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Cheaters
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it happends more than you know even amongst coupls here, they organise sex meets then deletes the emails to satisfy their sex needs as hubby are down work so cant trace what they been up to in the mean time lol. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just wondering how many people on here are cheating on a partner, and what their reasons for doing so are?
Looking for some reasons to justify yourself?  "
I'm single, would never cheat anyway. Just trying to understand people's way of thinking. I think if you don't fancy the person you are with, why not just break up with them, instead of cheating on them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering how many people on here are cheating on a partner, and what their reasons for doing so are?
Looking for some reasons to justify yourself?
I'm single, would never cheat anyway. Just trying to understand people's way of thinking. I think if you don't fancy the person you are with, why not just break up with them, instead of cheating on them?"
Its not that easy sometimes! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering how many people on here are cheating on a partner, and what their reasons for doing so are?
Looking for some reasons to justify yourself?
I'm single, would never cheat anyway. Just trying to understand people's way of thinking. I think if you don't fancy the person you are with, why not just break up with them, instead of cheating on them?"
They can fancy the person they're with and still cheat.
They want who they're already with but might cheat with someone else purely because they can.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes you do fancy them, you can even love them but they just can tick every box, every urge. You see guys on here the whole time who have girlfriends but secretly love to blow guys. Now they can't do that with their girlfriend. I've also met a few TVTS also, they have this side they cannot suppress, they love their wives and family but need to (like an addiction) satisfy those urges. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it certainly isn't black and white and it's not for you, I or anyone else to judge them. If you don't want to meet a "cheater" then dont. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just wondering how many people on here are cheating on a partner, and what their reasons for doing so are?
Looking for some reasons to justify yourself?
I'm single, would never cheat anyway. Just trying to understand people's way of thinking. I think if you don't fancy the person you are with, why not just break up with them, instead of cheating on them?
Its not that easy sometimes!"
What sort of circumstances do you mean, if you don't mind saying, that is? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes you do fancy them, you can even love them but they just can tick every box, every urge. You see guys on here the whole time who have girlfriends but secretly love to blow guys. Now they can't do that with their girlfriend. I've also met a few TVTS also, they have this side they cannot suppress, they love their wives and family but need to (like an addiction) satisfy those urges. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it certainly isn't black and white and it's not for you, I or anyone else to judge them. If you don't want to meet a "cheater" then dont."
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering how many people on here are cheating on a partner, and what their reasons for doing so are?
Looking for some reasons to justify yourself?
I'm single, would never cheat anyway. Just trying to understand people's way of thinking. I think if you don't fancy the person you are with, why not just break up with them, instead of cheating on them?
Its not that easy sometimes!
What sort of circumstances do you mean, if you don't mind saying, that is?"
They probably love the person theyre with but the relationship may be lacking in the excitement a meet brings... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands"
Are you okay playing with them if they have their partners knowledge? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands
Are you okay playing with them if they have their partners knowledge?"
Wouldn't have a problem if their partner knows about it. When it comes to cheating, it's not something I would want done to me (potentially) or wish upon any innocent party |
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I am sure lots of people are cheating but it's not for me. I am part of a very open marriage, we both see other people and I cannot imagine it being any other way.
I try very hard not to see people who are cheating. Sometimes that has lead said people to be rude to me when I politely decline to meet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands
Are you okay playing with them if they have their partners knowledge?
Wouldn't have a problem if their partner knows about it. When it comes to cheating, it's not something I would want done to me (potentially) or wish upon any innocent party"
I can understand and appreciate that, however hypothetically I will add this. If I had a great childhood and both parents, both loving and affectionate, a happy family and it transpired my dad had secretly been meeting someone else for sex (a man, woman, transgendered... It doesn't matter) because he couldn't get it from my Mum, would I be judging him for it? No, because he still did everything to be a good provider and carer for me and my Mum. Would I want my Mum knowing? No, because it would hurt her. But given the option of harbouring secrets or destroying a happy home I stand by my statement that it isn't all black and white. These people who cheat have their own reasons and have to live with their decisions, we can only choose whether we want to be a party to it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands
Are you okay playing with them if they have their partners knowledge?
Wouldn't have a problem if their partner knows about it. When it comes to cheating, it's not something I would want done to me (potentially) or wish upon any innocent party
I can understand and appreciate that, however hypothetically I will add this. If I had a great childhood and both parents, both loving and affectionate, a happy family and it transpired my dad had secretly been meeting someone else for sex (a man, woman, transgendered... It doesn't matter) because he couldn't get it from my Mum, would I be judging him for it? No, because he still did everything to be a good provider and carer for me and my Mum. Would I want my Mum knowing? No, because it would hurt her. But given the option of harbouring secrets or destroying a happy home I stand by my statement that it isn't all black and white. These people who cheat have their own reasons and have to live with their decisions, we can only choose whether we want to be a party to it."
