FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Time wasters
Time wasters
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I often have several meets a day, when my kids are at school.
Not everyone is here for meets, but you can guarantee the ones who are also have a hard time choosing who to meet up with, and we also get messed about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people on ere are looking for meets??? I reckon about 35% really the time wasters are making this site bad  whats other thoughts "
Maybe you are short of meets because you have a partner?
Does she know? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not had a no show but have had a few guys (probably Pic collecting wankers) that arrange a meet with us send face pics all ggod, still want to meet, they keep in touch asking if all ok , Whats Bev wearing etc then day before meeting they go all quiet, no reply to mails, not even a message to say they don't want to meet.
Couldn't care less if they didn't want to meet but a nice honest message to say and we could of arranged someone else. but that's all part and parcel of Fabs |
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Yes, that's what irritates me the most, not only have we wasted time talking to them but we could have met someone who was genuinely interested.
Our time together is limited, it's very frustrating when people don't show basic manners. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people on ere are looking for meets??? I reckon about 35% really the time wasters are making this site bad whats other thoughts "
We're not looking for meets as we are new to this, not here to waste anyone's time.
If you don't like our profile don't contact us, how much time have we wasted of yours?
What does ruin the site is pushy single males trying to pressure people to meet!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really don't get that either, why do men pretend to be a couple or a woman? It's really sad."
for the same reason they pretend to arrange a meet then go quiet on the day.
Most are pic collecting wankers, they stand out a mile genuine guys are more interested in arranging the meet, the pic collectors want story of what Bev enjoys, what shes done how many guys, all this with constant requests for more pics, we only send a face pic bur doesn't stop them.
they ruin things for the serious guys out there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Define a time wastes to me that's someone who r yeah yeah yeah let's meet them don't show.
It looks to me as though to the op a time wastes is anyone that dont want to do anything but meet
So by that account I would be a time wastes yeah I am not member verify does that alone make me a time wastes???
I have no desire to meet anyone as it stands
In regards to why some ppl set up fake accounts I do have an idea why they do especially single blokes .and I also get why they pretending to be a cpl or female am sure if you thought about it for more than a few mins you could also work it out
Have fun stay safe and happy swinging ppl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Way too many time wasters on here. Chat for ages arrange meets, then the day before they bottle it & remove themselves off of friends list, is one example.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really don't get that either, why do men pretend to be a couple or a woman? It's really sad."
A lot of sad, married men? Alot of the single men....like the OP... cannot accomodate. Often the assumption is they are not so single really!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really don't get that either, why do men pretend to be a couple or a woman? It's really sad.
A lot of sad, married men? Alot of the single men....like the OP... cannot accomodate. Often the assumption is they are not so single really!!"
Shame some people jump to conclusions. They may have kids at home, live with others/parents etc or just not want a stranger round their place for whatever reason. Funny how women who cannot accommodate are not seen the same way as men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really don't get that either, why do men pretend to be a couple or a woman? It's really sad.
A lot of sad, married men? Alot of the single men....like the OP... cannot accomodate. Often the assumption is they are not so single really!!"
Disagree a tad, cant accommodate Im not too concerned with, there are many reason why couples, females males TV's cant accommodate, may have kids at home, house share, living with parents, or like us may not want strangers in our home, we like to keep this part of our life separate from our normal life, so think it wrong to assume this |
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"I really don't get that either, why do men pretend to be a couple or a woman? It's really sad.
for the same reason they pretend to arrange a meet then go quiet on the day.
Most are pic collecting wankers, they stand out a mile genuine guys are more interested in arranging the meet, the pic collectors want story of what Bev enjoys, what shes done how many guys, all this with constant requests for more pics, we only send a face pic bur doesn't stop them.
they ruin things for the serious guys out there"
once you spot the signs of constant demands for more and more photos then you realise you're dealing with fantasists and not genuine people, so then you get to recognise when you're dealing with them and can distinguish them from decent guys Who ask a whole bunch of different questions ..
Therefore it doesn't ruin it for us at all once you have spotted the signs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Way too many time wasters on here. Chat for ages arrange meets, then the day before they bottle it & remove themselves off of friends list, is one example. "
The only timewaster in that situation is yourself.the so called time waster has a achieved his/her objective.to mess you about.
