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Couples with single ladies
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I love the thought of this scenario and would love to try, although I think its not as easy as it sounds, and Im not talking about finding a perfect female to join us, but the interaction part of it all.
Ultimately, when singles meet couples, they are there as the couples plaything arent they? Does this bother anyone at all. Have any ladies had any bad experiences with meeting couples.
Obviously sex is likely to happen, but not all married or partnered women will want their guy kissing the single lady, or showing her any romance or affection as such. If we met a woman and she sat by my guy beforehand and was coming on to him really strongly, I would call a halt to it all. If she expected to hold his hand or keep her hand on his thigh all evening or expect him to cuddle her afterwards - its not gonna happen.
What if during the play the female in the couple says no to sex between her guy and the other single lady. What if this leaves the single lady frustrated? There are surely issues relating to this. How do single ladies play it, do they pay a lot of attention to the other female or are they solely just interested in the guy.
What if the guy shows more attention to the single lady than his partner and you feel she is starting to get annoyed with it. Would you stop play. Men are bound to be interested in a new person as its a new body isnt it - i just wonder really if its as good as its supposed to be  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm single, I play with couples.
Many of the questions you have raised are why I like to do a social meet or two with the couple beforehand, all these things are talked through and addressed.
I can and have concentrated on just the female, just the male or equally with both.
Had or not had penetrative sex, or soft swing, kisses cuddles etc.
It's all things I like to discuss before actually getting down to the fun part with them, if at any time I feel jealousy creep in I'd remove myself.... I'm there for fun not conflict.
I have never seen myself as being there as the couples plaything, I'm there to assist in spoiling her or him along with their partner.
I see myself as being part of a threesome, not a tool to be used by a twosome.
On some occasions penetrative sex does not take place, it's not the be all and end all for me.
If it doesn't happen I can soon find a single guy just for me if that's what I thought it was all about. xxxx
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
Personally as a single female I wouldnt meet a couple in the situation the OP has described because it sounds very much like the woman might have some jealousy issues and not really be happy with the reality of involving another woman.
I wouldnt want any party to feel uncomfortable, nor be a source of conflict between a couple, so in that case Id steer well clear. |
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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago
London |
Do you feel this way when you meet couples?
Do you fancy the bloke and your bloke fancy the other female or do you both sometimes do the little things with other couples as well as sex, ie blow on the back of the neck,kiss etc.
I guess you may do and are worried about as we say, sitting on the subs bench whilst this is happening in front of you.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had many problems with couples, i've also many some and its been fine, i personally dont like couples as a lot seem to have a no kissing rule, and i just cant have sex without kissing, to me its the build up to everything and just getting naked and down to cock sucking seems so cold and clinical, im sure couples wouldnt have sex without kissing so why should i miss out on the best bits just because im single? i just find meeting single guys so much easier, its not holes bared sex and you dont have to tread on egg shells when you both only have yourselves to worry about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Ultimately, when singles meet couples, they are there as the couples plaything arent they? "
I really don't think this is true, of any meet, male or female. We do our utmost to make sure anyone we meet feels equal to us (well maybe not in dom / sub play *obviously*) but you know what we mean. It's not couple +1, it's 1+1+1, *always*.
One of the big things we stress beforehand is that the new person does not ever have to ask permission of the other party's partner to do something.
To clarify, example, a man never has to say "can I cum in her mouth" to our man. If he wants to do that ans she is ok with it, there is no need to feel a question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes single ladies are seen as predators by females of couples, if they are at all insecure about swinging or their partner.
We are not there to 'steal' anyone's husband/partner we are there for the same things as you, to have good clean dirty fun... all the more the merrier!  |
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"
Ultimately, when singles meet couples, they are there as the couples plaything arent they?
I really don't think this is true, of any meet, male or female. We do our utmost to make sure anyone we meet feels equal to us (well maybe not in dom / sub play *obviously*) but you know what we mean. It's not couple +1, it's 1+1+1, *always*.
One of the big things we stress beforehand is that the new person does not ever have to ask permission of the other party's partner to do something.
To clarify, example, a man never has to say "can I cum in her mouth" to our man. If he wants to do that ans she is ok with it, there is no need to feel a question."
What they said.
We only play we people that we would like to be friends with, and as friends we would want them to feel relaxed, happy and horny in our company. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The post I started wasnt an indication of what I have experienced, as myself and my partner have never met a single female or male to play with. I was just throwing out random questions to aid a discussion. I dont really know if any of these things happen as I havent experienced it but wanted to know how the singles found it and how they saw it.
Laine's answer was great, really interesting perspective on it. Also I can understand how it must seem with the no kissing rule. When we play as a couple we dont have a no kissing rule as such, I dont really initiate kissing as such, but if someone wants to we will do. Its made me think about sex without kissing though, as there have been times when ive leaned over and kissed my guy if ive wanted to kiss - how selfish that must have seemed.
If we were to ever have a ffm threesome I would want to talk first. I would have to get on with the woman, she would have to be someone I could see myself being friends with. The thing i like about it is the thought that I can take a step back and watch and not be involved all the time, sometimes i get a bit sore and want to be left - if there was another female then i could do this.
