FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > when being fussy stops you having meets...................
when being fussy stops you having meets...................
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By *y2fun OP Man
over a year ago
DUDLEY |
we are really not sure what to do, we are two very fussy people... but not shallow. we just know what we like and don't like.... 99% of the time its personality with people which is putting us off not looks.
so any idea's what we can do about it? I know you guys have said before about clubs and yes we will try one but as for fab we are falling flat on our feet.... we can't help what we like and is there any point in meeting just for the sake of it?????????? |
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Might be worth adding into your profile to explain the kind of people you're looking for (rather than just about yourselves, which is still great) as this will naturally alter the kind of responses you get to sway more towards the people you like the sound of. Say what niches you like and what itches you want to scratch.
Also worth remembering that we're not jigsaw pieces, and even though you might never find that perfect fit in every way, you can still have plenty of fun with people who are a good match, even if not perfect 
Happy swinging! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Find somebody you are physically attracted to then meet them for a drink. People can come across a lot different face to face and you might have more luck. Most people are happy to meet for a social and if they're not, they're probably not for you anyway so cut your losses x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a bit awkward to show your personality through messages. Social meets help to see if theres chemistry, especially if its a large social rather than a 1 on 1 because if you dont click then its less awkward and safer for the lady. |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
You can pick up a little on their values and personality from the profile, the forums help. However meets are really the only way to tell.
And there's nothing wrong with wanting the right person.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When we looked for the DP guy we wanted it all to be perfect. We would not compromise and are prepared to wait. It's our expericence and we want it good. |
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By *y2fun OP Man
over a year ago
DUDLEY |
"
Also worth remembering that we're not jigsaw pieces, and even though you might never find that perfect fit in every way, you can still have plenty of fun with people who are a good match, even if not perfect
Happy swinging!"
thanks, food for thought   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
we are really not sure what to do, we are two very fussy people... but not shallow. we just know what we like and don't like.... 99% of the time its personality with people which is putting us off not looks.
Nothing wrong with being fussy, in fact to us that's a good point lol If you aren't ready for clubs try the chat rooms with cam on, not necessarily naked lol, and just chat get to know potential ppl that way. Failing that find a good club nearby and dip those toes ! lol
so any idea's what we can do about it? I know you guys have said before about clubs and yes we will try one but as for fab we are falling flat on our feet.... we can't help what we like and is there any point in meeting just for the sake of it??????????"
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"
we are really not sure what to do, we are two very fussy people... but not shallow. we just know what we like and don't like.... 99% of the time its personality with people which is putting us off not looks.
so any idea's what we can do about it? I know you guys have said before about clubs and yes we will try one but as for fab we are falling flat on our feet.... we can't help what we like and is there any point in meeting just for the sake of it??????????"
Are you actively looking at profiles? Sounds like you want everyone to come to you. You dont have anything on your profile to your type, so will will get anyone and everyone mailing.
You will probably get the same response as those messaging you - you may not be their taste either |
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By *y2fun OP Man
over a year ago
DUDLEY |
" - you may not be their taste either"
so true mate, we do get in touch with a lot of people and when Ang gets time will cam chat so @ least people know we are for real... but we are doing something wrong.... rethink and new profile maybe. |
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"
we are really not sure what to do, we are two very fussy people... but not shallow. we just know what we like and don't like.... 99% of the time its personality with people which is putting us off not looks.
so any idea's what we can do about it? I know you guys have said before about clubs and yes we will try one but as for fab we are falling flat on our feet.... we can't help what we like and is there any point in meeting just for the sake of it??????????"
Do you think that the rest of us aren't fussy and DO meet just for the sake of it? we tend to socialise a lot with people, always meet socially anyway first and attend organised socials that way you get a feel for personality with no pressure to be sexual. We also interact a lot on the forums, lots of people message us as a result, we chat, get to know them. Maybe try those things and build up relationships slowly |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
" - you may not be their taste either
so true mate, we do get in touch with a lot of people and when Ang gets time will cam chat so @ least people know we are for real... but we are doing something wrong.... rethink and new profile maybe."
you cant type and re type profiles, it really doesn't make a difference I think. One of those things though, you never know the fun you have missed until you dive in. Then you'll see it's not that much to worry about. Fucking great actually |
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"I'd rather not meet then lower my standards."
If a person doesn't click' with me, either mentally or physically, I will not meet them just for the sake getting sex. I would rather go without and use my energy on someone who floats my boat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Become proactive and approach people yourself.
And be more specific about wjat you are looking for. And what you are like as people.
