FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > do people go to clubs with no intention of playing?
do people go to clubs with no intention of playing?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do some people get a kick from just attending a club?
Maybe they just like to look or get a thrill being in the environment.
Do people do this, do you?? |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
! go to clubs with the intention of having a good time.... whether that involves playing or not doesn't end up determining if i have had a good night or not....
some nights i find people that i may like to play with... others i don't......
some of my best nights in clubs have been chatting away for hours not even realising what the time is..... and by the time you get round to thinking about it... night is over.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"! go to clubs with the intention of having a good time.... whether that involves playing or not doesn't end up determining if i have had a good night or not....
some nights i find people that i may like to play with... others i don't......
some of my best nights in clubs have been chatting away for hours not even realising what the time is..... and by the time you get round to thinking about it... night is over...."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've only been to one club once, just to check out the scene. We had no intention of playing.
If I went again, I'd consider playing if someone took my fancy, but otherwise it'd just be a normal night out with like-minded people.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would be a dissapointment if there was no one we wanted to play with or vice versa .
We wouldn't dream of going to a club with no intention of playing , but that's just us and as we are only too aware , our way is not to everyones taste .
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"! go to clubs with the intention of having a good time.... whether that involves playing or not doesn't end up determining if i have had a good night or not....
some nights i find people that i may like to play with... others i don't......
some of my best nights in clubs have been chatting away for hours not even realising what the time is..... and by the time you get round to thinking about it... night is over...."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just go to meet new people and chat and if play start, It just add to the night .. I just never know what may happen ... I have been to clubs and end up parties after . Just nice to be around different people I find. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've been with the sole intention being to watch events unfold in the play areas. Sometimes we have a need to just be voyeuristic and indulge accordingly. Live porn if you like.......  |
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When we took a break from swinging last year we still went to our local club about once a month, mainly because it is a good night out and got to keep in touch with friends there.
I never go to a club with the expectation of playing, if there is someone there I like, all good. If not I can still have a great night. For me swinging isn't just about sex and how many notches I can get on my bedpost, a large part of it is social. |
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By *unPeteMan
over a year ago
Near Bristol |
As a single male I find clubs are great places to meet people, chat and laugh, and hopefully stay in touch with a view to meeting again.
Personally I've play 50% of my visits but the 50% where I haven't played have been fun too ... it's a night out with similar minded people, lots of attractive women walking around and a sexy charged atmosphere which stays with me for days !  |
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"Do some people get a kick from just attending a club?
Maybe they just like to look or get a thrill being in the environment.
Do people do this, do you?? "
I have been to socials at clubs.. that is all I go for. no particular thrill . I like meeting new people.
Kestrels Is also a naturist club. You are not obliged to play. I enjoy going there with friends too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
Yes sometimes we have been to couples only nights to see friends either to catch up,celebrate birthdays ect
We don't play with couples so on those nights we don't play  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"Yes sometimes we have been to couples only nights to see friends either to catch up,celebrate birthdays ect
We don't play with couples so on those nights we don't play "
I have to add.....no kick involved,no voyeur tendencies either,I have no interest in what other people are doing at a club in a sexual sense unless they interest me sexually and on a couples night that won't happen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only been to a club a few years ago. Was really nervous and didn't know what to expect and had no expectations. Was certainly an eye opener lol. If I go to another, which I'm hoping to do soon, I'd very much like to get involved, if nerves allow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never go to clubs with any intentions, there have been many times where I have done nothing simply because that's how the night has panned out, even if you do want to play that does not mean you will find anyone
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm planning my first club visit this year (eurekas eek!) as a single male. I'm quite nervous as a first timer single and have no expectation of play. I do hope to meet people, have fun, have a few drinks and just get a feel for the place/scene |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"! go to clubs with the intention of having a good time.... whether that involves playing or not doesn't end up determining if i have had a good night or not....
some nights i find people that i may like to play with... others i don't......
some of my best nights in clubs have been chatting away for hours not even realising what the time is..... and by the time you get round to thinking about it... night is over...."
Absolutely me too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes we go hopeing to play. but that does not mean we will. if the situation is not right. not going to just shag anyone just for the hell of it. things have to feel right, |
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We go for the fun! Whenever we've planned to go and play, it hasn't panned out that way, so (unless it's for a 2nd meet!) we always go prepared but not expecting. As often as not we just enjoy watching others play, or exercise our own exhibitionist streak and play for others to watch.
Certainly going to the club without an expectation is a good thing, that way you're not disappointed about what doesn't happen, you're only pleased by what does! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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From our point of view.
We have no expectations either way.
