FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Self Esteem
Self Esteem
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Question mainly for ladies but guess it can go for men too.
Do people get a boost to their self esteem from the attention they get from others on fab? If so, is that part of the reason for being involved in swinging and on fab? Matt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The guy has to be very charming to boost it but mostly no I have high self esteem anyway. Yes I am guilty of being arrogant but it's mostly when I'm Dom which is allowed. Normally I know I'm not perfect.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So many compliments are little ego boosts and can be very lovely,there is a danger if you let it go to your head and become a diva with delusions of granduer
It has nothing to with why we're on here though,we didn't realise it would be like this before we joined  |
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By *himaeraWoman
over a year ago
near derby. |
"the girls F`in love it. they have never seen attention like it in alot of cases"
I don't think that's true. Single females may get lots of messages, but 90% are the usual - don't fit what I'm looking for, haven't read my profile, don't have any pics, are married, blah blah so get a polite "no thanks". I don't think it counts as "attention" if it's random blokes looking for a shag, with no concern as to whether they actually fancy someone or not! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the girls F`in love it. they have never seen attention like it in alot of cases
lol, you reckon!
I'd love for a man to live a woman's life for a week "
there are quite a few blokes onhere who do that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No... I know mostly it's false attention and if anything find if I'm not feeling my best in other areas of my life, this place can totally knock me.
Cali x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a lot of women who come here (not all) are lacking the attention they require and should be getting from their partners so the attention they receive in large doses from the guys in here does unfortunately over inflate some of their egos |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of women who come here (not all) are lacking the attention they require and should be getting from their partners so the attention they receive in large doses from the guys in here does unfortunately over inflate some of their egos "
So they make their partners create a couples account with them on a swinging site because they crave attention from them?
I can see men all over the country falling for that |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"Question mainly for ladies but guess it can go for men too.
Do people get a boost to their self esteem from the attention they get from others on fab? If so, is that part of the reason for being involved in swinging and on fab? Matt"
sex boosts your feeling of well being, so if you are doing it well enough, your esteem is probably massaged a little. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of women who come here (not all) are lacking the attention they require and should be getting from their partners so the attention they receive in large doses from the guys in here does unfortunately over inflate some of their egos "
I came here for the sex I didn't get when I was married |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess if I was a lady and I had my inbox full every day of people telling me how hot I was, having all my pics Fabbed hundreds of times and loads of people desperate to shag me, yeah it must make your esteem (or ego? or perhaps both) increase.
I guess it depends how realistic you are in terms of what all the attention on here means. If you're _iewed just as an object who will fuck and suck then possibly it could have the opposite effect - i.e. if you're just seen as a means for sex rather than a 'real' person in some people's eyes.
But I would hope most men would be looking at the whole package in a lady not just _iew her a potential shag, so in that respect it must be positive for most |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no delusions but I do like the attention and yes that can give a little boost, but I don't take what strangers say seriously. When my friends on here compliment me, I know they mean it and that is a nice feeling. Equally I tend not to take to heart anything negative that anyone says. |
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"the girls F`in love it. they have never seen attention like it in alot of cases
lol, you reckon!
I'd love for a man to live a woman's life for a week
there are quite a few blokes onhere who do that "
True!
What I meant was that most women are paid a lot of attention by the opposite sex, men look when you walk past them, they appraise you in shops, look you up and down in cafes, look at you as they drive past etc. It's pretty obvious that we're attractive to them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the girls F`in love it. they have never seen attention like it in alot of cases
lol, you reckon!
I'd love for a man to live a woman's life for a week
there are quite a few blokes onhere who do that
True!
What I meant was that most women are paid a lot of attention by the opposite sex, men look when you walk past them, they appraise you in shops, look you up and down in cafes, look at you as they drive past etc. It's pretty obvious that we're attractive to them "
Either I'm unobservant or unattractive as I've never noticed this! |
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"the girls F`in love it. they have never seen attention like it in alot of cases
lol, you reckon!
I'd love for a man to live a woman's life for a week
there are quite a few blokes onhere who do that
True!
