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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey all,
So having been on the swinging scene for some time we are considering trying to find a second female to make a permanent poly relationship. We realise these can come with a whole host of problems and would certainly not be rushing in to anything. Would be good to hear from anyone with experience of this or women who would consider such a relationship, submissive women preferred.
Fi_n_c |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
Its not what I am looking for at present, but I have lived in a ménage à trois for nearly a year when I was younger. It only ended when they decided to try for family together.
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
It was a really good relationship.
They were very much in love, and I wasn't with either of them, but it suited us. I was fond of them both, but definitely not love.
There wasn't much bitching at all. It only ended because they wanted to have a family, and we all thought it would be too confusing for any child.
A few friends knew about it, and found it weird and often made judgments on it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That's interesting, good to hear of a more positive experience. In my experience people judge what they don't understand, we would not be looking to shout out new found relationship from the rooftops but again would probably tell close friends etc. I think most of them would be cool with it or at least refrain from making nasty comments as they have with swinging. Some are positively encouraging haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have a poly relationship.
Suz and I have both separately fallen in love with Anne.
We ALL love each other and have been together for just over a year now. suz and I have been together for over 30 years. To us Anne 'adds' to the collective, not is instead of any bits.
There is no jealousy. We have seen the 'rough and smooth' of each other and we are all happy. Sure like any relationship there has to be some give and take (I gave in on a tumble drier and electric kettle lol. I am not mean, but energy conscious).
We all swing but together and have to be careful of both couples and singles that think ' Great two ladies to fuck/suck etc!'
We have some great swinging friends that none of us have a problem with any of us playing with separately, but these are very trusted friends.
Normally we play together.
xxx |
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I'm polyamorous but currently only have my husband as a partner. I had a boyfriend for a few months last year but it didn't work out.
My advice would be communication, communication, communication. Try not to rush into things. New Relationship Energy is really exciting and can sometimes make you act without thinking properly.
Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the great comments guys, everyone seems to keep saying communication is key and we have that currently so would just be a case of extending that to any potential third. Obviously what we want does not happen overnight so it's a case of building that trust etc within the new relationship.
Guess the only way we will know if we can make a poly relationship work is to give it a try |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I really do feel I should have inboxed You this in private but it's a Trial & Error story........
Feb 2014
met a 48 Year Old Woman from Northumberland in a Pub in Newcastle, We got along, She told a few Mutual Friends She thought I was Hot, They passed it on, within a few Days, I got alot of encouragement although I said a few times "Come on get serious, We 18 Years apart" but I ulled it over and thought "Go for it" although I was very wary by how Socially agressive She was
March 2014
We conversed and got along great online and She agreed to come out to a rather unusual kind of date with Me, She enjoyed Herself thoroughly and thanked Me for bringing Her so I asked Her if She wanted to come around My Local for a few Drinks.......(Nothing more) and She accepted We both agreed on an Open Relationship and My Argument was that a Man wouldn't get the benefits out of it a Woman Would....that is not Sexist just Human Nature.....so I told Her I had a problem with not being included in things She would be......she assured Me that Night that She would always let Me know where I stand Whoever She is with....so We made it public and Became in a Poly Relationship
May 2014
She introduces Me to a Guy, a Spinless Weasel of a Man that makes Racist Jokes and only retracts Them coz I was present also , He being Ex Navy debates to Me being currently in the British Army that the Navy are more important than The Army ever will be so I tried to understand it but reluctantley
June 2014
She attends a House party at His House that I was not invited to!!! "Surprise, Surprise" You can guess the rest........a few Weeks later when I have My Slot with Her for want of a better Term The other Bloke tries to get Me barred from The Venue by suggesting I'm a Violent D*unk....The Event Organizer was a very good Friend of mine and knew Me too well to know this was an attempt to stop Me and Her hooking up.......meaning.........
HE FELT THREATENED BY ME AND WANTED ME OUT OF THE PICTURE......Later that Month I explained this to Her but She didn't want to hear it so In This case it was "Dear Jane" rather than "Dear John"
July 2014
My self esteem was low
, I was lonely and I asked Her if We could try again like a True Sucker....I have to admit that's what I was then......she accepted........
