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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry if this seems silly question to some but we very unsure and looking for advice J is very much into a sub role but Mr m not really sure it confident enough to assume dom role. ... is it norm or accepted practice fir another couple/male to take her and train her up but still for Mr m to be involved. Mr does not want to be cuck..... Sorry if this sounds strange to you but any genuine messages of help or advice wud be appreciated. |
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By *ndykinkyMan
over a year ago
STOKE-ON-TRENT |
It would be quite normal to meet others to either just talk or meet for practical help.
Come along to either one of the Fetish Events at Club Atlantis Evolution and meet some of the locals into the Fetish scene for lots of help and advice. Events on the fourth Thursday of each month or the second Sunday of each month.
Check out the clubs website.
Or there is a vanilla meeting on Sunday 25th January at the Polite Vicar in Basford, Newcastle-undre-Lyme. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
you dont have to be involved in fethish to have any kind of dom / sub role play. For someone to take the lead - there just need the dynamic. If he usually takes the lead in bed just take it from there, whether it is a bunch of your hair, a hand around your throat, a marginally too deep cock down your neck, a keep on going for a second or two longer more when you say stop. Exploring areas where you are unsure, having you resist, and him restrain. you following commands, or instruction. Things like a simple meal.
I remember a night with my fb - regular meet, was wondering around what we might get up to, next thing the rope is out, next thing as usual you are needing foot, next thing, one had eating, next thing, mild order whilst eating and consequences if not followed, distractions to see if she's following what is being said. It all builds. You dont even have to use rope. She could have been sat on her hand - it could have been even more difficult that as there would have been nothing for her to hold her. Either way the tension builds. You let it drop, you tease, you put in more order say when watching a film. Whatever.
The point is, you dont have to get a 10" dildo and a gas mask with a bull whip. If a lead is taken, you can build on most situations, if a consequence is intimated at. |
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If M is interested but just lacks experience then finding a Dom(me) to act as mentor might be the way forward and is something a lot of people do. You need to be aware/wary of the high number of dimdoms and wannashags that are out there but it should be doable to find someone trustworthy.
The fact that you are swingers is going to act like a big flashing sign to the afformentioned so you need to be a bit careful. Maybe attend a bdsm munch and talk to a few people  |
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You don't have to have someone else to train her up. You could work as a couple to develop your links and fetishes
My oh was not very confident at being a dominant when we first started exploring but we communicate our fantasies and thoughts, he researchers different elements of play, we try out different things and see what works for us. No one else is involved in our D/s play. Perhaps in the future there will be times when there is but for now it's all about finding ourselves with each other. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
I wouldn't say don't invite other in. At the end of the day - you'll find a great deal of kink be it in the intimacy, thought, appearance, action, physique, technique, toys, experience or just general fantasy and fun of meeting others. Limiting yourselves just to yourselves, is nice and all, but it's good to really explore taste and gain ideas. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Submit to her.
Do things like lie at her feet and massage them, telling her you are here to serve her and fulfil all her needs. Even doing every day normal, caring acts and then telling her you love doing things for her because she is worthy of them is acting submissive. Take little steps, make her a brew, run her a bath, treat her like she is worthy of having her own needs met and she'll start acting like it's ok to have needs.
Don't forget women have often been trained form a young age to be the carer and neglect their own needs for others and it can be hard to get over that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Actually not sure who is the male/female and who wants to be dom/domme. Maybe swap genders around in my last post.
Could always turn out that this stuff isn't for you anyway, but that's the best way to try it out if the dom/domme is nervous about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry if this seems silly question to some but we very unsure and looking for advice J is very much into a sub role but Mr m not really sure it confident enough to assume dom role. ... is it norm or accepted practice fir another couple/male to take her and train her up but still for Mr m to be involved. Mr does not want to be cuck..... Sorry if this sounds strange to you but any genuine messages of help or advice wud be appreciated. "
I'm sure that lots of guys will offer to 'train' a sub woman, and if you want to do that, then it's fine. (I've never bought into all the 'training' bollocks - it seems to just be a way for older 'experienced' men to get their way with fresh meat).
It really depends if the other person wants to top though. IF they don't identify as a top/dom then you can't make them. You might wish to meet someone else to indulge in kink (which is what I do).
Take it at your own speed though, enjoy yourselves together or apart. Don't feel pressurised to do anything you're not happy with. And have fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You don't have to have someone else to train her up. You could work as a couple to develop your links and fetishes
My oh was not very confident at being a dominant when we first started exploring but we communicate our fantasies and thoughts, he researchers different elements of play, we try out different things and see what works for us. No one else is involved in our D/s play. Perhaps in the future there will be times when there is but for now it's all about finding ourselves with each other. "
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