FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Hard work
Hard work
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's such hard work for a single guy to get meets usually but it's exceptionally hard just recently I really don't know what else I can do,
I'm polite, not pushy and have been messaging attaching pics reading profile ect ect just seems to get me know where |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do women form an orderly queue to your door outside the scene?
No but I'm hardly getting responses
Atleast I get responses outside this site "
Why are you on this site? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do women form an orderly queue to your door outside the scene?
No but I'm hardly getting responses
Atleast I get responses outside this site
Why are you on this site?"
To meet like minded individuals couples for fun no nonsense meets and develop a friendship occasionally
When I say off this site I mean girls not of this site but atleast they respond when I talk to them? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hard work? Think that works both ways, no one can see anything. 
Her"
People can ask and then pass judgement plus I always attach a pic to my messages |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"People expect to see some profile pics. why don't you display them? "
I don't have to? Personal choice not too
I like to choose who's sees them, and if I message someone I will attach a handful of pics |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You are defensive, aggressive and expect people to play by your rules. I am afraid in this lifestyle it will not serve you in good stead."
I'm not at all it unfortunately comes across that way I'm really not I don't know all the answers or right way to do things but just trying to convey my preferences |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"no pics on display
cannot accom
looking for impulse meets
thousands of guys display something...and that saves peoples time...
simple"
I always attach a photo
I can't accom due to living on a barracks but il happy hotel ect but the main target audience are couples and they usually accom
I'm not just looking for impulse meets it's just an option for those genuine and horny members I can hold a convo.
I've steered away from just displaying something as a cock usually turns people away I won't show my face in a profile pic which I dint think is unreasonable and as I said at the start I send the first message with plenty of pics from face, body and cock so whats the difference |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do women form an orderly queue to your door outside the scene?
No but I'm hardly getting responses
Atleast I get responses outside this site
You know the answer then."
Very constructive thankyou |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hard work? Think that works both ways, no one can see anything.
Her
People can ask and then pass judgement plus I always attach a pic to my messages "
I think ladies like to browse before going into interaction, that is what it is.
Her |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hard work? Think that works both ways, no one can see anything.
Her
People can ask and then pass judgement plus I always attach a pic to my messages I think ladies like to browse before going into interaction, that is what it is.
Her"
But if I'm contacting them I attach plenty of pics for them to browse whats the difference they have them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"no pics on display
cannot accom
looking for impulse meets
thousands of guys display something...and that saves peoples time...
simple
I always attach a photo
I can't accom due to living on a barracks but il happy hotel ect but the main target audience are couples and they usually accom
I'm not just looking for impulse meets it's just an option for those genuine and horny members I can hold a convo.
I've steered away from just displaying something as a cock usually turns people away I won't show my face in a profile pic which I dint think is unreasonable and as I said at the start I send the first message with plenty of pics from face, body and cock so whats the difference "
I hate giving advice sometimes as it makes me look as if I'm about to boast.........
ok here goes...lets say U are a lady and u see two profiles.
one has pics
the other does not.
think hard...
processing...
will she buy the bag in the window thats on display or go in and see what else is inside...bearing in mind she's really in a rush..and theres other shops to get to...even if just for window shopping..as she cannot possibly go INTO every shop.
the end |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"no pics on display
cannot accom
looking for impulse meets
thousands of guys display something...and that saves peoples time...
simple
I always attach a photo
I can't accom due to living on a barracks but il happy hotel ect but the main target audience are couples and they usually accom
I'm not just looking for impulse meets it's just an option for those genuine and horny members I can hold a convo.
I've steered away from just displaying something as a cock usually turns people away I won't show my face in a profile pic which I dint think is unreasonable and as I said at the start I send the first message with plenty of pics from face, body and cock so whats the difference
I hate giving advice sometimes as it makes me look as if I'm about to boast.........
ok here goes...lets say U are a lady and u see two profiles.
one has pics
the other does not.
think hard...
processing...
will she buy the bag in the window thats on display or go in and see what else is inside...bearing in mind she's really in a rush..and theres other shops to get to...even if just for window shopping..as she cannot possibly go INTO every shop.
the end"
Is everyone in a rush here? Oh ok?
Well I send pics so they know exactly what I look like when they receive a message you can clearly see attachments so you would instantly look? |
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Your profile starts with:
"Am I just unlucky in the fact that all those I meet don't verify me !!??!!!"
I'd stop reading there - negative, slags off meets and then I'd think why would multiple (assumption) people who've met u not veri u hmmm. Doesn't look good hun but good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hard work? Think that works both ways, no one can see anything.