Thanks. I appreciate your _iews on that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wish life was black and white. I used to believe it was. Then life got in the way and challenged that assumption. We live and learn. The only person we need to be able to look in the mirror is ourselves. |
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"Sometimes you do fancy them, you can even love them but they just can tick every box, every urge. You see guys on here the whole time who have girlfriends but secretly love to blow guys. Now they can't do that with their girlfriend. I've also met a few TVTS also, they have this side they cannot suppress, they love their wives and family but need to (like an addiction) satisfy those urges. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it certainly isn't black and white and it's not for you, I or anyone else to judge them. If you don't want to meet a "cheater" then dont."
Ta da! We have a winner xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a preference for cheaters. The forbidden fruit element is a turn on. Plus they're less likely to suggest 'getting serious', moving in or getting pissed off when I meet with someone else. Also they don't turn up unannounced as a surprise. All in all, I find them less complicated. I appreciate that some people will be horrified by this. But the fact is that some people are very happily married but don't get any sex at home. It doesn't mean they want to disrespect their partners. It just means there's a part of tjere lives that needs fulfilling. Who am I to judge? |
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I prefer people who I can trust. If someone is lying to their partner how can I be sure they are not lying to me (about STD status, likelihood of partner finding out, all kinds of things).
What happens at a club stays in the club....but outside I have a strong preference for meeting women who are single or who have partners who approve. |
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"Just wondering how many people on here are cheating on a partner, and what their reasons for doing so are?
Looking for some reasons to justify yourself?
I'm single, would never cheat anyway. Just trying to understand people's way of thinking. I think if you don't fancy the person you are with, why not just break up with them, instead of cheating on them?
Its not that easy sometimes!"
It sure isn't. |
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"I have a preference for cheaters. The forbidden fruit element is a turn on. Plus they're less likely to suggest 'getting serious', moving in or getting pissed off when I meet with someone else. Also they don't turn up unannounced as a surprise. All in all, I find them less complicated. I appreciate that some people will be horrified by this. But the fact is that some people are very happily married but don't get any sex at home. It doesn't mean they want to disrespect their partners. It just means there's a part of tjere lives that needs fulfilling. Who am I to judge?"
by lieing and cheating they are directly disrespecting there partners whether they want to or not. |
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"I have a preference for cheaters. The forbidden fruit element is a turn on. Plus they're less likely to suggest 'getting serious', moving in or getting pissed off when I meet with someone else. Also they don't turn up unannounced as a surprise. All in all, I find them less complicated. I appreciate that some people will be horrified by this. But the fact is that some people are very happily married but don't get any sex at home. It doesn't mean they want to disrespect their partners. It just means there's a part of tjere lives that needs fulfilling. Who am I to judge?"
So do I. I'm definitely getting the missing part of my life sorted. I couldn't go on for ever with no affection at all. All my men are attached because of the reasons above and they've all got as much to lose as I have.
I don't think of it as cheating, I'm fulfilling a part of my life which has been dead for 13 years. My husband knows the situation. He can't fulfil that side of my life. It's not cheating at all. He hasn't fulfill his marriage vows in so many ways, I'm just breaking one vow. Love, honour and cherish? Nope? Never! Look after me in sickness and in health? Never!
I've found th ultimate fuck buddy so I suppose I am having my cake and eating it. It's making me smile again and that's no bad thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are many reasons why people cheat.
I have had an 8 year relationship with a married guy, he adores his family and still loves his wife after 35 years or so together, although he is not in love with her, if you get me? They still cohabit as man and wife, just sleep in separate bedrooms and do their own things, unless it involves their 2 children and 4 grandchildren.
We are however just on friendship terms now, but still see each other often and go out occasionally together.
I never looked to seek the attention and love from a married man and I always insisted that his family came before me. I know I'm just as bad as he is, but he's been my guardian angel and best friend, but will never take him from his family.
Kitty x |
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by lieing and cheating they are directly disrespecting there partners whether they want to or not."
I have also noted, where people I know have cheated, that the partner does suffer. It's not a case of "what they don't know won't hurt them".
The sneaking off, secret texting/emailing...the hidden guilt of the cheating partner all takes a toll on a relationship.
If something isn't working, talk about it. If you can't talk about it with your spouse then maybe that's the problem. |
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"Sometimes you do fancy them, you can even love them but they just can tick every box, every urge. You see guys on here the whole time who have girlfriends but secretly love to blow guys. Now they can't do that with their girlfriend. I've also met a few TVTS also, they have this side they cannot suppress, they love their wives and family but need to (like an addiction) satisfy those urges. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it certainly isn't black and white and it's not for you, I or anyone else to judge them. If you don't want to meet a "cheater" then dont.
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands"
Well done to you sir, morally righteous and jolly good citizen award is in the post.
yet another pointless post! |
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I'm in a open relationship where everything is known and consented to, and wherever possible, I meet those who are single or in a similar position
I say where possible, because that beautiful ideal world doesn't exist yet and life is often much more complex
Personally I don't believe in monogamy and think it's this idea that's pushed as how relationships should be, that is one of the most harmful. Clearly ddoesn't work for many by the amount of broken relationships out there
If other types of relationships were considered as normal as monogamous ones, it think the world would be a much better place with a lot less lies in it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering how many people on here are cheating on a partner, and what their reasons for doing so are?
