FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Women messaging first
Women messaging first
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just had 2 in 4 days!  Dont want to sound like I'm bragging, but it's very unusual for me!
Both really nice messages too.
Very strange...not uploaded any new pics, not updated status, and messages not forum related.
I'm sure this is not so unusual for all guys, but it's got me wondering about others good/bad experiences of first messages?
And women/couples, do you message first and if so, what what normally entices you to send one?
(Appologies in advance, I'm sure there are 1,000001 other threads on the same subject, that I could have looked at, but that way I wouldn't get to revel in my moment of glory  ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't, no
As I said on a thread the other day I used to brows profiles and send messages to men I liked but I never got a single reply from any message I sent first so I gave up and started just replying to men I liked who mailed me first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a few - less than the number of "fuck my wife" ones certainly 
I make a point of replying because it isn't the usual thing on here.
No need to be rude even if it is to say no thanks. |
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By *ipsTeaserCouple
over a year ago
here and there, thereabouts |
General rule of thumb so far is that most single guys I (Tig) message first are the ones that the conversations have gone somewhere with be it friendship or potential meets.
Not to say we dont give single guys that message first a chance, but I think that I am more invested if I've made initial contact maybe..or maybe it's simply because I go looking for what I want  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will message first in the rare occasion that someone catches my eye. They may say something that amuses me on the forum, or has a great profile or hot pics normally... |
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I messaged a guy first a few weeks ago to tell him his pics were amazing. They were and I couldn't help but perv at them lol
He was kind enough to send me a few to keep. Now I don't have to perv through fab |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
If I'm visiting somewhere I like to pre-emptively arrange meets and so message a few guys in advance. Most don't reply (yes guys, its not just women who do that) but I usually get enough interest to fill my evenings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've no issues messaging first and I guess u just don't see it often as most women get enough interest from their received messages...I however am a massive perve and love to browse profiles so do tend to make first moves... 
Enjoy your moment x |
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By *horltzMan
over a year ago
heysham |
"If I'm visiting somewhere I like to pre-emptively arrange meets and so message a few guys in advance. Most don't reply (yes guys, its not just women who do that) but I usually get enough interest to fill my evenings."
Evenings ?? Lol  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"If I'm visiting somewhere I like to pre-emptively arrange meets and so message a few guys in advance. Most don't reply (yes guys, its not just women who do that) but I usually get enough interest to fill my evenings.
Evenings ?? Lol "
My days are already sorted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x"
Nice one! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x"
If only it were that simple for guys... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x"
Not so much a result as a formality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest I find going on web cam in the chat rooms more effective in getting meets, it works much better for me than the message system
I have go in chat and put my cam on many times and arranged meets for that night, I think seeing each other helps |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x"
That's not a result.
Any woman on this site could do that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x
That's not a result.
Any woman on this site could do that."
Not 100% true
Any woman could get a meet within two hours of talking yes but finding a guy you really like enough to mail him first and manage to meet him two hours later isn't so easy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No its rare I message first, I go to couple partys a month so meet lots of people there, so dont need to go hunting, I just use my profile to entice them there
not looking for private meets with strangers so not any need |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x
That's not a result.
Any woman on this site could do that.
Not 100% true
Any woman could get a meet within two hours of talking yes but finding a guy you really like enough to mail him first and manage to meet him two hours later isn't so easy "
Hear hear...finding someone suitable is a pain in the ass, but oh so worth it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x
That's not a result.
Any woman on this site could do that.
Not 100% true
Any woman could get a meet within two hours of talking yes but finding a guy you really like enough to mail him first and manage to meet him two hours later isn't so easy
Hear hear...finding someone suitable is a pain in the ass, but oh so worth it"
Yes, FINDING them is difficult, but once you have, do you seriously think you would struggle to convince them for a fuck? You said yourself, two hours is all it took! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x
That's not a result.
Any woman on this site could do that.