Her
People can ask and then pass judgement plus I always attach a pic to my messages I think ladies like to browse before going into interaction, that is what it is.
Her
But if I'm contacting them I attach plenty of pics for them to browse whats the difference they have them? "
 True, but what about the ones browsing through choice?
Her |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hard work? Think that works both ways, no one can see anything.
Her
People can ask and then pass judgement plus I always attach a pic to my messages I think ladies like to browse before going into interaction, that is what it is.
Her"
But they can browse the pics I have sent which is then in there inbox and they can freely browse at any time and have a direct link to my profile for the other stuff
I am approachable if they're unsure and want more they can request them
You don't go in a shop and only get the shoes you can see you ask for different sizes colour ect right? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hard work? Think that works both ways, no one can see anything.
Her
People can ask and then pass judgement plus I always attach a pic to my messages I think ladies like to browse before going into interaction, that is what it is.
Her
But if I'm contacting them I attach plenty of pics for them to browse whats the difference they have them? True, but what about the ones browsing through choice?
Her"
That is a fair point and I take it on board
But I don't want to display a random picture or a distasteful one that'll divert any interest
But then again I thought were all friendly and approachable and it only takes a hi do you have any pics, if they like the sound of my text? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People expect to see some profile pics. why don't you display them?
I don't have to? Personal choice not too
I like to choose who's sees them, and if I message someone I will attach a handful of pics "
That's fine. it's your profile so good luck here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"no pics on display
cannot accom
looking for impulse meets
thousands of guys display something...and that saves peoples time...
simple
I always attach a photo
I can't accom due to living on a barracks but il happy hotel ect but the main target audience are couples and they usually accom
I'm not just looking for impulse meets it's just an option for those genuine and horny members I can hold a convo.
I've steered away from just displaying something as a cock usually turns people away I won't show my face in a profile pic which I dint think is unreasonable and as I said at the start I send the first message with plenty of pics from face, body and cock so whats the difference
I hate giving advice sometimes as it makes me look as if I'm about to boast.........
ok here goes...lets say U are a lady and u see two profiles.
one has pics
the other does not.
think hard...
processing...
will she buy the bag in the window thats on display or go in and see what else is inside...bearing in mind she's really in a rush..and theres other shops to get to...even if just for window shopping..as she cannot possibly go INTO every shop.
the end
Is everyone in a rush here? Oh ok?
Well I send pics so they know exactly what I look like when they receive a message you can clearly see attachments so you would instantly look? "
advice ignored...why do I bloody bother.You have taken the time to view my profile OP...its not about being in a rush..its about what appeals..and theres your visual clue.
ask for advice take the sensible advice...its came from everyone really.Your choice not to change it appears...not even a chest shot..etc...nobody is asking you to give away your secret identity batman lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hard work? Think that works both ways, no one can see anything.
Her
People can ask and then pass judgement plus I always attach a pic to my messages I think ladies like to browse before going into interaction, that is what it is.
Her
But they can browse the pics I have sent which is then in there inbox and they can freely browse at any time and have a direct link to my profile for the other stuff
I am approachable if they're unsure and want more they can request them
You don't go in a shop and only get the shoes you can see you ask for different sizes colour ect right? "
Yes window shopping, they may not want to go into interaction, as a single woman will find that can turn to grief, they may just want to look.
Her |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Your profile starts with:
Am I just unlucky in the fact that all those I meet don't verify me !!??!!!
I'd stop reading there - negative, slags off meets and then I'd think why would multiple (assumption) people who've met u not veri u hmmm. Doesn't look good hun but good luck x"
Thankyou I shall amend that people do tend to rant on here I'm just trying to illustrate the fact that I am genuine and do commit I meets I'm just unlucky and people don't verify me as they say they will |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hard work? Think that works both ways, no one can see anything.
Her
People can ask and then pass judgement plus I always attach a pic to my messages I think ladies like to browse before going into interaction, that is what it is.
Her
But they can browse the pics I have sent which is then in there inbox and they can freely browse at any time and have a direct link to my profile for the other stuff
I am approachable if they're unsure and want more they can request them
You don't go in a shop and only get the shoes you can see you ask for different sizes colour ect right? Yes window shopping, they may not want to go into interaction, as a single woman will find that can turn to grief, they may just want to look.
Her"
But they still can they now have my pics which they can browse through they're messages I'm not persistant if they don't reply I do leave them alone |
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But they still can they now have my pics which they can browse through they're messages I'm not persistant if they don't reply I do leave them alone"
People are trying to give u good advice and that's what you've asked for - take it or don't take it but no point arguing the toss as they're being honest and not spiteful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your profile starts with:
Am I just unlucky in the fact that all those I meet don't verify me !!??!!!
