the most hard intense orgasms we had experienced...
Funny thing is I can't even remember who bought me the bloody thing now as it was given to me on a birthday piss up. But it turned out not to be such a useless present after all...
Now THAT'S a story!!
Imagine if she'd had the head end inside her while you fucked the bottom end? Rubber chicken threeway! "
The thought did occur to me...and there'd have also been the possibility of "roast chicken" punchlines too! Though on a technicality we would have been enjoying triolism.
It would probably have been quite tricky, but possible.
But I quite simply had to have her... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was quite young and before I knew what vibrators where I found that a small round top off a perfume bottle stuck onto a handle of an electric toothbrush with blutack elicited some very pleasant feelings |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A Henry vacuum cleaner, my wife held the rubber bit that goes over the curved metal wand bit, best blow job have had for ages, my spunk flew in to the tub never to be seen again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lad I work told me they (when younger) used a jar of those hot dog sausages with one removed. I've not been able to buy them since.  "
A guy once told me he cut a French loaf in half, pulled out the soft bread and replaced it with warm liver, he said he felt surprisingly like a fanny  |
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By *ilberryMan
over a year ago
Scarborough |
"Strangest thing; one of those novelty rubber chickens with a hole where its backside was, I assume so you could display the ridiculous thing in a larger variety of places.
I was entertaining a girl and the silly thing was lying around the flat I had at the time. And no I didn't buy it, someone got it for me as a "joke" present that said 'because everyone needs one.' Okay....
Nice idea, but who wants to be called a Chicken Fucker?
Anyway, said girl picked it up and looked at it curiously and I noticed she had a gleam in her eyes... Then from out of nowhere she said "I know its weird...but would you fuck this for me?" After my immediate reaction of disbelief, followed by hilarity I actually saw that she was serious and that acting out her suggestion would give her pleasure...
So I unbuckled my belt, and pulled down my jeans and boxers and sat down upon my couch, surprised to see despite the comedy of the situation I was already hard? But then the look of anticipation and mischief on her cute face was so enticing...
There was a problem however.The round hole in the chicken was only just over an inch in diameter and though made of rubber it was thicker at the base and needed quite a bit of stretching...however my companion was most insistent and fetched some oil from the bathroom. After anointing my prong with it extremely liberally I held the novelty gift steady by its legs and with only a bit of pain forced my glistening head inside... Her eyes lit up. I gradually pushed harder and my firm shaft began to slide inch by inch inside the tight rubber orifice... fortunately the body of the item was entirely hollow, so once in all the way I began to fuck the ludicrous item in earnest, the oily rubber I squeezed against my prick feeling surprisingly delicious...and making a rapid squelching noise due to the baby oil as I carried on with my strange abuse...
Then my enthralled companion removed her own jeans, slipped her hand into her pink knicks and began to masturbate as she watched which made me enjoy my weird act even more! She only did this for a short while before rushing to the couch, removing her panties and saying "Give me this," pulling the rubber chicken firmly from my proud cock which was red from base to tip with the amount of squeezing it had had.
She then grinned wickedly and spread her legs to reveal she was absolutely drenched. She put the head of the novelty chicken to her pussy and I remembered that the head and neck were made of firm solid rubber a second before she fed it into her....
Then it was her turn to fuck it, and she did so with gusto, her fingers digging into the rubber hsrd as she drove it rapidly in and out, sighing with pleasure to boot! I couldn't keep from returning my hand to my cock, the fact that the object she was using to fuck herself was so off the wall and odd made it strangely more obscene and basely horny?
So I beat off to her wicked game like a man posessed, till I couldn't take any more. I pulled the rubber neck and head from her beautiful slit and pounced, drilling my urgent root inside her to balls and giving her it hard and fast, rutting like animals in heat....
When she came upon me and I in her we both agreed they had been some of the most hard intense orgasms we had experienced...
Funny thing is I can't even remember who bought me the bloody thing now as it was given to me on a birthday piss up. But it turned out not to be such a useless present after all...
Now THAT'S a story!!
Imagine if she'd had the head end inside her while you fucked the bottom end? Rubber chicken threeway!
The thought did occur to me...and there'd have also been the possibility of "roast chicken" punchlines too! Though on a technicality we would have been enjoying triolism.
It would probably have been quite tricky, but possible.
But I quite simply had to have her... "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Strangest thing; one of those novelty rubber chickens with a hole where its backside was, I assume so you could display the ridiculous thing in a larger variety of places.
I was entertaining a girl and the silly thing was lying around the flat I had at the time. And no I didn't buy it, someone got it for me as a "joke" present that said 'because everyone needs one.' Okay....
Anyway, said girl picked it up and looked at it curiously and I noticed she had a gleam in her eyes... Then from out of nowhere she said "I know its weird...but would you fuck this for me?" After my immediate reaction of disbelief, followed by hilarity I actually saw that she was serious and that acting out her suggestion would give her pleasure...
So I unbuckled my belt, and pulled down my jeans and boxers and sat down upon my couch, surprised to see despite the comedy of the situation I was already hard? But then the look of anticipation and mischief on her cute face was so enticing...
There was a problem however.The round hole in the chicken was only just over an inch in diameter and though made of rubber it was thicker at the base and needed quite a bit of stretching...however my companion was most insistent and fetched some oil from the bathroom. After anointing my prong with it extremely liberally I held the novelty gift steady by its legs and with only a bit of pain forced my glistening head inside... Her eyes lit up. I gradually pushed harder and my firm shaft began to slide inch by inch inside the tight rubber orifice... fortunately the body of the item was entirely hollow, so once in all the way I began to fuck the ludicrous item in earnest, the oily rubber I squeezed against my prick feeling surprisingly delicious...and making a rapid squelching noise due to the baby oil as I carried on with my strange abuse...
Then my enthralled companion removed her own jeans, slipped her hand into her pink knicks and began to masturbate as she watched which made me enjoy my weird act even more! She only did this for a short while before rushing to the couch, removing her panties and saying "Give me this," pulling the rubber chicken firmly from my proud cock which was red from base to tip with the amount of squeezing it had had.
She then grinned wickedly and spread her legs to reveal she was absolutely drenched. She put the head of the novelty chicken to her pussy and I remembered that the head and neck were made of firm solid rubber a second before she fed it into her....
Then it was her turn to fuck it, and she did so with gusto, her fingers digging into the rubber hsrd as she drove it rapidly in and out, sighing with pleasure to boot! I couldn't keep from returning my hand to my cock, the fact that the object she was using to fuck herself was so off the wall and odd made it strangely more obscene and basely horny?
So I beat off to her wicked game like a man posessed, till I couldn't take any more. I pulled the rubber neck and head from her beautiful slit and pounced, drilling my urgent root inside her to balls and giving her it hard and fast, rutting like animals in heat....
When she came upon me and I in her we both agreed they had been some of the most hard intense orgasms we had experienced...
Funny thing is I can't even remember who bought me the bloody thing now as it was given to me on a birthday piss up. But it turned out not to be such a useless present after all...
Now THAT'S a story!!
Imagine if she'd had the head end inside her while you fucked the bottom end? Rubber chicken threeway! "
 fantastic story. I think you'd win a game of top trumps with that one lol
You haven't lived till you've fucked a rubber chicken. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who wants to be called Chicken Fucker? "
If I gained a username for every strange pursuit I've enjoyed with the fairer sex I think fab would be complaining about me using up too much data space... |
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lol
