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cheating

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Why do people cheat on a relationship..

is it because angry??

is it someone better??

Personality??

Or d*unk???

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's a bit more complicated than that usually

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's a bit more complicated than that usually "

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By *verysmileMan  over a year ago

CANTERBURY

Not sure it's complicated. ...isn't it more primal?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's a bit more complicated than that usually "

Definitely!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Is it complicated before or after..

What would be the main reason to do such a thing

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By *radleyandRavenCouple  over a year ago

Herts

There's no clear-cut answer.

Someone could have the perfect partner at home - lovely person, great romance, a fantastic lover... and still cheat just because they can, or they like variety, or they're quite simply a selfish Cunt.

Some do it to get back at Partners, claim they're just not getting enough at home or say they fell out of love and are simply staying for the kids or convenience.

You'll hear many reasons/excuses thrown around.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

That is a very logical answer cool...

well this thread is not to hurt or make feel guilty anyone . just wanted to know what the swinging community think about this x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Because they can.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

For me there is two types of cheating

1) frustration in a relationship maybe due to lack of communication- sex has become dull or dont talk to each other as much for example

2) for blokes especially its a primal thing, an ego trip or a can I get away with it thing. Ive never cheated but doesn't mean have not had the urge or the what if moment

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By *rtemisiaWoman  over a year ago

Norwich


"There's no clear-cut answer.

Someone could have the perfect partner at home - lovely person, great romance, a fantastic lover... and still cheat just because they can, or they like variety, or they're quite simply a selfish Cunt.

Some do it to get back at Partners, claim they're just not getting enough at home or say they fell out of love and are simply staying for the kids or convenience.

You'll hear many reasons/excuses thrown around."

I once used to think that if I was getting what I needed at home, I wouldn't want to look elsewhere. Think I was kidding myself. He knows though, and sometimes joins in, so at least it's honest.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"There's no clear-cut answer.

Someone could have the perfect partner at home - lovely person, great romance, a fantastic lover... and still cheat just because they can, or they like variety, or they're quite simply a selfish Cunt.

Some do it to get back at Partners, claim they're just not getting enough at home or say they fell out of love and are simply staying for the kids or convenience.

You'll hear many reasons/excuses thrown around.

I once used to think that if I was getting what I needed at home, I wouldn't want to look elsewhere. Think I was kidding myself. He knows though, and sometimes joins in, so at least it's honest."

We all have different needs and our partners can not always provide the solution so we take other people to fulfil these wants. Many relationships survive because of the extracurricular sex.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's a bit more complicated than that usually "

don't judge till you've stood in their shoes, I've had offers from frustrated women who's other half is too ill, felt for them, but couldn't, my conscience is bigger than my cock I guess, but I sincerely hope they found what they wanted.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Because they are bored with the same sex with hubby so want new meat. I know cos I meet married women and that's what they say usually

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By *edroseCouple  over a year ago

wigan

Wanting more

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By *edroseCouple  over a year ago

wigan


"Because they are bored with the same sex with hubby so want new meat. I know cos I meet married women and that's what they say usually "

Spot on

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"There's no clear-cut answer.

Someone could have the perfect partner at home - lovely person, great romance, a fantastic lover... and still cheat just because they can, or they like variety, or they're quite simply a selfish Cunt.

Some do it to get back at Partners, claim they're just not getting enough at home or say they fell out of love and are simply staying for the kids or convenience.

You'll hear many reasons/excuses thrown around.

I once used to think that if I was getting what I needed at home, I wouldn't want to look elsewhere. Think I was kidding myself. He knows though, and sometimes joins in, so at least it's honest. We all have different needs and our partners can not always provide the solution so we take other people to fulfil these wants. Many relationships survive because of the extracurricular sex. "

for this

And I prefer to walk a mile in someone else's shoes before I judge them - that way if they don't like what you say you have a mile head start and their shoes....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

While I don't agree with cheating, I can see why some people may want to do this alone.

Gav and I have an understanding that we do all this but are up front about it. It works! I could never imagine lying about something that I have such a good thing with!

I mean... We both get to have sex with other people and engage in frisky crazy things with groups.... What e a toy would the point of cheating be? So I can get caught and go back to trying to find a guy that didn't think I was a slag? Pointless. C x

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

Their reasons will be individual in every case, their choice.