I'd stop reading there - negative, slags off meets and then I'd think why would multiple (assumption) people who've met u not veri u hmmm. Doesn't look good hun but good luck x"
Reading that first line I'd be thinking why are they not verifying you? The only reasons I can think are negative. People usually verify even if its to say 'they turned up'. 'they were male' etc |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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advice ignored...why do I bloody bother.You have taken the time to view my profile OP...its not about being in a rush..its about what appeals..and theres your visual clue.
ask for advice take the sensible advice...its came from everyone really.Your choice not to change it appears...not even a chest shot..etc...nobody is asking you to give away your secret identity batman lol
Lol it's not ignored I am listening mate,
I am stubborn I want meet pics to post for all to see
There are endless single guy pics of they're bodies/cocks ect I want something different
But I guess one can't hurt but it's something I am reviewing and considering with all your advice |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
But they still can they now have my pics which they can browse through they're messages I'm not persistant if they don't reply I do leave them alone
People are trying to give u good advice and that's what you've asked for - take it or don't take it but no point arguing the toss as they're being honest and not spiteful. "
I've just opened it to a discussion I probably will make changes and I am listening I'm still trying to get my point across whilst listening to others I do appreciate it all I am stubborn in some respects but to increase chances I'm willing to make changes it's hard to gauge a feeling or attitude in a message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hard work? Think that works both ways, no one can see anything.
Her
People can ask and then pass judgement plus I always attach a pic to my messages I think ladies like to browse before going into interaction, that is what it is.
Her
But they can browse the pics I have sent which is then in there inbox and they can freely browse at any time and have a direct link to my profile for the other stuff
I am approachable if they're unsure and want more they can request them
You don't go in a shop and only get the shoes you can see you ask for different sizes colour ect right? Yes window shopping, they may not want to go into interaction, as a single woman will find that can turn to grief, they may just want to look.
Her
But they still can they now have my pics which they can browse through they're messages I'm not persistant if they don't reply I do leave them alone"
That maybe with you but not all, you only have to say " no thanks" then an autobiography of " why nots" stick some pics up for more chance.
Her |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I will only approach someone/reply to a message if something catches my eye in the profile. No pics = no interest at all."
But I do gave pics they're just private
I need inspiration for something different or exciting lol or have meet pics as they're fun lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ok OP...well have a pic to display and see the difference it makes..I like my profile pics...not everyone does..but all you are being asked to do is give them something to look at..WITHOUT needing to get into the messaging part.
theres plenty of guys doing it, and they arent smutty pics either, its called exposure..right now..all you are(regardless of the hidden pics) is a possible waste of time to a could be potentially interested party.
not being rude...but its been said from the beginning of the thread , and you just arent getting it.
by fab law I decree , act in accordance with given advice. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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But they still can they now have my pics which they can browse through they're messages I'm not persistant if they don't reply I do leave them aloneThat maybe with you but not all, you only have to say " no thanks" then an autobiography of " why nots" stick some pics up for more chance.
I guess so but atleast they have seen me I guess but point taken |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most women will look at the profile before they even open the message so some may not even open your message to look at the pics, they'll just delete without reading if the profile doesn't appeal. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"ok OP...well have a pic to display and see the difference it makes..I like my profile pics...not everyone does..but all you are being asked to do is give them something to look at..WITHOUT needing to get into the messaging part.
theres plenty of guys doing it, and they arent smutty pics either, its called exposure..right now..all you are(regardless of the hidden pics) is a possible waste of time to a could be potentially interested party.
not being rude...but its been said from the beginning of the thread , and you just arent getting it.
by fab law I decree , act in accordance with given advice."
No please don't take my answers as being rude or as if I'm not listening I am taking note it's just to good to get a full answer explained and yes I see it is more appealing and yes I shall try making changes and see where things go |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"if i look at my messages and there are 5 unread,3 with pics,2 without,i wouldnt even read the ones without.."
Yes granted but what if you got one with attachments which you can see by the paper clip? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is this thread going the way you hoped OP?"
Yes massively I'm getting schooled for the better and good advice which will hopefully increase new contacts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this thread going the way you hoped OP?
Yes massively I'm getting schooled for the better and good advice which will hopefully increase new contacts "
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Most women will look at the profile before they even open the message so some may not even open your message to look at the pics, they'll just delete without reading if the profile doesn't appeal."
That's fair enough if be curious if I saw attachments tho? Would you not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if i look at my messages and there are 5 unread,3 with pics,2 without,i wouldnt even read the ones without..