Looking for some reasons to justify yourself?
I'm single, would never cheat anyway. Just trying to understand people's way of thinking. I think if you don't fancy the person you are with, why not just break up with them, instead of cheating on them?"
Let's hope you never get in that situation then as it's not easy to leave |
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"Sometimes you do fancy them, you can even love them but they just can tick every box, every urge. You see guys on here the whole time who have girlfriends but secretly love to blow guys. Now they can't do that with their girlfriend. I've also met a few TVTS also, they have this side they cannot suppress, they love their wives and family but need to (like an addiction) satisfy those urges. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it certainly isn't black and white and it's not for you, I or anyone else to judge them. If you don't want to meet a "cheater" then dont.
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands
Well done to you sir, morally righteous and jolly good citizen award is in the post.
yet another pointless post!"
Why is it pointless? If you didn't wanna get involved in the thread, you should've passed it by, He's pretty new to using the forums, so give the guy a break.  |
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"Just wondering how many people on here are cheating on a partner, and what their reasons for doing so are?
Looking for some reasons to justify yourself?
I'm single, would never cheat anyway. Just trying to understand people's way of thinking. I think if you don't fancy the person you are with, why not just break up with them, instead of cheating on them?
Let's hope you never get in that situation then as it's not easy to leave "
and not everyone wants to leave....... |
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I'm not preaching
But I've never cheated
Nor ever would
But I generally don't ask
It's not my business unless they want to confess and once they begin to offload, I'm bored to tears anyway because I'd simply leave
And I have done
Life's for living
Not being miserable |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes you do fancy them, you can even love them but they just can tick every box, every urge. You see guys on here the whole time who have girlfriends but secretly love to blow guys. Now they can't do that with their girlfriend. I've also met a few TVTS also, they have this side they cannot suppress, they love their wives and family but need to (like an addiction) satisfy those urges. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it certainly isn't black and white and it's not for you, I or anyone else to judge them. If you don't want to meet a "cheater" then dont.
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands
Well done to you sir, morally righteous and jolly good citizen award is in the post.
yet another pointless post!
Why is it pointless? If you didn't wanna get involved in the thread, you should've passed it by, He's pretty new to using the forums, so give the guy a break. "
Thanks Miss Purring. Couldn't have put it better xxx |
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Personally I don't believe in monogamy and think it's this idea that's pushed as how relationships should be, that is one of the most harmful. Clearly ddoesn't work for many by the amount of broken relationships out there
If other types of relationships were considered as normal as monogamous ones, it think the world would be a much better place with a lot less lies in it "
this. A hundred times over.
there is very little monogamy in the animal kingdom, and I am increasingly of the opinion that for humans it is a social construct. A quick look at history shows that human beings have practiced every conceivable kind of relationship dynamic. |
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"Sometimes you do fancy them, you can even love them but they just can tick every box, every urge. You see guys on here the whole time who have girlfriends but secretly love to blow guys. Now they can't do that with their girlfriend. I've also met a few TVTS also, they have this side they cannot suppress, they love their wives and family but need to (like an addiction) satisfy those urges. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it certainly isn't black and white and it's not for you, I or anyone else to judge them. If you don't want to meet a "cheater" then dont.
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands
Well done to you sir, morally righteous and jolly good citizen award is in the post.
yet another pointless post!
Why is it pointless? If you didn't wanna get involved in the thread, you should've passed it by, He's pretty new to using the forums, so give the guy a break.
Thanks Miss Purring. Couldn't have put it better xxx"
Pisses me off Andy, it's why I don't use these forums as often now, too many people on their high horses. Happening several times a day, I wouldn't mind, but it's so easy to scroll on by. No wonder newbies think there is some sort of clique or that older members are the elitest of the forums.
Don't get none of it on Lovehoney. |
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"
Personally I don't believe in monogamy and think it's this idea that's pushed as how relationships should be, that is one of the most harmful. Clearly ddoesn't work for many by the amount of broken relationships out there
If other types of relationships were considered as normal as monogamous ones, it think the world would be a much better place with a lot less lies in it
this. A hundred times over.
there is very little monogamy in the animal kingdom, and I am increasingly of the opinion that for humans it is a social construct. A quick look at history shows that human beings have practiced every conceivable kind of relationship dynamic. "
mainly due to Religion. I'd never consider a monogamous relationship ever again, although I have never cheated. Poly all the way  |
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There will be numeeous reasons for why people cheat from hidden bi/gay desires, genuine one off mistakes, full blown affairs by people that love their spouse but the sexual side of the relationship is lacking in some way maybe one spouse is into a particular kink abd the other isnt, to the most cowardly where instead of facing addressing the issues in their relationship they just opt for getting sex elsewhere, theres probably many resons inbetween too so you wont get a straight answer as everyone will have their own reasons. |
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"I have a preference for cheaters. The forbidden fruit element is a turn on. Plus they're less likely to suggest 'getting serious', moving in or getting pissed off when I meet with someone else. Also they don't turn up unannounced as a surprise. All in all, I find them less complicated. I appreciate that some people will be horrified by this. But the fact is that some people are very happily married but don't get any sex at home. It doesn't mean they want to disrespect their partners. It just means there's a part of tjere lives that needs fulfilling. Who am I to judge?
by lieing and cheating they are directly disrespecting there partners whether they want to or not."