What I meant was that most women are paid a lot of attention by the opposite sex, men look when you walk past them, they appraise you in shops, look you up and down in cafes, look at you as they drive past etc. It's pretty obvious that we're attractive to them
Either I'm unobservant or unattractive as I've never noticed this!"
Unobservant I'd say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm here for sex not an ego boost. I prefer it when men don't talk
That's brilliant! How do you stop them talking? I need whatever that is...  "
A ball gag? The men think they're getting a kinky bondage session, and the ladies get peace and quiet. Everyone's a winner! |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I'm not dumb enough to think that all the compliments on here are genuine...
There are a few people I trust and believe they are... but the majority guys tell me I am stunning before they even see my face which to me = false and trying to flatter their way into my knickers, which will never work.
I'm not on here for an ego boost, and neither am i some delicate little flower who needs pandered to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had no idea what to expect when I joined so that's definitely not the reason why I'm here. An inbox full of 'you're hot/gorgeous/ sexy or Nice Legs from strangers trying to get into y knickers means nothing.
It's a nice compliment when my pictures are Fab'd but the only time I get a boost is if I get complimented from people I've met, especially if they want to meet again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm here for sex not an ego boost. I prefer it when men don't talk
That's brilliant! How do you stop them talking? I need whatever that is... "
Suck their cock |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had no idea what to expect when I joined so that's definitely not the reason why I'm here. An inbox full of 'you're hot/gorgeous/ sexy or Nice Legs from strangers trying to get into y knickers means nothing.
It's a nice compliment when my pictures are Fab'd but the only time I get a boost is if I get complimented from people I've met, especially if they want to meet again."
same |
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To answer the question it's subjective but to put a form of measure to such you could relate the attention to your life outside fabs. For some (see other threads) the attention is overwhelming and clearly a boost to ones ego yet in a normal pub or club they find this is potentially the opposite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Heck no. One of the reasons I don't have pics. People talk absolute bollocks and I can't be arsed with that. I can tell if they are sincere or not when I do send a pic, and then I decide to meet. Or not. |
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"Heck no. One of the reasons I don't have pics. People talk absolute bollocks and I can't be arsed with that. I can tell if they are sincere or not when I do send a pic, and then I decide to meet. Or not. "
Your profile provides very little for those who may be interested to be honest about! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question mainly for ladies but guess it can go for men too.
Do people get a boost to their self esteem from the attention they get from others on fab? If so, is that part of the reason for being involved in swinging and on fab? Matt"
As a man it can go either way tbh, rejection always knocks my confidence but when Im wanted, I'm chipper  |
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"Question mainly for ladies but guess it can go for men too.
Do people get a boost to their self esteem from the attention they get from others on fab? If so, is that part of the reason for being involved in swinging and on fab? Matt
As a man it can go either way tbh, rejection always knocks my confidence but when Im wanted, I'm chipper "
As the above but as a woman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it would be fair to say I've had my own self esteem raised since my time here. We women are so hard on ourselves, but I think men see sexiness differently to my previous perception. I like it very much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question mainly for ladies but guess it can go for men too.
Do people get a boost to their self esteem from the attention they get from others on fab? If so, is that part of the reason for being involved in swinging and on fab? Matt
As a man it can go either way tbh, rejection always knocks my confidence but when Im wanted, I'm chipper
As the above but as a woman "
We need each other....Honestly  |
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"Question mainly for ladies but guess it can go for men too.
Do people get a boost to their self esteem from the attention they get from others on fab? If so, is that part of the reason for being involved in swinging and on fab? Matt"
I feel self-esteem and ego are two separate things. Self-esteem is innate and more to do with knowing your own value. That should not be altered by coming here IMO.
Ego on the other had is more akin to pride and feeds on attention and comparison and that could become inflated I guess.
I think people with low self-esteem can sometimes seek ego-boosting to try to compensate.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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('m not dumb enough to think that all the compliments on here are genuine...
There are a few people I trust and believe they are... but the majority guys tell me I am stunning before they even see my face which to me = false and trying to flatter their way into my knickers, which will never work.