You have wasted time allowing your time to be wasted.choose who you reply to more carefully.you can usually tell after the first 3 or 4 messages wether you think the other person is genuine with their I tentions |
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"I really don't get that either, why do men pretend to be a couple or a woman? It's really sad.
A lot of sad, married men? Alot of the single men....like the OP... cannot accomodate. Often the assumption is they are not so single really!!
Shame some people jump to conclusions. They may have kids at home, live with others/parents etc or just not want a stranger round their place for whatever reason. Funny how women who cannot accommodate are not seen the same way as men."
Yeah, why automatically assume they're married? There's too much obsession with people's marital status around here  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Way too many time wasters on here. Chat for ages arrange meets, then the day before they bottle it & remove themselves off of friends list, is one example. "
thats not time wasting.... they changed their minds
they let you know, and you are not doing anything you wouldn't have been doing anyway (probably being on here trying to arrange a meet)
see... its very easy to throw out that accusation...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Way too many time wasters on here. Chat for ages arrange meets, then the day before they bottle it & remove themselves off of friends list, is one example.
thats not time wasting.... they changed their minds
they let you know, and you are not doing anything you wouldn't have been doing anyway (probably being on here trying to arrange a meet)
see... its very easy to throw out that accusation...... "
Totally agree, your time hasn't been wasted. They chatted for a bit and for whatever reason they found you weren't for them or life got in the way etc. Your time is only truly wasted if you arrange a meet, time and place, sort time off or child care etc, spend time getting ready and travel to the venue only to have a no show with no explaination or contact. |
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We've had two cancel on us at last minute...shit happens...we've had to cancel also because of random illness,or mother nature makes an unprecedented visit twice in a month...grrr...however we have messaged when we've had to cancel.only happened twice.as long as you are honest,and let people know with plenty of time then its all good as far as I'm concerned. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Way too many time wasters on here. Chat for ages arrange meets, then the day before they bottle it & remove themselves off of friends list, is one example.
thats not time wasting.... they changed their minds
they let you know, and you are not doing anything you wouldn't have been doing anyway (probably being on here trying to arrange a meet)
see... its very easy to throw out that accusation......
Totally agree, your time hasn't been wasted. They chatted for a bit and for whatever reason they found you weren't for them or life got in the way etc. Your time is only truly wasted if you arrange a meet, time and place, sort time off or child care etc, spend time getting ready and travel to the venue only to have a no show with no explaination or contact."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree with most here if someone cancels even at last minute, if they let you know we wouldnt class them as timewasters something unavoidable has got in the way and thats life,
What i consider a timewaster is someone who we have arranged a meet over a period of time swapped pics they keep mailing asking if meet still ok and on day of meet they do not show, do not mail to inform they are not coming yet you see them on fabs but stop communicating think that is what we would class as timewasting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is what it is on fab .
Some see timewasters as the dreamers who convince you they want to meet and constantly message saying so .... but it never happens .
Others arrange meets and don't show ...
And yes both are timewasters imp
But if you are proactive , sensible and have a more realistic expectation then fab can be brilliant - as it is for us .
We rarely spend time exchanging messages and arranging meets - we go out , say so on our status and have plenty of meets .
Works for us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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love it when percentages are thrown into the post - makes me wonder if hours are spent adding up profiles that say they meet and dont - does it matter what people do here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really don't get that either, why do men pretend to be a couple or a woman? It's really sad.
A lot of sad, married men? Alot of the single men....like the OP... cannot accomodate. Often the assumption is they are not so single really!!
Shame some people jump to conclusions. They may have kids at home, live with others/parents etc or just not want a stranger round their place for whatever reason. Funny how women who cannot accommodate are not seen the same way as men.
Yeah, why automatically assume they're married? There's too much obsession with people's marital status around here "
The obsession seems to be less to do with marital status, but more to do with people cheating on their life partners.
We guess more men get grief than women because less women expose themselves on the Forum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We accordingly have changed our profile, now we just do our thing & don't get into ping long messages with time wasters. Not an accusation or assumption, fact!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is what it is on fab .
Some see timewasters as the dreamers who convince you they want to meet and constantly message saying so .... but it never happens .
Others arrange meets and don't show ...
And yes both are timewasters imp
But if you are proactive , sensible and have a more realistic expectation then fab can be brilliant - as it is for us .
We rarely spend time exchanging messages and arranging meets - we go out , say so on our status and have plenty of meets .
