 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Why do I feel guilty after a meet? I thoroughly enjoyed myself at the time but now feel a bit embarrassed & guilty. Is this the end of our swinging careers just as we had started to enjoy ourselves? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Guilty because you think you shouldn't be having sex with someone who isn't your spouse? You have to get those thoughts out of your head. It's physical enjoyment with another person,that's all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Just feel a bit guilty the next day. It's starting to annoy me as it's taking the fun out of it. I think it's my upbringing to be honest. Guilt = sin |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Years and years of engrained 'what is and isn't socially exceptable'.
It's fucking for fun and if you both enjoy it and are secure enough with each other to enjoy it... Who cares what others would think, truth is half of them want to do it but can't break free of the social restriction's or don't have the security with each to try. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just feel a bit guilty the next day. It's starting to annoy me as it's taking the fun out of it. I think it's my upbringing to be honest. Guilt = sin "
It is hard to let go of the ties from the past. We had to realise it was our happiness that came first and we had nothing to feel guilty for if we both wanted it, it made us happy and didn't hurt anyone else. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes I can relate to this about upbringing wtc. Had to laugh the other day. We were doing something with a couple, can't remember exactly what, but the other female said. Oh, you're not a catholic are you. She'd no idea that I was brought up like that. I hadn't mentioned it previously. It must have just been something I said which aroused her curiousity.
No I am not a practicing catholic if that's what you are wondering, that would be much to hypocritical but we are victims of our upbringing whether we like it or not.
"Just feel a bit guilty the next day. It's starting to annoy me as it's taking the fun out of it. I think it's my upbringing to be honest. Guilt = sin "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just feel a bit guilty the next day. It's starting to annoy me as it's taking the fun out of it. I think it's my upbringing to be honest. Guilt = sin "
I understand exactly what you mean and I believe that lots of couples feel this way at some point.
S x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We've been doing this for years on & off but new to Fab. It's a part of what makes us tick so it's weird to want it and then feel this way after x"
I don't think its weird. it's different for everyone. Definitely to us a little time to free ourselves from the past.It took D ages to admit to herself that she was Bi on its own let alone shagging others lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hubby doesn't feel guilty do I'm wondering if it's a female thing. Good girls should keep their legs shut kinda thing??"
D actually likes being the good girl that loves to be bad lol
Who cares if it makes you and hubby happy
I felt weird at first, definitely got over it quicker than D though.
Don't feel
Guilty for experiencing pleasure and making yourself happy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hubby doesn't feel guilty do I'm wondering if it's a female thing. Good girls should keep their legs shut kinda thing??"
I had that same feeling when I was young. I wanted to be sexually liberated but boys look badly upon girls who are. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hubby doesn't feel guilty do I'm wondering if it's a female thing. Good girls should keep their legs shut kinda thing??"
I think men have an easier time separating things (women's legs for example) but jokes aside - I think when doubts arise about any aspect of swinging, maybe a little timeout is needed to reassess your wants/desires/needs
S x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hubby doesn't feel guilty do I'm wondering if it's a female thing. Good girls should keep their legs shut kinda thing??
I think men have an easier time separating things (women's legs for example) but jokes aside - I think when doubts arise about any aspect of swinging, maybe a little timeout is needed to reassess your wants/desires/needs
S x"
For us we, certainly at first were constantly thinking and talking about wants/desires/needs and what made us happy/comfortable or uncomfortable. I think you really need to get your head straight and understand your partners headspace for it to really work properly and make everyone happy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hubby doesn't feel guilty do I'm wondering if it's a female thing. Good girls should keep their legs shut kinda thing??
I think men have an easier time separating things (women's legs for example) but jokes aside - I think when doubts arise about any aspect of swinging, maybe a little timeout is needed to reassess your wants/desires/needs
S x
For us we, certainly at first were constantly thinking and talking about wants/desires/needs and what made us happy/comfortable or uncomfortable. I think you really need to get your head straight and understand your partners headspace for it to really work properly and make everyone happy."
Very true  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
One thing to think about is this.
Treat the guilt as one of the pleasures of doing this. Those butterflies you get in your tummy on the day of a meet are part of the guilty pleasure. Treat it like that and you wont go wrong.
XX |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Why do I feel guilty after a meet? I thoroughly enjoyed myself at the time but now feel a bit embarrassed & guilty. Is this the end of our swinging careers just as we had started to enjoy ourselves? "
I will play devil's advocate (or maybe it's angel's in this case?) and say if you feel guilty maybe what you are doing is at odds with your conscience and it is not right for you to do it. We can learn to silence that inner voice, but I am not sure it's a good idea, we are who and what we are, and ought to stay true to ourselves IMO.