I'm not on here for an ego boost, and neither am i some delicate little flower who needs pandered to)
You don't actually have to look pretty to be referred to as stunning. They might find certain area's of your body particularly attractive, to warrant such a comment.
I myself would drool over what I would deem to be a nice ass.
There are plenty of women who are facially attractive, who don't really do it for me.
But lets face it, on the whole, men do flatter in order to get into your knickers. It's what we do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The Power of Social Media isn't it?
Just one of those things
I suppose it's nice to get Friendly attention but You can get too much of a good thing
Then Some of The Comments on Forums
Comeon Read some of them You can see some People are trying to show off, admit it trying to be Clever ****ers
I think Your right Matt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question mainly for ladies but guess it can go for men too.
Do people get a boost to their self esteem from the attention they get from others on fab? If so, is that part of the reason for being involved in swinging and on fab? Matt"
Hell no.
I take it all with a massive pinch of salt.
Like that turtle in Life Story...
I am on it! |
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"the girls F`in love it. they have never seen attention like it in alot of cases
I don't think that's true. Single females may get lots of messages, but 90% are the usual - don't fit what I'm looking for, haven't read my profile, don't have any pics, are married, blah blah so get a polite "no thanks". I don't think it counts as "attention" if it's random blokes looking for a shag, with no concern as to whether they actually fancy someone or not!"
A polite "no thanks" is a rare thing; well done you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question mainly for ladies but guess it can go for men too.
Do people get a boost to their self esteem from the attention they get from others on fab? If so, is that part of the reason for being involved in swinging and on fab? Matt"
Nope...All that shit just makes me laugh... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally it is a bit of a boost to the old self esteem and has helped me rebuild confidence about myself....but equally I'm under no illusion that most of it is complete bull with one aim on mind! It's not the reason I'm here though.....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of course it's a boost to be told your sexy/attractive etc but yes most of it is bullshit! As long as you know that and take it with a pinch of salt! The nicest boost is when you meet someone you really click with and there is serious chemistry and great sex or you chat to someone and genuinely enjoy messaging each other |
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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago
NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts |
"Of course it's a boost to be told your sexy/attractive etc but yes most of it is bullshit! As long as you know that and take it with a pinch of salt! The nicest boost is when you meet someone you really click with and there is serious chemistry and great sex or you chat to someone and genuinely enjoy messaging each other :-
D"
I totally agree. Many men profess to want to meet me when they have no idea what i look like and havent seen my profile!connection is everything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Heck no. One of the reasons I don't have pics. People talk absolute bollocks and I can't be arsed with that. I can tell if they are sincere or not when I do send a pic, and then I decide to meet. Or not.
Your profile provides very little for those who may be interested to be honest about! "
I know.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think many ordinary women's self esteem is boosted a lot by the attention that is thrust upon them yes ,beautiful women and guys will always get attention by virtue of their looks |
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"An inbox full of 'you're hot/gorgeous/ sexy or Nice Legs from strangers trying to get into y knickers means nothing. ."
This... Would be nice to think that all the people who message me think I'm as amazingly amazing as they tell me I am, but I realise that actually, they mostly just want a shag!! And from observations I've made over the years, it seems to me that most men will shag anything, if it means they get a shag. So....No- it's not ego boosting that I'm on here for!!! Im sure I have cherry picked the most lovely ones who have messaged me, who are genuinely interested in me as a human being, mind, body and soul, of course! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It gives us a boost, the thrill, the butterflies, the attention, the danger. It does however also stir emotions which aren't always positive. This is why i think the relationship has to be solid with lots of communication x |
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"the girls F`in love it. they have never seen attention like it in alot of cases"
I get more attention and offers in the real world than I do on fab, but I think that is down to my profile being off putting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No... I know mostly it's false attention and if anything find if I'm not feeling my best in other areas of my life, this place can totally knock me.
Cali x"
This is me I'm afraid  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm here for sex not an ego boost. I prefer it when men don't talk
...but i like to talk. Usually a lot.