I pleaded with Her saying "Anyone Who comes into what We have has to accept what We have and not feel threatened by One Another.....also You have to let Me know where We stand
....now can You do this or not?"
She insisted She could
August 2014
Prior to attending My Local Swingers Club I discover They have been having meet ups on the sly and She was cancelling meet ups We were supposed to be having because She was with Him on the same Dates.........
I have had to attend Anger Management Therapy due to this to make sure I don't put Myself in HMP for Man Slaughter.......it was not a happy time
any way enough about Me.........as long as You all let each other know Where You stand it Can work....... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey,
JustSean, thanks for your comments. Sounds like you had a pretty rough time. I would say from your experience it sounds like what you had was more of an open relationship, all be it even then it became quite deceitful. I would only consider it to be a poly relationship when everyone is equally involved and happy with each other, including being happy to play together. Although I have also heard poly relationships referred to as being 'V' shaped where one person has 2 partners but the partners don't play which sounds more like what you had.
Ideally we would have the third move in with us eventually to become a true poly household. Anyway I'm tired, hope that makes sense. |
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"We have a poly relationship.
Suz and I have both separately fallen in love with Anne.
We ALL love each other and have been together for just over a year now. suz and I have been together for over 30 years. To us Anne 'adds' to the collective, not is instead of any bits.
There is no jealousy. We have seen the 'rough and smooth' of each other and we are all happy. Sure like any relationship there has to be some give and take (I gave in on a tumble drier and electric kettle lol. I am not mean, but energy conscious).
We all swing but together and have to be careful of both couples and singles that think ' Great two ladies to fuck/suck etc!'
We have some great swinging friends that none of us have a problem with any of us playing with separately, but these are very trusted friends.
Normally we play together.
xxx"
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I'm part of a poly relationship.
In many ways it is like being in a 'normal' relationship, people argue, people disagree, there is an extra persons feelings to take into account.
It is far from easy. But then no relationship is easy.
I think the common mistake I see is that people think poly relationships are about having an extra person available for sex. This isn't the case. In my relationship, I get very little of my sexual needs fulfilled by the couple I am with. It didn't start this way, but with time and lives getting in the way it's happened. If anything it has made the relationship stronger, there is a bond there that can't be broken by sexual tension or jealousy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Redangel, they are really good comments. I think the thing for us would be to build the relationship on a strong friendship rather than a great fuck. Let's be honest as much as we may want to we can't fuck 24:7 and we can't fuck our way through problems that may come up. But a strong friendship with trust and good communication I see as the basis for any relationship poly or monogamous x |
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I met the couple I'm involved with on another site, we met at a social event and had a 3sum, and a friendship just developed from there.
Their kids (although grown up and living away from home at that point) were introduced to me, and from that point on I was known as Auntie Red. I'm a huge part of their lives too.
A deep friendship can grow from a sexual activity, but it should never be based on one.
I think if you go into it with an open mind, and the ability to talk about everything, no matter how inconsequential is seems (trust me, when someone doesn't wash their pots for the 4th night, it can seem huge!!), it will work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree about the sex.
Yes sex is great, but a poly relationship is NOT (IMHO) just about sex. We are there for each other. At the moment suz is ill. Anne has been a tower of help looking after her. when I was ill, they both took turns to look after me and so it goes on.
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"Hey all,
So having been on the swinging scene for some time we are considering trying to find a second female to make a permanent poly relationship. We realise these can come with a whole host of problems and would certainly not be rushing in to anything. Would be good to hear from anyone with experience of this or women who would consider such a relationship, submissive women preferred.
Fi_n_c"
I think that sounds great! Not sure if he will lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For those Who do make it work it is easier said than done
You won't just go and find People like that and pull them off the street
OP Your Partner Your going Poly with You have known a while Yes?
I think that is gonna be the deciding Factor!!!
But Anyone Who has met someone for the 1st time and they're talking about that kind of thing straight away????.....watch out and be very wary because I hate to be a Cynical Old Fart but............
It ain't 1967 Anymore, it ain't the "Summer of Love" |
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