FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > My interpretation.. right or worng?
My interpretation.. right or worng?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Now I would not class myself as a swinger but I have been using the internet for around 11 years to chat and meet people.
Over that time I have met some really nice people and also experienced 3sums and 4sums and attended a few parties which has led to some good fun.
Now when I was told about swinging sites I thought right this would be great to meet like minded people who like meeting at socials and you can get to know the people you have been chatting to for so long a bit better.. and if any fun was to be had it happend naturally and if by chance it did not go any further then you still had a good time.
Now since I have been chatting on swingers sites it seems to me it is just a 'futher advanced' chat site where you cut out all the wooing and people (male and female) are very direct which can also lead to being damn right rude.
People persume that because you state your likes on profile that you therfore will automatically meet them as they fit the bill of what you're after.. not considering personality or even looks!
My interpretation of swinging is a social gathering of like minded people drinking, chatting, flirting and if a couple or a group of people feel like sexually expressing themselves in front of everyone then we can all watch but only join in if invited.. or better still play as you watch 
Please let me know your thoughts's |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i'm fairly new to the scene and swinging for me is a variety of meeting people socially, meeting people to play, or a combination of the two
i like the social aspect of the forums and have made some good friends through this site.
if there was not a social aspect to swinging then i'd feel like an unpaid prostitute - personal thoughts, not saying that about anyone!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, completely agree, especially with :
"Now since I have been chatting on swingers sites it seems to me it is just a 'futher advanced' chat site where you cut out all the wooing and people (male and female) are very direct which can also lead to being damn right rude.
People persume that because you state your likes on profile that you therfore will automatically meet them as they fit the bill of what you're after.. not considering personality or even looks!
"
Luckily though, the people who think they are owed a shag cos they have mailed someone who fits the bill are the minority and are quickly blocked.
Plenty of decent folk on here (couples, fems, guys and TV's) that are looking for the 'friends with benefits' idea of swinging.
Steve |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have come to the conclusion its different for everyone but there are many common areas. I thought initially it was all sex but i am increasingly seeing the social side and i am liking it better and better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Now I would not class myself as a swinger but I have been using the internet for around 11 years to chat and meet people.
Over that time I have met some really nice people and also experienced 3sums and 4sums and attended a few parties which has led to some good fun.
Now when I was told about swinging sites I thought right this would be great to meet like minded people who like meeting at socials and you can get to know the people you have been chatting to for so long a bit better.. and if any fun was to be had it happend naturally and if by chance it did not go any further then you still had a good time.
Now since I have been chatting on swingers sites it seems to me it is just a 'futher advanced' chat site where you cut out all the wooing and people (male and female) are very direct which can also lead to being damn right rude.
People persume that because you state your likes on profile that you therfore will automatically meet them as they fit the bill of what you're after.. not considering personality or even looks!
My interpretation of swinging is a social gathering of like minded people drinking, chatting, flirting and if a couple or a group of people feel like sexually expressing themselves in front of everyone then we can all watch but only join in if invited.. or better still play as you watch
Please let me know your thoughts's "
Love your portrayal of swinging - this is what it should be like & how we imagined it would be.
The reality is disappointing.
I personally enjoy chatting in the chat room & exchanging messages but as soon as you are even remotely pleasant to someone the whispers start, like when can they meet you & what they'd like to do to you.
I realise that is the primary reason as to why we are all on here but whatever happened to 'hello, how are you?' as opposed to 'get your knickers off!'
We are looking for that elusive first meet but the full on couples are making us doubt whether we should be doing this at all! (I can't even blame the single males who have been more than courteous thus far).
Its hard to build any sort of rapport with anyone when they so obviously see you as their next conquest or yet another notch on their (well used) bed post.
One thing we will never be is a foregone conclusion! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it is exactly what you chose it to be. this is just a wide forum of different people with different tastes and different desires.
if people don't like what you represent or don't agree with it, then they're not for you, doesn't mean no-one will want to play the way you do.
just don't take it to heart because some folk play another tune |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its not treated as a site for likeminded swingers to chat, socialise, and if you connect, even meet, it’s treated by most as a quick shag and hook up site, it doesn’t matter if you visit swinging clubs once a week or more, or attend swinging parties, or even swing with regular playmates, if you don’t meet people from here 24/7 you’re fake  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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completely agree, am quite new and have met some nice people to chat to, but the majority of time its "when can we meet" within 2 or 3 messages if not instantly!! Does seem like most are after a quick shag rather than the social side of swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not treated as a site for likeminded swingers to chat, socialise, and if you connect, even meet, it’s treated by most as a quick shag and hook up site, it doesn’t matter if you visit swinging clubs once a week or more, or attend swinging parties, or even swing with regular playmates, if you don’t meet people from here 24/7 you’re fake "
LOL!!!
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"completely agree, am quite new and have met some nice people to chat to, but the majority of time its "when can we meet" within 2 or 3 messages if not instantly!! Does seem like most are after a quick shag rather than the social side of swinging. "
that only happens if i let it!
i've never given anyone the indication that it will be like that nor does my profile portray that and if a guy gives me the impression that he's after a quicky he soon gets told otherwise.
you're treated by others as you allow them to treat you....as it is in life |
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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago
London |
I guess people are free to use the site as they wish
Some want a social aspect
Some want people to have fun with and feel comfortable, and if that. Involves lots of pre contact the so be it
Others don't require any social contact as the swinging side is put side of their social circle and never the twain shall meet
Each to their own and whatever makes people feel comfortable
We classify ourselves as swingers.. On our own terms and as a wise man once said..