There are people for all on here.

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By *icefellatwoMan  over a year ago

hastings


"Because they are bored with the same sex with hubby so want new meat. I know cos I meet married women and that's what they say usually

Spot on "

Dont shave it.

Its beautiful

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Their reasons will be individual in every case, their choice.

There are people for all on here.

"

It is completely their choice.

It does depend of course on how much they value honesty in their personal relationship, but without doubt each person cheating thinks they have a valid reason for being dishonest.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

because my wife refuses me sex

simple

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why do people cheat on a relationship..

is it because angry??

is it someone better??

Personality??

Or d*unk???"

Recreation.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/01/15 16:07:32]

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By *olly RogererMan  over a year ago

Braintree

Men cheat because thier brains are in thier pants

Women cheat because they can

Fact

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"because my wife refuses me sex

simple"

Have you told her what you have decided to do?

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By *icefellatwoMan  over a year ago

hastings


"because my wife refuses me sex

simple

Have you told her what you have decided to do?"

If hes cheating he has not told her

that's simple to work out

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By *dventuroususCouple  over a year ago

sunderland


"Why do people cheat on a relationship..

is it because angry??

is it someone better??

Personality??

Or d*unk???"

there are many reasons people cheat, none of them right or good.

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By *lutandhubbyCouple  over a year ago

west midlands

my ex had FIVE affairs while we where together. and yes, we where swingers, so couldn't put it down to boredom!

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By *lutandhubbyCouple  over a year ago

west midlands


"my ex had FIVE affairs while we where together. and yes, we where swingers, so couldn't put it down to boredom! "
PS, none of the affairs where with swingers!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Dont understand cheats personally but thats my personal perspective i couldnt intentionally hurt someone x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Because they are bored with the same sex with hubby so want new meat. I know cos I meet married women and that's what they say usually

Spot on "

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By *SweetVioletxWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool

They all have their reasons. But we're not allowed to judge.

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By *edroseCouple  over a year ago

wigan


"Because they are bored with the same sex with hubby so want new meat. I know cos I meet married women and that's what they say usually

Spot on "

Xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Some guys may have the perfect wife at home in everyway except sexually , do they give up the love of there life just because they have a much higher sex drive than there wife? Do they stay faithful and life a life with little sex? Or do they find a solution that keeps everyone happy whilst still respecting everyone's health and dignity

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"They all have their reasons. But we're not allowed to judge. "

You can judge. Not everyone will agree with you. I have never cheated on a man,my husband cheated on me. I accept that he did and don't let it tarnish my _iew of men

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm going to give you the Mary Poppins answer!... Add a partner with a pinch of PTSD, a chronic disease, a shit load of medication,a lot of selfishness and self pity, no sexual contact for 6 years + and hey presto one very frustrated other half that isn't dead yet but doesn't want to leave her husband as she doesn't want the emotional blackmail of his death on her hands. So a spoonful of swinging for me makes my home life medicine go down a treat. And for the sanctimonious among you.... No I don't want to hurt him but neither do I want to see him on the streets which is how he would be if I left him. Reality.

This is my life and in the words of the wonderful Mr Marmite I'm a cheating scumbag! But I'm a damn sight happier cheating scumbag than I was before I made friends on here!

Condemn away!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm going to give you the Mary Poppins answer!... Add a partner with a pinch of PTSD, a chronic disease, a shit load of medication,a lot of selfishness and self pity, no sexual contact for 6 years + and hey presto one very frustrated other half that isn't dead yet but doesn't want to leave her husband as she doesn't want the emotional blackmail of his death on her hands. So a spoonful of swinging for me makes my home life medicine go down a treat. And for the sanctimonious among you.... No I don't want to hurt him but neither do I want to see him on the streets which is how he would be if I left him. Reality.

This is my life and in the words of the wonderful Mr Marmite I'm a cheating scumbag! But I'm a damn sight happier cheating scumbag than I was before I made friends on here!