But we would not go to not play if That makes sense?
There are cheaper ways of socialising.
But we would not expect it.
We would play together, either in public or alone.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We go to socialise, with like minded people. We enjoy the relaxed atmosphere, we have played at a club, but it's rare if I'm honest. No particular reason. We just tend to get carried away nattering, and laughing, and generally enjoying the night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We always go with intention of not swapping, but love being watched, we relax in the jaccuzi, chat to others then head into play areas to have fun and be watched. "
same for us we love to people watch and be watched of course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When we attend club always go with open minded night out with unlike many no pre arranged meet there so have no intention what's so ever whether they are yes or no to playing depends who's there takes our fancy lol |
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By *onyneMan
over a year ago
Newcastle |
People presumably go to have a good social time and may or may not get more 'involved'...and I doubt people do the same every visit either [as in play/not play]. The social side seems really important for those I know who get along to clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A (Him) took me to a club for the first time about a month ago. He's been before and I haven't. That time was purely social. It may be the same again in the future as we intend to go with the flow.
We'll have to see what happens  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"! go to clubs with the intention of having a good time.... whether that involves playing or not doesn't end up determining if i have had a good night or not....
some nights i find people that i may like to play with... others i don't......
some of my best nights in clubs have been chatting away for hours not even realising what the time is..... and by the time you get round to thinking about it... night is over...."
This sums it up well for us |
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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago
Nr Manchester |
"From our point of view.
We have no expectations either way.
But we would not go to not play if That makes sense?
There are cheaper ways of socialising.
But we would not expect it.
We would play together, either in public or alone.
"
Agree with this and love the near-poetic style.
Him |
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Like many, we go to see what happens. Love watching other couples and being watched ourselves.
We'll always play with each other if no one else, with a teenager at home it's a good place to have some fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We walk out of the door with no intention, we have a laugh and a good night.
If something happens, it happens, if it dont a good laugh and good night has been had.
Her |
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Hoping to go to a bbw night this year in the UK and won't be going with the intention of playing as it's my first time going but I will look forward to the atmosphere and seeing what's going on as well as chatting with people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go to clubs because I love the atmosphere. Sex is not the driving force for me. It's great to watch it all going on without having to take part. There have been many times that we, as a couple, just play together  |
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
We have played with others every time we have been to a club but we go with the idea that if we play with others or with each other it's always a fun night out - no disappointment that way.
We have seen people there who are socialising and watching and they look like they are having fun too so each to their own it's all good. One of the things we were told when we started with clubs was there is no pressure or obligation to do anything..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only meet in clubs, with the intention to play. I have been lucky so far and played each time,tho if I didnt see anyone I was attracted to I wouldn't just play for the sake of it. |
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By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago
Germany / Manchester |
We'll always go to a club or party with the first intention of having a great time. To us, playing is a big bonus but speaking with a variety of people always makes for a great night. -Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hoping to go to a bbw night this year in the UK and won't be going with the intention of playing as it's my first time going but I will look forward to the atmosphere and seeing what's going on as well as chatting with people "
If the majority of this thread is anything to go by , you will be able to see a whole lot of swingers having a good chat . So its just as well you wont be going with the intention of playing !
On a more serious note , aside from a few exceptions , it seems that going to a swingers club is not what one thinks it might be . And although we would
never play just for the sake of it , nor with anyone we didn't fancy , we sure as hell go with a play in mind .
A bit like going to a concert and hoping the band turn up or a football match and actually enjoying the game I guess .....
This thread has highlighted why we stopped going to clubs tbh ... We can enjoy a social any night of the week at our local pub and not get dressed up etc....
It's clearly a scene which seems to attract different opinions and of course that's what it's all about .
There should never be a pressure to play but if the intention is not to play then it just seems plain odd .
We have been in the scene for 4 years now and are no closer to understanding the social side of swinging . For us , we get a free night and like to swing / play and then get on with our life outside of the scene . Running the business , family , etc....
The concept of spending a precious night when we have arranged sitters etc ... driving to a club and spending the night chatting is just not on our radar at all . Yes , we may be dissapointed if nothing happens , and we have been on the odd quiet night in the past . But so many of you genuinely seem to go and have no intention or expectation ! It's any wonder so many swingers don't use clubs ( ourselves included now ) with this social minded attitude
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"Do some people get a kick from just attending a club?
Maybe they just like to look or get a thrill being in the environment.
Do people do this, do you?? "
We hardly ever play at clubs except Eurekas when we stay the weekend, we use clubs to meet people socialise and arrange future meetings at theirs or our home.