Works for us "
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"Way too many time wasters on here. Chat for ages arrange meets, then the day before they bottle it & remove themselves off of friends list, is one example.
thats not time wasting.... they changed their minds
they let you know, and you are not doing anything you wouldn't have been doing anyway (probably being on here trying to arrange a meet)
see... its very easy to throw out that accusation......
Totally agree, your time hasn't been wasted. They chatted for a bit and for whatever reason they found you weren't for them or life got in the way etc. Your time is only truly wasted if you arrange a meet, time and place, sort time off or child care etc, spend time getting ready and travel to the venue only to have a no show with no explaination or contact."
Agree entirely with this. It is easy to forget that you are dealing with real people - and unfortunately these people have a life outside fab which has a tendency to get in the way now and then. Also people can lose their bottle if they are doing something outside their comfort zone. Being let down at the last minute without explanation is wrong - but people not performing to your particular expectations is just life. Because they don't behave as you want them to doesn't make them time wasters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What I haven't disclosed, is that they actually admitted leading us on, over a long period and bottled it. So that is the reason that I say it wasn't an assumption, but fact! |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"What I haven't disclosed, is that they actually admitted leading us on, over a long period and bottled it. So that is the reason that I say it wasn't an assumption, but fact! "
actually.. that is your side of the story.....
one thing you see especially on here is that there is two sides to every story....
but the more you "disclose" the more petty it really looks.....
dignity.... head held in the air, move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not just mine but another couples from Fans. We actually all ended up meeting at VA's in the end....
I only gave an example of Daydreamers wasting peoples time!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Single can accom . Still get timewasters and lately it seems if your a single guy who hasnt slept with half the site you too are classed as a timewaster! You dnt like us in clubs either but your all happy to invite and involve single women strange how you all chat on these forums like its equal for everyone it plainly isnt! Even if you arrange a meet and they no show AND you report em their still on site ive had couples and single women "timewaste" theres not a lot you can do but move on and try again. Without a vetting service or a ban for timewasting its not gonna change |
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Like me get messages stating met before I haven't wont alway accommodate because got young children here in week but still want to meet at mine when kids in bed weekend maybe if not busy but had few odd timewaster and some keep saying want to meet when u can they dont but that how it work if they dont turn up just block |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not had a no show but have had a few guys (probably Pic collecting wankers) that arrange a meet with us send face pics all ggod, still want to meet, they keep in touch asking if all ok , Whats Bev wearing etc then day before meeting they go all quiet, no reply to mails, not even a message to say they don't want to meet."
I got in to Swinging via going to clubs. I had never heard of this site.
Club going seemed like a good idea at the time. And still seems like a jolly good idea today! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people on ere are looking for meets??? I reckon about 35% really the time wasters are making this site bad whats other thoughts
Maybe you are short of meets because you have a partner?
Does she know? "
Really judgemental. Hilarious. It's none of your business. |
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"Club going seemed like a good idea at the time. And still seems like a jolly good idea today!"
We like going to clubs but our nearest is Aberdeen, so an hour away. Our time at the moment is limited so we can't get to the club together, but we're hoping to fix that soon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Loving this discussion, seems like everyone has different ideas on what constitutes a waste of time. Or even if there is such a thing as wasted time? Very philosophical... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people on ere are looking for meets??? I reckon about 35% really the time wasters are making this site bad whats other thoughts
I'm not looking for meets and clearly state so on my profile so how can I be wasting anyone's time? Yet, I still get mail, manly from single men calling me a timewaster because I replied that I didn't want to meet them, which they would already know if they actually read my very short profile
Exactly.It seems that on Fab a time waster is defined as anyone who doesn't do what you want them to do when you want them to do it. Interestingly we have never encountered time wasters - just people whose expectations don't exactly match our own, in which case we move on "
Sorry thats too simplistic . So a guy who gives plenty notice to request a meet swaps face pics says he likes what he sees, then continually mails asking if all ok for meet right up until point of meet, then when we hear nothing from him after us asking is it still on he reads mails doesnt reply but is online and doesnt respond, you still dont class him as a timewaster. Seems an odd perception. |
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"How many people on ere are looking for meets??? I reckon about 35% really the time wasters are making this site bad whats other thoughts
I'm not looking for meets and clearly state so on my profile so how can I be wasting anyone's time? Yet, I still get mail, manly from single men calling me a timewaster because I replied that I didn't want to meet them, which they would already know if they actually read my very short profile
Exactly.It seems that on Fab a time waster is defined as anyone who doesn't do what you want them to do when you want them to do it. Interestingly we have never encountered time wasters - just people whose expectations don't exactly match our own, in which case we move on
Sorry thats too simplistic . So a guy who gives plenty notice to request a meet swaps face pics says he likes what he sees, then continually mails asking if all ok for meet right up until point of meet, then when we hear nothing from him after us asking is it still on he reads mails doesnt reply but is online and doesnt respond, you still dont class him as a timewaster. Seems an odd perception."