Condemn away! "

You have nailed it in a less subtle way lol keep a happy home with a regular shot of naughtiness, be discreet and no one is hurt....spot on

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By *URACELLBUNNY67Man  over a year ago

padgate, warrington


"It's a bit more complicated than that usually "

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By *lan43sumMan  over a year ago

Leicester


"I'm going to give you the Mary Poppins answer!... Add a partner with a pinch of PTSD, a chronic disease, a shit load of medication,a lot of selfishness and self pity, no sexual contact for 6 years + and hey presto one very frustrated other half that isn't dead yet but doesn't want to leave her husband as she doesn't want the emotional blackmail of his death on her hands. So a spoonful of swinging for me makes my home life medicine go down a treat. And for the sanctimonious among you.... No I don't want to hurt him but neither do I want to see him on the streets which is how he would be if I left him. Reality.

This is my life and in the words of the wonderful Mr Marmite I'm a cheating scumbag! But I'm a damn sight happier cheating scumbag than I was before I made friends on here!

Condemn away! "

I'd say thank god for those on here who don't leap about to conclusions based on their own experiences. Listen and learn as what has been bravely said here is not uncommon. I salute partners for holding on in there despite the pitiful help they get from the state and say why not share some pleasure with the like minded ones on Fab. Combine the simple honesty mentioned by many with the moral obligations and the desire not to further kick a man when he's already down and lets see what the all knowing folk suggest to be the "right" way.

Good luck to all in this lady's position..someone said above about walking a mile in the other person's shoes.......

A challenge for club owners would be to hold a social during the day (often the best time) for carers to mingle with others with the same needs. Healthy escapism? A tonic?

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman  over a year ago

Deviant City


"There's no clear-cut answer.

Someone could have the perfect partner at home - lovely person, great romance, a fantastic lover... and still cheat just because they can, or they like variety, or they're quite simply a selfish Cunt.

Some do it to get back at Partners, claim they're just not getting enough at home or say they fell out of love and are simply staying for the kids or convenience.

You'll hear many reasons/excuses thrown around."

this is very true in a lot of cases.

then there are people in much more complicated situations.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman  over a year ago

Deviant City


"I'm going to give you the Mary Poppins answer!... Add a partner with a pinch of PTSD, a chronic disease, a shit load of medication,a lot of selfishness and self pity, no sexual contact for 6 years + and hey presto one very frustrated other half that isn't dead yet but doesn't want to leave her husband as she doesn't want the emotional blackmail of his death on her hands. So a spoonful of swinging for me makes my home life medicine go down a treat. And for the sanctimonious among you.... No I don't want to hurt him but neither do I want to see him on the streets which is how he would be if I left him. Reality.

This is my life and in the words of the wonderful Mr Marmite I'm a cheating scumbag! But I'm a damn sight happier cheating scumbag than I was before I made friends on here!

Condemn away!

I'd say thank god for those on here who don't leap about to conclusions based on their own experiences. Listen and learn as what has been bravely said here is not uncommon. I salute partners for holding on in there despite the pitiful help they get from the state and say why not share some pleasure with the like minded ones on Fab. Combine the simple honesty mentioned by many with the moral obligations and the desire not to further kick a man when he's already down and lets see what the all knowing folk suggest to be the "right" way.

Good luck to all in this lady's position..someone said above about walking a mile in the other person's shoes.......

A challenge for club owners would be to hold a social during the day (often the best time) for carers to mingle with others with the same needs. Healthy escapism? A tonic?"

One of the many reasons I have never married is due to my unpredictable and very chronic health conditions. I would be too much hardwork, not always up for sex and poorly quite often (hence hidden profile at the moment).

I am now in an open relationship, so if my partner doesn't get everything she needs from me, she is welcome to go elsewhere to fulfill her sexual needs.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"While I don't agree with cheating, I can see why some people may want to do this alone.

Gav and I have an understanding that we do all this but are up front about it. It works! I could never imagine lying about something that I have such a good thing with!

I mean... We both get to have sex with other people and engage in frisky crazy things with groups.... What e a toy would the point of cheating be? So I can get caught and go back to trying to find a guy that didn't think I was a slag? Pointless. C x"

Completely agree

Hx

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By *dventuroususCouple  over a year ago

sunderland


"Some guys may have the perfect wife at home in everyway except sexually , do they give up the love of there life just because they have a much higher sex drive than there wife? Do they stay faithful and life a life with little sex? Or do they find a solution that keeps everyone happy whilst still respecting everyone's health and dignity"

Everyone apart from the person been lied to.

