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Let's all share a joke for the weekend
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My next door neighbours were having noisy sex last night....
I heard her say, "If you turn the lamp off, you can shove it up my arse".
I heard a click and then an almighty scream....
He says in hindsight, he should have waited for the bulb to cool down a bit first! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Chap meets a woman on an plane, she informs him she has just returned from a nymphomaniacs convention !!! She says our survey suggests the native american indians have the biggest cocks and the scots make the best lovers. Then she introduces herself as Wendy, on shaking her hand he replies hiya Wendy, I'm Tonto McTavish !!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Read this one on here;
I was fucking a cheating wife on the kitchen table wen we heard a door shut at the front of the house she said "quick use the back door" so i did cant refuse an offer like that! I shouldve ran he was a big bloke |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was shagging a bird real hard and she said to me, bloody hell, when's the last time you had sex? I said , about a month ago, I've been an in patient at the clap clinic, blimey she said, what's the good like? I'm going in tommorow ! |
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By *ackspopCouple
over a year ago
Wymondham |
Young lad, 18 leaves college and is looking for a job. Walks past a shop, and sees a sign: "Help wanted, apply within. Must have a good sense of smell"
So, he goes in and says "I'm here about the job you have going"
Shopkeeper ever so camply replies "Oooooh goody. Right, blindfold on, have a sniff of this."
So, our lad puts the blindfold on and says "ready"
"Lovely" says the man.. "Right, what's this?" and he holds out an orange.
"That's easy" says the lad, "It's an orange"
"well done" purrs the man.. "So what's this?" he says, placing a banana under the lad's nose.
"Easy Peasy" says the lad, "It's a Banana"
"Oooooh you are good!" squeals the man. "Now, what about this?"...
A while later, the lad wakes up and says "what the fuck was that?"
"Chloroform" says the man "and doesn't it make your arse sting?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Young lad, 18 leaves college and is looking for a job. Walks past a shop, and sees a sign: "Help wanted, apply within. Must have a good sense of smell"
So, he goes in and says "I'm here about the job you have going"
Shopkeeper ever so camply replies "Oooooh goody. Right, blindfold on, have a sniff of this."
So, our lad puts the blindfold on and says "ready"
"Lovely" says the man.. "Right, what's this?" and he holds out an orange.
"That's easy" says the lad, "It's an orange"
"well done" purrs the man.. "So what's this?" he says, placing a banana under the lad's nose.
"Easy Peasy" says the lad, "It's a Banana"
"Oooooh you are good!" squeals the man. "Now, what about this?"...
A while later, the lad wakes up and says "what the fuck was that?"
"Chloroform" says the man "and doesn't it make your arse sting?"" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My neighbours must have had a serious crisis last night. They came running to my house at 3am and were almost banging my door down..
Good thing I was up practicing my bagpipes. |
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