I would definitely class that as a time waster. Happened to us with a couple yesterday |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This seems so unfair to time wasters. They have a right to adhere to Fab cliche no. 1 - Personal Preference. Surely they have the same protection from criticism offered to all others on Fab?
If they get off by making appointments and not turning up then that is their thing. I suggest the solution is to add to the profile preferences section "timewaster". If they filled it in it would only catch out those irritating folk that do not read profiles!
Win win, yes?  |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"How many people on ere are looking for meets??? I reckon about 35% really the time wasters are making this site bad whats other thoughts
I'm not looking for meets and clearly state so on my profile so how can I be wasting anyone's time? Yet, I still get mail, manly from single men calling me a timewaster because I replied that I didn't want to meet them, which they would already know if they actually read my very short profile
Exactly.It seems that on Fab a time waster is defined as anyone who doesn't do what you want them to do when you want them to do it. Interestingly we have never encountered time wasters - just people whose expectations don't exactly match our own, in which case we move on
Sorry thats too simplistic . So a guy who gives plenty notice to request a meet swaps face pics says he likes what he sees, then continually mails asking if all ok for meet right up until point of meet, then when we hear nothing from him after us asking is it still on he reads mails doesnt reply but is online and doesnt respond, you still dont class him as a timewaster. Seems an odd perception."
Perhaps you are the ultra confident type that never chickens out of anything. It is one thing to indulge in the excitement of the thought of fulfilling a fantasy and another to indulge that fantasy. We drove past the door of our first swingers club several times on different occasions before we plucked up the courage to go in so we know the feelings. We are dealing with real people who might not be as confident or experienced as many of us. It is simplistic to label them all as time wasters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people on ere are looking for meets??? I reckon about 35% really the time wasters are making this site bad whats other thoughts
I'm not looking for meets and clearly state so on my profile so how can I be wasting anyone's time? Yet, I still get mail, manly from single men calling me a timewaster because I replied that I didn't want to meet them, which they would already know if they actually read my very short profile
Exactly.It seems that on Fab a time waster is defined as anyone who doesn't do what you want them to do when you want them to do it. Interestingly we have never encountered time wasters - just people whose expectations don't exactly match our own, in which case we move on
Sorry thats too simplistic . So a guy who gives plenty notice to request a meet swaps face pics says he likes what he sees, then continually mails asking if all ok for meet right up until point of meet, then when we hear nothing from him after us asking is it still on he reads mails doesnt reply but is online and doesnt respond, you still dont class him as a timewaster. Seems an odd perception.
Perhaps you are the ultra confident type that never chickens out of anything. It is one thing to indulge in the excitement of the thought of fulfilling a fantasy and another to indulge that fantasy. We drove past the door of our first swingers club several times on different occasions before we plucked up the courage to go in so we know the feelings. We are dealing with real people who might not be as confident or experienced as many of us. It is simplistic to label them all as time wasters. "
One had 37 verifications the others had 2 or 3, we rarely meet guys who dont have veris so we cant consider them as newbies and shy can we especially guy with 37 hell hes a veteran lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people on ere are looking for meets??? I reckon about 35% really the time wasters are making this site bad whats other thoughts
I'm not looking for meets and clearly state so on my profile so how can I be wasting anyone's time? Yet, I still get mail, manly from single men calling me a timewaster because I replied that I didn't want to meet them, which they would already know if they actually read my very short profile
Exactly.It seems that on Fab a time waster is defined as anyone who doesn't do what you want them to do when you want them to do it. Interestingly we have never encountered time wasters - just people whose expectations don't exactly match our own, in which case we move on
Sorry thats too simplistic . So a guy who gives plenty notice to request a meet swaps face pics says he likes what he sees, then continually mails asking if all ok for meet right up until point of meet, then when we hear nothing from him after us asking is it still on he reads mails doesnt reply but is online and doesnt respond, you still dont class him as a timewaster. Seems an odd perception.