Not 100% true
Any woman could get a meet within two hours of talking yes but finding a guy you really like enough to mail him first and manage to meet him two hours later isn't so easy
Hear hear...finding someone suitable is a pain in the ass, but oh so worth it
Yes, FINDING them is difficult, but once you have, do you seriously think you would struggle to convince them for a fuck? You said yourself, two hours is all it took! "
Took the words right out of my mouth...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x
Not so much a result as a formality."
Nah it took a good few weeks to find him, so it was a result in my opinion. Just because women on here have so much choice, it doesn't make it any easier. Still have to filter through the riff-raff and find those few with the X-factor. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x
That's not a result.
Any woman on this site could do that.
Not 100% true
Any woman could get a meet within two hours of talking yes but finding a guy you really like enough to mail him first and manage to meet him two hours later isn't so easy
Hear hear...finding someone suitable is a pain in the ass, but oh so worth it
Yes, FINDING them is difficult, but once you have, do you seriously think you would struggle to convince them for a fuck? You said yourself, two hours is all it took! "
Who said I had to convince anyone? I went with that in mind, after chatting on WhatsApp I knew what I wanted out of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x
Not so much a result as a formality.
Nah it took a good few weeks to find him, so it was a result in my opinion. Just because women on here have so much choice, it doesn't make it any easier. Still have to filter through the riff-raff and find those few with the X-factor."
Finding them is the only difficult part for you. The rest really is a formality. Do you honestly think a guy is gonna turn around to a woman that looks the way you do and say "Sorry love, not for me"? He probably thought it was his fucking birthday!
For men however, we have to find the woman first, get them to reply second, hold their attention third, arrange a meet fourth, hope they liked us enough for a fuck last. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have, a couple of times.
All have led to sexy, sexy memories.
Fuck it, if I see someone I like, I'll just go for it!
We are related, you're right!"
Told you... Sistas from another mister! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x
Not so much a result as a formality.
Nah it took a good few weeks to find him, so it was a result in my opinion. Just because women on here have so much choice, it doesn't make it any easier. Still have to filter through the riff-raff and find those few with the X-factor.
Finding them is the only difficult part for you. The rest really is a formality. Do you honestly think a guy is gonna turn around to a woman that looks the way you do and say "Sorry love, not for me"? He probably thought it was his fucking birthday!
For men however, we have to find the woman first, get them to reply second, hold their attention third, arrange a meet fourth, hope they liked us enough for a fuck last."
You missed out the second step of crossing your fingers and hoping she actually SEES you message in her inbox, the reading and replying bit comes thirds (well, I suppose it could be both the third and forth steps really). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x
Not so much a result as a formality.
Nah it took a good few weeks to find him, so it was a result in my opinion. Just because women on here have so much choice, it doesn't make it any easier. Still have to filter through the riff-raff and find those few with the X-factor.
Finding them is the only difficult part for you. The rest really is a formality. Do you honestly think a guy is gonna turn around to a woman that looks the way you do and say "Sorry love, not for me"? He probably thought it was his fucking birthday!
For men however, we have to find the woman first, get them to reply second, hold their attention third, arrange a meet fourth, hope they liked us enough for a fuck last.
You missed out the second step of crossing your fingers and hoping she actually SEES you message in her inbox, the reading and replying bit comes thirds (well, I suppose it could be both the third and forth steps really)."
I hear ya, brah. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x
That's not a result.
Any woman on this site could do that.
Not 100% true
Any woman could get a meet within two hours of talking yes but finding a guy you really like enough to mail him first and manage to meet him two hours later isn't so easy
Hear hear...finding someone suitable is a pain in the ass, but oh so worth it"
I'm sure your both starved of meet requests Lol you could of done 30 minutes and they would of been there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x
Not so much a result as a formality.
Nah it took a good few weeks to find him, so it was a result in my opinion. Just because women on here have so much choice, it doesn't make it any easier. Still have to filter through the riff-raff and find those few with the X-factor.
Finding them is the only difficult part for you. The rest really is a formality. Do you honestly think a guy is gonna turn around to a woman that looks the way you do and say "Sorry love, not for me"? He probably thought it was his fucking birthday!
For men however, we have to find the woman first, get them to reply second, hold their attention third, arrange a meet fourth, hope they liked us enough for a fuck last."
