FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > I'm not going there
I'm not going there
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you have a person on site, that if you see their name listed on someone else’s verifications, who has contacted you, you say “I’m not going there” because of the amount of people, the named person has been with in a short space of time, for example over 100 in six months?
"
Sometimes, yes. It's one thing being "ethusiastic" and another having no real standards.
That said, we shouldn't judge. Some people want to fuck anything anything with a hole or a cock, some don't. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you have a person on site, that if you see their name listed on someone else’s verifications, who have contacted you, you say “I’m not going there” because of the amount of people, the named person has been with in a short space of time, for example over 100 in six months?
Sorry accidently deleted my original post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think what can be worse than a lot of verifications is verfications that go against the profile's preferences.
To use a (made up) example, if someone said "no BBWs or smokers" then had verfications off both, well, that'd make us think for sure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i would not go there if i saw that many verifications "
I think it all depends on if those veri's are actual sexual meets or a mix of sexual and social. But understand the apprehension with so many notches on that person's 'bedpost' if they were sexual meets.
We like to meet people who have a life other than swinging. There's more to talk about then when on a social meet. Think some people can get a little obsessive about this lifestyle and wanting to meet every day.
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By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago
south staffs |
If I see a profile with verifications dated every week for a few months, then I begin to wonder when that person has had time to go for a check-up.
In every case, I will ask for their check-up "history" and find out if they have any proof of their claims.
A few weeks ago I asked a guy to go and have a check-up, and he came back positive for chlamydia !!
Jane x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The person that I have in mind, their veris are actual sexual meets and with different people, didn't count the repeats or phone and web"
See, that to me would scream 'obsessive', with no outside life or interests at all. I know we are all here for one ultimate purpose but surely there has to be priorities! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could be worse, someone with 5 verifications showing could have 200 hidden  least with the above you know what you're getting  "
This,to us,is one of the problems with being able to hide verifications,you may end up meeting someone you would otherwise not entertain. 
XXXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i'd like to give a different perspective here
i was in a sexless marriage for a long time and have been having a wonderful time making up for it in here.
i have very high standards and everyone i've met have had to work hard to meet me. everyone of them i have fancied too
just because someone has had lots of meets doesnt make them obsessed, it means they're enjoying the site for its purpose!
eaqch to their own - far too many judgemental people on this site! |
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We have only played with about a third of the people who have verified us, the rest are from socials etc, and our verifs span about 14 months.
So, how often is "too often" for playing?
Or, how many is "too many"?
I wish someone would write the "Definative guide to swinging", with the rules and regulations all neatly laid out, as we seem to be going at it wrong. I didnt realise that we all had to be the same, conform to a standard number of "swing meets per month/year".
Is there a limit to how many swing meets you can have before you have to retire as a swinger?
Is it expected that we peruse others profiles and make "snap" judgements on them based on what we read, rather than trying to get to know them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Isn't the point of swinging that there are no rules? Other than the basic respect boundaries then its entirely up to the individual.
My profile is a little different and I've had mail from 2 women and several single men telling me I shouldn't be on here for any other purpose than to have sex. I don't want or need to have sex with different people all the time. Thats my preferance & I make no apologies for it, the same as someone who has lots of meets shouldn't either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have only played with about a third of the people who have verified us, the rest are from socials etc, and our verifs span about 14 months.
So, how often is "too often" for playing?
Or, how many is "too many"?
I wish someone would write the "Definative guide to swinging", with the rules and regulations all neatly laid out, as we seem to be going at it wrong. I didnt realise that we all had to be the same, conform to a standard number of "swing meets per month/year".
Is there a limit to how many swing meets you can have before you have to retire as a swinger?
Is it expected that we peruse others profiles and make "snap" judgements on them based on what we read, rather than trying to get to know them?"
Second that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'd like to give a different perspective here
i was in a sexless marriage for a long time and have been having a wonderful time making up for it in here.
i have very high standards and everyone i've met have had to work hard to meet me. everyone of them i have fancied too
just because someone has had lots of meets doesnt make them obsessed, it means they're enjoying the site for its purpose!
eaqch to their own - far too many judgemental people on this site!"