You may find the odd hardcore couples who have to play because they have paid a fee but usually we find people quite relaxed if you they do play or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We go to clubs to be around like minded people where you can share experiences and talk about subjects you couldnt really discuss in a vanilla scenario, we never have expectations as this only leads to disappointment.
If a play scenario presents itself and everyones comfortable then great an added bonus, clubs create and give us swingers an opportunity to do this but at the same time be around like minded people in a great atmosphere.
As the saying goes some will, some wont , so what , move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never have expectations just go with the flow, mix and mingle you are guaranteed to have a good time with like minded genuine swingers.
We all know you will either get involved or watch, but more importantly by end of the night you would have met some really nice people. Possibly keep in contact through Fabs and that is stepping stone to meet them again.
Some people prefer meeting to play straight away. That is ok I have done that, but if you met at social/club then got together for intimate meet that always feels soo much better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do some people get a kick from just attending a club?
Maybe they just like to look or get a thrill being in the environment.
Do people do this, do you?? "
No.
I feel very cynical but I didn't get to play yesterday, maybe coincidental, maybe I really HAVE become too picky for my own good!
Anyway, the morning after, in reflection, I tell myself that next time I just have to jump on the first, half decent bloke I see... BEFORE he opens his mouth! Honestly, the gender stereotyped bullshit a girl has to listen to at times... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think as a single guy you have to go with the intention of it being more social in a sexual enviroment.if opportunity to play arises then it's a bonus. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...You may find the odd hardcore couples who have to play because they have paid a fee..."
Are you sure this is true?
I may not be part of a couple, but I am sure my desire to play is more attached to my sex drive than to my purse / wallet. |
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"I'm planning my first club visit this year (eurekas eek!) as a single male. I'm quite nervous as a first timer single and have no expectation of play. I do hope to meet people, have fun, have a few drinks and just get a feel for the place/scene "
I go just to sunbathe sometimes, it's very sociable and relaxed during the day at weekends.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...You may find the odd hardcore couples who have to play because they have paid a fee...Are you sure this is true?
I may not be part of a couple, but I am sure my desire to play is more attached to my sex drive than to my purse / wallet."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go to clubs with no intentions or expectations other than to have a chilled relaxing time. If play happens then great but if not I do not count it as a disastrous night.
There isn't always going to be someone there that catches my eye or wants to play with me more to the point! It's nice to just be around like minded people |
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Over the years I have been to a few clubs (always with a FB) and some people seem happy to watch or the ladies dress up sexily and play on the pole
Whatever floats your boat !
When we go we have no expectations but will always play together as we liked to be watched |
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"I go to clubs with no intentions or expectations other than to have a chilled relaxing time. If play happens then great but if not I do not count it as a disastrous night.
There isn't always going to be someone there that catches my eye or wants to play with me more to the point! It's nice to just be around like minded people "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we go to clubs and sometimes dont get to play due to lack of rooms - but not often - love the vibe of a club and is where my boundaries are crossed mostly - the atmosphere is so fkn horny Sx |
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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago
Nr Manchester |
"My friend wants to take me to my first club. I'm super nervous, but she said we can have fun just watching and talking to people.  "
Your friend is soooo right!
There's never any pressure to play.
Just go to soak up the atmosphere. X |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
I quickly learned on the scene unless its an arranged meet there's little point going to a xlubr with any expectation to play. Just enjoy the night, the company, and what will be will be. Some if those have been my best nights out, even when not played. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My friend wants to take me to my first club. I'm super nervous, but she said we can have fun just watching and talking to people.
Your friend is soooo right!
There's never any pressure to play.
Just go to soak up the atmosphere. X "
I hear their is sometimes cake... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Anyway, the morning after, in reflection, I tell myself that next time I just have to jump on the first, half decent bloke I see... BEFORE he opens his mouth! Honestly, the gender stereotyped bullshit a girl has to listen to at times..."
Been thinking...
Maybe I should just invest money in a gag, enter a club, spot said half decent / fully decent bloke and just signal to him to wear the gag. Tease him a bit and then sit on him until, you know...
Could I get away with that? Without scaring him, without being mistaken for a BDSMer (just because I'm not) and eventually anywhere in the club he's sitting in that moment, even in the social / bar areas?
If YES, where can I buy a cheap, male size gag? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do some people get a kick from just attending a club?
Maybe they just like to look or get a thrill being in the environment.
Do people do this, do you?? "
Yes I haven't got to the point where I'm ready to play and go to club just to socialise.
I'm making some amazing friends, and we can talk openly about what we like.
Xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Plenty of people enjoy the social aspect of visiting a club and that's enough for them, you can (in many) have a dance, drink and meet like minded people without the kind of hassle you often see in busy city centre nightclubs and pubs.
We go with every intention of playing but with zero expectations, if we are lucky enough to meet people who we want to play with (and who want to play with us) then that's brilliant, but if not we're more than capable of having fun together any way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Plenty of people enjoy the social aspect of visiting a club and that's enough for them, you can (in many) have a dance, drink and meet like minded people without the kind of hassle you often see in busy city centre nightclubs and pubs.
We go with every intention of playing but with zero expectations, if we are lucky enough to meet people who we want to play with (and who want to play with us) then that's brilliant, but if not we're more than capable of having fun together any way. "
You make a very good point there.
Clubs do feel far safer and people are generally better behaved.
It's not a threatening place like a city pub or club. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We go to clubs prepared to play with others but, looking back, on most occasions we haven't. Still had a great time with one another, though
We have encountered many people with the attitude that if you go to a club you should play, and if you don't you're a timewaster or poseur. A very weird way of thinking, we reckon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From our point of view.
We have no expectations either way.
But we would not go to not play if That makes sense?
There are cheaper ways of socialising.
But we would not expect it.
We would play together, either in public or alone.
"
Have to totally agree with this, sums us up perfectly too |
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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago
Nr Manchester |
"My friend wants to take me to my first club. I'm super nervous, but she said we can have fun just watching and talking to people.
Your friend is soooo right!
There's never any pressure to play.
Just go to soak up the atmosphere. X
I hear their is sometimes cake... "
Yes, if I'm around there is sometimes chocolate too! Chocolate cake is the best of both worlds.
Chocolate sauce is in a world of its own!!!  |
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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago
Dorset |
Some on here seem to think that going to a club entitles you to play with anyone in there, and that paying to get in and just socialising is somehow wasting their time and money, that is why they stopped going to clubs, ok that's their choice, not sure they will be missed much anyway, if there is too much socialising going on, how comes the play rooms are always so busy ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some on here seem to think that going to a club entitles you to play with anyone in there, and that paying to get in and just socialising is somehow wasting their time and money, that is why they stopped going to clubs, ok that's their choice, not sure they will be missed much anyway, if there is too much socialising going on, how comes the play rooms are always so busy ?"
Interesting thoughts and worth a response .
We certainly never mentioned entitlement .
Nor did we suggest a night without playing was a waste of money .
The comment you made about playrooms being busy can only be an observation you have made on a Saturday night , although we haven't been to your area .
We accept that we may not be traditional in the social sense and that's our choice . However your assumption that people like us won't be missed is just rude and way off the mark .
There are plenty of folk who do like the idea of going to a club to play , and couples like us help them get that experience . From nervous newbies to the more hardened , we have had some tremendous nights at clubs . These experiences have been equally as enjoyable for our playmates too as anyone could see from our previous profile which had plenty of club night veri's on it
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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago
Dorset |
Your the one posting that you don't go to clubs anymore because of people who go with no intention of playing, our post is our opinion and in our opinion we wouldn't miss someone who makes that choice, if you have taken this personally that's your choice ... did we say we meant you. |
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We love going to our local club, Isis in Leeds. Sometimes we play, sometimes we don't, it really depends who else is in there. We like the social side of swinging aswell as playing, so sometimes we'll just sit and chat to people. Either way we always have a good night, it's a sexy atmosphere and A gets to dress up in her sexiest outfits. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've only ever been to a couple of clubs and i've always played, But I wonder if it's ever frowned upon! if a guy refuses to play if asked by a couple/female in a club?? |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"I've only ever been to a couple of clubs and i've always played, But I wonder if it's ever frowned upon! if a guy refuses to play if asked by a couple/female in a club??"
why would it be frowned upon... do we not get a say in who we play with as much as anyone else? |
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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago
Northamptonshire |
"I've only ever been to a couple of clubs and i've always played, But I wonder if it's ever frowned upon! if a guy refuses to play if asked by a couple/female in a club??
why would it be frowned upon... do we not get a say in who we play with as much as anyone else?"
Exactly, it's about being polite and tactful if you decline an offer to play. Also, taking it in good grace when it happens to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've only ever been to a couple of clubs and i've always played, But I wonder if it's ever frowned upon! if a guy refuses to play if asked by a couple/female in a club??
why would it be frowned upon... do we not get a say in who we play with as much as anyone else?
Exactly, it's about being polite and tactful if you decline an offer to play. Also, taking it in good grace when it happens to you."