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By *andy_tomMan  over a year ago

wolverhampton


"because my wife refuses me sex

simple"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Because they can. Social media and websites make it too easy to chat, flirt and cheat.

It's a bit like having a car at home, but nice to go for a spin in another car now and again, without having to pay or serveice it...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A fifteen year escalation of rejection from the woman I love and the mother of my children, who I will never leave; but who thinks about sex in a purely functional way.

Occasionally seeing other people, for me, fills an important psychological and physical need.

But I don't doubt for others it's more simple, basic or selfish.

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By *eerobCouple  over a year ago

solihull


"A fifteen year escalation of rejection from the woman I love and the mother of my children, who I will never leave; but who thinks about sex in a purely functional way.

Occasionally seeing other people, for me, fills an important psychological and physical need.

But I don't doubt for others it's more8 simple, basic or selfish."

Cheating is cheating and can never be justified. You should work your problems out one way or another. If your partner was cheating on you how would you feel. Its simply wrong and inexcusable. You say you love her yet will happily hurt her??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've never cheated in a relationship , I don't judge those that do though. None of us knows what goes on behind closed doors. Like someone else said above - until you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes, who are we to judge!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why do people cheat on a relationship..

is it because angry??

is it someone better??

Personality??

Or d*unk???"

Because some people have genuine reasons, maybe finding comfort in the arms of another can help them briefly get away from an awful situation.

And some people are just greedy, lying a hole's who will cheat and sleep around

No matter how perfect their partner and home life are, seems some just can't stop themselves and always try to justify it by making lame excuses.

Others

Just don't give a fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's a bit more complicated than that usually

Definitely!

"

A lot goes on behind closed doors x

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By *inkxRabbitWoman  over a year ago

Mostly in GU24

I don't give a fuck.

I wouldn't be doing it if my husband had payed me any attention at all in the last 10+ years.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Why do people cheat on a relationship..

is it because angry??

is it someone better??

Personality??

Or d*unk???"

Who knows! There are as many reasons as there are relationships. It ranges from the cynical ones who really imagine it's their right to have much sex as possible to the ones in genuinely sexless.relationships where for a variety of possible reasons, there's no possibility of sex resuming.

Its rarely straightforward and not often that someone doesn't get hurt.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why do people cheat on a relationship..

is it because angry??

is it someone better??

Personality??

Or d*unk???

Who knows! There are as many reasons as there are relationships. It ranges from the cynical ones who really imagine it's their right to have much sex as possible to the ones in genuinely sexless.relationships where for a variety of possible reasons, there's no possibility of sex resuming.

Its rarely straightforward and not often that someone doesn't get hurt. "

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By *eerobCouple  over a year ago

solihull


"I don't give a fuck.

I wouldn't be doing it if my husband had payed me any attention at all in the last 10+ years. "

Perhaps its because you dont give a fuck or hes giving you no attention because you are out cheating??

Sorry but lying and being deceitful and doing something that you know will hurt someone else can never be condoned.

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

May all those happy swinging couples pat themselves on the back and smugly grin at each other for having such a perfect relationship.

Saying that I'm always hugely impressed with couples who swing. It's something I haven't got.

People make judgements all the time and those judgements are right. For them, at least.

It's too easy and too simplistic to announce 'cheating is wrong'. So is murder - except it's legal in some

places.

Don't forget: the moral maze isn't always as clear cut as you think it is.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"May all those happy swinging couples pat themselves on the back and smugly grin at each other for having such a perfect relationship.

Saying that I'm always hugely impressed with couples who swing. It's something I haven't got.

People make judgements all the time and those judgements are right. For them, at least.

It's too easy and too simplistic to announce 'cheating is wrong'. So is murder - except it's legal in some

places.

Don't forget: the moral maze isn't always as clear cut as you think it is. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"May all those happy swinging couples pat themselves on the back and smugly grin at each other for having such a perfect relationship.

Saying that I'm always hugely impressed with couples who swing. It's something I haven't got.