I have sent messages and had no response on here...
So - when I actively seek out a dude who I like and he's in a position to meet - and he lives nearby - and he's fucking hot - and he's intelligent - and funny - I can't think of any word to describe this scenario other than a result. Yes I hoped he would want to fuck me, but it's ridiculous to think that anything's a given in this world. Plus you're making assumptions on how my tits look when you haven't seen my face.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes it is exactly the same for women as it is for men..unless you want to adopt the 'any hole is a goal approach' ...this ...'us men are hard done by brigade' gets tiresome ! "
Quality not quantity isn't it! Men aren't getting it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I messaged my last meet first, just because I saw in the news feed that he'd uploaded some gorgeous pics. I just inboxed something like 'love your pics, very hot!' and sent him some of me... and we met up two hours later! Result! x
Not so much a result as a formality.
Nah it took a good few weeks to find him, so it was a result in my opinion. Just because women on here have so much choice, it doesn't make it any easier. Still have to filter through the riff-raff and find those few with the X-factor.
Finding them is the only difficult part for you. The rest really is a formality. Do you honestly think a guy is gonna turn around to a woman that looks the way you do and say "Sorry love, not for me"? He probably thought it was his fucking birthday!
For men however, we have to find the woman first, get them to reply second, hold their attention third, arrange a meet fourth, hope they liked us enough for a fuck last."
I must be a man cause I have all the same problems you do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes it is exactly the same for women as it is for men..unless you want to adopt the 'any hole is a goal approach' ...this ...'us men are hard done by brigade' gets tiresome ! "
Not nearly as tiresome as being a single male and experiencing it however. People can argue against it all they like, males and females do NOT get the same opportunities on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes it is exactly the same for women as it is for men..unless you want to adopt the 'any hole is a goal approach' ...this ...'us men are hard done by brigade' gets tiresome !
Not nearly as tiresome as being a single male and experiencing it however. People can argue against it all they like, males and females do NOT get the same opportunities on here."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes it is exactly the same for women as it is for men..unless you want to adopt the 'any hole is a goal approach' ...this ...'us men are hard done by brigade' gets tiresome !
Not nearly as tiresome as being a single male and experiencing it however. People can argue against it all they like, males and females do NOT get the same opportunities on here."
They don't mostly because of sheer volume! Truthfully i find it very hard meet people! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes it is exactly the same for women as it is for men..unless you want to adopt the 'any hole is a goal approach' ...this ...'us men are hard done by brigade' gets tiresome !
Not nearly as tiresome as being a single male and experiencing it however. People can argue against it all they like, males and females do NOT get the same opportunities on here."
I really think that depends how you look at it
Yes I get 50+ messages a day but a good 99% are from guys who I have no interest in, would you want to sit through that many messages from women who wasn't your type?
If I get one or two messages a week from guys I'd consider that's all I get, I'd say meeting with those odds are not that much higher than men's |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes getting an email of a single woman happens once in a full moon lol, but it does happen
care to divulge?Yes, mostly wanna chat dirty lol and some chat about big broither "
I have never blocked anyone on here but if I were messaging a guy and he started chatting about big brother he would be my first |
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By *4nc3rCouple
over a year ago
Clacton-On-Sea, Essex |
"yes it is exactly the same for women as it is for men..unless you want to adopt the 'any hole is a goal approach' ...this ...'us men are hard done by brigade' gets tiresome !
Not nearly as tiresome as being a single male and experiencing it however. People can argue against it all they like, males and females do NOT get the same opportunities on here."
Totally true.
To try and claim otherwise is ridiculous.
Though think people are missing the point where the women said about finding a guy they actually liked first... That's the hard part, us women are notoriously picky and even then we change our minds  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes getting an email of a single woman happens once in a full moon lol, but it does happen
care to divulge?Yes, mostly wanna chat dirty lol and some chat about big broither "
Love it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"how do you know sexybrain ...throw some stats at me to back that up ...or is it simply you look at how much men winge and assume it must be a harder ride that they are on ??"