Our rule is though, after any play, we have time alone where we sit and discuss whats happened, it turns us on, and we cuddle and kiss and its just our time. In a club it wouldnt be a problem as im sure a single female is highly in demand and would just go and find someone else. Not sure how a hotel or home meet would go.
The other thing I think about is how would it work safe sex wise. Me and my guy dont use condoms for sex, but obviously I wouldnt allow another women to ride him without a condom and I expect most women wouldnt entertain the idea of it either. Surely its annoying to keep taking condoms on and off all the time - how does that work? I have a fantasy of me and another female being on top of my guy, one riding him, the other sitting on his face and then swapping over, but surely the condom issue gets in the way of the flow of things, cos even if he kept a condom on constantly that wouldnt work, as its a risk to get onto his cock whilst hes wearing a condom if another woman has been there before me and vice versa
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The other thing I think about is how would it work safe sex wise. Me and my guy dont use condoms for sex, but obviously I wouldnt allow another women to ride him without a condom and I expect most women wouldnt entertain the idea of it either. Surely its annoying to keep taking condoms on and off all the time - how does that work? I have a fantasy of me and another female being on top of my guy, one riding him, the other sitting on his face and then swapping over, but surely the condom issue gets in the way of the flow of things, cos even if he kept a condom on constantly that wouldnt work, as its a risk to get onto his cock whilst hes wearing a condom if another woman has been there before me and vice versa
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I understand your concerns and if done correctly putting condoms on can be part of the play.
Last group play (3 cpls) I just fired a condom on every naked cock that came near me! (I took it as my responsibility) We all just pulled them off for oral..... and I do know a neat trick... putting one on with my mouth.
Whatever you decide regarding inviting a single to play, with you may you always have fun. xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ive only had one issue, where the woman spent more time in the lounge having a smoke and a drink, leaving me and her husband in the bedroom, not impressed with that at all
think each to his own, ive played with a couple where the wife doesnt like the husband touching the single woman at all, i found it strange but prefer to go along with what anyone wants, ive no interest at all in pissing anyone off and if one decided they wanted to stop, thats fine by me, yes it would leave me frustrated but better than leaving on bad terms |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ooo putting a condom on with the mouth - now that is very very sexy - i cant do it though - im gonna admit something now, ive never put one on before  guess ill have to learn quickly. Ive always left it to a guy to put on (havent ever had penetrative sex whilst swinging yet) but if the woman puts it on, I guess that is part of the sexiness and play |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We dont agree with the lady entering the couple being a plaything for them, we are hers too.We always see it as a 3 way experience with no-one left out in anyway withing any boundaries set so all get out of it what they wanted.
How can she be a threat if the couple agree on her joining and vice versa. Getting to know a bit about each other stops mis-trust,insecurities etc etc.She is the one after all on her own so maybe needing trust etc etc...
Communication is the order of the day. Make sure the lady or ladies both know if any yeh or neh's, as indeed the man too.
The only issue we've had in the past are single ladies, or so we thought, requesting last min can she bring a friend.haha. Erm,if we wanted that meet this time we'd meet a proper couple not fuck buddies with no respect for each other meaning no respect for us.
We welcome single ladies as couples too, couples maybe better at times as theres none of the, she paid you more attention..boo.hoo.
Bugger that, if things aint or dont seem right then just say so.No wires crossed,no forgot i couldnt do thats and no-one leaving half empty.Honesty best policy and if he/she dont like?..Close the door on ya way out pls.
Sounding serious this post really but hey, its all fun... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The only issue we've had in the past are single ladies, or so we thought, requesting last min can she bring a friend.haha. Erm,if we wanted that meet this time we'd meet a proper couple not fuck buddies with no respect for each other meaning no respect for us.
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i think you mistaking respect for love!! i am a single woman and i have a few guys i meet regular or semi regular, i respect everyone i meet as human beings and respect everyones wishes, if i met a couple i would view them the same wether i met them alone or with a friend
Why do you feel that because people are only 'fuck buddies' they have no respect for others? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I must say I dont agree with the statement about fuck buddies either, im sure they have the same amount of respect and rules in relation to swinging as anyone else - ok there are always variations on any scenario - there are couples out there where the guy or woman will overstep the mark without any regard for the other partner.
With the single female and a couple scenario though, i have heard people say that they all have mutual respect and all treat each other the same and whilst, yes they do have respect for each others bodies, the single female is slightly out on a limb. She cant command the guys utter attention or respect or love because he is always gonna put his partner first. They are the ones with the mutual love and affection, they will enjoy a single female but they wont feel the same about her as they do each other. They will have the signals between each other etc.
thats why im sure the sex would be great and thats all it is, sex, anything else is meaningless to the couple surely. I also think that afterwards the couples are gonna be all lovey dovey arent they - theyve just enjoyed a wonderful experience with each other, to enhance their sex lives - dont single females feel left out after the sex? |
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"i cant put the damn things on with my hands never mind my mouth lmao "
i'm so glad i'm not the only one!! If I do managed to get the things one I always get my nail through the things!!