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mainly due to Religion. I'd never consider a monogamous relationship ever again, although I have never cheated. Poly all the way "
I would agree. Though I would add the caveat that every relationship is unique and what works you you and I (poly) might not work for everyone.
That said, the couple who I used to use as an example of monogamy working are now happily open and swinging  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Marriage is about many things. There's so much more to it than sex. So for those of you that are so appalled by cheaters try this as an experiment.
Chose one person to have sex with. ( not for life, just the next 24 months) and don't have sex with them or anyone else. You can hug them but no snogging. You're like best friends.
When you've done that, get back to me and tell me how how happy you are in your celibate prison. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes you do fancy them, you can even love them but they just can tick every box, every urge. You see guys on here the whole time who have girlfriends but secretly love to blow guys. Now they can't do that with their girlfriend. I've also met a few TVTS also, they have this side they cannot suppress, they love their wives and family but need to (like an addiction) satisfy those urges. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it certainly isn't black and white and it's not for you, I or anyone else to judge them. If you don't want to meet a "cheater" then dont.
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands
Well done to you sir, morally righteous and jolly good citizen award is in the post.
yet another pointless post!
Why is it pointless? If you didn't wanna get involved in the thread, you should've passed it by, He's pretty new to using the forums, so give the guy a break.
Thanks Miss Purring. Couldn't have put it better xxx
Pisses me off Andy, it's why I don't use these forums as often now, too many people on their high horses. Happening several times a day, I wouldn't mind, but it's so easy to scroll on by. No wonder newbies think there is some sort of clique or that older members are the elitest of the forums.
Don't get none of it on Lovehoney."
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By *r appyMan
over a year ago
Scunthorpe |
My wife doesn't want sex, so does that mean I never have sex again?
Is original poster better than me because he isn't in a relationship.
We are all on this site because we want casual no strings sex! |
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"Marriage is about many things. There's so much more to it than sex. So for those of you that are so appalled by cheaters try this as an experiment.
Chose one person to have sex with. ( not for life, just the next 24 months) and don't have sex with them or anyone else. You can hug them but no snogging. You're like best friends.
When you've done that, get back to me and tell me how how happy you are in your celibate prison. "
I was celibate in my marridge for 3 years, did i miss sex? of course i did, did i remain loyal? Yes, was i happy?, absolutely I loved my husband. Up until the point I found out he was having an affair for the whole 3 years and i felt utterly betrayed for standing by him in a sexless relationship when i had the oppertunity to cheat on him many times and didnt, certainly made me wish i had. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My wife doesn't want sex, so does that mean I never have sex again?
Is original poster better than me because he isn't in a relationship.
We are all on this site because we want casual no strings sex!"
I wouldn't say I was better than you. Did you try counselling, or anything to establish the cause of any problems? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering how many people on here are cheating on a partner, and what their reasons for doing so are?
Looking for some reasons to justify yourself?
I'm single, would never cheat anyway. Just trying to understand people's way of thinking. I think if you don't fancy the person you are with, why not just break up with them, instead of cheating on them?
They can fancy the person they're with and still cheat.
They want who they're already with but might cheat with someone else purely because they can.
"
And this a classic behaviour of a sex addict, the validation by someone else agreeing to have sex with them feeds their addiction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Marriage is about many things. There's so much more to it than sex. So for those of you that are so appalled by cheaters try this as an experiment.
Chose one person to have sex with. ( not for life, just the next 24 months) and don't have sex with them or anyone else. You can hug them but no snogging. You're like best friends.
When you've done that, get back to me and tell me how how happy you are in your celibate prison.
I was celibate in my marridge for 3 years, did i miss sex? of course i did, did i remain loyal? Yes, was i happy?, absolutely I loved my husband. Up until the point I found out he was having an affair for the whole 3 years and i felt utterly betrayed for standing by him in a sexless relationship when i had the oppertunity to cheat on him many times and didnt, certainly made me wish i had. "
So sorry you had this happen to you, my husband did this for just two years, we weren't entirely celibate in our marriage but only had sex when I forced the issue. It's absolutely shitty behaviour |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"My wife doesn't want sex, so does that mean I never have sex again?
Is original poster better than me because he isn't in a relationship.
We are all on this site because we want casual no strings sex!"
have you explained to her the importance of being intimate with her is to you, the need for sex in your relationship is very importnat to you.
and if she feels she can't have sex with you for whatever reason, you will join a swingers site looking for it elsewhere?
I am not being better than you at all, just genuinely interested |
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"Marriage is about many things. There's so much more to it than sex. So for those of you that are so appalled by cheaters try this as an experiment.
Chose one person to have sex with. ( not for life, just the next 24 months) and don't have sex with them or anyone else. You can hug them but no snogging. You're like best friends.
When you've done that, get back to me and tell me how how happy you are in your celibate prison.