You want stats? Fair enough, I once counted how many males, female and couples joined the site over a two hour period, I can't remember the exact numbers but it worked out at around 2 couples for every female, and two males for every couple, so around 1/2/4, so really not a great start for the guys.
Of course, even without those stats, the number of single guys complaining (indeed some do 'whinge' but that doesn't render the argument invalid) would still strongly imply that the field is far from even. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes it is exactly the same for women as it is for men..unless you want to adopt the 'any hole is a goal approach' ...this ...'us men are hard done by brigade' gets tiresome !
Not nearly as tiresome as being a single male and experiencing it however. People can argue against it all they like, males and females do NOT get the same opportunities on here.
"
This was originally a thread about women initiating contact first...yet the single dude brigade has turned it into a 'nobody's messaged me thread/women have it easy'. Perhaps they're bitter because the ladies on this thread haven't messaged them?!
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes it is exactly the same for women as it is for men..unless you want to adopt the 'any hole is a goal approach' ...this ...'us men are hard done by brigade' gets tiresome !
Not nearly as tiresome as being a single male and experiencing it however. People can argue against it all they like, males and females do NOT get the same opportunities on here.
This was originally a thread about women initiating contact first...yet the single dude brigade has turned it into a 'nobody's messaged me thread/women have it easy'. Perhaps they're bitter because the ladies on this thread haven't messaged them?!
"
And I would never ever message a whinging single male - ever! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes it is exactly the same for women as it is for men..unless you want to adopt the 'any hole is a goal approach' ...this ...'us men are hard done by brigade' gets tiresome !
Not nearly as tiresome as being a single male and experiencing it however. People can argue against it all they like, males and females do NOT get the same opportunities on here.
I really think that depends how you look at it
Yes I get 50+ messages a day but a good 99% are from guys who I have no interest in, would you want to sit through that many messages from women who wasn't your type? "
It would be preferable to having to search through 50+ profiles myself, perhaps be fortunate enough to find one I like, then as mentioned further up, taking the time to read her profile, write a relevant message to hopefully get her attention, and then hope she isn't so inundated with offers that I perhaps have a fair chance at getting a reply from her.
See, its vastly more work for single guys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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rockchickxx1,
For me, this isn't about women getting messages and men not getting any. It's about the expectations of both sexes when messaging. For men, it really is a genuine hope that something will come of it. For women, I genuinely don't think you have much to worry about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"naughtynymphos,
I messaged you a couple of days ago."
Never said other wise but you was only mailing me in reply to a comment in the forum you wasn't after a meet and this thread is about contacts for meets so though it was nice talking your messages don't count in connection to this thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes it is exactly the same for women as it is for men..unless you want to adopt the 'any hole is a goal approach' ...this ...'us men are hard done by brigade' gets tiresome !
Not nearly as tiresome as being a single male and experiencing it however. People can argue against it all they like, males and females do NOT get the same opportunities on here.
This was originally a thread about women initiating contact first...yet the single dude brigade has turned it into a 'nobody's messaged me thread/women have it easy'. Perhaps they're bitter because the ladies on this thread haven't messaged them?!
And I would never ever message a whinging single male - ever! Lol"
Such a shame eh? Just IMAGINE the number of single guys you'd have to choose from were the site fairer to us, as we'd have much less reason to air our valid grievances - oh sorry, I meant 'whinge'  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"naughtynymphos,
I messaged you a couple of days ago.
Never said other wise but you was only mailing me in reply to a comment in the forum you wasn't after a meet and this thread is about contacts for meets so though it was nice talking your messages don't count in connection to this thread "
I know, I know, but I would certainly consider it if you were closer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes it is exactly the same for women as it is for men..unless you want to adopt the 'any hole is a goal approach' ...this ...'us men are hard done by brigade' gets tiresome !
Not nearly as tiresome as being a single male and experiencing it however. People can argue against it all they like, males and females do NOT get the same opportunities on here.
Totally true.
To try and claim otherwise is ridiculous.