I can do things which I know 'on paper' are wrong, but if my conscience is clear that dictates they are OK for me to do, here, now, I will carry on.
If something makes me feel guilty, I won't do it, it's wrong for me.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"One thing to think about is this.
Treat the guilt as one of the pleasures of doing this. Those butterflies you get in your tummy on the day of a meet are part of the guilty pleasure. Treat it like that and you wont go wrong.
XX"
I like the thought of that. Turning a negative into a positive. It's all about perspective xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why do I feel guilty after a meet? I thoroughly enjoyed myself at the time but now feel a bit embarrassed & guilty. Is this the end of our swinging careers just as we had started to enjoy ourselves?
I will play devil's advocate (or maybe it's angel's in this case?) and say if you feel guilty maybe what you are doing is at odds with your conscience and it is not right for you to do it. We can learn to silence that inner voice, but I am not sure it's a good idea, we are who and what we are, and ought to stay true to ourselves IMO.
I can do things which I know 'on paper' are wrong, but if my conscience is clear that dictates they are OK for me to do, here, now, I will carry on.
If something makes me feel guilty, I won't do it, it's wrong for me.
"
Hmmmm. Something to think over......I think I'll get myself along to chapel tomorrow & confess my sins. Might take a while right enough. Wonder what the priest will think when I tell him about the 2 big black guys we brought home from a nightclub last night  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Why do I feel guilty after a meet? I thoroughly enjoyed myself at the time but now feel a bit embarrassed & guilty. Is this the end of our swinging careers just as we had started to enjoy ourselves?
I will play devil's advocate (or maybe it's angel's in this case?) and say if you feel guilty maybe what you are doing is at odds with your conscience and it is not right for you to do it. We can learn to silence that inner voice, but I am not sure it's a good idea, we are who and what we are, and ought to stay true to ourselves IMO.
I can do things which I know 'on paper' are wrong, but if my conscience is clear that dictates they are OK for me to do, here, now, I will carry on.
If something makes me feel guilty, I won't do it, it's wrong for me.
Hmmmm. Something to think over......I think I'll get myself along to chapel tomorrow & confess my sins. Might take a while right enough. Wonder what the priest will think when I tell him about the 2 big black guys we brought home from a nightclub last night "
He may want your fab handle. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hubby doesn't feel guilty do I'm wondering if it's a female thing. Good girls should keep their legs shut kinda thing??"
I think it is a woman's thing.. Lee is all for me having fun alone but I am wracked with guilt and refuse to enjoy it if he isn't there but for me I'd never played how we began To... The intimacy and the togetherness all new and I feel guilty about someone else having that... Lee doesn't suffer the same and is constantly trying to reassure me its just different x
I Dont feel bad if we are together... Its just the thought of alone x so I think it's a girl thing x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hubby doesn't feel guilty do I'm wondering if it's a female thing. Good girls should keep their legs shut kinda thing??
I think it is a woman's thing.. Lee is all for me having fun alone but I am wracked with guilt and refuse to enjoy it if he isn't there but for me I'd never played how we began To... The intimacy and the togetherness all new and I feel guilty about someone else having that... Lee doesn't suffer the same and is constantly trying to reassure me its just different x
I Dont feel bad if we are together... Its just the thought of alone x so I think it's a girl thing x"
I'm with you on that. I have no interest in meeting on my own but hubby gets turned on by the thought of it. That's 1 line I'm not crossing. Not judging others just know myself x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hubby doesn't feel guilty do I'm wondering if it's a female thing. Good girls should keep their legs shut kinda thing??
I think it is a woman's thing.. Lee is all for me having fun alone but I am wracked with guilt and refuse to enjoy it if he isn't there but for me I'd never played how we began To... The intimacy and the togetherness all new and I feel guilty about someone else having that... Lee doesn't suffer the same and is constantly trying to reassure me its just different x
I Dont feel bad if we are together... Its just the thought of alone x so I think it's a girl thing x
I'm with you on that. I have no interest in meeting on my own but hubby gets turned on by the thought of it. That's 1 line I'm not crossing. Not judging others just know myself x"
We used to both meet alone xx but I did group stuff and never sensual and now I like different things .... So it just isn't sitting well with me..... But I think for me its just the fear of letting Go of my security xx as its been almost 3 years together lol x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