Totally agree with this, as a newbie on here I am learning as I go along with every meet. Sometimes you need to decline and it will happen to everyone at some point. No one should take it too personally after all it's just swinging |
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"Do some people get a kick from just attending a club?
Maybe they just like to look or get a thrill being in the environment.
Do people do this, do you?? "
We do both sometimes - enjoy the thrill and go home for great sex, enjoy the thrill and have great sex on our own, enjoy the thrill and have great sex with others!
It depends on our mood, the ambiance in the Club and whether we click with people - but we always manage to have a great time |
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"! go to clubs with the intention of having a good time.... whether that involves playing or not doesn't end up determining if i have had a good night or not....
some nights i find people that i may like to play with... others i don't......
some of my best nights in clubs have been chatting away for hours not even realising what the time is..... and by the time you get round to thinking about it... night is over...."
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At the moment im taking a break from the sexual side of swinging due to pregnancy but i do still occassionally go to la chambre to socialise with friends ive made there and have a little flirty banter. But i have played there in the past and will again in the future. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do some people get a kick from just attending a club?
Maybe they just like to look or get a thrill being in the environment.
Do people do this, do you?? "
I go with an open mind and legs if the mood takes me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just go to a club intending to have fun - whatever that entails! Sometimes I play but sometimes I just chat/dance. Depends if I find someone I really fancy who likes me too! I'm very fussy!!
I've never had a bad night yet though - whether i've played or not! xx |
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
"We've been with the sole intention being to watch events unfold in the play areas. Sometimes we have a need to just be voyeuristic and indulge accordingly. Live porn if you like....... "
That's me! I do exactly the same. |
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I don't see point of leaving your house with the intension of watching other people playing.You are better of going to conventional club. I must confess the reason I go to swing club is to meet people for fun. If the chemistry developes further so be it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This has certainly been an interesting discussion for me to read through!
I've wanted to try a club for a long time, but so far I haven't had the courage to walk in all on my own...
I think that, reading the Forum posts on Fab, I'd got the feeling that clubs are full of frustrated horny men who think that just because they've paid quite a lot to get in then they are entitled to jump on any woman who comes through the door - and that's seriously scared me off so far!
But, reading what you have all said, I have new hope and am quite determined to make that first move soon - though it will be just to sit and learn on my first visit...
Thanks to all the interesting folk for your input - it's eased my mind a lot!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id like to go but if I did would need someone to go with and It would most likely be to chat and socialise, find out the lay of the land, so to speak"
I went alone the first many, many months. Back then I would often be the only single woman going on her own, that has changed, luckily!
The club owner did the smart move of introducing me to an easy going couple who were new to swinging too, they understood how I felt being new to it all. I didn't play with anybody for the first couple of times. Instead, as I get quite chatty when I'm nervous I talked for England!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"! go to clubs with the intention of having a good time.... whether that involves playing or not doesn't end up determining if i have had a good night or not....
some nights i find people that i may like to play with... others i don't......
some of my best nights in clubs have been chatting away for hours not even realising what the time is..... and by the time you get round to thinking about it... night is over...."
Our thoughts too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think that, reading the Forum posts on Fab, I'd got the feeling that clubs are full of frustrated horny men who think that just because they've paid quite a lot to get in then they are entitled to jump on any woman who comes through the door"
I might not pay on all nights, or in all clubs, but OH my do I sometimes feel like a frustrated and horny woman in a club full of men! Lately I have seriously been considering jumping on the first man who sat down in the nearest sofa to make sure I FINALLY would get some sex.  With consent, obviously! |
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By *lare GTV/TS
over a year ago
South of Sleaford |
I certainly do not go to to a Swingers' Club with the intention of watching other people playing. I go to meet people, chat and enjoy myself. I feel very safe and accepted in the club I go to even though I am aware that I am not 'everyone's cup of tea'.
I have met some lovely couples and singles and enjoyed some deep and interesting conversations. If I get to play as well that is a bonus.
I need to comment that it is not easy to walk into a club on your own. I have learnt that the staff and owners of clubs keep an eye on new people to make sure that they 'settle'. The same does not happen in a 'conventional' club.
Just my experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A while back I was approached by a friend who owns a rather popular club in London as a new couple were visiting the event for the first time. My task was to chat to them both informally, relax the nerves a bit and then to offer the lady a massage whilst the hubby watched intently.
Upon reflection, the wife certainly enjoyed her relaxed state and went onto enjoy some of the additional benefits of the club atmosphere
I thought it was lovely to be trusted by the ownership of the club and even nicer to make new acquaintances. |
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