FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Useful tips for single guys (tongue in cheek, not a serious post)
Useful tips for single guys (tongue in cheek, not a serious post)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have had thousands of meets with couples and fems on the site and here are some of my tips to help you newbies:
1. Have plenty of cock pics on your profile,once they see your cock they are not going to be interested in a face pic.
2.Use a zoom on your camera to make your cock look bigger in your pics.
3. Why write a long email and read a profile, a short "fancy a fuck" email cut and pasted in always works.Its a numbers game, send a 100 out and only 1 has to bite.
Just a bit of fun, add any tips i have missed.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aforementioned cock pic must be photographed against a sky remote. Don't subscribe to sky?? Well you must!! or your profile will be deleted. (Lynx cans are a viable option for those with a poor credit rating/even smaller cock) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Aforementioned cock pic must be photographed against a sky remote. Don't subscribe to sky?? Well you must!! or your profile will be deleted. (Lynx cans are a viable option for those with a poor credit rating/even smaller cock)"
Yep great tip, how could i have missed that one  |
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Assume all wives are prostitutes who just love giving out freebies.
Always choose yourself a really descriptive username like, "Freddie-the-power-shagger"
Always, always deduct 10 years from your age, nobody will ever notice it in your face piccies.
Manners cost nothing, so the girlies would prefer chocolate instead.
Don't bother with real words wen txt spk is sooooo sxy.
And I can't believe we're the first to mention it, don't forget to compare your cock to a sky remote control. |
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Always treat a couples profile as if it's a single fem, because of course the men don't read the messages.
Ascertain as quickly as possible if the female will meet you alone, because couples aren't really looking for other couples.
If you don't have a sky remote to measure your cock against, a can of lager will do. King size, obviously.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tell them you like a long walk on the beach after sex, even though a beach isnt near, you still like walking.
Plus a complimentary cocktail through your kitchen hatch will be provided post bang. Maybe enquire about a first meet, over a romantic KFC bucket and a quick nosh in the back of your nissan micra.  |
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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago
Northampton |
refer to yourself as a Professional. (hey, getting out of bed and writing up 2 weeks worth of jobsearches in 10 minutes just before you sign on is a bona-fide skill in itself)
always contact women at least 100 miles from you - we love the travelling.
if you're a single guy and a couple want to meet another couple (or a woman!) - go for it anyway. we always change our mind. |
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By *tloversCouple
over a year ago
Warrington |
All single women are looking for a man to make them squirt. If they have never squirted before its because they haven't met you yet. They don't know their own bodies and have only ever has bad lovers and crap sex before. You need to make sure you tell them that you can make them squirt. Don't bother with any other nice things they might like. .All women only ever want to squirt..definitely focus all your profile texts and messages on that! It's really horny! |
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If they say they're not interested in meeting you but are happy to chat, ping the female a message every time they appear online, a dozen times a day.
If that means constantly sitting on the computer waiting for them to appear, so be it. If you need to pee, take your laptop/tablet/phone with you, you don't want to miss them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had thousands of meets with couples and fems on the site and here are some of my tips to help you newbies:
1. Have plenty of cock pics on your profile,once they see your cock they are not going to be interested in a face pic.
2.Use a zoom on your camera to make your cock look bigger in your pics.
3. Why write a long email and read a profile, a short "fancy a fuck" email cut and pasted in always works.Its a numbers game, send a 100 out and only 1 has to bite.
Just a bit of fun, add any tips i have missed.
"
You forgot to say that you want bareback sex. That always works
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow bit of single men bashing on here.
As the post says tongue in cheek....... But it's not really is it?
Maybe we should make a chat for weeks then disappears women,or the shag now or not at all couple? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When going to a club always be mindful that the best way to attract females and couples is to wank furiously under a towel as hard as you can. Extra attraction is obtained via a cum face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Put as little information as possible on your profile. That way u can tell every woman or couple that you are looking for exactly the same as her/them "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Make sure you put it on your profile that the green on your knob isn't an sti, its actually a feature so your pics don't look the same as all the other fellas |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"refer to yourself as a Professional. (hey, getting out of bed and writing up 2 weeks worth of jobsearches in 10 minutes just before you sign on is a bona-fide skill in itself)"
you've blown it everyone knows you have spelt proffessional rong dohhh you.... Yea.....yea.
Don't forget clean undies and a tidy room in your pics, get your mum to sort it for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dont forget, when addressing a couple to tell her that you are going to destroy her with your purple headed womb raider, then shoot your man fat deep in her shitbox. You know she will go for it and cuck her hubby and make him clean up after |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tell them you like a long walk on the beach after sex, even though a beach isnt near, you still like walking.
Plus a complimentary cocktail through your kitchen hatch will be provided post bang. Maybe enquire about a first meet, over a romantic KFC bucket and a quick nosh in the back of your nissan micra. "
This sounds great!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rants in forums about not getting meets should be at least 10 times longer than your actual profile. The babes love it and you will be knee deep in clunge begging to prove how genuine they are.
Fact! |
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Dont ever read profiles its too much effort, and never take any notice of someones age preferences they will probably just fuck you anyway whats 10 years of difference if you look or act younger anyway |
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