I was celibate in my marridge for 3 years, did i miss sex? of course i did, did i remain loyal? Yes, was i happy?, absolutely I loved my husband. Up until the point I found out he was having an affair for the whole 3 years and i felt utterly betrayed for standing by him in a sexless relationship when i had the oppertunity to cheat on him many times and didnt, certainly made me wish i had.
So sorry you had this happen to you, my husband did this for just two years, we weren't entirely celibate in our marriage but only had sex when I forced the issue. It's absolutely shitty behaviour "
Yes its awful behaviour but it we live and learn and im a beliver in Karma so i dont need to lash out over it he will gets his just desserts in time. Ive moved on and im happy now thats the main thing. |
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By *r appyMan
over a year ago
Scunthorpe |
I love my wife, I have not had sex outside marriage (25years).I have been on this site over 3years love thought of maybe one day!
My wife knows the importance of sex however that doesn't mean she wants to make love. I do not want to make love with someone because it is their duty.
I know we should all talk openly
, but talking cannot alter or change physical or mental feelings, she has gone off sex, I am sure a lot of 50-60 year old women do feel the same.
Could you tell your wife you want to be intimate with another woman without hurting her? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lots of men on here are cheating, they give all sorts of excuses but im inclined to take them with a pinch of salt seeing as they lie about so many other things. also you don't find out some of them are married until you have met them. |
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"lots of men on here are cheating, they give all sorts of excuses but im inclined to take them with a pinch of salt seeing as they lie about so many other things. also you don't find out some of them are married until you have met them."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Marriage is about many things. There's so much more to it than sex. So for those of you that are so appalled by cheaters try this as an experiment.
Chose one person to have sex with. ( not for life, just the next 24 months) and don't have sex with them or anyone else. You can hug them but no snogging. You're like best friends.
When you've done that, get back to me and tell me how how happy you are in your celibate prison. "
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I love my wife, I have not had sex outside marriage (25years).I have been on this site over 3years love thought of maybe one day!
My wife knows the importance of sex however that doesn't mean she wants to make love. I do not want to make love with someone because it is their duty.
I know we should all talk openly
, but talking cannot alter or change physical or mental feelings, she has gone off sex, I am sure a lot of 50-60 year old women do feel the same.
Could you tell your wife you want to be intimate with another woman without hurting her?"
thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to feel sorry for men who said they weren't getting any sex but after meeting a few of them I can understand why their wives don't want to and feel sorry for them, I think thank god im not married to them. |
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"I love my wife, I have not had sex outside marriage (25years).I have been on this site over 3years love thought of maybe one day!
My wife knows the importance of sex however that doesn't mean she wants to make love. I do not want to make love with someone because it is their duty.
I know we should all talk openly
, but talking cannot alter or change physical or mental feelings, she has gone off sex, I am sure a lot of 50-60 year old women do feel the same.
Could you tell your wife you want to be intimate with another woman without hurting her?"
Talking can change mental feelings, it enables us to understand why other people feel the way they do, they in turn can understand us and even grow to understand ourselves a bit better. Lots of older women do go off sex its true but the reasons for that are many and various and only discovered by discussing it not by assuming the cause.
I'm not making any comment on your situation but I think its a shame that you assume that talking can't change anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lots of men on here are cheating, they give all sorts of excuses but im inclined to take them with a pinch of salt seeing as they lie about so many other things. also you don't find out some of them are married until you have met them."
you quote they lie about so many things , sounds like you had bad experience but woman lie daily , changed hair die , push up bra's , hold in pants, chicken fillets , and half the time so much make up they don't even look like themselves anymore yet they have the cheek to say men lie . Just saying
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands
Are you okay playing with them if they have their partners knowledge?
Wouldn't have a problem if their partner knows about it. When it comes to cheating, it's not something I would want done to me (potentially) or wish upon any innocent party
I can understand and appreciate that, however hypothetically I will add this. If I had a great childhood and both parents, both loving and affectionate, a happy family and it transpired my dad had secretly been meeting someone else for sex (a man, woman, transgendered... It doesn't matter) because he couldn't get it from my Mum, would I be judging him for it? No, because he still did everything to be a good provider and carer for me and my Mum. Would I want my Mum knowing? No, because it would hurt her. But given the option of harbouring secrets or destroying a happy home I stand by my statement that it isn't all black and white. These people who cheat have their own reasons and have to live with their decisions, we can only choose whether we want to be a party to it."
That's the most succinct and honest answer I could ever give. |
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"lots of men on here are cheating, they give all sorts of excuses but im inclined to take them with a pinch of salt seeing as they lie about so many other things. also you don't find out some of them are married until you have met them. you quote they lie about so many things , sounds like you had bad experience but woman lie daily , changed hair die , push up bra's , hold in pants, chicken fillets , and half the time so much make up they don't even look like themselves anymore yet they have the cheek to say men lie . Just saying "
There is a difference between doing these this to boost confidence and improving self image than doing it to lie and present a false self.