Though think people are missing the point where the women said about finding a guy they actually liked first... That's the hard part, us women are notoriously picky and even then we change our minds "
I'm super selective about who I want to meet. I get meet requests from guys but to be honest, I'd rather drink the contents of a septic tank than meet the majority - with most being creepy/sleazy/thick/pushy/negative/whingy/plain old abusive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes it is exactly the same for women as it is for men..unless you want to adopt the 'any hole is a goal approach' ...this ...'us men are hard done by brigade' gets tiresome !
Not nearly as tiresome as being a single male and experiencing it however. People can argue against it all they like, males and females do NOT get the same opportunities on here.
This was originally a thread about women initiating contact first...yet the single dude brigade has turned it into a 'nobody's messaged me thread/women have it easy'. Perhaps they're bitter because the ladies on this thread haven't messaged them?!
And I would never ever message a whinging single male - ever! Lol
Such a shame eh? Just IMAGINE the number of single guys you'd have to choose from were the site fairer to us, as we'd have much less reason to air our valid grievances - oh sorry, I meant 'whinge' "
ah...such is life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I message guys that have good pictures and profile text (majority have no public face pictures) I enclose face pictures and ask for face pictures in return. So far I haven't found anyone attractive enough so just makes it awkward. I mark the message as unread so it doesn't look like I've deleted or ignored them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"rockchickxx1,
For me, this isn't about women getting messages and men not getting any. It's about the expectations of both sexes when messaging. For men, it really is a genuine hope that something will come of it. For women, I genuinely don't think you have much to worry about."
Do you think everyone replies to me on here? Because they don't! Do I worry about it? Nah, because I'd rather concentrate on those who do reply back... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I message guys that have good pictures and profile text (majority have no public face pictures) I enclose face pictures and ask for face pictures in return. So far I haven't found anyone attractive enough so just makes it awkward. I mark the message as unread so it doesn't look like I've deleted or ignored them. "
I know what you mean about the attractiveness...! I tend to delete straightaway so they know I'm not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I sometimes message first, depends on if I am actively seeking anyone at the time. I have stopped putting up public posts about when I'm free, last time I got bombarded with messages and couldn't read them fast enough.
It is difficult for women too. Especially those of us who aren't a size 10, look like a model, plaster on the face and feel more comfortable in jeans an trainers than a dress! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess it's not as common due the amount of desperate single guys there are on here compared to women, although "how r u?" is equally as lame no matter who it's from.... but a nice well thought out message is nice when it happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Just IMAGINE the number of single guys you'd have to choose from were the fairer to us
could you give us an example of how the 'site' could be fairer ??
"
I echo this sentiment.
The latter part of this thread smacks of bitterness...possibly from one or two dudes who've never had first-contacts from ladies. |
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By *4nc3rCouple
over a year ago
Clacton-On-Sea, Essex |
"I sometimes message first, depends on if I am actively seeking anyone at the time. I have stopped putting up public posts about when I'm free, last time I got bombarded with messages and couldn't read them fast enough.
It is difficult for women too. Especially those of us who aren't a size 10, look like a model, plaster on the face and feel more comfortable in jeans an trainers than a dress! "
I haven't found any guys that expect us to look like a size 10 model yet 
I'm a size 20 and my waistline is the same size as my bust almost, due to mum-tum, and still get a steady stream of interest even when I had a picture up publicity that I took purely to show my body at its worst so people would know what to expect...
In my experience having looked around and seen verifications and from the messages I receive, a less than "typically beautiful" lady can still find attractive men to meet with minimal troubles, but a guy on here that is not a gym freak, Robert Downey Jr look alike and hung like a horse for the most part has less overall chance even with just "average" girls....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Just IMAGINE the number of single guys you'd have to choose from were the fairer to us
could you give us an example of how the 'site' could be fairer ??
I echo this sentiment.
The latter part of this thread smacks of bitterness...possibly from one or two dudes who've never had first-contacts from ladies. "
I received four messages yesterday, so I hope you're not referring to me. I will keep saying this until I'm blue in the face, I am not complaining about how difficult it is for men on here, I am simply downplaying women's perceived troubles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sometimes message first, depends on if I am actively seeking anyone at the time. I have stopped putting up public posts about when I'm free, last time I got bombarded with messages and couldn't read them fast enough.