"
Chatting about Ikea meatballs isn't ego boosting,not during sex anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It maybe possible to get one's ego stroked on here but self esteem comes from within and is built on self acceptance. In moments of self doubt positive attention maybe helpful or negative attention may reinforce the self doubt. Either way it is a short term effect. |
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"I think the opposite is true. You need to have high self esteem to be on here because it will take some knocks for sure. "
I agree with this 100%- I think you need a pretty thick skin, and the right mentality, to be able to absorb yourself into this lifestyle.. It's not for the faint hearted or shy! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No... I know mostly it's false attention and if anything find if I'm not feeling my best in other areas of my life, this place can totally knock me.
Cali x"
I think this is very true. We have met a lot of very genuine & lovely people via fab.
But the down side is if your not feeling your best in general Fab can definitely knock you self esteem. Swings and roundabouts I suppose 
Dx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question mainly for ladies but guess it can go for men too.
Do people get a boost to their self esteem from the attention they get from others on fab? If so, is that part of the reason for being involved in swinging and on fab? Matt"
I have zero self esteem and nothing that has happened here has changed that. . .
G |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question mainly for ladies but guess it can go for men too.
Do people get a boost to their self esteem from the attention they get from others on fab? If so, is that part of the reason for being involved in swinging and on fab? Matt"
Random messages, no they tend to get ignored... Both the positive and the negative. However the friends I've made can and have impacted on my self esteem a little as they have made me see things about myself I wouldn't have seen otherwise, and do give me a bit of a feel good 'buzz' that I can't quite explain |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when i first came here as a single i was in bits and was just something i had to do - for many reasons which i now know were mostly self destructive - but now no as i am more in control - and do things because i want to and the people we meet mutually respect each other - i cringe at some of my past and go through guilt phases (less often now) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of the people on here like me coz I fit into one of their fetishes, which doesn't really improve my self esteem but it wasn't low to start off with anyway.
I'm here coz I'm addicted to sex and this place is the best place I've found to get what I want with who I want. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Most of the people on here like me coz I fit into one of their fetishes, which doesn't really improve my self esteem but it wasn't low to start off with anyway.
I'm here coz I'm addicted to sex and this place is the best place I've found to get what I want with who I want."
I like you for your sense of humour, Irenic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most of the people on here like me coz I fit into one of their fetishes, which doesn't really improve my self esteem but it wasn't low to start off with anyway.
I'm here coz I'm addicted to sex and this place is the best place I've found to get what I want with who I want.
I like you for your sense of humour, Irenic "
Impossible, coz I don't have one.
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Most of the people on here like me coz I fit into one of their fetishes, which doesn't really improve my self esteem but it wasn't low to start off with anyway.
I'm here coz I'm addicted to sex and this place is the best place I've found to get what I want with who I want.
I like you for your sense of humour, Irenic
Impossible, coz I don't have one.
"
Bobby Ewing, Consuela and I all know different! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most of the people on here like me coz I fit into one of their fetishes, which doesn't really improve my self esteem but it wasn't low to start off with anyway.
I'm here coz I'm addicted to sex and this place is the best place I've found to get what I want with who I want.
I like you for your sense of humour, Irenic
Impossible, coz I don't have one.
Bobby Ewing, Consuela and I all know different! "
Haha, aw Consuela though... whyyyyyyyyyyyy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It doesn't give me a boost of self esteem on here but the whole reason I didn't like the idea of swinging was because I was very self conscious of myself before we started doing this
Mr asked me to try swinging along time before we actually did (he'd done it before we met, which I knew he had)
I didn't want to do it because of being self conscious but then decided I would try it because I liked the thought of it
We decided to go to chams to see how I felt about it all and from then to now I have never felt better about myself, its really made me see that people in this lifestyle don't judge each other like in 'normal' life and for that reason I would say, yes personally it have given me a self esteem boost since being in the swinging lifestyle and we love it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Question mainly for ladies but guess it can go for men too.
Do people get a boost to their self esteem from the attention they get from others on fab? If so, is that part of the reason for being involved in swinging and on fab? Matt"
Not really as its all taken with a pinch of salt. If you believe all you are told you must have some serious self confidence issues. |
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