The world don't move to the beat of just one drum.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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behavior, in which partners in a committed relationship agree, as a couple, for both partners to engage in sexual activities with other people, sometimes referred to as recreational or social sex.
Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from a spontaneous sexual activity at an informal social gathering of friends to a swingers' club and can involve internet-based introduction services.
As we're on the tinternet or cyber....
Let's not forget that!
Paddy xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"behavior, in which partners in a committed relationship agree, as a couple, for both partners to engage in sexual activities with other people, sometimes referred to as recreational or social sex.
Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from a spontaneous sexual activity at an informal social gathering of friends to a swingers' club and can involve internet-based introduction services.
As we're on the tinternet or cyber....
Let's not forget that!
Paddy xx
"
The above has been lifted wholesale from Wiki and, as definition of swinging in a Fab context, is little short of useless.
"partners in a committed relationship" Do they have to be in a committed relationship? Plenty of fuck buddies on Fab and on the scene elsewhere.
"as a couple" Does it have to be a couple? Plenty of singles of either gender (or both) on Fab and on the scene elsewhere.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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for me its a whole combination of things. I like the fact you can meet someone and it's obvious why you are both together. No having to buy fine wines and belgian chocolates (though am sure that would help!) , so as long as it feels right you can leap into action! No awkwardness after either, no "oh i will call you" type stuff etc.
It feels so good to be relaxed and at ease with what amounts to an almost complete stranger. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"for me its a whole combination of things. I like the fact you can meet someone and it's obvious why you are both together. No having to buy fine wines and belgian chocolates (though am sure that would help!) , so as long as it feels right you can leap into action! No awkwardness after either, no "oh i will call you" type stuff etc.
It feels so good to be relaxed and at ease with what amounts to an almost complete stranger."
Agree with you to a certain degree but until you meet that person in the flesh you are still not 100% certain either party will sleep with one another even though it is obvious why have decided to meet.
Sex comes from attraction and not just physically. You need to be able to click with the person/persons are meeting.
In essence no matter how long you have been chatting to someone online or on the phone you are strangers when you first meet... so that part is exciting to see what happens! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i totally agree, which is why I said "if it feels right"
I have met one or two people both expecting to go back to her place and I simply didnt fancy her when i met her so had a nice drink and politely declined to take it any further. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Now I would not class myself as a swinger but I have been using the internet for around 11 years to chat and meet people.
Over that time I have met some really nice people and also experienced 3sums and 4sums and attended a few parties which has led to some good fun.
Now when I was told about swinging sites I thought right this would be great to meet like minded people who like meeting at socials and you can get to know the people you have been chatting to for so long a bit better.. and if any fun was to be had it happend naturally and if by chance it did not go any further then you still had a good time.
Now since I have been chatting on swingers sites it seems to me it is just a 'futher advanced' chat site where you cut out all the wooing and people (male and female) are very direct which can also lead to being damn right rude.
People persume that because you state your likes on profile that you therfore will automatically meet them as they fit the bill of what you're after.. not considering personality or even looks!
My interpretation of swinging is a social gathering of like minded people drinking, chatting, flirting and if a couple or a group of people feel like sexually expressing themselves in front of everyone then we can all watch but only join in if invited.. or better still play as you watch
Please let me know your thoughts's
Love your portrayal of swinging - this is what it should be like & how we imagined it would be.
The reality is disappointing.
I personally enjoy chatting in the chat room & exchanging messages but as soon as you are even remotely pleasant to someone the whispers start, like when can they meet you & what they'd like to do to you.
I realise that is the primary reason as to why we are all on here but whatever happened to 'hello, how are you?' as opposed to 'get your knickers off!'
We are looking for that elusive first meet but the full on couples are making us doubt whether we should be doing this at all! (I can't even blame the single males who have been more than courteous thus far).
Its hard to build any sort of rapport with anyone when they so obviously see you as their next conquest or yet another notch on their (well used) bed post.
One thing we will never be is a foregone conclusion! "
Unfortunately in life nothing is how we like to imagine.
I have also seen in the rooms experienced couples being full on with newbies... I do not think this is the best way to relax someone!
I talk to people in the chat rooms the same way I would in real life.. I like to keep things real so if was to meet someone they would turn around and say.. hey you are no different to talk to on chat!
You have now given me an idea for a new topic! |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
When I first came into swinging on another site is wasinitially for chat. I knew nothing about swinging and a friend mentioned it. Before I could learn more about it I had to do a profile...which is fair enough. I then got into the chat room and my life opened up.
The socail side was amazing. I then got a cam and that assisted by people seeing my face and expression and my personality came out on cam.
After that meets began to happen and then eventually I realised I was bi. Many situations in my adult life then became obvious that it was all leading up to me realising that I was bi.
Now on this site I dont go into chat as never enough time really and not got used to the chat room here but do get to meet some locvely people.
For me it was deffinately the social side that started me off. |
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