Here here, I totally agree. Is it not a sex site? Just because I'm making up for lost time doesn't mean that I should be judged. |
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So what happens if all the people with lots of verifications read this thread and then decide to hide their verifications? Your not going to know anything then. At least the person is being honest. Bet shes too busy out having a good time than sitting counting and scrutinizing others verifications and then come on the forum to moan about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People moan if others have been on here for over a yr and no meets now people are moaning because people have not been on here long with lots veri's.... There is no pleasing some. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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WARNING - we had 64 verifications on our last profile - please do not think that because we only have a few now we have met any less people.
Couples I have met since I started swinging - I didn't actually count them all but it is in excess of 3000 probably nearer 5000.
Does that put you off meeting me ?
Cool your entitled to your opinion.
I wonder, would it make a difference if you knew anything else about me, for instance.
For 8 years I ran a B+B catering exclusively to people visitint Chameleons, Utopia and Xstasia.
For 2 years I was manager of Papillon des Alpes the Swiss Swingers Hotel.
I worked behind the bar at Chameleons
I worked behind the bar and doing the DJ'ing at Utopia.
Of the 64 verifications I have only ever played with 4 of the couples and none of the single males who verified me.
Still think too many verifications always tells the same story ?
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not sure whether it was Jed or Sasha that wrote that but whoever it was, point made perfectly. Mwah x"
Thank you but it is always Jed on the forums unless otherwise stated (which has never happened yet because she could never get a word in edgeways  |
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By *ipstickCouple
over a year ago
swansea |
"We have only played with about a third of the people who have verified us, the rest are from socials etc, and our verifs span about 14 months.
So, how often is "too often" for playing?
Or, how many is "too many"?
I wish someone would write the "Definative guide to swinging", with the rules and regulations all neatly laid out, as we seem to be going at it wrong. I didnt realise that we all had to be the same, conform to a standard number of "swing meets per month/year".
Is there a limit to how many swing meets you can have before you have to retire as a swinger?
Is it expected that we peruse others profiles and make "snap" judgements on them based on what we read, rather than trying to get to know them?
Second that."
Have to agree also ! Not all of our veris are from play meets - some are also social . We also occasionally meet guys that we originally met whilst on a previous site who aren`t on this one so there aren`t any veris from those ! Also , couples / guys that we`ve met from here on subsequent occasions we`ve not felt the need to verify for a second time etc . It`s all down to personal choices , preferences and percaeptions . Asl long as you`re happy with what you`re doing it`s no-one else`s business !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think what can be worse than a lot of verifications is verfications that go against the profile's preferences.
To use a (made up) example, if someone said "no BBWs or smokers" then had verfications off both, well, that'd make us think for sure. "
We say don't meet smokers, but if contacted by someone, we just ask politely if they smoke in the house? Many people these days won't or don't so we can easily meet them. Our problem only arises if I (Lynne) go into a smokey atmosphere, as I have asthma it can affect my breathing which rather ruins the evening somewhat!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh come on now...let's not be disingenuous: we're all judgemental, if not we would be shagging everyone who approached us!
If you're a non-smoker you'll assume smokers smell of old fag ends and taste of ashtrays;
if your slim/athletic you'll assume bbws and beer bellies are sweaty and smelly - and not in a good way;
if you're young/old you'll feel you'll get lost in the wrinkles/your old skin look like leather beside nubile flesh etc;
if you see a person with a million verifications of rampant sexual activity you may not want to touch them with someone elses barge pole, let alone your own...or you may think, wow, this person knows how to have a good time, I'll get in touch!
Outside of this site most of us keep what we do away from family or friends as we know even meeting one person for no strings sex would be seen as deviant behaviour.
Right...I've got a pile of stones...who's going to cast the first one?!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If i see a male profile and he has met people who shall i say are not the most attractive then i will possibly avoid depending upon what he is like. Verifications are only a snapshot opinion on him at that point in time after all.