To be honest though clubs are a lit easier for gauging a connection |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No point in meeting for the sake of it ~ won't be an enjoyable experience.
Fabs messaging isn't for everyone, maybe use it to find social / club nights instead, attend those and build up a network that way.
Good luck |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Life on Fab should be an addition to your life - not a massive priority in it.
Meeting for the sake of it is pointless.
Worrying about not finding the right company is pointless.
You're better off not meeting at all, just enjoying life and then enjoying fun with others when the right people come along.
Most of the people we know that enjoy this lifestyle just go with the flow, attend clubs and parties and if nothing happens - they don't stress!
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I wasn't attracted to anyone who messaged me I would try messaging the people I liked the look of. If they weren't attracted to me I would have to think about who I'm looking for and if I'm being realistic. I'm not a couple though,so only two people to please |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just playing devils advocate, it is not unknown for people to set a near impossible criteris which then gives plenty of opportunity to bemoan a lack of success.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Life on Fab should be an addition to your life - not a massive priority in it.
Meeting for the sake of it is pointless.
Worrying about not finding the right company is pointless.
You're better off not meeting at all, just enjoying life and then enjoying fun with others when the right people come along.
Most of the people we know that enjoy this lifestyle just go with the flow, attend clubs and parties and if nothing happens - they don't stress!
A"
this sums it up nicely. Many guys I chat to get frustrated with me because I won't meet until I feel is right. I'm in no hurry and as a result have met some complete gems. I'm equally happy if I don't meet at all just chatting until the right connection is there. |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
We've lost potential meets because of this but in our opinion it really is worth waiting till you're happy. We rushed a meet and it wasn't a good result, however, the rest have been great. Lesson learnt.
Good luck. |
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"
Perhaps one suggestion that we could offer is to be honest with those that do take the time to contact and chat.... For example, if one of you does not fancy the look of a couple say so rarher than leave them hanging on while you try to talk mrs into it or vice versa.
We too are choosy but would love to be in the position to refuse a meet as we only seem to attract eithe single guys posing as couples, serial predatory swingers looking for fresh meat or chatty peeps that go quiet on us.......
Maybe you are doing better.than us lol
we are really not sure what to do, we are two very fussy people... but not shallow. we just know what we like and don't like.... 99% of the time its personality with people which is putting us off not looks.
so any idea's what we can do about it? I know you guys have said before about clubs and yes we will try one but as for fab we are falling flat on our feet.... we can't help what we like and is there any point in meeting just for the sake of it??????????"
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"Find somebody you are physically attracted to then meet them for a drink. People can come across a lot different face to face and you might have more luck. Most people are happy to meet for a social and if they're not, they're probably not for you anyway so cut your losses x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No offence but how can you tell a person's personality from a text message ,the amount of people on here who make final judgement on just one message amaze me  |
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"No offence but how can you tell a person's personality from a text message ,the amount of people on here who make final judgement on just one message amaze me "
we meet if we like ,and the other couple like us move on time, looks are unimportant its the people inside..connie xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No offence but how can you tell a person's personality from a text message ,the amount of people on here who make final judgement on just one message amaze me "
Basically its their loss lol |
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I wasn’t sure if I should comment on this because, as a single, I’m probably not what you (the OP) is looking for and I’ve not got such a great profile myself but here are my thoughts.
There is nothing in your profile that really makes me thing. UMM, that looks good; WOW, that sounds fun.
You have only 3 pics up. The first one is a little sexy, the second is pointless and the third one… well unless a guy’s got a really great arse, it may be fun, but it’s not going to get anybody else’s juices running.
If it was me I would go through the other 13 pics you’ve got in private and see if you’ve got any in there that come across as more sexy and more fun, they don’t have to overly explicit if that’s not the sort of people you are.
If do have any then move them across to the public gallery, if not go take some more.
Remember your profile and your pictures are your advertisement to the world about whom and what you are. You need to make it look and read as fun an exciting.
Hope you’re not offended by my comments and others are free to disagree, this is just my personal feelings about your profile.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We tend to attend parties and clubs and in the few years we've been swinging have made a lot of friends and contacts. It is best to go with no expectations. Every time we go we know we are going to meet new people, we know we may not play at all and quite frankly we're not bothered because it isn't the most important thing to us.
I don't recall us ever stressing about the type of people we meet. We aren't obliged to do anything and we are happy to walk away. We wouldnt enter a venue if we were unsure.
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And go look at iconics profile, full of fun and excitement. It looks like she's have a real blast of a time all the time.
(Ok a bit too Goth for me in places but hey; don't it look like she's having fun). |
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