People make judgements all the time and those judgements are right. For them, at least.

It's too easy and too simplistic to announce 'cheating is wrong'. So is murder - except it's legal in some

places.

Don't forget: the moral maze isn't always as clear cut as you think it is. "

The funny thing is the "genuine swinging couples" quite a few of them are still being deceitful and cheating! Men giving telephone numbers out and asking to meet secretly but saying don't tell my wife and I'm sure wives do it too!

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By *eerobCouple  over a year ago

solihull


"May all those happy swinging couples pat themselves on the back and smugly grin at each other for having such a perfect relationship.

Saying that I'm always hugely impressed with couples who swing. It's something I haven't got.

People make judgements all the time and those judgements are right. For them, at least.

It's too easy and too simplistic to announce 'cheating is wrong'. So is murder - except it's legal in some

places.

Don't forget: the moral maze isn't always as clear cut as you think it is. "

I dont think that there is such a thing as a perfect relationship, dont think anyone is being smug. There are certain things you should not do in life, many many things. Lying is one of them if someone is going to get hurt if the truth comes to light.

Its how you deal with the things that are not right that is important in a relationship, and cheating and lying will never be the answer except to the cheater, it is masking the problem not fixing it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"May all those happy swinging couples pat themselves on the back and smugly grin at each other for having such a perfect relationship.

Saying that I'm always hugely impressed with couples who swing. It's something I haven't got.

People make judgements all the time and those judgements are right. For them, at least.

It's too easy and too simplistic to announce 'cheating is wrong'. So is murder - except it's legal in some

places.

Don't forget: the moral maze isn't always as clear cut as you think it is. "

The answer to the OPs question is: nobody ever really knows what is going on in someone else's relationship, so don't presume to know the reasons why they make the decisions they do.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"May all those happy swinging couples pat themselves on the back and smugly grin at each other for having such a perfect relationship.

"

Maybe some do Steve but nobody should ever underestimate the work that people put into their relationship.

It seems that on both sides of the argument folks are prepared to imagine that the current situation of someone's relationship has been arrived at by accident and no negotiation, discussion or compromise has taken place. I'm pretty sure that people in relationships where one of them gets sex elsewhere have arrived at that point after a long process, just like "smug" couples.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"May all those happy swinging couples pat themselves on the back and smugly grin at each other for having such a perfect relationship.

Saying that I'm always hugely impressed with couples who swing. It's something I haven't got.

People make judgements all the time and those judgements are right. For them, at least.

It's too easy and too simplistic to announce 'cheating is wrong'. So is murder - except it's legal in some

places.

Don't forget: the moral maze isn't always as clear cut as you think it is.

The funny thing is the "genuine swinging couples" quite a few of them are still being deceitful and cheating! Men giving telephone numbers out and asking to meet secretly but saying don't tell my wife and I'm sure wives do it too! "

That's because some people want their cake and eat it so to speak.

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By *lan43sumMan  over a year ago

Leicester

Nice couple's comments perfectly sum up my thoughts. People seem to be so judgemental almost like life has to be lived like the red top headlines. Black and white. They fight for morals and family values yet can't resist on using soft porn pics.

I'm worried that the lady who posted the "mary poppins" quote above has cut her links with Fab if it was her window of escapism...I hope she's OK

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"May all those happy swinging couples pat themselves on the back and smugly grin at each other for having such a perfect relationship.

Saying that I'm always hugely impressed with couples who swing. It's something I haven't got.

People make judgements all the time and those judgements are right. For them, at least.

It's too easy and too simplistic to announce 'cheating is wrong'. So is murder - except it's legal in some

places.

Don't forget: the moral maze isn't always as clear cut as you think it is.

I dont think that there is such a thing as a perfect relationship, dont think anyone is being smug. There are certain things you should not do in life, many many things. Lying is one of them if someone is going to get hurt if the truth comes to light.

Its how you deal with the things that are not right that is important in a relationship, and cheating and lying will never be the answer except to the cheater, it is masking the problem not fixing it. "

Seeking sex elsewhere isn't the issue in our opinion.

There are situations like some mentioned in this thread that mean there is no other way to keep the relationship alive, however lots of time people create those reasons as an excuse for cheating.