In fact little thought here, but if your aware women do this and its so obvious to you they do then its technically not a lie as your aware of it from the start |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lots of men on here are cheating, they give all sorts of excuses but im inclined to take them with a pinch of salt seeing as they lie about so many other things. also you don't find out some of them are married until you have met them. you quote they lie about so many things , sounds like you had bad experience but woman lie daily , changed hair die , push up bra's , hold in pants, chicken fillets , and half the time so much make up they don't even look like themselves anymore yet they have the cheek to say men lie . Just saying
There is a difference between doing these this to boost confidence and improving self image than doing it to lie and present a false self.
In fact little thought here, but if your aware women do this and its so obvious to you they do then its technically not a lie as your aware of it from the start"
It's a tad more subjective then that , some times you really don't realise , the make up can look subtle but then with out , it's a completely different person half the time there still attractive but I think my point is fair . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It's a tad more subjective then that , some times you really don't realise , the make up can look subtle but then with out , it's a completely different person half the time there still attractive but I think my point is fair . "
Yes.
Wearing make up is EXACTLY like fucking people behind your spouse to whom you promised monogamy.
Give me a break. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lots of men on here are cheating, they give all sorts of excuses but im inclined to take them with a pinch of salt seeing as they lie about so many other things. also you don't find out some of them are married until you have met them. you quote they lie about so many things , sounds like you had bad experience but woman lie daily , changed hair die , push up bra's , hold in pants, chicken fillets , and half the time so much make up they don't even look like themselves anymore yet they have the cheek to say men lie . Just saying "
Yes women lie too but I don't meet women for sex do I. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It's a tad more subjective then that , some times you really don't realise , the make up can look subtle but then with out , it's a completely different person half the time there still attractive but I think my point is fair .
Yes.
Wearing make up is EXACTLY like fucking people behind your spouse to whom you promised monogamy.
Give me a break."
I didn't say it was this statement was in regards to "men" being liars. |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
I suspect there are those who don't see it as cheating by justifying their behaviour by projecting problems onto their partners.
As one who has cheated in a past wife and she cheated on me, I have to ask myself, 'did I like being cheated on?'
No I didn't. That's why a more open, commutative relationship works for me (and I reiterate the for me bit). |
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"
It's a tad more subjective then that , some times you really don't realise , the make up can look subtle but then with out , it's a completely different person half the time there still attractive but I think my point is fair .
Yes.
Wearing make up is EXACTLY like fucking people behind your spouse to whom you promised monogamy.
Give me a break.
I didn't say it was this statement was in regards to "men" being liars. "
To be fair you are meaauring it to seem the same you just dont realise it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I confess I did cheat when I was much younger.
I decided nit to do it anymore because these secrets always put a distant into my relationship.
I prefer now to be really open about it and talk about it.
but that's just me in my situation.
I don't judge other people. they might have their reasons to do what they do. |
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"Just wondering how many people on here are cheating on a partner, and what their reasons for doing so are?"
There seem to be a lot I just don't see why they are not honest about it and give up on the fanciful excuses. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the past year I have become a lot more open minded about people who cheat. Do I approve? No. I am more aware though that relationships are complex things and not everybody can communicate with their partner so openly. However, I choose not to get involved with cheaters because I really believe the truth will eventually come out whether it be next year or 20 years later. I wouldn't feel comfortable with myself knowing that I had willingly contributed towards somebody else's intense pain |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are lots of people that cheat for many reasons, would we meet a cheater? Not a chance, and not for any moral reason Or sympathy for the other person, but because this is fun for us and the last thing we want is to be caught up in someone's domestics,
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are lots of people that cheat for many reasons, would we meet a cheater? Not a chance, and not for any moral reason Or sympathy for the other person, but because this is fun for us and the last thing we want is to be caught up in someone's domestics,
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In the past year I have become a lot more open minded about people who cheat. Do I approve? No. I am more aware though that relationships are complex things and not everybody can communicate with their partner so openly. However, I choose not to get involved with cheaters because I really believe the truth will eventually come out whether it be next year or 20 years later. I wouldn't feel comfortable with myself knowing that I had willingly contributed towards somebody else's intense pain "
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"Marriage is about many things. There's so much more to it than sex. So for those of you that are so appalled by cheaters try this as an experiment.
Chose one person to have sex with. ( not for life, just the next 24 months) and don't have sex with them or anyone else. You can hug them but no snogging. You're like best friends.
When you've done that, get back to me and tell me how how happy you are in your celibate prison. "
I tried to get that that back from my husband. There is just no spark. It's like living with my brother. I know I'm in the celibate prison at home but outside home I am so happy, in fact happier than I've ever been.
I am considering divorcing my husband; I have the paperwork. He tries to pretend there is nothing wrong. Nothing is holding me back except starting my new job on 1st April. Once I am financially secure I'll be going for it. Not because I'm having an affair, but because I just cannot continue to live the lie. I am tense every time my husband enters the house and don't relax until he's left, usually the following morning. That's no life. We can't even hold a conversation any more.
My extremely compatible fuck buddy is very happily married and I totally respect that; I'm not expecting anything from him except great sex and the odd night away. I just think I'd be much happier on my own.
