FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why do you ask "How many have you met from here?"
Why do you ask "How many have you met from here?"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So my partner and I were discussing over lunch the kinds of mails that I get on this account. He was, quite frankly, stunned at the way that women are apparently spoken to on here.
However an interesting debate came up about why men seem so keen to know these things:
- If I've met anyone from this site.
- When I last met someone.
- How many people I have met from this site.
- How many people I have ever had sex with.
I'm quite cynical about these questions but he made a persuasive argument that people could just be innocently making conversation because this site and swinging are something that we have in common so it's a good starting point for discussion.
So I figured I'd open it up to the floor - if you ask those questions, what is your motivation behind asking them? |
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Some people struggle to make conversation on. So think mostly it's innocent but if they want to know for a particular reason then hey it's a swinging site, what do u expect?! When I get asked I just kind of say look at my veris for an idea on the answer 
Last week I had a guy asking more and more intrusive questions even though each got a progressively strongly worded version of what the fucks it to do with you - what job did I do, what car did I drive, did I rent or own. WTF  |
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I usually ask in relation to how are they getting on here, are they having much success, has it been worth their while etc.
I agree asking how many people you've had sex with does seem odd. Like, ever??
Also I can only imagine the kinds of messages single women profiles get on here. It must be pretty depressing. |
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By *y2funMan
over a year ago
DUDLEY |
"Last week I had a guy asking more and more intrusive questions "
some people making small talk I guess , others being nosey as.....
i do think there's a very odd element at times here, about how many people you have met.. you can be judged by it both ways, too many, or not enough...
no body wants to meet newbies and no one wants to follow half the British legion down the hole..............
if people don't like what they see or hear they can walk on by, their choice ay? |
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Asking about someones experiences with Fab could be all about determining whether they are real or not. But asking questions about their jobs, cars or how often they've had sex befor...
Surely the makings of a BLOCK. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some see it as Russian roulette so they are asking how many times the trigger has been pulled and working out the risk to themselves. It won't be that way for all but there are some that do think that way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks guys, some interesting points there that I hadn't considered.
I generally think that those things about someone else are none of my business personally, but could see how people might wonder for all kinds of reasons.
I suppose it is, as someone said above, because either way you're going to be judged on it. Are you innocent and pure or are you a madonna? That's what I always wonder when I see those kinds of questions. |
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People talk about their common subject. Parents talk about kids, colleagues talk about work, friends talk about other friends, etc. The common subject is sex here. And usually people may find other questions, job or life arrangement related, more intrusive to their lives than sex questions. But of course there has to be certain boundaries too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although it can be harmless & just to judge how genuine the person you you're messaging, it can also perform negatively.
I find that in many cases (usually guys/husbands etc) - they're asking about previous meets to satisfy their dirty thoughts. They just want to hear descriptions so they can envision it themselves. It can be really off-putting meeting a couple, for example.
There are of course scenarios in which this kind of chat is completely fine but it's usually easy enough to spot a fake if and when someone comes along  |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"Asking about someones experiences with Fab could be all about determining whether they are real or not."
Very much this. It's the sort of question we would ask, not because we are interested in finding out a number, but in seeing how someone answers.
You can tell a lot about someone initially by how thoughtful their replies seem. If the answer to something like 'have you met many people from Fab?' is simply 'yes' or 'no', the signs aren't generally positive, got us.
Mind you, we would never ask 'how many people have you met from here?', that's a much more intrusive question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never been asked those questions and I'm not interested in how many they have met, so I wouldn't ask, its not my business, if no verification it does answer the question already  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you prefer it if you were sent messages asking about the latest price of the FTSE 100
Or would that be even more strange 
U might turn me on with that dirty talk  "
The only dirty talk involving shares is the amount of money lost  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Asking about someones experiences with Fab could be all about determining whether they are real or not.
Very much this. It's the sort of question we would ask, not because we are interested in finding out a number, but in seeing how someone answers.
You can tell a lot about someone initially by how thoughtful their replies seem. If the answer to something like 'have you met many people from Fab?' is simply 'yes' or 'no', the signs aren't generally positive, got us.
Mind you, we would never ask 'how many people have you met from here?', that's a much more intrusive question."
I couldn't have put it better + I am just nosey ha ha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"maybe it's like playing conkers. If you've got a sixer (i.e. you've beaten 6 other conkers with it) and you beat a twelver, you now have an eighteener "
OMG, that's brilliant. |
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