Really want to learn how to put them on with my mouth though....lessons anyone? |
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"Presumably the couple would have discussed this before inviting a single female into their bedroom.
You would have thought."
you'd hope so but my experience is there's far more that don't
i've played with single fems when meeting as a couple with my hubby and have lost count of the amount of times they are surprised (pleasantly) of how open we are as a couple.....they've met more couples were there's loads of 'rules' to follow to ensure no jelaous feelings pop up
Personally, I think if any kinds of jealous feelings may be present, then as a couple you're just not ready for that experience yet and it's not fair on the person you've invited in
Myself, I find nothing more sexy than being part of helping my hubby or one of my friends, have sex with a beautiful woman.....3 way kisses imho are to die for!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cant say we have ever had a problem and think its all about respect and everyone having fun.
This swinging malarky is just a fun pastime and nothing to get too serious about.
steve xx"
Yep..I share these sentiments...all these rules..boundaries...weird jealous musings...wtf...not my kinda 3some...  |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"Really want to learn how to put them on with my mouth though....lessons anyone? "
You put the ring between your gums and lips, hold the teat against the roof of your mouth with your tongue.
I assume you can guess the rest! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes single ladies are seen as predators by females of couples, if they are at all insecure about swinging or their partner.
We are not there to 'steal' anyone's husband/partner we are there for the same things as you, to have good clean dirty fun... all the more the merrier! "
i would agree with that. the one and only time i even entertained meeting a couple was eventful..and that was before we met!
it started of with her teasing about an ex being unfaithful then proceeded with her telling me how she had been unfaithful with her partner, how they had met as a result of both of them having an affair and how some single female they met had tried to steal him away...then she was saying, you can do everything...and the list went on and on....
then came the messages asking if he had been calling me or talking to me alone and how she suspected he was being unfaithful until it got to the point where she wanted to meet me alone and for me not to tell him.....some people should not swing is what i discovered and it totally put me off!
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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago
near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack! |
I haven`t read this all in full, but I suppose it would make a difference in who the SF is being brought into the scenario for - as a "plaything" for both of the couple or for one or the other. I`m thinking more of the female looking for a Bi single female to play with. |
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As I've previously mentioned, and I'm not bragging about it, honest!!!
I live with a couple I met swinging. I was the 'spare' fem, so to speak. We live independent lives. And we are friends first and foremost.
I've been on holiday with the male half of the couple, because the fem couldn't get the time off work. I'm joining them both on their holiday in 2 weeks time.
I have never felt like a spare part, even when I was just sharing their bed, not their lives. Even when they have their teenage daughters round, who are happily coupled up, which usually means their are 3 couples, then me, I still do not feel like a spare part.
If I did, the relationship would never have developed the way it has. Yes a lot of people couldn't live this way, but hey, it works for us.
In the several years I have been swinging, and meeting couples, I have never felt like a spare part. I think, you can feel more like a spare part, if you just sit there waiting for things to happen, instead of making things happen. |
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The best advice we can give you, having met several singles ladies, is know the boundaries with your partner before you start and stick to them. We quietly slip to the loo and txt eachother to ensure we are both happy before any playing begins. Subtly ofcourse.
Know the rules before you play the game |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
Well....
If someone came to me with the questions and insecurities raised in this post, I would tell them to walk away from this type of meet.
As I read it, this couple would be mismatched in the scene and would be better sticking with what they know they both like. I would go further and tell them that just because the man thinks a threesome with a fem is a good idea, doesn't make it a good idea!
There are way to many "if this happens, it stops" rules and that means that the fem who has come to play would be constantly worried about overstepping the mark.
Jealousy has no place in swinging and will cause problems, but it has been an interesting post. One that may warn anyone thinking of this to think very carefully! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I agree that if there is any jealousy whatsoever then you should never swing.
My post wasnt about what I feel or my partner feels as we have never had a ffm threesome - i was just wanting to throw some random views out there, kind of like food for thought and I wanted to hear from single women who have had odd experiences.
I dont particularly have those insecurities and it is not my partners wish to have a ffm threesome, its my fantasy,(though he wouldnt say no lol), its funny but what gets him off is the mmf threesome.
The ffm threesome is something i would want to experience. Ive always wished that when we go to a club, that there would be loads of single women following him around and wanting to play, instead of it being single men following me - but he always says thats never gonna be likely and of course he is right. Shame really - id like to see him ravaged by 3 women whilst I sat back and watched (and help to carry him out of the club afterwards).
But my personal views on the ffm scenario is that the women have to feel that spark of friendship and not feel threatened by one another, its the women that are in power, not the guy, and if the women get on with one another, i can see it all going successfully. If a woman is introduced that the female partner is not sure of, but her guy likes, then i imagine it would be a complete disaster. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always wonder if women have all the power in swinging....as men have the ultimate sanction of not getting an erection if they are not happy with whats going on....
just a strange saturday morning musing on my part...!!! |
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