We're both cheating and have been for the last 9 months but are both in the situation as the guy above. I just hope he's as happy as I am and wishes, as I do, that it lasts a very long time x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I forgot to say that I like married myself and cant see any problems helping out if they are in a sexless marriage
Fantastic! There are many more men like you, they just don't go on the forums."
Thanks and yes you are right there, as every little helps x. |
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"My wife doesn't want sex, so does that mean I never have sex again?
Is original poster better than me because he isn't in a relationship.
We are all on this site because we want casual no strings sex!"
but you have strings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My wife doesn't want sex, so does that mean I never have sex again?
Is original poster better than me because he isn't in a relationship.
We are all on this site because we want casual no strings sex!
but you have strings."
Exactly this, it might be no strings for you but to the people meeting you and your partner there's strings all over the place,
if we meet you and your Mrs finds out who's getting the earache? We are so it's not no strings, |
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"Sometimes you do fancy them, you can even love them but they just can tick every box, every urge. You see guys on here the whole time who have girlfriends but secretly love to blow guys. Now they can't do that with their girlfriend. I've also met a few TVTS also, they have this side they cannot suppress, they love their wives and family but need to (like an addiction) satisfy those urges. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it certainly isn't black and white and it's not for you, I or anyone else to judge them. If you don't want to meet a "cheater" then dont.
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands
Well done to you sir, morally righteous and jolly good citizen award is in the post.
yet another pointless post!
Why is it pointless? If you didn't wanna get involved in the thread, you should've passed it by, He's pretty new to using the forums, so give the guy a break. "
and same goes for you correcting me in my opinion. |
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"Sometimes you do fancy them, you can even love them but they just can tick every box, every urge. You see guys on here the whole time who have girlfriends but secretly love to blow guys. Now they can't do that with their girlfriend. I've also met a few TVTS also, they have this side they cannot suppress, they love their wives and family but need to (like an addiction) satisfy those urges. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it certainly isn't black and white and it's not for you, I or anyone else to judge them. If you don't want to meet a "cheater" then dont.
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands
Well done to you sir, morally righteous and jolly good citizen award is in the post.
yet another pointless post!
Why is it pointless? If you didn't wanna get involved in the thread, you should've passed it by, He's pretty new to using the forums, so give the guy a break.
Thanks Miss Purring. Couldn't have put it better xxx
Pisses me off Andy, it's why I don't use these forums as often now, too many people on their high horses. Happening several times a day, I wouldn't mind, but it's so easy to scroll on by. No wonder newbies think there is some sort of clique or that older members are the elitest of the forums.
Don't get none of it on Lovehoney."
People who post "look how great I am because I can't stand cheaters!" is why I posted, I have a right to my opinion my dear x people like you do too, even if I piss you off on my high horse here ......still entitles me to my opinion. may I suggest if it pissed you off so much, just scroll on by yourself. don't patronise others because you're much better suited to Lovehoney x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes you do fancy them, you can even love them but they just can tick every box, every urge. You see guys on here the whole time who have girlfriends but secretly love to blow guys. Now they can't do that with their girlfriend. I've also met a few TVTS also, they have this side they cannot suppress, they love their wives and family but need to (like an addiction) satisfy those urges. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it certainly isn't black and white and it's not for you, I or anyone else to judge them. If you don't want to meet a "cheater" then dont.
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands
Well done to you sir, morally righteous and jolly good citizen award is in the post.
yet another pointless post!
Why is it pointless? If you didn't wanna get involved in the thread, you should've passed it by, He's pretty new to using the forums, so give the guy a break.
Thanks Miss Purring. Couldn't have put it better xxx
Pisses me off Andy, it's why I don't use these forums as often now, too many people on their high horses. Happening several times a day, I wouldn't mind, but it's so easy to scroll on by. No wonder newbies think there is some sort of clique or that older members are the elitest of the forums.
Don't get none of it on Lovehoney.
People who post "look how great I am because I can't stand cheaters!" is why I posted, I have a right to my opinion my dear x people like you do too, even if I piss you off on my high horse here ......still entitles me to my opinion. may I suggest if it pissed you off so much, just scroll on by yourself. don't patronise others because you're much better suited to Lovehoney x "
I didn't put anything about being so great. Miss Purring was simply standing up for me and my oppinion, as you called the post pointless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And here was me thinking this site would at least encourage tolerance if nothing else.... We are all here because we have gravitated towards this lifestyle, can't we all just get along and exercise our right to pick who we want? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And here was me thinking this site would at least encourage tolerance if nothing else.... We are all here because we have gravitated towards this lifestyle, can't we all just get along and exercise our right to pick who we want?"
well said that man. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"And here was me thinking this site would at least encourage tolerance if nothing else.... We are all here because we have gravitated towards this lifestyle, can't we all just get along and exercise our right to pick who we want?"
|
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"Sometimes you do fancy them, you can even love them but they just can tick every box, every urge. You see guys on here the whole time who have girlfriends but secretly love to blow guys. Now they can't do that with their girlfriend. I've also met a few TVTS also, they have this side they cannot suppress, they love their wives and family but need to (like an addiction) satisfy those urges. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it certainly isn't black and white and it's not for you, I or anyone else to judge them. If you don't want to meet a "cheater" then dont.