I have heard of the male half of a couple avoiding a well verified male on a couple of occasions because he feels he may be shown up sexually. |
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By *andcCouple
over a year ago
London and Cheshire |
"Could be worse, someone with 5 verifications showing could have 200 hidden least with the above you know what you're getting
This,to us,is one of the problems with being able to hide verifications,you may end up meeting someone you would otherwise not entertain.
XXXX"
But their is a simple way around your argument, once verified by a couple of people, tell others not to verify you.
Also remember it's not only the amount of people you go with, it's the amount of people 'THEY' have been with too! |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
so since i go to socials all over the country.. if I end up loads of varifications but they happen to be social... am I them being viewed differently by people?
I reckon about half of mine are actually from social meets.... they may be from people that I have chatted to? am i looked at negitivly?
serious question? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so since i go to socials all over the country.. if I end up loads of varifications but they happen to be social... am I them being viewed differently by people?
I reckon about half of mine are actually from social meets.... they may be from people that I have chatted to? am i looked at negitivly?
serious question?"
Yep...you're a tart!! 
As I said Fab, different people will see different things. You could have 100 social verifications but 1 meet - to some that will equare ro 101 sexual meets!
There's nothing you can do about that but run your profile/life as suits you!
You'll never appeal to everyone anyway, so just enjoy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"so since i go to socials all over the country.. if I end up loads of varifications but they happen to be social... am I them being viewed differently by people?
I reckon about half of mine are actually from social meets.... they may be from people that I have chatted to? am i looked at negitivly?
serious question?"
Fabio,we have chatted for a loooong time now on a couple of forums,I have to honestly say I have never even looked at your verifications,they hold no interest to me as I decide for myself about people and not what someone else tells me about them
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so since i go to socials all over the country.. if I end up loads of varifications but they happen to be social... am I them being viewed differently by people?
I reckon about half of mine are actually from social meets.... they may be from people that I have chatted to? am i looked at negitivly?
serious question?"
Serious answer:
Yes and No.
Serious explanation:
If someone gives your profile a once over and is worried about the *amount* of verifications, but cba to read them, then yes it'll work against you.
No, if they can be bothered to read them, they will understand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hide my verifications, never, not have verifications from people outside my criteria for meeting, never.
Those people are my friends and a testament to the fact that I see people as people and don't shun them because they are not in my "shag her criteria"
My verifications tell people what I am like socially not if I am good in the sack, they show that I have a sense of humour, can hold a conversation, am not pushy, look like my pictures, turn up when we say we will etc.
My bestest ever verification was on my old profile and for a period when I was a single male, it was from a single male and it said the things above but finished with "when I grow up I want to be just like Jed"
I saw that as a very good comment from one straight guy to another.  |
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Do you really think that all the times people meet they record it here? Verifications must only be a 'snap shot' - just people who have met through this site verifying each other. A profile may have just a couple of verifications on here but play every single day! We don't show all ours, loads are from friends that we've met at socials and it's because of this judgemental ' they must be obsessive' 'hardened' swingers to have loads of verifications that we've hidden a good amount of ours. I do take notice of peoples verifications myself but not to such a degree - I meet people that I like and not for any other reason! Z |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" it was from a single male and it said the things above but finished with "when I grow up I want to be just like Jed"
"
A poor mountaineer, barley kept his family fed ?
Kirsty
xxx xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I see a profile with verifications dated every week for a few months, then I begin to wonder when that person has had time to go for a check-up.
In every case, I will ask for their check-up "history" and find out if they have any proof of their claims.
A few weeks ago I asked a guy to go and have a check-up, and he came back positive for chlamydia !!
Jane x"
It only takes one meet to catch an STD ....
Kirsty
xxx xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The number of verifications alone would never put us off meeting someone. Whether people choose to meet every week or once a year is not any of our business.
As long as they look good and there is some kind of connection then not much else matters  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will admit to avoiding profiles if a certain member has met them or is friends with them."