For the ones who are really in that position, and there are many, the problem that is voiced by some of us is not the fact that people are having sex elsewhere, but they haven't been honest with their chosen life partner.

Speaking for ourselves after being a couple for over twenty five years, the hurt would not be in the sex elsewhere, but in the fact that we did not discuss it, however painful it would be.

If one member of a couple has decided to seek sex elsewhere, what ever the reason that might be, surely it is only respectful to allow your life partner to make that same choice as to whether he/she can accept your choice or not.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"May all those happy swinging couples pat themselves on the back and smugly grin at each other for having such a perfect relationship.

Saying that I'm always hugely impressed with couples who swing. It's something I haven't got.

People make judgements all the time and those judgements are right. For them, at least.

It's too easy and too simplistic to announce 'cheating is wrong'. So is murder - except it's legal in some

places.

Don't forget: the moral maze isn't always as clear cut as you think it is.

The answer to the OPs question is: nobody ever really knows what is going on in someone else's relationship, so don't presume to know the reasons why they make the decisions they do. "

Totally agree

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"For me there is two types of cheating

1) frustration in a relationship maybe due to lack of communication- sex has become dull or dont talk to each other as much for example

2) for blokes especially its a primal thing, an ego trip or a can I get away with it thing. Ive never cheated but doesn't mean have not had the urge or the what if moment"

Just to clarify, No. 1 of your post is my reason for cheating. But no sex in relationship

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"May all those happy swinging couples pat themselves on the back and smugly grin at each other for having such a perfect relationship.

Saying that I'm always hugely impressed with couples who swing. It's something I haven't got.

People make judgements all the time and those judgements are right. For them, at least.

It's too easy and too simplistic to announce 'cheating is wrong'. So is murder - except it's legal in some

places.

Don't forget: the moral maze isn't always as clear cut as you think it is.

I dont think that there is such a thing as a perfect relationship, dont think anyone is being smug. There are certain things you should not do in life, many many things. Lying is one of them if someone is going to get hurt if the truth comes to light.

Its how you deal with the things that are not right that is important in a relationship, and cheating and lying will never be the answer except to the cheater, it is masking the problem not fixing it.

Seeking sex elsewhere isn't the issue in our opinion.

There are situations like some mentioned in this thread that mean there is no other way to keep the relationship alive, however lots of time people create those reasons as an excuse for cheating.

For the ones who are really in that position, and there are many, the problem that is voiced by some of us is not the fact that people are having sex elsewhere, but they haven't been honest with their chosen life partner.

Speaking for ourselves after being a couple for over twenty five years, the hurt would not be in the sex elsewhere, but in the fact that we did not discuss it, however painful it would be.

If one member of a couple has decided to seek sex elsewhere, what ever the reason that might be, surely it is only respectful to allow your life partner to make that same choice as to whether he/she can accept your choice or not.

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why do people cheat on a relationship..

is it because angry??

is it someone better??

Personality??

Or d*unk???"

All of those probably come into it combined ...you should as my ex as he should have all the answers

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

As far as I read the valuable opinion of others

yes this is all about combination of all

But not a good thing to do

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Some people try really hard to keep the romance and sex alive in their relationships and still the partner doesn't respond. I stayed in a miserable relationship to keep my family together and later on because for good reason I couldn't leave. It took something drastic to get my partner to leave me,even though he had another woman,didn't want me and had already divorced

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By *illxxMan  over a year ago

motherwell

It's really got nothing to do with anyone else if someone is cheating it's there choice

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm married but apart from threesomes, it's only me who meets fellow Fabbers. I was completely faithful for 6 years but we decided to go down this route because I was finding it harder and harder to resist temptation. The last thing I wanted to do was cheat on my hubby or deceive him in any way so it led to a very difficult conversation. Now we are happier than we've ever been, I feel like a weight has been lifted and I get the comfort and stability of a loving relationship as well as the excitement and butterflies of meeting new people!