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands
Well done to you sir, morally righteous and jolly good citizen award is in the post.
yet another pointless post!
Why is it pointless? If you didn't wanna get involved in the thread, you should've passed it by, He's pretty new to using the forums, so give the guy a break.
Thanks Miss Purring. Couldn't have put it better xxx
Pisses me off Andy, it's why I don't use these forums as often now, too many people on their high horses. Happening several times a day, I wouldn't mind, but it's so easy to scroll on by. No wonder newbies think there is some sort of clique or that older members are the elitest of the forums.
Don't get none of it on Lovehoney.
People who post "look how great I am because I can't stand cheaters!" is why I posted, I have a right to my opinion my dear x people like you do too, even if I piss you off on my high horse here ......still entitles me to my opinion. may I suggest if it pissed you off so much, just scroll on by yourself. don't patronise others because you're much better suited to Lovehoney x
I didn't put anything about being so great. Miss Purring was simply standing up for me and my oppinion, as you called the post pointless"
you've come on here championing your morals mate, most people don't need to advertise so widely. We can all have an opinion. She was rather rude in expressing hers, which I will dismiss gladly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And here was me thinking this site would at least encourage tolerance if nothing else.... We are all here because we have gravitated towards this lifestyle, can't we all just get along and exercise our right to pick who we want?"
Ha ha ha tolerance on here? Never!!
to be fair all he is doing is stating his preference, he doesn't want to meet married/attached people it doesn't sit well with him, |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"And here was me thinking this site would at least encourage tolerance if nothing else.... We are all here because we have gravitated towards this lifestyle, can't we all just get along and exercise our right to pick who we want?
Ha ha ha tolerance on here? Never!!
to be fair all he is doing is stating his preference, he doesn't want to meet married/attached people it doesn't sit well with him,"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I don't think monogamy is our default setting. It is in our genetics to procreate like other animals.
Men seem to find it easier to separate love from sex and compartmentalise the two.
It is easy for men to find casual sex, especially with other men.
The 'adult' world has been traditionally built for men with porn cinemas, saunas, sex shops etc.
I could find sex within 10 mins of my front door if I wished.
The Internet and the long overdue balance of equality between men and women has meant that women now have the ability to find casual sex easily.
Not the old stereotype of the milkman slipping in for a quickie, a lady can now select a male for whatever she desires, there are certainly plenty to choose from.
Cheating has always and will always happen. I don't judge as I don't want to know the details of my sexual partners lives.
I'm there to fuck and be fucked.
I've cheated, I've also been in relationships where we have sex with others together and also relationships where we knowingly have sex with others and have both been happy with that.
I have met men who crave intimacy with another man but would never leave their wives and wives that need sex that bored husbands don't provide.
I've also met couples who want to share an extra cock and straight men and women who are curious to explore.
This is a swingers site to find sex. At no point do we have to declare ourselves as having to fit an acceptable criteria and we are not asked to judge.
Sex is addictive, play safe, have your own criteria or standards / morals but above all, don't make assumptions.
Things are rarely black & white, in fact, to throw in a topical statement.... Swinging is most definitely 50 shades of grey.
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to answer the question ...some people cheat due to high sex drives ..it can be an addiction like smoking or gambling ...the attraction on here is it can be done
discretely ...the reason married men/women are attractive to some people ...its bomb proof from a discretion point of _iew ....they have more to loose than you if the cat gets out the bag ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes you do fancy them, you can even love them but they just can tick every box, every urge. You see guys on here the whole time who have girlfriends but secretly love to blow guys. Now they can't do that with their girlfriend. I've also met a few TVTS also, they have this side they cannot suppress, they love their wives and family but need to (like an addiction) satisfy those urges. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it certainly isn't black and white and it's not for you, I or anyone else to judge them. If you don't want to meet a "cheater" then dont.
Fair point. I try not to meet people who cheat. Can't stand them. Put on my profile twice that I'm not interested in cheaters, then sometimes when you talk to them, they mention their husbands"
Look op - I wouldn't cheat on anyone and, prior to fab, i've only ever had monogomous relationships. However, the older you get (one would hope) the more life experience you collect and the more you understand the complexities of human relationships, particularly when there are children, mortgages and non-sexual love involved!
As the saying goes - walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you judge them!
And you know why I much prefer fab to dating sites? - Because there are more 'honest' cheats on here than there are on dating sites. Guys on dating sites don't tell you they're married until you've fallen for them - and some women too, I'd imagine! 
If you want to live life on the moral highground, op, i'd suggest fab might not be the ideal place to do it! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And here was me thinking this site would at least encourage tolerance if nothing else.... We are all here because we have gravitated towards this lifestyle, can't we all just get along and exercise our right to pick who we want?
Ha ha ha tolerance on here? Never!!
to be fair all he is doing is stating his preference, he doesn't want to meet married/attached people it doesn't sit well with him,"
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