Exactly,and that prerogative should not be taken away from you by being made optional.
We all have preferences,people we'd rather not play with for whatever reason or the people they've met.
So with us it's not really how many but who.
It's doubtful there are many people on here who haven't been influenced in this way either,whether they admit it or not.
XXXX |
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"If someone with loads of 'notches' practices safe sex - what's the problem?
Or am I missing something?"
no- you're not missing anything! What makes me smile is that some people think that the verifications here tell the full story! Like every meet peeps have are recorded here! May be true for some but................ get a grip! Z |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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so just out of interest, a question for people who dont like no verifications but dont like to many, how many verifications is the right amount to have before your not judged for having none or for having to many?
Its a swingers site, isnt the idea of this site to meet for NSA sex? there for your going to meet lots of people, and all because you have met lots of people does not mean you have no standards, theres thousands of people on this site so if you have met 50 thats nothing really, its quite easy to go thro the profiles and find 50 people your attracted to on here
I think to many people read to much into swinging, im a single woman who has no intentions of getting into a relationship so i tend not to do regular meets because if you only meet someone once theres no much chance they are going to get attatched to you, thats just my opinion and my way of dealing with swinging, but i do have a sex drive and 1 meet a months not enough for me, so i do meet lots of different guys, i do not feel that means i have no standards tho or that i will fuck anything, because i wont |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will admit to avoiding profiles if a certain member has met them or is friends with them.
Exactly,and that prerogative should not be taken away from you by being made optional.
We all have preferences,people we'd rather not play with for whatever reason or the people they've met.
So with us it's not really how many but who.
It's doubtful there are many people on here who haven't been influenced in this way either,whether they admit it or not.
XXXX"
do you not think tho that you could be missing out on a good meet with a really nice person, to turn someone down because they have met someone you dont like just makes no sence at all to me
of course its your rights to do so, but i take people on face value and if people are right with me i treat them like wise the idea of turning someone down just because i dont like one of their meets is just ridiculas and i would really hope noone would judge me by someone i had met either |
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"Do you have a person on site, that if you see their name listed on someone else’s verifications, who has contacted you, you say “I’m not going there” because of the amount of people, the named person has been with in a short space of time, for example over 100 in six months?
Sometimes, yes. It's one thing being "ethusiastic" and another having no real standards.
That said, we shouldn't judge. Some people want to fuck anything anything with a hole or a cock, some don't."
the assumtion you are making here is that that person plays with all present which may not be the case
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'd like to give a different perspective here
i was in a sexless marriage for a long time and have been having a wonderful time making up for it in here.
i have very high standards and everyone i've met have had to work hard to meet me. everyone of them i have fancied too
just because someone has had lots of meets doesnt make them obsessed, it means they're enjoying the site for its purpose!
eaqch to their own - far too many judgemental people on this site!"
2nd that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'd like to give a different perspective here
i was in a sexless marriage for a long time and have been having a wonderful time making up for it in here.
i have very high standards and everyone i've met have had to work hard to meet me. everyone of them i have fancied too
just because someone has had lots of meets doesnt make them obsessed, it means they're enjoying the site for its purpose!
eaqch to their own - far too many judgemental people on this site!
2nd that!"
me too and its always seems to be the couples who look down their noses at other, not all couples of course, i know lots of laid back nice couples, but lots of couples have their own ideas of what swinging should be like and lord be hold anyone who plays different!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could be worse, someone with 5 verifications showing could have 200 hidden least with the above you know what you're getting
This,to us,is one of the problems with being able to hide verifications,you may end up meeting someone you would otherwise not entertain.
XXXX
But their is a simple way around your argument, once verified by a couple of people, tell others not to verify you.
Also remember it's not only the amount of people you go with, it's the amount of people 'THEY' have been with too!"
cor blimey, I know what exponential means ... just can't do the maths
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will admit to avoiding profiles if a certain member has met them or is friends with them.
Exactly,and that prerogative should not be taken away from you by being made optional.