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By *eerobCouple  over a year ago

solihull


"It's really got nothing to do with anyone else if someone is cheating it's there choice "

Its got everything to do with the partners who are being cheated on. Its not a victimless 'crime'. If you are in love with someone and they lie and cheat on you are you seriously going to say its nothing to do with you?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's really got nothing to do with anyone else if someone is cheating it's there choice "
no it has nt but it's only fair to honest with potential meets i for one would not wish to be implicated

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By *urycpl14Couple  over a year ago

Manchester


"May all those happy swinging couples pat themselves on the back and smugly grin at each other for having such a perfect relationship.

Saying that I'm always hugely impressed with couples who swing. It's something I haven't got.

People make judgements all the time and those judgements are right. For them, at least.

It's too easy and too simplistic to announce 'cheating is wrong'. So is murder - except it's legal in some

places.

Don't forget: the moral maze isn't always as clear cut as you think it is. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm going to give you the Mary Poppins answer!... Add a partner with a pinch of PTSD, a chronic disease, a shit load of medication,a lot of selfishness and self pity, no sexual contact for 6 years + and hey presto one very frustrated other half that isn't dead yet but doesn't want to leave her husband as she doesn't want the emotional blackmail of his death on her hands. So a spoonful of swinging for me makes my home life medicine go down a treat. And for the sanctimonious among you.... No I don't want to hurt him but neither do I want to see him on the streets which is how he would be if I left him. Reality.

This is my life and in the words of the wonderful Mr Marmite I'm a cheating scumbag! But I'm a damn sight happier cheating scumbag than I was before I made friends on here!

Condemn away! "

Calls me wonderful then goes unlos

Has the clique got to her?

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By *radleyandRavenCouple  over a year ago

Herts


"If one member of a couple has decided to seek sex elsewhere, what ever the reason that might be, surely it is only respectful to allow your life partner to make that same choice as to whether he/she can accept your choice or not.

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Calls me wonderful then goes unlos

Has the clique got to her?"

Not the clique. The noble-minded and idealistic ones who sadly think that their blinkered _iews apply to every scenario and person.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"

Calls me wonderful then goes unlos

Has the clique got to her?

Not the clique. The noble-minded and idealistic ones who sadly think that their blinkered _iews apply to every scenario and person."

I think you can apply that to people on both sides of this argument.

Nobody should decide on other people's motives unless asked to do so or someone puts themselves in a position that invites comment.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Calls me wonderful then goes unlos

Has the clique got to her?

Not the clique. The noble-minded and idealistic ones who sadly think that their blinkered _iews apply to every scenario and person."

Is being noble-minded and idealistic the same as being honest?

We don't think so.

It may seem that our _iews on honesty are blinkered, but it seems that the meaning of honesty to your partner has got lost somewhere, or just being plainly ignored by some?

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By *arry247Couple  over a year ago

Wakefield


"Because they can."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Calls me wonderful then goes unlos

Has the clique got to her?

Not the clique. The noble-minded and idealistic ones who sadly think that their blinkered _iews apply to every scenario and person.

I think you can apply that to people on both sides of this argument.

Nobody should decide on other people's motives unless asked to do so or someone puts themselves in a position that invites comment. "

We agree totally with that comment. Ther will always be genuine circumstances but in many cases those circumstances seem to be fabricated by the person who wants to cheat.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't give a fuck.

I wouldn't be doing it if my husband had payed me any attention at all in the last 10+ years. "

Why not divorce his ass and get all the attention you want without the risk of it blowing up?

If there's kids involved im of the opinion a loveless house hold is worse than two loving homes.

Nit judging just putting it out there

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Calls me wonderful then goes unlos

Has the clique got to her?

Not the clique. The noble-minded and idealistic ones who sadly think that their blinkered _iews apply to every scenario and person.

I think you can apply that to people on both sides of this argument.

Nobody should decide on other people's motives unless asked to do so or someone puts themselves in a position that invites comment.

We agree totally with that comment. Ther will always be genuine circumstances but in many cases those circumstances seem to be fabricated by the person who wants to cheat."

Surely if there are genuine circumstances, the person in question should be honest with their partner? People are so quick to judge without knowing the back story.

Cheating is cheating and not swinging is the message I got from the forums...

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"

Calls me wonderful then goes unlos

Has the clique got to her?

Not the clique. The noble-minded and idealistic ones who sadly think that their blinkered _iews apply to every scenario and person.

I think you can apply that to people on both sides of this argument.