Yes granted but what if you got one with attachments which you can see by the paper clip? "
Ok here goes, an attraction is needed, therefore a pic is needed too, so if you give them out willy nilly, stick one up, best way.
Her |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"if i look at my messages and there are 5 unread,3 with pics,2 without,i wouldnt even read the ones without..
Yes granted but what if you got one with attachments which you can see by the paper clip? Ok here goes, an attraction is needed, therefore a pic is needed too, so if you give them out willy nilly, stick one up, best way.
Her"
I just always attached them so I know who's seen them aposed to just everyone on the site |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if i look at my messages and there are 5 unread,3 with pics,2 without,i wouldnt even read the ones without..
Yes granted but what if you got one with attachments which you can see by the paper clip? "
i doubt id even register there was an attachment, and if i did notice,then,no still wouldnt open it.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"if i look at my messages and there are 5 unread,3 with pics,2 without,i wouldnt even read the ones without..
Yes granted but what if you got one with attachments which you can see by the paper clip?
i doubt id even register there was an attachment, and if i did notice,then,no still wouldnt open it.."
That's fair enough thankyou for taking the time to reply |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Being attached doesn't help does it....or what is your reason for not accommodating?
If not because attached then it may help if you explain?"
I can't accom due to living on a barracks and I live in a corridor with 6 other guys with wafer thin walls in a small room lol it's just not practical
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well done for listening and adding a pic 
Thankyou
So apart from the pic and the rant is there anything else lol "
(I'd still rather it was a proper pic...not a sqwuiffy avatar pic)see what clubs/socials there in your area...attend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I can't accom due to living on a barracks but il happy hotel ect but the main target audience are couples and they usually accom
I'm not just looking for impulse meets it's just an option for those genuine and horny members I can hold a convo.
"
Why not add this information to your profile?
If people see you can't accommodate without a reasonable explanation as to why may simply move on to the next profile - rather than ask you.
Think about how much effort your profile is expecting from visitors to it versus how much effort those people are going to be prepared to put ib to finding out more about you. They will certainly consider how much effort you have put into writing it.
I'm afraid that the way it reads at the moment is giving the impression that you're here for the short term and fir quick fixes.
I appreciate that you've mentioned your absence from the site, but I think it really conveys the wrong message.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well done for listening and adding a pic
Thankyou
So apart from the pic and the rant is there anything else lol
(I'd still rather it was a proper pic...not a sqwuiffy avatar pic)see what clubs/socials there in your area...attend."
Sqwiffy avatar pic? I'd rather that but is all I have atm lol
I have had a good look it's just time and availability plus I've never been it's abit intimidating I think sound |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being attached doesn't help does it....or what is your reason for not accommodating?
If not because attached then it may help if you explain?
I can't accom due to living on a barracks and I live in a corridor with 6 other guys with wafer thin walls in a small room lol it's just not practical
"
So put something on your profile...or the assumption will be that you are attached....I wasn't having a pop...just making a suggestion. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I can't accom due to living on a barracks but il happy hotel ect but the main target audience are couples and they usually accom
I'm not just looking for impulse meets it's just an option for those genuine and horny members I can hold a convo.
Why not add this information to your profile?
If people see you can't accommodate without a reasonable explanation as to why may simply move on to the next profile - rather than ask you.
Think about how much effort your profile is expecting from visitors to it versus how much effort those people are going to be prepared to put ib to finding out more about you. They will certainly consider how much effort you have put into writing it.
I'm afraid that the way it reads at the moment is giving the impression that you're here for the short term and fir quick fixes.
I appreciate that you've mentioned your absence from the site, but I think it really conveys the wrong message.
"
Ok a revamp is needed I do struggle on things to write so I shall endeavour to improve that
Thankyou |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well done for listening and adding a pic
Thankyou
So apart from the pic and the rant is there anything else lol
(I'd still rather it was a proper pic...not a sqwuiffy avatar pic)see what clubs/socials there in your area...attend.
Sqwiffy avatar pic? I'd rather that but is all I have atm lol
I have had a good look it's just time and availability plus I've never been it's abit intimidating I think sound "
avatar pics are very small lol
more intimidating than being in the army?...come on...grow a set lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Being attached doesn't help does it....or what is your reason for not accommodating?
If not because attached then it may help if you explain?
I can't accom due to living on a barracks and I live in a corridor with 6 other guys with wafer thin walls in a small room lol it's just not practical
So put something on your profile...or the assumption will be that you are attached....I wasn't having a pop...just making a suggestion."