It is difficult for women too. Especially those of us who aren't a size 10, look like a model, plaster on the face and feel more comfortable in jeans an trainers than a dress!
I haven't found any guys that expect us to look like a size 10 model yet
I'm a size 20 and my waistline is the same size as my bust almost, due to mum-tum, and still get a steady stream of interest even when I had a picture up publicity that I took purely to show my body at its worst so people would know what to expect...
In my experience having looked around and seen verifications and from the messages I receive, a less than "typically beautiful" lady can still find attractive men to meet with minimal troubles, but a guy on here that is not a gym freak, Robert Downey Jr look alike and hung like a horse for the most part has less overall chance even with just "average" girls....
"
Sounds pretty accurate to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sometimes message first, depends on if I am actively seeking anyone at the time. I have stopped putting up public posts about when I'm free, last time I got bombarded with messages and couldn't read them fast enough.
It is difficult for women too. Especially those of us who aren't a size 10, look like a model, plaster on the face and feel more comfortable in jeans an trainers than a dress!
I haven't found any guys that expect us to look like a size 10 model yet
I'm a size 20 and my waistline is the same size as my bust almost, due to mum-tum, and still get a steady stream of interest even when I had a picture up publicity that I took purely to show my body at its worst so people would know what to expect...
In my experience having looked around and seen verifications and from the messages I receive, a less than "typically beautiful" lady can still find attractive men to meet with minimal troubles, but a guy on here that is not a gym freak, Robert Downey Jr look alike and hung like a horse for the most part has less overall chance even with just "average" girls....
Sounds pretty accurate to me."
It's accurate because *generally* speaking, single men will fuck anything that gives them the time of day. I guess what I really ought to do is lower my standards to make it fairer for guys.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Must admit it's not the norm to get messages off ladies first, they usually come after chatting in forums, winking or fabing pics
When a lady does send a message first I find it usually leads somewhere good, be that the bedroom or a good convo.
Always nice to know that a lady has taken the time to message and show an interest especially when you know how much choice they have on here.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just had 2 in 4 days! Dont want to sound like I'm bragging, but it's very unusual for me!
Both really nice messages too.
Very strange...not uploaded any new pics, not updated status, and messages not forum related.
I'm sure this is not so unusual for all guys, but it's got me wondering about others good/bad experiences of first messages?
And women/couples, do you message first and if so, what what normally entices you to send one?
(Appologies in advance, I'm sure there are 1,000001 other threads on the same subject, that I could have looked at, but that way I wouldn't get to revel in my moment of glory )"
I (fem) never send the first message. That may sound arrogant, but it's quite the opposite.
Our profile states that I'm large (size 22) and I believe (rightly or wrongly) that I'm an acquired taste. I'm naturally drawn to athletic-average guys, and not all of them have that acquired taste for large women, hence the lack of contact on my part. I might wink, but that rarely gets me anywhere.
As for replying: I try to reply politely to all messages if I can. Anything rude or too blunt just gets deleted. I've had a couple of rude replies to a polite 'no thanks', so it's a risk turning someone down - I hate confrontation.
As for couples - mine field! Had a couple of winks recently, but they haven't floated our boat. NEVER do we receive mail from couples - maybe we're both an acquired taste?!
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Must admit it's not the norm to get messages off ladies first, they usually come after chatting in forums, winking or fabing pics
When a lady does send a message first I find it usually leads somewhere good, be that the bedroom or a good convo.
Always nice to know that a lady has taken the time to message and show an interest especially when you know how much choice they have on here.
"
My thoughts precisely, both messages I'm referring to (did I mention I had 2 in 4 days? ) were from profiles I hadn't even viewed.
This was never intended as a 'poor me, aren't single guys hard done by' post, by the way.
I know the score and I'm fine with it. After all, it just makes it more special, when you do get a nice message out of the blue.
(A bit like Christmas, and almost as infrequent) |
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