Perhaps you are the ultra confident type that never chickens out of anything. It is one thing to indulge in the excitement of the thought of fulfilling a fantasy and another to indulge that fantasy. We drove past the door of our first swingers club several times on different occasions before we plucked up the courage to go in so we know the feelings. We are dealing with real people who might not be as confident or experienced as many of us. It is simplistic to label them all as time wasters. "
Please don't say that on your numerous drives past the club, that you had arranged to meet couples there,  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also we can understan chickening out as you put it but they could still send a mail saying they changed mind particularly as they were still on fabs chatting away, sorry but on these occasions they were timewasters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also we can understan chickening out as you put it but they could still send a mail saying they changed mind particularly as they were still on fabs chatting away, sorry but on these occasions they were timewasters"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I haven't disclosed, is that they actually admitted leading us on, over a long period and bottled it. So that is the reason that I say it wasn't an assumption, but fact! "
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"Loving this discussion, seems like everyone has different ideas on what constitutes a waste of time. Or even if there is such a thing as wasted time? Very philosophical... "
perhaps foregone or sacrificed opportunities would be a better way of expressing the sentiment behind time wasting as it seems to be perceived by most people on here, and with which I agree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people on ere are looking for meets??? I reckon about 35% really the time wasters are making this site bad whats other thoughts
Maybe you are short of meets because you have a partner?
Does she know?
Really judgemental. Hilarious. It's none of your business. "
Judgemental??
Where??
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By *aeganaWoman
over a year ago
birmingham |
I find it annoying when ive arranged a meet guy messages sayin they will be there and so on and then there a no show no messages don't answer or nothing spec when I have to get a babysitter. Would be easier if people were straight up specially when they ask you to meet them I don't get it at times. |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"How many people on ere are looking for meets??? I reckon about 35% really the time wasters are making this site bad whats other thoughts
I'm not looking for meets and clearly state so on my profile so how can I be wasting anyone's time? Yet, I still get mail, manly from single men calling me a timewaster because I replied that I didn't want to meet them, which they would already know if they actually read my very short profile
Exactly.It seems that on Fab a time waster is defined as anyone who doesn't do what you want them to do when you want them to do it. Interestingly we have never encountered time wasters - just people whose expectations don't exactly match our own, in which case we move on
Sorry thats too simplistic . So a guy who gives plenty notice to request a meet swaps face pics says he likes what he sees, then continually mails asking if all ok for meet right up until point of meet, then when we hear nothing from him after us asking is it still on he reads mails doesnt reply but is online and doesnt respond, you still dont class him as a timewaster. Seems an odd perception.
Perhaps you are the ultra confident type that never chickens out of anything. It is one thing to indulge in the excitement of the thought of fulfilling a fantasy and another to indulge that fantasy. We drove past the door of our first swingers club several times on different occasions before we plucked up the courage to go in so we know the feelings. We are dealing with real people who might not be as confident or experienced as many of us. It is simplistic to label them all as time wasters.
Please don't say that on your numerous drives past the club, that you had arranged to meet couples there, "
No we hadn't! We have never prearranged meets at a club. We like surprises |
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Never had a timewaster in the 5 years or so I've been on here.
I have people I've chatted to and not met, people who said they may be at a club if they can then didn't make it and people who have cancelled meets etc. but never a no-show. |
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If you read profiles, it's usually easier to see who's actively looking for meets, those taking a break or here for social reasons.
There are some people who are more in demand and they're not time wasters, merely more fortunate than single guys who struggle.
Also, it's worth elaborating when you state something like timewaster - how has your time been wasted? If it's people who have set up a meet and not followed through, there are lots of reasons.
Single men can expect to chat with far more females, couples etc than they will meet, as there is a selection and vetting process underway. None of that is time wasting, it's intelligent use of all parties' time, as well matched people are better than badly matched social or play meets. Better to get 1 in 100 right, than have 90/100 that are lousy and give you northing that's satisfying.
As I said, op should qualify what he has had his time wasted with by others, so that we understand better. |
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