Nobody should decide on other people's motives unless asked to do so or someone puts themselves in a position that invites comment.

We agree totally with that comment. Ther will always be genuine circumstances but in many cases those circumstances seem to be fabricated by the person who wants to cheat.

Surely if there are genuine circumstances, the person in question should be honest with their partner? People are so quick to judge without knowing the back story.

Cheating is cheating and not swinging is the message I got from the forums..."

Some people are quick to judge without knowing the back story, it happens all the time. Fat = lazy, on benefits =scrounger, single mum=feckless, swinger= promiscuous. I could go on. People judge, either live with it or don't advertise the activity they are judging you on. This is a circular argument that will end.

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By *rtemisiaWoman  over a year ago

Norwich


"There's no clear-cut answer.

Someone could have the perfect partner at home - lovely person, great romance, a fantastic lover... and still cheat just because they can, or they like variety, or they're quite simply a selfish Cunt.

Some do it to get back at Partners, claim they're just not getting enough at home or say they fell out of love and are simply staying for the kids or convenience.

You'll hear many reasons/excuses thrown around.

I once used to think that if I was getting what I needed at home, I wouldn't want to look elsewhere. Think I was kidding myself. He knows though, and sometimes joins in, so at least it's honest. We all have different needs and our partners can not always provide the solution so we take other people to fulfil these wants. Many relationships survive because of the extracurricular sex. "

I think ours has, although I find it hard to get my head around it sometimes. Still, if it ain't broke....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"because my wife refuses me sex

simple

Have you told her what you have decided to do?"

No, not at all, and to be honest ive only `cheated` a few times. Never having full sex with anyone, only oral and masturbating.

We get on very very well and have been together since school. my only problem is she hates sex (unless d*unk, which is not very often)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Because they are bored with the same sex with hubby so want new meat. I know cos I meet married women and that's what they say usually

Spot on "

Thanks

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By *dventuroususCouple  over a year ago

sunderland


"It's really got nothing to do with anyone else if someone is cheating it's there choice "

it has everything to do with everyone else ifthre cheat is dragging them into there web of lies, if they state what they are doing in order to give people the choice to get involved or not, then thats the very least they can do.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This thread needs to be answered by the many, many "single" guys (and probably a few ladies) who are doing exactly that. If it isn't you...then you don't really know!

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"This thread needs to be answered by the many, many "single" guys (and probably a few ladies) who are doing exactly that. If it isn't you...then you don't really know!"

never was truer word spoken.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This thread needs to be answered by the many, many "single" guys (and probably a few ladies) who are doing exactly that. If it isn't you...then you don't really know!

never was truer word spoken."

Only because you haven't followed my insightful comments on other threads lol! But cheers, yes. All kinds of comments on here from people with no experience.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"This thread needs to be answered by the many, many "single" guys (and probably a few ladies) who are doing exactly that. If it isn't you...then you don't really know!

never was truer word spoken.

Only because you haven't followed my insightful comments on other threads lol! But cheers, yes. All kinds of comments on here from people with no experience."

Oh! Lol. . Never mind, I know what I mean

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

*piglets*

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By *i015Man  over a year ago

Millbrook, Southampton

It seems from this thread that if a man cheats he's in the wrong!

most of the comments about cheaters seem to be directed at men and not at women, I've seen loads of female profiles where the lady states that see is on here without the hubby knowing but not many of you that don't like cheats have said "she might not be getting any at home......ect"

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"It seems from this thread that if a man cheats he's in the wrong!

most of the comments about cheaters seem to be directed at men and not at women, I've seen loads of female profiles where the lady states that see is on here without the hubby knowing but not many of you that don't like cheats have said "she might not be getting any at home......ect"

"

Yes that is one of the features of fab forums, due to women being in the majority they are exempt from all blame

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It seems from this thread that if a man cheats he's in the wrong!

most of the comments about cheaters seem to be directed at men and not at women, I've seen loads of female profiles where the lady states that see is on here without the hubby knowing but not many of you that don't like cheats have said "she might not be getting any at home......ect"

"

Yes there are plenty of women, but you find that not so many of the woman post threads up highlighting their profile and putting themselves in everyone's _iew.

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