We all have preferences,people we'd rather not play with for whatever reason or the people they've met.
So with us it's not really how many but who.
It's doubtful there are many people on here who haven't been influenced in this way either,whether they admit it or not.
XXXX
do you not think tho that you could be missing out on a good meet with a really nice person, to turn someone down because they have met someone you dont like just makes no sence at all to me
of course its your rights to do so, but i take people on face value and if people are right with me i treat them like wise the idea of turning someone down just because i dont like one of their meets is just ridiculas and i would really hope noone would judge me by someone i had met either "
But what if the person you turned down had been verified several times by someone who said on their profile that they "only did bareback with no exceptions".
Would you still feel you were missing out,meet them and take the risk hoping that the condom didn't split,or simply say "No thank you!"?
XXXX
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"everything in moderation" seems the appropriate phrase in an inappropriate environment lol
Just enough to show that a person(s) is/are genuine, that they show up and that they are who they say they are is fine. It helps sort out the honest from the dreamers/wasters.
Can there be too many? IMO it depends what they say. For every "went the whole way" veri, there may be two or three "spoke on phone" veri's. You can almost divide the total by 3 or 4 if that's the case.
As someone says though, it's the contradictory veri's that ought to raise eyebrows, like those veri's from single guys where profiles are religiously "no single men".
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so just out of interest, a question for people who dont like no verifications but dont like to many, how many verifications is the right amount to have before your not judged for having none or for having to many?
Its a swingers site, isnt the idea of this site to meet for NSA sex? there for your going to meet lots of people, and all because you have met lots of people does not mean you have no standards, theres thousands of people on this site so if you have met 50 thats nothing really, its quite easy to go thro the profiles and find 50 people your attracted to on here
I think to many people read to much into swinging, im a single woman who has no intentions of getting into a relationship so i tend not to do regular meets because if you only meet someone once theres no much chance they are going to get attatched to you, thats just my opinion and my way of dealing with swinging, but i do have a sex drive and 1 meet a months not enough for me, so i do meet lots of different guys, i do not feel that means i have no standards tho or that i will fuck anything, because i wont"
this is me - i came on looking for regular buddies and got a little greedy - lots of fantastic guys on here, socially and in the bedroom. i had lots of fun and will do again in future. that doesnt make me a slut who'll fuck anyone, it means i'm doing whats right for me.
if people wanna judge me cos i have lots of verifications, thats their perogative, but its a sad day when someone decides you'll fuck anyone cos you enjoy sex and lots of it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hey cheeky little devil, don't let it worry you, do whats right for you, theres just as much if not more judging, bitching and back stabbing in the swinging world as there is outwith |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you have a person on site, that if you see their name listed on someone else’s verifications, who has contacted you, you say “I’m not going there” because of the amount of people, the named person has been with in a short space of time, for example over 100 in six months?
if i saw a large friends list with loads of versification yes i wouldn't go there
also none verifications and long friends list i wouldn't go there
Sometimes, yes. It's one thing being "ethusiastic" and another having no real standards.
That said, we shouldn't judge. Some people want to fuck anything anything with a hole or a cock, some don't."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hey cheeky little devil, don't let it worry you, do whats right for you, theres just as much if not more judging, bitching and back stabbing in the swinging world as there is outwith "
Hey
i did let it worry me but i don't now.
I don't let peoples opinions of me affect my decisions outside the site so I ain't gonna start now
thanks hun x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hey cheeky little devil, don't let it worry you, do whats right for you, theres just as much if not more judging, bitching and back stabbing in the swinging world as there is outwith
Hey
i did let it worry me but i don't now.
I don't let peoples opinions of me affect my decisions outside the site so I ain't gonna start now
thanks hun x"
the thing is people who judge us by whats on our profile, who have never met us, probably arnt going to be the type of people we looking for anyway
Im looking for fun, friendly people who i can have a no string relationship with while still maintaining a freindship
NOT suck up people who are so wrapped up in themselves that they decide they dont like me because of something that written on the profiles of someone i have met |
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