That's fine I didn't take it as such it's good advice thankyou |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well done for listening and adding a pic
Thankyou
So apart from the pic and the rant is there anything else lol
(I'd still rather it was a proper pic...not a sqwuiffy avatar pic)see what clubs/socials there in your area...attend.
Sqwiffy avatar pic? I'd rather that but is all I have atm lol
I have had a good look it's just time and availability plus I've never been it's abit intimidating I think sound
avatar pics are very small lol
more intimidating than being in the army?...come on...grow a set lol"
Oh got you
Haha fair play but to go on my own, what if no1 speaks to me I'd be horrified lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if i look at my messages and there are 5 unread,3 with pics,2 without,i wouldnt even read the ones without..
Yes granted but what if you got one with attachments which you can see by the paper clip? Ok here goes, an attraction is needed, therefore a pic is needed too, so if you give them out willy nilly, stick one up, best way.
Her
I just always attached them so I know who's seen them aposed to just everyone on the site "
Thats better, pics 
Her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mate somethings clearly going wrong for you.
I, like you, keep my pics private but attach 9 or 10 various pics when messaging single ladies or couples. I'd say I have a 60% success rate of getting a positive reply.
So, either your pics..... Or your message content are letting you down? Most couples don't like the direct approach (unless they are looking for a meet at the time)
Are you a good looking guy? If so your banter must be awful? If your banter is good then your pics aren't up to scratch?????
Jack |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mate somethings clearly going wrong for you.
I, like you, keep my pics private but attach 9 or 10 various pics when messaging single ladies or couples. I'd say I have a 60% success rate of getting a positive reply.
So, either your pics..... Or your message content are letting you down? Most couples don't like the direct approach (unless they are looking for a meet at the time)
Are you a good looking guy? If so your banter must be awful? If your banter is good then your pics aren't up to scratch?????
Jack "
I've got great banter and I think my pics are ok but things can always be improved I do get replies it's just not quite 60% of the messages I send out lol |
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I need to see a range of pics on a profile. I almost never reply to blank avatars, and I get bored with attached pis - they get lost and deleted and if there's nothing on the profile.....well I'll just look at one of the other ten that came in that DO have pics on their profile!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hard work? Think that works both ways, no one can see anything.
Her
People can ask and then pass judgement plus I always attach a pic to my messages I think ladies like to browse before going into interaction, that is what it is.
Her
But if I'm contacting them I attach plenty of pics for them to browse whats the difference they have them? True, but what about the ones browsing through choice?
Her
That is a fair point and I take it on board
But I don't want to display a random picture or a distasteful one that'll divert any interest
But then again I thought were all friendly and approachable and it only takes a hi do you have any pics, if they like the sound of my text?"
Some people on here aren't friendly and approachable. 
You asked a question and people answered. You can't change them. Change your profile if you want to. I'd mail you but I do things differently to most people on here. So don't listen to me.
Have fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok I've read the rest of the thread. Some good advice there OP. Up to you if you take it. You seem a happy good humoured type. Post more. Try socials.
Not really sure you'll get what you're after but you do seem ok, which is rare in single guys that do threads like this.
Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most women will look at the profile before they even open the message so some may not even open your message to look at the pics, they'll just delete without reading if the profile doesn't appeal.
That's fair enough if be curious if I saw attachments tho? Would you not "
Not necessarily, when I get messages from new people, I look at the profile first then the message, if the profile isn't all that, I don't often take things further it just then depends on the message and attachments; full of cock pictures and no face picture gets a delete |
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This site works well for me and people like Keenfuckoffgrapher and one difference between our profile and yours, OP, is that we have pics in public, so go figure. Naturally, it's your profile and your preference but if it's not working......? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok I've read the rest of the thread. Some good advice there OP. Up to you if you take it. You seem a happy good humoured type. Post more. Try socials.
Not really sure you'll get what you're after but you do seem ok, which is rare in single guys that do threads like this.
Good luck! "
Thankyou very much it's just conveying that in a profile it's difficult to come across how I want to
Such a shame your from the NW well il keep at it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This site works well for me and people like Keenfuckoffgrapher and one difference between our profile and yours, OP, is that we have pics in public, so go figure. Naturally, it's your profile and your preference but if it's not working......?"
Which why I've asked and have made changed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's such hard work for a single guy to get meets usually but it's exceptionally hard just recently I really don't know what else I can do,
I'm polite, not pushy and have been messaging attaching pics reading profile ect ect just seems to get me know where "
You have been given some very good advice but it is your choice weather to heed it or not.
Not having public photos for people to browse will possible reduce the amount of people willing to meet you by maybe 95%, it's that simple mate but at the end of the day, it's your profile, your meets, or lack of.
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